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Carol’s 2025 Year in Books
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Carol A. Lambert
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October 2016
Coercive Control Is Domestic Violence
If you're feeling confused and dismayed by your experience with an intimate partner, you might be experiencing coercive control.
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“Women may come to the recovery process to "fix" their relationships, but what they end up learning is how to rescue and restore themselves. Many women believe, and you may too, that they need to speak and act differently so their partner behaves more favorably toward them. If your partner blames you for what "you made him do to you," over time you will end up blaming yourself. Your task is to realize that you are not responsible for his abusive behavior. Women tend to work hard to avoid being hurt or to seop their partners from abusing them, but they aren't successful. You cannot make your partner abuse you and you can't make him not abuse you. These are his choices and his alone. The task is to refocus on yourself and your recovery.”
― Women with Controlling Partners: Taking Back Your Life from a Manipulative or Abusive Partner
― Women with Controlling Partners: Taking Back Your Life from a Manipulative or Abusive Partner
“Looking at your own experience of abuse, many factors can influence the degree of traumatic impact you experience. Howe we handle stress in our lives varies; some of us have learned better coping strategies than others. The severity, intensity, frequency, and length of time the abusive episodes have lasted all strongly impact your response as well. Other powerful influences include the length of time your personal traumatic reaction lasts after your partner's abuse stops and your history, before you ever met your partner.”
― Women with Controlling Partners: Taking Back Your Life from a Manipulative or Abusive Partner
― Women with Controlling Partners: Taking Back Your Life from a Manipulative or Abusive Partner
“What makes a successful relationship? . . . Research shows that when a partner dominates another through the abuse of power, it is a prime deterrent to a successful relationship (Greenberg and Goldman 2008). When a controlling partner uses coercive tactics to overpower you, it is a setup for the relationship to fail - without exception. Research about marital relationships in general reveals that husbands are likely to receive more support from their spouse and this fair far better, while women tend to receive less support and experience greater stress from giving support. These are among the conditions that contribute to the higher rates of depression in women.”
― Women with Controlling Partners: Taking Back Your Life from a Manipulative or Abusive Partner
― Women with Controlling Partners: Taking Back Your Life from a Manipulative or Abusive Partner
