Dorothy Littell Greco's Blog

Everyone experiences disappointment from time to time. How we deal with it, particularly if it’s ongoing, can make or break us and our relationships. Disappointment comes in many shades and textures. It could be something minor like the AirBnB looking infinitely better online than it does in real life. Maybe we experience disappointment when we realize our co-workers don’t take the mission of our work or church as seriously as we do. There’s no shortage of reasons why we might feel disappointed.

Despite its commonality, disappointment looks different on each of us. When I’m in the throes of disappointment, my first response is to eddy around regret. (Why did I choose this AirBnB?) I somehow falsely believe that if I cycle back through the process, the fatal flaw in my logic will appear and I will then be able to avoid making the same mistake ever again. (FYI: this is ridiculous and a waste of time and energy.) My second response tends to be a sort of spine drooping, foot shuffling, mopey form of discouragement. I might spend an hour or a day in this space depending on the magnitude of my disappointment.

To read the rest of this article, click this link to The Sage Forum’s Substack page.

The post Straight Talk about Navigating Disappointment appeared first on Dorothy Greco.

Once we hit fifty, we’re officially past our prime and our bodies know it.

Muscles take longer to recover from injury or overuse. Illnesses take longer to shake. Our joints and teeth begin to show signs of wear. Depression can become an unwanted companion. Solid sleep becomes evasive. It can sometimes feel that our calendars are overrun with probing, prodding, and scanning appointments.

We are not imagining these seismic shifts. Statistics support our experiences.

Women over fifty are much more likely to face colon and breast cancer, heart disease, osteoporosis, and stroke. Despite the overwhelm that can result from our new reality, we are not without agency. There’s much we can—and much we shouldn’t—do.

As I write in Marriage in the Middle, “Unless we have a full blown health crisis, we may be lulled into thinking we can get away with sloppy or inconsistent self-care. The truth is, we can no longer afford to neglect our bodies.” So what does it look like to take care of ourselves in this time frame? The specifics will be unique for each of us but big picture, “self-care should mean creating life that’s enjoyable and sustainable for the long-haul.”

To read the remainder of this short article, please click this link to Substack/Sage Forum.

The post What Does Self-Care Look Like In Midlife and Beyond? appeared first on Dorothy Greco.

The first couple undoubtedly had the least conflictual first year of marriage on record. There were no parents to forgive or childhood wounds to process. The absence of sin meant they carried no shame. We don’t know if they loved each other as we understand love today, but based on Adam’s exuberant response in Genesis 2, it does seem that they received each other as good gifts.

Looking back on this Edenic match — perhaps the only match truly made in heaven — it all seemed so simple and so enviable. Who wouldn’t want to form a lifelong partnership with a well-matched spouse, in a breathtaking setting with all our needs provided for at no cost?

Based on the myriad of challenges that we face in the 21st century, we may wonder why Adam and Eve weren’t content and why they couldn’t fully trust God. The truth is, we’re all vulnerable to greed and doubt. Because they gave in to those powerful temptations, they suffered a devastating wound. Instead of standing adjacent and upright before their Creator, they turned their gaze away from God and bent in: Eve to Adam, and Adam to his work, resulting in a relationship marked by disconnection, envy, and idolatry. The ramifications of this wound have reverberated through history.

And yet, the injury was not fatal. Marriage has survived.

To read the remainder of this essay on marriage as a common good, please click this link.

The love we grow and nurture within our marriages cannot be contained within the confines of our homes. We need to share it.

The post Marriage as a Common Good appeared first on Dorothy Greco.

In the hope of reaching more readers, I’m posting my non-commissioned writing on Substack and in my monthly newsletters. You can subscribe to either (or both) of these from my home page. Commissioned articles can be found under the writing/publications tab.

The post Find My Work Over at Substack or in My Newsletters appeared first on Dorothy Greco.

Are midlife marriages destined to descend into endless crises, distance, and unhappiness? Contrary to the current cultural narrative, no! Marriage in the Middle normalizes the challenges and surprises of this time frame and then comes alongside couples to help them thrive. Through story, Scripture, and hard-won wisdom, Dorothy Greco offers readers and listeners hope that midlife can be a season of recalibrating, shoring up vulnerabilities, and imagining new ways to create a mutually fulfilling marriage.

Dorothy joins our host, Christopher J. Harris, for an incredibly warm and insightful discussion on marriage in general and then more specifically, marriages that are seasoned. This conversation will leave you with that sense that you just saw down with your best friend, a counselor/therapists, and a pastor all at the same time…because you did. You’ll smile, you’ll laugh, you may get a little misty-eyed, and you’ll want to take notes as well.

Click this link to listen.

You can find more information on my book here.

The post The Challenges and Blessings of Midlife Marriage, with Christopher J. Harris appeared first on Dorothy Greco.

Winsome, wise host Ashley Hales invited me to talk about how the pandemic has affected marriage and family life. If you’re not familiar with Ashley, she’s smart, a little bit sassy, and super insightful. We discussed how marriages unravel and what to do proactively to prevent this, how disequilibrium can be a good thing, and so much more. This is episode 72.

The post How the Pandemic Has Affected Marriage, On Ashley Hales’ Finding Holy Podcast appeared first on Dorothy Greco.

Winsome, wise host Ashley Hales invited me to talk about how the pandemic has affected marriage and family life. If you’re not familiar with Ashley, she’s smart, a little bit sassy, and super insightful. We discussed how marriages unravel and what to do proactively to prevent this, how disequilibrium can be a good thing, and so much more. This is episode 72.

The post On Ashley Hales’ Finding Holy Podcast appeared first on Dorothy Greco.

Listen in as podcast host Sue Donaldson and I spend some time talking about how to invest in your marriage during midlife. We also discussed the “challenging” first few years Christopher and I had, how we learned to fight well, and so may other details about married life. Tune in to Episode #106

The post On Sue Donaldson’s Podcast, Make It Count appeared first on Dorothy Greco.

After my husband, Christopher, and I teach together, people often approach us and say, “You two are so vulnerable!” Their feedback is infused with equal parts awe and trepidation. Living like an open book has specific drawbacks. Honesty is risky. We have frequently been misunderstood and/or judged. When we admit how and where we struggle, others can scurry to moral high ground and look down on us. Other friends—and some family members—have told us that they often feel intimidated by our candor.

Though the costs are tangible—and sometimes painful—we believe that in the long run, the benefits are worth the expense.

Our choice to live vulnerably means that if we’re in a small group meeting and the prompt is What were your highs and lows during Covid?, we’re not going to gloss over the challenges or hide the discouragement that we both felt. And if we’ve been invited to confess our sins, we’re not going to be vague or tidy up our confession. We’re going to name it and own it.

We don’t live vulnerably because we’re exhibitionists. To be honest, I’m a private person and prefer to keep my weaknesses and failures hidden. What Christopher and I have discovered in the context of our own marriage, however, and in our nearly 30 years of doing pastoral care, is that if we want to grow, we have to have both feet in reality. We can’t live in denial. Denial encourages us to spackle over our fault lines and create façades that might look pretty but won’t hold up when the inevitable storms of life hit.

To read this entire article, please head over to Redbud Writers’ Guild.

The post The Costs and Benefits of Living Vulnerably appeared first on Dorothy Greco.

I’ve worked as a photographer for almost forty years. Perhaps more than any other variable, light affects the quality of an image. Too much light and the image will be blown out and flat. Too little and details get lost. Understanding how to work with the light often differentiates a novice photographer from an expert. When I’m out on assignment, I’m constantly trying to determine the best time of day to shoot and always moving toward the light.

Throughout Scripture, God is frequently compared to or described as light. The prophet Isaiah referred to God as “the light of Israel.” (Isaiah 10:17) David understood God’s word as “a light for my path.” (Psalm 119:105) And as recorded in John’s gospel, Jesus said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.” (John 8:12)

It seems rather obvious then that we should endeavor to be heliotropic—always orienting ourselves toward God, who is the source of all light.

To read this short article, please head over to Elisa Morgan’s site.

The post How to Be Heliotropic appeared first on Dorothy Greco.