Shane Eric Mathias's Blog

What might this portend for the future of Humanity. Could we, at the very least learn how to dramatically extend our lives by studying the Hydra? What gives them the ability apparently avoid aging indefinitely?

Listen to this NPR Podcast to hear Martinez describe how he came to discover this enigmatic creature and why he abruptly ended the almost decade long experiment. 

Will someone one day pick up the ball and dive deeper into this mystery? Should they? What if Humanity had the technology to extend life indefinitely? Would it only be available to the rich and powerful? Would over-population, diminishing resources, adequate space and pollution make us long for the days when humans had a shelf life? 

Let us know what you think.

It would appear that rapid changes are occurring for men and women in the workplace and elsewhere, as they grapple with issues of sex, speech and physical contact. And you guessed it���it���s not getting easier. The continuing rise in women���s power, variously dubbed ���The Me Too Movement��� or ���Women���s Empowerment���, has made it clear of late that unwanted overtures by Men, (especially men in positions of influence), will not be tolerated, and their campaign has been extremely effective, by any measure. Men of almost incalculable wealth, power and influence have been toppled like bowling pins. Some have been forced to answer the allegations in a court of law. But the damage to their personal reputation and professional standing often begins long before any civil or criminal proceedings, by virtue of a news headline which may only describe one person���s anecdote of feeling violated in some way. 

In some cases, as in that of Harvey Weinstein, the disgraced movie producer, the accusations were proven true and are indeed deeply disturbing. They reveal a culture of temping young women into the producer���s lair through vague promises of fame and fortune. This was facilitated through the actions of various handlers, who worked on behalf of Weinstein to ensure a steady supply of feminine talent continued to enter the pipeline. And if any of the victims showed signs of blowing the whistle on the brute, another dark force of lawyers and bullies descended to ensure any such complaints never saw the light of day. This pattern of abuse apparently continued for years, and due to the producer���s fame and influence, it remained an open secret among even those highly placed in the industry. Finally, after perhaps as many as 80 women submitted detailed and corroborating evidence of his abuse and harassment, he was brought down. 

That was a watershed moment. Since then, at least 200 powerful men from all sectors of the economy have had their names besmirched and or their careers ruined by such allegations. But initially, the voracity of such allegations seems to be of secondary importance to the revelation that someone felt in some way harmed by the accused. The phenomenon of ���trial by media��� has played a major role in how quickly men go from being named a harasser to being dethroned and for ever after considered a pariah. 

Further charging the potency of this movement is the shaming of anyone who dares to cast doubt on such accusations. We are admonished to toss aside any notions of accusers being motivated by fame or profit, even though effective media campaigns and or legal actions can result in fantastic payouts for those willing to cry foul. 

That is not to say that influential men are never inclined to use their power in nefarious ways. Lord Acton indeed hit upon a truth about the human condition, when he opined ���Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely���. This therefore would tend to suggest that many accusations of misconduct on the part of men are indeed true, or at least, mostly so. And certainly, where women encounter disrespect, inequality, threats and actual harassment, action should be taken to educate men and if necessary, enforce standards of conduct. But as is so often the case, the pendulum may have once again swung too far in an effort to achieve equanimity. When and where anyone���s reputation and livelihood is at stake, shouldn���t all efforts be made to establish facts and determine the degree of culpability before an assumption of absolute guilt is established?

There is a phenomenon in psychology known as ���suggestion���, whereby an impressionable individual may be exposed to innuendo and gossip about a person or persons wrongdoing, whereupon they begin to internalize it as fact. Furthermore, if those promulgating such allegations claim to have been harmed in some way by the accused, they may begin to influence others to believe that they have been similarly impacted. Is it possible that it is this very phenomenon that seems to always cause additional victims to emerge from the woodwork each time a man is accused of overplaying his hand with the women in his sphere of influence? 

Here are some additional questions:

��� Have we become so insular, so fearful and as a result, so easily influenced by the constant chatter emanating from our electronic devices, that we have inadvertently begun to abandon independent thought?  

��� When did being perceived as ���vaguely inappropriate��� rise to the level of a shame worthy transgression? 

��� And how might these new unwritten rules go on to alter the ways by which men and women coexist and communicate in the workplace and elsewhere?

Let���s take the most recent news story about Vice President Joe Biden. Throughout his career, politicians on both sides of the aisle saw Joe as a decent human being, though they might be diametrically opposed to his political views. Men and women from every cultural and political persuasion grieved with him through the loss of his son and have marveled at his continuing resolve to stay focused on public service. In response to the growing disillusionment over our current president, many have suggested Mr. Biden is the sort of principled, humane, paternalistic figure we need at the helm again. Someone who may be capable of returning our country to a position of enlightened leadership. As such, Mr. Biden has recently been dogged by questions from the media about whether and when he may decide to make a run for the democratic ticket in 2020. This has forced him out of the shadows and into the limelight, just as the first allegations of ���inappropriate touching��� were levied by a woman who suggests she was traumatized by his having kissed her on the scalp. 

Lucy Flores, a one-time nominee for Nevada lieutenant Governor, stated that the incident in question took place at a rally for her campaign in 2014.

She was grateful that he offered to make an appearance at her event. But, as an excerpt from the Washington Post states: ���That feeling changed, she said, when Biden approached her from behind as she was getting ready to address the crowd. She wrote that she felt the vice president place two hands on her shoulders before moving closer to her from behind. Then, she says, Biden kissed her on the back of her head. He proceeded to plant a big slow kiss on the back of my head. My brain couldn���t process what was happening. I was embarrassed. I was shocked. I was confused���. She is clear that this was not a sexually charged encounter, but rather one that was ���blatantly inappropriate���, according to her.

In response, Biden posted a Twitter video, where in he attempts to address this vague allegation by correctly pointing out that the notions of personal space have shifted over time and that what used to be considered supportive, reassuring and affectionate is now viewed by many as an unwelcome invasion. 

There are most certainly bad actors out there who take advantage of those under their influence. But are we not in danger of throwing the baby out with the bathwater when we indiscriminately accuse even our most decent and enlightened leaders of stepping over some fuzzy line that is clearly not sexual, but still vaguely inappropriate? And when did this hypersensitivity arise? A recent survey finds major shift in attitudes about what women consider unacceptable. A large percentage of young women would now find commenting positively on their appearance or asking for a date more than once to be a form of sexual harassment. So how are average men supposed to respond to this new paradigm? Their actions and motives have never been under more scrutiny and as a result, when opening up with each other about the challenges of working in close proximity to women, they���re confused and frankly scared that a poorly a received look, comment or gesture might get them fired or even cause them to be named in a sexual harassment lawsuit. 

We have laws to address sexual harassment in the workplace and elsewhere. And where those laws are clearly broken, prosecution should be swift and consistent. But when someone decides to go public with their subjective impression of inappropriate touching or speech, that accusation should not immediately be considered, criminal or even actionable. We have a system of justice in Western society that assumes the accused to be innocent until proven guilty. Why are we so quick to suspend that right to due process when someone alleges only that they feel their unique personal boundaries have been exceeded?

Such a rush to judgement runs the risk of filling the harassment balloon so full that it bursts under the pressure and the consequences of that are unpredictable. When an oversensitive minority of individuals begin to redefine everything as harassment that may have the counterintuitive effect of making all such claims seem less credible.

How has this new paradigm affected dating?

This shift in attitudes about what speech or actions may be tolerated between men and women is clearly having an affect on dating as well. Men are now concerned that their expressions about a woman���s attractiveness may be interpreted as overtly sexual. They���re reluctant to be demonstrative with affection and anxious about how early is too early to lean in for a kiss. No man wants to be labeled as creepy, or worse���a predator.

["Biology has burdened males with the responsibility to initiate any potential romantic connection. And as a man I can tell you, it���s rarely fun."]

So let���s step back a minute and remember how we all got here. Sex. If Freud is to be believed, sex is unconsciously the motive behind many decisions both men and women make every day. And like it or not, biology has burdened males with the responsibility to initiate any potential romantic connection. And as a man I can tell you, it���s rarely fun. It���s uncomfortable and sometimes downright scary to run the risk of rejection. The result of all that doubt and fear is often a jerky, awkward attempt to appear cool or nonchalant. This nervousness is probably contagious and may serve to repulse more than attract. And if men begin to feel that they may not only face rejection but potentially run the risk of public rebuke or legal action as a result of anything they may say or do, women may no longer have to wonder why it is men seem unwilling to approach them, choosing instead, to admire them quietly from afar. 

Remember, the law of unintended consequences is always there, threatening to undermine even our best intentions. 

-Shane Eric Mathias

In my study of and writings on life satisfaction, I have sought to empower myself and others with strategies that can increase our likelihood of attaining what I call Sustainable Happiness.

As I point out in my book ���The Happiness Tree���, happiness is a multifaceted gem that requires the blending of various strategies to create and sustain it. Examples are Health, Creativity, Curiosity, Wonder, Self Mastery and Integrity, among others. One element I never considered was Luck. Precisely because I deemed luck to not be a strategy but rather something capricious that is beyond our control. But a concept that was recently revealed to me is altering my thinking on that.

Is luck really a random, one-off event?
Or a process of placing yourself in the flow of opportunity?

In a recent TED talk I listened to, led by Dr. Tina Seelig, a Professor in the Department of Management, Science and Engineering (MS&E) at Stanford University, I learned of her work in the area of Luck and what seems to make some people luckier than others.

She starts out by explaining the accepted definition of luck, which is: Success or failure apparently caused by chance. And as she points out, chance is the operative word here. Many people determine luck to be a matter of chance and furthermore, that luck seems to favor some people more than others. But if chance were really the driving force behind luck wouldn���t the distribution of these random good fortunes be more equitably distributed? Is a lucky person more���well, just more lucky? Or is there actually some process at work behind the scenes? And if so, how can we uncover this ���secret knowledge and use it to increase our likelihood of being lucky?

So What is Luck Anyway?

No, I'm not advocating that we begin a pointless intellectual exercise. I truly believe it is useful to try to deconstruct what luck really is and whether it can be captured or harnessed to increase our success. This is where metaphors become useful in helping us get our head around the physics of luck. Dr. Seelig says that most of us imagine luck to be like lightning, striking here and there with no discernible or predictable pattern. But she views luck more like the wind, circulating around us all the time. And as we know, the wind can be harnessed, as it is in a sailing vessel. That is why she compels us to imagine ourselves raising a large sail to capture the luck that swirls around us.

What does this sail look like and how can we interpret this metaphor in practical terms that inspire different success building actions? To answer this question, I harken back to the ancient traditions of mature cultures, like those found in Asia. In many Eastern philosophies, the concept of Karma is central to leading a successful life. And while it is a complex term, with many different interpretations, there is one central tenant: Cause and Effect. Good actions beget good outcomes and bad actions��� well, you get the picture. And while it may seem that the concept of Karma was dreamed up by religious leaders as a strategy to maintain social order, its reasoning actually embodies some essential truths about the nature of luck.

Dr. Seelig points out three strategies that we can practice to harness the power of luck, (or cause and effect) and use it to our advantage.

1. Change Your Relationship to Yourself - It is common for us to recognize and marvel at the wisdom of children and how their curiosity, wonder, openness and experimentation helps them learn and develop. Dr. Seelig defines this as the willingness to take small risks. Learning to walk involves risk. Playing with other children involves risk. And yet, children often dive right in, not deterred by the possibility of failure. Yet, as adults, we are far more tentative and self-protective. And while weighing the odds of success or failure is a necessary strategy in the navigation of our complex adult lives, when it stifles our willingness to reach beyond our comfort zone, it trims our sail and limits our ability to capture the winds of good fortune.

Dr. Seelig recalls how beginning a conversation with a stranger, who happened to be a publisher, sitting next to her on a plane eventually resulted in the publishing of her book, which sold over a million copies. But upon hearing that anecdote out of context, one might assume only pure luck or some other modifying factor was at play. That is why she goes on to explain that he initially rejected her manuscript for publication. Yet, in spite of this, she continued to build on this connection, maintaining contact with the gentleman, taking opportunities to share her work and passions with him and his colleagues. Eventually, her work landed in front of the right eyes and shortly after, she was a published author. Was it luck that her airline seat happened to be right next to a publisher? Indeed it was. But if she had not taken a small risk and began a conversation with him, then maintained contact, that seed of success would never have germinated.

2. Change Your Relationship to Others -In Sonya Sotomayor���s speech to NYU graduates, she admonished her audience to ���Remember, that no one succeeds alone���. Every success story involves the contributions of others along the way. And if you don���t acknowledge these gestures, no matter how small, you may be inadvertently burning important bridges to your future success. Dr.Seelig revealed one of her strategies for maintaining gratitude and demonstrating her appreciation. She goes through her calendar at the end of each day and jots down the name of each person she met with. She then sends each of them a note thanking them for their time and consideration. She reveals that this simple exercise lets others know that their involvement made a difference.

3. Change Your Relationship to Ideas - Most people pigeonhole ideas into one of two camps immediately��� either good or bad. But it is actually much more nuanced than that. Prof. Seelig states that hidden within the seeds of bad ideas are often something truly remarkable. And she goes on to maintain that many of the products or services we now think of as innovative or successful, started out as what many might have considered bad ideas.

To that I would add that luck is often the narrowing of options that ultimately leads you in a different direction. One of the self-inflicted challenges most of us face on the road to achieving a goal is the reluctance to define success more broadly. We fix our gaze on one narrowly defined destination and never take the time to consider the importance of what we might discover or accomplish along the way. History is replete with stories of inventors and average people who set out to create or discover one thing and ended up achieving something quite unexpected. Here are a couple of examples:

In 1856, a teenage Chemistry student named William Perkins was working to create an artificial quinine to treat malaria. Though it was unsuccessful, over the course of his experimenting with tree bark and coal tar, he discovered a new color in the residue, which came to be called Mauve. Perkins isolated the color and would go on to create the world's first synthetic dye. 

Before it was used as a children���s clay, Play-Doh was a compound created by a company called Kutol Products to be a cleaning treatment for filthy wallpaper. But the product failed to sell much until schoolchildren began using it for arts and crafts projects and to create Christmas ornaments. By removing the compound's cleanser and adding colors and a fresh scent, Kutol spun their wallpaper saver into one of the most iconic toys of all time ��� and brought mega-success to a company headed for bankruptcy.

Allow your definition of success to be more elastic.

You may not be attempting to set the world on fire with a new invention. You may be attempting only to improve your life, whether through better relationships, or more satisfying work, etc. But any change requires you to take some risk. And risk is like raising that sail we discussed earlier, even a little bit. Without it, your position in the ocean of possibilities cannot change. To further exploit the metaphor, setting sail can indeed cause you to drift in a direction different from your perceived destination. And that���s not always a bad thing. Don���t underestimate the role of serendipity in your journey toward a goal and be willing to embrace a more elastic definition of success. You may end up arriving at a destination far better than the one you set sail for in the first place.

-Shane Eric Mathias

It was September 11. 1977. A new company named Atari came out with the first home based video game console called the Atari VCS (Video Computer System). This was later renamed the Atari 2600. Prior to this, video games were only available in arcades or as novelty items in bars, restaurants and bowling alleys. But now that a household could easily turn their television into a computer monitor, children and adults left behind old family pastimes like Frisbee, Marco Polo, tag football, cards, Monopoly and checkers, which promoted exercise, personal engagement with others, in favor of being mesmerized by moving dots on a screen. 

I remember coming to family gatherings such as Christmas or Thanksgiving, which were attended by not only our nuclear family, but older folks, grandmothers, aunts and uncles that by virtue of geography or gerontology, were seen infrequently. When they arrived, their primary interest was to see and interact with the youngest members of the family. To see how they'd grown, discuss their evolving interests and hopefully, pass along some hard won wisdom as a legacy to future generations. But once that console was installed, those conversations ceased to exist. The children would barely look up at their elders, begrudgingly tolerating a kiss on the cheek before returning their laser focus to that all important game. 

Parents would attempt to admonish their children "Say hello to Aunt Mabel" or "Put that thing down and visit with your Grandma!" But to no avail. The addiction was all consuming and we didn't even recognize this as a watershed moment and what it portended for the future of humanity. 

Those games became more sophisticated and migrated from the television screen to a new device called a computer. Then came cell phones, which were initially intended only to free us from the telephone appliance on the wall or desk. But eventually they began to incorporate other features, such as calculators, calendars, alarms and of course, games, for those long waits a the bus stop or to pass time on the commode. 

The computer and the cell phone continued to evolve separately, to become ever more important components of modern life. Then, on January 2, 2007, at the MacWorld Convention, Steve Jobs of Apple announced the introduction of the iPhone. With this device, one could have all or most of the benefits of a computer and a phone in one hand-held miracle. The positive and negative impact that this pivotal development has had on humanity is still being digested and calculated. But it must be emphasized that hand held digital devices have become the most ubiquitous and under-appreciated addiction plaguing society today. As a result, our societies  have become less social, less physically active, more depressed, more suicidal and less literate than at any time since the industrial revolution. 

Granted, access to information and the ability to connect with persons across the globe has transformed education, business and social intercourse. But information is not knowledge and connection is not necessarily communication; texting is not writing and receiving sound bytes is not reading. 

The Overall Impact on Children is Negative

In the era before cell phones, groups of kids heading to and from school, in malls, theme parks and neighborhood events could be seen in groups, laughing, goofing off and actually talking to each other. Now, after hand held devices have become as common as backpacks, kids walk alone, or in pairs. But rather than talking to each other, they saunter with their heads down, psychically linked with whatever is appearing on the screen of their phone. More than likely, its Facebook, Snapchat or some other social media application. 

Honestly, these applications should be renamed "Anti-Social Media". Not only because of their seductive and divisive influence on developing minds, but because they are so often used to disrespect, shame, bully and isolate youngsters. Certainly, bullying and spreading rumors between classmates is nothing new. Childhood is full of painful and difficult lessons regarding the cruelty of people toward each other. But when a lie, a shameful statement or a hurtful impression about an individual is sent with surgical precision to all of his or her friends, with the click of a button, that is a weapon that delivers a sometimes deadly blow to the self esteem and fragile confidence of a vulnerable child. 

Suicides Far Too Common in Children. Is Social Media to Blame?

Suicides are always a tragedy, but especially when they occur in children. From the years 1999-2015, one child under 13 died from suicide every 5 days on average or about 13 per 100,000 children. The stats are also not good for adolescents from 13-17 years of age, with 7 per 100,000 dying during that same study period. 

Now certainly not all of these tragic events can be traced to computers, phones and social media, but the spike does conspicuously correlate with the rise in popularity of these devices and their associated apps. Take note that while still unacceptable, the rates for more mature children is half of that for those under 13. This would suggest an intellectual development in this age group, providing more tools with which to diffuse the impact of bullying or shaming on social media. It may also suggest a reduction in these incidents, given more involvement in extracurricular activities, such as sports, scouting and academic endeavors. 

The Impact on Society is Mixed

One of the intuitive assumptions about the proliferation of digital technology is that it would "bring the world together". Nonetheless, racial and ethnic tensions still rage in many developed and underdeveloped societies and the already topsy turvy world of politics and industry has become even more so with the revelation that rogue governments and hackers are are using digital conduits and social media to hack into our increasingly cyber based information infrastructures and voting systems.

These nefarious entities are even creating fake accounts on Twitter and Facebook to sew divisions in the electorate, potentially influencing the political leanings of the undecided and hardening the resolve of those on the fringes of the political spectrum. 

Furthermore, Airlines, Entertainment companies, Utilities, and entire municipal governments have had their operations grind to a halt when hackers successfully gained access to their files and operating systems. Sometimes these breaches were used to extort money from the entities involved, who in most cases, were forced to pay a ransom to regain their files. Other such events may be even more troubling, suggesting the involvement of disruptive governments, targeting states or companies that do not align with their political objectives.

I suppose this could be the digital equivalent of sending anthrax (a deadly biological poison), in a letter addressed to a government official or industry leader. There is certainly no perfect system or one in which all the security gaps can be patched or controlled. But there is far more we can do as a society to influence the impact of digital technology on all of our citizens and critical operations. 

We Need a General Intervention

The term "intervention" was co-opted during the drug-addled 70's to describe when friends and family would gather secretly to gang up on and hopefully force a loved one to confront and deal with his or her addiction to a substance or relationship. And as we careen headlong into an increasingly automated and digitized future, we must begin to deal with the the known and still unknown effects of inserting technology into virtually every aspect of our daily lives.

Science has studied the disease of addiction in the human mind for the purpose of helping those afflicted learn to manage their cravings and impulses. But for a very different reason, technology developers have also probed deep into the collective psyche of Humanity to understand how to use addiction as a tool to make their devices and applications seem indispensable.

If you were to take cigarettes away from a smoker for even a few hours, a series of predictable responses would set in. Some psychological and some physical. These response by an addict to the denial of an addictive substance, relationship or activity is called "withdrawal". The same dependency can be seen in those who've bonded to their device or to the habit of checking their Facebook account a dozen times an hour for an example. When an idea or a product can be so seductive, so alluring that its users cannot get enough, it can then be used to "mainline" all kinds of advertising and propaganda right past our filters, directly into our subconscious, where it has the potential to alter the way we think, speak and act. 

This is what is alleged to have happened during our most recent Presidential election. Offshore hackers, probably supported by State sponsors began using the "virtual reality" of apps like Facebook and Twitter to gain access to the thought centers of vulnerable users, causing them to not even question the validity or authenticity of what they read or saw. Those who read these postings would then resend or repost them to their friends and followers. These successive waves of duplications and reiterations employed techniques originally engineered by media gurus to quickly and effectively influence the behaviors of millions of people, with the click of a mouse or a keypad. This may have in fact been the key factor in the underground tsunami that swept a most unlikely candidate (Donald Trump), into office. Even the most seasoned campaign watchers were caught with their pants down when it was announced he had eclipsed Hilary Clinton: A far more experienced, albeit ethically troubled candidate. 

Whether you support the result of our election or not is irrelevant to this discussion. What is at stake is the methods by which minds may have been changed and outcomes may have been altered. Not through conventional means, such as individuals physically coming together in a town hall meeting or restaurant or to discuss their views and air their differences, but rather through the hijacking of our very minds for the purpose of seeding dissent among us. Do we really want to be used as pawns to further the causes of ideological entities that have no real interest in our prosperity or happiness?

Bringing it All Together

The cover of Juliet B. Schor's book "Born to Buy", begs the question, what can be done to preserve the integrity and sanctity of our minds and those of our children from the onslaught of marketers, demagogues and fanatics? How can we preserve the majesty of human consciousness rather than offering it up as a virtual billboard to the highest bidder?

By beginning to recognize what we have bought into. Under the guise of convenience, enhancement of communication and access to a global audience, we've exposed our most precious resource: Our Minds, and made them vulnerable to dominance by those whose only interest is the selling of an idea or a product.

And the youngest among us are those most at risk. It takes many years of sculpting, refining and nurturing to help a child become a successful adult. If we allow technology to usurp the role of parents, families and academic institutions, entire generations may be unable to make a decision or have a conversation without the assistance of their essential devise or application.

Will the concept of independent thought be relegated to a quaint notion from the past? If so, how will humanity distinguish between love and hate, good and bad, right and wrong? Are we doomed to follow whatever our phones tell us to do? Sadly, many children ended their lives when compelled to do so, via their phones, by their so called "Facebook friends". 

Here are some suggestions that may help to defend us
and our future from the steamroller of technology:

���Restrict children's access to phones and social media applications 
While it is true that parents now depend on phones to keep them connected with their kids during the day, in what seems like a world far more threatening to children, that does not necessarily need to include internet access.

Stress to children that the phone is for emergency use only and is not a toy. Nor is it to be used to call friends during school hours. Cell phone options can be easily customized by parents to include only the features you want your children to have and to exclude the ones you don't

��� Make sure a child's computer is used for school work and not to access social media
You must insist that the computer is a tool to research and complete homework assignments. Be sure that you have administrative control over what is viewed and downloaded to that device and that you can access and review it at any time. If unwanted applications are found or internet history reveals visits to "restricted sites", there must be consequences.

Unfortunately constant surveillance is required to protect tender minds from the corrupting influence of social media. 

��� Spend time with your child learning on the computer.
Rather than using the computer as a babysitter, spend time with your child using the computer as a teaching tool. Help them learn to access the positive attributes of the world wide web, rather than the darker ones they are likely to be drawn to. Watch animal videos, read children's stories from e-books, play games together that promote shared experiences rather than solitary ones. 

���Take inventory of your own computer and cell phone use
When you're around children, ensure you're not setting a bad example by allowing phone calls and texts to rob you of precious time together. Children may initially become angry at and frustrated by parents who prioritize time on the phone over time together. But later, they will model that behavior and throw it in your face if you admonish them to be more considerate. 

��� Subject matter and duration of video games must be monitored.
Many computer games now incorporate sophisticated graphics that mimic real life. The most popular games unfortunately involve violence and even killing. The young person's mind is very vulnerable to being programmed by real and imagined events occurring around them. And while there is not yet a consensus on the role war based video games may play in the promotion of violent thoughts and behaviors, even a small chance that your child becomes numb to the suffering of others is too great a risk to take. 

��� The greatest antidote to the temptation of virtual reality is Nature. 

The Natural world will always be cool!
The boundless creativity, mystery, beauty and sensory stimulation available exceeds anything that will ever be experienced in the virtual world.

Start early to expose children to nature. No matter where you live, even in the inner city, Nature's opportunities to intrigue and engage begin just beyond your doorstep. Birds, bugs, rocks, plants, rain, snow, sunsets, clouds, oceans and lunar eclipses, to say nothing of the science that struggles to understand and explain it all.

 ---It is important that a child understands:
The real world is not made up of pixels and bytes ---

Assemble a small garden. Even if it's on a balcony and get them involved in managing it. They will see for themselves that caring for something really can produce amazing results. Read books on Nature together; watch science programs, go on field trips. Heck, you might even learn something yourself.

It is important that a child understand that the world is not really made up of pixels and bytes, videos and emoticons, but rather is a magical and profoundly fascinating place that he or she can retreat to when the din of humanity exceeds their tolerance.

Nature is the TRUE REALITY not the virtual kind. And understanding the difference provides a child with a much broader knowledge base from which to find answers to inevitable questions like "Why do I exist?" and "What is my purpose?" 

When the digital world frustrates and disappoints, as it does, repeatedly, knowing that there is a REAL world that is honest, authentic, compassionate and ever-lasting will be a source of great solace. 

-Shane Eric Mathias

Children learn more by example than from the spoken word. It would be difficult to communicate to a child, who has no previous relationship experience the concepts of respect, freedom of expression, shared values, support, etc. But, interestingly, they can understand when those qualities are lacking in their parents, even if they cannot articulate exactly what is wrong or how they know it to be so.

Therefore, those who have children or are in a position to influence them and who care about their intellectual and emotional development, need to examine their own relationships and how those not only determine the course of their own lives, but how they set either a positive or negative example for the young, impressionable minds in their midst.

One unfortunate side effect of a child's miraculous learning ability is that even when they observe cruel, abusive or anti-social behavior and recognize it as wrong, they nonetheless begin to lay down patterns in their own developing mind that may cause them to later replicate those behaviors. This sets up the adolescent or young adult for emotional and relational problems down the road. He may engage in bad behavior, knowing its wrong and only later admonish himself for it��� "Why did I do that?"

His core being, the intrinsic self, arrives prewired with the "Golden Rule" as the archetype for successful relations, nonetheless he cannot seem to control his impulses. The imprinting and patterning of his childhood becomes so deeply embedded in his developing mind, that as an adult, he finds within himself a stranger, someone he does not like and cannot understand. This ambivalence is at the core of much adolescent and young adult angst, leading to toxic attachments that in some way resemble relationships from their dysfunctional childhood, laying the groundwork for potential drug abuse or other forms of self harm. 

It may take many years for the individual to unravel and correct the complex web of learned behaviors, internal stories and dysfunctional patterns that has led to their inability to bond successfully to self and others.

How Can Adults Excel at Helping Children Build Successful Relationships?

Teach children by example. Examine your own behavior and relationships. Understand that by exposing children to irrational drama, emotional friction, abuse and manipulation, we are programming them to act out those behaviors later in their own lives. Though unintentional, this is a cruel thing to do to a young mind.

When one decides to either have children or work closely with them, whether one-on-one or in groups, it must be understood, every word, every action has consequences. Every disingenuous act is setting up a duality in the developing mind of the child observing that behavior. Potentially driving a wedge between their pure, unadulterated soul and the outer self, through which they will one day engage the world.

In Buddhism it has been understood for centuries that we achieve Nirvana through the integration of our inner and outer selves. This may explain how we are naturally drawn to those rare individuals whose persona shines from a deep, tranquil inner core and repulsed by others who present a facade of disorganized and conflicting patterns.

Ultimately, if what we want is to pass along to our children a true faith in themselves, an understanding of healthy boundaries, a sense of integrity, a value for kindness and an ability to create and maintain healthy relationships, then it is incumbent upon us to work towards those qualities in our own lives.

All too often, becoming a parent is the universal impetus for finally getting our life together. 

-Shane Eric Mathias

On the afternoon of Feb. 14th, 2018, when most men are thinking of what card, candy or set of flowers they'll bring to the object of their affection, one man in particular decided this was a good day to bring an AR-15 assault rifle to his school and kill as many children and adults as possible. And due to countless mistakes and cowardice on the part of law enforcement, he succeeded in ending the lives of 17 souls. 

And this is not a crime that rests on the shoulders of only one deranged individual. No. Lawmakers failing to challenge the National Rifle Association's (NRA) goal of making killing machines as accessible as bubble gum and law Enforcement's lack of follow through on signs and statements declaring this monster a clear and present danger to his community made this massacre all but assured. 

To say nothing about the deputies who cowered outside during the melee, failing to do their job to protect the defenseless students, even thought they themselves were armed and most likely would have succeeded in taking out the killer, thereby saving many lives. 

But this problem runs deeper than any one cowardly act or missed signal. As a society, we have a schizophrenic attitude when determining our priorities about guns and children's lives. Those on the Conservative side of the political spectrum have ordained that the rights of unborn children trumps that of women who may attempt to control their future by ending unplanned pregnancies. But those very children can be murdered in their own school and according to that same twisted Conservative logic, that should in no way impede the rights of gun owners to possess the very weapons used in those crimes. Even if it means that more children will surely die.

Who are those aiding and abetting these crimes? Countless politicians who cling frantically to their 2nd Amendment argument, while crying crocodile tears on television each time an institution of learning is turned into a war zone. And gun lobbyists who will stop at nothing to support and represent gun manufacturers, retailers and hunters Will they lose their jobs? Will they go to jail or be publicly shamed on television, in newspapers and across social media? No.

Guns at School vs Sex at Work. Which is a more pressing issue?

At the same time, politicians on both sides of the isle, CEO's and celebrities are being toppled daily. Publicly shamed, and excoriated across all media platforms for failing to curb natural biological urges in the workplace and elsewhere. Indeed, there are extremes that rise to the level of criminal activity, such as those committed by the likes of Harvey Weinstein. But many of these so-called abuses of power or acts of harassment were once accepted as a normal consequence of bringing men and women together under the stressful and socially complex umbrella of the workplace. 

If you doubt or have no knowledge of what I'm saying, you can see the sordid and tempestuous encounters that have always sprung from the collective pressures of work accurately depicted in the artfully crafted series called "Mad Men".

But only recently have many more of these awkward and uninvited advances risen to the level of criminality in the eyes of society. Do these non-life-threatening acts of testosterone driven passion somehow carry a greater potential to shift social consciousness and change laws than the random and senseless killing of children? How is that possible?

Were a science fiction writer to conjure up a story where in a virus altered the collective consciousness of an entire nation and caused them to view unwanted sexual advances as a greater offense than the murder of children, the writer and his or her creation would be panned as garbage or maybe even labeled even nihilistic smut. And yet, this scenario very much resembles the topsy-turvy world we now live in. Sometimes, reality is indeed stranger than fiction.

But this is no joking matter. We had better get our priorities straight in this country. If our children are not safe, then the rights we claim to defend with our guns: To live in a free and open society, will be eroded. We will find ourselves living in a macabre world of our own making. A world in which narrow minded zealots are unwilling to prevent anyone from owning a gun, is a world where criminals and the insane will control our streets and institutions. It has been shown by the recent shooting at the Stoneman Douglas High School in Florida, that having armed officers on school grounds is no guarantee that a mentally disturbed individual with a gun will still have his way. More guns are not the answer!

One day, we may witness a #MeToo movement of men and women who have lost children to gun wielding criminals as successful as that which is now changing attitudes on sexual advances in the workplace. I hope it doesn't come to that. But if the killing of our own children is not enough to get our attention and motivate us to work together to find solutions, I'm not sure what will. 

Startling Statistics

According to ABC News and many other news outlets, as of this writing, there have been 18 school shootings in 2018. Yes, within the 2 month period since the New Year, there have been 18 verified school shootings. Where is the list of heads that have rolled in the halls of government and law enforcement for allowing this trend to continue unabated?

Meanwhile, more than 100 men and one woman have lost their jobs and in many cases had to surrender their entire life's work and careers due to accusations over sexual misconduct, harassment and or even flirting Here is a list.

I am not downplaying the impact on harassment victims at the hands of powerful celebrities, politicians and CEO's. There needed to be a correction in the workplace where those in power, (more often than not, men), have increasingly lorded their influence and coercion over those at their mercy, for the purpose of sexual favors. Making the provision of those favors a condition for continued employment. Individually, there wasn't much a victim could do to stop these abuses. Their complaints were ignored or they were in some way punished for attempting to expose the perpetrator's misdeeds. A tipping point occurred for some reason after the exposure of Harvey Weinstein as a dangerous, serial abuser, with a team of "handlers" to ensure his abuses never saw the light of day and to provide a stream of new exploits to feed his nefarious obsession. 

When will there be a similar tipping point to finally do whatever is necessary to bring media, industry and government together to end this barbaric killing of our children? How can we celebrate our advances in science, medicine and technology and thereby consider ourselves an evolved society, if we cannot even protect our children from being killed in their classrooms? 

Here are some proposals to consider:

Make it illegal to sell guns to anyone under age of 25. 

Not just 21. Research has shown that the human brain is still very much a work in progress well into the 3rd decade of life. Especially for boys and men. The prefrontal cortex, which is involved in risk assessment and decision making is still building interconnections and improving its function. To place or allow to be placed into the hands of a person with an under-developed sense of right and wrong a gun, is to court disaster. 

Punish parents or guardians who whether by intent or ignorance make guns accessible to children that go on to commit crimes where those guns are involved. 

Prior to the shooting, Nikolas Cruz, the perpetrator in the recent Florida shooting that left 17 souls dead, was taken in by Roxanne Deschamps, following the death of his mother from pneumonia. After violent outbursts that required law enforcement intervention, Cruz moved out of the Deschamps home and was taken in by Kim and James Snead. They were aware that he owned guns and that he was adamant about keeping them. They locked those guns up in a safe, presuming they were the only ones with the key to access them. It turned out that Cruz had a spare key and accessed those guns, resulting in the deaths at the Stoneman-Douglas High School on Feb. 14, 2018.

In spite of many worrying outbursts, Instagram posts and run-ins with law enforcement that should have labeled this disturbed young man as a severe threat to his community, not only was nothing done, but the foster parents, the Snead's, claim they had no idea he had this violent streak. Both of these foster parents have jobs requiring a keen intellect and ability to observe and make critical decisions. The husband is an Intelligence Analyst and the wife is a neonatal nurse. How could they be so clueless about this monster living right under their roof? And should they be held partially responsible for these senseless murders? 

Conclusion

This is indeed a complex problem and no one has all the answers. But we had better start asking some hard questions and be willing to take drastic measures to ensure this and future generations of children do not arrive to adulthood with untreated PTSD from having grown up in a society that was unwilling to provide them a safe environment in which to learn. If you think anger and hatred is fueling much of the violence in our society today, just wait! 

-Shane Eric Mathias

Early mornings are like an avian highway out here in East San Diego County. We are lucky to be at the intersection of two major diverse bird populations: Those that inhabit the coastal environs to the West and others that make their home in the mountains and deserts to the East.

Hummingbirds are the first morning visitors. They are the smallest and feistiest of all birds. Like opposing magnets, they cannot stand to be in proximity to one another without battling for territory. And that territory includes our very popular bird bath and fountain, which is within view of our kitchen and reading room. They crave not only water to drink, but like also a morning dip. Yet due to their diminutive stature, Hummingbirds cannot afford to immerse themselves in the pool. Instead, they hover over the fountain and hang their body in the stream, dipping periodically to drag their lower extremities over the surface.

Several times, out of a desire to experience a different sound or appearance, I have changed the way the water flows in the fountain. And each time, for a few days after, they struggle to complete their morning ritual. But soon, they learn and find new ways to accomplish the task. They clearly possess the ability to adapt and innovate. 

Fountain antics continue as the sun rises. Drops of gold begin falling in and around the water. as the gold finch and the yellow rumped warbler make their morning appearance. They too like to start the day with a fresh dip in the pool.

On most mornings, you'll find me sitting in the back yard with my coffee, only feet from the fountain observing them. For a moment they are taken aback by my presence, then quickly they surmise I'm probably not a threat and begin frolicking in the water. Though I couldn't catch them even if I wanted to, they remain tentative, frequently glancing in my direction as they bathe. This is the closest to trust as I can ever hope to achieve with these timid creatures.

The Towhee is also a frequent visitor and he, or she, usually comes with a friend or mate. They are the clowns that illicit my first laugh of the day. They're always in a hurry, as if they have a long list of yards to visit and find themselves far behind schedule. They hop and dance, run and flutter just above the ground. Sometimes going aloft for a few feet, then skidding back to the ground, with their little legs extended in braking mode. 

Hawks like the Red Shouldered and the Cooper's Hawk also drop in, but much less often. They can usually be seen soaring above the yard during migration or mating times, or when they have young to feed. Their gorgeous plumages and piercing eyes are mesmerizing, made all more supernatural when considering the stealth by which they evade my gaze until just before an attack. They are experts at their craft. I have seen them catch small birds in mid-air, clasping their talons between an unlucky sparrow's wings and body, carrying them off with a silent, aerodynamic glide. I once awoke to one perched on a hay bale on my back slope, gorging himself on what I presumed was our one of our favorite avian residents. My suspicions were confirmed when our mockingbird's mellifluous melody was suddenly absent and remained so for the duration of that Spring. 

But by far, my most evocative memory is that of a Roadrunner that appeared out of nowhere one Summer afternoon. He landed on a low wall just outside my window and proceeded to immediately run toward an unsuspecting lizard distracted while bathing in the warm sunlight. The poor reptile didn't have a chance. Before another second had passed, the predator had him in his beak. He began flailing the lizard wildly, up and down, using his neck as a sort of whip to increase the speed. He slammed the helpless victim onto the pavement several times until the life was literally thrashed out of him. Then, with one gulp, down the gullet he went. Lucky for me, the Roadrunner stayed for a time, exploring my patio, thereby allowing me amply opportunity to snap some surreptitious pictures. 

Other perodic visitors include the Black Phoebe, who perches nervously on a top a thin branch, swaying in the wind as he anticipates his next plunge, which usually results in the catching of a tasty insect. Sparrows, Finches, Bluebirds. Orioles, Ravens and the beautiful and shy desert dweller, Phainopepla, (featured). His call sounds like someone whistling to get your attention. On more than one occasion, I've reflexively turned around expecting to discover an unexpected guest standing at my door, only to realize I was once again duped by this dark and secretive little visitor.

I've often speculated what it is about birds that makes them so universally loved. I've settled on several unique characteristics that endear them to us such that they have woven their presence into our art, literature and folk tales from the beginning of recorded history.

 - They have the ability to appear and disappear without notice. The magic of flight allows them to easily breach natural and man-made barriers that deter or repel other creatures. As such, pagan communities in ancient days began relating their sudden presence to the foretelling of significant events in the lives of those that witnessed their arrival.

For an example: In India, the incessant cawing of a crow might portend a visitor. Upon receiving this foresight, a family would prepare extra food in anticipation of welcoming their guest. In early Hebrew writings, the Tree of Life bares all the souls that have ever or will ever exist and only the Sparrow can see the souls descending in the the flesh of Humanity. It is that joyous event that causes the sparrow to sing. But one day-as the myth details-the Tree of Life will have produced its last soul, after which birds will cease their song. This was described to be one of the 7 ominous signs of an impending Apocalypse. 

Their appearance and disappearance corresponds with the changing of the seasons. Even in the midst of all our technology, we can still see ancient patterns playing out around us all the time. Spring brings new growth, flowers, pollination by birds, bees and butterflies. Summer hastens the ripening of fruit, which is subsequently gathered in preparation for fall wines, jams and pies. Fall and Winter too have their unique character, which may be more or less apparent, depending on the climate where you live. Birds respond to these seasonal signals, often migrating thousands of miles to warmer or colder climes in search of food and or optimal breeding habitat.

I can see and hear these patterns from my kitchen window. The appearance and the song of the White Crowned Sparrow signals the return of Fall. Hawks also appear in rare flocks overhead in response to Autumnal urges. The Bluebird and Oriole return for Summer nesting habitat. Their colorful plumage, a stark counterpoint to the reds and greens so prevalent in a summer garden. 

The songbird lays down an audible tapestry which help to define a sense of place. One of my favorite activities when traveling is to listen for and attempt to identify the birds I find there. If their songs are substantially different from those I hear at home, I know I'll most likely be adding a new bird to my life list. I don't actually have a written account of all the birds I've seen over the years, but I make a mental note of the locale, the color, the shape and song of each new species. I find this to be a great way to recall my visceral experience of a place, adding an additional layer of complexity to its flavor. Much like experiencing a fine wine with all of it commensurate and unique nuances. 

Bird Watcher or Nature Lover? Is there a difference?

Casual observers passing by a group of bird watchers (or birders, as they are often derisively called), may assume they are a group of nerds that have chosen to focus their propensity for detail and minutia on the poor birds, who just want to be left alone to behave as Nature intended. And there may be a grain of truth to this characterization. But there is much more that can be gleaned by noticing the birds that are almost always in your midst, regardless of where you live: They are the epitome and the expression of wildness in your own backyard; the conduits through which you can strengthen your connection to unseen forces that keep our planet and indeed all of creation running like a Swiss watch. The tides, cycles of weather, seasonal shifts, the blooming and recycling of plants, indeed the beating of your own heart are not unlike the observable patterns of birds, dancing on the rhythms of Nature, bringing beauty, serenity and as sense of wonder to our often busy and challenging lives. 

-Shane Eric Mathias

BY ABUSING POWER WOMEN PLAY THEIR OWN NEFARIOUS ROLE IN CREATING AND PERPETUATING A SEXUALLY CHARGED WORKPLACE.

Yes, I know, that seems like the pot calling the kettle black. I know that many, if not most of you reading this feel that by virtue of the gender roles involved, that sexual abuse of a male, by a female, is by definition, ���impossible���, unless of course it is perpetrated on a child. But, I am talking about adults.

Let���s examine those roles for a minute. Whether you���re a man or woman. you may feel that you were put on this earth for some lofty purpose. Perhaps to help others, to move humanity forward through innovation, or to solve environmental problems, write compelling media, or whatever. And while that may be important on the human scale, in the larger scheme of Nature���s long-term strategy, you have one purpose and one purpose only: To procreate. To perpetuate the species. And how is that accomplished? Get ready. There���s going to be a disturbing word here���..SEX!!

If you doubt my assessment of our true purpose in our planet���s complicated drama, consider how Nature imbues us with all the resources necessary to propel and support the production of offspring, during our child-bearing years through the power of our hormones. In women, this makes for soft hair, smooth, shiny skin and, breasts that are full and round. Even the menstrual cycle, which is an annoyance for many women, is a monthly reminder that contained within them is the ebb and flow of creation itself. In men, testosterone levels rise and peak years and sex is a constant preoccupation. Spontaneous erections occur day and night, as every thought and behavior seems to emanate from a desire for or expectation of an intimate rendezvous.

In adolescence, the dance of love and sex are on full display, as young bodies and minds experiment with their respective powers of attraction and persuasion. Young men may build their bodies to impress women with their strength and prowess. Women may dress to reveal their feminine attributes, seeking to gain attention through sensual stimulation: Appearance, scent, tone of voice, etc. Most of us accept this dance as a rite of passage into adulthood. A temporary insanity that hopefully leads to lasting satisfaction through marriage and family.

But in reality, this dance never stops, it just becomes more complicated. And when less than subtle and unwelcome advances or sexual references are made by men, toward women it leads to discomfort in a workplace that is increasingly a melting pot of genders, cultures and sexual orientations. And after a tipping point like the Weinstein debacle, we now see a firestorm of allegations against men in powerful positions, exerting control over women for the procurement of sex. But this is nothing new, and it would be naive to assume that some combination of legislation, shaming or professional rebuke will bring it all to an end. It may make it less visible for a time, but as always, our baser instincts will eventually rise to the surface and take center stage again.

Where sex is concerned, women enjoy it as much or maybe even more than men do, but they are not driven by it. They can turn it on or off at will, depending on their situation.

Why? The truth is, we are all selfish creatures. We want what we want and we will use any and all resources at our disposal to get it. We know men want sex. Even elderly men, for whom sexual intercourse has become an impossible dream, cannot resist the temptation to turn their head in the presence of an attractive woman. This drive that men have to pursue, to be the tool through which life���s catalyst is disseminated is the most enduring and powerful urge in Nature. It is at the core of our being. The raw, untamable animal that still thrives within us. A fundamental and irrepressible instinct that cannot be sublimated by the thin vail of ���civility���. And toppling successful men from their professional and political thrones will not alter that fact one iota. But this phenomenon of coercing or even abusing others to achieve their goals is not limited to men. Perhaps it is time to ask:

How have women been abusing their power over men for centuries?

This question is conspicuously missing from the discussion of power imbalances between the sexes. And because men are reproached by their peers and society at large if they reveal a fundamental weakness that is being exploited by others, you are not likely to hear much about this side of the gender equation. But that does not mean that its examination has no merit. Indeed it does.

Men, by nature are impulsive. Impulsivity is at what makes them good hunters and warriors. Stopping to think and plan when you���re in the path of a charging rhino is a recipe for disaster. Looking into you���re opponent���s eyes to take inventory of his soul during hand to hand combat can get you killed. So natural selection has programmed men to act first and ask questions later. Their actions are overt and transparent. They ask for what they want, whether verbally or through their actions, their agenda is clear. And where women are concerned, what they want the pleasure of physical contact. And for men in highly stressful and demanding jobs and or positions, this need for stress relief reaches a fever pitch. It begins to feel as if their very survival depends on it. And indeed, it may. History is rife with stories of men in powerful positions, facing impossible challenges, seeking relief and refuge in passionate affairs. Granted, these affairs were most often consensual. But nonetheless, it makes clear that sex is a way for men to diffuse and deal with the sometimes overwhelming challenges that life throws at them.

What do women want?

Women on the other hand have other ways to diffuse their stress. They are, for the most part, more social. Women love to gather in groups, gossip and laugh. Shopping is another satisfying outlet that takes their mind of problems at home or at work. And when we trace this affinity for community and acquisition back to its origins, we can see that it dovetails perfectly with their natural roles as mothers, homemakers and nurturers. Women have gathered together for millennia to care collectively for their infants and children. They may even share their breast milk with another���s the offspring, to maintain the bond between them and ensure the survival of their community or tribe.

Where sex is concerned, women enjoy it as much or maybe even more than men do, but they are not driven by it. They can turn it on or off at will, depending on their situation. What matters to women is security. And what contributes to security? Money, home, status, comfort, popularity, friendship and some level of control over their primary relationships. These are the baser instincts that drive women, as they have from the beginning of time. But women are more patient. They can wait, conspire, manipulate, and cajole to get what they want. And more often than not, the object of these calculations are powerful men. Like it or not, men have, on the whole, held positions of power in society. Their combative, impulsive nature and limitless stamina provide the sheer force to bore through or leap over obstacles. They may choose to not be encumbered by family responsibilities or the rearing of children and they don���t have to deal with a monthly cycle. They are free to focus all their energies on domination. And once they succeed, they become the target of aspiring women. A stepping stone into a life which women feel is unattainable by any other means.

And this is the stage upon which abuse of female power rears its ugly head. In some women, a passive / aggressive strategy begins to form that is so subtle, it is often undetected by men. And that strategy is centered upon appealing to men���s primary achilles heal, their intrinsic weakness. Sex. And this ���baiting���, if we can call it that, can have unpredictable, even dangerous consequences for women, ranging from off color sexual comments to rape. Ironically, if and when this plan backfires, these same women will claim victimhood and assume no responsibility for the result of their actions. They will claim a right to dress or act as they wish, secretly aware that such behavior is very effective at triggering male attention and hence, preferential treatment, This duality of behaving badly and then crying fowl is at the core of the one-sided campaign now being waged against men. Sure, in a perfect world men would keep their impulses under control. But when stress and the presence of female coercion converge, women have an unfair advantage.

And how does this abuse of female power affect men?

I have listened to countless interviews of and complaints by women about how a sexually charged workplace has interfered with their ability to feel comfortable, valued or to advance. And yet, through the use of make up, lipstick, implants, push up bras, plunging necklines, high heels, expensive perfume, sexy outfits and the like, they create what is essentially a sexual sucker punch. Can you image how a man might dress with equal provocation? Imagine an executive coming to work in a leotard, rather than a suit. This garment would be so form fitting that the crack of his ass and the outline of his genitals would be visible. If indeed, a male employee showed up to work dressed like this, he���d be thrown out on his ear.

But women have the latitude to dress as they please. They can dial up the sexual heat through their many avenues of accentuation and it���s rarely challenged.

Add to this, the often subtle and not so subtle cues like suggestive glances, flicking of the hair, or bending over a desk while wearing a low cut blouse. This is tantamount to a tease and the effect of creating tremendous distraction and preoccupation for men. They are simply unable to be in the presence of such provocative visual signals without becoming aroused. And when that arousal causes them to react in inappropriate ways, we blame them for behaving exactly as nature intended. 

Of course most women will not admit to engaging in such provocative behavior. For some, that may be true or they may not be aware of it. But I would bet, if most women, who have suffered unwelcome advances from men in the workplace took inventory of their motives and were honest with themselves, they would find some truth in what I���ve said. 

Now this in no way excuses rape, or forced sexual encounters of any kind. That is violence and exploitation and is not acceptable under any circumstances.

But when a man puts his hand on a woman���s knee, when he touches the small of her back, when he looks perhaps a little too long at a her breasts, or makes sexual references during a dinner outing  this should not be a career ending transgression. The woman involved may want to examine if and how her dress or behavior may have contributed to these unwelcome overtures. If modifications are then made and the behavior continues, perhaps it���s time for a transfer to another job or department. But don���t just march into Human Resources and threaten to sue the company unless they fire this individual. Oh yes, in this politically correct and litigious society we now live, you may indeed succeed in getting him fired, and or in obtaining a sizable settlement from the company. But then don���t go blabbing to about the need for others to act with integrity or to take personal responsibility.

What is the solution?

Let���s just cool down, step back from the precipice and be realistic. Sex is the reason we are all here. It may not always be welcomed, it may not be pretty or pleasant to think about, but it is here to stay. And Nature has placed men in the position of being the pursuers. Can we all agree on that? Women play coy, act uninterested and fein annoyance, but in the end, sometimes a persistent man succeeds in getting the girl. In fact women often say that men give up too easily. In the course of their little act of avoidance, men get the impression they are being rejected and give up. Women are understandably confused by this. They feel ambivalent about what they are supposed to do. If they give in too quickly, they���ll be labeled as ���easy���. If they respond too slowly, guys give up.

For men, this dance is equally confusing and frustrating. For many, work is where the majority of their social interaction takes place. It is where they are likely to meet the greatest concentration of women. And while it may be frowned upon to dabble in romance at the workplace, more people meet their future spouse at work then in all other social settings combined. So there must be a little give and take and mutual empathy for the respective burdens each gender carries in the sexual dance.

Now again, I am not referring to lewd, aggressive, demeaning or threatening behavior. This should never be tolerated under any circumstance.

But as is so often the case with human behavior, we tend to allow the pendulum to swing to the extreme when issues arise and the risk here is that innocent, maybe even awkward, but otherwise well-intentioned behavior will be misconstrued and mislabeled as sexual harassment.

For women, understand that when you ���dress to kill���, you are not only getting attention from other women in the office, (which you may want), but also from men, (which you may not want). It is not an innocuous and innocent enterprise. You are increasing the chances you will receive reactions you may not have intended or desired. If and when this happens, it is not fair to blame only men for lacking self control. You must learn to take responsibility for the waves you set in motion. As Newton described, ���Every action has an equal and opposite reaction���. This applies not only to physics but also to human interaction. And when you play with fire, you are much more likely to get burned.

Shane Eric Mathias

Having just visited this especially beautiful pocket of Northern California, Napa and Sonoma Counties, its bucolic majesty was still fresh in my mind when I heard the first murmurings of a fire in the area. Wildfires are a fact of life in these semi-arid regions of the State, whose meadows and hillsides often grow emerald green with winter rain and then dry out to a tawny brown soon after Spring has bid her farewell. It is just this characteristic velvety brown landscape that provides one important component for a fire to take hold

The local fire stations and volunteer departments are used to these flair ups. And when one happens, it barely makes the local papers or registers a mention on the evening news. The rapid response of these fire fighters almost always achieves the upper hand before homes, livestock or other precious resources are ever threatened.

But on the rare occasions that there is that perfect storm and elemental forces conspire to create a conflagration of horrific proportions, there is little anyone can do but run for their lives. By the time dispatchers sent the first team to knock down the flames that appeared overnight, it was already too late. Building quietly somewhere in a dark canyon and fueled by what residents call ���The Diablo Winds��� once fire had made it to the first ridge, in the wee hours of the morning, it had become a seething, monster, determined to leave only stone and metal in its wake.

It moved so fast, that those in its path barely had time to don a robe, gather the children or elderly parents and beat a hasty retreat through a gauntlet of towering flames. Left behind were all the seemingly indispensable minutia that make up a home: Musical instruments, photo albums, heirlooms from generations past and in so many cases, a sanctuary built through loving plans and hands to safely ride out the golden years.

So many chose this beautiful area for retirement. With countless micro-farms, wineries and specialty restaurants dotting the valleys, foothills and towns, living in the Napa / Sonoma area has always represented a captivating blend of metropolitan and rural amenities. The comfortable pace and lifestyle, friendly atmosphere and proximity to medical centers, universities and the economic powerhouses that are San Francisco and Silicon Valley, gave this region the moniker ���God���s country���. What I always interpreted to mean, ���where God would live, were he (or she), were to ever be in the market���.

Though I now live in Southern California, ironically, what many consider the epicenter of wild infernos, for me, the devastation to the North Bay has left an emotional scar. You see, I once lived there. You might say, I grew up there. Having moved from Los Angeles, in my early twenties, to seek a closer and deeper connection to Nature, I found the environs in which I wished I had spent my childhood. And over the ensuing decades, I came to know it intimately��� better than most.

I brought with me that Southern California affinity for the automobile. And with my trusty steed, I would spend weekends on long excursions, in search of new views, lakes, nurseries, wineries, towns or experiences yet to be discovered. One one such trip, I came across an exotic zoo, tucked away in the uniquely beautiful valley that ascends from the windy Mark West Springs Rd. This road wends its way from Eastern Santa Rosa to Calistoga, passing wineries, farms, aging barns, horse pastures, but mostly, some of the most scenic countryside to be found anywhere. At the intersection of Franz Valley School Rd, can be found Safari West. And on this particular day, while joyriding down the road, I glimpsed a giraffe peeking out over a fence. Now, I have seen many odd things in the North Bay: Creative farmers have experimented with raising emu, lamas, long horned cattle and even bison on these productive pastures. But giraffe?

I made a u-turn and indeed, found a giraffe eager to engage with me. Especially if I tempted her with a clump of fresh grass. Soon, her calf appeared. Her head barely topped the fence, but her eyes seemed to capture all that is mysterious and beautiful in Nature with one glance. I was hooked! And in several weeks, I was working there as a docent. The experiences I had and the memories I made during that incredible summer I will reserve for another day. But suffice it to say, I was more familiar than most with that road, having traveled it many times on my way to and from that little preserve in the hills, North East of Santa Rosa.

It is the same road that I recently took my wife to visit for the first time, as I introduced to her the small part of the universe where I grew into manhood and where I left a piece of my heart. She marveled at the countless doglegs and switchbacks that make this highway so fun to drive. With my trusty 4Runner, I took them as fast as I safely could, giving us both the visceral sensation of centrifugal force as we leaned this way and that, descending ever deeper into the canyon. We imagined coming back some day soon in a rented convertible sports car, dropping the top and feeling the fresh wind in our hair as we inhaled the aroma of oak and pine.

But alas, it is that same oak and pine forest that has now been mostly consumed by the fire. For us, the memory is bittersweet. We feel lucky to have seen it just weeks before it burned, but now we gasp at the thought that it might remain only an image in our minds rather than a place we can actually revisit.

What Is Home

This brings me to the concept I alluded to in the title of this article: Home. What is home anyway? This week and in the weeks and months ahead, I and many thousands will need to wrestle with that question. For those who now live and work in this area and who were recently evacuated to shelters, anxiously awaiting word about their cherished property and belongings, life may be forever changed. The economic realities of the area make it such that it serves as a bedroom community for commuters working in and around San Francisco. By the thousands, each weekday, they wend their way south along the 101, like a red snake in the dawn light, to jobs that are not available above the Sonoma County line. For those who have now lost that home, relocation North or South will probably not be an option. The ensuing calculation will go something like this: Move farther North, to Windsor and Healdsburg, where the commute becomes an impossible barrier? Or, move South, into Marin County, where rents and home prices are beyond the means of all but the most well off? The conundrum has no easy answer. And for those who were uninsured or for whom insurance will not sufficiently compensate their loss, the road back to equilibrium will be long indeed. They may need to move completely out of the area and then struggle to find a new definition of ���Home���, one that will be incomplete at best.

For me, it is less well defined. Napa and Sonoma county, or what is variously called ���The North Bay���, or "Wine Country", was a kind of ���Home��� I returned to in my mind countless times over the preceding decades. While the intrepid residents of this area will no doubt find the strength and vision to rebuild, it will be many decades, (if ever), before the myriad forests, vineyards, wineries and little farms reestablish and bring back the relaxed and timeless character that I recall. It will take a while to resolve the tension between this image in my mind and what may now be the reality. It may indeed be necessary to return and create new memories there, as the land and the people that love it evolve and heal from their ordeal.

Let Us Learn from Others' Misfortune

For the rest of us, let this be a cautionary tale. Our planet and our climate is changing. Whether you believe that or not does not alter the fact. Whether climate change was responsible for this particular tragedy, no one can be sure. One thing we do know however, is that California now has a year-round fire season. There is no part of this state, or frankly our country that is immune to the prospect of a catastrophic inferno. We must not ignore this fact and change our behavior to respond to this new reality.

1. Prepare your home to resist fire's assault. Remove dry or dying vegetation from on and around your property. If an adjoining home is poorly maintained, try to work with the owner to create a mutually beneficial fire-resistant landscape. Cut down trees or shrubs close to the house, that might catch fire and drop embers on roofs or in clogged rain gutters. Also, keep those gutters cleaned.

2. If you have a large property, irrigate the areas close to the home. On that land farther from the house, for which irrigation would be impractical or too expensive, keep weeds mowed, dead trees removed, and fire breaks, such as roads and dry creek beds well managed.

3. Prepare a suitcase with essentials: Clothing, copies of important documents, cash, car keys, water, etc. When and if you have to leave in minutes, there will be no time to gather these things.

4. Have an evacuation plan in place. That may involve rope ladders to escape multi storied units, easy access to well-maintained vehicles, and at least 2 unimpeded avenues of escape.

5. Finally, look around your home. Make sure you have working hoses attached to every spigot. In the event embers are dropping on your roof from some distance away, you may be able to save your property just by dousing those sparks.

That is what Peter Lang did, the owner of Safari West. Somehow, due to his vigilance, ingenuity and sheer determination, he kept his prize Safari West from burning. In fact, this week, a new baby giraffe was born. They called her "Tubbs" after the most massively destructive fire that raged through the area.

If he can do that with his 400+ acres, then the rest of us might have a fighting chance to save our home a well, if and when the unthinkable happens...

...Which is now much less difficult to imagine.

 Mark Reynolds now lives in San Diego, CA with his wife, Tatyana

The following is an excerpt from the synopsis of a new book by Theo E.J. Wilson, a man who could be characterized as a modern day Martin Luther King, Mark Twain and Henry David Thoreau, all wrapped up into one....

And you've probably never heard of him.

"The Law of Action"."Let's be realistic! If staying mentally focused on only what you want were enough to attract it, you���d have it by now.  Although the laws of the mind are powerful tools, there is another side of the equation.  It���s the action factor.  It is the spiritual growth that comes from the doing, even if the doing is hard. There���s an elbow-grease component that is missing from modern metaphysics.   Too often, the teachings of today lack the backbone necessary to be universally applicable.   The fire has gone out of the philosophies, leaving us with a pile of watered down, westernized half-truths.  Quietly, the seekers have begun to rebel, misled by feel-good gurus who promise success for the masses, and deliver only for the few.  Is there a spiritual law that works anywhere in the world, regardless of class or material access?  How do we make sense of the darkness in our world (and in ourselves,) to the gain the understanding to transmute it?  The answer is The Law of Action". - Theo E.J. Wilson

Throughout my book "The Happiness Tree" and on this blog, I have decried the travesty of modern day gurus, false prophets and charlatans hocking the same warmed over psychobabble to generation after generation, promising them that merely wanting something badly enough will cause it to manifest in their lives. But they don't yell this from the rooftops or hand carry leaflets door to door, selflessly passing along their supposed wisdom for the benefit of humanity. NO! They charge exorbitant fees to unlock this "Secret Knowledge", taking advantage of the very people they proclaim they are committed to help.

As an example, it was recently brought to my attention that Lisa Garr, the Emcee of the Aware Show, an online podcast that has operated for over a decade, interviewing leaders in the... shall we say, "New Age Movement", was generously extending to her listeners the following special offer:

She would select 8 people that would work directly with her and gain access to her special insight so that they might be able to manifest their dreams as she had done, lo those many years ago.

And how did she attain this amazing success?

By her own admission, from special mentors in her life, like Wayne Dyer, who sadly for the rest of us, passed recently into the light of infinite spiritual bliss, bless his soul. In her video appeal, selling her amazing opportunity, she looks into the camera with as much conjured compassion as she can muster and reveals to us how she was saved from obscurity by the altruism of Wayne and other movers and shakers, such as Louise Hay, the current reigning Prima Donna of New Age nonsense, who has become a multi-millionaire many times over by publishing and distributing this rubbish to a seriously neurotic audience of sycophants.

I took up the challenge (with a healthy dose of skepticism), to see if I might be lucky enough to receive this blessed assistance from Lisa to further my professional and spiritual aspirations.

On the simple online form, I was asked questions like: (paraphrasing), Tell Us a Little About Yourself; What Special Qualities Might Make You a Good Candidate For Lisa's Program? and finally, What Do You Hope To Get Out Of Your Time With Lisa?

I took my time and tried to be open minded about the process. Digging deep into my consciousness to find kernels of passion and poignancy I could bleed on to the page to gain her attention. When I was finished, I submitted the form and was redirected to a final page that informed me of the following:

Opportunities like this are rare and not free. If selected for Lisa's program, would you be willing and able to make a 5 figure financial commitment to your future?

WTF!!!

50, 60, $70,000 or more? Who knows where it might end? If these people are good at anything, it's stringing along their followers, with promises of even more access to their special brand of bullshit. Once you're in the grasp of their grubby hands, the proverbial "Yellow Brick Road" will always be just over the horizon. 

Okay, enough of my ranting and raving. On to the true prophet and truth seeker of our time. Theo E.J. Wilson.

He has a new book out which clearly describes his motis operandi: "The Law of Action". (Not the Law of Attraction). It is available by clicking on the cover below.

I recently listed to Mr. Wilson giving a TED talk. I was incredibly impressed with his eloquence and poetic delivery. When I looked more deeply into his background, I found that his is indeed a Renaissance Man of many talents. Not the least of which is Poetry. He has received winning accolades at many poetry slam events. I found it impossible look away during his presentation. He is a Force of Nature on the stage, commanding attention and driving his point into the minds of his audience with the subtleness of a velvet Samurai. 

Here is the presentation through which I was introduced to Mr. Wilson. I do hope we are privileged to hear much more from him in the future. I hope he applies his mission to one of the the many critical problems plaguing humanity. We need honest, passionate men and women of integrity to help us pave a road to a brighter, more peaceful, prosperous and sustainable future. 

Now please listen to Mr. Theo E.J Wilson