Gerald Zgabay's Blog: The Sobering Faith Newsletter

This past week felt like the weight of the world was upon us. Each step seemed like pushing a boulder uphill; every interaction, a challenge; every task, an unreachable peak. Who among us hasn’t longed to embark on a 'walkabout'? To cast away our mundane burdens and seek spiritual renewal, much like the Aboriginal rites in Australia?

Amid the mundane eve…

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Life's a wacky rollercoaster, and we pick up lessons from the darnedest places to make the ride more bearable. One gem I've held onto, mostly because I'm still trying to master it, is my father-in-law's classic: "Let the fog roll." I wish "letting the fog roll" was as easy as letting the dough roll, but it comes with practice - and I, for one, could def…

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Sometimes, life's most mundane tasks offer profound insights. As my young son wrestled with a seemingly obstinate mower this week, I was catapulted back into my own memories. The situation mirrored my father's interactions with an uncooperative garden tiller years ago. These repetitive patterns of behavior are humorous and serve as silent reminders. How often do we let our frustrations blind us to the simpler joys around us? Such moments, while trivial in nature, act as the crucible where the essence of gratitude is refined, teaching us to appreciate the oft-ignored blessings.

Gratitude is an emotion, a mindset, and a choice. It's the gentle acknowledgment of the beauty in fleeting moments—the warmth of the morning sun, the joy in a child's laughter, the peace in a friend's comforting words. While some may wear optimism like second nature, for many, it's a learned habit, making gratitude an even more invaluable trait. Considering the conveniences we have, like on-demand running water, evokes deep thankfulness. Our digital age, replete with instant connections and endless knowledge, is another testament to the daily luxuries we inadvertently overlook. Gratitude, thus, isn't just passive acknowledgment; it's an active celebration of the myriad wonders around us.

Like a gardener tenderly nurturing his plants, gratitude too requires nurturing. A journal can be a tangible reminder of life's blessings, big or small. But the realm of gratitude isn't just confined within. It extends outward, a bridge of appreciation connecting us to the world. A mere smile, a kind word, or a silent acknowledgment can create ripples of positivity. As we look inward, a conscious moment of self-affirmation, of genuinely thanking oneself, can lay the cornerstone for external gratitude.

The Bible doesn't merely advocate gratitude—it embodies it. Scriptures weave tales of unwavering faith and gratitude even in the face of adversity. Each verse, each parable, reinforces the notion of God's boundless grace and our ensuing gratitude. By immersing ourselves in these teachings, we fortify our souls, deriving strength from divine love. Our inherent human propensity may gravitate towards yearning, but we pivot towards contentment through gratitude, recognizing the abundance bestowed upon us. Amid life's unpredictable storms, gratitude acts as our anchor, grounding us in God's unwavering promises and love.

Discussion Questions:

How has an active gratitude practice reshaped your daily experiences?

Can you recount a challenging situation where gratitude altered your perspective?

How do you envision imparting the importance of gratitude to future generations?

In today's digital age, how can we utilize technology to enhance our gratitude practice?

What rituals or practices do you incorporate into your daily routine to cultivate gratitude?

Launching The Sobering Faith Community:

Navigating the intricate pathways of faith can be a solitary journey. Recognizing the need for collective wisdom and support, we're thrilled to introduce The Sobering Faith Community on the Telegram App. For those wading through the ebbs and flows of faith, searching for spiritual comradeship, or seeking a deeper resonance with God, this space is tailored for you. Embark on this shared pilgrimage, drawing solace and strength from kindred spirits. Be it challenges, victories, or contemplative moments, together, we'll experience, reflect, and grow. (Click Here or Scan the QR Code Below)

The Sobering Faith Online Community

Are you seeking a deeper understanding of faith, beyond the boundaries of traditional religious doctrines? Dive into the "Sobering Faith Journey" online community—a safe space for seekers, questioners, and anyone desiring more from their spiritual path. Unpack your concerns, share your challenges, and walk alongside those who are on the same quest for spiritual clarity and connection. Together, we journey beyond the constraints, seeking a fulfilling and authentic relationship with God.

Have you ever stopped to think about the characters in your life story? Those people who have made a profound impact, whether for a moment or over the years? 

I was a guest on the Redemption's Table Podcast, where we discussed the characters in our faith journey and how God meets us. It was such a great conversation, and it got me thinking about the critical people in our lives who have helped shape our faith.

First off, let's talk about my parents. They had a rough start to their marriage and battled alcoholism, but they never gave up. They showed me how to overcome obstacles and pull a family together.

Then there are my in-laws. They stepped in at the right moment and showed me what a healthy faith, marriage, and relationship with God look like daily. Their unwavering love and dedication to each other and their faith inspire me daily.

Janice was another character in my faith journey. She took a lost young guy and attempted to point him to God and call him out on his B.S. Her faith and willingness to help me helped frame who I am today.

Cliff was another person who showed up unexpectedly and dropped some hard truths on me when I needed them most. He prayed with me and gave me a ride back to the border of Mexico. It was a moment that changed my life forever.

And let's remember the young lady who followed the Holy Spirit's prompting and picked me up while I was hitchhiking. She didn't have to do that, but she did. She showed me the love of Christ in a very tangible way.

Last but certainly not least, there's my wife Tabby. She's been my best friend, motivator, and support system throughout my entire journey. She's believed in me when I didn't believe in myself and has shown me how to be more joyful and compassionate. I thank God every day for bringing her into my life.

These are just a few of the characters in my faith journey. They all played a crucial role in helping me find my way and grow my faith. And that's the thing about faith - it's a personal journey. It's not about fitting into a predefined box or copying what someone else has done. It's about being open to the characters that God places in front of us and allowing Him to work in and through us.

It's easy to get caught up in the busyness and stress of life, but if we're always at odds and working in anxiety, we'll miss the amazing relationships that God has placed in our lives. So take a moment today to reflect on the people in your life who have helped shape your faith, and thank God for them. And be open to the characters that He brings into your life in the future. You never know how they might inspire and guide you.

Which brings me to Ecclesiastes. I love this book because it's so honest and authentic. Solomon, who had everything at his fingertips, realizes that without God, everything is meaningless. And really, what else is there? Sure, we can pursue money, success, and pleasure, but in the end, none of that will matter. We find true purpose and meaning in life only by knowing God and keeping His commands.

So, I encourage you all to be open to the characters in your faith journey. Whether it's your parents, in-laws, friends, or a random stranger, listen to what they say and see how God might use them to guide you. And remember, faith is not one-size-fits-all. It's about your personal journey and conversation with God.

How can we find and connect with the characters in our faith journey? Here are a few tips that have worked for me:

1. Be open and attentive. God has a way of putting people in our path for a reason. It could be a chance encounter with a stranger, a conversation with a coworker, or a deepening of a current friendship. Whatever it is, be open and attentive to who God is placing in your life.

2. Listen and learn. Everyone has a story, and everyone has something to teach us. Take the time to listen to others and learn from their experiences. They may have insights and wisdom that you've never considered before.

3. Be vulnerable. It's okay to admit that you don't have all the answers. In fact, it's essential. When we're open and vulnerable with others, we create a safe space for them to be vulnerable with us, and we can grow and learn together.

4. Pray. Ask God to reveal the characters that He wants to bring into your life. Ask Him to give you the courage and discernment to recognize them and be open to what they say.

If you have read my books, please leave a brief review on Amazon.

Sobering Faith - reviews: www.geraldzgabay.com/sobering-faith-reviews

Opening Up - reviews: www.geraldzgabay.com/opening-up-reviews

Do you ever find yourself feeling overwhelmed by life's biggest questions? Like me, perhaps you've wondered about the nature of existence, the meaning of death, the purpose of faith, or the very existence of God. As an overthinker, I've spent countless hours pondering these topics, searching for answers amidst the mystery and uncertainty.

But as I've grown older, I've realized that the answers may not be as important as the questions themselves. Questioning is a natural and necessary part of the human experience. It's what drives us to seek the truth, to explore the unknown, and to find our place in the world.

Allow me to share a personal story from my own journey. When I was just 11 or 12 years old, the reality of death crashed into my world. I was surrounded by loss and grief, and I began to question the very meaning of life itself. Staring up at the stars in the night sky, I wondered if our existence was just a blip on the cosmic timeline, destined to fade away as quickly as it appeared.

These thoughts led me down a path of exploration as I sought answers from the religion I was brought up in - Catholicism. Yet, the answers I received didn't satisfy my restless mind. I found myself questioning everything, from the existence of God to the purpose of my own life.

Thankfully, I had a wise priest who encouraged me to embrace the mystery and continue asking questions. He reminded me that faith is a personal journey, a constant exploration and evolution. And most importantly, he assured me that God can draw good out of even the most difficult and confusing situations.

Since then, I've seen questioning as a powerful tool for growth and discovery. Through our questions, we gain knowledge, deepen our faith, and connect with others who share our struggles and doubts.

Now, I invite you to embrace the mystery along with me. Let's explore life's biggest questions together, seeking wisdom and guidance. 

Here are a few helpful guidelines to get started:

Embrace the Unknown. Don't be afraid to ask the big questions, even if they seem unanswerable. Remember that mystery is a necessary part of the human experience and that uncertainty can lead to growth and discovery.

Seek Guidance and Community. Don't go it alone - seek out mentors, spiritual leaders, and community members who can support you on your journey. Ask for advice, share your struggles and insights, and connect with others on a similar path.

Be Open to Change. As we explore life's biggest questions, we may encounter new perspectives and ideas that challenge our beliefs and assumptions. Don't be afraid to change course and embrace new paths of growth and understanding.

Trust in the Journey. Ultimately, our exploration of life's biggest questions is a faith journey. Trust that God guides you, even in moments of doubt and uncertainty. Allow yourself to be open to the mystery and find courage and inspiration amid life's unknowns.

So, let's take the first step together. Join me in embracing the mystery and seeking wisdom, connection, and growth. Together, we can discover the beauty and wonder of life's biggest questions.

If you have read my books, please leave a brief review on Amazon.

Sobering Faith - reviews: www.geraldzgabay.com/sobering-faith-reviews

Opening Up - reviews: www.geraldzgabay.com/opening-up-reviews

Before we get into today's topic, I am super excited to announce that my second book, Opening Up, is now available as an audiobook on Audible! So, whether you prefer to read or listen, you can check it out and take in all the insights and wisdom at your own pace.

Now, onto something that's been weighing on my mind lately: the danger of pride. As human beings, pride is one of the most challenging things to battle because it often feels like self-defense or self-preservation. But the truth is that pride can cloud our judgment, damage our relationships, and even lead to disastrous consequences.

Let me give you an example. Last weekend, I was driving my family to lunch when I made a wrong turn and nearly caused a collision on the passenger side of the car where my wife was seated. Understandably, she was upset and immediately told me, "Don't ever do that again." But instead of owning up to my mistake and apologizing, I lashed out and attacked her for how she spoke to me. In reality, she was expressing her fear and sternly expressing the fear and discomfort that I caused her. And I had the nerve to be frustrated, but I was embarrassed, and my pride activated.

At that moment, my pride took over, and I couldn't accept that I had made a mistake that could have endangered my family. But as soon as I calmed down and stepped back, I realized how foolish I had been. My wife was rightfully scared, and instead of supporting her, I worsened the situation.

This incident reminded me how damaging pride can be in our relationships at home and in the workplace. It can cause us to lash out, blame others, and even damage our reputations. But the good news is that we can learn to overcome our pride by practicing humility and owning up to our mistakes.

So, if you've ever found yourself in a situation where your pride got the better of you, here are some questions to help you process those emotions:

- What specifically triggered your pride in that situation?
- How did your pride impact your behavior and your words?
- What could you have done differently to approach the situation more humbly?
- Are there any patterns of pride you've observed in yourself, and how can you work on addressing them?

Remember, owning up to our mistakes and showing humility is not a sign of weakness but strength and maturity. If you find yourself struggling with pride and need someone to talk to, I encourage you to reach out to trusted people, professionals, or friends, don't hesitate to contact me at info@geraldzgabay.com.

And once again, if you still need to check out my audiobook, Opening Up, head over to Audible and listen. There are valuable insights on how to improve your relationships and communication skills.

"Have you ever stopped to question why you do what you do? What motivates you to pursue your passions and purpose in life?"

I hope this newsletter finds you well and that you have enjoyed quality time with loved ones this summer. As for my family and me, we recently went on a mini-vacation to the lovely city of Austin, Texas, and had a fantastic time together.

We spent our days swimming, sharing meals, watching movies, and going to the Texas Selfie Museum, which was surprisingly fun and a great way to bond as a family. But amidst all the activities and relaxation, I found myself reflecting on a question that has been on my mind lately: Why do I do what I do?

As someone who writes, publishes books, mentors, speaks and participates in Church, it's easy to get caught up in the busyness of life and lose sight of the bigger picture. That's why I often check in with myself, God, and those around me to ensure that I still pursue my passions and purpose with vision, passion, and understanding.

It's important to remember that we can easily slip into autopilot mode and lose sight of why we do what we do. Moving from intentional living to autopilot mode can lead to bad habits, strained relationships, and a lack of motivation and enthusiasm for the things that matter most to us.

That's why I was reminded of the importance of staying connected to our purpose and values as I read through Colossians 3 during my morning meditation. This passage reminds us of the privileges and duties of the gospel and instructs us to put to death our earthly nature and embrace a more Christlike way of living.

As a husband and father, I am called to love my wife and children, to be patient, kind, honorable, and diligent. And as a Christian, I am called to actively combat lust, greed, and pride, not just for myself but for the sake of those around me and ultimately for the glory of God.

Last week, I was struck by a song by Corey Taylor, leader singer of Slipknot. In an interview, Corey spoke about the pain and guilt after losing a friend to suicide. The song reminds us that we must be diligent in walking with those struggling and reminds us of the consequences of losing sight of our purpose and neglecting those around us.

So, have you ever stopped to question why you do what you do? What motivates you to pursue your passions and purpose in life? Are there bad habits, substances, or attitudes that have been adopted that are not productive, healthy, or sustainable? Take some time this week to reflect on these questions and ensure you're living with vision, passion, and understanding.

In the meantime, I encourage you to enjoy the rest of your summer and continue bonding with your loved ones over meals, movies, and other fun activities. I hope you have a blessed and purposeful week!

If you are interested, here is a link to the Texas Selfie Museum: 

https://originalselfiemuseum.com/

As I sit down to write, I can't help but feel the weight of this past week. Some weeks are full of challenges, whether with our career, family, parenting, marriage, or, most challenging, our internal struggles. Each week I use a tool that I received called 'Simple Intentions: Cultivating a Life You Love Living.' The goal of this resource is to help guide and create habits, attitudes, and approaches to life in the hope of finding daily joy, even on hard days. The idea is to focus on short and long-term goals by creating daily intentions, focuses, and one word to for the week.

On Sunday, I write this out for the following week and journal about the previous week, reviewing my daily thoughts, hopes, and fears. This week my word was freedom. 

I intended to make choices and decisions that support walking in authentic freedom amid daily struggles, challenges, and joys related to my family, marriage, friendships, and work. For me, freedom seems pretty simple, but try focusing on what freedom means to you for a week, define it, and live truly free. During my week of focusing on freedom, I was challenged by what freedom looks like daily, minute by minute, and practically.

The word "Freedom" has been in my heart ever since I became aware of the enslavement that occurs with our thoughts, actions, dependencies, and attitudes. It's interesting how vague and elusive the concept of freedom can be. We all desire and talk about it, but do we really know what freedom means to us? In this edition of The Sobering Faith Newsletter, we'll attempt to delve into the meaning of physical and spiritual freedom.

Physical freedom is acting, speaking, thinking, or behaving without restraint. The American society prides itself on freedom, and rightfully so. We have the freedom to vote, free speech, the freedom of religion, and so much more, even amid political, sociality, and cultural chaos. However, this physical freedom can sometimes blur the lines regarding personal responsibility and accountability. If we are not careful, our freedom can enslave us to bad habits, behaviors, vices, or addictions.

This is where the concept of spiritual freedom creeps in. True spiritual freedom doesn't come from any external source but from within. It's a freedom that only exists in Jesus Christ. We can define spiritual freedom as wholly fulfilling our divine purpose while glorifying God. This freedom can never be attained without Christ's help; we can do nothing to earn it. Only God can give us true freedom from the bondage of sin and lead us to a life of righteousness.

So, how do we achieve this freedom? It all starts with a renewed heart. God's Spirit moves in our hearts and opens our eyes to Truth. In this new light, we see the ugliness of our sins and our desperate need for a savior. We become new creations if we accept Jesus' sacrifice on the cross and make Jesus the Lord of our lives. We are born again with a new heart that desires to love and honor God. This new heart is free to follow Christ and do the good works God has prepared for us.

But this doesn't mean that we will never fail, or that we'll never struggle with temptation. Spiritual freedom is a process, a daily battle. We must stay rooted in God's word and cultivate our relationship with God, by calling on the Holy Spirit. We must learn to listen to that still, small voice, the Holy Spirit. We must learn to be honest about our weaknesses, and humble enough to ask for help.

I'll leave you with some questions to ponder this week: 

What does physical or spiritual freedom mean to you personally? 

Are there any things you've found yourself enslaved to in your life? How do you plan on breaking free from them? 

How has God's presence in your life helped you to find freedom?

Whether God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are foreign concepts or even mentioning these words stirs up negative or mixed emotions, you may need to start with what is behind those emotions. Feel free to email me at info@geraldzgabay.com, ask a question, drop a comment, or ask for prayer.

As always, I hope this newsletter leaves you encouraged and inspired. Let us all strive for the kind of freedom that only Christ can give us. Keep pressing forward.

While celebrating my amazing wife's birthday this week, I was reminded of a not-so-great birthday gift I gave her early on in our relationship. Wait, I didn't give her anything on this birthday! It was just another night where I let my selfishness dictate my actions, and in this case, it resulted in a trip to Kmart to buy myself bowling shoes on her special day. To make matters worse, I also bought a video game and a pair of sunglasses and said, "Feel free to pick anything out." What a jerk! At that moment, I belittled my wife, and my actions said that she wasn't a priority.

Looking back on that moment now, I cringe at my lack of consideration and thoughtfulness. But from this, I learned that selfishness is an obstacle to loving others well and that admitting our mistakes and taking accountability for our actions is key to strengthening our marriages.

In Colossians 3:12-14, it says, "You are the people of God; he loved you and chose you for his own. So then, you must clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Be tolerant with one another and forgive one another whenever any of you has a complaint against someone else. You must forgive one another just as the Lord has forgiven you. And to all these qualities add love, which binds all things together in perfect unity." These words remind us that love is a choice and an action that requires us to clothe ourselves in virtues that support it.

We're often asked how we celebrate our marriage or how to show love and support to our spouses. And the truth is it takes effort, patience, and selflessness to build a strong and lasting relationship. It's about learning from our mistakes, acknowledging our faults and selfishness, and loving daily. For me, it took therapy, prayer, and honest conversations with my wife to understand how my past mistakes were affecting our marriage. It took recognizing my parents' long marriage and how they overcame obstacles and my in-law's example of what authentic faith is and how they mirrored responses and actions to break the cycle of selfishness.

Personal accountability is crucial to breaking the cycle of selfishness in your marriage. Like me, you may find yourself making mistakes and hurting your spouse. The best thing you can do is take responsibility for your actions, admit your faults, and ask for forgiveness. Through therapy, prayer, and hard work, you can build a foundation of trust, communication, and love that will carry you through the tough times.

In an All Pro Dad blog by Mike Landry, he shared creative ways to celebrate with your wife, especially if special days conflict with other commitments. Keeping track of the months, weeks, or days you've been together can be a fun and meaningful way to acknowledge your journey as a couple. But you can also surprise her with a thoughtful note, cook her favorite meal, plan an adventurous outing, or simply spend quality time together without distractions. The key is to show her that you appreciate her and that you're committed to loving her with your whole heart.

Celebrating our marriages is about choosing compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and love. It's about learning from our mistakes, acknowledging our selfishness, and becoming accountable to our decisions. It's about appreciating our spouses and committing to loving them every day. Let us continue to clothe ourselves in virtuous qualities that support love and remember that with God's help, we can build stronger and lasting relationships.

If you are struggling in your marriage, I encourage you to take a step back and reflect on your actions and attitudes. Are you being selfish? Are you putting your spouse's needs first? Are you practicing forgiveness and kindness? These are all important questions to ask yourself if you want to build a lasting relationship that is grounded in love and mutual respect.

Don't forget to listen to our podcast interview on the 8000 Promises Podcast with Adi Tilford, where we share more marriage tips and stories. And let's continue to celebrate our marriages with joy, creativity, and love.

All Pro Dad, '8 Random Things to Celebrate With Your Wife' 8 Random Things to Celebrate With Your Wife - All Pro Dad

8000 Promises Podcast, 'Gerald & Tabby Interview' Saying Yes! to Opening Up about Pornography Addiction and Recovery - 8000 Promises: Saying Yes to God's Promises for your one beautiful and precious life. | Podcast on Spotify

Church can be a complex and challenging place, and it's not always easy to find a community that aligns with our beliefs and values. The relationships we build within our churches can have a profound impact on our spiritual journey, and it's important to find a community that supports our growth as individuals and as a collective.

As we navigate the challenges of church life, we must remember that we are all imperfect individuals (including church leaders) struggling to find our way in the world. At times, disagreements arise, and it can be difficult to maintain peace within the church. However, the power of the Holy Spirit can unite even the most divided communities, as evidenced by the New Testament church.

My books, Sobering Faith and Opening Up, have resonated with many individuals who have struggled to find a church community that is a good fit for them. Some have asked me if I attend church based on the content in my books, and my answer is yes. My wife and I are members of a small church, even though it may not fully align with all of our personal convictions and beliefs.

It's important to be involved in the church community, even if we don't always agree with everything that is being said or done. Church can be difficult because of the judgment, hurt, and "weirdness" that people bring into the community. However, we must remember that we're all imperfect, and we're all trying to find our way.

As you navigate your own journey of faith, I encourage you to consider the impact that church can have in your life. If you're struggling to find a community that aligns with your beliefs and values, don't be discouraged. Keep searching for a community that allows you to be the person that God made you to be.

For those of you who have experienced pain, hurt, or abuse within your faith circle or church, my heart goes out to you. It's okay to take a step back and re-evaluate your spiritual journey. Seek out trusted, positive, and joyful individuals who can walk with you through the dark moments of faith and church.

Remember, the church is a collection of like-minded individuals who are coming together to support each other and walk together in their journey of faith. If your church isn't doing that for you, don't be afraid to keep searching until you find a community that does.

In the end, the journey of faith is about finding peace, joy, and freedom from the elements of the world. Let's continue to support each other in this journey and build communities that reflect the love and grace of God.

Guidelines for Finding a Healthy Church:

Seek a church with clear values, beliefs, and practices aligned with the Bible.

Choose a church that values transparency, accountability, and humility in its leadership.

Look for a church that prioritizes creating a safe and inclusive environment for all members.

Consider the church's history and reputation regarding its approach to handling church hurt and abuse.

For more information and guidance on healing from church hurt, visit https://www.dralisoncook.com/church-hurt-4-steps-healing/. Remember, God wants to bring healing and restoration to your life and experiences. Don't settle for a toxic church environment when healthy ones are out there.