Erika Gardner's Blog

Full disclosure…I have been traveling, which is delightful, but it does cut into my day job. This is, I admit, a first world problem, though a problem nonetheless. Last Monday marked the thirty-ninth anniversary of the release of The Passenger by Siouxsie and The Banshees. This was a 1987 cover of the iconic 1977 original by Iggy Pop (it appeared on his Lust For Life LP). Therefore, although I am a week late, I wanted to pay homage to this version because I think Siouxsie and the guys did a bang up job on this track (and, yes, I love the original as well).

In that magical place which is the crossroad between goth, punk and new wave lies Siouxsie Sioux and The Banshees. As a girl growing up in the 80’s Siouxsie was to me one bad ass, intelligent, independent woman making her way in the world. I related to her and I loved (still love) her music. I loved that the band name revolved around her, I loved that she took chances, I loved the individuality in their music. Yes, this is a cover, but it’s a great one. It’s as iconic in its own way as the original was in 1977.

I can’t share this blog without talking about the genesis of this band (besides if I don’t my dear friend Michelle, aka Mitch, will hold me to account). Once upon a time in the far off land of 1975 Siouxsie Sioux (it was her childhood nickname) and one Steven Severin met at a Roxy Music concert. Right there, you already know this will turn out well because, I mean, have you heard Brian Ferry’s voice? If you haven’t you must, simply MUST, go look for some Roxy Music. That is your homework this week. Anyhow, they connected and shared their love of the local London music scene, especially certain unsigned bands. One of these I think you’ll recognize, the Sex Pistols. Out of this group of Sex Pistols fans, several musical groups were formed. These bands played at local bars and any festival they could get into. In 1976 Siouxsie and Steven heard that some friends of theirs were going to no-show at the 100 Club Punk Festival and Siouxsie suggested that they fill in. Mind you, they had no name. No material. I’m guessing it was just a bunch of eyeliner and moxy. Now, as a huge music geek and a lover of musical history I need to share that not only did they play but they had none other than Sid Vicious himself on drums and Marco Pirroni on guitar (later to become Adam Ant’s guitarist). Not such a shabby beginning, don’t you agree? What did they play ala impromptu you ask? A twenty minute improvisation of The Lord’s Prayer… but… they got asked to play another event and, thus, a band was born.

Thank you, Siouxsie- you added so much to the music scene and to the soundtrack of my life. BTW, if you haven’t already, check out Siouxsie and Severin’s side project, The Creatures- super fun!

 

I am a passenger
And I ride, and I ride
I ride through the city’s backsides
I see the stars come out of the sky
Yeah, they’re bright in a hollow sky
You know it looks so good tonightI am the passenger
I stay under glass
I look through my window so bright
I see the stars come out tonight
I see the bright and hollow sky
Over the city’s ripped back sky
And everything looks good tonightSingin’ la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la, la laGet into the car
We’ll be the passenger
We’ll ride through the city tonight
See the city’s ripped backsides
We’ll see the bright and hollow sky
We’ll see the stars that shine so bright
Oh, stars made for us tonightOh, the passenger
How, how he rides
Oh, the passenger
He rides and he rides
He looks through his window
What does he see?
He sees the silent hollow sky
He sees the stars come out tonight
He sees the city’s ripped backsides
He sees the winding ocean drive
And everything was made for you and me
All of it was made for you and me
‘Cause it just belongs to you and me
So let’s take a ride and see what’s mineSingin’ la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la, la laOh, the passenger
He rides and he rides
He sees things from under glass
He looks through his window’s eye
He sees the things that he knows are his
He sees the bright and hollow sky
He sees the city asleep at night
He sees the stars are out tonight
And all of it is yours and mine
And all of it is yours and mine
So let’s ride and ride and ride and rideSingin’ la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la, la laSingin’ la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la, la la

The post Musical Monday- A Belated Happy Anniversary to Siouxsie & The Banshees “The Passenger” appeared first on Erika Gardner.

On March 7th, 1986 a movie was released. I missed it at first. My parents (wise souls) actually bullied me into watching it (I was in college at this point and apparently knew EVERYTHING). That movie is The Highlander. It’s the story of Connor MacLeod who is a Scottish Highlander. He doesn’t know that he’s immortal, it takes dying for him to find that out. Well, and the tutoring of one Juan Ramirez (played by Sean Connery). He also loses a beloved wife, his “Bonnie Heather,” as he outlives her. To his credit and all our shared heartbreak, he never leaves her as he stays young and she ages because as he says at her deathbed, he still loves her as much as the first time that he saw her. Wow, even now, as many times as I’ve watched that scene and listened to Queen’s epic masterpiece Who Wants to Live Forever it makes me catch my breath.

This became a cult film and inspired several film sequels and television spin-offs. (The sequels are SHIT but the TV show was actually good.) Queen recorded several songs for the film’s soundtrack, and those songs also appeared on their 1986 studio album, A Kind of Magic. Another Queen song, Hammer to Fall, is also used in the film, although it was from the band’s 1984 studio album, The Works.Originally, Kurt Russell was cast as Connor MacLeod, beating Michael Douglas, Ed Harris, Sam Shepard, David Keith, Kevin Costner, Scott Glenn, Sting (who was also considered to provide the soundtrack for the movie), Mickey Rourke, Peter Weller, Mel Gibson and William Hurt. However, Russell dropped out of the film at the insistence of Goldie Hawn. I have to say, I can’t imagine the film with Russell so, thank you, Goldie.

The song I’ve chosen to honor this film is one that we played at our wedding. I remember tearing up that day. Marriage had never been in my plan. In fact, I had actively planned against marriage and children. Meeting my ex-husband and loving him changed my mind. Next came our home and a dog and the natural next step in loving someone that much for me was to have children. I have a son and two daughters. They are three of the most amazing and kind, funny and intelligent people I have ever had the pleasure to meet. No regrets. That said, I did cry at my wedding, at this song One Year of Love written by bassist John Deacon (he didn’t do a lot of their writing, he is also the writer of Another One Bites the Dust)…I wonder if I knew on some level how it might go?

And it’s true, just one year of love is better than a lifetime alone. No regrets, just memories.

 

Just one year of love
Is better than a lifetime alone
One sentimental moment in your arms
Is like a shooting star right through my heart
It’s always a rainy day without you
I’m a prisoner of love inside you
I’m falling apart all around you, yeahMy heart cries out to your heart
I’m lonely, but you can save me
My hand reaches out for your hand
I’m cold, but you light the fire in me
My lips search for your lips
I’m hungry for your touch
There’s so much left unspoken
And all I can do is surrender to the moment, just surrenderAnd no one ever told me
That love would hurt so much (ooh, yes, it hurts)
And pain is so close to pleasure
And all I can do is surrender (ooh)
To your love (ooh, just surrender to your love)Just one year of love
Is better than a lifetime alone
One sentimental moment in your arms
Is like a shooting star right through my heart
It’s always a rainy day without you
I’m a prisoner of love inside you
I’m falling apart, all around you
And all I can do is surrender

The post Musical Monday- The Highlander a Look Back…One Year of Love appeared first on Erika Gardner.

This week’s song is so far out of my typical wheelhouse. That said, in another lifetime I was married to a man who had a family lake house in the Sierra Nevada mountains in Northern California. While I know for my children this place will likely always be a place of peace, love and respite, for me it went from a place of wonder to the scene of some of the saddest and most heart breaking times of my adult life. I hope I never go anywhere near that lake again. One of the things that always did bring me a great deal of pleasure there, especially in later years as my marriage went from a thing of pure joy to circling the drain, was the collection of LP’s and the turntable that we played them on. One of these records was The Carpenters Greatest Hits and my favorite song was always Superstar.

As I type this, it’s Monday, March 2nd. Karen Carpenter would have celebrated her 76th birthday today. Instead, she died at 32 from heart failure after a battle with anorexia. I can remember so clearly the cover of People magazine detailing her passing. She was the first person I knew of who battled the disease and once I read her story I realized that I knew people, friends, who were facing the same monster. Some fought it off. Some did not. One of my classmates, Tina, was the most beautiful girl (in my opinion) of our entire graduating class- inside and out. Dark hair, sparkling eyes, tall, just beautiful- truly- and she recently passed. It took a few decades longer but the monster finally devoured her.

Karen Carpenter possessed a voice, a tenor, that was batting well outside of its weight class (yes, I mixed metaphors). The Carpenters sang light, feel good, bubble gum pop. Karen’s voice and Richard’s arrangements helped elevate the songs. The richness, the ache, the tone of her voice…God, what would she have sounded like on other songs? It’s always the might-have-been’s that hurt the most. Both with Karen and with my marriage. The refrain, “Loneliness is such a sad affair and I can hardly wait to be with you again. What to say to make you come again? (Baby) Come back to me again (baby),” God, I lived those lines daily. There I was lonely, desperate to bring my husband home again and nothing I did worked. The inherent pain in Karen’s rich voice spoke to my own pain. I love this song and I mourn the singer, but I am devotedly grateful to be on to another chapter, one that embraces joy, where I walk alongside- a partner, not left behind.

Happy heavenly birthday, Karen- you’re beautiful, but you always were. I wish you and I had realized sooner- we are enough. We always were.

 

 

The post Musical Monday- “Superstar” Happy Birthday Karen Carpenter appeared first on Erika Gardner.

In the last few years I have been making a special effort to find new bands. The thing is, I am middle age (and fabulous) and the bands and their members who I grew up listening to in high school, then discovered in college were all anywhere from five to twenty-five years older than me. Fast forward a couple of decades or so and you’ve got a whole lot of bands that are aging out of the scene. As in, either too old/health issues to tour or, worse, deadsville. For me live music is a huge part of what makes life such a delight. So as I have lost people, looking very much at you Ronnie James Dio, but also Neil Peart, John Wetton, Ozzy Osbourne, Ace Frehley and, just lately, Francis Bucholtz, among so many others, I have sought out new voices and younger bands. I will be perfectly happy to be the lone one-hundred-year-old little old lady at the show still having a grand old time. Maybe a couple of my great-grand kids will drive so I can have a beer.

A couple of weeks ago I attended the final show of the Lord of the Lost’s Dark Winter American tour. They performed in Berkeley at the UC Theatre. The tickets were $75 in advance for three bands. The show did sell out so I was happy to be able to be there. The Special Guest was Wednesday 13 (a solo performer with a backing band, not a group name) and the Opener was The Birthday Massacre. Spoiler alert, all three bands were super fun, but for different reasons.

The UC Theatre in Berkeley is in a great neighborhood near the UC campus. There’s easy parking and lots of delish food options for your noshing needs. We ate at Pizzeria da Laura. My boyfriend had the biggest calzone I’ve ever seen and managed to finish it. Damn. I had meatballs and a Caesar salad. Yum. From dinner it was an easy 400 meter walk to the venue. The UC Theatre in Berkeley is a fun spot. Big enough to attract good bands, but small enough that there really isn’t a bad seat in the house. Great acoustics, adequate bathrooms, a coat check, and two killer bars to enjoy throughout your evening. Also, a small miracle, cocktail waitresses who come TO YOU so that you don’t have to waste valuable music time in line at the bar. I adored that touch. There are seats and standing areas, so you have options to dance or to chill. I choose to dance.

On to the bands…the good stuff! Wednesday 13 is a character who has been on the American music scene for years (he’s just a bit younger than me). He used front the Murder Dolls if you are familiar with them. He’s a high energy guy with a little bit of a chip on his shoulder, think Axl Rose back in the day. While I enjoyed his set very much, I don’t think that this is a guy whose music I would seek out. It’s fun live, but not to my listening tastes. He mixes the punk, goth, shock rock, glam flavors if you get my drift.

Next was the Birthday Massacre. They are a band who have already been on the periphery of my awareness. They are fronted by Sara “Chibi” Taylor. She’s adorable, about my height (5’1″) and possesses a great set of pipes. The band formed in 1999 and hails from Toronto, Canada. These guys I’m totally checking out again and looking to do a deep dive on their music. They are fun live and their music has real chops. I enjoyed everything about their set and, as I have said before, I always love more female representation on the musical scene.

Great pipes!

It was great to see a Canadian band (and LOTL is German) despite the general hostility of the current administration to, well…. so many things. As I wrote a few months ago in my Glomfest review, performers have been having a harder time getting their visas approved in order to tour the States and, let’s be honest, the United States is not really a global favorite these days.

Finally, it was time for the headliner. Lord of the Lost was founded by Chris Harms from Hamburg, Germany in 2007. Originally, he had intended the band to be a solo project, however, once he started writing music and realized the scope of what he wanted to accomplish it became clear that he would need a full band to achieve his vision. Since then they’ve had several really GOOD albums. Harms is probably my favorite male vocalist at the present. This was my second time seeing them and I would happily go again any time they are in town. They are probably best known as Germany’s 2023 entry into Eurovision (they came in 26th of 26th- I’m not sure the pop world was ready for dark metal/glam/goth gods) with their single Blood & Glitter from their 2022 album of the same name (the record hit #1 in Germany). The contest was, I think, a risk for the band. That seems to be their M.O., they do take risks. They’ve done everything from recording a sung version of Edgar Allen Poe’s classic tragic poem, Annabel Lee to covering diverse groups (Roxette, Iron Maiden, Hedwig & the Angry Itch, & The Pet Shop Boys among others). Side note, Annabel Lee was the last completed poem by Poe before his death. It is believed to be another ode to his deceased young wife, also incidentally his cousin. Back to LOTL, their original stuff is top notch as well. They are well worth some dedicated listening time.

Harms has shown up on guest appearances on some amazing albums. He has produced albums for Joachim Vitt & Scarlet Dorn, showed up as one of three guest vocalists on Mono Inc.’s Children of the Dark (see my blog here: https://erikagardner.com/musical-monday-children-of-the-dark-by-mono-inc/) and my latest fave is a collaboration is from 2018 with Scarlet Dorn, I Love the Way You Say My Name. I’m including a link to the last here as I simply adore this song- two beautiful voices. If you are looking to expand your musical horizons I cannot say enough good things about Harms and Lord of the Lost.

 

In the darkest night
There’s only your light
That keeps my dream alive
In my bleakest times
I have you as my guide
To fill the void insideFirst time I heard your voice
I had no doubt I’ve found, that I have found a chance of live
Took me by the hand
Made my spirit rise
Taught me how to live without disguiseI was trapped in my mind
Then you freed me from my shame
Ooh
I love the way you say my nameYou remind me of something deep in my heart
I’d longer did not own
In this dead old room
There’s only one spark
We both know and the wallI would sin for you to take me in your arms
Sold my soul for you, keep you safe from harm
For a single kiss I would start a war
You’re the only cause that I would die forI was trapped in my mind
Then you freed me from my shame
Ooh
I love the way you say my nameI would sin for you
Sell my soul for you
Start a war for you
I would kill for you
I would sin for you
Sell my soul for you
Start a war for you
I would die for youI would sin for you
Sell my soul for you
Start a war for you
Blood I’d spill for you
I would sin for you
Lose control for you
Start a war for you
I would die for youFor you
I would die for you
For youI would sin for you
Sell my soul for you
Start a war for you
I would kill for you
I would sin for you
Sell my soul for you
Start a war for you
I would die for youI was trapped in my mind
Then you freed me from my shame
Ooh
I love the way you say my nameI was trapped in my mind
Then you freed me from my shame
Ooh
I love the way you say my name

 

 

The post And Now…For Something Completely Different- A Concert Review of Lord of the Lost appeared first on Erika Gardner.

Happy Monday Morning, People! And no, I am not being sarcastic. Yes, we are surrounded by liars, bigots and racists. But… like the song says… we’ll find a way. Life finds a way. Dig deep, be authentic, have integrity. yes, I’m spouting tropes, but isn’t that true of all the great half-time speeches? There’s a reason a trope reaches that status. The great ones transcend. Here’s some more… we got this, love is greater than hate, just believe, and the greatest of all… NEVER GIVE UP!

I’m not going ostrich on you guys, I promise. Last week was rough…again. You know, in another administration I would look at a female Attorney General or a female Director of Homeland Security and point to these women as achievements, signs that society that is moving forward. These two? I just shudder. Pam Bondi (aka Peroxide Skeletor) couldn’t even woman up enough to look the Epstein victims (who are badass, by the way) in the eyes. Hey Pam, thanks for the whole Dow update- as soon as you screamed it the market dipped over 700 points. And that walking bit of Botox combined with silicon and supercharged with hate, Kristi Noem, is the stuff of nightmares (and not just for puppies).

For instance, DHS just served every online player with administrative subpoenas requesting the names, emails, websites, etc. of people who have criticized or tracked ICE. Unlike traditional warrants, administrative subpoenas do not require approval from a judge before they are issued. Instead of seeking court authorization first, DHS can sign and send the demands directly to tech companies. Legally, these don’t have a lot of teeth, However, it is up to those subpoenaed companies to resist and risk making the Orange Diaper Baby (that’s ODB for short) start throwing his toys out of his crib and having a basic tantrum. In another time, this type of subpoena wouldn’t worry me too much. These days? Well, we have seen that the oligarchs are only too happy to kiss the…ring of ODB if it means that they can take their billions to trillions to gazillions and the rest of the world be damned. So, yes, I have concerns. Here I am, writing my little opinion pieces, exercising my First Amendment right to Free Speech and yet, these days? Kristi Noem would call me a domestic terrorist. (To be clear I’m just a short woman who likes Doctor Who living in Norcal.) I guess as long as all she’s doing is calling me names then she’s just exercising HER Constitutional rights, but she seems like she prefers the whole shoot first, ask questions never because she’s too busy making up the cover story scenario. I am NOT a fan. So yeah, powerless or not, these subpoenas are making my spidey senses tingle.

To be fair, the spidey senses have been on high alert for the past year. While I am completely aware and paying attention to them, I do see events which hearten me. Bless the people of Minnesota. ODB really, really wanted a riot (or four) and to be able to call for martial law. He wants to do it to the whole country so that he can skip the midterms *shudder* but Minnesota remained the collective adult in the room. Despite at least two of their neighbors being murdered in broad daylight, they didn’t give in to hate, they continued to film, to protest peacefully, and to stand up for their rights. They did the heavy lifting for all of us. Love them.

Slowly, bit by bit, some Republicans are reaching the inexorable conclusion that ODB may have gone too far, that this isn’t what they signed up for. And, again bit by bit, enough of the Epstein Files have come to light, that I think it’s pretty clear that it is NOT a hoax, that the powerful are being protected and that justice has NOT yet been done. And I have to say, I don’t think anyone (on the left or the right) is about to let this go. Unless, of course, you are one of said child rapists, then you would of course be all about the move along, nothing to see here tactic. Republicans are asking questions, waking up from their stupor and voting (in some cases) by conscience not party lines. I love that for them. I love that for us. If Congress actually got involved and did their due diligence, their JOB and we had the checks and balances that are part of the government’s designs, we could right this ship.

So, yes, I am still desperately worried, but I see some sunlight. Spring just might come after all. Or to use Those Damn Crows words, “Can’t see the stars, but I swear they will shine again.” Please enjoy this week’s song We’ll Find Away by Those Damn Crows. This quintet hails from Wales. (That rhymes!) They were founded in 2014 and their name comes from a phrase shouted by drummer Ronnie Huxford’s father while feeding birds in his garden. I have really been enjoying them. Hope that you do, too!!!

 

LyricsWhen you dare to look for the ship that sailed
And the silence comes to scream you failed
Seeing your goodbyes through the rearview mirror
Where you’re heading to become so much clearerCan you tell me who you think you’re saving?
It’s only you you’ve been betrayingWe’ll find our way, we’ll find our way
Can’t see the stars, but I swear they will shine again
We’ll find our way, we’ll find our way
Fighting from the right side of wrong againTake back control
That choice was always yours
Chasing shadows
Left you with a life on your ownWe’ll find our way, we’ll find our way
Can’t see the stars, but I swear they will shine again
We’ll find our way, we’ll find our way
Fighting from the right side of wrong againOh-oh, oh-oh
It helps us find a way
Oh-oh, oh-oh
Fighting from the right side of wrong againCan you tell me who you think you’re saving?Embrace the fight
Sometimes it’s right to suffer more
It helps us find a way
Can we rewrite the path inside us today?
Help us find a way‘Cause we’ll find our way, we’ll find our way
Can’t see the stars, but I swear they will shine again
We’ll find our way, we’ll find our way
Fighting on the right side of wrong againOh-oh, oh-oh
It helps us find a way
Oh-oh, oh-oh
Fighting from the right side of wrong againCan you tell me who you think you’re saving?

The post Musical Monday- “Find A Way” by Those Damn Crows appeared first on Erika Gardner.

This week’s song is actually from an old band, Nestor, who formed in the eighties although I only discovered them a few months ago. They have an unusual origin story to say the least. The reason I’m only just now finding out about them is because even though they formed in Sweden in 1989 as just four kids doing your classic garage band thing, broke up, grew up and then reformed as adults decades later, their first record was not released until 2021. To date they only have two albums, Kids in a Ghost Town and 2024’s Teenage Rebel. This song, On The Run, is from the first album. Fun fact that album also features a guest appearance by Samantha Fox, yes, THAT Samantha Fox. (You younger folks will want to Google her. What a hoot!) Incidentally, the song Fox shares lead vocals on, Tomorrow, is actually quite good- surprise!

So, why did I choose this song you might ask? Well, other than the fact that this version is quite lovely, the lyrics resonated with me. So much has changed in American society over the last ten years, but this past year has truly been a doozy. Our institutions have been and still are being attacked and the levels of corruption defy credulity. The refrain “Call the police, Call the fire squad or anyone, Or get me a priest, I’m a lost child on the run” holds genuine poignancy as the adults in the political “room” so to speak are absent or silent. Who do you call when the police (or more accurately ICE), the politicians, the FBI, the DOJ are all in on the wrong doing? Americans are rebels on the streets protesting, doing our best to speak up but we need help, we need the adults to adult. We are in this moment lost children on the run.

Each day I turn on the news and I hope. I hope that people will see the ugliness, that we are losing so much of what makes America special. I texted with an old friend the other day and we veered on to politics. I explained that these days my policy is simply, “not one damn Red cent.” I don’t buy Florida orange juice or Kentucky bourbon and I don’t travel to Red States until they get their collective sanity back. I travel quite a bit (2026 holds Oahu, Baja California, Tahoe, Monterey, Ireland, and Iceland in store and that’s just my plans through July) and it’s where a great deal of my disposable income goes but none of it to places that support the Diaper Baby in Orange or have abandoned women’s health care and reproductive rights. My friend disappointed me by saying he wouldn’t let anything stand between him and his enjoyment. Ostrich. Sand. Have fun with that. Still, I hope. I hope that people will start caring. That some straw will break their proverbial camel’s back and they’ll get off their asses and join the fight. Money talks, don’t spend yours on causes, people or places tearing this nation to shreds to line their own golden wallets. Okay, rant over. After all, there are millions and millions of sane Americans all over this country doing everything that they can. I choose to believe that it’s not too late. I choose to hope.

Back to this song…this version is something beautiful in the midst of such ugly times. I hope it provides you pleasure and the respite it gave me. Happy Monday! (See the bottom of this blog for an alternative version.)

Lyrics to On The Run  (Piano Version)Driving through empty streets just like we used to do
I know every part of this town like the back of my hand
How many times have I heard, you’re only wasting time
‘Cause it’s all a game
The good and the bad
You tell me you need me
But baby I’m goneCall the police
Call the fire squad or anyone
Or get me a priest
I’m a lost child on the runI’m back on streets again, a rebel without a cause
The sirens are coming my way but I won’t take the fall
I fade into darkness and know that nothing can hold me down
‘Cause it’s all a game
This pain that I fear
So tell me you need me
‘Cause I’m going insaneCall the police
Call the fire squad or anyone
Or get me a priest
I’m a lost child on the run
‘Cause I’m down on my knees
So call a doctor or the president
Someone rescue me
‘Cause I’m a lost child on the runOh baby I need to get you off my mindCall the police
Call the fire squad or anyone
Or get me a priest
‘Cause I’m a lost child on the run
And I’m down on my knees
Call a doctor or the president
Someone rescue me
‘Cause I’m a lost child on the runIf you’d like a real blast from the past, check out the official video for On The Run the actual single version. I needed the piano version for today (for the above reasons) but here’s the “real thing.” The video takes the quartet back to the eighties with hilarious attention to detail and gives a glimpse to the band they might have been. You can see Nestor on their 2026 Tour (https://www.nestortheband.com/) which includes this April’s Monsters of Rock Cruise out of Miami. Hopefully I have provided you with a bit of distraction to the current our country’s going to hell in a handbasket (you are welcome).https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aY5X748vG1U

The post Musical Monday- “On The Run” by Nestor (Piano version) appeared first on Erika Gardner.

As you can see, I am late with my Musical Monday post. Oh yes, Sunday and again yesterday I sat down at my computer and started my blog. Then I deleted it and started again. And deleted it. See, I wanted to write about the murder of Alex Pretti. I wanted to somehow articulate the sheer horror and indefensible WRONGNESS of this whole situation in Minneapolis. And it’s not just the relentless authoritarian actions in Minnesota, it’s all over our country: Maine, Oregon, California, anywhere Trump feels people might see right through his B.S., where we didn’t vote for him, that we rely on science, where the Constitution still matters and has effect, where tolerance and kindness have meaning and are a priority, and where Americans remember what liberty and justice for all looks like. Minnesota is bearing the brunt for us, but the perversion of our democratic republic is happening all over the country. So, I tried to write.

Nothing came except incoherence, tears and a black depression. That sucked.

It sucked and it’s no way to live.

Side vent- I understand the people who say, “Oh, I don’t watch the news. I just can’t stand politics.” I get it. It’s frustrating, even maddening. It makes you mad. And sad. And you should be worried. You should have a reaction. I know it’s hard and I understand why you want to turn the TV off. Well, boo-hoo. Grow up. I hereby give you permission, same as I do for myself, to occasionally shut your eyes, look away, refuel, do whatever you need to in order to cope. After that, get yourself together and soldier on. Your country, our country, needs you, needs your voice, needs your vote. Things are bad. We need your help to fix this. We need your to help to course correct, to clean up the mess that this madman who some of you elected has made of our nation and the damage he is inflicting on the rest of the world. It’s time to woman up.

Where was I? Right, so I tried expressing all the sadness, outrage, grief, betrayal, and fear brought on first by Renee Good’s murder and then slammed home and underscored by the execution of Alex Pretti. It was too much. There was, and is, too much. So, I gave myself permission to grieve. I gave myself a break. And I am sharing that break with you now. In 2017 the amazing Foo Fighters invited (in their words) one badass motherfucker on stage. Rick Astley thought he was going to enjoy the concert with everyone else, until Dave Grohl flipped the script on everyone and brought him on stage to sing his 1987 iconic pop song Never Going to Give You Up.

This amazing moment is mash up of many things. First, it’s the ultimate rickroll(literally). A rickroll is a term born in 2007 where an internet prank/joke leads the audience into a rendition of Never Going to Give You Up. Having been a high school senior when the song was dominating the airwaves, I can attest that it was everywhere and the rickroll phenomenon is apt evolution of that song’s unique swagger.  Foo Fighters are another phenomenon, the phoenix that rose out of Nirvana’s ashes (frankly I prefer the later band to the first) and bring a certain joy, grit and humor to the rock landscape. This performance, and God bless Astley for just leaning into it and committing, mashes up a smooth, incredibly produced pop song with the electric guitar and exuberant growl that is Foo Fighters’ music. It’s like a Barbie through a meat grinder but the result is far more fun.

I guess what I hope from this blog is to bring a smile to your face, maybe get you to sing along in spite of yourself to this impossibly catchy diddy, and send you back out into the cruel world re-energized. Sometimes silly is just what we need to get us through the hard stuff.

Please enjoy…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdkCEioCp24&list=RDIdkCEioCp24&start_radio=1

Now…get out there and do some good.

 

The post Musical (Not Quite) Monday- Foo Fighters & Rick Astley “Never Gonna Give You Up” appeared first on Erika Gardner.

I’m having a hard time letting this one go. We have all seen the videos online of Renee Good’s killing in Minneapolis. I’m going to just say at the outset there needs to be a full investigation with cooperation between local, state and federal law enforcement. There are too many contradictions and I find it highly suspect that DHS can declare a shooting victim a “domestic terrorist” before they even know her name. The problem is that this is an incredibly volatile incident, with passions high from a variety of factions.

This whole situation reminds me very much of the Charlie Kirk killing. There are some clear parallels. Both killings have been treated in a highly partisan fashion. Clearly, the Right deeply mourned Kirk’s passing and the Left far less so. There were people at the time of Charlie Kirk’s shooting who suggested that by his rhetoric he brought his own death about and in his inflammatory speech he had it coming. I found and still find that thinking disgusting. I agreed with almost nothing Kirk stood for, however, I will defend with my utmost his right to say what he needed to say. Freedom of Speech is as American as apple pie and far more precious. Likewise, there are people who say that Renee Good brought about  her own death by blocking the road from ICE vehicles. I find that incredibly disgusting and inhumane as well. She is allowed to express her opinions under the First Amendment, just like Mr. Kirk. Neither of these deaths were “deserved.” Both of these murders should be punished. Both are tragedies and both left behind children who will never get to be ordinary, never be out from under the cloud that murder has cast upon their young lives. For the five kids sucked into the black hole of grief that these events have created, nothing will be the same again. There is no more ordinary.

Which brings us to this week’s song. Duran Duran, of all people, dedicated their song Ordinary World to Renee Good a few days after her shooting. I am including a link to this dedication below:

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ytiJIgprU-M

Getting back to Ms. Good and Mr. Ross. Everyone has their opinions. The fact that this is even a matter up for opinion kind of drives me crazy. It’s on video. Ross had removed his gun from its holster before Good’s vehicle moved forward. He had already decided to shoot. And if he was suffering from some sort of PTSD from a near death experience involving an automobile months earlier, why the hell is he cleared to be on the streets with civilians? Again, there should be an investigation, as there is with EVERY other law enforcement shooting. I guess, at the end of the day, I think these two individuals and their differences can best be summed up by their own words. Renee Good said just before Ross killed her, “That’s fine, dude. I’m not mad at you.” As he holstered his gun and Good bled out in her car Ross said, “Fucking bitch.”LyricsCame in from a rainy Thursday on the avenue
Thought I heard you talking softly
I turned on the lights, the TV, and the radio
Still I can’t escape the ghost of youWhat has happened to it all?
Crazy, some’d say
Where is the life that I recognise? (Gone away)But I won’t cry for yesterday, there’s an ordinary world
Somehow I have to find
And as I try to make my way to the ordinary world
I will learn to survivePassion or coincidence once prompted you to say
“Pride will tear us both apart”
Well, now pride’s gone out the window
‘Cross the rooftops, run away
Left me in the vacuum of my heartWhat is happening to me?
Crazy, some’d say
Where is my friend when I need you most? (Gone away)But I won’t cry for yesterday, there’s an ordinary world
Somehow I have to find
And as I try to make my way to the ordinary world
I will learn to surviveOoh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Ah-ah-ah
Gone away
Oh-ohPapers in the roadside tell of suffering and greed
Fear today, forgot tomorrow
Ooh-ooh, here besides the news of holy war and holy need
Ours is just a little sorrowed talkJust blowing awayAnd I don’t cry for yesterday, there’s an ordinary world
Somehow I have to find
And as I try to make my way to the ordinary world
I will learn to surviveI will learn to survive
(Any world is my world) I will learn to survive
(Any world is my world)
(Every world is my world)
(Every world)

 

 

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So, it’s been a tough week newswise…again. The murders of the Reiners and the inhuman comments from the White House on said tragedy, the death of Anthony Geary, we are apparently at war with Venezuela(???), the destruction of the East Wing (I am STILL processing, thank you very much), a Trump (draft dodger) Class of Warship (???), the NON-release of the Epstein Files (law be damned apparently) and ICE is proving themselves to be the modern day SA/SS Brown Shirts…Long story short, ICE? You think you’re special? NO. You are just the next version of thug. Little tiny men with no sexual prowess or allure abusing the little tiny bit of power that you have and making everyone around you want to throw up.

…Sorry, squirrel. Anyhow, my point being, it’s been a rough week in the news. In the midst of all THAT, I almost missed this one, but BlueSky was on their game…so I did see the news that Chris Rea passed away today.

Who is Chris Rea you ask? Someone from a more civilized time. In my mind, he was a man whose voice did not match his face, whose lyrics were more a sophisticated love letter than a pop song and who is extremely easy to sing along to. Apparently he had health problems for the last decade and died today at 74 after “a short illness.” He had duets with Elton John, performed on “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” with BandAid, two decades of hits in Europe, but this song is the one that I’ll always have on my playlist and always know it’s him.

He deserves more than a footnote in a horrible week of bad news. Download this song, pour a glass of wine and sing along with Chris. Thanks, Mr. Rea- we will miss you. XOXO

 

 

A dying flame, you’re free again
Who could love and do that to you
All dressed in black, he won’t be coming back
Save your tears, you’ve got years and years
The pains of seventeen’s
Unreal they’re only dreams
Save your crying for the dayFool if you think it’s over
‘Cos you said goodbye
Fool if you think it’s over
I’ll tell you why
Newborn eyes always cry with pain
At the first look at the morning sun
You’re a fool if you think it’s over
It’s just begun Miss teenage dream, such a tragic scene
he knocked your crown and ran away
First wound of pride and how you cried and cried
But save your tears you’ve got years and yearsFool if you think it’s over
‘Cos you said goodbye
Fool if you think it’s over
I’ll tell you why
Newborn eyes always cry with pain
At the first look at the morning sun
You’re a fool if you think it’s over
It’s just begunI’ll buy your first good wine
We’ll have a real good time
Save your crying for the day
That may not come but anyone
Who had to pay would laugh at you and sayFool if you think it’s over
‘Cos you said goodbye
Fool if you think it’s over
I’ll tell you why

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I am drowning in my manuscript’s latest draft and in the holidays, so this week’s Musical Monday is the soul of brevity. Please enjoy…

This song is for every loving, impossible to keep night, the ones that you’ll remember even with your last breath. We all (if we are lucky) get that one perfect moment that we know will never be repeated, no matter how much we might wish it otherwise.

 

I am not the only traveler
Who has not repaid his debt
I’ve been searching for a trail to follow again
Take me back to the night we metAnd then I can tell myself
What the hell I’m supposed to do
And then I can tell myself
Not to ride along with youI had all and then most of you
Some and now none of you
Take me back to the night we met
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do
Haunted by the ghost of you
Oh, take me back to the night we metWhen the night was full of terrors
And your eyes were filled with tears
When you had not touched me yet
Oh, take me back to the night we metI had all and then most of you
Some and now none of you
Take me back to the night we met
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do
Haunted by the ghost of you
Take me back to the night we met

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