Erika Gardner's Blog

This blog is delayed, delayed and then delayed again. It started as one thing (Danny Elfman) then went to something else (ZZ Top- RIP Frank Beard) and finally, I got the news. Well, we all got the news. She has left the building. The last universally loved person on earth has moved on. So, I thought last week’s blog would be about Dolly Parton.

Heaven has a new angel.

While I have loved the outpouring of love and memories from all over the world and from all walks of life, it is plain to me that many kind souls have celebrated her better and with more intimate knowledge that I could. So, I will simply say this… I first heard Coat of Many Colors when I was five in Fresno, California. It made me cry then and it makes me cry today…many decades later. Thank you, Dolly. Although I am a religious nomad, an agnostic wandering the spiritual landscape, I know that you are in Heaven with Jesus and Carl and everyone else you knew you would find waiting for you.

So, after so many twists and turns, what to write this week? (Because let’s face it, it’s been a minute since I posted.) Quite unexpectedly I found the answer on Facebook of all the unlikely places. I was doing a quick catch-up and I scrolled past an ad. Yep, an ad, an actual ad. The advertisement was for a duo who plays gothic, romantic, dark, moody music. On a lark I went to Spotify and I looked them up.

Ladies and gentlemen, color me happy and surprised. The name of this artist is Valentine Wolfe. They have a pretty big discography as they have been around since 2010. The pair consist of a soprano singer (gorgeous voice by the way) named Sarah Black and electric double bass player named Braxton Ballew. The haunting beauty of that electric bass simply draws you in and you are ready for a dark tale at midnight. This will be excellent music to write to. The two artists met in university. It looks like both have masters in some facet of music. Sarah also plays keyboards. They appear to reside in South Carolina. If I seem to be unsure regarding the band, it’s simply because these two are forging their own path and there isn’t a lot out there…yet. I hope that you’ll all check them out as they are lovely. In addition to this week’s featured song, I also recommend I Felt A Furneral and Lullaby. I’m planning a deep dive on them this week, but in the meantime- I hope that you enjoy them!

Be sure to check out their website: https://valentinewolfe.com/

 

 

Annabel Lee by Valentine Wolfe

She was a child- I was a child
In that kingdom by the sea
How cruelly then she was taken from me
My beautiful Annabel Lee

When death came in to steal her from me
I tried to put up a fight
I was no match for that figure cloaked in black
And I lost my bride to the night

She was singing at her piano
Such a beautiful sight to me
But blood has now consumed our lives
It is dripping from the keys

Let me have under her own hand
A letter bidding me goodbye
I may die, my heart will break
But I will say no more

Annabel Lee was the last complete poem by Edgar Allan Poe. Although written in 1849, it was not published until 1850, after his death. As with many of Poe’s works, it focuses on the death of a beautiful woman, someone taken far too soon. Poe had lost many significant women in his life: his mother, his foster mother and, of course, his wife Virginia who passed away in 1847 (two years before the poem’s writing). Many women have claimed or potentially could be considered to be the inspiration for Annabel Lee. I am, however, always a romantic and I like to think that he wrote this for Virginia whom he had loved when they were both so young and is the only one to be “my darling—my darling—my life and my bride.” One of my mother’s degrees is in English Literature and her books helped line our shelves. There were so many beautiful poems, but Annabel Lee always stuck with me. I think part of its charm is that unlike The Raven who famously said that the narrator would see his love “nevermore,” the narrator of Poe’s last poem is convinced that he and his love will see one another again, that nothing, not even demons can ever split them apart. They are bound together forever by their love “that was more than a love.”

 

Annabel Lee by Edgar Allan Poe

It was many and many a year ago,   In a kingdom by the sea,That a maiden there lived whom you may know   By the name of Annabel Lee;And this maiden she lived with no other thought   Than to love and be loved by me.I was a child and she was a child,   In this kingdom by the sea,But we loved with a love that was more than love—   I and my Annabel Lee—With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven   Coveted her and me.And this was the reason that, long ago,   In this kingdom by the sea,A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling   My beautiful Annabel Lee;So that her highborn kinsmen came   And bore her away from me,To shut her up in a sepulchre   In this kingdom by the sea.The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,   Went envying her and me—Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,   In this kingdom by the sea)That the wind came out of the cloud by night,   Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.But our love it was stronger by far than the love   Of those who were older than we—   Of many far wiser than we—And neither the angels in Heaven above   Nor the demons down under the seaCan ever dissever my soul from the soul   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side   Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,   In her sepulchre there by the sea—   In her tomb by the sounding sea.

The post Musical Monday- Annabel Lee by Valentine Wolfe appeared first on Erika Gardner.

This week’s blog features new music by Deep Purple, yes, you read that correctly, Deep-motherloving-Purple has a new album out. It’s titled SPLAT! which gave me a giggle. If you’ve followed this blog at all then you have heard me mourn that point in a band’s career when they no longer put out new music. The growing point, the meristem of their hearts, has frozen over and we are left with aging musicians endlessly touring with their greatest hits slowly growing more and more stale. It’s sad. So when I stumbled upon the fact that Deep Purple released a new album on July 3rd, I was more than a little impressed. I mean, come on, Ian Gillian and Roger Glover are both closing in on eight-one (this month and November respectively) and I have to say, despite only possessing about 30% of his sight (When A Blind Man Cries takes on a whole new meaning now), Gillian’s voice is STILL on point and the bass lines on this album are the usual solid, aggressive Glover lines that we know and love just…fresh. Ian Paice (still on the skins) and Don Airey (their keyboardist since 2002 after the departure of the one and only Jon Lord) are both rocking seventy-eight. The baby of the group is Simon McBride age forty-seven who stepped in for long time guitarist Steve Morse once Morse retreated to care for his wife who was battling stage 4 cancer.

Side note- I know that last sentence will generate two logical questions.

Is Morse’s wife still alive? Sadly, no. Janine lost her battle with cancer on February 4th 2024 with Steve by her side. While I am not a huge fan of Morse’s playing despite his participation in two bands that I revere (DP and Kansas) his tribute to his wife, the love they shared and his decision to spend every moment that he could with her in her last days touch me more than I can say and I admire him greatly. His tribute to her is worthy of looking up.Why isn’t the legendary Ritchie Blackmore with DP? Oof. Much of this answer is my humble opinion after years of asking myself the same. Blackmore and Gillian do NOT like each other. There’s respect certainly, but they do not do well together. The world of rock & roll has had to deal with the fact that we lost Blackmore long ago to a life as a minstrel in the universe of Magic Vagina (my pet name for his wife, musician & singer Candice Night). I hope they are both very happy.  Sadly for Night, Lorena McKinnitt exists, sorry but there it is.

Apologies to digress so wildly, but I was sure those questions would come up and now I’ve saved you having to go down two rabbit holes. Back to SPLAT!.  The great thing about the album is that it possesses the hallmarks that have always defined Deep Purple while having modern overtones. These musicians are still learning, seeking, still inspired. It’s a wonderful thing.

The song that I’ve chosen to highlight, Sacred Land, for me has echoes of Sabaton, Yes (the Trevor Rabin years), some Kamelot and even Rush. Traditionally Purple has explefied blues based rock & roll with a hard edge, yet on this album they lean a bit more toward power metal, which pleaseth me greatly, although “metal” is putting it a bit too strongly. Important to note that I am NOT mad at McBride’s axe work, the guitar soars, but with his own signature, not Blackmore’s, not’s Morse’s. The group is joined on an August & September US tour of twenty-four dates by Starship and Kansas after which they head over to Europe. Once there Jayler will be their Special Guest and, interestingly, their opener will be Mammoth. In case you didn’t know, that last band is fronted by one strapping young Wolfgang Van Halen, yes, son of the late great Eddie.

Now, let’s turn the volume up and raise our glasses to Deep Purple. Still growing, still creating, still giving the fans what they want!

 

The post Musical Monday- Sacred Land (NEW!) by Deep Purple appeared first on Erika Gardner.

I’ve just returned from ten days in Ireland…exhale. It’s my fourth visit and one of my longest. Damn, I love that place! So…apologies for the radio silence. No blogs or Substacks for a bit. I was there with my three kids and their significant others as well as my boyfriend. Glorious! I can’t promise it won’t happen again. Sometimes you just have to be in the moment. Besides, life and living is where all the other stories come from.

Anyhow… moving on to this piece. While in Dublin I had the amazing privilege and opportunity to see The Dropkick Murphys with my boyfriend, my son and his lovely girlfriend. To say this is a rare treat is the very definition of understatement. Before the show I even got to spend the evening with some dear friends who live in Dublin. What a night!

Needless to say, I arrived at the show in a fine mood, ready to have a grand ol’ time. I am sure right here that is where most reviews would drop off the proverbial cliff. Nope. Spoiler alert! Dropkick Murphys ROCK!!! Literally. Actually. Rock!

These guys are classics. They are a Celtic punk rock band from outside of Boston. To get to see them in Dublin, Ireland? Outstanding. They played traditional Irish instruments in addition to your basic hard rock fare: tin whistle, the Uilleann pipes (like bagpipes except using your elbow, “Uilleann” is actually Gaelic for elbow), the accordion, the fiddle and the mandolin. They also use Scottish bagpipes for big intros, because how can you not?

There are lots of ways that a favorite band can disappoint a fan. Might be lack of enthusiasm, could be set list choices, could be loss of voice, maybe the sound engineer screwed things up, the list goes on. None of these occurred. What I really enjoy about Dropkick Murphys is, being punks, they aren’t polished. They are passionate. So, the singing might not be classically trained multi-octave, but it’s heartfelt and I am welcome to, even encouraged, to sing along in my profoundly not-in-key way. It’s like being at the best block party ever, with thousands of your most outstandingly awesome buddies.

Please do yourself a favor and check this band out. As I have gotten older, I have watched so many artists whom I loved pass away. It’s important to find new songs, new groups. You need artists who are still making new music, not merely playing their golden oldies. Mind you, Dropkick Murphys are NOT new… or young…but they ARE fun!!!  They’ve put out four new albums in the last six years. Highly recommend taking in a show on the 2026 United States Apology Tour for the FantaFascist in the People’s House:

Upcoming Tour DatesSept 5, 2026: Pryor Creek, OK – Rocklahoma FestivalSept 23, 2026: Highland, CA – Yaamava’ TheaterNov 21, 2026: Christchurch, New Zealand – Wolfbrook ArenaNov 24, 2026: Auckland, New Zealand – Spark ArenaNov 28, 2026: Gosford, Australia – The Entertainment GroundsNov 29, 2026: Brisbane, Australia – Riverstage BrisbaneDec 1, 2026: Sydney, Australia – Sydney Opera House ForecourtDec 4, 2026: Perth, Australia – Red Hill Auditorium

 

The post And Now…For Something Completely Different- A Concert Review of The Dropkick Murphys appeared first on Erika Gardner.

A classic for sure, I think most of us can sing the lyrics to this tune right along with George Harrison. I chose this week’s song to give myself and all of us a little pick me up. After the grotesque displays of corruption, greed and cruelty displayed by the current administration  and its followers (as in cult followers because that’s what they are), I thought we could all use a palate cleanser and a reminder that the sun will  shine (metaphorically) upon our country again. This, too, shall pass.

Harrison wrote this song after an intensely stressful period in The Beatles’ musical career. Their manager, Brian Epstein, had recently passed away and the group was dealing with the financial changes and contract fall outs that resulted in the vacuum of Epstein’s death. Not to mention, the personal tensions and deterioration of their friendships were also taking a toll. Harrison decided to skip a particularly stressful meeting and instead walked through his friend Eric Clapton’s garden in Surrey. Winter was just loosing its grip on England and the garden was bathed in sunshine. For Harrison it was a welcome respite and he sat in happy contentment taking it all in. Eventually, he borrowed one of Clapton’s acoustic gardens and and sat gently playing as the lyrics flowed out of him.

The song was released on the Abbey Road album July 7th, 1969, fifty-seven years ago today.

Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo
Here comes the sun
And I say, “It’s all right”Little darlin’
It’s been a long, cold, lonely winter
Little darlin’
It feels like years since it’s been hereHere comes the sun, doo-doo-do
Here comes the sun
And I say, “It’s all right”Little darlin’
The smile’s returning to the faces
Little darlin’
It seems like years since it’s been hereHere comes the sun
Here comes the sun
And I say, “It’s all right”Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comesLittle darlin’
I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darlin’
It seems like years since it’s been clearHere comes the sun, doo-doo-doo
Here comes the sun
And I say, “It’s all right”Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo
Here comes the sun
It’s all right
It’s all right

The post Musical (Not Quite) Monday- Here Comes the Sun appeared first on Erika Gardner.

I remember those days. The days when I had all the answers, when I was the one who knew better. Those were the days when I could look into the eyes of my suffering friend and say with 100% certainty, “Oh girl, you need to leave him. It’s over. Kick him to the curb.” I remember how sincere I was. I wanted the best for my friend and for me it was very clear cut. Obviously the relationship was done, someone just needed to tell the other partner. Easy peasy.

Wow. Innocent child. Innocent me.

When my turn came, when I was full of doubts, falling out of love, seeing a therapist to try and figure out a path forward, I didn’t tell my girlfriends for a very long time. I am sure for many of them my divorce came out of left field. It had nothing to do with the level of trust or affection that I held for any of them. Once you start telling your closest friends how your partner is treating you behind closed doors then your friends will give you their honest and unfiltered opinion, especially once you tell them how YOU are feeling.

I hesitated again and again. I hated hurting my ex and, so by not being able to pull the trigger (metaphorically at least) and end things cleanly, I hurt him even more. I told so many lies, trying to be kind. There’s an old song whose chorus says, “You gotta be cruel to be kind in the right measure.” That’s what I would do differently. I wish I had ended things cleanly, none of this circling the drain for months on end. My biggest fear was always the kids. How much would this hurt them? What would they say? How would they feel? Would they ever forgive me? The stress, the trauma, the “what if’s,” the self doubt, and self loathing. Ugh. I did have friends toward the end telling me, “just leave, leave now.” I couldn’t or I wouldn’t. I was the deer frozen in the headlights. I was the chicken who couldn’t cross the line made of chalk. I hurt others around me and I hurt myself through this complete inability to function.

After some space and time and a whole lot of therapy, I can forgive myself. I really was trying everyday to do the best I could for the people around me. I made a lot of wrong steps, but God knows I was trying so hard, every damn day. Once I was free and no longer constantly under scrutiny, no longer traumatized I was finally able to hold my head up and see clearly. These lines sum it up perfectly:

 

I was always as free as I wanted to beBut I was just too scared to seeWho I could beThe singer and songwriter for this week’s song hails from Balingen in Southern Germany. He is inspired by American folk singers and songwriters and strives to emulate that sound.  You certainly cannot hear a German accent as you listen to this song.To everyone out there twisting and turning, in pain, confused, no one can tell you when to leave, when to cry “uncle.” I can, however, tell you to trust yourself and to trust the people around you. No matter how much you try to control the situation, to cushion their feelings, this is their journey, too. You can’t control their reactions. Just trust them. Trust you. You are free if you can be brave enough to see.

 

Lyrics für Prisoner von StumfolI was born in a prisonNo hope for escapeI got used to the silenceAs I stuck in my cageYou cannot miss what you have never seen beforeBut deep inside, you know there must be moreYou cannot miss what you have never seen beforeBut deep inside, you know there must be moreI heard a voiceBut I could not followIt was a languageDidn′t knowI’ve seen a lightAnd it used to blind meWas it realOr just a dream?No, you cannot miss what you have never seen beforeBut deep inside, you know there must be moreYou cannot miss what you have never seen beforeBut deep inside, you know there must be moreAnd as I leftNo one tried to stop meSo, I learnedI was always as free as I wanted to beI was always as free as a birdI was always as free as I wanted to beBut I was just too scared to seeWho I could beWriter(s): Christian Stumfol

The post Musical Monday- “Prisoner” The Path to Finding Freedom appeared first on Erika Gardner.

Today I would to introduce you, or reintroduce you, to one of my all-time favorite female vocalists. I recently had a friend post his favorite male singers and that spun my head down a rabbit hole. (By the way, the friend is fellow author Sean Finnegan who has a great first novel, Norcal, out and his next book Stubs, should be released later this year. I’m including a link to his Amazon author page below.)

https://www.amazon.com/stores/Sean-Finnegan/author/B00WH4NU36?ref=ap_rdr&shoppingPortalEnabled=true&ccs_id=59c6534a-94a5-4a20-993c-945b50f5540e

The rabbit hole centered around that one key word, FAVORITE. The voice might not be the most technically trained or possess the greatest range, but it’s a voice that really appeals to me. In other words, it is completely subjective. For my money, Debora Iyall of Romeo Void has one of those signature, grab your attention voices.

Romeo Void is an 80’s band from San Francisco that had about a six-year-run (1979 to 1985). I have always maintained that they deserved so much more than they received. They straddled this really eclectic, fun bridge over post-punk, New Wave, rock, pop kind of a vibe. Difficult to pigeon hole and uniquely their own style. The saxophone work by Benjamin Bossi in particular set Romeo Void apart and I’m not even much of a sax girl. I am including two of their more well known songs, A Girl In Trouble (Is A Temporary Thing) which cracked the Top 40 at #35 and Never Say Never. The later was featured in the 1984 film Reckless which incidentally starred a very young and ridiculously hot Aidan Quinn.

Iyall had all the usual qualities that our white, Christian male world loves to get judgey about, stacking the deck against her, and also against her band. Female? Check. Minority? Check (Iyall is a Native American of the Cowlitz tribe). A bodacious sister of size? Check. Unashamed of her sexuality? Check. Add to that she is not overtly religious and that she is politically active (at the age of 14 she was among the group of Native Americans who orchestrated the Occupation of Alcatraz in 1969) and her record company suits didn’t know what to do with her.

Romeo Void was doing pretty well for a new band. Their album sales were increasing and their concert tickets were selling out. However on what would be their last tour, the band was celebrating A Girl In Trouble breaking into the Bill Board Top 40 when two things helped stop the momentum. The record company wanted the creative, artsy group to produce more pop-driven singles and Debora needed to lose weight. When she said she liked herself just fine, Epic pulled their support mid-tour. No more radio station interviews, no more media support, no record company representative there as they rolled into town. Tired, overworked and feeling abandoned the group called it quits once the tour was finished, despite their music being more popular than ever. Now, as a fan, I never knew what happened until years later. I kept hoping there would be another album. No such luck.

 

 

The fate of such a creative group, who should have gone farther-that I wish had made more music, isn’t that hard to believe. After all, in 1982 when Never Say Never was released women had only had the ability to get a credit card in their own name for eight years (1974), same thing for a mortgage in their own name and the no-fault divorce that effectively freed women from unhappy marriages by allowing them to instigate proceedings came about in 1969, just thirteen years prior (although divorces were granted to the rich and famous or in cases of extreme abuse much earlier). In the convention of the time, if she wanted to make it in the industry she should have done what so many women did and starve herself, use weight loss drugs, whatever it took. Karen Carpenter is remembered as a beloved icon, but she’s a dead icon. Debora Iyall was a pain in the record company’s ass but she’s still alive, still singing, still making her art at 72.

This was a time that hadn’t seen a Lizzo, a Bebe Rehax, a Beth Ditto or a Netta Barzilai. No, Iyall helped break a path for these women still to come. Debora is a self-described “fat chick,” a minority, an independent, articulate, intelligent woman who stood her ground and like so many other pioneers, she paid for it. So did her band mates, but man oh man, can she sing!

 

 

The post Musical Monday- How Times Have Changed… Debora Iyall of Romeo Void appeared first on Erika Gardner.

I know, I know… it’s not even remotely Monday, but, hey, I figure if the Republicans can call themselves the party of “family values” then I can put a Musical Monday out on a Wednesday.

Thursday May 21st, 2026 was a momentous day on two fronts. First, and clearly most importantly, my daughter turned 25. She also achieved her private pilot’s license (yes, she’s a badass). However, as VERY proud as I am of her accomplishments, that is not what this blog is about.

May 21st also marked the end of The Late Show With Stephen Colbert. As probably everyone reading this knows, Late Night was the #1 late night show for nine years running. CBS upon canceling the show claimed that the decision was due to “financial considerations.” Considering that CBS’ parent company was in negotiations for an $8 billion merger between (themselves) Paramount Global, and Skydance Media. This merger needed the Trump Administration’s approval and it’s common knowledge that Trump and Colbert hate one another, primarily because Trump does not have a brain and Colbert possess first class gray matter. So, CBS, in just one of a series of stupendously STUPID decisions decided to pay up 16 million on a baseless shakedown by Trump (the equivalent a bully taking your lunch money), compromise any journalistic integrity of their flagship show 60 Minutes and, oh yes, cancel their number one late night show. Financial considerations, sure, 8 billion of them. Financial considerations as in the show not generating revenue? I’ll let the amazing David Letterman sum that up, “I’m just going to go on record as saying: They’re lying … They’re lying weasels.”

This past year has hurt my heart and tested my ability to be shocked. No lie, no crime, no obscenity attributed to Donald Trump shocks me any more. He has proven himself in my opinion to be a little, tiny, petty individual. I cannot call him a man. He does not live up to my definition of a man, let alone a human being. To me he is a pathetic coward. Even when he is “winning,” he is still horrible. In contrast, Stephen Colbert has been gracious, upbeat and inspirational. He used his show’s demise to celebrate everything that is great about America: our diversity, our freedom of expression, our shared community. Colbert also took his last few weeks and turned his misfortune into an opportunity to raise funds for an outstanding cause, raising 2.5 million for Chef José Andrés’ World Central Kitchen that provides meals in response to humanitarian and climate crises. It’s one of my favorite causes as well, especially as our Idiot-in-Chief saw fit to cut FEMA from the federal budget (well, most of it) as well as eliminate US AID which has had disastrous results, but that is another blog.

So, why this song for Mr. Colbert? Well, the sanguine is an adjective that primarily means cheerfully optimistic, hopeful, or confident, especially in a difficult or bad situation. Historically derived from the Latin word for blood (sanguis) and traditionally it can also refer to a healthy, reddish complexion or a deep blood-red color. Stephen Colbert conducted himself as the adult in the room (well, a whimsical adult, but an adult nonetheless) in contrast to Trump’s petulant toddler (even allegedly to said toddler’s diaper). Basically the song tips its metaphorical cap to someone who holds on to their joy. Ville Valo or VV is a Finnish musician from the group HIM. He’s everything you want from a goth, but he’s of a more modern set and, I hope, will be with us for a long time. DO check out his music.

And, Mr. Colbert…I salute you! Can’t wait to see where this takes you!

 

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I hate that so many of the blogs I write out of necessity begin with a cliche, but it seems unavoidable any time one speaks of a universal theme or truth. This week I want to talk about and remember the late, very much missed, Chris Cornell. My cliche is on the nature of time. We’ve all felt it; the way time drags at the DMV versus the speed at which a vacation flies by. Time is fickle. It seems completely unreal to me that today marks the ninth anniversary of the passing of Chris Cornell. I remember receiving a text from an old friend. It simply read “Chris Cornell!” and my heart sank because I knew it could only mean one thing. Cornell’s death in Detroit on May 18th, 2017 was ruled a suicide by hanging. It was a waste and a complete tragedy for all who knew, loved and admired him.

To be honest, and those who know me will nod in agreement, Chris Cornell is not in my immediate wheel house. I’m more of a power metal girl. He was your definitive grunge, post-grunge, psychedelic rock star, but he was also hard rock and that’s the intersection. We meet at hard rock. He made a lot of music and many songs that I love. He contributed to our mutual community experience. Those songs penetrated our shared consciousness and became part of our day-to-day language. Cornell helped write and sing the soundtrack to many of our personal movies.

I frequently say (to anyone who will listen) that you simply never know what battles another human being is fighting on a daily basis. Here was this man blessed with an almost four octave range voice (from C 2 to A 5), huge gifts musically, intelligent, tall, a good friend to many, blessed with three children, handsome, and an actual rock star. On the other hand he battled depression, anxiety and substance abuse (though he became progressively more clean and sober throughout his life). So despite all the fame, the money, the adulation he earned, I would never want to trade places with him.

And the fall-out continued after Cornell’s death. Just two months later Cornell’s close friend Chester Bennington (lead singer of Linkin’ Park) was found dead by hanging on July 20th, Chris’ birthday. Bennington had taken his friend’s death hard, saying that he could not imagine the world without him (Cornell).

I reflect upon Chris Cornell and Chester Bennington often, especially now that the guard rails are off our government and funding to treat mental health issues has been cut to the bone. There are so many beautiful souls that we lose, every day, to some variation of mental illness and its fallout whether it might be suicide, overdose from self-medication, domestic violence, whatever. We as a society are failing our own people. I’m talking mental health, children in ICE custody, families unable to afford the cost of living, our citizens cut down in their neighborhood streets (Andrew Pretti and Renée Good), the list goes on.

When it came time to choose this week’s song, there was a lot to choose from, especially with a voice like Chis Cornell’s. While customarily a baritone, he could easily sing as a tenor then slide into a falsetto. He could snarl, scream, and rasp. He truly had the chops. I chose Say Hello to Heaven by The Temple of The Dog which, ironically, was a salute by Cornell to his own dear friend Andrew Wood who died of an overdose. Wood was the lead singer of the group Mother Love Bone and the name of the tribute band Cornell founded to honor his friend was taken from a line in the Mother Love Bone song Man of Golden Words, “seems I’ve been living in the temple of the dog.”

If you would like to hear some of the inspiration for Say Hello to Heaven you can check out the link below which is to a previous Musical Monday on Mother Love Bone’s Man of Golden Words, still one of my favorite songs ever.

Musical Monday- Man of Golden Words

LyricsPlease, mother mercy
Take me from this place
And the long-winded curses
I hear in my headThe words never listen
And teachers, oh, they never learn
My warmth from the candle
Though I feel too cold to burnHe came from an island
Then he died from the street
And he hurt so bad like a soul breakin’
But he never said nothin’ to me, yeahA’say hello to heaven, heaven, heaven
Say hello to heaven, heaven, heaven, yeahNew like a baby, lost like a prayer
The sky was your playground
But the cold ground was your bed
Oo, I said, poor Stargazer
She’s got no tears in her eyes
But fool like a whisper
She knows that love heals all wounds with timeNow it seem like too much love
Is never enough, yeah, you better seek out
Another road ’cause this one has ended abrupt, ohA’say hello to heaven, heaven, heaven
Say hello to heaven, heaven, heaven, yeah
Say hello to heaven, heaven, heaven, yeahI, I never wanted
To write these words down for you
With the pages of phrases
Of all the things we’ll never do
Hey, so I blow out, out the candle and I put you to bed
Since you can’t say to me now
How the dog broke your bone
There’s just one thing left to be saidA’say hello to heaven, to heaven, yeah
Say hello to heaven, to heaven, yeah
Say hello to heaven, to heaven, yeah, yeah
Say hello to heaven, to heaven, yeah, yeah, yeah, ooh!

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I’m always excited about my Musical Monday posts- simply put, they are fun to write and even more fun to research. Music is a huge part of my day to day. Whether I’m writing, working out, driving, or simply doing chores, I almost always have something going. That said, this week’s post gives me EXTRA pleasure to share with you. Sanjay Subramanian is a friend of mine. He and his beautiful muse, Nandita, are the parents of a very amazing runner I coached in his middle school and high school years. So it comes at no shock to yours truly that a man who has so many beautiful things in his life would express his heart and soul through music in such a profound way.

I always knew that Sanjay was a kindred spirit when it came to music. He has the street cred of attending plenty of shows and can discuss the minutia of rock and roll history with the ease of a life long fan. I also knew that he played guitar (always impressive). What I did not know was that he is actually an artist himself.

I’m sharing his first two singles. Both are on YouTube, Amazon Music, Apple Music, Tidal and Spotify. I’m going to go down a mini rabbit hole here but it’s information I think that music fans should have if they want to support independent artists. There is a bit of controversy as to which of these platforms pays the artists best. Spotify has a bad rap in this category and with good reason. On paper Amazon edges Spotify out. UNLESS you are using Amazon’s included Prime Music tier, that really cuts down the payment to the artist. If you are one of those subscribers then, stream through Spotify.  That said both services are on the low end for artist revenue. Apple Music pays artists better than either Amazon or Spotify. The best paying streaming service for artists however, is Tidal. That said, it’s also the priciest for the listener. For Sanjay’s sake, and all those other indies out there, I would say use Tidal. In the end, the very BEST way to support artists is to buy their actual CD’s and go see their live performances, but streaming is a great start. If you are a YouTube enthusiast then please “like” and  “subscribe.” That helps raise visibility a great deal. As an independent artist myself, I would also add that part of the greatest satisfaction lies in seeing one’s stories, whether on a page or in a song, out in the world for people to enjoy.

Now, back to the fun stuff- the songs themselves! The first single is Out of Teens. Sanjay plays this with a classic Americana spirit, the roots of our rock and roll shared past. There’s the acoustic guitar and a lovely harmonica. His lyrics evoke a bitter-sweet nostalgia of precious days gone, days we wish we could stretch out forever, but that’s why they’re so precious. They are ephemeral.

The second single is How About It which has a delightful optimistic tone to it (especially refreshing in these divisive times). Both of these songs are easy to sing along to and elicit some of the best bits about our shared society. The idea of moving forward with a smile while still treasuring our memories. Slip these two beauties into your mixes and watch- you’ll be singing along as well!

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Sometimes bands that do not deserve the buzz that they get make it, make it HUGE. Then there are those bands that deserved better, that more people should have heard their music, sung their songs. AXE is definitely in the later category. This song, Battles, popped up on my Spotify mix and I love it. The name AXE tickled my brain and as I researched them I realized that I did remember them on the periphery of my mind from days gone by. I remember their single Rock-n-roll Party in the Streets. It wasn’t a favorite but I do remember them. Now this song, Battles? This I never heard. I would have remembered this one. You have to ask yourself, how many bands made it or didn’t because of what the record company decided to release as a single? Now, there are plenty of stories of dj’s deciding to play the B side of a record and thus creating a hit in the process. These days we don’t have disc jockeys and we are just barely rediscovering vinyl, so that’s not a likely path to greatness.

I love this song so I am including two versions for you to YouTube to your heart’s content. The first is the audio of the song back in the day. Originally released on April 29th, 1979, I wasn’t even ten yet. I guess I can forgive myself for missing it. Billy Barth was the songwriter and lead guitarist/vocalist for this track. Dang though, what a beautiful song. It brings me back to the mantra (and I am loosely paraphrasing) not to judge because everyone around you, and I mean everyone, is fighting battles that you cannot see. Don’t judge. We are doing all we can.

The second version is a live one that I stumbled upon. It’s Billy Barth still: older, slower, but the guitar is still gorgeous even as he struggles to find a pick to play. Still a lovely song. In many ways, the second version is far superior with all that grit and life experience behind the words originally written in youthful swagger.

Don’t judge…we’re all fighting battles.

I often dream of nights I’d sit
And watch the rising sun
And I spoke to you of life
And of the battles I had won
A warm wind blowing memories
Makes me long for home
But a cold wind blows much harder and
Makes me wanna roamLet me go from this lonely land
Before my dreams all vanish
Like water in the sand
Let me run from this lonely place
Before my dreams are shattered
By love I can’t eraseI search to find the meaning
Of the path that I am on
And I hope that my direction
Will not make walk alone
I stumble for the answers
To the questions that remain
Around the world, I’ve touched the sun
And now I’m back againLet me go from this lonely land
Before my dreams all vanish
Like water in the sand
Let me run from this lonely placeBefore my dreams are shattered.Let me go from this lonely land
Before my dreams all vanish
Like water in the sand
Let me run from this lonely place
Before my dreams are shattered
By love I can’t eraseLet me go from this lonely land
Before my dreams all vanish
Like water in the sand
Let me run from this lonely place
Before my dreams are shattered
By love I can’t erase

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