Michelle Vines

“However, I would like to point out to the general public that how things look on the surface is not always representative of what’s going on underneath. And when it comes to Aspies, there is a huge difference between being self-focused and actually being selfish. Allow me to explain… I would say that being self-focused, in an Aspie way, means that we are in our own little world and are sometimes so preoccupied by thoughts about ourselves or our own interests that we fail to fully notice those around us to the socially acceptable extent. Whereas I would define being selfish as being fully aware of others’ wants and needs, yet choosing to put yourself first anyway. I may be self-focused—perhaps a little more often than I should be—but I am by no means selfish. In fact, I can be very compassionate and selfless, especially when it comes to the most important people in my life, such as my family and especially my children. So why, in my life, have people assumed the worst? I guess the answer has to do with inattentiveness and the way that people interpret that. We Aspies do have a tendency to get caught up in our own thoughts. We daydream and think about the topics that interest and inspire us. We get frustrated when others interrupt our thoughts and plans. Perhaps we fail to pick up the signals from other people indicating that they might want or need something from us. Or we don’t realize the contributions that others are putting in and that we are expected to also contribute in a similar way.”
― Michelle Vines, Asperger's on the Inside