W.E. Larson's Blog

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted something. I’ve been busy with some software projects and haven’t had much time for blogging or writing. Nonetheless, the work on Cog and the Copper Dragon is slowly creeping along with the outline done and a chunk of the first draft written. Progress is being made, just not quite as quick as I’d like.

The post A Long Time appeared first on W.E. Larson.

The Greek gods were real and are still very much around today. That’s the concept behind The Lightning Thief, and it’s a good one. I mean re-imagining Greek mythology into the modern world seems like a treasure trove of possibilities.

So the concept is great, but what about the story? I think you have to consider the target age group here. For kids, I think they are going to find an action-packed story with fun characters that have some sass. For adults, I think there are going to find the story and characters kinda shallow. Since it’s a book for kids, I can’t knock it if I think kids will like it. So I think it does well here too.

I have similar feelings about the setting and the use of the rich mythology. Kids will probably love it, but adults will probably feel it’s a bit farcical. Once again, I can’t be too critical about it.

I guess that’s a disclaimer of sorts, so let’s talk about the book. The full title of the book is “The Lightning Thief : Percy Jackson and the Olympians”, so you’d be safe to assume the main character is Percy Jackson. He’s a twelve year old kid who has always struggled academically and socially, being moved from school to school. The story is told in first person from his POV. To me, his voice seems a bit older than his age, but I don’t think it’ll be a big problem for kids.

Anyhow, he finds out that is father is an Olympian god, making him half-god, half-mortal, a hero in other words. This comes with good points, like special abilities, and bad points, being a magnet for monsters.

I’m not sure how to go on without giving away a bunch, so let’s just say there’s a lot of action as monsters are battled and quests quested. It’s a great story for kids, especially if they like action, but it doesn’t have a lot of depth.

The post Lightning Thief Review appeared first on W.E. Larson.

“Do you know how to scramble eggs, Mrs. Valdon?”

“Yes, of course.”

“To use Mr. Goodwin’s favorite locution, one will get you ten that you don’t. I’ll scramble eggs for your breakfast and we’ll see. Tell me forty minutes before you’re ready.”

Her eyes widened. “Forty minutes?”

“Yes. I knew you didn’t know.”

— Nero Wolfe and Lucy Valdon in The Mother Hunt by Rex Stout

I’ll admit it, I didn’t know how to punctuate dialogue when I started writing. I thought I  knew, but there’s more to writing dialogue than putting quotation marks around the stuff characters say. My punctuation would let people know which parts were spoken and which were not, but, like Mr. Wolfe would tell me about my scrambled eggs, an editor would tell me that I didn’t know how to do it. I’ve learned a lot about punctuating this dialogue stuff, and I’d like to share it. I’m going to keep the explanations brief and provide some links for more information. This is more like a cheat sheet than an extensive guide.

The Most Simple Case – Dialogue Only
“This is good cheese.”

All the punctuation goes inside the quotes. That’s all there is to it. Exclamation points and question marks work exactly the same.

“This is great cheese!”
“Are you sure this is cheese?”

 

Speaking Attributions and Actions

However, dialogue usually has other stuff with it that tells you who is speaking. Something that tells you who is speaking is a speaking attribution. It can also be mixed with actions that don’t tell you who is speaking, but still makes it obvious who is.

Attribution“That’s such a sweet puppy,” Sue cooed.
Action“That’s such a sweet puppy.” Sue smiled.

The verb in the speaking attribution has to be something that produces the words in the dialogue, so the verbs will be things like: said, shouted, asked, replied, yelled, whispered, grumbled, so on and so forth. It’s an easy mistake some actions for speaking attributions like smiling in the action above, but Sue’s smile isn’t making those words so it’s an action and needs to be punctuated as such.

 

Dialogue with a Speaking Attribution

When the attribution follows the quotes, then use a comma. The ‘he’ shouldn’t be capitalized since it isn’t the beginning of the sentence.

“This is good cheese,” he said.

When the attribution leads the quotes, then use a comma. However, treat the beginning of the quoted section as the beginning of a new sentence so ‘This’ is capitalized.

She said, “This is good cheese.”

When the attribution is in the middle of the quoted words, then use commas to offset the quotes. The first comma should be in the quotes and second should be before the quotes.

“This,” John said, “is good cheese.”

 

Dialogue with Actions

When you combine the quoted speech with an action. The action should be placed into its own sentence instead of being a clause attached with a comma. Likewise the dialogue is all in it’s own sentence as well. Like stand-alone dialogue all the punctuation for the quoted speech is in the quotes.

“This is good cheese.” She placed another slice on a cracker.
He licked his lips. “This is good cheese.”

But what if you want the action in the middle of the sentence? In this case the action is like a parenthetical phrase and should be offset with commas like such.  It ends up being exactly the same as a speaking attribution, but for different reasons.

“This,” she took a bite, “is some good cheese.”

Another way to interrupt speech with action is to use em-dashes like such. The dashes should both be outside the quotes.

“This”–she took a bite–“is some good cheese.”

Exclamations Points and Question Marks

The rule for exclamation points and question marks is that you may use them in place of commas when appropriate.

So when used with a speaking attribution, remember to not capitalize the attribution when the exclamation point or question mark is replacing a comma.

“What kind of cheese is that?” she asked.
“What kind of cheese is that?” She pointed at the block next to Jeff.
“Eat that cheese before we run out of time!” he shouted.
“Eat that cheese before we run out of time!” He pointed to the wheel of chedder.

Unfinished Speech

Sometimes a speaking character will get interrupted or will trail off. There is punctuation for both cases.

In the event that a character is interrupted or otherwise ends his or her dialogue abruptly, use an em-dash to indicate this.

“I rather like Toronto in the–” John caught sight of the block of cheese and came to an abrupt halt.

If the speech ends because the character trails off, then use an ellipsis to indicate it. When this is followed by a speaking attribution, then put a comma after the ellipsis.

“I’d rather…,” Sue said, bemused. “Is that cheese?”

If the ellipsis is followed by an action attribution, then the sentence should simply end as normally done with an ellipsis. If the fragment is not grammatically complete, then the terminal punctuation is omitted. However, if the fragment is grammatically complete, then the terminal punctuation should proceed the ellipsis.

Grammatically incomplete:

“I’d rather…” Sue sniffed the air, bemused. “Is that cheese?”

Grammatically complete:

“I’d never go there again!…” Sue sniffed the air, bemused. “Is that cheese?”

 

Multiple Speakers

This is a straightforward rule. When you change speakers, start a new paragraph. The snippet that opens this blog post is an excellent example.

“Do you know how to scramble eggs, Mrs. Valdon?”

“Yes, of course.”

“To use Mr. Goodwin’s favorite locution, one will get you ten that you don’t. I’ll scramble eggs for your breakfast and we’ll see. Tell me forty minutes before you’re ready.”

Her eyes widened. “Forty minutes?”

“Yes. I knew you didn’t know.”

Multiple Paragraphs in a Single Quote

In this case, you start each paragraph in the quote with a quotation mark, but only end the last paragraph with a quotation mark.

“Hundreds of types of cheese from various countries are produced. Their styles, textures and flavors depend on the origin of the milk (including the animal’s diet), whether they have been pasteurized, the butterfat content, the bacteria and mold, the processing, and aging. Herbs, spices, or wood smoke may be used as flavoring agents. The yellow to red color of many cheeses, such as Red Leicester, is produced by adding annatto. Other ingredients may be added to some cheeses, such as black pepper, garlic, chives or cranberries.

“For a few cheeses, the milk is curdled by adding acids such as vinegar or lemon juice. Most cheeses are acidified to a lesser degree by bacteria, which turn milk sugars into lactic acid, then the addition of rennet completes the curdling. Vegetarian alternatives to rennet are available; most are produced by fermentation of the fungus Mucor miehei, but others have been extracted from various species of the Cynara thistle family. Cheesemakers near a dairy region may benefit from fresher, lower-priced milk, and lower shipping costs.

“Cheese is valued for its portability, long life, and high content of fat, protein, calcium, and phosphorus. Cheese is more compact and has a longer shelf life than milk, although how long a cheese will keep depends on the type of cheese; labels on packets of cheese often claim that a cheese should be consumed within three to five days of opening. Generally speaking, hard cheeses, such as parmesan last longer than soft cheeses, such as Brie or goat’s milk cheese. The long storage life of some cheeses, especially when encased in a protective rind, allows selling when markets are favorable.”

 

Quoting Inside Quotes

Use single quotes for when a character is quoting someone else and put a space between the single quote and double quote when they run together.

“She always used to ask, ‘Why do you like cheese so much?'”

Check out this link with loads of good information about how to quote dialog: http://theeditorsblog.net/2010/12/08/punctuation-in-dialogue/

Please let me know if anything is wrong. I want my guide to be as accurate as I can make it, and I’m not a grammar expert. I can go back and add or edit it as time permits to make it even better–like a manuscript.

The post Punctuating Dialogue appeared first on W.E. Larson.

I found this story to be a quite enjoyable listen. It’s set in an alternative version of WWI with the warring powers divided by technology as well as politics.  In this alternative world, Britain, Russia, and France use fabricated animals to power their society and wage war and are called Darwinists. Meanwhile, Germany and Austria-Hungary use steel, engines, and fuel and are called Clankers. There are walking tanks and battleships, zeppelins, and aeroplanes on the Clanker side and living airships, tiger-crossbreds, messenger lizards on the Darwinist side.

The story follows two main characters, both fifteen years old. One is a British girl by the name of Deryn who has disguised herself as a boy to join the British Air Service. Through skill and some luck she gains the position of Midshipman on a gigantic living airship called the Leviathan. In addition to her ship duties, she also is at the service of lady scientist, Dr. Nora Barlow, on a mysterious mission that requires the Leviathan to transport her to the Ottoman Empire.

The other main character is Alek, the fifteen year old son of an assassinated Austro-Hungarian Archduke who is being hunted by the Germans.  Like in the real WWI, the assassination of Alek’s father is the spark that sets off the war. Alek, however, wasn’t an actual person in real history.

The first half of the novel or so is spent introducing these characters as Alek and the men protecting him flee and fight the Germans, and Deryn settles into becoming part of the Leviathan crew. Eventually their paths cross and the action notches up as they become unlikely allies.  I liked the writing, which felt breezy and fun. Deryn in particular is quite enjoyable to read, especially when she starts to interact with the clever and observant Dr. Barlow.  Alek isn’t quite as interesting. He has the challenge of adjusting from a life of luxury and safety to being on the run, but it lacked the fun of Deryn’s sections.

Once the paths do cross, the energy of the novel picks up and Alek’s development does as well as he starts to take command from his protectors and deal with the loss of his parents.  Don’t get me wrong though, it’s mostly action from this point on.

The novel doesn’t really come to an end. They escape the immediate dangers, but nothing is really concluded and their are many mysteries left as well as Deryn’s burgeoning attraction to Alek complicated by the fact that Alek doesn’t know she’s a girl. There are two more books in the series, so you’ll need to pick them up to really complete the story. I might read the next one at some point, but I’m trying to sample different authors right now so it won’t be anytime soon.

Overall, I’d say this is a good, fun read. It feels like a middle-grade book to me in terms of the characters, plot, and reading level. There’s some violence here and soldiers do die. It’s set during a war after all. Nothing gruesome though. If you have an interest in steampunk, then you’ll want to pick it up.

Age Group:
MG – Middle Grade


Explicit:
Some Violence


My Rating:

The post Leviathan Review appeared first on W.E. Larson.

A new page is available in the Cog’s World section of the blog about monorails. There’s a steam-powered monorail in Cog and the Steel Tower, and steam-powered monorails have existed in our world too.

Check it out here: Monorails.

Of course, it’s hard to mention Monorails and not think of the Monorail song from The Simpsons.

 

The post Monorail! appeared first on W.E. Larson.

I finished Fablehaven and, as I suspected, I found it enjoyable. As the first book of the series, it has the job of introducing lots of fantastical elements and it does so through the eyes of through the thirteen (I think that’s right) year old Kendra and her little brother, Seth. Though, mostly through Kendra. I like the cautious Kendra, but I found Seth a little irritating as he completely disregards safety time and time again. Doesn’t the kid ever learn anything?

Anyhow, I thought the author, Brandon Mull, does a great job of introducing this world of magical creatures bit by bit and providing a sense of wonder through his young protagonists. It’s good pacing for this sort of story where there is a lot to discover.

Character development is decent. There’s a sense of Kendra learning to be brave when she needs to, but I feel like the author has left plenty of potential for more growth in the next books of the series.

There’s a little bit of violence, but nothing I’d worry about. Any story with danger and action is bound to have a little and this is very mild. Overall, I don’t think there is any content of concern for young readers. This is a great read for middle-graders who like some fantasy and adventure. It can be an entertaining read for older readers too, but it does feel like a book for kids so I can see older readers wanting more that what’s there. I enjoyed it, but I’m writing middle-grade fiction so I have an interest in this kind of kidlit other adults don’t.

Next up is going to be ‘Leviathan’ by Scott Westerfeld

Age Group:
MG – Middle Grade


Explicit:
Mild Violence


My Rating:

The post Fablehaven Review appeared first on W.E. Larson.

I finished Updraft and it was a great read.

The start of the show is the world-building. Fran Wilde has created a unique and fascinating world for her characters. The only world they know is their city made of living bone towers jutting out of a permanent layer of clouds that conceals the world below. What is down there? What exactly is the bone city? There are many exciting questions some of which get answered and some of which will have to wait for the next book. What is quickly evident is that at some point long in the past, the people had to climb up the towers to survive.  Now they live in the sky and use silk wings to fly on the winds. There is tremendous world-building.

The story follows an older teenage named Kirit as she attempts to pass her wing-test that will let her fly between the towers on her own and begin to apprentice as a trader like her mother. Things get complicated and she ends up learning many things about the city and herself. By and large the characters are well-drawn with believable motivations and distinct personalities. One of the things I really enjoyed was the obvious ambition of Kirit’s mother.

If there is a weakness, and it’s far from fatal, I think it lies in the plot which slows down in the middle and relies a little too much on conversations to convey information. I got a little concerned about the story around that middle part, but things get back on track and overall I found it an excellent read.  So a minor hiccup, but mostly it was great. I’m going with 4.5 stars.

Check out my ratings post to see how I come up with my stars.

A quick note on the language. We’re talking about one or two uses of a swear word for poop in reference to actual poop. I debated if I should mention it at all, but the word is there.

Age Group:
YA – Young Adult


Explicit:
Very Mild Language and Mild Violence


My Rating:

 

The post Updraft Review appeared first on W.E. Larson.

I’m about to post my first review of a book on this blog so I figure I should explain what my ratings mean. I’m planning to include 3 ratings for each book. The first is my estimate of the audience type: MG – For Middle Grade, YA – For Young Adult, AD – Adult.  The next is notes on explicit content. Finally I have my overall five-star rating.

Here’s what that five-star rating means to me.

1-star
Dreadful. I didn’t enjoy this book at all and I likely didn’t finish it.


2-star
Meh. It had some good moments, but mostly I didn’t enjoy reading it.


3-star
Okay. There were things that bothered me about, but I’m not regretting the read.


4-star
Good. I really enjoyed this book. There were flaws here and there that hurt the story for me, but overall it was a good read.


5-star
Great. I really enjoyed every bit of the story and looked forward to getting back to it when I had to stop. This doesn’t mean I think the story was perfect, but the flaws didn’t bother me.

So at the end of the review, there will be a table of ratings like this.

Age Group:
YA – Young Adult


Explicit:
Mild Language and Violence


My Rating:

The post What my Review Ratings Mean appeared first on W.E. Larson.

Spoilers ahead!

This is my last commute-and-post for Updraft since I finished the book. Kirit and Wick get to the top of the Spire and start to organize the Singers and tower flyers into a defense against the released Skymouths. For the first time in a very long time, the whole city is united as Singers and people from every tower work together to save the city. Even Nat takes to the sky despite his injuries. People look to Kirit for leadership and she takes up the responsibility.

After leading efforts to net several Skymouths, the largest of the creatures comes after her. She fights with the beast, finally firing an arrow through its eye, fatally injuring it. However, it wraps her in its tentacles as it starts to fall and she’s pulled down with it. Kirit blacks out.

She regains consciousness as she’s found by Wick and Nat. Apparently the monster landed on the broken tower of Lyft. I’m guessing its soft mass cushioned Kirit’s landing leaving her with just a broken leg. She gets some new wings from somebody and flys to the top of the Spire. There she joins her voice to the voices of people on all the towers as they create a new song of a united city.

My final review will be coming up soon.

The post Updraft: Update 10 appeared first on W.E. Larson.

Spoilers Ahead!

A lot has happened, but I don’t think it’ll take long to sum up. Kirit, Ellna, Wick, Nat, and Tobiat agree to take down Rommul, and decide the best way to do this is to have Kirit challenge Rommul. The problem is that she needs to get into the Spire and then get to Rommul in person so she can challenge him before being captured. Wick informs her that Rommul is still injured from his fight with Taren and is vulnerable. Kirit fixes up a makeshift set of wings from her damaged ones and the ones she brought to Ellna.

Kirit sneaks into the Spire, using a secret panel, and gets to her father to help get the support of the Windbeaters. That goes well, but she still needs to get to Rommul at the top of the Spire without getting captured and her makeshift wings were damaged getting into the Spire. She goes to the Skymouth pens and cuts off the skin of freshly dead Skymouths to create a smelly cloak of invisibility. Then she raises herself up the Spire in a bucket on a pulley.

She says hidden as she gets to the top of the Spire where the counsel is. There she challenges Rommul. Rommul wants her to be thrown into a cell, but he is trapped by tradition and enough Singers oppose him that he can’t get out of it. However, Sellus steps up to take the challenge for him. Wick starts to do the same for Kirit, but she stops him. Kirit needs wings and several people offer her theirs, but Wick holds out the wings of Kirit’s mother and she takes those.

Instead of just fighting Sellus, Kirit starts to yell and sing the truth of what is happening in the Spire. Tower citizens have gathered at the top of the Spire to watch the challenge and hear this. Then she starts to scream as she’s injured by Sellus, using her Skymouth controlling scream. Her father and Wick add their own screams and then the Skymouths respond with screams and roars of their own from deep down in the Spire. Hey, maybe that’s what the roar of the city actually is, skymouths. Makes the sacrifices of the conclaves seem kinda pointless, but I suppose the Singers could justify it as clearing the city of laws-breakers.

Anyhow Rommul wants to put an end to this and dives into the gyre and right at Kirit. They both fall to the nets at the top of the Skymouth pens and Rommul is seized by Skymouth tentacles poking through the net. Kirit, her father, Wick, and the Skymouths continue to scream and roar and the wall around the Spire begins to break apart at places that Nat’s father strategically weakened (and marked on his bone chips). Parts of the Spire wall fall away, including in the  Skymouth pens and the Skymouths start to escape. Sellus is eaten by one. Kind of a nasty way to go.

Wick comes to Kirit and tells her they need to get to the top of the Spire. That’s where things leave off after my commute. Sounds like Wick and Kirit need to do something about all the newly-freed Skymouths. Rommul has been defeated and the Spire opened to the daylight (literally), so now I get to see how they handle the aftermath.

The post Updraft: Update 9 appeared first on W.E. Larson.