Jessica Conoley's Blog: LitUP

Tech glitch, tech glitch, tech glitch. At home. At work. When I try to upload the Patreon 7 cards yesterday, 3 times. But ’tis the season of such things, (& travel woes, & exes reappearing, & frustrated tempers) until November 29.

When things go awry, like with a tech lull, try to remember it as a reminder to slow down and enjoy the moment. Maybe us it as a reminder to find something you’re grateful for, or a confirmation that whatever you’re trying to do isn’t really that important or needs to be done later.

Have a great holiday if you celebrate, and if you don’t enjoy that too. The new 7 cards is up for the week

J

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I’ve written about how creative energy sends messages before. Symbolism and action are two key ingredients in that dialogue, and the last two weeks have been all action on my end.

This summer I decided it was time to figure out why the wall in my bathroom was oddly bumpy. The wall was adjacent to the 40+ year old shower, and my assumption was there was a water leak. I knew bathroom remodels were expensive, and I didn’t feel like I had an extra $20k available to do a full remodel–but I also knew water is a house’s arch-nemesis when it infiltrates the wrong places so denial wasn’t going to serve me forever.

I sat in the uncomfortable moment of deciding if I would do what was most familiar: put a band-aid solution on a 40 year-old shower, because I felt like I didn’t have the resources available to fix it properly.

Everything about my past wanted me to do what was familiar, say I didn’t have enough money and live with an ugly sealant fix and bumpy wall. But, I was in my present–and that is a place where I know I can change things, if I’m brave enough to do it.

The quotes came in, everyone agreed unless we ripped the old out we couldn’t see the full extent of what was happening behind.

I asked myself: If I had all the money available to me, what would I do?

The answer: Fix the problem right. Rip it down to the studs, and rebuild it exactly how I wanted to.

I chose my company and signed a contract the first week in July, they were booked out until November, so that gave me four months see where the money would come from.

A friend and I went tile shopping; I wanted a color and large tile–which meant a custom order which would take a few months. Perfect, the shower guys couldn’t get me in until then anyways.

The company came out for final measurements and I thought about the functionality that had frustrated me about the old shower. I had them add a 2nd niche and a fold down chair. I chose the fixture that would flay my skin off. I selected the trim and base because they were the easiest to clean.

Every decision I made was because it was right for me, because I deserve to have nice things that work properly.

September rolled around and I got the call for my install dates, November 6-12. It was time for me to see how this money would show up from.

Past me felt an immediate urge to start researching options, but my intuition said wait. Over the weekend I start googling, my intuition said wait. Monday rolled around & I thought I’d use co-working to research, but my intuition said wait. Tuesday I began my search for financing in earnest, and connect with the right person on my third phone call.

I explain I’m self-employed and so a *bank-statement loan/financial review makes the most sense. He says, “A product just launched yesterday that I think would work well for your situation.” And I understand that’s why my intuition had been telling me to wait.

Less than an hour of work on my end and they have all the info they need.

The next day I get a call from him, I’ve been approved for 3X the estimated cost of the shower remodel. More than enough money to fix everything if they rip out the walls and everything’s gone to shit.

Demo day happens and it’s a best case scenario. No extra days, no extra cost, no unforeseen damage.

Tile day comes around and the guy starts tiling without confirming with me what I want. I go in at the end of the day, and he’s hung the tile the wrong way. “I’m sorry, but I wanted it vertical.” A few minutes of him trying to convince my horizontal is the right choice. “I want vertical.” He rips it out. The next day he tried to convince me the way I want the tile hung will cause cracking, look off because my walls aren’t even, there’s a soffit, suggests alternate methods, etc. For five minutes I considered it, but stick to what I want. He conceded and got to work.

Later I googled, “Is it harder to tile vertically than horizontally.” The answer: a definitive, yes. And, I understand energetically I have just done an important thing. I have asked for exactly what I want and paid for, and not settled for something that would have been an inconvenience for someone else. Energetically, I have shown I expect people to treat me in alignment with my self-worth and will no longer settle for less-than.

The house is dust and chaos for a week. Writing/thinking type work is challenging, so I settle on manual labor. Pull everything out of the bathroom and our utility closets. A mass purge and reorganization for the functionality that makes the most sense for how we use our house.

It’s exhausting, and feels so, so good.

It takes another week to get all the finishing touches together on the bathroom, and I realize the action I’ve taken over the past few months is about so much more than a bumpy wall and the fear of what may be hidden behind it.

It’s about being willing to face a problem head on, no matter how dirty and ugly it may get.

It’s about knowing all the resources in the world are available to me when I need them.

It’s about setting standards for myself, and not compromising if it inconveniences others.

It’s about settling into a life where I know what I want, take action to get it, and relish the outcome because I know I am worth it.

*Fun fact I used to work in the loan department at a bank. For my creatives who are self-employed and your tax-returns are wonky as all get out, there are loans where they look at your tax returns AND your bank-statements. A bank-statement loan allows for a more accurate assessment of your cash flow and may be a better option for you if you’re ever looking for a loan for a big purchase. Those loans are typically mortgages, home-equity-loans, something secured with collateral, etc. Not all banks offer bank-statement loans. If you need one, start by asking your bank, “Do you do bank statement loans?” If they say no, it will save you a ton of time and allow you to move on to find the right lender.

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A friendly reminder to ask for help. Out loud. With your words.

You don’t even have to ask another person.

Sometimes you just need to hear your own voice admit, I’m having a hard time with this awful feeling thing. I could really use some help, please.

I did that very thing two nights ago, driving home after closing my friend’s brewery. I was ruminating on a healthy decision I had made, questioning if I should revert to old, unhealthy, comfortable patterns.

Now, I know intellectually I made the healthy choice, but because my decision had consequences that were uncomfortable and new it was tempting to revert to what I had known all my life.

I didn’t like sitting in that in-between two lives moment, so I asked for help, out loud, in my car. Within 3 minutes a message popped onto my phone, (completely unsolicited) confirming that yes, I was doing the right thing, and to stay the course.

Things feel hard for a lot of us right now. The nights are getting longer, the cold is setting in. There is help available. Ask. You’re worth it.

***

The new 7 cards is up. The final sum up card really surprised me this week. I like it when that happens.

Have a good week. Stay warm & snuggle your kitties & puppies extra because the cold makes them extra wonderful right now.

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One of the hard parts about being a writer in 2025 is we don’t print off our pages every day. In typewriter times you could see how much you accomplished by looking at the stack of pages on the edge of your desk. Now you’re just saving files in folders and it feels like you haven’t accomplished anything. In all parts of my career I struggle with seeing how far I’ve come, but then sometimes you have a weekend like last weekend & you can see really clearly how much you’ve grown.

Last weekend I was presenter Jessica. 2 live presentations at a conference on Saturday, and a 3rd presentation Monday night via zoom. What surprised me, (completely, totally, and in the best of ways) is how energetically fine I am today.

In the past when I presented, energetically it would kick my ass. I would have an energy hangover, that could take days or even weeks for me to shake. I would have picked up the energy from the entire room & had the hopes and dreams of all those baby writers pulling on me for guidance long after my sessions had ended.

Today I feel a little tired, but it feels normal tired from having an early morning. It’s not to my bones, unable to function, mental depletion–which is what I had come to expect after public events.

Today, I can see how far I’ve come since 2020 regarding my energetic work, and I am so PROUD of myself. I don’t know if I’ve ever worked harder at anything in my life than trying to get a handle on my mirror-touch synesthesia and navigating experiencing other peoples thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations.

It’s taken acupuncture, rolfing, energy healers, energy coaches, books, meditation, journaling, trips to see how other mediums/energy people work and practice–so much fucking practice. Practice setting boundaries. Practice asking “Is this mine?” when my body is suddenly overtaken with a sensation. Practice being honest and vulnerable. Practice letting people in and (sometimes) letting people go.

For the first time in five years I have hope I may be able to use my skills in an energetically sustainable way without going insane or physically making myself ill. It’s the oddest kind of victory, but I’ll take it. I’ll celebrate it. And, I’m grateful for letting me share it with you.

It was a little late due to all the teaching. (And now that I type that I even managed to channel that information in what would have previously been an energetic dead-zone time… another victory.)

My hope is I’m back to writing for serious face this week, and Master Creative Energy gets back to its normally scheduled programming.

The post When you can see how far you’ve come. New 7 cards appeared first on Jessica Conoley.

There’s still time to register for my workshops this Saturday, 10/18 & Monday 10/20. You can get the full details plus registration link here.

I’m deep in conference prep, but am hopeful writing time commences full force next week.

I’m also super excited to share about a new, aligned, business partnership I’ve entered–because it feels so good to find & work with the right people. I’ll share more when the conferences are done.

If you’ve been feeling stuck in your creative work or elsewhere, watch the preview for this week’s 7 cards. Also, if you’re on Instagram, there are fun changes coming to @tarot4Creatives over the next month. Keep your eye out for a colorful new adventure

Have a great week.

Jessica

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Two days after my cat died my friend lured me out of the house.

We sat in the sunshine, eating lunch, and confessed. “I feel like I’m failing. I’m useless. I know I’m sad because my cat died. But I’m tired of being sad, because I feel like I’ve been sad the past three years. I feel like I should be writing–but I’m not. And I know I would tell anyone else that they deserve time, but I still feel like I should be productive.”

My friend is smart, (clearly, because she knew I needed to be lured out of the house) and she said, “I think when a pet dies it also stirs up all the grief around the people we’ve lost. You haven’t been doing nothing. And yes, you deserve time.”

She’s right. I deserve time.

She’s right. Losing Bear amplified losing mom and my cousin.

She’s right. I need to get out of the house and be with people who aren’t going to force me to pretend like I was fine or expect me to act the way I did when Mom, Kell, & Bear were alive.

Grief hurts because it is love; I have had a lot of love.

I will take time to heal because my friend told me it is okay.

And just in case you need to hear it, too–take your time. The projects can wait. Another opportunity will arise. Go sit with the people who can accept you exactly as you are, on the sad days and the happy ones too.

Thanks, friend. I couldn’t have done this part with out you.

& this week’s 7 cards is up. It felt really good to do it this week. It feels like a hopeful week, and that’s an energy I’m relieved to settle into.

Have a good week.

J

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I have complicated feelings about my mirror-touch synesthesia. I don’t like getting other people’s hangovers, or feeling like I’ve been bashed in the back of the head randomly. I’ve accepted I can’t control it or turn it off, but this week I was grateful for it.

Our sweet 17-year-old little cat, Bear, took a trip to the vet last Friday because she just felt off. My synesthesia had me feeling what she was feeling, and it just felt weird.

It felt like my lungs worked properly, I could take deep breaths, and intellectually I knew I had enough air–but it’s like the air couldn’t flow out of the lungs into the cells or wherever it normally went. It was almost like an air pipe submerged in water at one end.

Everything around my lungs felt heavy. Like all the surrounding organs were filled with liquid lead, and my lungs were floating to the top.

It didn’t hurt. Not at all. But it was off and disquieting and it just felt like things weren’t flowing properly.

The vet said bear was in heart failure. That liquid had surrounded her heart and it was squeezing things. She also said Bear wasn’t going to get better, so on Tuesday we said goodbye.

I’m glad I know without any hesitation that she wasn’t in pain, but it still hurts to lose your friend of 17 years. She was a good little cat, and our family is very sad she’s gone–but glad for the time we got with her.

This week’s 7 cards is up. I hope you are doing well, and if you have a furry friend as part of your family, please give them an extra pet from me.

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The past few weeks I’ve been going through old pictures on my phone, and it’s been simultaneously enjoyable and cathartic. While I drink my morning mushroom coffee, (I like Ryze. I tried MudWater, but it was sludgy.) I go to my photos app and open the search function. I type in the month & day, without a year. It pulls up for me all the September 14 (or whatever day it is) photos I have. I’m really enjoying it, partially because I have a lot of photos of people who are no longer in my alive world, and it lets me connect with them. I’m also enjoying deleting trash photos or duplicates and just creating some energetic space. If you want to try it, you might like it too.

This week’s 7 cards post is up over in the shop. The free preview for everyone is about SHAPESHIFT & we’re collectively in the middle of a huge one. I personally am enjoying it, even through the hard parts. I hope you’re able to find the good parts in your transition.

Have a good week.

Jessica

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I have a lot of titles, (Coach, speaker, intuitive, writer, etc.) but one I’ve never used publicly, that feels like the most accurate, is: symbolic interpreter.

I wrote about The Language of Creative Energy over on Substack last week, including the tidbit that symbolism is a key component of that conversation. (Guess that high school lesson on Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter turned out to be useful after all.)

When people schedule in for intuitive guidance sessions with me or watch the 7 cards videos or my @tarot4creatives account, all I’m doing is applying my English class skills and translating symbols.

But here’s the truth. I don’t need the cards. Nobody needs the cards. The cards are just props.

Cards give me an immediate image to focus on, which can be very helpful. It’s the difference between shopping at a boutique with twenty-five options or amazon with a billion. It’s much more efficient to choose something at the boutique, because you’re not in overwhelm from the infinite on-line options. Cards also give people something to look at which makes for a more interesting video.

Honestly, the biggest benefit though, is cards help a lot of people feel more comfortable with my skills as an intuitive. It gives them a choice: believe the pretty pictures on the cards relay information or accept that I (and every other person alive) have access to tons of information at all times by simply observing and interpreting the information directly in front of them.

I understand not wanting to accept that humans are built to have access to massive amounts of intuitive knowledge at any time. It’s really overwhelming. It took me years to get comfortable with the idea and go public with my skills.  

Reminder group coaching is this Saturday at NOON cst. Use the normal link.

Have a great week, and thanks for your support.

Jessica

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The learning never ends, and I actually really like that. I had an insight come in regarding a new process for writing & business-ing. I’d been giving too much time to business, so have delegated all of that work to weekends. Week days are solely for client work & writing. BUT the part that really feels hopeful to me is I’m going to alternate fiction writing weeks with non-fiction writing weeks. I’ve never tried this way of working before, but it builds on patterns I developed growing up as a divorced kid switching houses every week. It also gives me a way to immersively work on both F & NF without feeling like I’m neglecting either side of my work. Last week was a NF week that went really well. Curious how fiction feels this week.

This week’s 7 cards is up in the shop. Thank you to Thomas for jumping on the live & helping me learn the new system. It was definitely a different feel from the way I’ve been doing it, but I think once a month I may do lives. It will get less awkward with practice, because everything does.

Have a great week & Happy Eclipse portal.

J

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