Larry Sarezky's Blog
March 31, 2017
Ten Questions to Ask Before Fighting Over the Kids
My biggest fear as a divorce lawyer is that thousands of children are growing up wondering why the “grown-ups” didn’t protect them from their parents’ high conflict divorces.
So I put together a list of ten questions to ask clients who were considering custody battles. If it’s your co-parent who wants to fight over the kids, see if he or she can answer the following:
1. Do you want your children to endure months of anxiety and uncertainty as to where they will be living and whether they will have the relationship they want with their parents and siblings?
2. Do you want your children subjected to interviews by attorneys, mental health professionals and court personnel during which they may feel frightened, humiliated, and pressured to be loyal to both parents?
3. Do you want your children subjected to questioning by these professionals about their most personal fears and frailties?
Talking to strangers.
4. Clinical studies have shown that children exposed to high conflict between parents are at risk for psychological damage. Do you want to risk your children developing emotional disorders as a result of your high-conflict custody battle?
5. Do you want your inability to resolve your differences to serve as a model of parenting for your children?
6. Do you want intimate details of your life to become a matter of public record?
7. Do you want a stranger deciding how much you will see your children, and how you will make decisions concerning them?
8. Do you want a substantial portion of your assets used for fees of attorneys and expert witnesses with no guarantee that you will be happy with the result?
9. Do you want to give up attention to detail that negotiated agreements typically contain but that judges’ decisions do not?
10. Do you want to engage in costly, time-consuming and rancorous litigation that can make future cooperation between you and your co-parent extremely difficult at best, and the resumption of effective joint parenting nearly impossible?
Visit http://DivorceSimplyStated.com to learn more about protecting children in high conflict divorces, and to preview Larry Sarezky’s new book, Divorce, Simply StatedLarry Sarezky
.
So I put together a list of ten questions to ask clients who were considering custody battles. If it’s your co-parent who wants to fight over the kids, see if he or she can answer the following:
1. Do you want your children to endure months of anxiety and uncertainty as to where they will be living and whether they will have the relationship they want with their parents and siblings?
2. Do you want your children subjected to interviews by attorneys, mental health professionals and court personnel during which they may feel frightened, humiliated, and pressured to be loyal to both parents?
3. Do you want your children subjected to questioning by these professionals about their most personal fears and frailties?
Talking to strangers.
4. Clinical studies have shown that children exposed to high conflict between parents are at risk for psychological damage. Do you want to risk your children developing emotional disorders as a result of your high-conflict custody battle?
5. Do you want your inability to resolve your differences to serve as a model of parenting for your children?
6. Do you want intimate details of your life to become a matter of public record?
7. Do you want a stranger deciding how much you will see your children, and how you will make decisions concerning them?
8. Do you want a substantial portion of your assets used for fees of attorneys and expert witnesses with no guarantee that you will be happy with the result?
9. Do you want to give up attention to detail that negotiated agreements typically contain but that judges’ decisions do not?
10. Do you want to engage in costly, time-consuming and rancorous litigation that can make future cooperation between you and your co-parent extremely difficult at best, and the resumption of effective joint parenting nearly impossible?
Visit http://DivorceSimplyStated.com to learn more about protecting children in high conflict divorces, and to preview Larry Sarezky’s new book, Divorce, Simply StatedLarry Sarezky
.
