Walter Stoffel's Blog
August 30, 2022
Something's Missing
A home without a dog is like…
Day without night
Bells without whistles
Tom without Jerry
Salt without pepper
A bride without a groom
Abbott without Costello
Scotch without soda
Pork without beans
Thunder without lightning
A joke without a punchline
Pie ala mode without ice cream
Government without taxes
Rimsky without Korsakov (okay, I’m stretching it a bit!)
In other words, in a home without a dog, something is missing.
Can you add any examples to my list ?
walterstoffelauthor.com
Day without night
Bells without whistles
Tom without Jerry
Salt without pepper
A bride without a groom
Abbott without Costello
Scotch without soda
Pork without beans
Thunder without lightning
A joke without a punchline
Pie ala mode without ice cream
Government without taxes
Rimsky without Korsakov (okay, I’m stretching it a bit!)
In other words, in a home without a dog, something is missing.
Can you add any examples to my list ?
walterstoffelauthor.com
October 30, 2019
I fought the lawand I won--p
I fought the law and I won—thanks to Lance!
In January 2019, I went to a casino across the state line in New York. After more than six hours of playing the slots, I staggered out into the darkness, a few dollars poorer but richer in the knowledge as to why I rarely frequent gambling emporiums. Being the bad sport that I am, I was driving like a madman to get home, hurrying to put distance between myself and that cursed gambling den. Too much of a hurry, apparently. As I was nearing the town of Port Jervis, I saw the unmistakable whirling lights of a police car in my rearview mirror. I pulled over, came to a stop and sat in my car, prepared to meet my fate. It was six pm and already pitch black outside as I rolled down the car window and waited for a uniformed visitor to come calling.
After exchanging introductions, the policeman (a State Trooper, no less) asked me an all-too-familiar question: "Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?" I played dumb even though, because I have a heavy foot and have been through this exercise before, it was pretty obvious to me why he and I were having a conversation. The trooper was all too glad to enlighten me. "You were doing 70 in a 45 zone." Feigning shock, I told him I had no idea how that had happened. He asked me if I was in the middle of some type of emergency situation and the best I could come up with was that I had just lost my shirt at a casino and wanted to get far away from there as quickly as possible. The trooper laughed. Then he noticed that my vehicle inspection sticker had expired. He became much more businesslike. He asked for my license and registration— which I gave to him—and then looked into my vehicle, utilizing his flashlight. He asked me what was in several large boxes sitting on the backseat of my car. I told him they were books and that I was an author. He asked me what the book was about. When I told him, he said, "I have two dogs. Both rescues. "One was a Doberman Pinscher that had apparently been used as a watchdog at a place of business. The business had shut down and the dog had been left behind. His other rescue was a three- legged Dachshund.
The trooper then took my documents with him back to his car and did whatever police officers do while leaving a driver like me to fidget in my car.
When he came back, he told me he was going to cut me a break. I offered to give him a signed copy of Lance: A Spirit Unbroken, but he played by the book (pun intended) and said he couldn't accept any gifts. Being the salesman I am, I instinctively gave him a business card and told him he could read Chapter 1 for free on the book’s website.
I have the distinct feeling that my book and this trooper's love of dogs turned the tide in my favor. Not only did he not give me a speeding ticket (which probably would have cost me somewhere in the neighborhood of $300 these days), but he forgot about the expired inspection sticker.
Many years ago, I came this close to getting a flood of tickets and even having my car impounded because of Lance (Chapter 28). This time, thanks to Lance, I avoided the clutches of the long arm of the law.
Moral of this story? Don’t gamble!
In January 2019, I went to a casino across the state line in New York. After more than six hours of playing the slots, I staggered out into the darkness, a few dollars poorer but richer in the knowledge as to why I rarely frequent gambling emporiums. Being the bad sport that I am, I was driving like a madman to get home, hurrying to put distance between myself and that cursed gambling den. Too much of a hurry, apparently. As I was nearing the town of Port Jervis, I saw the unmistakable whirling lights of a police car in my rearview mirror. I pulled over, came to a stop and sat in my car, prepared to meet my fate. It was six pm and already pitch black outside as I rolled down the car window and waited for a uniformed visitor to come calling.
After exchanging introductions, the policeman (a State Trooper, no less) asked me an all-too-familiar question: "Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?" I played dumb even though, because I have a heavy foot and have been through this exercise before, it was pretty obvious to me why he and I were having a conversation. The trooper was all too glad to enlighten me. "You were doing 70 in a 45 zone." Feigning shock, I told him I had no idea how that had happened. He asked me if I was in the middle of some type of emergency situation and the best I could come up with was that I had just lost my shirt at a casino and wanted to get far away from there as quickly as possible. The trooper laughed. Then he noticed that my vehicle inspection sticker had expired. He became much more businesslike. He asked for my license and registration— which I gave to him—and then looked into my vehicle, utilizing his flashlight. He asked me what was in several large boxes sitting on the backseat of my car. I told him they were books and that I was an author. He asked me what the book was about. When I told him, he said, "I have two dogs. Both rescues. "One was a Doberman Pinscher that had apparently been used as a watchdog at a place of business. The business had shut down and the dog had been left behind. His other rescue was a three- legged Dachshund.
The trooper then took my documents with him back to his car and did whatever police officers do while leaving a driver like me to fidget in my car.
When he came back, he told me he was going to cut me a break. I offered to give him a signed copy of Lance: A Spirit Unbroken, but he played by the book (pun intended) and said he couldn't accept any gifts. Being the salesman I am, I instinctively gave him a business card and told him he could read Chapter 1 for free on the book’s website.
I have the distinct feeling that my book and this trooper's love of dogs turned the tide in my favor. Not only did he not give me a speeding ticket (which probably would have cost me somewhere in the neighborhood of $300 these days), but he forgot about the expired inspection sticker.
Many years ago, I came this close to getting a flood of tickets and even having my car impounded because of Lance (Chapter 28). This time, thanks to Lance, I avoided the clutches of the long arm of the law.
Moral of this story? Don’t gamble!
January 12, 2019
Confessions of a book "listener"
By day I work as a drug and alcohol counselor and the GED teacher, by night I write and self-publish. Due to time constraints, over the past year I have done most of my reading via audiobooks. This certainly has convenience going for it. However, there is a definite downside.
Initially, I tended to other chores while listening. I soon realized I was not paying attention to the book so I restricted myself to listening to audiobooks when in the car or on my elliptical. Even in those two settings I find my mind tends to wander so I have to really force myself to focus. This is not half as much of a challenge when I am physically reading a book.
An audiobook also ushers in a new criteria for critiquing the work—the narrator. A skilled narrator can add value to the story, a value unique to “hearing” a book that is not a factor if the book is being read. By the same token, a less skilled narrator can detract from the story’s quality.
A few of the audiobooks I have listened to employ both male and female narrators but most employ a single narrator who must imitate the voices of all the book’s characters—male and female. A male imitating a female’s voice or vice versa—both can be a distraction, sometimes a laughable one.
To get the most out of an audiobook, I’d have to be in my recliner and subject to absolutely no other distractions. But, that’s exactly where I’d be if I was reading the book. So I’d be back to square one.
As a result of my experiences utilizing audiobooks, this year I’m going to intersperse some actual book reading in with my book listening.
What are your thoughts on audiobooks?
Initially, I tended to other chores while listening. I soon realized I was not paying attention to the book so I restricted myself to listening to audiobooks when in the car or on my elliptical. Even in those two settings I find my mind tends to wander so I have to really force myself to focus. This is not half as much of a challenge when I am physically reading a book.
An audiobook also ushers in a new criteria for critiquing the work—the narrator. A skilled narrator can add value to the story, a value unique to “hearing” a book that is not a factor if the book is being read. By the same token, a less skilled narrator can detract from the story’s quality.
A few of the audiobooks I have listened to employ both male and female narrators but most employ a single narrator who must imitate the voices of all the book’s characters—male and female. A male imitating a female’s voice or vice versa—both can be a distraction, sometimes a laughable one.
To get the most out of an audiobook, I’d have to be in my recliner and subject to absolutely no other distractions. But, that’s exactly where I’d be if I was reading the book. So I’d be back to square one.
As a result of my experiences utilizing audiobooks, this year I’m going to intersperse some actual book reading in with my book listening.
What are your thoughts on audiobooks?
