David D. Ireland's Blog

It’s exciting to think about new things and fresh beginnings.

Maybe it’s a new job or promotion. Perhaps you have found the love of your life or are expecting a baby.

For many people, as a new year approaches, there’s anticipation and renewed motivation to accomplish new goals and accomplish more than they have in the past.

Are you ready for God to take you to the next chapter of your life?
Are you excited to see how He can use you for His glory?

Let’s Pray: Dear Father, thank you so much for who you are. Help me learn more about You and help me to be a doer of the Word and not just a hearer. I ask you this in Jesus’ name, Amen.

The Next Chapter I am referring to is a movement of care.

C- Compassion
A- Action
R- Resources
E- Education

The idea of expanding care to the community is not mine. It didn’t originate with me. It is in the Scripture. The early church had to learn how to expand care to their community.

And now, brothers and sisters, we want you to know about the grace that God has given the Macedonian churches. In the midst of a very severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own, they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing in this service to the Lord’s people. And they exceeded our expectations: They gave themselves first of all to the Lord, and then by the will of God also to us. So we urged Titus, just as he had earlier made a beginning, to bring also to completion this act of grace on your part. But since you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in the love we have kindled in you—see that you also excel in this grace of giving. 2 Corinthians 8:1-7 (NIV)

I want you to plant yourself in one of the seats at the Church of Corinth. The elders are now reading out loud Paul’s letter to them. You can almost hear Paul’s voice as the elders read it. Paul wanted them to know that even though the churches of Macedonia were poor, they still gave to the needy and impoverished. Paul was encouraging the Corinthians to share their gifts with a grateful heart.

Discover God’s grace.

To make the Next Chapter a reality, you must discover God’s grace.

I’ve learned in 40 years of walking with Jesus that I should not be too quick to discount opportunities because everything in front of me seems bleak. We are so quick to abstain from things because we get caught up in looking at them through our eyes. Paul tells us that the Macedonians did not say “no” to his request.

They did not discount themselves from the miracle that could show up. Why? Because they knew about God’s grace.

Do you know the meaning of grace? One of the most popular meanings of the word grace is unmerited favor. That means that you didn’t deserve favor, goodness or kindness, but God gave it to you anyways.

Grace is God’s empowering presence that enables you to be who God calls you to be.

In other words, grace helps you become what you need to become. Grace enables you to accomplish all the things that God desires of you.

It is what Moses experienced in the wilderness. He is taking care of his father-in-law’s sheep, and then all of a sudden there is a bush that catches on fire without being consumed. Out of the bush comes the voice of God telling Moses that He hears the cries of His children in Egypt. He told Moses that He wanted him to go and tell Pharoah to let His people go.

Can you even imagine what it must have felt like to be Moses? You have no power, authority, title or status, yet God is asking this huge request. What caused Moses to go to Egypt and be empowered to deliver over a million Jews from Egyptian slavery? Nothing other than the grace of God. As God puts big things in front of you, realize that you can’t do them with your strength—you need the grace of God to lead you.

Don’t discount yourself from His calling until you become aware of the grace of God.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

Grace is God’s enabling power.

It empowers you to be and to do. That is why teenager David was able to kill Goliath. It wasn’t just a slingshot, it was the grace of God that came upon David. It was the stone accompanied by grace that enabled David to slay the giant.

I want you to know that moving towards The Next Chapter care project may look humongous, but everything looks small when you step into the grace of God. Do not be discouraged. Do not rule yourself out. Let God demonstrate grace to you so you can have war stories about what God did through you.

I can imagine how Paul must have felt when he wrote the letter to Corinth and approached not just the Corinthians, but the Macedonians as well. These guys were in terrible poverty amidst a fierce trial of persecution. Paul asks them to give a gift to help impoverished believers in Jerusalem that they didn’t even know. He must have felt conflicted. How do I ask these people for something when they have needs
themselves?

I have felt the way Paul felt.

There are some sermons I preach from a place of being conflicted.

With this particular message, I feel conflicted because I am teaching about what it means to give big gifts to the work of ministry during an economic famine for some.

I am conflicted because some may think it is thoughtless of me to ask people to sow a seed in this economy. The topic of sowing and reaping is from God, and if you only teach when things are good, then you’re saying that the Bible is only accurate during good times and not tough times.

I want you to know that divine principles work during economic upturns and downturns.

God’s word works every time.

We just need to know how to apply His word to our lives. Now, I resolve being conflicted with this point. Being conflicted is okay, but being cynical or close-minded is not.

Planting is a choice. Never let anybody take away your choice.

I am so thankful that the Macedonians did not allow Paul or anybody else to take away their choice from them. Never let anybody do that for you because if they do, they will limit your ability to experience God’s miraculous harvest when you plant in faith.

“Money stands between more people and their relationship to God than any other one thing.” — Author Unknown

The Next Chapter is not about money. It is about ministry. If you’re looking at money, then you’re looking at the wrong thing.

Do God’s will.

Doing God’s will is one of the high watermarks of a follower of Jesus. I know that you are an authentic and fully devoted follower of Jesus when you place doing God’s will as the high point of your life. I don’t care how difficult it may seem or how weird it may look, whatever God calls you to do, do it. Sometimes when you are doing the will of God, He won’t explain Himself.

I’m one of those people that usually needs every last one of my questions answered before I do anything, but I’ve learned over the years that when it comes to God, I can throw everything out the window and just trust Him.

When you recognize the value of doing God’s will, it is amazing. It means that you’re walking in a place of true submission to God. Some people believe that the will of God is optional. I look at those people with bitterness because you say you’re a follower of Jesus Christ and that you love the Lord, and yet you ignore His will.

There is a problem there. To be a Christ follower means that you live in the submission of His will for your life. Even if His will is crazy or different than what you want to do, you can be placed on a pedestal as a champion of God when you say: I am doing the will of God in my life.

I can assure you that they gave as much as they could, and even more than they could. Of their own free will they begged us and pleaded for the privilege of having a part in helping God’s people in Judea. It was more than we could have hoped for! First they gave themselves to the Lord; and then, by God’s will they gave themselves to us as well. 2 Corinthians 8:3-5 (GNT)

When I think about the Macedonians, I applaud them. Doing God’s will means you must first give yourself to the Lord.

You may ask, how do you give yourself to the Lord?

It is when you fully devote yourself to Him. It is when you tell Him that you will do whatever He calls or asks of you. When you get to that place with God and mean it, God will do amazing things through you.

The Macedonians didn’t look at their resources, they looked at the will of God. They wanted God to show them what to do with the opportunity presented to them.

“To live outside of God’s will puts you in danger; to live in His will makes us dangerous.” — Erwin McManus (Pastor & Author)

Would you pray this prayer with me? God, make me dangerous.

You are dangerous when you can do the will of God. The devil is afraid of you.

Demonstrate Generosity

The Next Chapter is going to occur because of you demonstrating generosity. Paul wanted others to have the right perspective when it came to giving. Follow the lead of the Macedonians when it comes to being generous.

So I thought I should ask these brothers to go to you before we do. They will finish getting in order the generous gift you promised so it will be ready when we come. And it will be a generous gift—not one that you did not want to give. Remember this: The person who plants little will have a small harvest, but the person who plants a lot will have a big harvest. — 2 Corinthians 9:5-6 (NCV)

Paul told the Corinthians that they weren’t wasting money on giving to those in Jerusalem. He reminded them they were planting seeds for their future harvest. Paul wanted them to understand that generous sowing will reap a generous harvest. I want you to recognize that.

“People go through three conversions. The conversion of their head, their heart, and their pocketbook. Unfortunately, not all at the same time.” — Martin Luther (German Reformer & Theologian)

Generosity is not accidental. It is a planned and intentional process that requires steps.

Deliberate with God. What does this mean? Go into prayer and seek God’s leadership.

Discover God’s purpose. What is God saying to you for this season of your life?

Define a sense of sacrifice. It is never equal giving, but equal sacrifice.

Determine your giving potential. Everyone has a different potential.

Decide on a giving plan. Come up with ways to creatively give generously.

Again, generosity is not accidental. You have to be intentional about committing to giving.

I want to encourage you that God is up to something big, and He wants to use us. God is raising us up. Let us discover God’s grace, do God’s will and demonstrate our generosity to expand care to the community for the glory of God.

Let’s Pray: Dear Heavenly Father, I need you. Come into my heart, wash away my sins and change me. Help me to serve you all the days of my life, starting now. In Christ’s name, Amen.

(scroll to the bottom to watch this message)

Have you been struggling this Christmas season?
Do you feel like Christmas doesn’t matter?
Do you need your hope restored?

Pray with me: Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this special season of Christmas. Thank you for giving us your greatest gift, your son. Let this season be a time of thankfulness. In Christ’s name, Amen.

Does Christmas matter?

We live in a time where materialism and selfishness rule the season of Christmas. We see fights over decorations, there is often drunken squalor and we feel the stress of others in the air. It is easy to become jaded and cynical when we think about Christmas. We forget what Christmas is truly about.

After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, “Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw His star when it rose and have come to worship Him.” When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all of Jerusalem with him. When he had called together all the people’s chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Messiah was to be born. “In Bethlehem in Judea,” they replied, “for this is what the prophet has written: ‘But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for out of you will come a ruler who will shepherd my people Israel.’ ” Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. He sent them to Bethlehem and said, “Go and search carefully for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him.” After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen when it rose went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with His mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped Him. Then they opened their treasures and presented Him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route. — Matthew 2:1-12 (NIV)

That was the first Christmas. Over 2,000 years have come and gone since then, and now we’re asking ourselves this foundational question: Does Christmas matter? I will give you four reasons for your consideration as you think about that question.

Christmas Makes the Bible True.

Our Bible is largely a book of prophecy. Over 28% of the Old Testament and 21% of the New Testament are prophetic. They speak of a future that was to come. When you think about the Messiah, Jesus, His birth was described thousands of years before He was born. Passages in Isaiah tell the birth hundreds of years before Jesus was born. All of these passages were very specific. An example of this was Jesus being born of a virgin. Several essential prophesies indicated the coming Messiah. Over 366 prophecies that are found in the Bible speak of the coming of Jesus.

The Messiah will be born in Bethlehem. Micah 5:2 (NIV)

A messenger will prepare the way for the Messiah. Malachi 3:1 (NIV)

The Messiah will enter Jerusalem as a King, riding on a donkey. Zechariah 9:9 (NIV)

The Messiah will be betrayed for 30 pieces of silver. Zechariah 11:32 (NIV)

The betrayal money will be used to purchase a potter’s field. Zechariah 11:13 (NIV)

The Messiah will be betrayed by a friend and suffer wounds in His hands. Zechariah 13:6 (NIV)

The Messiah will remain silent while He is afflicted. Isaiah 53:7 (NIV)

The Messiah will die by having His hands and feet pierced. Psalms 22:16 (NIV)

Jesus fulfilled these eight prophecies. These are just a few examples of the prophecies fulfilled in the Bible.

“The probability of all 8 Messianic prophecies being fulfilled accidentally in the life of one person is 1 in 10 to the 17th power or 1 in 100,000,000,000,000,000. That’s one in one hundred million million or one in one hundred quadrillion!” — Professor Peter Stoner (Author, Science Speaks)

When Christmas comes, it validates the truthfulness of Scripture.

Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet’s own interpretation. For prophecy never had its origin in the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit. 2 Peter 1:20-21 (NIV)

The Bible is a miracle book of prophecy. If Christmas is true, the Bible is also true. That is why you find Christmas being fought tooth and nail in every direction. It is not because people are mean or morally corrupt. It is because we are fighting a spiritual battle. Satan is at the back of the battle in terms of pushing Christmas to be commercialized. He is trying to reduce the
meaning and even eliminate Christmas. This is why we must recognize that Christmas matters. Christmas Makes God Known.

God is spirit. Have you ever seen God? Truthfully, you would say no. Have you ever touched God? Again, you would probably say no.

Christmas makes God known because Jesus came into the world to show us the Father.

This was one of the questions put to Him by one of His 12 disciples.

“Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.” — John 14:8 (NIV)

Phillip asked Jesus to show him God, and then he wouldn’t have any other questions.

Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father.” — John 14:9 (NIV)

Christmas makes God known, and Jesus was God incarnate, which means God in the flesh. One of the names of Jesus was even prophesied!

They shall call His name Immanuel. — Isaiah 7:14 (NIV)

Immanuel means God with us. Now to be technical, the name Jesus means Jehovah saves. Jehovah is another name for God. Jesus’ name means God saves you.

In other words, men can’t save you, women can’t save you and the church can’t save you. No one can bring you into a saving knowledge except God the Father. He rescues you from eternal damnation. No one can bring you into a new life apart from God.

God clothed Himself in humanity, lived on the ground, sinless, and then went to the cross to pay the debt we owed Him. This was why the Jewish people tried to stone Jesus.

“We are not stoning you for any of these,” replied the Jews, “but for blasphemy, because you, a mere man, claim to be God.” — John 10:33 (NIV)

They wanted to stone Him for making “ridiculous” statements about who He was. They couldn’t wrap their mind around a mere man being God.

Christmas Makes Sin Forgivable!

“She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” — Matthew 1:21 (NIV)

Jesus is the reason for the season.

Why? Because Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus, the savior of the world. The reason why Christmas must not be forgotten or dismissed is that it matters. It makes us aware that sin is forgivable. Sin requires punishment.

The Bible says the wages of sin is death, but God’s gift is eternal life.

When Jesus was born and died on the cross, He paid our debt. When people know the meaning of Christmas, it makes them know that we serve an extraordinary God who sent His son so that we could be forgiven.

“The light came on,” said Tom Tarrants, who spent eight years in prison for planting a bomb. “I found myself knowing I needed the grace of God and the forgiveness of my sins. For the first time, what Jesus did on the cross became really precious and personally important to me.” — Tom Tarrants (Author: The Conversion of a Klansman)

I know that if God can radically save and transform Tom Tarrants, a former KKK member, then He can forgive anyone. And that is why the devil is trying so hard for us to forget about Christmas because Christmas reminds us that sins are forgivable.

Christmas Makes Hope Available!

It has been said that Jesus is the hope of the world, and hope is a unique thing.

“Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the command of God our Savior and of Christ Jesus our hope.” — 1 Timothy 1:1 (NIV)

Paul was letting Timothy know we have hope. What is hope? Its imagination makes tomorrow more enjoyable than today. Christmas communicates this hope. Jesus has gone ahead of us to prepare a home for us.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” — Romans 8:38-39 (NIV)

What a rich, powerful and encouraging word. The apostle is giving us clear focus. Christmas isn’t about presents. It is about the hope to come. You may not be living where you want to, but our hope has given us an understanding of what is coming. We have a hope that is greater than our present circumstances. You need to change your perspective from the now and focus on the eternal hope that Christ has given us.

Christmas matters because it makes hope available.

I want to remind you of these four simple truths as we celebrate another year of Christmas.

1. Christmas makes the Bible True
2. Christmas makes God known
3. Christmas makes sin forgivable
4. Christmas makes hope available

If there is ever a reason to have a smile on your face and hope in your heart, it is God’s reminder that one day we will receive our Lord, and He will receive us. No matter how difficult life may get, we have the eternal hope of Christ.

Let’s Pray: Dear Father, let us not forget the true meaning of Christmas. Let the joy of this season rule our hearts, and let us remember that you are our hope. In Christ’s name, Amen.

Why should we care?

Caring is a provocative topic, and the reason is that we find ourselves wrestling with questions that emerge from the Bible.

These questions provoke thoughts such as: What does God expect from me regarding caring for people? Are we allowed just to turn away from the world’s problems? Does God care about transforming society?

These types of questions are ones that we must learn to struggle through.

Let’s pray before we get into the teaching: Dear Father, thank you so much for your incredible kindness and love for us. I pray that the Word will find good soil in our hearts so that it will germinate and produce good fruit. In Christ’s name, Amen.

I want to set up the Scripture before we dive deeper into it. Jesus is a master storyteller and speaks to His audience about animals. He was talking about how after He is buried and resurrected, He will return and separate all the nations (with nations representing individuals). Some of these nations (people) will go on His left and others on His right.

He said he would separate them like a shepherd separates sheep and goats. Sheep have the instinct to gather together, whereas goats are more independent. Sheep depend upon their shepherd, and goats could care less about their shepherd.

Are you a sheep, or are you a goat?

“Then the King will say to those on His right, ’Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ Then the righteous will answer Him, ’Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ The King will reply, ’Truly I tell you, whatever you did for the one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ ” Matthew 25:34-40 (NIV)

Jesus knows how to comfort us lovingly, respectfully and tenderly. He sometimes challenges us on our moral and ethical responsibility to care for others. He is not just talking about caring for strong and secure people, but also the weak, poor and under-resourced.

Is there a hole in our Gospel?

On the topic of why we should care, don’t look for quick answers. Quick answers never change us.

Before you can answer why we should care, there are other questions that come to the surface from the text.

One of these questions is: Is there a hole in our Gospel?

The word Gospel means good news. Jesus was preaching the good news when He identified with the needs of the marginalized, the weak, the suffering and the broken. Gospel doesn’t just mean good news but also glad tidings.

The good news of salvation must influence the flourishing of someone’s entire life, not just spiritual life.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full. — John 10:10 (NIV)

The good news of Jesus’ Gospel-centric preaching is that He focuses on salvation. Christ washes us free from our sins, and not just our souls are being saved, but our life as well. God is interested in saving your soul, your body and your spirit.

“You cannot warm the hearts of people with God’s love if they have an empty stomach and cold feet.” — William Booth (Founder, Salvation Army)

This observation made by William Booth is a biblical one.

The Gospel offers salvation and social uplift of a person’s entire life. When a person comes to know Jesus, not only does Jesus wash them free from sin, but He also changes their mind on how they view life. Their mental life changes, their family life flourishes and every aspect of their life benefits.

The question we need to ask ourselves is, we may be good at soul winning but is that the extent of the Gospel?

The true Gospel has no holes, but our Gospel might. If we teach the good news and don’t demonstrate it through acts of care, our Gospel has a hole in it. Our Gospel has holes in it if we only have faith and don’t have any works. When the Kingdom of

God is preached, souls are saved.

But are the hungry given food?
Are the strangers welcome?
Are the naked clothed?
Are victims defended?

Jesus wants us to preach The Word through our actions, not just words.

“Christ has no body on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours. Yours are the eyes through which Christ looks (with) compassion on this world. Yours are the feet with which He walks to do good. Yours are the hands with which He blesses all the world.” — St. Teresa of Avila (16th-Century Spanish Noblewoman)

Is there a hole in me?

It is a human reaction to have empathy and compassion. We should all care, but what happens when you don’t perform compassion toward the weak? What is amiss?

If you seldom feel empathy toward others, why do you feel that way?

“Then He will say to those on His left, ’Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’ They also will answer, ’Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ He will reply ’Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ ” — Matthew 25:41-45 (NIV)

This is heavy stuff. He isn’t saying it’s just the social needs of others you did not meet, but He is talking about something deeper that is going on inside you. When you overlook the weak, the broken and the powerless, then you are not truly converted to being a follower of Christ.

If you were converted, something would go off inside you when you see someone in need of compassion. Compassion is when you feel for and feel with someone.

When you turn your compassion into action, you truly begin to care for others. To care is to take deliberate action to be able to meet the needs of someone else. God has a dream for the weak, the broken and the poor, and we must recognize that it is our job to care.

When you don’t care for another person, you’re saying there is a hole in your heart. You can preach the Gospel, but there are no works. You can talk about Jesus, but you don’t go out and meet the needs of hurting people. There are excuses we make that also deepen this hole. When we say we’re too busy or that we’re too tired, we are feeding indifference.

Costly Excuses for Caring:
1. “I’m busy.”
2. “I’m too tired.”
3. “My own needs are great.”
4. “My gift won’t make a difference.”
5. “It’s not my responsibility.”

If you oppress poor people, you insult the God who made them; but kindness shown to the poor is an act of worship. — Proverbs 14:31 (GNT)

Many of us get caught up in focusing on our own needs, so much so that we can’t see the needs of others.

If we take care of Jesus’ call to care for the least among us, we can learn to truly care by showing real action toward those who are hurting. We will find ourselves making a difference in the world around us. An excuse we often use not to care is thinking that our gift won’t make a difference.

There are so many different needs out there that need to be met by many other gifts. Jesus said that He was sick and we didn’t look after Him.

One of the greatest things we can do is just connect with someone sick. We don’t have to be the doctor, we can just pray with them, and our presence of being there is a true gift to them.

Caring for the poor is lending to the Lord, and you will be well repaid. — Proverbs 19:17 (CEV)

Did you know that God is sympathetic to the poor? He wants us to lend to the poor our money and our time, and He will repay us.

The biggest excuse that will dig you deeper and deeper into the pit of apathy is saying, “that’s not my responsibility.” We push the responsibility onto the government or our neighbors and don’t take action ourselves.

“I had come to see that the great tragedy in the church is not that rich Christians do not care about the poor but that rich Christians do not know the poor. … I truly believe that when the rich meet the poor, riches will have no meaning. And when the rich meet the poor, we will see poverty come to an end.” — Shane Claiborne (Christian Activist)

How do I fill the hole?

“Let my heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God.” — Bob Pierce (Founder, World Vision)

How do you fill the hole? By praying that God will break your heart for the things that break His heart. Pray that prayer over and over again. Let God begin to bother you with the things that bother Him.

How else do we fill the hole? We accept the Gospel as a dual action. God is calling us to serve Him and to serve people. Proof of salvation is that you become the hands and feet of Jesus. If you are just the words of Jesus, you are not the Gospel.

This service you do not only helps the needs of God’s people, but it also brings many more thanks to God. It is proof of your faith. Many people will praise God because you obey the Good News of Christ—the gospel you say you believe—and because you freely share with them and with all others. — 2 Corinthians 9:12-13 (NCV)

When you start living the Gospel, not just by words but in works, others start thanking God and believing in Him.

“The greatness of a man is measured by the way he treats the little man. Compassion for the weak is a sign of greatness.” — Myles Monroe (Christian Minister)

When you help people experience human dignity and value, you come to another level with Christ. God has to stir that inside us because words alone won’t get people’s attention.

“I can’t change the world but I can change the world in me.” — Bono (Singer/Songwriter & Philanthropist)

We are all little people. Our efforts accomplish little compared to the size of the global population, but what can we change? We can change ourselves.

Let’s Pray: Dear Father, break my heart for what breaks yours. Stir up compassion in me. Give me the confidence and boldness to serve you in words and works. In Christ’s name, Amen.

Are you talking or communicating? Just because words come out of our mouths doesn’t mean we are truly communicating. And just because we have ears and hear someone talking doesn’t necessarily mean we listen to what is being said.

In this week’s teaching, you’ll learn how to build healthier relationships by understanding the seven things you can do to become a better speaker, and the seven things you can do to become a better listener. 

Let’s Pray: Dear Father, thank you so much for the history and longevity of our friendship. Thank you for the gift of salvation. Let this message help shape me into the person you have called me to become. In Christ’s name, Amen. 

As someone who has to talk for a living, so to speak, and has to know how to communicate with people, I have learned many things over the years in the area of communication. 

People will listen to you if you speak well to them, and will want to speak to you if you listen well to them. 

Communication is very intrinsically involved. The idea of healthy relationships begins with being a disciple of Jesus Christ. 

Some people can grow in the knowledge of the Bible and quote Scriptures all day long, but that doesn’t mean they have emotionally healthy relationships. If this applies to you, my question is: Are you growing as a follower of Jesus Christ? 

You may be successful in many areas of your life, but this doesn’t mean you are successful in building healthy relationships. Often if you are having a hard time building a healthy relationship with someone, it is because it will require you to build up different gifts and learn to emphasize other things that you may not be used to doing. 

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. — Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV) 

The art of communication is very critical to building emotionally healthy relationships. We all have relationships in our lives. In this passage of Scripture, Solomon tells us that communication has three strands or three ingredients to build healthy relationships. One of the strands is that you benefit from good communication. The person you’re speaking to benefits as well, and finally, the relationship benefits. You have to look at each of those things as if they are three separate entities, but each has a significant role. 

“Every relationship has three components — person one, person two, and the relationship itself — and all three must grow, change, evolve, manage the past, deal with the present, and plan for the future.” — Joshua Klapow (Psychologist)

There are two things that we must be very aware of because these two things inform the quality of the relationship we will build. 

First, we must be very aware of the speaker and the speaker’s role. 

Second, we must be aware of the listener and the listener’s role. 

Anytime that you deal with the issue of communication, you must be conscious of those two entities. The speaker and the listener drive the relationship’s and communication’s quality. 

I will dive into each of these roles, starting with the speakers. 

What is the speaker’s role in building an emotionally healthy relationship? How do you apply the speaker’s role to your communication? 

How do you approach speaking to others about sensitive matters? 

My dear friends, you should be quick to listen and slow to speak or to get angry. If you are angry, you cannot do any of the good things God wants done. — James 1:19-20 (CEV) 

James points out that the speaker’s role is to approach the conversation knowing that a two-way dialogue will happen. You will have certain things that you will want to share with a person, and they will have certain things that they will want to share. 

When you realize your role as the speaker, you must recognize that you have things you want to communicate and that the other person has things they, too, will want to share. 

Being slow to speak means that you are giving thought to what you are feeling. 

When you’re sharing an idea that you have, you want to be able to walk away from the conversation, knowing that you also heard what the other person needs. 

The speaker’s role in communication is to ensure that both people get what they need from the relationship. You want to walk away from a conversation with a greater understanding of the person. 

In some relationships, a person may be very guarded against you. How are you going to help them drop your guard? Being forceful won’t work. 

Look back to what James said, be slow to speak. Being slow to speak means you aim to improve the relationship through dialogue. If you feel the tension in the relationship, start your conversation by saying, I want our relationship to be healthy, and I want to please you. 

It is amazing how when you say something like that, the person then drops their guard. 

The speaker’s role is to also not assume certain things of the other person. Don’t assume that they can read your mind. Your role is to be assertive and speak what is on your heart and mind. Your role is not to assume the worst about the person. 

The speaker has a responsibility when it comes to communication. You need to ensure that you’re heard, they’re heard and that you’re not making the worst assumptions about them. 

Seven barriers to emotionally healthy relationships. 

Learn how to navigate these barriers so you don’t fall prey to their evil intentions. 

Avoidance. This is when you leave problems untouched. By doing this, you are fueling the fires of unhealthy relationships. Defensiveness. You have walls up, and this pushes people away. In this position, you are not willing to adjust your actions or perspective. Being inflexible. This is when you are unwilling to be adaptive regarding good communication. Being overly critical. This is a barrier preventing people from sharing their hearts with you. Do not say bad things that hurt or insult people. Instead, say only good things that will help people. Your words should help people to become strong when they hear them. — Ephesians 4:29 (Easy English Bible)  Being too needy. Being too needy leads to an unhealthy dependence which often causes emotional immaturity. Being too distant. This is also a barrier that causes an unhealthy relationship. Being distant creates emotional disconnectedness. Being too fearful. Your relationship has hit a wall if you’re afraid of being abandoned, rejected or mishandled. 

“As long as you leave to others the responsibility to make you happy, you’ll always be miserable because that is actually your job.” — Linda Alfiori (Activist & Speaker) 

What’s the listener’s role? 

Building emotionally healthy relationships requires knowing, understanding and applying the listener’s role in conversations. How do you actively listen to others sharing tough and delicate information? 

Fools do not want to understand anything. They only want to tell others what they think. — Proverbs 18:2 (NLT) 

The Bible has the word fool in it for many reasons, and in this passage, it calls someone silly. Essentially, it is saying that if you never listen to what someone else is trying to say, you are silly. The fool is only concerned about their talking. 

Good listeners approach conversations with the desire to listen and learn from the other person. 

Listen to advice and accept correction, and in the end you’ll be wise. — Proverbs 19:20 (NCV)

Good listeners genuinely want to learn. They want to learn how you want to be approached, how you want to be spoken to and how you want to be dealt with so that the relationship can thrive. 

Good listeners want to improve their interaction with you because that will improve the emotional health of the relationship. 

Seven tips for active listening. Don’t speak. What do you mean? If you want to practice active listening, don’t speak while the other person is pouring out their heart. Paraphrase what the person is saying. When the person is talking, say back to them in your words what you heard them say. Look at the speaker. Look at them through the eyes of love and the eyes of receptivity. Have open body language. This means that if someone is speaking to you, you want to be open and not closed off to their words. Facial expressions convey certain things. Ask clarifying questions. This will let them know that you are genuinely listening and will clear up any possible miscommunications. Withhold judgment. A healthy and vulnerable dialogue occurs best if you are not sitting there in a seat of judgment. Show empathy to the person. People want to know that they have been heard and listened to. Showing empathy means that you’re telling the person that you care for them. 

It makes a lot of sense to be a person with few words and to stay calm. Even fools seem smart when they are quiet. Proverbs 17:27 (CEV) 

Emotionally healthy relationships are built on healthy communication, which hinges on a two-fold process: the speaker must know their job, and the listener must know their role. If you speak nicely to people, they’ll listen to you. If you listen well, people will want to speak with you. 

Let’s Pray: Dear Heavenly Father, I need you. Come into my heart, Lord Jesus. Wash away my sins. Change me. Help me serve you and walk with you every day. Starting right now. I pray this in Christ’s name. Amen. 

As followers of Christ, we are each called to care for others. What does caring look like? How does caring play out in and through our daily living?

This week we are answering the question: Do we care?

Let’s pray: Dear Father, I am just so confident in you. Thank you for reminding me that you’re the Lion of the Tribe of Judah. Please deal with my heart in a unique and tender way so I can become the person you called me to be. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

One of the most prominent themes in the Bible is compassion and caring. I want to unpack some things Jesus talks about on these topics and ask you some questions. As you read, examine your heart for the answers.

Does God expect us to care about people, even people we don’t know?

How do we demonstrate this care?

What responsibility do we have towards people beyond sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ? Does God even care about transforming society?

Are we given the option of turning away from the world’s problems? Does God allow that? Is the salvation of just our souls enough?

Does God expect more from us?

In the passage below, Jesus is in front of an audience and gets deep with them by saying, “Let me tell you what it will be like at the end of the age when I return.” He said to them that He will bring all the nations together and then separate them into two groups, just like a herdsman does when he is separating goats and sheep. The goat and the sheep may look similar, but they are very different. The sheep depend on their shepherd, but the goats are curious and tend to wander off. In the passage below, He is talking strictly to the sheep.

“Then the King will say to those on His right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?” The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ ” Matthew 25:34-40 (NIV)

I’ve been serving the Lord for 40 years, and I can tell you one thing I’ve seen that’s common; God has never allowed me to settle at any particular juncture of growth that has made me think I’ve arrived. He is constantly prodding, prompting, encouraging and challenging me to grow. He wants me to become more like Jesus in my attitude, actions and aspirations.

I believe that He is doing the same for you. The goal of growing to be more like Jesus has us wrestling with the question: Do we care? To really answer that question, we need to ask what it means to care?

In the text, Jesus says caring is taking action. It is to meet the needs of the least among us. Caring is not merely an idea. It is about taking action to meet the needs of those who cannot meet their own needs.
“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.”
Matthew 25:35 (NIV)
Jesus was affirming His followers, not based on how much of the Bible they knew or how often they went to church, but He was affirming them on how they met the needs of others. Jesus extended the idea of what it means to care. When He says to care is to take action toward welcoming strangers, He is referring to Himself. He thanked His followers for opening up their lives to Him even though He didn’t look like them.
Jesus associated Himself with being a stranger because being a stranger means you have a deep desire to be welcomed. When you want to belong, but you feel as if you don’t, that does something inside you.

“Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.”
— Mother Teresa (Founder, Missionaries of Charity)

Why have some stopped caring?

We’re living in a culture where it is almost attractive to have apathy. It is as if the feelings of indifference look like a garment fine enough for a catwalk. The crazy thing is some people sit idly by and whip out their phones to videotape a moral crime, and the reason they post it is not to decry the wrong but to boost their followers.

“Hate is not the opposite of love; apathy is.” — Rollo May (American Psychologist)

To avoid the pitfalls of apathy, you must guard your heart because it is the wellspring of compassion. If you are not careful, things can get launched into your heart, producing apathy and cynicism. What is cynicism? It is a sarcastic, jaded and cynical perspective. What makes it dangerous? Often the cynics are correct, and their perspectives are accurate, but their conclusions are destructive.

If you don’t protect your heart, you can be jaded and cynical, producing apathy that will cause you to not care any longer. You cannot fulfill the very calling that Jesus placed on your soul. That calling is to care for the sick, feed the hungry and help minister to those in need.

Another dangerous thing you need to guard your heart against is codependency. This is the formation of an imbalanced relationship. It is where our actions and well-thought intentions produce self-destructive behavior in others. This causes some to have poor mental health. It causes them to get stuck in a cycle of immaturity.

When you are helping someone, and they think they can keep living in their dysfunction, they’re not taking responsibility for themselves. When we see that, we have to back off and stand guard. Otherwise, it produces codependency.

Some people have experienced compassion fatigue. This is a psychological term that describes the condition of emotional and physical exhaustion that leads to the inability to

empathize. It is almost as if we are so used to seeing human depravity that it no longer moves us, which is very dangerous. This can happen to anyone if we are not careful.

We will show mercy to the poor and not miss an opportunity to do acts of kindness for others, for these are the true sacrifices that delight God’s heart. Hebrews 13:16 (TPT)

It is easy to get to the place of not wanting to be bothered by anybody. One of the other things that cause apathy is being a care-a-holic. This is a made-up word by a psychologist to describe a particular symptom. A care-a-holic is someone who has a strong urge to be needed and uses caring and helping in the same way that alcoholics use alcohol to self-medicate.

Sometimes when you find someone that is always caring, they end up giving everything away to their detriment. Why?

It is not because they have a big heart of compassion, but it is because they are so confused about the idea of caring. They express care to deal with their pain.

Jesus doesn’t let any of us “off the hook.” He calls for us all to pick ourselves up and recognize that apathy is not a method by which we can live our Christian lives. The Bible shatters and destroys that kind of thinking.

“Obedience to Christ demands change, the world becomes His world, the poor, the weak and the suffering are men, women and children created in His image…injustice is an affront to His creation; despair, indifference and aimlessness are replaced by hope, responsibility and purpose; and above all selfishness is transformed to love.”
Brian Griffith (Author, Morality and the Market Place)

The value of the Christian faith isn’t saying that it is just good enough for you to know Christ as your savior, but that you have to become the hands and feet of Jesus. Your life must be robust with the fact that if you saw the sick, you would help them. If you saw the hungry, you would feed them. I want you to see that God calls us to believe that coming to know Christ as the Savior is not the end of the road. It is just the beginning. The full Gospel says that we’re saved by grace through faith, and we have works that authenticate our salvation and grace.

How can we care responsibly?

No one wants to be taken advantage of when you are attempting to provide care for another. Jesus has called us to care responsibly.

“When I was hungry, you gave me something to eat, and when I was thirsty, you gave me something to drink. When I was a stranger, you welcomed me, and when I was naked, you gave me clothes to wear. When I was sick, you took care of me, and when I was in jail, you visited me.” Then the ones who pleased the Lord will ask, “When did we give you something to eat or drink? When did we welcome you as a stranger or give you clothes to wear or visit you while you were sick or in jail?” The king will answer “Whenever you did it for any of my people, no matter how unimportant they seemed, you did it for me.” Matthew 25:35-40 (CEV)

There is a four-point process to care responsibly when you deal with poor, victimized and under-resourced people. The starting point is caring. Caring is grounded in the common humanity of loving people. It should bother you that people are hungry. It should make you feel a sense of injustice and inequity. Caring is when you empathize with the pain of others.

You haven’t done anything to help yet, but it is on your radar.

Once you start to feel for that person or that group, you must move on to caring for them by rolling up your sleeves and putting your feelings into action. You not only see the needs of others, but you are also willing to do something about them. This type of caring is truly seeing someone and loving your neighbor as yourself. When you’re caring responsibly, it doesn’t just stop at action. It moves onto caregiving.

Caregiving requires competence. It requires skill and training. It is when you are willing to develop more effective and impactful skills. Finally, to care responsibly, you must be receiving. This is when you poll those around you receiving care from you to find out if they genuinely feel cared for. It is when you start inviting dialogue. To care, care for, give care, and receive are four vital components of caring responsibly.

“Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.” – Theodore Roosevelt (26th President of the United States)

Let’s pray: Dear Father, help me to care for the needs of others. Help me put my empathy into action and truly start to care for my neighbors. Thank you for giving me the boldness to walk the way you are calling me to. In Christ’s name, Amen.

 

If you are reading this, chances are pretty good you have a relationship with at least one person, but you likely have more than one.

Husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, parent and child, boss and employee, and the list goes on—we are all in a relationship.

And each relationship has its dynamic that must be navigated.

The question is, how do you build healthy relationships?

Let’s pray and then answer that question: Dear Father, we are so thankful for you and your incredible love for us. Teach us how to be able to serve you in a more excellent way. Minister to our hearts in a way that can help us to grow into even greater disciples of Jesus. In Christ’s name, Amen.

One of the things I’ve been learning is that successful living must include healthy relationships. You can succeed in business, finance, education and even sports, but if you’re not focusing on building emotionally healthy relationships, you’re dabbling with failure. I’ve also learned that to have emotionally healthy relationships…

You need to place a high value on relationships.

As Jesus and His disciples were on their way, He came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to Him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what He said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to Him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister left me to do the work myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you’re worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42 (NIV)

Even though this story occurs in the home, building emotionally healthy relationships must occur in the workplace, school and broader community.

The goal should always be to build emotionally healthy relationships.

If we look at this story, the home of Mary and Martha is located in a Middle Eastern society. In this time period, they lived in a very communal way.

At times you would often see three generations living under the same roof. In this instance, we find that two adult sisters are living together. Martha and Mary lived in the village of Bethany, which was just two miles from Jerusalem. We don’t know if Jesus was going to or coming from Jerusalem, but the Bible does state that the stop at Mary and Martha’s house was unexpected. He just popped in, and the two sisters started scurrying about trying to prepare the home.

At some point, Mary left Martha and sat down at the feet of Jesus. When Martha saw Mary just sitting there, she became livid. It bothered Martha so much to see Mary sitting there that she couldn’t contain it. She confronted Jesus on the matter, and instead of Jesus saying, “yeah, that’s not right,”

He told her to leave Mary alone. Jesus was in Mary and Martha’s home, and they were having relational problems.

We often come from toxic and dysfunctional families and haven’t learned how to function well in stressful areas. We didn’t learn the principles of how to build an emotionally healthy relationship.

Learn to do the work.

It takes hard work to build an emotionally healthy relationship. Don’t be blind in thinking that healthy relationships magically happen. That is a Hollywood fantasy where a guy meets a girl and then falls in love and gets married. They live happily ever after and never argue. Don’t be naive. That is not how it works. I want you to understand that building an emotionally healthy relationship will require work.

There are seven signs of having an emotionally healthy relationship.You are exhibiting mutual respect for one another. You display honor and extend value to the other person.Genuine care. You truly want what is best for the other person and care about their well-being.You practice active listening. I’m not just talking about listening on an auditory level, but what I am talking about is listening to them on an emotional level. This is where you want to hear their wishes and expectations, and you notice what their emotions are as they express them.Building an emotionally healthy relationship is acknowledging boundaries. You recognize that you are separate people with different opinions and values that must be respected.Trust. Trust means you’re not snooping around and waiting for someone to do something terrible. When you trust someone, you don’t have to hide anything from them.Mutual support through encouragement, affirmation and assistance. Do you want to help the other person grow? That is a sign that you are working towards a healthy relationship.You are safe, to be honest. When your relationship is emotionally safe, then you know that you are in an emotionally healthy place.

Since God shows you to be the Holy people He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.  Colossians 3:12-13 (NIV)

Paul is telling us that the work of building an emotionally healthy relationship includes showing tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. The interesting thing is that Paul tells us we must allow for each other’s faults. He is saying that everyone has flaws and that people are complicated. Paul says that you’re going to have to be okay with it.

You’re going to have to put in the work.

Building an emotionally healthy relationship takes work, and many of us want someone else to do the job. Jesus is trying to tell Martha that everyone has shortcomings and that she needs to cut Mary slack.

The Master said, “Martha, dear Martha, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it’s the main course, and won’t be taken from her.” Luke 10:41 (MSG)

Part of relationship building is learning not to blow things out of proportion. One thing I see a lot in couples who are struggling is that they often don’t respect each other’s humanity. If either of them falls short, they jump all over each other. Why? Because they don’t recognize that they are both humans. We are flawed, complicated and prone to mistakes. We need to make sure that we humanize our spouses, colleagues and family.

We must welcome honesty.

Is the relationship safe? Remember what I mentioned earlier in those seven attributes. One of them is to have safety and honesty. What do I mean by that? The relationship should be strong enough that you don’t need to walk around on eggshells. It means that you can say something without the other person flipping out.

An emotionally healthy relationship must have space for you to be honest.

The Bible is silent about whether Martha spoke to Mary about her inconsiderate behavior. But what we do recognize is this, if there is silence in a relationship, there is a sense of bitterness and resentment.

In other words, if you are in a relationship with someone and they can’t say anything to you because you don’t welcome honesty, then something is going on inside of you that is dark and ugly. It’s either going to be resentment, bitterness or hypocrisy. That is the death nail for relationships.

Learn to welcome honesty.

People should be able to be their authentic selves around you. However, honesty does not mean someone can be disrespectful and hurtful towards you. It means they can express their joy, goal, desires and wishes with you.

On the flip side, it means they feel safe to share their pain, frustrations and thoughts with you, and you’re not going to fall apart when they do. The idea of welcoming honesty is that we don’t see ourselves.

Often we don’t see how we’re coming across. We don’t hear our tone or see our faces. Since we can’t see that for ourselves, we need to have feedback.

But Martha was thinking to herself, “I cannot do all this work alone.” So she went to Jesus. She said, “Master, my sister is not helping me with the work. She has left me to do it alone. You surely do not think this is right! Tell her that she should help me.” The Lord Jesus replied, “Martha, Martha, you have troubles on your mind about many things. But only one thing is really important. That is what Mary has chosen to do. Nobody will take it away from her.” Luke 10:40-42 (EASY)

We know that Martha approached Jesus in a delicate situation. Jesus carried Himself in such an emotionally safe way that Martha felt she could speak with Him about something bothering her. It was personal to her, and He was able to give her honest feedback though their opinions differed about the same situation. He disagreed with her perspective. He was able to show her a different way of looking at the situation.

I want you to see that building an emotionally healthy relationship requires work and honesty. Sometimes honesty hurts, which is why you need to recognize the importance of mixing truth with grace.

Some of us grew up in settings where we tell people like it is. We told the truth, but it created problems. Why? Because of the way you communicated the truth. Did you regard the person’s feelings? Did you think about where the truth would land if it didn’t land properly in the heart? This is going to create bitterness, anger and resentment.

You have to learn to mix truth and grace.

This will take a lot of practice. Don’t be afraid to go back and ask the person if you hurt them when you expressed your opinion. If it is hard for you to determine whether or not to speak the truth or if you’re speaking the truth with grace, then ask God to give you wisdom. I am so thankful that Jesus modeled for us how to have a different opinion from someone and convey it in a way that doesn’t create harm.

You must make adjustments.

You need to learn to make room for the other person. Welcome their personality. Allow them to have different levels of maturity.

The Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha! You are worried and troubled over so many things, but just one is needed. Mary has chosen the right thing, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41 (GNT)

Notice Jesus challenged Martha to adjust her perspective of Mary’s actions. He showed her that Mary’s actions were not evil. Martha was the one who needed to adjust.

Jesus told her that she was the one with the problem and the reason she had a problem was that she was worried about the little things. Martha was caught up in the perfectionistic role of host and was about to miss out on what was going on.

Jesus gave her an alternative perspective and showed her that relaxing and enjoying her time with Him is okay.

Sometimes our heart is in the right place, but our actions are not. We need to learn to align the two. Sometimes we judge people based on the outside and don’t look at what’s inside.

Healthy relationships require that you look at the heart and not just the actions.

When making adjustments, you need to learn to communicate with people in a helpful way. Sometimes the truth does hurt, but it doesn’t harm.

Hurt and harm are two separate things. Hurt is temporal, while harm is long-term.

When you communicate truths, ensure that you are doing so with grace. If you don’t, then you will cause harm.

Jesus was helping Martha understand the difference between hurt and harm. He was saying that she may be hurt because Mary didn’t help, but she didn’t harm her.

Jesus was teaching Martha that Mary’s actions weren’t of ill intent. Therefore, Martha shouldn’t try to hurt Mary. He wanted Martha to make adjustments.

So then, in everything treat others the same way you want them to treat you, for this is [the essence of] the Law and the [writings of the] Prophets.
Matthew 7:12 (AMP)

I want you to make adjustments so you can learn to minister to people and communicate with them how you want to be talked to.

“Emotional health and spiritual maturity are inseparable. It is not possible to be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature.” — Peter Scazzero (Author & Pastor)

Just reading the Bible and praying daily doesn’t mean you are emotionally mature. Don’t think that just because someone has Bible knowledge that they don’t need to grow emotionally. Talking with people and building relationships with people must be honoring God. That is a great sign of spiritual maturity.

Let’s pray: Dear Father, help us to build emotionally healthy relationships. Allow me to put into practice the things you have shown to me in this message today. In Christ’s name, Amen.

What kind of company or community are you keeping? Are you surrounding yourself with people encouraging and challenging you to grow in your relationship with Christ?

Are the people you hang out with causing you to grow in your purpose and calling?

This week we’re talking about growing in our community; pray with me before we get into the teaching: Dear Heavenly Father, I ask that you make us doers of the word and not hearers only. In Christ’s name, Amen.

I always like to encourage people to grow to their full potential and to find an environment where they get a chance to grow spiritually, relationally, and educationally. However, you can go to all the Bible studies and attend all the mentoring classes, but they all mean very little if you don’t learn the discipline of obeying God quickly.

“Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines practiced every day.” — Jim Rohn (American Entrepreneur)

We should practice many disciplines daily and weekly, such as daily devotional times or weekly church attendance. One of the most significant disciplines is learning to obey God quickly.

Learn to Obey God Quickly.

Now an angel of the Lord said to Philip, “Go south to the road—the desert road—that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.” So he started out, and on his way he met an Ethiopian eunuch, an important official in charge of all the treasury of the Kandake (which means “queen of the Ethiopians”). This man had gone to Jerusalem to worship, and on his way home was sitting in his chariot reading the Book of Isaiah the prophet. The Spirit told Philip, “Go to that chariot and stay near it.” Then Philip ran up to the chariot and heard the man reading Isaiah the prophet. “Do you understand what you are reading?” Philip asked. “How can I?”, he said, “unless someone explains it to me?” So he invited Philip to come up and sit with him. Acts 8:26-31 (NIV)

One of the principal characters in this story is Philip. In Acts chapter 6, he is introduced to us in the Biblical narrative. The church in Jerusalem was having a problem. They had a feeding program for widows. Some of these widows were Jewish, but some widows were Jewish but had Greek culture. Therefore, they didn’t speak Hebrew. Their mannerisms reflected more of the Greek type of culture, and so they were overlooked in the daily distribution of food.

The problem that could have broken the church into factions was disrupted, and the church maintained its unity because they chose several people that served, one of them being Philip. They chose him because he was full of wisdom and the Holy Spirit. That is where Philip is introduced to us in the Bible.

Fast forward to years later, and we see Philip again, but this time he is on a whole other spiritual rung on the ladder of Spiritual Maturity. We see that Philip had quickly become a master of obeying God, which was the genesis of his growth.

How can you personally grow in your community amidst all the things that it offers you?

Obey God quickly. That’s it. That is the answer.

What does it mean? Listen to God, and whatever He tells you to do, do it.

When you start to do that, God will trust you on a whole other level. In fact, in earlier verses of Acts chapter 8, we see that Philip is preaching the Gospel in the city of Samaria. He’s holding a citywide crusade where crowds had gathered and were set free from sin. People were healed physically, and those who were demonized were delivered.

Philip shook the city, and God used him to do that. Suddenly, we read that an angel told Philip to go South on a desert road from Jerusalem to Gaza. Notice the instruction God gave Philip, “go south.” He never told Philip what would happen or why he should go south. Philip never asked what God wanted from him by going South. Philip just obeyed God quickly. He is on this long road, about a 50-mile trip to get to Gaza, and suddenly he sees a fancy chariot. We read that the Holy Spirit tells Philip to go to the chariot and stay near it. Notice that the Holy Spirit doesn’t tell him why he needs to go to the chariot, and Philip doesn’t ask why.

He just obeys.

I imagine Philip looking at this royal chariot and is intimidated by it. But the Holy Spirit told him to stay by it, so he does. He runs up next to it despite his intimidation and feelings. I want you to see how he obeyed God quickly. That is what you and I must do if we want to grow.

Philip overhears that eunuch reading Isaiah the prophet. He was reading about the metaphorical lamb that would be slaughtered, and it was silent as it was enduring death. The eunuch had no idea what it meant or what the prophet spoke of. Then Philip asks him if he understands what he is reading and the eunuch informs him that he doesn’t, so Philip gets into the chariot. The eunuch was not a foolish man. He was reading out loud and in the language of Greek, which was not his native tongue. Even though he was a devout man and was serious about having an authentic relationship with God, he had no idea what the reading meant. Philip introduced himself and began to explain what the text meant.

The eunuch asked Philip, “Tell me, please, who is the prophet talking about, him or someone else?” Then Philip began with that very passage of Scripture and told him the good news about Jesus.  Acts 8:34-35 (NIV)

Philip was telling the eunuch about the Lamb of God. He was telling him of God’s indescribable gift of Salvation. He explained that Jesus died on the cross for everyone, and anyone who accepts Him as Savior can experience forgiveness of their sins.

Have you ever experienced forgiveness of your sins?

You know that when you are saved, you get to experience Christ. You have the assurance that your sins have been forgiven.

Have you ever experienced salvation?

Something happened in the chariot that day to the eunuch. Philip introduced him to the Savior, and he was saved. I love the fact that the eunuch practiced the very principle that Philip laid as a foundation for his spiritual growth. What was that? He started the habit of obeying God quickly.

How do we know that?

As they traveled along the road, they came to some water and the eunuch said, “Look, here is water. What can stand in the way of me being baptized?” And he gave orders to stop the chariot. Then both Philip and the eunuch went down into the water and Philip baptized him.  Acts 8:36-37 (NIV)

Philip never planned to get into the water and baptize someone. He never planned on getting wet. You may be a follower of Christ but have never been baptized. What is stopping you? Baptism isn’t salvation but a public declaration that you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior.

Why aren’t you getting baptized?

What excuses are keeping you from doing it?

Remember the principle that Philip developed, used, and practiced.

Obey God quickly. Obey every dimension of communication that God affords you. If you see water, what prevents you from being baptized? Philip got out of the chariot with the eunuch, and they went into the water. Can you imagine what the driver of the chariot is thinking? It is amazing when you see someone surrender to God, and that day, the eunuch surrendered.

“Baptism is an outward testimony of an inward transformation. It’s the first step of obedience for a disciple of Christ.” Anonymous

That day, Philip didn’t make a bunch of excuses for why he couldn’t get baptized. The eunuch didn’t make excuses. No, they learned the principle and disciple of obeying God quickly.

“We may never be martyrs but we can die to self, to sin, to the world, to our plans and ambitions. That is the significance of baptism; we died with Christ and rose to new life.” Vance Hanver (Author & Preacher)

When they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord suddenly took Philip away, and the eunuch did not see him again, but went on his way rejoicing. Acts 8:39 (NIV)

I am not perfect, but I’ve learned to obey God quickly over the years. I encourage you to invite Christ into your life and practice the discipline of obeying God quickly.

Let’s Pray: Heavenly Father, I need you. I’ve sinned against you and others. Wash away all my sins. Change me and help me to walk with you every day of my life, starting right now. In Christ’s name, Amen.

Congratulations! Welcome to the family of God.

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Sharing the love of Jesus with others doesn’t always bring to mind performing acts of service. But Jesus was the ultimate example of serving. In Luke 22:27, Jesus said, “Who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.”

Keep that in mind as we explore what it means to serve our community.

But before we get into the teaching, join me in praying: Dear Father, let this word be understood with clarity and simplicity. Let it be transformative and glorified in us. In Christ’s name, Amen. 

The Church is a community, and a community is a place of belonging. It is a place where you not only spend time with one another but also connect and do life together. Jesus had a lot to say about what it means to serve people in the community. 

Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to him. “Teacher,” they said, “we want you to do for us whatever we ask.” “What do you want me to do for you?” he asked. They replied, “Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory.” “You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said. “Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?” “We can,” they answered. Jesus said to them, “You will drink the cup I drink and be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with, but to sit at my right and left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared.” When the ten heard about this, they became indignant with James and John. Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” 

Mark 35:35-44 (NIV) 

I love how the Bible gives us the good, the bad and the ugly. Here we see James and John in a private conversation with Jesus. They waited for the other disciples to be gone before they asked Him, “Do what we ask.” It would be as if your kids came up to you and said, “I want you to say yes to my next question.” We aren’t going to say yes to them because we don’t know the other end of the promise. James and John blurted out their request, “When you come into your glory, grant that one of us will sit on your right and the other will sit on your left.” What a question. This question tells us that something is not right in the heart. I wanted to share this story because you can be close to Jesus but still have things that need to be fixed inside. It is not an indictment that you don’t love him or that you’re not willing to serve him, but it shows that we are all on a journey of becoming more Christ-like. What I learned from this text is… 

Serving Starts in the Heart.

The heart is the wellspring of life. The soul drives what we think, say and do. It tells us what we value. Sometimes we see what we want to do, but don’t feel clear about what is happening inside. The Book of Matthew says that James and John’s mother asked Jesus for her sons to be sitting on His left and right. In Mark, it says that James and John are the ones that asked the question. This doesn’t mean that there is a contradiction; it means that all three may have popped the question. 

We recognize that the request shows something was going on inside that was wrong in terms of their focus. They focused on power, prestige and position. Jesus wanted them to focus on God’s purpose, priorities and plans. He wanted them to be serving instead of being served. Jesus used Himself as an object lesson. He said, “The Son of Man came to serve, not to be served.” He did not think of Himself as too good, too Holy or too anointed to serve. 

A ransom is a price, a payment for an enslaved person. What does this mean? Jesus was saying that He came as a ransom, so that He could serve and give His life for the many. Jesus demonstrates for us that one of the most incredible things you can do is serve. 

“Godly leadership is not about attaining recognition or glory; it’s about serving others.” 

— John Perkins (Author and Christian Minister) 

One of the beautiful things, when you think about serving, is that it also reveals God’s grace and how He uniquely gifted you. Do you know that you are one of God’s masterpieces when you do what you have been shaped to do? SHAPE is an acronym for Spiritual gifts, Heart, Abilities, Personality and Experiences. When you use your SHAPE, people are amazed at who God is. When you use your gifts, it points to the character and nature of God. 

God has given each of you a gift from His great variety of Spiritual Gifts. Use them well to serve one another. 

1 Peter 4:10 (NLT) 

Are you using your gifts? 

When you use your gifts, it points to the magnificence of God. Our community needs you and your talents. James and John were blinded. They thought success meant others would serve them. Jesus flipped the idea to let them know that success means you serve others. May I suggest to you that in serving your community, you must make this observation: Serving starts in the heart. 

Serving transforms the heart. 

Something happens inside of you when you serve. It takes you through this metamorphosis and change. Worldly values and perspectives are shaken off.

Jesus called them to Him and said, “You know that those who are made leaders over the nations show their power to the people. Important leaders use their power over the people. It must not be that way with you. Whoever wants to be great among you, let him care for you.” 

Mark 10:42-43 (NIV) 

Jesus performed heart surgery on James and John to help them with their flawed perspective. Remember that the heart is the wellspring of life. Everything flows out of the heart. Your thoughts, actions, values and views all come from the heart. Jesus had to help them understand that they had a heart problem. 

If you are not serving, do you need heart surgery? 

You can be cured just like James and John. Jesus helped heal them by performing surgery on their hearts. He let them know that the world sees power as a sign that you’ve arrived, but the Kingdom of God does not. When you arrive in the world, you bark out orders, dominate others and speak down to them. Jesus taught the opposite of this. When you get healed of your heart issue, you treat people with courtesy and respect. 

The world sees serving as a starting point on the ladder of success, but Jesus sees it as the starting, middle and ending. Jesus needs to perform heart surgery on you so that you may exhibit the traits of a Christ follower. 

Serving Enlarges the Heart. 

Serving makes us more significant people. There is nothing wrong with ambition. James and John were very ambitious. Jesus did not condemn the fact that James and John had ambition. He just wanted them to have the attitude and actions that could put that ambition in check. 

Anyone who wants to be the most important person among you must work hard for you all. 

Mark 10:44 (NIV) 

He never said it was wrong to want fame and success. Jesus is saying that amidst your goals, anchor your ambition in how you care for people. Do you want to be a stronger disciple of Jesus? Do you want to enlarge your heart? Serve others. When you do this, it will increase your capacity to love others and God. When you serve, you begin to feel more connected with others. Serving allows you to use your gifts the way God has shaped you. When you serve, it puts you on God’s mind.

For the God, the Faithful One, is not unfair. How can He forget the beautiful work you have done for Him? He remembers the love you demonstrated as you continually serve His beloved ones for the glory of His name. 

Hebrew 6:10 (NIV) 

Serving Displays the Heart. 

For even the Son of Man did not come for people to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many. 

Mark 10:45 (NIV) 

Show me your heart by how you serve. Jesus wants us to follow His example. He says if you catch me, you’ll catch me serving. He says when you follow me, do what I do. Noted author Philip Yancey said that towards the end of Albert Einstein’s life, Einstein started to ask hard questions, such as, “What really matters: success versus service?” 

Einstein had two portraits on his wall of amazing scientists, Isaac Newton and James Clerk Maxwell. After Einstein went through this inward journey of what’s important, success or service, a deep conviction overshadowed him. He took down those two portraits and replaced them with Albert Schweitzer and Mahatma Gandhi. What Einstein concluded was that success is not as important as service. What became important to him was to replace those portraits. Let me ask you a question: Whose picture will you replace to motivate you to serve the way Jesus calls you to serve? 

I don’t know about you, but I want to grow in my ability and willingness to serve others. A life of success is not successful if there’s not a great outpouring of you serving others. Serving starts in the heart, transforming the heart, enlarging the heart and serving displays the heart. 

Let’s Pray: Dear Father, help us to desire to serve others and you. Let us not be consumed with the world’s view of success, but let us desire to be successful in your eyes. In Christ’s name, Amen. 

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Volumes have been written on the topic of happiness. A quick search of books about happiness on Amazon shows over 60,000 results. From those search results alone, it’s pretty clear that people want to be happy. 

So, if that many books have been written about happiness, why aren’t people happier? 

The Book, the Bible, provides the answer. 

Let’s pray before we dig in: Dear Father, let me be receptive to your word today. Touch my heart and let your Holy Spirit move in me. In Christ’s name, Amen. 

Everyone could be a little happier. It’s not just me, and it’s not just you. It is all of us. Throughout the ages, people have been searching for happiness. 

“My advice to you is to get married: if you find a good wife, you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” 

— Socrates c. 470-399 BC 

“Caring about the happiness of others, we find our own.” 

— Plato c. 428-347 BC 

The topic of happiness is not just for people in historical days. It is even for people today. I have learned over the years that people have tried to pursue happiness in many ways. People try to find it in money, education, parties or pleasure. These are not true sources of happiness. 

Rather than ask Socrates and Plato these questions, ask God the question: “How can I be happy?” 

I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.  Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 

There are principles that God establishes, eternal principles that work for everybody. If we practice these habits, we will have the answer to our question. This passage has four habits or practices that we can employ right now. The first action is: Happiness is a personal choice. 

Happiness is a personal choice. 

Verse 12 says, “Everyone may eat and drink and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.” 

We see clearly that one of God’s gifts to us is that we may find satisfaction, enjoyment and beauty. We can find happiness. Apart from our physical needs of food, shelter and clothing, happiness is a decision you must make.

It is not wrong to be happy or to want to be happy. Scripture declares it as a virtue. A gift of God is satisfaction. God says He wants you to find the good, pleasant and beautiful in all you do; this is His gift to you. He is calling us to experience happiness. 

Do not fall into the trap of saying, “I don’t deserve to be happy.” God wants us to be happy. Even if you made bad choices or fell into sinful patterns, God still gives us a way out so we can experience His gift of happiness. 

“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”  John 10:10 (NIV) 

The word “life” in that text is a Greek word. There are two Greek words for the English word “life.” There is “bios,” where we get biological life, and there is “Zoe” which means a God kind of life. Jesus was using Zoe. He said I have come that you may have the Zoe. The God kind of life is flourishing, thriving and satisfying. The happy life. I want you to see that Jesus came to earth so that you could have that life. 

“I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy , whether full or hungry … Philippians 4:12 (MSG) 

Being happy is a personal choice. When are you going to decide to be happy? The Bible tells us clearly that everyone may eat and drink and find satisfaction in all his toil. It is your responsibility to find satisfaction. Do not push or blame others for your satisfaction. The difference between happy and unhappy people is that happy people have a more reasonable threshold of satisfaction. It takes fewer things for them to be satisfied. 

Happiness is found when you are more easily satisfied. 

“It isn’t what you have or who you are, or where you are, or what you’re doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is all that you think about.” 

— Dale Carnegie (Writer & Lecturer) 

“Happiness is an inside job.” 

— Martin Thielen (Author, Searching for Happiness) 

Happiness is in your heart. You have to be more easily satisfied. Solomon, the writer of Ecclesiastes, is telling us that life is not perfect, but our perspective must be more easily satisfied than one that’s not. I want you to see that you can’t change people or their perspectives. 

“I cannot change you, but I can change how I react to you. I choose to take charge of the rest of my life.” 

— Anonymous 

Happiness occurs when you can learn to be more easily satisfied. You need to enjoy the moment right now. If you can’t find happiness in the now, then you won’t be able to be happy. When are you going to choose to be happy? 

Happiness is found when you pursue purpose. 

The Bible tells us plainly that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. The word for “do good” speaks of missional living. It speaks of purposeful living. Our specific purpose is to serve God based on how God has shaped us. SHAPE is an acronym that means: Spiritual gifts, Heart, Abilities, Personality and Experiences. You must begin to pursue purpose based on how you’ve been shaped. How can you be happy? You will not be happy doing anything outside of your purpose. 

Happiness is intrinsically connected to our purpose. The Bible says everyone may eat and drink and find satisfaction in all his toil. This means work, labor and goings-on. When you start living purposefully, then you are going to find happiness. 

Helen Keller became deaf and blind when she was 19 months old. Yet she claimed her right to be happy and experience life’s fullness by becoming a popular writer and a popular speaker. 

What’s your excuse? Why can’t you be happy? You deserve to be happy. God has wired you to be happy. Are you chasing hard after your purpose? If you are not, then you will never be happy. 

Happiness is found by enjoying God. 

The Bible says that everyone will find satisfaction in all his toil. This is a gift of God. You can’t separate happiness from God. 

“God cannot give us happiness and peace apart from Himself because it is not there. There is no such thing.” 

— C.S Lewis (Author) 

Years ago, I wrote a book named Habits of Happy People (my publisher changed it to the Secrets of a Satisfying Life). The idea was I wanted to look and see what behavioral scientists said to the question, “How can I be happy?” 

And you can see their research all points to the fact that when you have a spiritual life and spiritual reality, it transforms everything. In fact, George Gallup, the pollster, conducted a survey many years ago and concluded that less than 10% of Americans are deeply committed Christians. But the people who make up that group are categorized as influential, and they are happy. They stand apart from everybody else. He said because they’re more tolerant of people of diverse backgrounds, they’re more involved in charitable activities and they’re more involved in practical Christianity. They’re absolutely committed to prayer. And he said they are far, far happier than the rest of the population because these individuals have learned the secret, “delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” 

Most of us, as Christians, we’re not all in. We’re not totally sold. Some people who call themselves Christians have one foot in the church and one foot in the world. They’re straddling both kingdoms. You can’t have one foot in the club and one foot in the church. You won’t be happy. After all, you can’t even sin properly because you still have this God conscience, and you can’t even live for God properly because you still have this sin conscience. You have to choose which world you want to be in. You can’t just twist and contort the Scripture. You’ll be like some type of gymnast to fit it into your worldview and try to make you feel like you’re a believer in Jesus. You need to choose who you are going to serve. 

Joe Theismann, an NFL quarterback turned ESPN commentator, was trying to explain years ago why he had an affair. He told his wife that God wanted me to be happy, so I had the affair. Now, the only reason someone will twist and inject God into that is that they have their own spin on the 10 Commandments. And if truth be told, many of us do the same. 

Why am I not happy? Because happiness doesn’t come from us trying to have a foot in the world and a foot in a church. It comes from habits that you must practice. It’s a personal choice. It’s you becoming more easily satisfied. It’s you recognizing that you must pursue purpose. It’s you saying I must enjoy God. Happiness is a gift that God gives us. 

Let’s pray for God to help us choose happiness: Dear Father, let me become more easily satisfied. Help me to recognize my purpose and serve you in the way you have shaped me. Let me enjoy your presence. Thank you for the gift of happiness. Amen. 

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Some things are better to let go of, and then there are things worth fighting for. Community is one of those things worth fighting for. Your church community is worth your time, effort, sweat, and pain. 

The greater the struggle, the greater the reward.

Before you continue reading this teaching, please pray with me: Dear Father, I ask that you deepen our awareness of your love for us and how we need to deepen our love for one another. In Christ’s name, Amen. 

My topic today is Building Our Community. 

The church is a family that loves to see each other and spend time together. The only way to have a healthy family and church community is to build healthy relationships. The Bible has a lot to say about what it means to connect with one another and for us to be a community. 

I want to spend some time in the Book of Acts, specifically chapter 2. To give you some background, it was the day of Pentecost. People were baptized in the Holy Spirit, and Peter got up and preached his very first sermon. After speaking, 3,000 people gave their lives to Christ, the Early Church’s birth. 

Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day. They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teachings and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and they ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. Acts 2:41-47 (NIV) 

The Bible uses a term to describe an experience that we all should have. The word is saved. This means to be set free, healed and made whole. When Jesus Christ enters someone’s life then they are saved. Why? Their sins have been forgiven, and they’ve paid their debt before God by accepting the gift of Jesus as their Savior. When this happens, you need to be a part of a community. You need to be in a place you belong and have a sense of connection. The Early Church was a community. 

Why Do I Need Community? 

When the people got saved, they were added to their number (them being the apostles). This means they were added to the group. This was a Church in Jerusalem, the first Church in the Bible. This idea of community was not a thought that came from the apostles. The Church didn’t have the original idea for a community. It was God’s desire. God put it in each person’s heart to have a sense of wanting and connection. On that single day of Pentecost, 3,000 people gave their lives to Christ. What a harvest. The interesting thing is that they were no longer just Jews and no longer just Gentiles. These were individuals who had found their Messiah. They were no longer what they used to be, and now they were searching for a community and place of belonging. When you join a community, it takes a lot of risks. You must be vulnerable and open to connecting with people you may not have known. 

“There can be no vulnerability without risk; there can be no community without vulnerability; there can be no peace, and ultimately no life, without community.” 

— M. Scott Peck (Author) 

We need each other, and we need a community. The thought of living for Christ without support is disastrous. It’s a place of belonging and connects with the deepest thing in me. 

“Individualism is the preoccupation with the freedom of individuals to make their decisions, live the way they want to live, and to believe that anything that violates this view of life ‘is sacrilegious.’ ” 

— Samovar, L. & Porter, R. (Author) 

I am not suggesting that you should not be an individual where you have your growth plans or goals. You should do that. You need to grow spiritually, but remember that when you become a follower of Jesus Christ, you are considered part of the “called out ones.” The word church comes from the Greek word ekklesia, which means “called out ones.” God calls you out of individualism and into the community. The Christian faith is communal. You can’t be all God has called you to be if you simply live an individualized life. If you do that, I question your salvation. Jesus said that people would know you are my disciples by your love for one another. Who can you show love to if you’re not living communally? 

The Bible calls us to live in a community and not practice individualism. When you deal with communal living, it increases growth, whereby individualism decreases growth. You may be asking yourself, how so? It takes a lot of growth to know how to interact with someone different than you. If you were to just live in an individual mindset, you wouldn’t care about anyone else, so you wouldn’t be able to grow in those areas. When I contrast the two, community living models faith, and individualism models fear. How does one model faith? You can trust the Scripture that says you are your brother’s keeper, and you connect with people. But when you live in an individualistic mindset, it says that you are afraid of people and don’t want to be bothered by them. You are guarding yourself, and that is very different than faith. Living in a community promotes obedience, and individualism promotes disobedience. 

From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament… Ephesians 4:16 (NIV)

The Bible always gives the metaphor that the local Church is like a body. Your toes don’t live independently from your foot, and your foot doesn’t live apart from your leg. Living in a community strengthens the Church, while living in individualism weakens it. When you live in a community, you get to share your gifts, and the community benefits from them. When you live in individualism, you don’t get a chance to exercise your gifts and nobody benefits from them. 

Do I Fit This Community? 

To fit in is a very good thing. When you fit in, you feel like you belong. Acts 2 points out that they spent time learning together and were like a family to each other. Here the Scripture points out that these individuals started living together and had a sense of belonging. It means to be connected, feel a sense of inclusion and feel accepted. 

“Home is not where you live but where they understand you.” 

— Christian Morgan Stern (German Author) 

People in general liked what they saw. Every day their number grew as God added those who were saved. Acts 2:47 (MSG) 

The community is a place of belonging. The Early Church did four things regularly together. They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teachings, they devoted themselves to fellowship, they devoted themselves to breaking bread and they devoted themselves to prayer. 

How Can I Build This Community? 

There is a word that better describes the kind of community a church is, and the Latin word is communitas. This means working together collaboratively so that you can come through difficulties and obstacles in your path. We are all trying to do life, and together we are trying to promote Jesus and live for Him. In today’s society, where it is so difficult to fit in, we need community. We need to strengthen and encourage each other. 

You build a community by discovering your gifts and developing them. When you are in a community, they can help you realize your gifts and how to use them. Building a community is just like a healthy family. Every healthy family has a set of chores to do, and everyone pitches in for the greater good.

All the believers continued to meet together often. They shared all their things with each other. They sold some of their own things. Then they gave that money to any believers who needed it. The whole group of believers met together every day in the yard of the temple. They shared their food and they ate meals together in each other’s homes. They were very happy and they were honest with each other. Acts 2:44-46 (NIV) 

When you deal with building a community, it means that you use your gifts and share the real you. It is about realism and authenticity. We build a community because we want to do life together. 

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (NIV) 

What is Paul saying? He is telling us that we’re building a community through self-discovery and development and building up each other even though we are flawed. Sometimes we will make mistakes and get on each other’s nerves. This is what it means to be a part of a community. If you’re looking for a perfect church, it is not out there. There is no perfect place and no perfect person. We are all flawed and complicated people, but we are all going in the direction of wanting to serve Christ and do our best for God. You have to learn to work through conflicts. Don’t practice the tenants of cancel culture and cut everyone off. Cancel culture breeds immature people. It breeds people that don’t understand how to rationalize or work through conflicts. Building a healthy community gives people space and time to grow in Christ and maturity. 

I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live.” 

— George Bernard Shaw (Author & Playwright) 

I encourage you to be a part of a community where you feel connected. I pray that God helps you find a Christ-centered community that loves people and brings others closer to Christ. 

Let’s end our time in prayer: Dear Jesus, help me find a community where I feel accepted, included and wanted. Help me find my gift in this community and use my gift for others. In Christ’s name, Amen.