Kevin Sterling's Blog - Posts Tagged "flirting"

If you’ve read any of my novels, you probably noticed that Jack Lazar flirts with style and skill, and he usually (although not always) gets what he’s after. That’s because he’s learned a few things about what to do and, more importantly, what NOT to do when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex.

Fortunately, Jack has authorized me to pass on a few of his secrets, so here goes:

1. Dress well.

Women are particularly drawn to men who look stylish and elegant. After all, they spend a lot of time looking fabulous for us, so why shouldn’t we do the same for them?

Like Barney Stinson of HIMYM fame, you’ll often see Jack wearing a suit or at least a sport coat, even with jeans. His haircut is chic and carries a nice combination of control and disarray. He appears both sophisticated and affluent, which is what most women want in a man, after all.

If you come across a woman who’s looking for a sloppily dressed scalawag with no apparent prospects, you might want to move on...unless you happen to be one of those, in which case you can knock yourself out.

2. Don’t use an opening line.

If you’re a guy who usually agonizes over what to say to a pretty girl, rest assured that you never have to do it again. Just use the Jack Lazar approach by walking over and introducing yourself. What could possibly be simpler than that? Coming up with some witty and wholly unique line to break the ice is not only unnecessary, it’s virtually impossible. So keep it simple and natural like you have every reason to speak with each other instead of making it obvious that it’s up for debate.

After all, women are intelligent creatures who are often more astute than their male counterparts, so they really don’t appreciate a man who tries to pull one over on them. To the contrary, they value open and honest communication from the very start, which they hope will be carried throughout the duration of the relationship.

Yes, Jack usually comes up with one or two witty remarks to disarm the young lady he’s speaking with, but that won’t ever happen if he doesn’t make it past the introduction.

3. Buy any and all of her drinks.

Forget the anti-sexist remarks you may have heard to the contrary. Most women enjoy the romanticism of a man who accepts the chivalrous duty of buying her cocktails, even if it doesn’t lead to anything. If she actually doesn’t like being treated like a princess, you have another reason to move on, especially if you’re a hopeless romantic like Jack who loves to shower women with adoration and all the drinks that go along with it.

Of course, don’t use buying drinks as a pick-up line because you don’t need one, remember?

The words “May I buy you a drink” are just…well…crap. Establish contact first, man your post, then make it clear in a gentlemanly fashion that you will be buying her cocktails for the remainder of the evening. You are confident, in charge, and handling the situation in your role as an elegant and formidable male of the species, just like Jack.

4. You shouldn’t care if it works out.

Women can spot desperation in a heartbeat, and they won’t hesitate to drop back and punt (yay for football analogies!). So Jack has a simple strategy – flirt for fun. How can he possibly convey an air of power and sophistication if he’s hanging desperately on the results?

Besides, you’re out on the town to enjoy yourself, so it makes sense to have a good time no matter what. Life is too short to do otherwise, don’t you think?

When Jack sees an opportunity to play, he plays, regardless of where it leads. Besides, sometimes wanting is an even better thing than having. I believe it was Spock who said that.

No, not the pediatrician/child psychiatrist. The Vulcan. From Star Trek. But I digress. And I’ve foolishly revealed my geek status. Brilliant.

5. Disarm her…just a little.

Okay, here’s where things get delicate. You don’t want to put her down or, God forbid, place her on the defensive. Flirting and mischievous banter should be about having fun (have you noticed a theme here?) as well as firing up the yin-yang in opposite sex relationships. So turn up the heat, just not too high.

Jack is always careful in these situations, but he evaluates the adventurous spirit in the women he’s interacting with and gets bold when he sees an opportunity.

Here’s what he did on a recent trip to Copenhagen when he approached a gorgeous and remarkably young-looking girl who was drinking a glass of Champagne at a bar. This puts everything together:

He strolled to the end of the bar and extended his hand. “Hi. I’m Jack Lazar.”

Her hand was ice cold, and she seemed to gravitate toward his warmth. “I’m Katarina. But my friends call me ‘Kat’.”

Jack grinned. “Of course they do.”

“Would you like to sit down?” Her accent was unusual, but sounded reasonably similar to the other Danish strains he had heard since arriving in Copenhagen. Still, there was something unique about hers, and it was remarkably appealing.

“Absolutely.” He took the adjoining barstool and turned to face her. “So, Kat. What are you doing here all by yourself? Isn’t this a school night?”

She narrowed her eyes. “May I assume that’s a commentary on how young I look?”

“You assume correctly.”

“Ha-ha. It just so happens I’m twenty-six.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.” She nodded her head, eyebrows emphatically raised.

“I never would have guessed. So, what do you do for a living?”

Please don’t say hooker. Please don’t say hooker.

“I’m an accountant.”

Thank God.

“An accountant? You don’t look like an accountant.”

“Really? So, what does an accountant look like?”

Jack stroked his chin, realizing that he had just backed himself into a corner. But he was determined to play it cool. “Not like you, that’s for sure. You look more like a…”

She tilted her head. “Yes?”

“I don’t know. Like a…”

“Be careful, Jack. Like a what?”

“Like an NFL cheerleader. And with your rather sizeable head of hair, I’d say a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader.”

Kat laughed. “You may not think a girl all the way over here in Scandinavia knows what that means, but I do.”

“Okay, then tell me.”

“It means I’m just here for my good looks, sex appeal and dancing ability…which, I might add, you haven’t even seen yet.”

“Yet? Well, I don’t have to see it. The way you look, no one will care if you can dance. Especially me.”

“Oh really?” She seemed to like that. A lot.

“Yeah, really.”

“So. What do you do for a living, Jack?”

“I’m in mergers and acquisitions.”

“That sounds interesting…if not highly lucrative.”

“I can’t complain.”

She smiled. “So you’re rich.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to.” She visually examined his suit, tie and shoes before fondling the lapel of his jacket between her fingers. “Armani?”

“Yes.”

She glanced down. “Italian loafers?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And the tie looks…um…Valentino?”

“Damn, you’re good.”

(The previous excerpt was taken from Lazar’s Target, the latest Jack Lazar novel from Kevin Sterling)