Veronica Strachan's Blog

Now, I know it might seem odd to take my Joy from The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows — John Koenig’s masterful collection of made up words — but bear with me.

All the words in the Dictionary are new, and this is important… they’re “not necessarily intended to be used in conversation, but to exist for their own sake, to give a semblance of order to a dark continent, so you can settle it yourself on your own terms, without feeling too lost — safe in the knowledge that we’re all lost.”

Writing fanta...

My Christmas is coming early this year. The #6amAusWriters of Twitter and friends are delivering my present on November 11.

Christmas Australis: A Frighteningly Festive Anthology of Spine Jingling Tales is being released on November 11. It’s an ebook collection of eight stories that share the Australian experience of Christmas — from the authors point of view anyway.

With December in Aus being summer, we spend December 25 under the air conditioner or at the beach — gorging on salads and guzzling cold...

Have you ever sat at a red light and watched people cross the road in front of you? Ever wondered what their lives are like? Then you’ve pondered sonder.

Sonder is grist for the mill of human kindness, connecting us to the web of humanity. It’s an opportunity to recognise and interact, albeit at a distance, with the people around you.

So what’s sonder?

Sonder is defined as

the realisation that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own – populated with their own a...

Did you ever do that when you played hidey as a kid?

Your turn to count to 100?

OK.

1, 2, skip a few… 99, 100. Coming ready or not.

That’s what life has felt like recently. Big change. Coming, ready or not.

It’s been an eventful and tumultuous last few months. That’s my line and I’m holding to it. Though sometimes holding the line feels like I’m holding a handful of balloons…

…and sometime a bucket full of stones.

Coming out this side, albeit slowly, I’m determined to be grateful for the a...

You should have more fun!

What on earth does that mean? Fun according to who?

Can you see where this is going?

The sound of ‘should’ tends to bring my shoulders up to my ears. I figure I’m getting a little long in the tooth to be told what I should and shouldn’t do. So when someone (especially me) tells me I ‘should’ do something, it’s a flag to stop, reflect and reconsider. Who says I should do it? Why?

I ‘should’ still be in bed. It’s a public holiday here in Melbourne (for the footy Grand...

A pensive Idris Elba peers down at me from the dreamboard above my desk. His subtle reminder?

Shouldn’t you be writing?

Absolutely, and I have been. Almost every day for months.

Dreamboat. Yes, he is. Oh, I misheard you, you asked about the dreamboard. Yep, he’s on that too.

Why a dreamboard? Aren’t I a practical, evidence-based kind of person. Yep, I am. And I’m also exploring a conscious, joyful life, being creative and curious. And I love a visual, so the dreamboard works for me.

My life...

I’m curious. Why do we have to wait for things? I mean really, when you want it, feel it, see it, and work for it, you should get it now, right ?

Sometimes I really struggle with the whole, wait for it to happen, let nature take its course, go with the flow. What the heck is “the flow” anyway? Is it the thunderous torrents of water over the cliff edge, the moon driven tides that ebb and flow in the bay, or the muddy trickle of the creek in drought?  Or all of the above?

I feel like my flow is kind of like a dam

Up top is a huge still, deep lake, all is calm. Look past the surface, behind the dam wall, the spill-gate is struggling to keep the pressure to a reasonable level. It stands to reason, that every now and again you have to open more gates or the dam will burst because there is more and more flow coming into the lake from all over the place. The village in the valley is always in danger of drowning.

And what happens when  your flow is just a few muddy puddles and some thirsty dog comes along and tries to drink it all?

Back to waiting…

I am not the most patient person in the world. I know right, you never would have guessed. And I am only admitting to about half the things I’ve done and still do. This is a character trait of long standing. Two decades ago, a colleague gave out small cross-stitched saying for Christmas and mine read…

Give me patience, but please hurry.

She summed me up brilliantly. I’m the kind of person who will still be working and living life full on till the day I die. How about you? I love working, because I love the work that I do, and I love life, this world is so freaking huge and complex and entertaining, how can you sit still and wait? There are people to see, places to go, things to do.

Look at history, if everyone had waited, would we still be living in caves, grubbing in the dirt, foraging for dinner? I don’t think so. And look at now, millions killing themselves prematurely with overwork, rubbish at relationships and dissatisfied with life.

How do we find the balance between strive and surrender?

Some days I believe as humans we are fundamentally lazy, wired to take the easiest and shortest route to whatever base desire pops up. Often happens on days when the pirate of procrastination steals my day and leaves me dazzled with a handful of cheap and shiny distractions. I see it in apathetic, isolationist attitudes on trains, streets, in meetings and workshops—leave it to someone else to do something about it, or to work for it, achieve something. It’s seems easier to whinge than work.

Then there are those days when I’m brought to tears or face cracking smiles by the (wait for it) awesomeness (yes, there it is) of creativity, compassion, generosity and resilience of individuals, teams and communities who make their mark, make a difference and make things change. And yes, there are days when I put myself in the awesomeness tribe.

I don’t know the whole answer to finding a concordant me—that aligned harmony that I get when I am of one mind, heart and soul. Jury is still out on that one.

Though if you have been waiting and not doing anything for a while…

Just saying…

What am I waiting for right now?

At the moment, I’m waiting to break the habit of a lifetime, the habit of being busy for its own sake, mired in the mess that’s in front of me.  I’m not really waiting, that’s the problem. I’m trying to do something to learn how to wait better. To go with that dam(n) flow. Working class work ethic, entrepreneurial leanings and unquenchable curiosity are making it difficult, but not impossible to chillax and enjoy what I have. I have a wonderful, remarkable life, isn’t that enough?

Some days I get it right, and some days I feel like I will be the oldest person still wondering what I’ll be when I grow up. I guess I’ll have to wait till then. Nah, probably not.

What are you waiting for? Or do you need to get curious and get going? Time’s ticking people.

You could go with the flow and do something at the same time by downloading the journal exercise  “I Love, I Value, I Choose”. 

Thanks for reading.

And if you’d rather listen to me read the blog, head over to SoundCloud HERE

Veronica

If you’d like some sneak peaks at my next book, sign up to my Book Friends list in the  website footer to get my irregular newsletter.

The post How hard is it to wait? appeared first on Veronica Strachan.

Finishing the first draft of my second book is magical—for a moment—then it’s kind of, well, nothing. Having set aside the whole day to write, I’d been feeling a little weird all day, kind of shaky, gut churning.  And when I finished, well there it was, finished. And I immediately started to think about the  whopping amount of revision I would have to do, the next hill to climb. Sigh…

Now,  before I share some lessons, let me tell you that the anticipation of finishing this draft was a done deal. I had negotiated with the book and the characters that today was the day. Having conversations with the characters and the book, letting them tell me the story, is all part of the writing process that Tom Bird teaches. He is definitely worth checking out if you are serious about  writing and tapping into what he calls, your divine author within.

So, here’s the next book update. I’ve finished this draft in 6 weeks, and this is not a pamphlet people, the first draft is 111,719 words. Much quicker than my last book Breathing While Drowning, which took 7 months (and twenty years). I’ll write about the process another time ‘cos today it’s all about finishing, fun and fitting in, lessons from the fauna in my life.

Have a think for a moment

What do you do when you have finished something you have been wanting or trying to get done for ages? Do you stop and celebrate, do you move on immediately to the next thing, or are you somewhere in between?

Lesson number 1

Remember to have fun, be noisy and hang out with your family and friends. A great reminder as I emerge from working in the office is  the screeching of a mob of cockatoos who are regular visitors to the trees in our backyard. You can’t help but smile at their antics, they always sound like they are having way too much fun. Mind you if they were human, they would probably be asked to leave for being too noisy.

Stopping to celebrate finishing is definitely the way to go. So, get noisy – like a mob of cockatoos. Have fun, screech loudly about what you’ve achieved, tell friends, family and anyone who will listen. 

Celebrate every little milestone, not just the big ones. My second book is a long way from finished, but hey, the first draft is finished. Fun needs to be a regular entry on your calendar, it will help you re-charge those creative batteries. Have time with friends, book yourself an artist’s date, chill out with a good read or a good wine. Mmm, maybe I’ll do all of these.

Lesson number 2

Check out the picture.

The cat bed is not big enough for Ash the cat, she likes to have her whole body stretched out lounging in front of the fire so that all of her is exposed to the heat. She ignores the obvious cat bed, and chooses the most comfy bed for her, the dog’s bed. Great lesson.

Just because there is an obvious or expected way to do things, doesn’t mean you have to choose that way.

Choose a way that works best for you, even if it means stepping out of the box.

And let’s face it, cats will always choose exactly what they want, they are the ultimate practitioners of self-indulgence.

When was the last time you were a little self-indulgent?

Do you let yourself choose the first slice of cake, or take the last biscuit? What about at work? Do you put your hand up straight away for what you want, or do you always let other people go first and end up with the left overs? Being self-indulgent is tricky for obligers like me, we always tend to put other people’s needs first, and leave our own expectations out in the cold.

Do you need a little practice at putting yourself first? Try being a little self-indulgent this week and see how you go. Choose one thing you really love and go do that—and don’t forget to enjoy it.

Lesson number 3

Now look at the Gibbs the dog. Trying to squeeze his huge frame into the too small cat’s bed. What lessons can he teach us? He is a super friendly dog, and he gets on well with Ash so rather than push her out, he took the left-over bed, even though he obviously doesn’t fit. He’s made the best of what he had available, and hey, he is snoozing and he does have prime posi in front of the fire, so despite being a bit uncomfortable, he’s made it work for him.

This can be a good thing or a not-so-good thing.

Is there something you have been trying do that feels too small?

What have you settled for in your personal or professional life that is really not a good fit—and is never going to be? Even though you tell yourself that being close to the fire makes up for the teeny tiny space you have.

Maybe it’s time to get a bigger bed, a bigger idea, a bigger dream? Or to be even bolder, go build your own fire.

Have a think about where you are trying to squeeze into a smaller life. What could you do to change that?

How could you start?

You could download the journal exercise  “I Love, I Value, I Choose” and get closer to working out what’s important to you.

Thanks for reading.

And if you’d rather listen to me read the blog, head over to SoundCloud HERE

Veronica

If you’d like to read my first book first, gift yourself a copy of Breathing While Drowning: One Woman’s Quest for Wholeness.

 

The post Finishing, fun and fitting in – lessons from cockatoos, cats, and dogs appeared first on Veronica Strachan.

By something, I don’t mean that fabulous pair of boots you saw last week that will go with every outfit you own. I mean like wanting something that makes your head go crazy with excitement and anticipation every time you think of it.

For me, that’s wanting to write full time, in my own time, in my own space. To have people read my words, so that they land somewhere and mean something, make a difference to the way people think, feel, act and believe.

I don’t believe you can want something too much

I believe the strength of the wanting helps you hang in there when the dream seems very far away. But, I do believe you can get in your own way and trip yourself up so that getting to what you want can seem like a never-ending journey. I believe that the journey is rarely a straight line. And hey, curves make things interesting, right? Absolutely. Who needs a straight line? Just because it’s the shortest distance between two points. Boring.

So, as you guessed it. Yes, to those who follow my blog regularly. I did get in my own way at the writing retreat in Hawaii—for a while. And then, with Tom Bird’s help, I got out of my way, out of my head, and started to write. There’s a big difference from writing non-fiction to fiction—again, who knew?

I had to spend a whole lot of time getting to know the characters in the story before I could let them tell me the story. Apparently, I’m not the author, I’m merely the scribe. The story is flowing now, the first draft is well on the way  and I’ll keep you updated through the blog. Many people at the retreat got their first draft written and some were well into their revision. Strack and the other Veronica, both have their books drafted.

How do you get back on track?

There are a few things that I’ve gathered over the last few years that help me to get myself back on the road after a detour. Cos, and don’t fall off your chair laughing, I am a bit of an overthinker. I know, right—who knew? I love to think deeply, and I love complex concepts and problems. If I have an Achilles heel, then it’s learning new things. You can sidetrack me really easily with something new to learn. Though the flip side is that I also love simple solutions. The quickest and shortest ways to get things done. Hang on, didn’t I say that was boring? Mmm. Now you can start to see how I can get in my own way.

My advice to you (and me)…

Follow the curves, enjoy the ride, they’ll swing around again eventually.

For me, between the over thinking, being a recovering perfectionist, and a chronic obliger, it’s a wonder I ever I get anything done for myself. Yet somehow, I not only get stuff done; in the past few years I’ve changed many of my beliefs about myself and the world, and I’m interacting in a much more conscious way. I’ve re-discovered my ‘self.’ I say re-discovered, because I was always there, I didn’t go away, I was just on pause, or slow forward if you like. As I learned there were different ways to be, for a while  at least, I kind of tipped into fast forward, swinging wildly from one thing to the other as I tried the latest thing on the personal transformation track.

Now I feel like I’m—more or less—playing at the correct speed. This self is far from perfect, hence the recovering. In fact, I like to think she’s pretty fabulous, feisty and flawed, and that’s OK with the rest of her/me—most of the time.

How do you get out of your own way?

For your first step,  I love this…

The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.

– J.P. Morgan

That’s where I began. Cue the song… “I’ve gotta get outa this place. If it’s the last thing I ever do.”

Step two, start working out your why. Why do you want that thing so badly? Does it feed your passion, your purpose, underpin your values, give meaning to your life?

 

Step three, take a moment and let yourself dream. If you had that something, what would your life be like? Give yourself time to colour in your dream destination so that you can see, smell, feel and touch it. Write in your journal, paint a picture, chat to a friend.

My why is helping people move from ‘I can’t’ to ‘I can’.

It works for me.  I knew there had to be something better, a deeper life, a richer and more meaningful life. I wanted a life lived vibrantly with more joy, more love and more peace. I felt this really deeply, and so in a hundred small ways I began on the how, getting myself from I can’t to I can. That’s what took me from a filtered life to a life with eyes wide open, and all the possibilities laid out right there for me to choose.

Moving from I can’t to I can

Here’s a little sample of what I moved:

I can’t throw caution and a regular pay to the wind and start my own company. Yes, I can. It’s now four years later and I am still in business. Just me, doing my own thing, sometimes with great friends and colleagues and clients, and sometimes just me, just the way I like it.
I can’t write a book, sharing my intimate, most vulnerable memories of losing my youngest daughter at four years old, and spending the next twenty years recovering. Yes, I can.

Now be warned, that voice in your head always has a comeback. OK, so I wrote one book, but you can’t write a second book. Yes, I can. Watch this space.

What would it take to get you to ‘yes, I can’?

What is that voice telling you that you can’t do?

You could start with learning a little more about what you love and value; then it’s easier to picture your destination with those things as your signposts, you can choose differently, to change and head towards your dreams.  Try the  “I love, I value, I choose” exercise. You could move a step closer to ‘I can’ right now by downloading the exercise and gifting yourself 20 minutes to complete it.  Here’s the link…

Thanks for reading.

And if you’d rather listen to me read the blog, head over to SoundCloud HERE.

Veronica

If you’d like to read my first book, Breathing While Drowning: One Woman’s Quest for Wholeness, before the next one is released, gift yourself a copy HERE. And get cracking ‘cos the next one is coming soon, maybe not as soon as I originally thought, but I’m riding the curves, and I’ll be back around soon.

The post Can you want something too much? appeared first on Veronica Strachan.

Valerie Khoo and Alison Tait (from the podcast “So you want to be a Writer”) issued a word of the week challenge the other day. Use “gongoozler” in a blog post somewhere.

So how does gongoozler fit into a blog on living a conscious, joyful life? Tips on life, loss and my literary dreams. It fits very easily. Gongoozler means an idle spectator. And if you know me, or have read any of my blogs, you know that I consciously gave up being a gongoozler a few years ago. I decided enough is enough, time to learn to feel and heal, no more letting someone else drive, or working myself to death for someone else’s dream. I made a choice to change, to be a fully committed participant in my own life, and to follow my own dreams of writing.

A writer’s dream

When I think of the dreams I have for myself in this life, writing is still way up there. I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was a little girl. Fast forward five and a bit decades—and I am a published author. Yay! However, Book #1 took me about seven months (and twenty years) to write. This was Breathing While Drowning: One Woman’s Quest for Wholeness, my memoir of my return to a vibrant life after the death of my young daughter Jacqui Bree. Taking twenty years to write a book is not going to give me a writer’s life. It’s really only dipping my toe in the water. I need to put my participator in top gear and put the gongoozler firmly back on to her seat by the canal to watch the boats go by (this is where the word gongoozler originated by the way).

Book #2

So, next week, I’m going to write Book #2 in 4 days—seriously. What the? Yep, I’m heading to Turtle Bay in Hawaii with Strack and the other Veronica, and I’m going to write my second book, and maybe even start my third at a writing retreat. Exciting, ridiculous, and maybe a bit of both. We’re attending a Tom Bird Write your Book in a Weekend workshop. And I have no idea what I’m going to write, nor does Strack or the other Veronica, or anybody else attending. It all happens at the retreat, and we are in Tom’s safe hands.

So what’s it all about?

This workshop is part of my coaching program this year with the Groover’s Awaken Your Impact. We’ve been preparing by attending some of Tom Bird’s free writing workshops online, and reading his book Write to Heal which has a whole stack of exercises to do. The exercises help you move a whole lot of stuff out of your life to make space for the book(s). I’m all on board with de-cluttering my past rubbish, sort of like Marie Kondo for the heart and spirit. It should be no surprise to anyone that I had plenty more stuff to let go. So I should have stacks of space for writing now. I don’t think there will be a single gongoozler in sight.

Watch this space and I’ll keep you up to date with my writing progress. For those of you who know I am still a bit work focused, yes I will be spending the following week as a tourist, seeing more of Hawaii.

Now it’s time to ask yourself…

Are you a gongoozler in your own life?

If the answer is yes, what small step could you take to change and become a participant again? When was the last time you did something fun, just for you? Maybe it’s time to do that today.

And, by the by, if you do want to be a writer, Val and Al’s podcast is a must. And even if you don’t want to be a writer, they are hilarious and entertaining. I love that their banter is in Strine (that’s Australian English in case you didn’t know), and they talk about things and places I’m familiar with – though it does get a bit Sydney-centric naturally. They also have stacks of great information on the practicalities of writing and they interview some fabulous authors. So, head over to writerscentre.com.au and have a listen. You may end up like I do, skipping other podcasts to get to Val & Al’s next episode.

Don’t just sit there now. Go and do something.

Thanks for reading.

And if you’d rather listen to me read the blog, head over to SoundCloud HERE.

Veronica

If you’d like to read my first book, Breathing While Drowning: One Woman’s Quest for Wholeness, before the next one is released, gift yourself a copy HERE. And get cracking ‘cos the next one is coming soon.

The post Are you a gongoozler in your life? appeared first on Veronica Strachan.