Madelyn Morgan's Blog

Many of my music business colleagues are saying #METOO. I don’t know how I missed that boat. But now that I think about it, maybe I didn’t. It made me think a few things about myself.

Was I not hot enough in the 80’s, 90’s and 00’s to be a victim of inappropriate behavior in the workplace? (At a record company, the “workplace” could be a club or an arena or a restaurant, where alcohol is present)
Was I naive, and just missed it when it was happening to those around me?
Did it actually happen to me, and I’m so thick-skinned and jaded that I wasn’t fazed?

I am going to go with #3. I think that women like me (and by “like me,” I mean ballsy, brash, tough… you know the type) metaphorically punch and hit back. We basically don’t tolerate being abused in any form. Men mostly know this about women like me, so they think, “why bother?”

However, if I had a dime for every time I got patted on the ass, or touched creepily around the waist, or had to fend off an attempt at a kiss, I’d have at least a dollar.

Why did I think it was OK to just shrug that stuff off? Maybe because when at a show, after a couple of drinks, and everyone involved is feeling loose, and comfortable with each other, it feels almost acceptable. Almost funny, even. Looking back now, as a wiser, more experienced, less tolerant, grown-ass woman, I realize it was not at all acceptable. But I can’t disrespect the #METOO sayers; so for me, it’s more like #IDONTREALLYREMEMBER, and #HEWASADICK.

 

Stop staring at me

I am going to get hell for this, I understand, but why is this allowed? Many of us are allergic to animals. Why do airlines allow dogs in the cabin? A few of you have said, “Well, it’s not as bad as a crying baby.” But to me, a barking dog is most definitely worse than a baby. Every time this guy moved around, dog hairs wafted in my general direction, so not only did I feel sneezy for the 2.5 hour flight, but some of those hairs stuck to my clothes. Ew. State law prohibits dogs in grocery stores for a reason. Mad About Men addresses this very topic in one of my favorite chapters, “Therapy Cock.” Which doesn’t seem related to dogs on planes. But it is. You’ll see.

 

 

I can’t find the official source of this, but there is a popular theory floating around the internets lately: You have just three major loves in your lifetime.

This is not the “three love theory,” by anthropologist Helen Fisher, which is a whole other theoretical ball of wax (her three loves are passion, lust, and commitment, which we’ll address on a future Mad About Men).

The three loves of your life, according to this unaccredited theory, are:

Your first love. This is an idealistic love that happens when you’re young. It’s naïve and impractical.
Hard love. The one you learn the most from, the one you (hopefully) grow from, this love is the most difficult because it brings you pain, heartache, and desperation – but also growth.
Surprise love. This love comes when you least expect it, and you don’t see it coming. This is the love that finally reveals to us the reason that all prior loves have left the picture.

So, where are you?

Email me: MadAboutMen98@gmail.com

My friend and Mad About Men Radio Show partner, Kirk McEwen and I talked openly on his podcast. We discussed things we can’t talk about on our terrestrial radio show. And yikes! He asked me some VERY personal questions, and because I am so comfortable with him, I gave the #nofilter version. Fast forward to 46:46.

 

“What really knocks me out is a book that, when you’re done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn’t happen much, though.” – Holden Caulfield (actually, –  J.D. Salinger, as Holden Caulfield is a fictional character).

That’s a super-famous, over-used quote that I couldn’t help but to use anyway. You see, that’s the exact feeling I had hoped to evoke from readers of my book, Mad About Men. My question about the quote, though, is this: What doesn’t happen much? That you feel that way about a book? Or, that you can’t call the author on the phone? Because in my case, you can call me. You can totally call me, email me, text me, DM me, Tweet me, FB Message me, PM me on Goodreads, whatever. Wait. On second thought, don’t call me. I usually don’t answer private numbers. Or numbers that I don’t recognize. Or any number, really. So, nevermind, don’t call me. But please do email.

 

Follow @madaboutmentofficial on Instagram and tag two friends on today’s post for the chance to win Mad About Men, the audiobook, on Audible!

 

 

Everyone needs a best friend to whom she can spill all her inner horror. I met mine, Chloe, through work during the time I was happily (?) married and she was happily (?) in a relationship with her live-in boyfriend of ten-plus years. Ours is a long distance friendship—she lives in LA—but we still consider ourselves to be best friends. As best friends often do, we live strangely parallel lives, which included parallel devastation when both of our relationships ended.

Because of the distance, we communicate mainly by email. It’s like writing in a diary, only with someone actually on the other side to read your words, laugh at you, and cry along with you… and maybe even provide some advice, for better or worse.

I used to intentionally embellish some of my stories, just to make Chloe laugh. Years ago, one of my emails prompted her to say, “Damn, I’m going to start a blog with all your emails, your shit is so crazy.”

“Well,” I thought, “Why should SHE start a blog with MY stories?” So, I wrote a whole entire book instead.

Have you ever listened to the Mad About Men radio show? It airs on 98 Rock in Baltimore. Assuming you don’t live in Baltimore, I am aware you’ll never remember to stream it live on Wednesdays at 5:30pm (I can barely remember myself). Instead, you can listen to it on SoundCloud or Facebook.

One of my favorite radio segments was the story of my cousin’s baby shower where all the married women in attendance claimed their husbands were assholes. It really made me think about what marriage really is…basically putting up with your own personal asshole; whom you actually love very much. There is a chapter in the book called MAD ABOUT MEN (go figure) which tells this story in greater detail. An excerpt: “…Despite all the moaning about being single that I’ve done in these 200-ish pages, I might just be better off in my current state. Freedom, independence, self-sufficiency, and autonomy sound a hell of a lot more appealing than being married to an asshole for forty years.”

Who’s with me?

When I tell people I wrote a book, they automatically assume it’s a tell-all about my career in the music business. “Do you talk about your time working with KISS?” “Are there any Bon Jovi stories?” “I bet [insert name of annoying ex-boss here] is featured!” “Am I in it?”

No, you’re not fucking in it, and neither is anyone else you know in the music business. And, my job is not my life, so don’t assume that a book about my life is a book is about my job. My career proved gratifying to a point indeed, but my creative juices needed a new outlet. Since my best friend Chloe was always in hysterics from my email stories about my absurd dating situations, I was inspired to write the story of my personal life – mostly to make someone else besides Chloe laugh.

So, yes, I wrote a memoir, but the music business is rarely mentioned, and only for context. So maybe you ARE in it, but not like you may think. Read at your own risk. Or at MY risk, actually.

Paperback/Kindle: Goo.gl/audgKt

iBook: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/mad-...

Audible coming soon!

OK, so…this happened: I wrote a book, MAD ABOUT MEN. To quote myself, “It’s scary to allow others to read your personal confessions. People judge, they can’t help it. So by spilling all these stories out, I am exposing parts of myself that are maybe not so lovely.” And with that, now please now have a laugh at my expense.

I’m Madelyn, relationship correspondent (“correspondent” is a better word than “expert” in my case) for The Kirk McEwen Show on WIYY 98Rock Baltimore, and author of Mad About Men, A MenMoir. 

Let’s talk ish! Got relationship questions? Topics? Issues? Jokes? Email me: MadAboutMen98@gmail.com