RedPhenix's Blog

The Day I Became a MomIncredible, unforgettable, the best day ever. These are often terms new parents use to express how it feels when you welcome a new life in to this world. Mine is no different. It’s been 5 years that Jasmine came to My life though I remember it like it was yesterday. As my first blog post on Empire Weekly: A Mom’s Point of View, I am going to share my experience of the day when my whole world changed. The day that I experience more love than I thought my heart could hold. The day my priorities changed dramatically. The day I became a mom.How the Day Began…It was October 23rd around 1 AM. I woke up to feeling tightening in my belly and back. It was different than the Braxton Hicks that I had experienced periodically before. I was so nervous. My due date was for October 24th. The very next day. I knew that this was the real deal and though I had prepared for everything that we needed, suddenly I was lost, panicking that I had missed something important for our little girl’s arrival. Millions of thoughts flooded my brain as I lay there in bed with the ebb and flow of the oncoming labor, trying to be quiet and count how long I had between them. I got a notebook and began writing down every time the contractions came.I spent a lot of the day checking in with my doctor and updating them on my progress. I walked and walked up and down the neighborhood road and in the park. Anything I could do to progress the labor. Eventually around 3 PM…14 hours into active labor. I was desperate to go to the hospital. My doctor finally told me to head on in and get checked out. When I arrived at the hospital I was checked in rather quickly and I started being monitored. The labor was kind of stuck in place. Constant contractions but no progress in dilation. My nurse came in gave me something per the doctor’s order. It was a shot of something that was to calm me down. They advised me that it was a good idea because I was panicked and it was causing my labor to stop. Outwardly I thought I was VERY calm. Internally I was losing it. I have always had a fear of surgery and giving birth. Irrational at best. I knew this. Now they knew it too. The nurse stabbed me in the leg and told me not to worry. That I would be feeling great soon and that the med was like top shelf tequila… then they sent me home and told me that once I start feeling the contractions again to come back. At the time we lived at least a half hour from the hospital. Fear crept in that I would have this kid on the drive or at home. I begged them to admit me, to let me stay, to no avail. It was about 7 PM and we started our defeated way home.The Real Journey BeginsI got as cozy as one could that is still contracting regularly in my big leather recliner that I had become found of as of late since I had to sleep sitting up over the last few weeks leading up to this moment. I was in a haze for sure. The nurse was right on the button with the top shelf tequila bit. I don’t remember much from this part, but I have been told I was a real chatty Cathy on this medicine. Loose lipped and “wasted”. Roughly 2 hours in I started feeling those contractions coming on WAY stronger that I had before and they were seconds apart. We headed back to the hospital.We got there and went through the whole check in process again. Got all connected to the monitors and began the waiting game. I really don’t remember much from this part. I was exhausted. I had not slept since 1 AM and it was nearing midnight of the 24th. I know that once admitted they had me rolling on a giant medicine ball and the Nurse kept asking me questions…important questions and every time she would talk another contraction would come on. STRONG. At one point I had told her to stop talking until it was over because I couldn’t hear her over the contractions. Today it is quite comical. That day… not so much. After all the questions were answered they got me up and made me walk around the hospital corridor. Over and over. Still I was not dilating much. Eventually they got me back in bed and let me have the epidural. Things got better for me after that. The pain subsided. The relief was unreal. The only downside was that I could not hold up my own legs for pushing.The Big PushFinally, it was time. I had gotten to a 10. The nurse came back in with the doctor and they got worry in their eyes. I had reversed. I started going to a 9. They told me that they were going to have to give me Pitocin to get me back on track and moving forward. I started to push. I can tell you I did not like it. Not one bit. I still felt so defeated. I did not think I could keep it up. I remember they were telling me that the baby and I were getting fevers. I kept panicking. I remember asking how much longer did I have to keep going. I distinctly remember that the nurse told me that I would have to keep pushing for at least 2 more hours if I kept pushing the way I was. She made me feel like a failure. I would never wish that experience on anyone.About a half hour later my daughter came in to this world. October 24th at 3:25 AM, on her due date. Healthy and the most perfect thing I had ever laid eyes on. The fever had gone from us both and I was in shock that I had gotten though one of the hardest things I had ever done. Though I was practically alone in this experience, I had still done it and I had received the biggest blessing. Jasmine Nichole.This little girl has shown me a whole new level of what it is to love and be loved. I am grateful and overjoyed to be a mother and to have embarked on this adventure.-S

Don't let social media fool you on what #RelationshipGoals really are. This past weekend I went to a pool party in Vegas and the women there were acting real classy and what not.. until the DJ started playing 'Don't stop pop that, don't stop what you twerking with' and when I tell you all the formal ladies turned into stripper freaks (I say stripper freaks because 'stripper' is a profession they get paid to create an illusion through dancing and we as consumers pay them for such service, so don't get this misconstrued because I fuck with strippers).I know you all heard the saying a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets. I thought this pool party was bouta turn into a porno.. Wanna know why? Because men see all that ass shaking and clothes removal and they are thinking of one thing and one thing only. SEX. (But if you went to a party in hopes to find a man to begin with than your priorities are all messed up and you should just bypass this post and go log on to FarmersOnly.com or some shit.)Women rant on social media how there aren't any real man out there who 1. Buy flowers, 2. Open doors, 3. Pay bills, 4. Take you out (somewhere other than to ladies free drinks 5. Listen to sum it up I see a lot of post that there aren't any REAL men out there. WRONG.There are a ton of REAL men out here who do all 5 of those things. They just don't do them for you. Know why?! Because you're too busy on social media trying to impress all the dudes (and gals) on your friendslist with half naked pictures and videos. You're too busy curving the nice men because he don't go out every weekend probably because most likely he has a 9-5, a car, a crib and responsibilities. You're too busy entertaining dudes (dudes not men) who still go by nicknames like Man Man who probably sells nickels and dimes of Reggie, lives with his mom (or girlfriend that he lied to you about) ain't never had a lease or a check stub in his name. But since his name is poppin' in the streets (Mostly because he is in the club every weekend), has a nice car (which is probably in his girlfriend's name) and flashes a little money in your face you choose the latter.It's not hard to find a REAL man if you are in fact looking for a Man but most women are looking for boys who will disrespect you in front of his boys and run your credit up GIRL LET THAT GO!!You can't find a REAL man cause thats not what you're searching for. So then the question becomes what is it about yourself that you feel you don't deserve a real man? Cause you do! Leave Pookie and Ray ray 'nem alone and get you a man that wants the same thing you do.But you can't be half naked bussin' it open on Facebook and think Men are going to come running ready to open doors for you, because only door they're going to open for you is the car door to let you out on the side of the damn road somewhere.. cause to get a real man you must first be a real woman..

TRENDING TOPIC.. Rompers! First skinny jeans and now Rompers?! Well let me say, obviously you can wear whatever you want these days there are no gender lines permitted with attire. But Rompers? Seriously! As a woman yes I wear rompers and jumpsuits all of that. But I also sit down when I use the restroom. For a man to wear a romper he has to take the whole thing off and be naked to take a leak. How weird is that to as a man walk into a bathroom and another man is naked at a urinal because he had to take his clothes off due to the fact that is a romper. WOMP WOMP. I've seen ladies put pictures up as if its okay for certain men to wear them and not wear them. Let me just say it is not okay for no man to wear a romper. Why would you even want you man in a romper. You may as well wait for him to say 'Hey baby hold my purse'. Rompers is not a fashion statement for mem.. let that go please!

I recently posed the question 'Does Social media ruin relationships?'. For the most part the outcome was how I thought it would be, men said yes and women said no. Here's the reasoning..For women we feel as if no social media doesn't ruin relationships because we are not in a relationship with social media we are in a relationship with the man (or woman) who has a social media account but may or may not post things that a committed person shouldn't post.You can't get caught on Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter etc doing something that you're not doing right? Its not social media that is making a person do something outside of their character. It's you as a person not having enough willpower to partake in conversations, posts or pictures that YOU should not be doing!For men it's not as easy as 123, and if a woman speaks up about something they dislike on Social Media all of a sudden she is insecure. You see a picture on Facebook and you like the post. Oh then maybe the girl likes something of yours so against your better judgement you decide to slide in her inbox right? Wrong! It could be common courtesy for someone to want to reciprocate the liking of a post or picture.Half the time for men they have a whole relationship that they've been in for maybe 10 years but their Facebook status says 'Single' why? because they feel it isn't anyone's business as to what they are doing and who they are doing it with!Social media doesn't ruin relationships. When you break up with someone its not because Snapchat broke you up. Its because of what that person was doing on Snapchat. Now if you're in a relationship and have a Tender account that may ruin the relationship whether you're on there or not. Tender ruins relationships!