Jennifer Yen's Blog

I know, I know, it's another "serious" post.  What can I say?  My mind's been in a strange place as of late, and I really felt like this was something I wanted to share.As those of you who have been following me for some time know, being an author is not my "real" career.  I spend my days working as a board certified psychiatrist who treats children, adolescents, and adults who are dealing with stresses and difficulties in their lives as well as those who suffer from mental illness.  I only recently discovered writing as a second career (I hope!), and had written in the past primarily for pleasure.One of the topics I deal with a lot in my regular job is bullying.  We're not only talking about the stuff you see in the news all time time, but all sorts of physical, emotional, and psychological bullying.  It isn't just children or teenagers that are affected, but grown adults as well.  We all experience bullying in some part of our lives, whether we recognize it or acknowledge it as such.  Being the victim of bullying can have widespread consequences; at a minimum, it damages our self-esteem and our self-image and creates doubt and insecurity.  At worst, as we have seen publicly, it can drive people to take very serious action and harm themselves or others.There is a lot out there about bullying, and I'm not going to rehash it here on my blog.  I think there are people who have given it a great deal of thought and have expressed themselves more eloquently than I possibly could.  However, there is one type of hidden bullying that I would like to speak out about, and it's one that I feel everyone faces at least once in their lifetime: creative works bullying.The reason why this topic came to mind was actually something I saw on my FB feed a little while back about Corey Feldman.  As someone who does not follow him, it was a surprise to me when I heard that he had gone on the Today show to perform his latest single with his band.  I'll admit, I only saw clips of it and it wasn't really my cup of tea, but the backlash and shade that was thrown his way immediately afterwards was shocking.  Yes, perhaps it wasn't the best thing anyone has ever seen, and maybe he was never going to be the next Elvis, Prince, or Michael Jackson, but I believe that the vitriol that was spewed in his direction was completely unnecessary.  The comments on social media, the internet, and the media was astonishingly disrespectful, to the point where he had to release a statement asking for the public to stop harassing him over it.I understand that when you choose to put yourself in the public eye you open yourself up to others' opinions, but when someone choose to use their words to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively impose their views, this is bullying.  Picking on someone because they do not meet your standards - bullying.  Singling someone out because they don't fit in with what's accepted or "normal" - bullying.  Using name calling and foul language to describe someone or what they do - bullying.  Each one of these acts tears down the victim and makes them feel unworthy, useless, and unaccepted.  Meanwhile, it brings the bullies momentary feelings of superiority, influence, and dominance, but it does not take away the reality that they feel insecure about themselves in some way.  Bullying is a spectrum - it's not always black and white, but the results are the same.  No matter how severely someone is bullied, it is hurtful and damaging.Why does all of this mean anything to me?  Well, one of the things that I was told almost as soon as I decided to publish my work was that I had to have a thick skin.  Why, you ask?  I'm sure you've all seen Youtube comments, mean tweets, and FB comments from people who want to put their two cents in.  Many are shocking, and it's hard to imagine how anyone with such negative thinking could live their lives without backlash.  Sadly, we know that these individuals would never say the same things to someone standing in front of them (or even over the phone), but a computer screen provides just enough depersonalization to take away the fear of retaliation.  For creative artists, it's bad enough that you're putting your heart and soul into something and taking the risk of being rejected, but everyone who feels they are entitled to an opinion abuses the anonymity of the internet to push past the boundaries of criticism to downright hate.I am currently a self-published, or indie published, author.  Bullying, especially in indirect and mild forms, is present all around me.  Whether it's agents, readers, publishers, or even other authors, there's an unspoken acceptance for bad behavior because "that's how the industry works."  For example, when I started looking for agents, I distinctly recall contacting a local one with the naive belief that I would receive a warm reception.  What I got instead was skepticism with a hint of distain as this agent informed me that she rarely took self-published authors because (and I'm paraphrasing here) "pretty much everyone can publish nowadays."  The implication?  I could not possibly be a decent writer because I chose the self-publishing route.  She spent the better part of the next 10 minutes essentially trying to met me know in no uncertain terms that success was highly unlikely in my situation (having NEVER seen my book).  This was coupled with a recitation of her credentials and experience, used to justify her opinion of me based on one phone call.  Did I feel bullied?  Honestly, yes.  I felt like I was back in elementary school, being told that I wasn't "cool" enough to hang out with the popular girls.  Interestingly enough, she did give me her address to send a book to her, and three months later I received a voicemail telling me that she was "pleasantly surprised that she loved the book" and wanted a call back.  I felt vindicated, but also saddened, that she had such low expectations of me based on generalizations of self-published authors.Remember, some of the most celebrated people in history were not popular in their time.  Galileo, Gregor Mendel, Henry David Thoreau, Edgar Allen Poe, and Emily Dickinson were just a few whose works were ridiculed or ignored all together during their lives.  Even some of the most successful people now have stories about when they faltered while starting out.  Oprah Winfrey, Stephen King, and JK Rowling, just to name a few, have all talked about how their bullies made them question their worth and their abilities.  Yet, all of these artists went on to create beautiful things and inspire others to follow in their footsteps, and I believe it's because they had someone in their lives who balanced honest criticism with encouragement.Here's the deal.  I'm not looking for world peace, ending hunger, or even an end to bullying.  I am merely asking each one of you reading this to take a moment and put yourself in someone else's shoes.  When you watch, read, or listen to something, take a moment to remember how much courage it took for this person to put themselves out there.  If you have criticism, be polite and respectful about it.  If you want them to be better, then give them advice on how to do so.  Do not tear them down and make fun of them.  If you don't like what they have to offer, don't give them any more attention.  Let others who enjoy their work take over, and move on to something that suits you more.  Think of yourself like your parents did when you brought them your first piece of art as a little kid - did they make fun of your rudimentary drawing skills, or did they shower you with praise and insist on putting it up for all to see?  Humans grow and develop with positive reinforcement, and it works no matter if you're two or seventy two.So, after all of this babbling, what do I want you to remember?  What is the point of this lengthy diatribe?Be respectful, be encouraging, and most of all, be kind.Until next time, luceat lux vestra!

Shhh...come closer.  I'm going to tell you a secret.Are you ready?I...love...television!Cartoons, science fiction, dramedies, crime shows, documentaries, and even the occasional reality show, I spend a great deal of my free time (when not writing, of course) staring at the surface of the talking box.  Ever since my parents first purchased a television set I have been obsessed with television, making sure that I made time to watch all of my favorites as they aired.  It was television that introduced me to the wonders of Star Trek, The X-Files, X-Men, Firefly, Fringe, and so many other fandoms.  These shows helped me unwind from stress, kept me company on lonely nights, and made me laugh when all I could do was cry.  Don't get me wrong - I had great family and friends as well, but in the hour it took to watch one episode of a show allowed me to clear my thoughts and regroup.  For me, reading and watching television were my coping strategies when things got tough, and they never let me down.  Those shows I watched encouraged me to explore my own abilities, to wonder what it was I am capable of.  I wanted to emulate the qualities of my favorite characters, especially the strong female leads I grew up watching.  In fact, when i was a teenager the show ER started airing, and it was partly responsible for my interest in medicine.As time has passed and I have gotten older, one of the trends I have noticed (and am not happy about) is the shift from smart, witty television to shows focused on shock value and sensationalism.  I completely understand that there is a time and place for every type of show, but what frustrates me is observing well-written, well-casted shows suffer at the hands of networks who are more focused on immediate gratification rather than long-term loyalty.  The reality is that with more and more people accessing digital media and being able to stream, record, and watch anything they want, quality shows are being thrown by the wayside in favor of ones that are devoid of value or education.I think the networks do a great disservice to their viewers by assuming that all we want are flashy, overly dramatized shows that require little more than a pair of eyes and a bored mind.  It's a disturbing trend that many great shows have to be "saved" by the fans through online petitions and appeals to other networks or digital companies such as Netflix or Amazon because network executives are chasing that elusive perfect rating storm.  Yes, some networks are catching on and listening to their audiences, but far too often shows come and go because the focus is on the now instead of longevity.Let's take Firefly as a prime example, because I know there are many fellow Browncoats out there who understand me.  The Joss Whedon helmed show had a spectacular cast with immensely talented writers that brought thought-provoking episodes to air every week.  Yes, every one was action-packed, filled with humor, and dabbled with special effects, but that wasn't the reason why I and the rest of the fans watched the show.  It was the characters, the storylines, the lessons you learned about life, friendship, and love which made Firefly so beloved.  It was the fact that Joss did not dumb down the material or water down the realities that his characters faced.  People connected with the way the main characters dealt with loss, fears, and survival and found ways the stories mirrored their own lives.  As a result, of course, the show was cancelled after one season because it didn't meet up to ratings expectations.  Luckily, Browncoats are a fiercely protective and loyal group, and their voices succeeded in reviving the show on the big screen.Another prime and more recent example is the sci-fi show Stitchers on Freeform.  If you haven't watched it (you should!), it follows the lives of a group of young, incredibly intelligent scientists brought together by a secret government agency to "stitch" into dead people and solve crimes.  Along the way, you watch the characters come together to overcome obstacles and deepen the relationships they share with one another.  I came upon the first season by accident, but I was hooked by the end of the first episode.  The cast is diverse, the writing splendidly clever, and the "science" intriguing and engaging.  It is helmed by Jeffrey Schechter, a man with an inquisitive mind and a talent for storytelling.  I looked forward to every episode, and was so disappointed when the second season took so long to air!  As I feared, as the season two finale approached and other shows were receiving news about renewal, Stitchers fans were left wondering about the fate of their favorite show.  Every one of us worried that yet another wonderful show was going to fall through the ratings crack, and we banded together on social media to send a clear message to Freeform.  Despite this, the renewal was not announced until the beginning of October.  Although I am beyond excited to see what happens next, the worry over season four is already looming.I realize there is a very large section of the population that enjoys the other types of shows, and I certainly don't begrudge that as I partake in them as well.  However, I find myself disappointed in the thought that many of the shows I might truly enjoy and fangirl over are likely to be cancelled because they don't engage a large enough population.  Saying that the shows reflect the desires of the audience is just an excuse.  There are so many of us that cry out in support of smart shows, and it's time that our voices are heard.I want shows that inspire us, teach us, and force us to think outside the box.  I want shows that I'm proud to share with family and friends - ones that will engage and stimulate minds.  I want shows that have emotional depth, thoughtful insights, and multi-dimensional characters.  I want shows that doesn't take its audience for granted but rather celebrates intelligence, strength, and resilience.  Most of all, I want shows that remind me of the human potential, because that is the message that we should be sending young people.  Give them exposure to the world through the eyes of great role models, and we grant them the ability to be limitless in their success.Until next time, luceat lux vestra!

When Mulan first came out in 1998, I was just moving into my college years.  I had always been a fan of Disney and their princesses, especially considering that my very first English book was Disney's Cinderella (given to me by my ESL teacher upon my "graduation" from the class).  I still have it to this day, and the inscription she wrote within it inspire me to this day.  As you can imagine, I was unbelievably excited to hear that not only was Disney bringing an Asian young woman to the screen but also one who was courageous, intelligent, and kindhearted.  Up until then all of the media I had been exposed to involved people who looked nothing like me, and whose lives I didn't quite understand because I was an immigrant from Taiwan.  Mulan was not only the first Asian woman who broke through the color barrier but also one of the first to defy the damsel in distress motif that ran throughout typical princess fare.For those of you who aren't familiar with the story, in Disney's version a young woman named Fa Mulan disguises herself as a male heir to her family in order to prevent her ailing father from being drafted into a potential war against invaders.  She grows from precocious teenager to a brave fighter for China, impressing her fellow soldiers with her determination and ingenuity.  When her real identity is discovered, she chooses to follow through with her duty despite anger and discrimination from her peers.  In the end, she honors her family through her courage, and returns to her home a celebrated hero.As a psychiatrist, one of my passions lies in the arena of cultural psychiatry.  Although there are generalities that exist for mental health and illness, issues involving access, disparity, and treatment considerations are different within cultures and ethnicities.  With Asian Americans, often called the "Model Minority," the expectations and pressures are high for Asians to integrate into Western culture and society with minimal difficulties.  It has been proven time and time again to be a myth, and yet we're seen as successful, well-educated, and well-adjusted.  The truth is, Asian Americans are at high risk of mental health issues and yet are one of the groups that are least likely to recognize or seek health due to stigma.Within the Asian American population, there are different subgroups of Asians - Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Vietnamese, Indian, Thai, Burmese, Filipino, and many others.  The percentage of Asian Americans that report poor mental health is over 30%, comparable to that of all other ethnic groups (including white).  Anxiety, depression, substance disorder, and even eating disorders are common among Asian Americans, and suicide is the 9th leading cause of death in this population.  Southeast Asians are the most at risk of developing psychiatric conditions because of the lower education and income levels, as well as the political climate of their home countries.  There is also the stigma of admitting or acknowledging mental illness as more than just a character weakness or family shame.  In fact, most people are surprised to realize that just as many Asian Americans report facing discrimination, racial slurs, and are stereotyped as African Americans (both over 50% in a recent survey).  For those families who are first or second generation immigrants, the issue of acculturation (adapting or merging two or more cultures) comes into play as well.  This often affects the children who grow up feeling torn between two cultures and the duality of expectations placed on them, all while facing the typical developmental challenges of individuation and self-actualization.  Asian American girls in particular are at high risk of developing depression, anxiety, and eating disorders due to the conflicting information from family, peers, and media.What does this have to do with Mulan and the new live-action film Disney is planning?The original animated Mulan highlighted many of the issues of young Asian Americans girls growing up, especially those who were immigrants like me.  Her story symbolically represented the path I had to take to self acceptance, and her struggles mirrored my own.  Both she and I dealt with the traditional expectations of what a woman's role was in Chinese society, with parents who both encouraged independence and intelligence while imposing old fashioned thinking.  I too faced the fear of shaming my family if I were not to live up to the standards that were set for me, and struggled to understand why I was so different from those around me.  While Mulan disguised herself as a man to fit in with the troops, I wore the mask of Western ideals to feel included in my peer group.  Nonetheless, as Mulan struggled with coming to terms with her own identity while trapped between two worlds, I deal with the same in real life.  I was not Asian enough to be the obedient and ultra-feminine girl society expected me to be, but I was not white enough because of my appearance and cultural heritage.  In this young woman I saw myself, and when I watched her triumph over her obstacles to come into her own, I found inspiration to do the same.  These are the reasons why Mulan has been so important to me, and why I am proud to see her being recognized with the other Disney princesses.Asian American girls need the Mulan I grew up with - the strong willed, smart, and courageous young woman who defied tradition and the odds to become one of the most beloved and recognized figures in Chinese history.  They need to see that there is a way to balance the old and the new, respect and independence, and loyalty to self and family.  Asian American boys can learn from the example of Shiang and his men, not only because of their ability to fight for what they believe in and stand up for each other, but also for their willingness to acknowledge Mulan as not just a girl but a friend and fellow warrior.  Mental health professionals can use Mulan as an example to open channels of communication with their patients' parents about the importance of family and tradition, but also provide ideas on how to adapt to life in the U.S. and support the children in healthy development of self-esteem and self-image.In the live-action version of Disney's Mulan we see the enumeration of all the issues when talking about diversity in Hollywood: accurate representation of historical figures, Asian female and male stereotypes, whitewashing of central characters, minimization of cultural heritage, and under-representation of Asians in media.  However, for me it is not just an opportunity to bring diversity to the forefront, but a giant leap forward in giving Asian Americans a way to express their struggles and start the conversation to understanding.Disney, the world is watching.  #MakeMulanRight

We've all been there.  You're busy being uber creative and loving every minute of it when...*smack*Out of nowhere, you're hit by the realities of life.  Sometimes life takes pity on you and just gives you a little shove off the path, but other times, it deems it necessary to throw you off the nearest cliff.Needless to say, no matter how well any of us handle stress and juggle priorities there will come a point where we find ourselves staring at a blank page (or screen, in my  case).  Minutes go by, then hours, then days, and to our horror, WEEKS!*dead faint*Okay, so maybe fainting doesn't really solve any problems, but neither do any of our usual tricks to get around writer's block.  In my instance, normally when I find myself stuck I hang out with friends, watch television or movies, read books, and do some self-care (sleep!  massage!  eat!) for a few days and am back on track.  Unfortunately, as of late I have really struggled to even turn on the computer, much less attempt to put my thoughts on paper.There is a superstition amongst Chinese zodiac followers that goes like this: if you are a specific sign and you are in the year of your sign, it is extremely bad luck for you.  For example, this is the Year of the Monkey, and I, in case you haven't guessed already, am a Monkey.  Although I don't subscribe generally to luck and fortune, I can't say I haven't wondered if everything that has happened this year isn't a result of this supposed trend.  I'm not going to go into details here, but let's just say that everything that could have gone wrong did in every part of my life.  I've dealt with losses, conflicts, and difficulties galore, all while trying to complete Amulet of Morgana and re-editing the other books.I am happy to say that I managed to do it, but it took me all of this year so far just to get to this point.  Along the way, many projects got put aside and I had to narrow my focus more than I liked.  I'm behind on the original timeline for the year, and some things have not fallen into place despite my best efforts.  With only three more months left of this calendar year (but five months of the lunar calendar, which is what the zodiac prediction is based off of), I can expect to encounter more challenges ahead.Having gone through what I did this year, it would be completely understandable if I had chosen to take a break from writing.  It would have made life easier and removed quite a bit off my shoulders.  On top of that, given that I typically produce my best work when I am emotionally and physically healthy, whatever I wrote likely would have been less than stellar.  Still, choosing to remain silent meant I would give up what little gain I had made in the sea of fiction and take the chance I would fade into oblivion while other authors remained productive.In the end, I did what I always tell my own patients to do: prioritize what is most important (and what you have control over) and focus your energy on those first.  I gave myself leeway to switch the order of my list depending on what was most pressing, but kept the ultimate goals in mind.  Writing has always been a stress reliever and way of working through things, and reminding myself of that was greatly helpful.  On the days when everything was going wrong, I made sure that even if I didn't actually write anything down I was brainstorming and jotting down ideas for later.  I redirected some of my efforts towards things like redoing covers and creating new character art.  When the books started calling for me to come back, I made time to sit down and do them justice.  At times, I channeled my own emotions into the plot, transferring them to various people within the story.In the end, I made the conscious choice to continue creating material even in the face of adversity.  Every day that I wrote something was a day that reminded me I was strong - that I was resilient despite what was being thrown at me.  I believe that if you can fight through the pain and the stress, your skill as a writer grows tremendously.  You come to have a fuller understanding of the trials and tribulations of your own characters, and can translate that into words that allow for a genuine connection with your readers.  It is a very scary endeavor to be so willing to open up emotionally, but one that I feel is beyond rewarding in the end.Now, as I take a moment to write this, I am happy to say that there are some very exciting things coming up on the horizon that I can't wait to share with you all.  I really wanted to show just how much I love all of you for sticking with me through this, and for those of you who are new, consider these things welcome gifts!Until next time, lovelies, luceat lux vestra!

I know what you're thinking...no, I didn't fail math in school.So why the strange title?Well, for those of you who are just now joining my readership, the books in The Avalon Relics series have been on quite the journey over the last year or so.  When I originally released the first edition of Lilith Links, the image on the front cover was actually a pair of hands (fun trivia fact - they were my hands) wearing the links.  A couple of months after the release, I ended up scratching the cover because I was getting too many comments that the positioning of the hands made it seem like the subject of the book was religion.  I reached out to a local artist I met at one of the comic conventions I attend to redo the cover as I was a fan of her work.  A few more months after that, I had the cover that most of you recognize now, with the golden color and the Lilith links front and center.When I went about writing the second book in the series, entitled Lailan Crown, I already had it in my mind that this series would be a trilogy.  I had the whole general plot outlined in my mind, and I knew what it would take to get through the story.  As the months passed, I diligently plugged away at page after page of my fantasy world, intent on creating a world lush with beautiful scenery, creatures, and peoples.  I laughed with my characters during times of joy, cried with them during times of sorrow, and resisted the urge to slap them when they made stupid mistakes and impulsive moves.  Once the story reached a natural stopping point, I deemed the book complete and published it.*ahem*ALL 625 PAGES OF IT.Okay, okay, so maybe I hoped no one would notice that Lailan Crown was twice the size of Lilith Links.  Perhaps I wanted to believe that my readers would just accept it as a Happy Potter-esque increase in book size.  There might also be the possibility that I felt the book needed to be that long to tell the story properly.  No matter my original intent or reasoning, I did publish the book as it was, and then I set upon selling both to the masses.It didn't take very long before reality set in with the subtlety of a slap in the face.  Potential reader after reader balked at the sheer size of the second volume, their eyes growing wide with alarm at the weight of the bound book in their hands.  Still, they gave it their best shot, and admittedly came back to let me know they loved it despite the length.  I even had one brave and precocious ten year old girl take it to school and read it during her downtime, earning the stares and disbelief of her peers.  Her fan letter (my first!) to me documented how she didn't care if everyone in her class thought the book was too big to read at her age, and that she loved every moment of it.After months of having to explain my motivation for creating such a behemoth over and over again, I hung my head in defeat.  What was I to do?  The book was already out and my readers had already given their blessing despite initial reservations.  I knew what had to be done, honestly, but I was beyond reluctant.  Lailan Crown needed to be broken up into two books or it would be too intimidating for new readers.  I agonized over it for weeks, wracking my brain to figure out a way to reconcile the creative prerogative of being the author with the desires and needs of my audience.It wasn't until I sat down with my particularly brilliant friend Laura during lunch one day that she suggested a way to split the book that didn't seem like a grave injustice to my artistic integrity.  By the time we parted ways my decision was made.  Within days I began work on the new edits, adding in elements that I had to leave out due to the original length of Lailan Crown to allow for a fairly reasonable place to divide the pages.  It took a while, as I wanted to make sure what I was putting in was not just fluff designed to fill pages.  Finally, I completed the new drafts and prepared them for print.In the meantime, I was also privy to feedback from various readers and those in the publishing world that the current covers were not comparable to those in my genre.  In layman's terms, they weren't eye-catching enough to compete with other titles.  Unfortunately, the adage that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover apparently does not actually literally apply.  People do judge a book by its cover, especially when we're talking about young adults.  So, I eventually reached out to some incredibly talented artists who had already created some character art for me to redo the covers, with the intent of re-releasing all the titles (including the newly split Lailan Crown) once they were done.All right, you say, that explains how one book is now two, but was does "three is five" mean?If you haven't figured it out by now, The Avalon Relics was originally intended to be a trilogy.  However, I knew after completing Lailan Crown that there was enough material left to create a third book that would be at least as long as the second.  This obviously would be an issue, so I preemptively decided I would turn my trilogy into a penology.  The change gave me the freedom to complete the stories of the Fearless Five and the faeids in the way I always imagined it in my mind.So, for clarity's sake, this is what the original series was planned to be:Lilith Links (Book One), Lailan Crown (Book Two), Amulet of Morgana (Book Three)Now, this is how the series will look:Lilith Links (Book One), Origo Key (Book Two), Laila's Crown (Book Three), Amulet of Morgana (Book Four), Electus Prophecy (Book Five)Thank you to all of my readers who have stuck with me during this transition, and I can't wait to share the new covers and art with you!  Keep your eyes peeled in the coming weeks, and don't forget to sign up for my mailing list to be the first to find out about for giveaways and contests!Lucent lux vestra!

*cue Montell Jordan and dancing like it's 1999*(Sorry...I couldn't resist!)As a lifelong reader, one of the unspoken things I wonder about is how an author comes up with the story that they do.  Why did they choose the plot they did, imbue the characters with those traits, or build the world with those constructs?  Above all, how did they make all those elements come together in such a poetic and captivating manner?Now, as the author of my own books, I get asked the very same questions when I do readings and appearances.  How did I come up with the landscapes of the faeid realm?  Did I do any research to create the mythology of the sacred relics?  Why do my characters simultaneously annoy and endear themselves to the readers?  How long does it take for me to come up with a storyline?  Is there some method to writing a story that is the "right" way?This is how I usually answer these questions.  I draw inspiration from the most beautiful and unique natural formations.  No, I do not research in a formal way, although they share themes with a lot of Greek, Roman, and Arthurian myths.  The characters elicit strong emotions because they are multifaceted, just like real people.  The length of time for a storyline varies because of the ever changing layers of plot, even when I have the big picture down.As for the last question, the answer is more complex.  Perhaps not every author out there would agree, but in my case, I wholeheartedly agree with the famed and immensely talented Neil Gaiman.  I don't think there is just one way to write a story; you have to find that little spark which ignites the flames of your creativity.  I know plenty of writers who start with the story, choosing to write the beginning, the middle, or the end first and extrapolating from there.  Other authors are fascinated with constructing the world first, allowing the characters and plot to develop naturally from what they imagine.There is also the group of authors (to which I belong) who focus their energies on developing the main characters as their initial step.  For me, there is a rather simple reason why I start my stories by first creating my characters.  Theirs are the eyes through which you see the world and whose actions drive the plot forward.  It is their mistakes that make you want to scream at the book; their triumphs you celebrate with a silly dance around the room.  A story, no matter how well written, does not engage you if the characters are flat and boring.  We as readers live to connect with the protagonists, secretly root for the antagonists, and fall in love with the underdog.  When you ask about my favorite books, the ones that come to mind are always the ones with distinctive characters.As a psychiatrist, my job is to observe and document the various aspects of human nature, so it's not a stretch to say that it is another big factor in why I choose to begin my process with characters.  I am in awe of how even the smallest experiences can affect your perspective on society and your life choices.  Watching people grow into themselves and the ways in which they go about this task are some of the most interesting parts of being human.  As such, I put a lot of effort into showing the evolution of my protagonists as the plot develops, giving you insight into why they end up where they do.  I want you to laugh when they being silly, cry when they are in pain, and urge them to get back up and keep moving when they fall apart.  To me, this is what keeps me reading.  To me, this is what a great story is all about.So, if I am forced to give you a simple answer to the question of whether or not there is a "right" method to writing, here it is.  No, there is no "right" way to write - there are many "right" ways to write.  Just like there are many ice cream flavors, car brands, clothing lines, and of course, types of books, you have to find the one method that speaks to you.  Forcing yourself to do something just because this famous author or that successful writer does it that way is limiting your creativity.As the lovely coauthor of the Beautiful Creatures series Kami Garcia said to me when I met her at SDCC this year - "write the story that you want to write, not the one you think (someone else) wants."Your story is unique.  Your background and life experiences will color your voice in a way that will distinguish you from the rest of the pack.  Be proud of you, speak your truth, and above all, keep writing!

As I alluded to in my previous post, ever since I came onto the writing scene I have encountered the same assumption over and over again.  Sample scenario:Person: "So what do you do?"Me:       "Well, I'm a psychiatrist, but I also write books."Person:  "Really?  Are they self-help books?"Me:        "Actually, I write fantasy and science fiction books."Person:  "Wow!  That's amazing!  I wouldn't have guessed that.  I would have thought you'd write booksabout psychology or something...you know, because that's what you do."Me:        "..."Truthfully, I don't think any of these people intentionally mean to imply that someone who works within the confines of medicine cannot be creative.  In fact, they seem genuinely excited to hear about my journey to being an author, and often are enthralled at the thought that I manage to find the time to write.  Still, it's a reflection of how often we put ourselves into boxes and relinquish claim over other talents.I started writing as a response to being a voracious reader.  After spending countless hours flipping through book after book, I eventually got to a point where there were no (age appropriate) volumes to peruse.  I don't exactly know what prompted me to write my first story, much less what it was about, but I do remember the defining moment in which my dreams of creating written works were catapulted from my mind into existence.For those of you who have read my author bio, you know the story.  In fourth grade, my nine/ten year old self decided that I wanted to write my favorite teacher a detective story.  It was done on lined paper in pencil, with crudely drawn illustrations and a storyline that makes me cringe when I read it now.  Nonetheless, I proudly presented it to her as a gift, and she graciously accepted it with lots of enthusiasm.A few days later, she called me into the classroom and presented a small printed booklet with a blue cover.  As my eyes landed on the paper, I saw the picture I drew on the cover, along with the title of my story and my name.  I flipped through the interior to find that my words had been painstakingly typed out and formatted to coincide with the art I drew.  On the back, there was my pride and joy, the author bio that I had written so that the book would appear professionally done.I was astounded by her kindness, her ability to see my potential, and her willingness to encourage a little Asian girl to pursue her dreams.  In fact, she announced to me that she was planning on reading it to the class, a decision that mortified me so much I asked to be sent to the library until it was over.  I was still very shy and was worried about being judged, but after a fellow student summoned me back to the classroom, I was met with smiles and applause.Over the years, my traditional Asian parents (yup, had a tiger mom) pushed me to a well-respected, stable career.  As much as they wanted me to be well-rounded, they were of the mentality that if you weren't a natural talent (read: prodigy), there was no reason to waste your time on the arts.  Now, keep in mind that the decision to go into medicine was completely mine, and I remain passionate about caring for others to this day.  Nonetheless, there was a part of me that always held on to the dream of becoming a published author.  I also never forgot my teacher's gesture, and it was the little booklet from years ago that reminded me of my love of writing.  That moment in time would eventually play a great part in propelling me to author The Avalon Relics.I guess what I want to say (through a somewhat roundabout and rambling way) is that sometimes in life you do have to make a hard choice between being a "responsible adult" and living the dream of being creative.  However, just because you cannot focus on your creative side immediately doesn't mean you should forget about it.  I never stopped writing in all the years since that fateful day, even when I was working 80-100 hours a week in medical school.  That gave me the chance to hone my writing style and find my voice as an author.  Even now, I juggle a full work schedule and multiple responsibilities, but I make it a point to steal time to write.In the end, we're all gifted with multiple talents, and if you're passionate about writing, art, music - pursue it!  If you want to keep it to yourself, that's fine.  If you want to shout it from the rooftops, that's fine too.  Just don't buy into the thought that you can't be both academic and creative, be grounded and a dreamer, and juggle career and passion.Be passionate.  Be brave.  Above all, be you!

For those readers who have been with me from the very beginning, you may have noticed a few changes over the last few weeks.  Not only have I updated the website and added this wonderful window into my mind, you know I have revealed that my original second book, Lailan Crown, has been re-edited and split into two separate books, entitled Origo Key and Laila's Crown.  Of course, the most important (I think) change that has come is that I have decided to come out of the (metaphorical) closet.I am Jennifer Yen...hear me roar!  RAWR!!!Okay, maybe not, but it is true that my name has changed.  As many of you already know, the books were published under the name J.L. Clark.  I chose not to include a picture of myself on the back cover, and had no idea these decisions would make such a splash.  So, after seeking advice from seasoned professionals in media and also some soul searching, I opted to do something I never intended on when I started.So why did I chose not to use my real name originally?  Well, technically J.L. Clark IS my real name.  It is my first and middle initials, as well as my married last name.  I selected it because I wanted a little separation from my career as a psychiatrist, as I was concerned about the privacy of my practice and my patients.  I do not use my married name professionally, and found it a little bit fun to consider JL my alter ego - my secret superhero identity if you may.  It provided me the freedom to write without the preconceptions that sometimes comes from my profession.  After all, one of the most common questions after I reveal I am a doctor who writes is whether my books are self-help or nonfiction.  It always seems to surprise people that I write fiction, but that's a topic for another blog post!In addition to it being my pen name, I was surprised how many times I was asked if I chose it because I wanted to obscure my ethnicity.  The completely honest answer is a big resounding NO!  Here's the real story.  I recall reading somewhere that when J.K. Rowling first began writing the Harry Potter series, she tried submitting to publishers under her full name.  She felt that being immediately identifiable as a female author caused her to receive more rejections, and on a hunch submitted under her current name.  Reportedly, her books were then picked up because it was assumed she was male.  Now, I don't know the exact details and how much of this is true, but it certainly stuck in my mind.  As naive as it sounds, at the time I didn't want anything to impede my success as a published author, so I chose to do the same.When you lovely readers started connecting with me on social media and attending book signings and readings, however, I realized how important it was to you that I was representing myself accurately.  You wanted my picture on the back cover, my name to reflect my heritage, and for me to send a clear message that I was proud to be who I am.  You showed me that I could inspire so many more people by not hiding behind my name, no matter my intentions, and show others who are thinking about taking a chance themselves that it can be done.Well, I agreed, so here I am!I am Jennifer Yen, and I am proud to be an Asian American female author of young adult fantasy and science fiction.Now...off to find the perfect picture of me to grace the back cover.That should be easy, right?!*facepalm*

There's been something on my mind for the last few weeks that has been really bothering me.  In fact, despite my original plan to start off my blog with happy or funny posts, this topic just kept coming up in my mind.It was as if the universe wanted me to tell my story, to share my experience with everyone in hopes of saving somebody else from making the same mistake.Yes, I am guilty of "whitewashing."  No, I am not ashamed.Now, before you go off and light any torches, hear me out.  I hope you'll read to the end and understand how I got to this point, and why I am writing about it now.I came to the U.S. just a few months shy of eight, a little Taiwanese girl who didn't speak a lick of English and looked entirely different from everyone else I knew.  In fact, I purposely played dumb for several months after learning the language to avoid being picked on in class.  I moved to a suburb just outside of Chicago for a few months, where the only minority children I remember seeing were in my ESL class.  Within a year we moved to north Texas, where we finally settled in Plano after living in three cities in five years.  Unlike the Plano that exists now, when I attended high school and senior high there, there was little diversity in the district.  It was overwhelming Caucasian, with a smattering of Hispanic, African American, and Asian thrown into the mix.  In fact, the only time you saw most of the Asian students in one room was during orchestra rehearsal (I bucked the system and was in band).As I grew up, most of my friends were white.  All the books I read, both required and recreational, had white characters in it.  Most of the television and movies I watched had white leads.  For a girl who learned to speak perfect English, excelled in her classes, wore the same clothes, listened to the same music, and crushed on the same celebrities, I never felt different.  I was also lucky enough that those around me for the most part were accepting and kind, and I rarely encountered any overt racism growing up.  Still, when all my friends started dating and I was the odd woman out, I realized it was in part because I looked different than the guys I was interested in.  I started fantasizing about what it would be like to have blue eyes and to be fair skinned, and wrote stories where I took the place of a white character.  It all seemed so innocent at the time - just the reflections of an insecure girl.College and medical school followed, and I came to accept my ethnicity and culture as a strength and something to celebrate.  Young men were more worldly by then, and I dated across all ethnic lines.  My childhood fantasies of looking different faded away, tucked in my mind as a distant memory.  It wasn't until I got the idea to write Lilith Links, the first book of The Avalon Relics, that I would once again be confronted by my upbringing.  Shortly after it was published, one of the young women who read my book asked why I only had white characters in the story.WHAT??I have to admit, I was completely taken off guard.  I had honestly never thought about how I visualized my characters.  I was so focused on creating fully fleshed out people with realistic emotions and personalities, yet never once considered making them any other ethnicity.  Her question caused me to really sit down and think about what had happened.  I knew in my heart it was never a purposeful gesture.  Of course I thought I could have lead characters of color, and some of my favorite shows and movies showcased them.However, I realized that I was a prime example of what happens when there is whitewashing in the media.  I had been so inundated with images and stories of white characters that when it came time to create my own, it was the instinctual choice to do the same.  Obviously, I felt shame and disappointment at that revelation, feeling like I let down myself and all my readers.  Still, I knew that I had to own up to my own actions and acknowledge how I accidentally contributed a personal version of whitewashing.  In a situation where I could have given my characters depth and richness of color, I chose to make them white.After some introspection, I decided I would use this as a learning experience and a way to teach others of the impact of whitewashing.  I am choosing to be vocal about diversity in media, and am starting up a non-profit organization dedicated to providing mentorship and support programs for children of diverse backgrounds.  I am going to be part of the solution, because whether or not I intended to do so, I was part of the problem.As for my characters, they are my literary children, and I love them unconditionally.  Changing the color of their skin now for the sake of doing does not hold true to the message I want to send.  Their stories are meant to teach acceptance and empowerment, and I know they mean a lot to my readers and myself just as they are.Of course, there's always room on the bookshelf for more diverse characters and new worlds, and I certainly won't be holding back now.  I can't wait for you to see what I've got in the works!

Why hello there, lovely reader!  Welcome to the world of the Geek MD (that's me)!This will be a place of sophistication, refinement, class...Oh, who am I kidding?!This blog will be a place where I will pontificate on all things that interest me: books, comics, tv shows, movies, headlines, and whatever else strikes my fancy.  You'll get a peek into my mind (whether you like it or not), hopefully have a little laugh, and leave having contemplated the meaning of life.I already have some topics lined up for the next few posts, and I am really looking forward to getting to know all of my readers!If you enjoy this blog and have not had the pleasure of becoming a fan of The Avalon Relics, my young adult fantasy series, you should check it out!  It's got magic, romance, beautiful people, and lessons you'll cherish for the rest of your life.  How could you resist?!