Georgia Shaffer's Blog

Gardeners call compost “black gold” because when they add it to garden soil, the plantings become more vibrant than those grown in regular soil. Similarly, compost in our lives is the rich fertile soil that results when we process grief and loss in healthy ways.

When handled properly, our losses slowly break down and are transformed into wonderful nutrients that promote new growth. Out of our time of pain, beauty arises from the ashes.

Sorrows provide the substance for our emotional and spiritu...

When I meet with and coach women as they try to navigate the emotions of their poor choices, they often say, “I can’t forgive myself.”

They tell me that they can forgive others but can’t forgive themselves for the things they’ve done. They seem to feel better when they punish themselves in some way by holding on to shame and regret. It somehow eases their conscience to berate themselves and make themselves pay for what they did.

As Christians, that’s common for all of us. We sometimes find it d...

We often expect forgiveness to be easy or instantaneous. It’s not. The process of forgiveness entails choices we must make again and again.

Perhaps you feel you’ve honestly tried to let go and forgive, but as soon as you see the person you get upset again and all the bitterness returns. You’re not alone.

I understand that it feels discouraging to realize we’re still holding on to pain and resentment. We start to believe we need more faith, or that we simply don’t have what it takes to forgive...

It feels impossible to forgive others while we’re angry.

Christie recently broke up with her fiancé, and she had lots to be angry about. For starters, her fiancé and someone Christie thought was a dear friend had been sexually involved for months.

Anger is a common emotion that keeps reappearing during a time of loss and grief, especially after the initial shock and numbness are gone. As long as Christie is grieving, she is wise to address those feelings.

Short-term anger can be a healthy respo...

During World War II, Corrie ten Boom and her sister, Betsie, were sent to a concentration camp in Germany. They were arrested for hiding Jews in their home who had been targeted for death by the Nazis. Betsie died in the camp. Years later Corrie wrote about the benefits of forgiveness she witnessed in Holocaust survivors.

In her book, Tramp for the Lord, Corrie said, “Those who were able to forgive their former enemies were able also to return to the outside world and rebuild their lives, no ma...

You don’t have to forgive. But if you want to obey God, Scripture is quite clear on the issue of choosing forgiveness.

Jesus says that when choosing forgiveness, we will be forgiven. Then he said, “But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (verse 15). What possible good can come to us if we knowingly disobey God? Just like a child who willfully defies a parent, our lack of forgiveness comes with consequences, the most critical of which is that we won’t be...

You don’t have to forgive. But if you want to obey God, Scripture is quite clear on the issue of choosing forgiveness.

In the sixth chapter of Matthew, Jesus says that when we forgive others, we will be forgiven. Then he said, “But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (verse 15). What possible good can come to us if we knowingly disobey God? Just like a child who willfully defies a parent, our lack of forgiveness comes with consequences, the most critica...

How many times have you heard – or said yourself – the following phrase?

“I don’t have any right to be upset about this. So-and-so has it so much worse than I do!”

Comparisons get us every time. Last year, I published a blog post about the compare-and-despair trap we often fall into when we want what someone else has. But, that comparison trap also applies when we feel guilty for feeling bad because our pain is “less than” someone else’s pain.

Let’s dive into this topic a bit more in this week’...

No matter how hard we work to redirect our anger in positive ways, there will always be times when we “lose it” and behave inappropriately. When this happens (and more importantly, before it happens), I find that it helps to have a collection of Scriptures to reflect and meditate on. Below I share eight Bible Verses on anger. On many occasions, they’ve helped me redirect my anger and handle it in healthy ways.

Once a close friend commented on something I said and assumed the worst about me. I w...

At times in my life, I experienced situations when I felt stuck in my anger and struggled to gain control over it. I learned that the longer we hold on to anger, the harder it can be to let go. Using journaling as therapy can help overcome toxic anger and redirect it into something positive.

When you have lost your temper and allowed it to rule you, you might find it helpful to write about how you were feeling and what you were thinking about before the incident as best as you can remember. T...