D.L. Dotstry's Blog
August 3, 2017
Inside The Mind of a Mad Man: The Makings of The Darkest Hour
I get a lot of questions about The Darkest Hour, mainly why did I decide to choose a topic so heavy and taboo to most. Some have even admitted to not being able to finish the book because it was simply “too dark” for them. (To me that’s kind of a compliment. Kinda.)
Short Answer: I wanted to write a book about what weighs on the mind of a typical black in America trying to navigate his was through life. It’s not pretty. How could it be? “No fairy-tales for this young black male.” -Tupac.
Most of us deal with depression, PTSD, and a whole list of generational trauma passed down from centuries of emotional, physical/sexual, mental and spiritual abuse. Over 400 years worth. It has shaped the way we view the world, the way we view ourselves.
When I began writing the book, I was going through my own quarter life crisis. I had just about given up on this place when I decided to write a book about some of the things I was going through at the time. The pain for me at the time had become so unbearable, I was about 52% close to saying, “You know what? Fuck this life, I’m ready to see what’s next.” I found myself crying on my bathroom floor when I got an idea, “what if I wrote a book that read like a suicide letter?” I essentially planned it to be my stylized suicide note but after a breakthrough, I decided the best way to heal is to simply tell my story.
I began talking with people who were suicidal and some of their stories were breath-taking. To see how people could still put on a smile after some of the things they had been through gave me courage. It’s crazy how you could never tell just how rough someone’s life has been just by simply looking at them. I noticed a lot of our stories were similar; different people, but eerily identical situations. We all bonded in the fact that we have witnessed and experienced horribly traumatizing events, most of them a lot of us blocked out, but the memories somehow found a way to re-haunt us. All of us battling with our personal demons but still found enough strength to shield our pain so not to burden others. Our strength is amazing.
I decided to take some of their stories and rearrange the people and situations, combine them with my own life experiences and put them into one protagonist. So in other words,
“This may not be my true story but this is still... a true story.’’ -Don Trip.
Short Answer: I wanted to write a book about what weighs on the mind of a typical black in America trying to navigate his was through life. It’s not pretty. How could it be? “No fairy-tales for this young black male.” -Tupac.
Most of us deal with depression, PTSD, and a whole list of generational trauma passed down from centuries of emotional, physical/sexual, mental and spiritual abuse. Over 400 years worth. It has shaped the way we view the world, the way we view ourselves.
When I began writing the book, I was going through my own quarter life crisis. I had just about given up on this place when I decided to write a book about some of the things I was going through at the time. The pain for me at the time had become so unbearable, I was about 52% close to saying, “You know what? Fuck this life, I’m ready to see what’s next.” I found myself crying on my bathroom floor when I got an idea, “what if I wrote a book that read like a suicide letter?” I essentially planned it to be my stylized suicide note but after a breakthrough, I decided the best way to heal is to simply tell my story.
I began talking with people who were suicidal and some of their stories were breath-taking. To see how people could still put on a smile after some of the things they had been through gave me courage. It’s crazy how you could never tell just how rough someone’s life has been just by simply looking at them. I noticed a lot of our stories were similar; different people, but eerily identical situations. We all bonded in the fact that we have witnessed and experienced horribly traumatizing events, most of them a lot of us blocked out, but the memories somehow found a way to re-haunt us. All of us battling with our personal demons but still found enough strength to shield our pain so not to burden others. Our strength is amazing.
I decided to take some of their stories and rearrange the people and situations, combine them with my own life experiences and put them into one protagonist. So in other words,
“This may not be my true story but this is still... a true story.’’ -Don Trip.
