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Gill Sims
Born
The United Kingdom
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Swear Free Version Of Advice For New Parents
Several people have asked recently what advice Mummy would give to new, or newish parents. Obviously the most terrifying thing about this is that there are people out there who are under the impression that Mummy knows anything at all about parenting, and is in some way a responsible adulting type of person. Mummy can hear the derisive laughter from pretty much everyone she knows at this notion.
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More books by Gill Sims…
“His mother informed us that she had assumed his wife would be buying his advent calendars for him, now he was married, which came as something of a surprise to me, as I did not remember anything in our wedding vows about ‘To Be Your Bloody Mother From This Day Forth …’ I bought him a calendar the next year as a joke, but he didn’t seem to realise the joke part, going so far as to tell me that for future reference, he actually preferred a Thornton’s calendar to a Dairy Milk one, but he appreciated the thought. And so I continue to buy my forty-year-old husband an advent calendar every year, because apparently I am his mum now, and he is a spoilt child.”
― Why Mummy Drinks
― Why Mummy Drinks
“In the end, I suppose that's what a marriage comes down to: finding the one special person you want to annoy and be annoyed by for the rest of your life.”
― Why Mummy Swears
― Why Mummy Swears
“Rapunzel would have saved herself a whole lot of grief if she’d tied one end of her plait to the bed and abseiled out of that window down her own sodding hair, then given herself an adorable pixie cut at the bottom, punched the witch in the tits, told her parents to get to fuck for selling her for a CABBAGE, and gone off and kicked some arse in the world.”
― Why Mummy’s Sloshed
― Why Mummy’s Sloshed
Topics Mentioning This Author
| topics | posts | views | last activity | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Badass Reading Ch...: Emotions | 45 | 31 | Oct 07, 2017 03:27PM | |
| The Challenge Fac...: Cities of the World - Dubai | 17 | 33 | May 04, 2018 01:42PM | |
| The Challenge Fac...: I'll Drink to That! - milk | 31 | 56 | May 04, 2018 01:52PM | |
| The Lost Challenges: April Clean It Out | 59 | 47 | May 05, 2018 04:12AM | |
| The Lost Challenges: April Monthly - Giraffe | 64 | 69 | May 05, 2018 06:21AM | |
| The Lost Challenges: April Judge A Book | 34 | 41 | May 06, 2018 08:20AM | |
The Seasonal Read...:
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2194 | 413 | May 31, 2018 09:01PM | |
| The Challenge Fac...: BOOK it to the finish line! - April 2018 | 15 | 40 | Jul 17, 2018 07:46PM | |
| Books & Coffee Bo...: A to Z Titles Challenge 2018 | 27 | 72 | Sep 27, 2018 01:41PM |
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