Leah Weiss's Blog
October 19, 2020
A Grandmother’s Heart with Roshi Joan Halifax
A grandmother’s heart is not sappy. It is strong and has perspective. We spoke with Roshi Joan about the moral suffering that doctors, nurses and clinicians are feeling in 2020. She reminds us that contemplative practice allows us to bear witness, but NOT to bypass or “zen out” from our moral challenges.
Tune in: Apple Podcasts
More from Roshi Joan:
https://www.facebook.com/joan.halifax
https://www.instagram.com/joanhalifax/
https://www.facebook.com/upaya/
October 14, 2020
The Doctors Sloan
The Drs. Sloan are a power couple in Houston, Texas. Dr. Sonja Sloan is an orthopaedic surgeon, author and pillar of her community. Dr. Timothy Sloan is the pastor of The Luke Church, with a congregation of greater than 5000 people. He is also an author and an activist. We spent time with them the day after the Brianna Taylor ruling.
Tune in here:
More from Dr. Sonja Sloan, MD:
Websites:
https://sonyasloanmd.com/about/
Social:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SonyaSloanMD
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/iamSonyaSloanMD/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sonyasloanmd/
More from Dr. Timothy Sloan:
Websites:
https://timothywsloan.com/about/
Social:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/timothysloan
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/timothywsloan
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timothysloan/
October 5, 2020
An Unexpected Gratitude Practice with Joel Stein
We caught up with our friend, Joel Stein, with his expected brilliance, humor and humility. We were prepared for so much from him… but we were caught off guard when we uncovered the fact THE JOEL STEIN is fostering a daily gratitude practice.
His latest book, In Defense of Elitism, keeps disappearing from our homes because people are loving it that much.
Tune in here:
More from Joel:
Website: www.thejoelstein.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/thejoelstein
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thejoelstein
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thejoelstein/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joel-stein-90236/
November 29, 2018
How to Be a Compassionate Leader Without Being a Doormat
When you think “compassion,” it can be easy to flash on a passive if powerful emotion for someone else that might overwhelm your own feelings or needs and even drain your resolve. But in fact, you may be confusing compassion with something else.
Compassion and Empathy–Not the Same Thing
Jeff Weiner, CEO of LinkedIn, who has promoted compassion in his company, emphasizes the difference between the two: compassion is more about understanding and acknowledging what another person is experiencing and then following through with action, while empathy is more about sharing and absorbing those exact feelings. If, for example, you encounter someone in pain, empathizing will result in feeling that pain yourself, while compassion will spur you to try to alleviate the pain for that person.
Neuroscience researchers at the Max Planck Institute in Berlin confirm this: The brain itself experiences empathy and compassion differently, and incorporating too much suffering of others leads to emotional burnout, while compassion can actually increase our resilience and approach stressful situations with a more positive outcome.
How Compassion Makes You Stronger
Promotes Action. By prompting us to act to resolve problems, not just sit with them or evade them, compassion helps us assume a kind of control. Avoiding uncomfortable or embarrassing situations or letting questionable behavior slide can lead to passivity. But when we’re in action, we’re not liable to be walked over; we’re taking charge.
Sparks Understanding. By considering another person’s point of view as valid, we can begin to recast an issue in a different light, even as it conflicts with our own perspective. Having the courage and willingness to practice this, especially when we’d rather not, entails mastery and strength and power–the opposite of being a doormat.
Fosters Connection. Cultivating and practicing compassion helps curb judgment and encourages connection–which in turn creates a more level field, a commonality and equality.
Cultivates Leadership. Compassion doesn’t mean that when someone messes up, we ignore the mistake, avoid confronting or dealing with it, or hope it goes away–nor does it mean we get angry or assume the behavior is a character flaw. Instead, true compassion will lead us to try to understand the root of the failure or problem: what was going on, what was he thinking, what led to this outcome? This inquiry–even as it allows room to also acknowledge our own frustration and irritation–will not only demonstrate leadership but can also exemplify compassion at its head-on best.
What Acting Effectively with Compassion Looks Like
It can mean merely asking a co-worker how he’s doing. Or offering help to a teammate struggling with too much on his plate. But it can also mean letting a teammate know that, say, her communicating style is alienating co-workers, or that not meeting deadlines repeatedly affects the whole group, and not just her. Compassion means having enough respect to calmly confront someone on what they may not be aware of or won’t cop to themselves, of encouraging them to be a better, more effective, and more accountable version of themselves.
Can this be awkward? Very possibly. But if you approach it without judgment or criticism but with true curiosity and an authentic desire to understand the back story, communication channels will open, you’ll be operating from a position of strength, and most important, you’ll have a better chance of not just resolving the immediate problem but similar mistakes to come.
By treating others with dignity and respect, you reinforce your own dignity, garner respect from others, and create a more productive environment in which effective work can be done.
November 7, 2018
4 ways workaholics can chill out now
Nov. 7 is Stress Awareness Day, and to mark the occasion, Know Your Value spoke to stress management experts for realistic, effective tips for workaholics.
By Julianne Pepitone
American workers have a lot to grapple with: They put in long hours at the office, only for their phones to buzz with emails all evening at home. And they’re often asked to take on more and more responsibility as companies try to keep their staffs lean.
We’re becoming a nation of workaholics, and the stress is affecting us both at the office and at home. A 2018 survey found 44 percent of respondents lose sleep over work-related stress. And 61 percent of Americans cite work as a somewhat or significant source of stress, according to the American Psychological Association’s annual stress study.
Nov. 7 is Stress Awareness Day, and to mark the occasion, Know Your Value spoke to stress management experts for realistic, effective tips for workaholics. Here’s what we learned:
1. recognize and flip the natural tendency to focus on the negative.
For workaholics in particular, it’s easy for everything to feel like a crisis: “If I don’t get this done today my boss will think I’m a flake!” or “I have to knock this presentation out of the park or I’ll get fired!” While some projects in our career might indeed be truly make-or-break, those are generally few and far between. Yet we may see even standard work challenges as emergencies — because our brains are equipped to do so.
“Nature equipped us with a negativity bias, so we’re likely to overestimate threats and underestimate our capability to handle them. That’s true of all of us, but for workaholics the feeling of threat is magnified,” said Bryan Robinson, Ph.D., a North Carolina-based psychotherapist and author of the book “Chained to the Desk: A Guidebook for Workaholics.”
But we can flip that balance, Robinson said, in part by understanding that Mother Nature gave us the negativity bias for a good evolutionary reason: It made us likely to run and protect ourselves from threats.
“These days the threat is a slideshow presentation, not a lion, but the negativity bias remains the same,” Robinson added. “When you understand what your brain is doing, you can slow it down and reverse the bias. Taking a moment to put things in perspective, recognizing this deadline isn’t a major crisis and that we’ve met these challenges in the past with our hard work, can make all the difference.”
2. be clear in your purpose and priorities.
“To me this is the No. 1 thing, based on research in biological health as well as management,” said Leah Weiss, Ph.D., who teaches leadership courses at the Stanford Graduate School of Business and wrote the book “How We Work: Live Your Purpose, Reclaim Your Sanity, and Embrace the Daily Grind.”
Weiss added, “If you can ask and answer the question, ‘What is my purpose, and what’s the most important thing in this moment to serve that purpose?’ then you have your place to start.”
This might sound a bit obvious, Weiss acknowledged, but “you have to remember that when we’re in stress mode we are not thinking clearly. We often have so many things on the to-do list that we can’t think straight and we self-soothe by crossing off easier things on the list instead of getting the important things done.”
If you find that you’re struggling to understand your purpose within your company’s broader mission, or are routinely bogged down with tasks and aren’t clear on what to prioritize, Weiss suggested scheduling a chat with a supervisor to get feedback. Otherwise, this ongoing confusion will likely cause ongoing stress.
3. take five minutes, close your eyes and focus on the sounds you hear.
When you’re in the moment, however, all that clarity may momentarily dissipate. Stress “constricts the mind as well as the body,” Robinson said, explaining that as we start to feel anxious we may experience physical effects like increased heart rate and more rapid, shallow breathing.
This cycle can easily perpetuate itself, but you can just as easily stop it from happening. Set a timer on your phone for five minutes, step away from your desk and close your eyes. Focus on anything in the present moment: your breath; the sensations you feel, like your hand on your chair or your clothing on your body; or any ambient sounds such as an air conditioner or traffic in the distance.
“Many people feel intimidated by meditation, but this is all it is: focus,” said Robinson, who covers this topic at length in his new book “#Chill,” which will be published in December. “And you don’t need to do it for 20 minutes every morning – even though that’s great if you can. Even just five minutes at your desk can start to lower blood pressure and clear the mind, stopping the cycle of negativity and giving you renewed focus on what you need to do.”
4. if work is bleeding into home life, set boundaries – but ensure they’re realistic and flexible when needed.
It would be nice to decide we will never, ever take work home with us. But with email and smartphones, that isn’t possible for most folks — especially workaholics. The key is not to let responding to one emergency email turn into hours of non-emergency work, or for one truly busy week to set a precedent.
“It’s all about planning with intention: ‘This week I have extra work that needs to be done, so I will work for 60 minutes every night after the kids go to bed,’” Weiss said. “I set a timer so I don’t wander into other tasks, and then the following week I ensure I engage in self-care and reconnect with my family.”
Also, consider setting up an after-hours work structure that you can bend when you really need to. For example, telling yourself, “I don’t answer emails after 8 p.m. unless it’s a bona fide emergency” cuts out the unnecessary post-work work while being realistic about urgent matters that may crop up occasionally.
Overall, the experts agreed, it’s paramount that we learn to recognize stress and appreciate it for its protective qualities, without letting it take over.
“Demonizing stress is a bad idea, because our reaction to it is what hijacks our cognitive resources,” Weiss said. “When we can appreciate stress as a reality and recognize it as it’s happening, that’s when we can step back, calm down and begin again.”
