Jamie M. Sorenson

Dear Past Me,
I'm writing you this letter to say, “I’m sorry that your heart is hurting right now and that you’re lonely; know you are so loved. I loved you then, but I love you so much more now, and take better care of you. I especially protect and guard your heart, and we don’t suffer unnecessarily as much as we used to.
You’re meant to live a big life, and trust me, we live an extraordinary life, so much more than you could have ever envisioned. But, to live a big extraordinary life requires growth, and we grow in our pain. So, what I need to let you know is you’re going to go through incredible pain that you could have never predicted. This pain will change us and cause us to grow becoming the person we are today. Our priorities and goals will change in ways you could have never imagined. You will have to let go of dreams and desires you had your entire life, but they will eventually be replaced with more than what you could have ever dreamed or desired. Knowing that you’re creating a legacy of making changes for the better in the world and touching others on a global level will be one of your greatest joys.
It’s important that you have a premonition something bad is going to happen so that it won’t break you. You will soon face incredible pain. In the depths of your pain, your friends, who you thought would love and support you, will betray you in ways you could never imagine showing you how astonishingly selfish they are, adding to your pain when you’re already so broken. They will invalidate your suffering and make you feel like you’re weak and crazy. You will be in such a low place when this betrayal happens that to survive you will have to eliminate these “friends” from your life. All of that is God’s plan; he had to do a clearing in your life you were not willing to do on your own. You thought because you had been friends and soul sisters, shared years of history, laughs, heartbreaks, struggles, and so much fun that they were meant to be in your life. The truth is they were holding you back and draining your energy. The relationships were always imbalanced, you always gave more, and your cup wasn’t being filled. You will be amazed at the friends who step in and will love and support you when you are at your rock-bottom.
You needed to suffer to develop a compassion for yourself so that you would stop allowing yourself to be used. You have always cared deeply for others, but the pain you will face will deepen your character and expand your ability to be even more compassionate.
Encouragement and support from those who want the best for you will help propel you to the next level again and again; levels where your passion for helping others have profound impacts around the world, not just with your patients. You will be even more outspoken and supportive of others but from a much bigger platform. You will reach people you will never meet. Your destiny is to leave your mark on this world.
In the process of becoming the amazing woman we are today, you will have to develop a confidence and strength in yourself you didn’t know was lacking; rising above the pain when you feel so weak and helpless is where your strength will come from. You will learn to relate to and feel for people and circumstances in their rock-bottom that you never could have if you hadn’t been there yourself. The suffering you will go through is what causes you to develop a kindness that people recognize and are drawn to.
Doubt and discouragement are your Achilles’ heel. Many times, you will give up your joy for anxiety and stress trying to force something to happen that was never meant to be. You will continue to struggle, but your faith is stronger than any doubt and discouragement. You will learn there’s a time and place for vulnerability, especially when it comes to romance.
You’re probably wondering why I have not brought up romance yet as that is what you spend so much of your time obsessing over. The amount of time and energy you’re wasting is actually quite annoying. When you’re at rock-bottom, you will have no choice but to take care of and love yourself completely if you’re going to rise again. By that, I mean COMPLETELY. You will only allow the light in, and this becomes true for all areas of your life. When you come out of this prolonged season of testing, suffering, and character development, you will know you can only be with a man who is the same caliber as you. Someone you’re going to grow with and bring out the best in each other supporting each other’s dreams, goals, and autonomy. You will be partners on every level. Don’t worry; you will have incredible chemistry and attraction, and you don’t have to sacrifice that. I know sometimes you think if you get a man with heart and character, you will not be attracted to him. Don’t worry; he’s very hot. You have to be with a man of excellence, someone you’re proud to be with, or it will not work. You’re not meant to share your life with this man when you’re young as you both have to have your own journey of self-discovery. Neither one of you would become the person you are meant to be if you didn’t walk alone, make mistakes, and grow from those mistakes.
I would love to tell you to stop this crazy dating and wasting your time with all of the wrong men and focus on how amazing life is. I would love to tell you to put that energy into something productive, but to change one thing is to change everything, and we don’t want that. So, go ahead and keep making mistakes; I understand we are designed to need a companion. Have compassion for yourself, hit rock-bottom, fall down, and get back up again and again. Have faith that everything will work out better than you can conceive. Remember you’re so loved!
Love,
Future Me

From-Single, Pitiful and Unlovable...Yeah Right! By Jamie M. Sorenson