Riley Rawls's Blog

So yes, I’m a part of this blog tour because I adore Regal Hearts by Livy Jarmusch. But I also love paperbacks over ebooks, so obviously the release of seasons one and two is pretty exciting. I’ll be reviewing season 2 today. And just look at this gorgeous cover. . .

Annnnd, we’ll just jump straight into the review!

I’m gonna cut to the chase and say this: I LOVVVVVEEEEE REGAL HEARTS. The characters. The plot. The relationships. The better-in-books boys. It’s clean. It’s got beautiful themes woven in, as these four girls are forced to trust God when everything around them is going insane (and like, woooow, I mean insane- insanely awesome though…you get me? mhk)

THE CHARACTERS.

Oh my goodness, I’ve been asked several times whether I liked Regal Hearts or The Tales of Tarsurella. If you know anything about either of these, you know there are a LOT of characters. I think what won me over in the end was the relatability of the characters in Regal Hearts. Emma, Aurora, Lena- all of these girls made me feel like I was in the story with them, living it alongside them. Their situation, finding out that they’re the children of royalty, may have been larger than my life, but they never felt so far from where I am personally. And on top of the relatability, they were just so well written and developed. Season 2 made me fall so in love with these characters. My favorites will always be Emma, Arden, and Eleanor; but I grew to love Elizabeth, Lena, and even Aurora more in this season. And Logan! And Jack! *ahem* I can think of only one character I didn’t like…we won’t mention names… *cough* Peter… Also, WE GOT TO TARSURELLA CHARACTERS???!!!! WHAT?! That brings me to my next point…

THE PLOT.

Regal Hearts just wasn’t great enough already, huh? Well, now we’ve got these two amazing worlds combined!! And I loved it. And it got heeeeaaated in this season. I’m dying to read season three. Those cliffhangers will kill a person! I’ve never read anything like this world Livy has formed- this world where, four girls, children of royalty, must come together to save their country from some crazy dude who-

ahahahaha, yeah, go read it for yourself!

But I love the storyline. It’s intriguing, it kept me picking up the next episode the moment I could get my hands on it, and I feel like it’s something new that I haven’t read about before.

OTHER THOUGHTS.

It’s well written, but it’s simple and easy to read. I love the “episodic” format- it makes each one fun, you don’t get bored as easily, and then there’s ALWAYS A CLIFFHANGER TO PREPARE YOU FOR THE NEXT EPISODE. I’m dying for season three over here, ok??

Also, THE ROMANCE. I’m not big on romance all the time. But the relationships in this season are just TOO. CUTE. Oh, I’m sorry, the friendships… Relationships is stretching it a bit, I guess.

So, apparently it’s my two year blogging anniversary? *throws confetti* I’ll be honest, though. It’s been more like one and a half years because of my inconsistent posting schedule lately. I’ll come back to that. ;P

But thanks to ALL OF YOU LOVELY PEOPLE, who have followed my blog, encouraged me with your sweet messages & kind words, and supported me through the past two years. It truly has been amazing, and I wish I could just hug all of you!

Skipping over all the blogging stats and such, here are some of my favorite blogging things from this past year.

P o s t s.

{PASSION} To the Inexperienced Writer

{IDENTITY} It’s Not About You

{STAND OUT} Use Your Gift for God

{BEAUTY} The World’s Lie & The True Meaning

M o m e n t s.

• Hearing that my words have encouraged or impacted you guys is one of my favorite things EVER. Your comments have made me smile so big! (Typical, but totally legit!)

• Finally piecing together the words that have been on my heart, and working them into a readable post that inspires me.

• Making updates to my blog that make me more confident in it and motivate me to keep creating content & work hard at what I do.

b l o g g i n g j o u r n e y & f u t u r e

Blogging has changed me so much over the past two years, and I feel that I’ve learned a lot about myself and about life because of it. It’s crazy to think back on me asking my mom if I could start a blog, having no idea what I would do with it- just that I would be sharing my writing journey. I can’t imagine not having entered this realm now.

But it hasn’t always been easy. Back to my inconsistency in posting lately. . .

At the beginning of last year, I “re-launched” my blog, excited for the new content I would be sharing. But then summer came, and I was gone almost THE WHOLE THREE MONTHS. Busy the rest. My inconsistency started here.

Then my senior year started. I know there are a lot of you guys who were in that same boat, trying to balance blogging with school, extra activities, and just daily life.

I got burdened down by the idea of having to have a post up, even every other week as had been my plan going into the school year. It just didn’t happen. I started running out of content ideas. Considering quitting blogging, if I’m honest.

But with the new year, I tweaked my blog once again, really searching for what my brand was. What my blog was about. What would ignite my passion for it & keep me motivated to create content.

I’m pleased to say I’ve found what I feel like is my thing here in the blogging world. And if you want to check out my recently updated about page, you’ll see more about the content I plan to post here.

HOWEVER. . .

My blogging future will probably be a bit different than it has been in the past. I’m happy to have found content ideas & a theme that I am passionate about. But I will be posting only every other Saturday (you’ve probably noticed this) for the foreseeable future. And forewarning: I will likely be on a summer long hiatus due to my recent job offer for a Christian summer camp. This will give me a good break, and time to brainstorm & prepare content for the fall semester, which I am super excited about.

But if you didn’t know, in addition to blogging, I have also started a YouTube channel! HOORAY! I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time. This channel will basically be an extension of my blog, but with more practical videos. Whereas here on my blog, I’ll be sharing more heart to heart.

You can either check out my about page OR watch my first YouTube video to find out more about my new theme & the content I’ll be sharing. I’m super excited about this, and I can’t wait to see what God has planned for the future of this blog & YouTube.

Thank you guys so much for your support!

Let’s Talk!

Do you blog? How long have you been blogging?? Why do you blog? And how have you guys been lately, because I feel like I haven’t been around much on here!

A while back, I touched on this topic in a social media post, but I wanted to expand on the idea. So, today, I’m going to be talking about this question:

What is beauty.

Well, here are a couple of definitions I found on the internet.

beauty

noun

1. A combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight. [Wikipedia]

1. The quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit. [Merriam Webster]

Beauty is a big deal in our culture today, and the definition of it is obvious. We see it displayed on the cover of magazines, in so many social media posts, and in the masks of make up we wear.

All over the world, people try to measure up to this standard of beauty that the world has set. Whether through weight loss, layers of make up, surgery… Everyone wants to be beautiful. Why?

Have you ever rubbed shoulders with someone, your brain went into autopilot, and you dubbed them as “plain” or “ugly”?

You probably didn’t think twice about it. I know I’ve done it.

It’s because we have this false idea of beauty in our minds. It’s become our natural way of thinking.

We all want to be beautiful because the world has told us that its definition of beauty gives us value and worth. But this mindset is damaging. Here’s why.

It causes us to take drastic measures to meet this standard of “beauty.”
It makes us think negatively about ourselves.
It makes us forget who we truly are.
It places our focus on ourselves, and not where it should truly be.

I know that for me personally, when I picture myself in terms of the world’s idea of beauty, I beat myself up every time because I know I’ll never measure up. And if “beauty” is truly so valued, where does that place me? Will I ever have any worth to anyone? Will anyone ever love or care about me?

If I’m not beautiful, do I even matter?

Here are some thoughts I had, which were truly mind blowing for me.

In Bible study a while back, we were talking about how God made us exactly the way He wanted us to be.

Psalm 139:13-16 // For You formed my inward parts;

You covered me in my mother’s womb.

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Marvelous are Your works,

And that my soul knows very well.

My frame was not hidden from You,

When I was made in secret,

And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.

And in Your book they all were written,

The days fashioned for me,

When as yet there were none of them.

He loves each of us equally and unconditionally, no matter our status by the world’s definition of beauty.

John 3:16 // For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Romans 5:8 // But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Jeremiah 31:3 // The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying:

“Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love;

Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.

And I got to thinking about these truths, and combined, they basically mean one thing:

God has a completely different definition of beauty.

The world’s idea of beauty? Think about it. It’s a standard we’ve come up with overtime. One that is false, and doesn’t even truly matter in the grand scheme of things.

The true definition of beauty has been around since the foundations of the earth and man was created. Far longer than any worldly idea. Any definition they can come up with is false. Yet so often, we make that our idea of beauty.

You are made in His image, and He loves you. He knew you before you even entered this world, and He had a perfect plan for you. He made you exactly as He wanted you to be. The more I got to thinking about this, I realized, it doesn’t matter what the world says!

Their opinion isn’t even valid.

You don’t have to fall into the trap this world has set and put yourself down because of some false standard.

We are a sinful, broken generation, seeing the world and those in it through a perverted lens.

Look at yourself in the eyes of the God who loves you, and gave His only Son for you. Don’t worry about what the world thinks. Live in the comfort of knowing that your are loved, beautiful, and valued beyond measure in the sight of the King of the world, who made you in His very own image.

~

Thank you for reading my rant, haha. I hope it was encouraging to you and has inspired you to look at yourself in no other way than how God sees you. This has been on my heart for a while, and I’m excited to finally be sharing it with you.

So what about you? How has world’s idea of beauty caused you to look at yourself in a negative light? How has God’s love for you changed how you see yourself? And what’s going on in your world this month? Anything exciting going on? Leave me a comment and let’s chat!

Hey there, everyone! Today, I’ve got a guest post from Beloved, the author of The Daily Life of Hailey Grace. I hope you enjoy it and check out her debut novel!

From Beloved:

Hello! Thank you for having me featured on your blog.  I am ever so excited to share a little about my journey towards following my dreams and a bit of the opposition that comes with it. I’ve learned that everything must start with prayer. Regardless of what one sets out to accomplish, prayer must be your first response. It took me a great deal of time and a whole lot of pain, regret, and disappointment to come to this one conclusion.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5) Only through Jesus I have a chance at anything. He is the Author and finisher of my faith. Having now established Him as the source and the foundation of my faith, now the journey truly begins. And so, began my journey to publication. Along the way were quite a few setbacks and I must admit all of which started with myself having stepped outside the will of God. God’s absolute best sometimes calls for a season of waiting. During that waiting period we are being pruned and prepared for the exceedingly abundantly above all we can ask or think. “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,” (Ephesians 3:20) I would say that waiting season can be a challenging and yet fruitful experience for anyone of faith. Like the men and women of faith who have come before us, that season of waiting is an invitation for the enemy to use one of his greatest weapons. Deception.  I like to think of deception as an illusion of some sort. Such an image can take on the form of many things depending on the individual. Nevertheless, deception asks the same question in the end. “When God, When?  

The more time you spend with that question, the more likely you will find yourself entertaining doubt and unbelief until you no longer believe the very One you set out to believe. Then you begin to make things happen yourself, thereby making matters worse. I’m sure you have all been there, and if you haven’t, please keep these words close to your heart and refuse to travel that path. Trust me, the cost is too high, and it isn’t worth it. I would say time has been my greatest struggle. Looking too much at time, instead of at the One who exists outside of time and is not limited by it. I said all that to say, “Trust God.” Regardless of whatever it is that you’re pursuing, Trust God with it. Don’t move if He says not to move. Stay when He says to stay. Go when He says go. I will leave you with the words of Jesus’ Mother.  “His mother said to the servants, ‘Do whatever he tells you.’” (John 2:5)

About the Book:

For Hailey Grace, birthdays suck! She hopes with all her heart that her big day passes without gifts, or even a birthday wish. But with loving parents and two witty best friends who keep her on her toes, there’s no telling what adventure Hailey Grace will be forced to explore this time. Unexpectedly, her best friend Alex challenges her to do something she’s never done before. With that comes a whole new set of rules, and another life Hailey isn’t sure she’s quite ready for. Now questioning all that she has ever believed, she takes Alex up on the dare by asking for something that no one but God can give her. Her request also comes with a twenty-four-hour deadline. As the minutes slowly but surely tick by, Hailey’s life shifts into overdrive and she wonders if she has asked for too much too soon.

You can purchase The Daily Life of Hailey Grace here.

About Beloved:

Beloved is a ministry leader and Christian Romance Author born and raised in Miami, FL. She spends much of her time studying the scriptures and has a gift for sharing the Gospel. Through her debut novel, Beloved hopes to inspire youth to seek God whole-heartily, knowing there is nothing impossible with Him on their side!

All the Links!

We’re five days into the new year, and I have already learned so much through a freshly made commitment to read the Bible daily.

You’ll hear people all the time talk about how you can learn a lot from sitting under a pastor, speaker, etc. But you’ll get the most out of your own time spent with the Lord.

I’ll testify to that. And I just wanted to quickly share something that stood out to me in my Bible reading this week, because I think it’s something we can all take away from and use to make 2019 the best it can be.

If you want to strengthen your relationship with God this year and live out His beautiful plan for your life, here are four steps to help you do that.

Seek God’s Word

Good intentions and new year’s resolutions will get you nowhere if they’re not combined with action. And the surest way to find God this year is to seek Him. Really seek Him.

How I do this is through reading the Word daily. The Bible says this about the blessed man in Psalms: But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and in His law he mediates day and night.

I’ve learned that there are different ways of doing this. Maybe you open to a random spot in the Bible and begin reading, maybe you read a couple chapters a day, maybe you use a devotional with key verses, or maybe you use a method of Bible study, like SOAP, ACTS, etc.

I would encourage you to find what works best for you and go with it. I think that depending on where I am in my Christian walk tends to determine how I study my Bible. At least, I’ve found that my methods of Bible study have changed over the years.

Right now, I’m doing a Bible reading plan to finish it in a year. It has me reading daily from the Old Testament, a Psalm or Proverb, and then a passage from the New Testament. I write down the verses that stick out to me, and then when I’m finished reading, I’ll write down my “thoughts” on the verses- how to apply them. That usually determines what my prayer time looks like. I’ll pray for God’s help to practice what I’ve learned in my reading.

So, step one: Find your method of Bible study, and be faithful to it. Set aside time every day to spend time with God.

And on a side note, if you miss a day, keep going. This isn’t a chore or daily to-do. As I do with most everything on my task list, if I mess up one day, I tend to label the week as “failed” (one of my resolutions is to get out of that mindset). When it comes to your time with God, it’s especially important not to do this. Your week will “fail” because of your lack of time spent with God. So don’t beat yourself up if you mess up. I do it all the time, and I’m grateful we have a God that forgives and continues to love and pursue us anyway.

Know God’s Word

This practical application is so necessary in the world we live in today. Knowing God’s Word will help us guard against temptation and against the lies the Enemy throws at us. This world has blurred the lines of good and evil, and oftentimes things aren’t so black and white as we’d like them to be. So knowing what God has said is right and wrong is important in our daily lives as Christians.

Jesus Himself was tried by the Enemy in the wilderness. But He was on His guard every time, starting with the words It is written.

He knew the Word, and because of this, He was able to stand against Him. He quoted Scripture every time He was tested, and finally, the devil left Him alone.

When we know God’s Word, we can choose to say no to temptation in this world because we will know what’s right and wrong.

And a big one in our culture- lies. This world’s definition of success, beauty, and what qualifies as “good enough” are so perverted. And yet we fall for them everyday. A song I’ve been loving recently really hits home when it says “I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough, every single lie that tells me I will never measure up.”

It’s so easy to fall prey to these lies and believe them. And that’s another reason it’s so important to know God’s Word. Who are we in His eyes? What does He say about us?

There are so many verses in the Bible that are filled with truth to combat the lies we face. And it’s important to know them so that we can use them ourselves when a lie slips into our minds about who we are.

Step two: Know God’s Word so that you can use it to guard against temptation and combat the lies of this world.

Trust God’s Word

This tends to be easier said than done. But I believe God has proven Himself to be trustworthy time and time again.

One of the passages I read this week was that of Abraham and Sarah. God promised Sarah that she would bear a child, even in her old age. And she laughed. I find myself thinking “Why? Do you really not believe that God will do what He said He’ll do?”

But then I look at my own life, and all the times I haven’t trusted Him. When I’ve chosen to worry or complain instead. {A quote that really stood out to me this week went something like this: “Stop venting and start praying, because you don’t need sympathy, you need strength.”}

Think about how much more freely we could live if we simply chose to take God at His Word, trusting Him to do what He said He would do?

Something 2018 challenged me to do was this, and I’ve found it really helps: In the face of something I desired, I would say to God, “Ok, God. Here’s my desire. But regardless of the outcome, I trust your plan.”

Most often, it didn’t work out my way. But it gave me joy, trusting that His ways are not my ways, that it must not have been a part of His plan, and that my desires must not have been lined up with His.

Looking at things like this gave me a deeper trust in God, because by looking at everything with the mindset of “I trust you” really taught me to do so. It freed me from thinking my way would have been better.

Step three: Trust God’s Word. Trust that He has a plan for you, that His ways are higher, and that He is in control.

Obey God’s Word

No doubt in your Bible reading, you’re going to learn *a lottle* about how to live your life as a Christian. And when it comes down to it, seeking and knowing God’s Word isn’t enough. They’re about the head knowledge. But trusting and obeying God’s Word come from a heart that is overflowing with a love for our God.

I don’t think I have to say what obedience means for the Christian. But I will anyway! ;)) It allows us to bless those around us. It’s how lost souls are reached. It’s how we glorify God here on earth. And it’s evidence of our love for Christ because of what He’s done for us.

Obedience is key to walking with God and living the best life you can live. It may hurt at times. Other times, you may experience the joy right here on earth. But either way, the rewards are eternal.

So, seek God and what He’s said in His Word. Secondly, hide it in your heart so that you can combat the lies and trials you’ll face in this world. Then, trust Him- that He’s in control, and He’ll do what He’s said He will do. And lastly, obey what you’ve learned from His Word.

There you go- four steps to making 2019 the best year it can possibly be!

I’m using the Bible reading plan from BibleStudyTools.com, and I’m really liking it. So if you’d like to use it yourself, here’s the link!

Let’s Chat!

Happy New Year, friends! How do you study your Bible? What are your New Years resolutions, and how are you doing on them so far? What’s your biggest goal for 2019?

Blessings,

~ Riley Aline

*DISCLAIMER* I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Fallen Leaves is a beautiful, cozy story about trusting in God’s timing, and furthermore that beauty can rise from ashes. Despite it’s ordinary, contemporary feel, this novel had me from page one. The homey settings, the autumn feels, and the vibrant descriptions caused my fall-loving-heart to overflow like the whipped cream topping a frappuccino from Brewer’s Coffee Shop. Covering the issues most teenagers experience through their high school years- anxiety, broken homes, temptations and peer pressure- this novel has the perfect combination of a light and cozy feel, while still being powerful and not too preachy. The characters were unique, and while some of them were annoying or just messed up (*coughs* Richard *piercing glare*), they were fun and well-written for the most part.

*mild spoilers ahead- nothing that will ruin the book ;)*

WHAT I LOVED:

~ If it wasn’t already entirely obvious, I LOVED the fall vibes this book gave me. I’ll be honest: before I even read the description of the novel, the title and cover were enough to get me on board this blog tour. But the vibrant autumn settings, the coziness of the coffee shop, and the artsy-ness of this novel kept me turning pages.

~ I loved how the flashbacks were delivered- not all at once, in one place. But sporadically, as Selena used the prompts given her in class to create her sketches. It was the perfect amount at the right times.

~ If you know anything about me, you probably know that I’m a sucker for any father relationship (specifically father-daughter ones, which I’m realizing may be a really overused cliché; but I love them, so who cares, ahaha). Because of this, even though Selena came off as a tad bit annoying to me in the beginning, I was always with her emotionally on her search for her father.

~ MADALEIGH. WHAT A GEM. The world needs more people like her! She was just the sweetest, with an intriguing backstory and love for mixed media art (SO COOL). I wished I could’ve seen even more of her, because she was definitely my favorite.

~ Austin. If I’m completely honest, it took me a while to warm up to him. His and Selena’s “relationship” seemed a bit forced to me (*disclaimer* I didn’t read Purple Moon, which may have given me a different perspective on this from the beginning, but I didn’t feel that I missed a whole bunch by starting with Fallen Leaves). However, as I got farther into the novel, I began to appreciate him more. But still only as a character. It took even longer for me to jump onto this ship… Of course, closer to the end, I had wet eyes, well-worn-out from rolling them, and a sappy grin.

WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE AS MUCH:

~ As I mentioned, Selena kind of annoyed me in the beginning…*hides* In addition, her relationship with Austin seemed fake to me at the beginning, which made it hard to root for them. Perhaps it’s because I found it hard to get a feel for Austin at first as well. These opinions changed throughout the story, but slowly. And only near the end of the book did I really come to enjoy their relationship.

~ Selena’s feelings towards her aunt, uncle, and cousin in the beginning were also hard to get a feel for in the beginning. It seemed that she was very happy to be with them…but I got mixed feelings about this further along, still in the first half of the book. Does she enjoy living with them, does she not? It’s very clear she loves it in Lake Lure; but as for her feelings about living with her relatives, it was hard to tell at times.

~ A few grammatical errors throughout.

~ This is just my personal opinion and has nothing to do with the quality of the book, or even how I felt about it overall (because I really enjoyed it). But there were numerous mentions of smoking and drinking, callbacks to former relationships that weren’t God-honoring or pure, and an instance of a teenage pregnancy. While I was able to relate to this story in some aspects, such as the overall idea of peer pressure, anxiety, and having to trust in God’s timing, I personally didn’t so much relate to these other things. Which is fine! I know other people will relate, and that will make this novel even more powerful for them. It just wasn’t my cup of tea in this area, and I don’t usually read this type of book.

But overall, I really enjoyed this story and would definitely encourage everyone to give it a read. The themes of beauty from brokeness, God’s control over every situation, and letting go of our fears and desires so God can transform our lives in a way we hadn’t expected truly spoke to me. If you’re looking for a cozy novel with beautiful, Christian themes to enjoy this fall season, I highly recommend Fallen Leaves.

Some of my favorite quotes:

“You have to ask yourself if life doesn’t play out the way you envisioned, would you still trust in God’s goodness and love for you?”

“God wouldn’t have brought you all this way and then leave you to fend for yourself. Whatever the outcome, He’s with you.”

“Beauty [can] arise from broken things. They don’t have to go to waste. They can be reused, reworked, and reshaped to contribute to masterpiece.”

“I just have to trust that God’s will for my future is beyond anything I could imagine right now. What’s the point in striving to force my own plans into place when His are better, anyway?”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Tessa Emily Hall writes inspirational yet authentic books for teens show them they’re not alone—and because she remembers the teen life like it was yesterday (or a few years ago). In addition to being a frequent contributor to both online and print publications, her debut novel was published while still in her teens. She’s the founder and editor-in-chief of PursueMagazine.net, a Christian teen magazine, and enjoys mentoring other young writers. She’s guilty of making way too many lattes and never finishing her to-read list. Tessa’s favorite way to procrastinate is by connecting with readers on her blog, mailing list, social media (@tessaemilyhall), and website: www.tessaemilyhall.com

CONNECT ON SOCIAL MEDIA

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*DISCLAIMER* This post is likely going to be really sappy, mellow dramatic, and maybe a bit personal {and also long over due?} So, don’t say I didn’t warn you. With that, if you’re interested in knowing my thoughts on the words senior year…

Read on, my friend…

Dear Senior Year,

It all started when “12th grade” was printed on my church camp wristband. Then, I was in the senior group at another camp. And finally, I attended the meeting that would officially kick you off- that was where we had the discussion about my graduation date, by the way. Thanks for that.

And thanks for stealing my junior summer. Really appreciate that ;). Also, for invading my life. Yeah, that was just wonderful.

Just kidding. I wasn’t ready for that.

You’ve got a lot to live up to. I have to be honest, Junior Year was my best year yet, so you’d better step it up. You’re already ending my childhood (fyi, not ok with this). I was able to meet so many new friends, participate in so many things, and go so many cool places. Let’s see what you’ve got.

Honestly, I’m just not ready. I’ve always looked on you as distant. So untouchable, so far away. And now, you’ve arrived. I’m not ready for the change. I’m not ready to “adult.” I’m not ready for people to try to springboard me out into the world. That’s what’s expected when you come around. The expectation itself is too much for me.

But there are so many things I’ll have to say goodbye to. People I’ll have to say goodbye to. The last 17 years I’ll have to wave and wish away. I’m just not ready.

Frankly, I’m scared. Scared of each month that will pass, each moment that will fade into a distant memory. Scared of graduation- the death wish of my childhood.

I’m sure in many ways, you’ll be similar to past years. Writing, learning, living. Spending time with friends and family. Growing closer to the Lord. I’m sure I’ll still be involved in the things I have been in the past.

More than anything, I just want you to matter. I don’t want to wish you away by waiting for the next thing. I want to live intentionally every month, every week, every day. I want to do what I love. Be with the people I love. Grow in my relationship with Love.

I might be more excited- more willing to embrace you with open arms- if I weren’t so focused on what’s to come when it’s over. With the end. Because while I’m scared of all the things you will hold, I’m even more terrified of what’s on the other side. This wall I’ve come to call graduation. When I reach the top, what’s on the other side?

I want to build a world on the other side this year. I don’t want you to be the end of everything. I know you’re not, but it’s so easy to think so at times.

And so I hope that, this year, I will develop my passions. Love my family and friends. Grow in the Lord. Progress in my character. Create a life on the other side before I reach it.

I hope that I’ll learn to rest in the Lord, that I may have the peace that surpasses all understanding, so I might not be afraid of you. That I might be prepared and willing and open and excited to finally experience you. Because you’re here. I can’t change that, as much as I would like to at times.

So, welcome, Senior Year.

Bring it on.

~ riley aline

Well…I hope if you’re a senior, or a teenager in high school looking forward to it, that this encouraged you. Writing it encouraged me, I think.

Now for a little update (if you’re still around after that)…

I had completely intended to post this at the beginning of the month. But it was kind of hard to get out of my mind and onto a page.

Also, I’ve been very inactive lately, and there are a couple of reasons for that. One, I spent the majority of the month of August planning a murder mystery party for my sister surprise 16th birthday party. I didn’t quite know what to do with myself when that was over.

Secondly, my mom had surgery last week, so we were gone a lot of the week, and my brain has just been kind of scattered, I guess.

Anyways, I started my senior year on September 3rd. Honestly, I was really excited because while I love the freedom (haha, yeah right) of summer, school keeps me motivated in other areas that I’m trying to work on this semester. Starting the day with the Lord, eating right, exercising (who knew I’d enjoy it??).

I’m also finally working on Will again! Writing the murder mystery for the party kind of set it on hold, but now I’m back at it and pleased to be! And I FINISHED THE FIRST DRAFT YESTERDAY. Now I’m just cleaning it up a little before sending it to some peeps for a content edit.

Reading…still trying to catch up. My goodreads goal is crying and pleading with me to get a move on. So. *cough* Hopefully that’ll get better too.

Let’s Talk!

Guyyyys!!! Tell me all the things! What grade are you in now? How are you feeling about the year? What are you currently reading? Writing? What are you most looking forward to this year?

*screams for six hours, seven minutes, and forty-three seconds*

Ok, now that that’s out of the way…

I HAD SUCH A BLAST AT REALM MAKERS and now I’m going to give you a post alllll about it. Here you go! I apologize in advance if this ends up being super long…

SESSIONS.

I was in the {continuing session} Teen Track, as well as Voice: Making Your Manuscript Sing, Everything You Need To Know About YA (Parts 1&2), And writing Believable Futuristic Technology.

The Teen Track was AMAZING. It was so foreign, like, sitting under someone learning about writing. Like, it’s not school…but it kind of is at the same time…except that I loved it! I learned so much in this track, and I was super pleased with it, especially since I had no clue what we were going to be learning in it!

The other sessions were great, too. The YA sessions were taught by Nadine Brandes and Mary Weber. So like, aside from the fact that I was sitting under someone’s teaching, I WAS SITTING UNDER TWO AMAZING AUTHORS. LIKE WHAT?

My favorite session was probably the one on Voice, as well as the teen track session talking about prose. Up until this point, I’ve felt like more of a storyteller than a writer. But now I’ve learned some tips to help me start cleaning up my writing and making it really flow. And sing.

In addition to these sessions, there were also “sponsor spotlight” sessions. I didn’t know what those were before I got to the conference, but I ended up going to the one How to Edit Like a Pro. It was super helpful! Basically? Getting to learn about writing was just…so cool. If that was all I’d gotten out of this trip, it would’ve been worth it.

But it wasn’t…

And here’s where we left off last week. Here’s the second part of chapter one snippet of my WIP Will (second book in The Homeschool Kids). If you missed Part 1, here’s that pretty little link.

As resentful as he was that he couldn’t have his father around like other kids could, he knew he could never wish this life on anyone. Never. It did make him jealous, though, pondering how many families were just here for a relaxing vacation or something pleasant. With their whole family.

            The long, glassy building before Will had a negative effect on him. He’d been here so many times over the course of his fourteen years. From the time he was a baby, carried in his mother’s arms, to being a toddler sitting on his father’s shoulders, to…now. Walking beside both his mom and dad as they approached the building. And he couldn’t remember a single occasion on which he’d come for a reason other than to see his dad off.

            The funny, and almost ironic, part of it all, was that Will had never even flown on an airplane, much less been on one. And that wasn’t because he was afraid of heights. His mother worked far too much to get away on a vacation, and when his father was home, it was more of a stay-cation. Money was tight. But this was necessary to get his dad where he needed to go.

Who knew? Maybe if it were different, Will and his family- his whole family- would take a vacation now and then. If his dad wasn’t always gone; if he had a normal, good paying job. But Will figured he’d be out of the house before his dad was ever home for good. And this building was a constant reminder of that.

            Will clenched his fist at his side.

            Following his parents as they followed the signs to the last leg of their trip, Will stared at the busy coffee shops and stores around him. From sipping their lattes to buying last minute essentials for vacation to browsing the various magazines while waiting for their flights, people were busy. Will’s focus closed in on a young man and his daughter, who appeared to be having an eating race with their footlong hot dogs. Just beside their seats stood two older men, one whose mouth moved in a serious manner, and the other who stood listening with attentive ears and furrowed brows. Will tried to make out their words, but between the woman’s voice over the loud speakers calling out flight numbers and the numerous people talking with their friends and family, Will couldn’t hear their distinct conversation. It was a drastic change from the quiet of his bedroom the previous hour. To his right, a couple of parents tried desperately to keep their curious child from roaming free around the massive building. Will had lost such childlike wonder a long time ago. He remembered the feeling- the large building, full of opportunity, with planes coming and going. It would take forever to explore it all. But it had the effect of sparking a love for airplanes in some kids. To Will, though, the place only served as a constant reminder of the worst part of his life.

            He didn’t mutter so much as a syllable as he sat down beside his mom on the long bench, waiting for his dad’s flight. The warmth of her shoulder against his wasn’t enough to melt his heart, or even warm his right shoulder, exposed to the cool airport air. Will rest his chin on his fist, staring ahead across the main aisle of the building at the map of the airport. It was massive, illuminated with light from behind the glass. Will caught sight of the list of restaurants and coffee shops on the left side of the map, and his stomach growled. He hadn’t had a chance to eat that morning.

            He started at the map for a solid five minutes, finding himself still as his bedroom that morning. It was as though his mind was drawing a blank. He felt so empty, like his insides had been sucked out of him, leaving him hollow. He couldn’t remember ever feeling this low. It was always disappointing when his father left. But he guessed it was just different now. Will’s childhood years were almost gone, and his dad had missed the majority of them. And he would miss most of Will’s high school years. He would miss him getting his license, turning 18, maybe even taking a girl home for the first time. Would he even come home for Will’s graduation? He wished his dad would just understand how much those things meant to him, and how he wished he could be around for them.

            Over the loud speakers, a flight number was called. Will’s parents stood, so shaking his head and clenching his fist, he reluctantly stood and followed close behind, like a duckling following its mother. If only that were how humans worked. If families always stuck together like ducks did.

            His arms hung loosely at his sides like noodles, and his eyes flooded with tears. He tried blinking them back. He tried subtly wiping away. But they began to sting, and Will knew there was no hiding the redness, even if he could somehow stop the tears.

            Will was not at all recovered when he reached the point where he and his mom would no longer follow. He’d been in this position too many times. For others, it may seem like there was nothing to stop them but a line and an escalator. Like there wasn’t actually anything physically separating them from someone they loved. But Will had come to see the situation differently. It was as though there was a glass wall where in reality, there was only a colored line on the floor. Will was able to watch his father leave but stepping towards him was impossible. Making him stay a moment longer wasn’t an option. When he crossed, that was the end. And Will could bang on the invisible wall all he wanted, but the truth was, when he stopped, everything would still be the same.

            There was no dam to hold Will’s tears back when he watched his dad take his mom into his strong arms. She shook violently in his embrace, and he tried to comfort her, holding her close and whispering something in her ear. Will wondered how she felt. Did she feel abandoned? Unloved? Did she wonder when it was all going to end? Maybe it was just Will. Maybe he was the only one who had an issue with the life his dad had chosen.

            Despite all of his bitter feelings up to that point, they were all put on hold when it was his turn to say goodbye. His dad tore away from his mother, who stood with her hand pressed to her lips beneath her tear stained eyes. Turning to face Will, his father’s eyes held both a look of sympathy and of fragility. He sighed before opening his quivering lips. “Will,” he began, in the gentlest tone, “you know I’ll be back.” This wasn’t how their goodbyes normally began. But Will had been far more verbal about how he felt about everything, so his dad knew.

            Will gulped, and when he spoke, defeat plagued his voice. “When?”

            His dad stared straight into his eyes, seeming to be searching for the right words to say. With a sorrowful look in his eyes, he shook his head. “I don’t know yet.” Will sighed heavily, the sob building in his throat making it shaky. “But I will be. I always come back,” he told him, clapping Will’s shoulder. “Alright?”

            That was true. He had always come back. But the hardest part about all of this- the part that Will and his mom, and his dad for that matter, rarely spoke of- was the possibility of him never returning. Of this being their last goodbye. His dad didn’t understand the fact that, it wasn’t a matter of trust. It was a matter of circumstance. He could die, and Will and his mother would be left alone.

            Quickly pushing that thought far from his mind, Will humored his father and nodded. He’d be back… He’d be back. “I love you, dad.”

            For the first time that day, his dad smiled. A real smile. “I love you too, Will.” His dad hugged him one last time, and then turned to his mother. They stared at each other for a long moment, and Will had to look away.

            After the kiss that he knew followed their stares, his father turned, bag in hand, and approached the escalator before him. One step. Another. Closer, and closer. He turned one last time on his way up, saluting just before he disappeared from sight. Will felt his mother’s shaking arm wrap firmly around his shoulders.

            The drive back home was too quiet. Not because of the quiet- it had been plenty quiet on the way to the airport. But because of the missing presence. It made the silence more dense, more hollow. More devastating. Instantly, he began to regret his lack of words before his father had left, but even now he was still having a hard time suppressing the bitterness he felt. Will leaned back against his seat and stared out the car window at the fast food restaurants and the bank running past his field of vision. When is this ever going to end?

Well, I hope you’ve enjoyed these snippets and that you’ll go check out my first book, Daisy, who is a…really annoying friend of Will’s

Well, surprise! I’m officially unofficially going on another hiatus…it wasn’t exactly planned. But considering I’ll be gone for the first three weeks of July, it doesn’t leave me much time for blogging. *hides*

I feel like I always have a bajillion (is that even a word?) excuses, but I literally leave for church camp on Monday, come back Saturday, repack, leave for a Christian leadership camp, come back Friday, and then PACK FOR REALM MAKERS. EEEEPPPP I’M HONESTLY SO PUMPED FOR THIS MONTH.

So, I figured I’d uhhhh…leave you with a little present. *thrusts post in your face* It’s a not-so-snippety snippet from my WIP. Will is the sequel (kind of) to Daisy, both stories in The Homeschool Kids. What’s Will about? It’s about a teenage boy, whose father is in the military. He rarely sees him, and now that he’s leaving again, Will wonders if his dad actually cares about him. And…well, yeah. A full (un-updated) synopsis is on my writing page if you want to check it out. The genre is Christian Contemporary Fiction.

And now heRE’S MY PRECIOUS CHILD’S STORY.

Will Austin zipped up his over sized gray jacket, sighing heavily as he did so. The first hints of sunlight shone in through the blinds, casting a striped sheet of darkness and light over his quiet bedroom. Everything was still. Even the prolonged ziiippp sound triggered his frustration. He didn’t mind the quiet. Nothing sounded better to him than pretending that his parents weren’t down the hall getting ready to walk out the door. The quiet made it easier to fool himself into believing that it was just a harshly cold November night, and he’d only risked the icy floor boards to find a jacket. Will closed his eyes and inhaled the cold air through his stuffed-up nostrils.

            It was a day he had dreaded for a long time. He’d known it would come eventually. But he’d allowed his hopeful heart to believe that maybe, just maybe, if he lived each moment to its fullest often enough, he could postpone it somehow. But for all the trying he did to prolong the time, the day had come even quicker than it had seemed to in the past. And now his dad was leaving. Again.

            Will knelt down to his cold, hard floor, sparing his feet the chilling pain as he slipped on a pair of socks. His emotions followed him. They’d been his ghost all week, sticking to his skin like the early morning fog. As guilty as he felt to think in such a way, he couldn’t suppress the bitterness he harbored in his heart. The anger and sadness alike had been eating away at him more in the past month than they had in his whole fourteen years of living. It had started within, working its way to his skin. All that remained was a cold, hollow inside, and a frozen heart. Because Will’s dad was in the military, he was only ever back for a small period of the year. Home for the thirty days he was allowed, and then gone for training and deployment the remaining eleven months. Will was always ecstatic when the time rolled around for him to come home. He still was. But the time with him were getting shorter, and his time away was getting longer. Will was ready for the coming and going to end. Will’s mother may have been strong enough to marry a marine, but Will had no choice in the matter. He was a freshman now. He needed his dad to be there for him, now more than ever. And while he knew it was unfair to think so, he couldn’t help it. The bitterness had caused him to feel pushed to the backburner. Unloved. And it wasn’t a feeling he could remedy as easily as slipping a jacket on when it got cold.

            As Will slipped on his old tennis shoes, caked in mud, he thought back to when he was younger. As a child, he’d always thought his dad’s job was the coolest. His dad was a marine. It was a topic he’d often boasted about in church, and to his classmates when he was still in public school. He’d always like to think of his father as a mix Captain America and Steve Trevor.

Will still admired him for his service. He was his dad, after all. He’d always be proud of that. But things were changing for his small family. The most important years of Will’s life were in front of him. This was high school. It would only be a matter of time before Will was learning to drive, getting a job, choosing a college, and having a real career. Will was set on never going into the military. He respected his father for it, but there was no way he could do that after living through the result his whole life. And he certainly couldn’t do that to his family. Well, if he ever had a family…

            And his mom! Will shook his head, thinking about how strong and hardworking she was. She was a waitress by day, a teacher in the evenings, and a loving mother by night. She was the most selfless person he knew- everything she did was for someone else. But Will didn’t think everything she did, she should have to do alone. She needed his dad. She was always the happiest when he was home- he’d seen her smile so much more consistently when he was around. His heart hardened a little more at the thought of her coming home, exhausted, only to jump right back to work teaching him and cooking dinner. She never had time for herself.

            Will supposed his father was selfless too. He didn’t like thinking about it, but he could lose his life at any moment while fighting for what he believed in. But he would prefer for him to be selfless at home, with Will, catering to his selfishness.

His bed frame creaked beneath his weight as Will settled down on his mattress. He took deep breaths, trying to calm his emotions. Everything was still again. His mind. His room. The strips of light from his window chased his floor until they met the grey walls, opposite his bed. Against the wall sat his hand-carved dresser, poured over and built by his grandfather after his years of service. Will often tried to remember at what point he came home for good. Maybe his dad would do the same one day and pick up the same hobby of wood working. Teach Will a thing or two.

            “Will!” His mom’s voice echoed from down the hall, the pain in her voice as clear at the brightest stars on a dark night. “Are you ready to go?” No, he wasn’t ready. He’d never be ready for his father to walk out on him again. Neither of them would be. But there was nothing he could do to change the inevitable. It was time. Will pulled his grey jacket tightly around him, overlapping the oversized fabric in the front. He wished he could somehow warm the inner cold that was slowly freezing him to death. But he supposed even the largest bonfire couldn’t melt his frozen heart.

            “Sure,” he grumbled, heading for the door and turning the loose, metal knob. He could hear the hushed voices of his parents talking, and he followed the sound down the hall until he reached open, still dark living room. Curtains cut off any light that might have tried to shine in. When he entered, his father turned and faced his direction. His reddened version of Will’s same grey eyes cast a look of sympathy in his direction. And his dark, black hair, which had grown out some since he’d come home, matched Will’s exactly. Will stared down at his feet; his father knew good and well how he felt about him leaving again.

            “Come on, Will.” His voice was low, caring. He extended his hand to Will, who hesitated. His breath caught in his throat. It was as though he was about to step forward to meet death- something he didn’t want to do. How could he force his feet to move towards something so awful? So permanent?

            Will took a deep breath, reminding himself that this wasn’t permanent. At least, that was the hope and prayer every time his father left again. Finally, Will made his heavy foot take the first step forward. This was it. As he came up beside them, Will’s father wrapped his arm around his shoulders. The family of three slowly made their way out the front door into the biting air.

            Watching his mom wipe away a glistening tear from her eye and tuck a strand of her dirty blonde hair behind her ear lodged something in Will’s throat. Her cheerful, light brown eyes just weren’t as radiant without the smile that gave them life- the smile that he only saw when his dad was home. He hated seeing her so downcast, and he gave her hand a quick squeeze before climbing into the backseat of their tan Cadillac. A half smile crawled onto her face, but it still lacked its beaming happiness.

            Will had seen so many movies in which, when something went wrong, it was always raining. Be it friends saying goodbye, at a funeral, lovers breaking things off (Will didn’t watch many of those). It made him sick. He couldn’t stand those scenes. It always seemed to make the situation worse. But it didn’t have to be raining. It was a cold and bitter enough day without the rain. Even the fresh dew, the chirping birds, and the sunlight couldn’t change that. He could practically feel the sharp, icy droplets pelting his jacket and slipping down his back. Bitterly crossing his arms, Will leaned back in his seat, staring out the window at the cloudy sky.

            And then, in a split second, his feelings of anger and frustration melted away beneath the sunlight, beating down on him, and tears surfaced in his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to be alone and be able to cry. There was no turning back now, and it just wasn’t fair. Why did his father have to leave when plenty of other teenagers got to see their dads all the time? When other boys were able to bring a girl home for the first time and actually get their dad’s approval? Why did Will only get to see him for a month out of every year, while most other kids only had to miss their fathers for a select number of hours daily, if that? Why didn’t he get to have his dad there to give him advice when others went to their dads with their problems at will? Will certainly didn’t choose this life! And he knew that if he could change it, he would in an instant. But this was out of his hands. Rather, it was in the hands of the One who gave him this life that he didn’t choose.

            Pulling into the airport parking lot a half hour later was like a direct slap in the face for Will. It was no use wondering why. It wouldn’t change anything. Will stepped out of the car, which had just started warming up, into the damp air. He surveyed the various vehicles that filled the paring lot. There were a lot. He wondered if anyone there was in the same boat he was…the farewell boat. Was he all alone?

Wow *covers mouth* That was longer than I remembered. Heehee, I hope you liked it and want to come back because I MAY JUST SCHEDULE ANOTHER POST WITH THE REST OF THE CHAPTER FOR NEXT WEEK.

If you’re a Christian, a homeschooler, or both, check out my first installment in the series, Daisy (The Homeschool Kids) on Amazon, or add it on Good Reads! I would love to hear your thoughts on it, as well as this snippet.

Let’s Talk!

What did you think of the snippet? Have you read Daisy? Are you homeschooled? What’s your WIP, and WHERE CAN I READ SOME OF YOUR WRITING? What do you have going on this summer? I hope to catch up with you when I’m back from…everything… I’ll definitely have a wrap up post coming your way. I hope you’re having a fantastic summer!