Anne F. Balcom's Blog

 Monday February 15, 2021

I woke up to my alarm Wednesday morning, February 3, 2021 to get ready for another day of working at home thanks to the Covid-19 pandemic. Everyday when I wake the first things I do are take my thyroid meds, go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, brush my hair, put on my robe and head down to the kitchen to have coffee with my husband, David. I always check my social media platforms while sipping my coffee and then, if I remember, check my personal email if I see any interesting pop-up notifications. One pop-up caught my eye as it had Mom's name in the subject heading "Marilyn Bromley". 

A gentleman by the name of Carl Wieck is who sent the email about Mom. Carl, originally born in Louisville now lives in Finland but it turns out he knew Mom when they both were elementary age children at George Rogers Clark Elementary School. Carl had gone to school with my mom from elementary school all the way through high school and even some college (Clark Elementary, Barret Junior High, Atherton High and later University of Louisville). 

In his email Carl included a full page letter to me reminiscing about the crush he had had on Mom throughout his youth; as he puts it she was his "first great love" at the age of 8. He explained that he had found my book on the internet, purchased and read it.  I cannot begin to explain the emotion I felt when reading his email and letter...it was almost like Mom was alive again, envisioning my mom as a little girl and this little boy following her around.  I read his letter with warmth in my heart and a tear in my eye.

I hope Carl understands how very much it meant to me that he reached out. I think the only thing that might have made his email even better is if he had a photo of he and mom together as children from the birthday party he mentions in his letter. 

With Carl's permission I have copied and pasted his email and letter here in the post below. Please enjoy.

Carl's email

Dear Anne Balcom,

I want to thank you for your blog book. I ran across it on the Net and decided to order and read it. Which has now successfully taken place.

My reason: I went all through school with your mother and always considered her my first great love (though at around 8 that was pretty distant). But since you ask for remembrances of that grand lady, I'm including a few of my own.

Now let's hope your e-mail is still the one mentioned on page 123 of your book.
Thank you again for opening the door a crack for me to see Marilyn again.
Big hug,
Carl Wieck

Carl's letter

It must have been in kindergarten with Miss Jauckens and later Miss Gordon that I shared classes with Marilyn Bromley. Later it was with Miss Fegenbush. In my memory (I’m 83 as I write this so take that into account) it was in third grade with Miss Cross that Marilyn’s beauty became fully evident to me and I did all in my power to attract the attention of that frail whisp of a girl. To me she was a vision of loveliness the like of which was a new and powerful force in my life. I recall her being dressed in shirt-waist frilly dresses that seemed more frothy than real. My antics in class got me sent out to sit in the hall at least once a day, but I couldn’t help myself. 

It was on one of those hall stays that Miss Pearl B. Speed noticed my seemingly permanent exclusion and invited me to come with her to her class. She assured me she would see that I got into no trouble with Miss Cross, so I accompanied her to her classroom where she put a book of beautiful bird pictures in front of me and I sat calmly drawing for the next two hours. Little did she know that it was to interest Marilyn Bromley that I had crossed the good behavior line once again. The following year was Miss Speed’s turn to deal with me and she did so with precisely the same artistry she had displayed the previous year. 

I believe it was around that time that my mother set up a birthday party for the first and last time. That was a major development that needed to be recognized as such and I was told I could invite five or six friends of my choosing. Top of the list was Marilyn. We lived at the time at 2213 Payne Street while Marilyn lived on Birchwood and I believe her mother brought her in a car along with Margaret Ward (one just can’t leave a little sister behind for such a big event, and I had one of my own so understood the logic involved) and picked them both up two or three hours later. I was over the moon and only remember how excited I was the entire afternoon.

My good friend Alex Wilson lived on South Galt, close to Clark School, and one Saturday I went to play with him. In his garage were two bicycles that he decided we should take for a spin. I had never been on a bicycle before and was having problems controlling the iron beast but did as well as I could manage. When deciding where to go, I suggested going down Birchwood, since I knew that Marilyn’s family lived there somewhere and had memorized the street number for just such an occasion. Alex had no idea what was in my mind but as a pal went along with my suggestion. When we turned right on South Birchwood, right next to the Crescent Hill Public Library, I ran my uncontrolled bike into the calf of a black lady who was clearly on her way to work in someone’s home (there was no other explanation for her presence there in those days). I was hugely embarrassed and believe I tore her stocking, but after her initial shock, she gently allowed me to excuse myself for not knowing how to brake the bike.

Now, Alex and I picked up where we had left off and down Birchwood we headed. I succeeded in spotting Marilyn’s home, but was not lucky enough to catch a glimpse of my dream lady. A few houses later came a sharp descent, and the street was either unmade or in bad shape because I recall it being strewn with gravel. I was following Alex but without brakes, I suddenly came to the conclusion that I had to take a fall rather than rocket out onto Grinstead Drive where a car might await me. The gravel and my speed soon meshed, and I arose from the encounter pretty badly banged up, bleeding sufficiently from various places.

What to do? It came to me that since I knew where Marilyn lived, I might ask her mother (who knew me at least from the birthday party) for some band-aid aid. When Mrs. Bromley saw me, she took me in and resolved all the issues in no time, and I even got a glimpse of Marilyn. My mother later phoned Mrs. Bromley to thank her for patching up her son and I wore the patches as badges of honor. What I recall of that encounter is how calm and sweet Mrs. Bromley was to me. My own mother, I was sure, would have reacted in a more excited manner.

In the years that followed, Marilyn and I were often in the same classes, and this continued through Clark, Barret and Atherton. We were always friends but went our own ways. We even graduated from the University of Louisville, albeit a couple of years apart, which meant that I never ran into her on campus. After U. of L., I was seldom in Louisville since I was pursuing my studies in Berlin, at Northwestern and in Paris. But now and again I would hear from my mother, who had taken a position as a librarian at Eline Library, that Marilyn had come in and said hello to me. Somehow, I heard (possibly from my mother) that Marilyn had had heart troubles, and it is of interest to me that the same doctor who did a triple by-pass on my father, Dr. Lansing, operated on her. I hope he was less snippy (no pun intended, of course) with her than he was when I asked him questions about my father’s impending slicing. 

From the blog book I am privileged to learn (and see) some glimpses of Marilyn’s life and the people who have populated it. For instance, I would have recognized anywhere Marilyn’s father Paul Bromley, a man I always considered exceedingly handsome as well as gentle and kind. And Marilyn’s mother still impresses me to the point where I would have liked a better picture of her. Margaret Ward is hard for me to see clearly, but I well recall that when she was working for the Kentucky Opera Association (?), she chose some of my father’s photographs for advertising purposes. Somewhere, I still have a few of the beautiful cards she had made. Beverly was younger than those in my world at the time. I also recall when Paul Bromley suffered a heart attack as he was trying to get back up the hill to his family during a tornado. I could imagine just how terrible that was for all concerned. 

I am also grateful that Marilyn found a life partner who didn’t flinch when the “or worse” wave hit, as well as children and grandchildren to distract her with joy, and love her like she deserved.

Marilyn, with her ice-melting smile, would have appreciated a line my wife vouchsafed to me the day before she died. As she lay there, communicating with pencil and paper but otherwise plugged into every wired machine possible, and after being told that her brother wanted to come to see her, she came out with, “Martti thinks I’m dying, but if he comes tomorrow, I think he’ll still find me well-connected.”

***********

I was curious about the house that Carl mentioned at 2213 Payne Street so I did a little research of my own on Google and found the following information below. What a beautiful home!

This black and white photo is of the home at 2213 Payne Street in Louisville Ky that Carl mentions living in and having his birthday party which my mother and aunt attended. Below is the link from where I found this picture along with information from the University of Louisville about the home.Click on this link from the Univ of Louisville digital library, information on 2213 Payne Street, Louisville Ky
The color picture above is a more recent photo of the home at 2213 Payne Street, Louisville Ky which I have been told has since been torn down.

An entry from my book as read by me along with a slide show of family pictures.  He���s Your Husband Hal, Not Your Father. #AlzAuthors #ENDALZ #mariashriver #womensalzmovement #leezagibbons #leezascareconnection

Feel free to share on any social media platform.

Click on this link to purchase my book.
The Blue Velvet Drape: Dealing with Dementia: Her Daughter's Journal

An entry from my book as read by me along with a slide show of family pictures.  He’s Your Husband Hal, Not Your Father. #AlzAuthors #ENDALZ #mariashriver #womensalzmovement #leezagibbons #leezascareconnection

Feel free to share on any social media platform.

Click on this link to purchase my book.
The Blue Velvet Drape: Dealing with Dementia: Her Daughter's Journal

In honor of Alzheimer's and Brain Awareness Month, I'm once again teaming up with AlzAuthors to celebrate by holding a book sale.
The paperback version of The Blue Velvet Drape: Dealing with Dementia will be on sale from June 15-22 for more than 20% off, and the eBook version will be 50% off!
You can find my book in either version by clicking the Amazon link below, or find through the bookstore tab at AlzAuthors.com.
In addition to my book please consider looking through the other beautiful books in the AlzAuthors.com bookstore.

Amazon link to purchase:  The Blue Velvet Drape: Dealing with Dementia
If my book was helpful for you I would love to know your opinion by leaving a review on my Amazon page.

#AlzAuthors #ENDALZ #HilarityforCharity #HFC 

I'm honored to have been asked to sit in as a panelist and representative of AlzAuthors at the Alzheimer's Association - Western Carolina Chapter Dementia Education Conference in Charlotte, NC on Aug. 28.  After our portion of the conference we will be at the AlzAuthors table selling our books and answering questions.  If any of you happen to be in the area please stop by.  Below is more information.
*****"AlzAuthors Participates in 2019 Alzheimer's Association - Western Carolina Chapter Dementia Education Conference

AlzAuthors is excited to announce our participation in the 2019 Dementia Education Conference, sponsored by the Alzheimer's Association-Western Carolina Chapter on Wed., Aug. 28th in Charlotte, NC.

Anne Balcom, author of The Blue Velvet Drape: Dealing with Dementia, and Richard Creighton, Author of the blog, Living with Alzheimer's will present "Blogging About Caregiving: Does It Help?" a panel facilitated by Ann Campanella.

AlzAuthor Barbara Ivey will present the workshop, "Siblings Surviving Alzheimer's Together."

The AlzAuthors North Carolina Traveling Library will be on display during the conference, and there will be drawings for a number of caregiving books.  AlzAuthors books by Anne Balcom, Barbara Ivey, Mary Ann Drummond, Malia Kline, Senia Owensby and Ann Campanella will be on sale."

For more information, visit
https://www.alz.org/northcarolina/helping_you/education/dementia_education_conference
#AlzAuthors #AlzAuthor #AlzAssoc #EndAlz #dementiacare #caregiving #caregiver

December 15, 2018:  I received a scheduled phone call from a writer for the Episcopal Church Home who wanted to interview me about Mom's history of illness and dementia as well as my blog and why I published.  Our interview was great and the article was very well written and posted in the Episcopal Retirement Services blog.  Below is the link to the article which was posted publicly in January 2019.
Feel free to share.

https://blog.episcopalretirement.com/episcopal-church-home-blog/dealing-with-dementia-one-daughters-journal?fbclid=IwAR2zEKmdax6ZvCK8yFfRzVXITIExSX_Ub2Tqpt6w0GwORmvQSb2xlprRJRk

Well...slowly but surely my book is getting out there, hopeful that it's helpful somehow to other caregivers who may have chosen to read it.

Since the death of my mom I've published most entries of this blog, sold the published books on Amazon both paperback and ebook, became affiliated with AlzAuthors, added my book to the inventory of a local bookstore in Louisville Ky called Carmichael's Bookstore (both locations), and I'm now on the Goodreads website with my own Goodreads Author page.

In addition to all of the above I have my social media platforms which I post to when I feel the need.  All of the links to these platforms are listed to the right side of this blog however I've listed them all here in this post.

If you are someone who has chosen to read my book I would love to hear your feedback.  On Amazon and Goodreads you can write reviews to let other potential readers know if you think the book is worth reading.  Also, on Goodreads you are able to ask me questions which I will answer, usually the same day/week.  I really do look forward to hearing from you and I want to thank you for reading.

-Anne

LINKS
*AlzAuthors: https://alzauthors.com/bookstore/
*Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/1520535767/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_SHPjDbK0NJZ5Q
*Carmichael's Bookstore: https://www.carmichaelsbookstore.com/book/9781520535760
*Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/17063133.Anne_F_Balcom
*Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBlueVelvetDrapeDealingWithDementia/?ref=bookmarks
*Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dealingwithdementiablog/
*Twitter: https://twitter.com/Dementiasucks07

Hello readers and caregivers. Did you know that June is Alzheimer’s and Brain Awareness Month?  I am (along with AlzAuthors) recognizing this effort by putting on a book sale. At the Amazon website my paperback book will be on sale from June 21-27 for a more than 20% discount of $10.95 (a $3 savings). The ebook version will be half price at $2.99! 
To order my book in either version please click the Amazon link below or through the “bookstore” at AlzAuthors.com. In addition to my book please consider looking through the other beautiful books in the AlzAuthors.com bookstore.  AMAZON:  The Blue Velvet Drape: Dealing with Dementia: Her Daughter's Journal https://www.amazon.com/…/1520535767/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_ip…Please share the news of June being Alzheimer's Awareness Month! Feel free to share this post or make your own.  A review of my book and all books on Amazon is always appreciated. 
#EndAlz #dementiacare #AlzAuthors

Sunday May 12, 2019

It's Mother's Day today.  The weather is gray, gloomy, a bit misty and drizzly, temp is 57 degrees.  It doesn't feel much like a Mother's Day should.  On top of that my husband is sick, my daughter has to work, and my son is spending the remainder of the day with his girlfriend.  My husband did a wonderful job at making me feel special and important under the circumstances of not feeling well.  He got up, made a big pot of coffee, cinnamon rolls and made sure I awoke to pretty spring flowers and a card.  I'm very lucky.  My kids also gave me a nice card and made sure I knew they loved me and even gave me a shout out via social media.  I love them all so much.

Mom is on my mind all day every Mother's Day which I'm sure is the case for anyone who no longer has their mother.  Growing up I don't remember ever really doing anything special for Mom on Mother's Day.  Only as an adult do I recall paying special attention to either one of my parents on Mother's or Father's Day and I can't think of two people who were more deserving special attention on those days more than my mom and dad.  I sure do wish I could spend more time with both of my parents and not because I didn't spend much time with them when they were alive.  I'm sure there were times where they probably wished I would leave them alone...ha!  As an adult I enjoyed spending time with them.

I'm dedicating this post to all mom's who do so much for the ones they love.  My mom never stopped being a mom even though she wasn't able to be the mom she wanted to be.  Always loving, supportive no matter what, reliable, a wonderful mentor, smart, pretty, polite, funny, fun, adventurous, loved to travel especially to the beach, strict when she needed to be, a hippie, fair (even though I didn't always think so when I was younger), a "teacher", an excellent cook but couldn't make Jell-o to save her life, young at heart always, very strong in every way, and full of willpower.

Here are a few special moments with Mom and other special people.

11/7/18 discount UPDATE BELOW:  Did you know that November is National Caregiver Appreciation Month?  Well, neither did I until I became associated AlzAuthors.  #AlzAuthors is a wonderful group of current and former caregivers who have written about their caregiving experiences to help others.

To celebrate all caregivers of loved ones who have Alzheimer's or dementia I, along with many other AlzAuthors, will be putting our books on sale from November 7-13 (my e-book for Kindle will be on sale from Nov 13-19. For some reason Amazon will not let me use the 7th-13th for my sale).  To take advantage of purchasing my book along with other books by current and former caregivers please visit www.alzauthors.com and click on the BOOKSTORE tab.  Click on the thumbnail of the books you want to purchase and you will be redirected to the site.

My book will be on sale for $10.74 paperback (the lowest price allowed. I tried the $6.95 price point and Amazon wouldn't allow that price - I'm new at this and so sorry) Nov 7-13 / $2.99 Kindle Nov 13-19.
Once read a review would be most appreciated.
The direct link to my book on Amazon is: (if clicking this link doesn't take you to the Amazon site please copy and paste it to your web browser) http://a.co/d/akoP01r