Brian Asman's Blog

Thanks so much to everyone who signed up over the weekend! For both new and existing subscribers, I’m going to be doing periodic giveaways of books and Amazon gift cards as a thank you for putting up with me. I’ll also be hooking you up with some exclusive short stories here and there, time provided. I think I’ve written close to 100 over the last few years. Make sure you stay subscribed so you don’t miss out on the fun.

Just a reminder, my debut novel Good Dogs comes out from Blackstone exactly 6 months from today in paperback, audio, and ebook. It’s a slasher novel with monsters. When a group of werewolves head to an abandoned ghost town to wolf out in peace, a mysterious killer starts picking them off one by one. It’s kind of like Friday the 13th meets The Howling. You can check out the stunningly gorgeous cover over on my Twitter and preorder from Amazon or Bookshop, or call your local indie bookstore and DEMAND they stock my books.

Over on BookFunnel, I’m part of a new promotion, you can download close to 100 horror/thriller ebooks absolutely free! Click here.

It’s been a pretty exciting week for me. I got the go-ahead from Blackstone to reveal the cover for my upcoming novel GOOD DOGS, a slashery werewolf story. Here it is, a damn fine looking cover if I do say so myself:

So what’s it about?

“The debut novel from viral horror sensation Brian Asman, Good Dogs is a heartfelt and harrowing story of survival, belonging, found family, and the lengths we'll go to protect it.

No one ever said being a werewolf was easy. Take Delia, for instance. She's spent much of her life fighting against her own nature, plagued by nightmares of childhood trauma, and trying to find her place in the world. Many werewolves are just like her: ostracized by their families, forced to live alone and in secret as they await those nights when the Change overtakes them.

Becoming the den mother to an odd bunch of lycanthropes in Southern California isn't exactly the answer Delia was looking for. But under the strict rules of the house, they are able to manage the Change safely, and hunt without endangering their San Diego suburb. And they aren't lone wolves anymore, they're a pack--a family.

But when one member's carelessness leads to the discovery of a severed leg in their backyard, Delia and the rest of her family are forced to confront the cold, hard fact they've known all along--they don't belong here. Their only option is to cover up the kill and head into the wilderness, far from people. There, hopefully, they can live out their lives without posing a threat to anyone else.

At home, they might've been apex predators. But in the wilds around Talbot--a town abandoned for a century--Delia and her pack aren't the only ones with a savage bite ...”

GOOD DOGS is out October 1st from Blackstone Publishing in paperback, ebook, and audio. You can preorder it here.

Also, had a story in the new anthology EVIL LITTLE FUCKS, which you should definitely check out because it’s got a bunch of great writers like Jeff Strand and Rebecca Rowland. My story, “Beware the Hurlyburly,” is a Slenderman-inspired short about what happens when the line between fantasy and reality becomes mixed up for two middle schoolers. You can order yours here.

Finally, if you like free books (and who doesn’t?), go check out the latest promo over on Bookfunnel, Killer Thrillers. Lots of cool horror, mystery and thriller books, including one of mine.

Upcoming Events

I’ve got a couple appearances booked this year, all in San Diego for the time being, but keep your eye out for the fall. I’m hoping to hit the Midwest and East Coast in support of my upcoming novel GOOD DOGS (out October 1st from Blackstone).

March 16th, 7pm t o 9pm — Nuclear Comics, North Park, San Diego

April 20th, time TBD — Now or Never Comics, East Village, San Diego

May 11th, 12-6pm — San Diego Fright Mart, Mission Valley, San Diego

StokerCon 2024 — May 30th - June 2nd, Mission Valley, San Diego

Free Ebooks!

I just signed up for BookFunnel, and there’s a lot of cool books you can get there for free. Check out these awesome reads:

Paranormal Page Turners

Get a copy of my collection NEO ARCANA, plus books from Ian Backhouse, Erica Summers, D. Ann Hall, and more!

The Final Scene by Steph Nelson

The cabin is unlocked, but there's no escape.

When Brooke was kidnapped on her way home from work, she thought her life was over.

That was ten years ago.

She’s been held captive in an isolated cabin on the Oregon coast ever since, scrambling to follow her kidnappers’ twisted instructions to the letter. Because the price of a mistake is death.

But when a new victim shows up, everything changes. Including the rules. And this time, the only way to survive is to break them.

Excited to announce my short story “Twilight of the Vitaphage” is in Forbidden Futures #12. If you’re not familiar, FF is a really cool, glossy pulp mag with amazing art.

”Twilight” was really fun to write, because it let me step outside my comfort zone a bit. The theme of this issue of FF is Conan-inspired sword and sorcery tales, a genre I grew up reading but haven’t written as an adult. There’s a bunch of fun stories in the issue from contemporary writers like Cody Goodfellow and a classic tale from Robert E. Howard. Check it out today!

Because it’s the holiday season, I’m feeling kind of generous AND trying to score some last-minute points with the big guy in the red suit*, so for a LIMITED TIME, you can score signed copies of my novellas RETURN OF THE LIVING ELVES and OUR BLACK HEARTS BEAT AS ONE for the low, low price of $15!

In ELVES, a mild-mannered Christmas decoration warehouse manager and his even milder-mannered Juggalo trainee unleash a very seasonal and sidesplittingly hysterical zombie outbreak. The holidays will never be the same again!

And in OUR BLACK HEARTS, an up-and-coming rock star gets unceremoniously dumped by his girlfriend and embarks on a strange journey into the city’s occult underbelly in a desperate effort to salve his pain. With Valentine’s Day coming up, this is the perfect gift for the sad emo kid in your life.

Get your copies here .

*Local loanshark Nicky Kringelli, I owe him like $4K

Exclusively on Godless!

Set after the events of Brian Asman's 2021 action comedy novella Nunchuck City, the raucous new novelette Beach Bodies finds fan-favorite idiot Chad Boner, Turbo City's Chief Bikini Inspector, hot on the trail of a deadly black market breast implant ring. Luckily, Chad's got local clown Patches is his corner. Can the duo crack the case, fuck up the bad guys, and get the deposit back on their tandem bike? Find out in Beach Bodies! 

With cover art by the amazing Marc Vuletich and layouts by the equally-amazing Lori Michelle, you won’t want to miss this one!

"I could not keep my shit together, so I had to stop. I will try again later today. I got to the first penis and it was all over" --Crystal Cook

Click HERE to grab a copy today!

“This Yuletide-themed homage to one of the greatest zombie films ever made is a rollicking good time. Brian Asman delivers laughs and gory thrills galore in a book sure to put you in the holiday spirit–if you don’t get disemboweled first. Eat the fruitcake and take the ride.” –Bryan Smith, author of 68 Kill

It's finally here! Today marks the true start of the holiday season, the release of my Yuletide cashg-grab horror comedy RETURN OF THE LIVING ELVES. When a mild-mannered warehouse supervisor and his Juggalo trainee crack open the wrong crate in the basement of the Whosgotta Christmas Supply Warehouse, the tiny town of Pine Canyon is suddenly overrun with zombies, led by one bloodthirsty and genetically-engineered elf!

You should really go buy like 15 copies right now (this Faberge egg egg-diction isn't going to pay for itself). It's available in paperback and ebook at the moment, with a hardcover on the way!

Paperback

Ebook

Now, you might be wondering whether this is a ripoff homage to the classic film THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, and yes, you are correct! Like many of my books, the title popped into my head first. Then I realized this would give me the chance to watch one of my all-time favorite movies on repeat in the guise of "research" so, if you'll pardon the pun, it was a bit of a no-brainer. GET IT???

Sorry, I used up all my good zombie jokes in the actual book. But seriously, as a horror writer, I'm always standing on the shoulder of giants, and one of the things I like to do with my work is acknowledge those who've come before, who've given us kickass stories full of horror and heart. For that reason, I've dedicated RETURN OF THE LIVING ELVES to Dan O'Bannon: "Dan--if you ever come back to life as a trioxin-animated corpse, I hope you'll do me the honor of eating my brain first."

If this book gives you even a smidgeon of the pleasure RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD has given me over the years, I'll consider it a success. Enjoy!

From the author of Man, Fuck This House comes the brand-new novella Return of the Living Elves! It’s a horror comedy inspired by a certain very popular zombie film from the ‘80s, along with my desire to cash in on the holidays. It comes out November 29th and makes for the perfect gift, if I do say so myself.

When Christmas supply warehouse manager Jimmy tries to help new employee Tommy find a last-minute gift for his girlfriend, they accidentally unleash a long-forgotten and very seasonal genetic experiment with a taste for human flesh. As elf-zombie hybrids take over the small town of Pine Canyon, California, Jimmy fights to survive alongside Tommy's girlfriend, a Christpunk named Landfill, and a mysterious, PTSD-stricken soldier.

Watch the video here

Preorder the ebook now!

Preorder the paperback now!

I am beyond thrilled to announce that my weird haunted house novella MAN, FUCK THIS HOUSE is on the Bram Stoker Awards Preliminary Ballot for Superior Achievement in Long Fiction. There’s a whole lot of indie fiction on there, too—think I counted three self-pubbed books in my category alone, plus great small presses like weird punk. I’m obviously over the moon to see my own book on there, but the way that the Stokers are recognizing indie/self-pub fiction and the amazing things people are doing to push the genre forward?

Incredible.

If you are an Active or Lifetime Member of the Horror Writers Association and would like an ebook copy of MAN, FUCK THIS HOUSE, please message me through the “Contact” option above or email me at brianasman0@gmail.com.

Also, I had the honor of appearing on the Visited by Voices show recently. It was a super fun discussion, and I revealed a couple bits of trivia about the genesis of MFTH I’ve never talked about before. You can watch the show here.

The other day on Twitter, I had what passes for a brainstorm—the PERFECT promotion for my new haunted house novella, MAN, FUCK THIS HOUSE (out now from Mutated Media and available in paperback/ebook!).

I should give away a haunted house.

Yes, you read that correctly. I’m planning to find a house for sale that the owners think is haunted, buy it, and give it away, which is actually a thing you can do. With one little caveat.

I need to sell one million copies of MAN, FUCK THIS HOUSE (cue Dr. Evil-pinkie-to-lip pose).

Now, is that a ridiculous number? Of course! But giving away an actual haunted house is a very ridiculous idea, and it’s not going to happen without some ridiculous sales. I’ve also got some step goals for various milestones along the way (100k, 250k, etc.—hell, if I can sell 10k copies I’ll do something very fucking cool).

This contest is also going to be good for my entire lifetime, so it’s not like the book needs to sell a million copies in the next month or something stupid. If it sells its millionth copy twenty years from now—and I’m sure anyone who knows me is raising an eyebrow at the prospect of me being alive in twenty years—then BAM, haunted house giveaway starts immediately.

I’m not naive, the chances of a little indie book selling like that are miniscule. But not impossible, and not unprecedented, either. You know the old saying, you can’t win if you don’t play. That applies equally to sports, gambling, AND haunted houses.

So, fuck it. IT’S GO TIME.