Mauro Lacovich's Blog: EKALLIM

There was a chat with me, as an author, on the Kvaka association's facebook page, so I translated it into English:

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What are your role models in writing, and what do you personally like to read? Which genre and which authors?

Marquis de Sade. Richard Bach and Edward B. Lytton are my role models in writing.

Most of all, I read Milton H. Erickson, over and over, he had a lot of influence on me.

About genres... It's hard for me to say,
because I don't divide books by type, but I like books that describe people's lives, something like Skylight by J. Saramago.

Recently, I discovered that I like SF; I like H.P. Lovecraft very much. Mostly, I read stories and fairy tales, and also collects them. I especially love Arabic stories and fairy tales; the strange songs of Pu Songling one of my favorite collections. I read a lot of esoteric and occult books.

What about local authors?

I don't even pay attention to whether the author is domestic or foreign. Unfortunately, people avoid domestic authors, many have told me that they do not even know why, but it really does not play a role to me. I'm lucky because my name and last name are not domestic (sounds foreign).

You have an interesting biography behind you. Tell us, how did you decide on psychology?

It's quite a story. I was writing graduation work with my cousin. That is, I was helping her write and edit it graphically (in December 1998), and the idea came to me that I could go to college too. I tell my mom that, and she replied that I could go to psychology. Just like that, and I liked the idea.

There were some rumors that there will be possibilities to go to colleges with a three-year high school, so I was counting on that.

That wasn't realized, so I decided to study for an art teacher (which I could do with a three-year high school). From my childhood, people predicted that I'll be an artist.

However, the doctor did not give me permission for that college because of my stuttering, so (after she called a psychiatrist to take me over because I didn't understand what the problem with my stuttering was) I went to enroll for a four-year high school retraining, and completed it within the first term and enrolled in psychology same year.

Congratulations! This, with stuttering, confuses us. What does this have to do with a college for an art teacher? How did you feel inside such a melodrama?

I never understood the attitude of that doctor, as well as many of her colleagues.

Many times I have taught at schools and at various events, and people were commenting that despite my stuttering, I'm a better lecturer than most.

There is an anecdote which is happened at a school where the teacher, whose class I was visiting, warned me that my stuttering would bother children, and they will tease me, so I should be prepared. And in the end, no one reacted on my stuttering. Still, they asked if I can come lecture instead of their teacher because it's was exciting, and they really learned something.

So, till now I don't understand that doctor.

And how I felt... I have no idea, I couldn't go to study for art teacher, and I went through psychology. I just didn't bother with it, aware that there was no use for it. After all, many of my clients said they are thankful to that doctor because without her, I would not be what I am today.

Do you think there are is a lot of people who have been withheld in some way for desirable education because of the misbehaviour of the institutions, i.e. those who represent it? And as a psychologist and psychotherapist, what would you advise the withheld?

Yes! And I have nothing to advise the "withheld" because they are not aware that they have been withheld. As a society and individuals, we have been taught to unconditionally accept the views and opinions of experts as absolute truths.

This is your view of today's society, and do you think that it could change? Ever?

There are many examples that I can write about in this regard. For more than 10 years, I have been volunteering with people with a different type of disabilities, and I see the most injustices there. They, as well as their families, accept the absolute truths proposed by some experts and live those given identities.

With work, all that could be changed and achieved a lot. Everyone can discover the abilities and skills that someone has designated that they will never be able to.

We must keep in mind that the brain is plastic and that through experience, it can change in endless directions.

That could be changed, once, in a very distant future. For such changes, different profiles of experts must come out of their own boxes made of theories in which they have found security and become brave (or crazy) researchers of what is considered impossible.

To take an example. Abstract thinking is something that is dysfunctional at people with cerebral palsy. Through working with them and using stories, significant progress has been made throughout the group in the same as well as in cognitive abilities. That is something of what particular attention should be focused on. Laura Grubisic and Dusica Kailer can testify to what changes have taken place in my group with whos I was working.

How did readers react to your first book?

I published the first novel by myself because the publishers to whom I sent it did not respond and only sold it to friends and acquaintances. Within a few months, the info about the book spread it, and people started to buy it from the publisher. Soon, unknown people started stopping me on the road, sending emails or messages on the facebook with the question "What happend next?" or when the sequel will be out. It was a sign that I had obviously done something good, despite my view that the book was not really worth and I had issued it primarily because friends persuaded me to do so.

When do you expect the sequel to be released and through which publisher?

Naklada Uliks, the sequel, is in the publishing process. I get inquiries regularly about that, so I learned that when I finish the third sequel, I won't tell anyone so I can have peace.

Your novel EKALLIM can be purchased at Znanje Bookstores. Can you tell us more about it? About it's way to a publisher?

EKALLIM has an interesting history. I read the fairy tale "Ledendvor" (Iceourt or Icepalace) by A. Gardaš. It's a story about a boy who strays into the woods and comes across Ledendvor where people are imprisoned. The butcher who cheated on people has pigs' hooves and has to cut in infinitely; the evil stepmother (have yoz ever notices how word "stepmother" got a negative connotation because of the fairy tales?) that must have comb stepdaughter, etc.

That fairy tale delighted me, but I lacked dialogue between the characters, so I decided to write a similar fairy tale for adults, with a little more dialogues. I set myself a limit of 15 pages. I started writing and wrote 480 pages of EKALLIM.

EKALLIM found it's way to publishers after Petra Kapovic Vidmar and I wrote "7 Travels - Therapeutic Stories for Children", published by the "Naklada Uliks", after what they show interest in publishing EKALLIM.

One specific question: about children/people with epilepsy who cannot develop intellectually because of it, can there be any progress through the stories you tell?

Epilepsy is a complex phenomenon because it has many types. One interesting fact - people don't know that St. Paul the Apostle suffered from epilepsy, which resulted in him speaking many languages; the same is with St. Hildegard of Bingen.

Epilepsy, as far as I know, is not related to intellectual development, but it can be threatened in many ways. However, it basically belongs to medicine, which is not my profession. I have no personal experience in dealing with that type of problems.

Can you explain this definition a little more smoothly? What is this really about, in practice?

>"The cybernetics of psychotherapy is the science of circularity and understanding of one's own epistemology (the science of cognition, knowledge) as a template for a dialogical practice aimed at change."

Cybernetics is the science of controling and function - of everything: the human body, the clock, the family, the company, the bloodstream... These are all systems that function and can be controlled.

The term is derived from the Greek word kybernetes meaning to helm - the helm manages the ship to influence it, and the helmsman receives feedback on where the ship is going.

The confusion about the word that people associate with robotics is due to the writer who used it in some SF novel (can't remember the name) and has people started to associate the term with these topics. Circularity is important in this story because there are First and Second-order cybernetics.

First-order Cybernetics is linearity - that's mean that A affects B. Nothing more.

Second-order Cybernetics is circularity - that means that A affects B and B then affects A, etc.

In terms of psychotherapy, this would be:

Linearity - The therapist knows everything about the client. The client has depression issues because mom didn't like him as a kid, and that's it. The absolute truth that the client has to accept without discussion.

Circularity - The therapist and client exchange ideas and learn together. The therapist changes his/her understanding of the client and his/her problems so that he/she gets to know and learn from the client, while at the same time the client learns from the therapist. So there is no objective truth, but they both learn from each other and develop themselves.

Such developments and changes lead to changes in the understanding of oneself (one's own epistemology), one's problems, situations, challenges, and ultimately lead to changes in one's life.

This is why dialogic practice is mentioned because the dialogue is the exchange of ideas (between the therapist and the client) that results in changes in understanding and understanding (self, environment, world).

I'm reading everything, you explained very well. Good job!

I'm glad, but those who taught me, and should be competent for this, think I'm not competent in cybernetics or psychotherapy. But that is one story that is just about to get its place in history... Stay tuned!

Are there any hypnotherapists in Croatia? And in what cases is hypnosis appropriate in therapy (if administered at all)?

This is a complex topic, but what follows is my understanding. There are many hypnotherapists in Croatia, and many of them finished (literally!) online course. I also received an online course offer, after which I even could get a paper certificate.

Hypnosis is just a context for psychotherapy, it is not a technique, tool, method, and at least a magic wand as it is often experienced as a result of Hollywood interpretations. And therefore, hypnotherapy should be viewed as psychotherapy; as a dialogue between two unconscious minds.

Hypnotherapy offers many possibilities, i.e., broadens the boundaries of psychotherapy. One can work on extremely painful experiences in a completely comfortable context without engaging the conscious mind or consciously dealing with a sensitive topic.

Stories are good material for hypnotherapy because they are good for creating the context in which the client's unconscious mind can find what the client needs. It has happened to me many times that clients have heard many details and actions from the story I did not mention. Such a context gives the client the opportunity to hear (experience) exactly what is important and necessary for him.

Here is excellent amateur documentary about hypnosis made by Kristina Sonnabend and Valentina Butkovic, while they was studying psychology:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4jlr...

So, there is no trance? So people are extracting some details from the subconscious that they were unaware of until some unrelated context reminded them. It's like in crime scenes.

Trans is a daily normal human condition. The state of trance is when we do something, walk somewhere, drive, and we don't remember it. Or someone is talking to us while we absent-minded watching him and hear nothing. It's a state when all our attention is directed to ourselves,, free from the environment. And that state is exactly what we recognize as hypnotic trance.

Clients don't necessarily need to pull out the details, they can only work to heal emotions. The body often remembers emotions, some emotional experiences, but without the "accompanying context" of how they were created. We also can create a context for a person to separate thoughts and emotions about an event, so deal only with emotions separately and process the cognition separately without emotions that otherwise interfere with it.

Your opinion of the impact of modern technology on publishing. Does the print edition seem like the end?

Uf, tough question. Kindle has personally saved me for many things, especially reading academic papers, because I save printing paper as well on traveling. But from some of my impressions, there are still people who love writing and the smell of books. But in the future, I'm sure there will be generational changes, and everything will become digital.

When students were used board and chalk at school, it was impossible for anyone to imagine that paper notebooks would take that place once. Some changes happen in every generation, and they are inevitable, no matter that our "kinds of stuff" are better for us.

How will the collapse of the system we are witnessing these days (Corona) affect the publication and promotion of announced releases?

I am an optimist, so I believe in the ratio that exists in all people (deeply buried, at many of them) and that despite the challenges, they will be able to continue with their lives, obligations, and jobs. Like in SF or disaster movies when people unite at the end and go on living despite the circumstances.

When do you expect that happy end?

Honestly, tonight is when I fall asleep and start dreaming.

Class optimist?

And maybe some good book material?

With a happy end or for a handkerchief pack?

Both at same time.

Do you think that local authors should support each other, and how?

I'm trying to do that. When I can, I buy books from domestic authors, especially their first books. I purchased many books only with the motive to support them and help new authors.

And how to support each other... It might not be bad for them to network a little, through groups on Facebook, organize joint promotions, presentations, various activities (eg, for children to meet writers?).

Let's go out from classic book promotions, paying for commercials on Facebook, or just sharing posts about our own books ... It has to come out in new ways.

Because let's be real, people don't read much, don't buy books, and we traumatize children with obligatory reading books in school.

Book groups, like book bloggers, rarely or in no way promote or discuss books that are not real or fictional bestsellers. It is almost certain that such posts will go unnoticed. In your opinion, what is the best way to promote non-established authors? Do publishers do anything about it? Do you think bloggers are the best promoters (because they seem to be), and have you had any collaboration with some of them?

Yes, unfortunately, fresh authors hardly get attention. I started with self-publishing, and the reputation developed on its own with the book. Although I didn't advertise it anywhere.

But yes, bloggers are a good way to go. Although I must admit, this is an area in which I don't have much experience. At my begining, I sent a few books to bloggers, but they just picked up a free book and never wrote anything about it. I believe that over the years, that has changed and that quality bloggers and pages can now be found.

Gordana Malancuk wrote a very good review of my fist book. When sequel comes out she will immediately receive a copy for a review.

For her at least I know she will not use me as those I mentioned earlier.

And publishers are probably trying to get their authors been recognized, although I always wonder how publishers survive in Croatia.

One of the good ways would be to publish a teaser - the beginning of a book. The first or first couple of chapters so people can "taste" it.

But there is another important problem with "fresh" authors. I hear that from publishers also. Newbies consider their work to be in the nomination for a Nobel Prize, so they don't allow editing, ideas, suggestions ... And then they get angry, drama.
I had an experience when people sent me their books for opinion, and I have to say right away that I do not consider myself competent to judge whether a book is good or not, just to express my experience of it, but I have had crazy situations where I pointed out to people illogical or factual mistakes about things that fall under my profession (psychology and psychotherapy), and then I got insulted and aggressive outbursts. Ego and vanity are dangerous companions for writers.

Which books or writers you consider inappropriate to read in school? Which ones would you throw out and which ones would you add?

I don't think that there are inappropriate writers, but that there are only inappropriate parents and pedagogues.

We stumble upon the sexual details in the books while, at the same time, we are neglecting that children know about sexuality much more than many adults, since they are educated by the internet. I don't know what is the current situation with writers allowed to read in school, but I don't want to take a right to judge what someone should read, because it's absolutely contrary to my nature and worldview.

Obligatory reading of books in school needs a hermeneutic approach. I think that literally everything should be allowed to read and that children should come forward with their ideas what they want to read, be ready to discuss what they want and why they want that book.

There is a need to reduce the objective understanding of the book and what the writer wanted to say because some experts concluded that they know that and put their understanding as objective truth.

One real, serious, male question: When do we first meet in the living for a drink - beer or wine?

Wine, Cabernet Sauvignon

Mauro Lacovich

There is a boat that floats in the endless sea and stands in many ports. Some ports are beautiful and fun, and some ugly and full of bad things.
With our birth, we are embarked on that boat, naively thinking that all people on this boat will travel with us until the end of our journey, ignoring the fact that these others are actually on their voyage and not on board for us.

At one point, we begin to realize that some people leave the ship when we least expect it, and that even some of them do not even announce their departure, leaving us alone, abandoned, and unprepared for the rest of the journey. But that boat is sailing further, independent of our wishes and desires.

And every time wren this boat stops in a port, with the people who disembark, there are also people who embark. We'll see some of them for a moment, even though they will be on board for a long time, some of them will disembark fast, and some of them will stay on that ship even when we disembark. At this point, we do not know who will go when, and for many will remain so.

There will be a variety of people on that boat. There will be those who will be sad for the whole journey, will be those who do not like the sea, and even those who will spend days in the party and celebration. There will be those who will look at us from a distance by holding us in our minds, and some will be disturbed by our presence on that ship. Many of them will be sad when we disembark from that ship, and the rest of their travel will reflect on why they did not socialize with us, while others would enjoy the memories they have created with us.

And once we disembark from that ship, many of us will think about this trip. About all the ports we have not looked at, about all the people we did not talk about, about all the beautiful sunsets that we slept over and singing birds that we didn't listen to.

But return will not be.

The ship will sail further, and we will only be able to see it from the port where we disembark. The ship will go it's way, as well as our life which is exactly like that — overflowing with goodbyes, imagination, hopes, and moments that will not be repeated, an opportunity that will not be returned. The only thing we can do is wait for the next ship to lead us to new ports and meet new people with which we will have the opportunity to make up for the missed on the last ship.

Mauro Lacovich

It was once upon a time on a support group of people with cerebral palsy that I lead. I came up with a book of fables and the idea that we could read fables and discuss them. Very soon, my plan failed. No one understood the fables. Later I find out that people with cerebral palsy had no developed abstract thinking because of their diagnosis and that it was invariable. I said: "That is bullshit!"

So, I asked various experts about the abstract thinking problem and people with CP, but everyone confirmed to me what I already knew. Consequently, I had no choice but to prove my idea that brain plasticity is still beyond those theories.

I began to read and tell different stories in the group, sometimes planned, sometimes spontaneously, sometimes in the context of hypnosis, and sometimes with the sound of a piano. That way, I was learning which stories provoke reactions, discussions, and ideas.

Many changes have taken place, but the case of one member best describes the core of them.

As an adult, she went to school to learn to read and write, and after one day at school, she was able to retell the story for the first time. It was the story of Hansel and Gretel. Her version was like this: "Hansel and witch went into the forest. They ate the stepmother and threw Gretel along the way."

Two years later, when I forgot the notes about the story we were making on the group, the same member offered to help me remember.

She said: "We talked about the story of a boy who has problems at school and goes to a psychologist, so I thought a little about the story and concluded it would be good if he is gay. That is because we, the disabled people, who are victims of prejudice, often have our prejudices and need to learn to work on it. It would also be a good idea to go to a lousy psychologist first so that people learn that not all experts good, etc.

I believe that is enough :)

But while our (not mine, but our!) success in the group has become known, one crucial element is not recognized enough. Why did we have to deal with this problem at all? Isn't this example of the danger of the categories in which we put people based on their diagnoses, thus giving them the identities that they accept? How many parents didn't try to go beyond borders because some expert said to them there is no sense? How many children with disabilities have not tried something because they have implanted identity that they can't do or achieve that?
That is something to think about, and then there will be no stories like this.

P.S.
The stories that we wrote on the group will soon be published in the book.