Peyton Landry's Blog

Here is the author interview I took part in this week. It was a great experience and it’s fun to be able to share with readers a little more about myself and my work in this manor. Another great read. lol Enjoy!! Hugs!!

https://authorsinterviews.wordpress.com/2019/07/11/here-is-my-interview-with-peyton-landry-2/

As a romance writer, today, Valentine’s Day, is a day of worship and reverie. Everything I write has its origins in the emotion expressed most often today—LOVE.

Although love takes many shapes and forms and comes from a different place for everyone, the underlying meaning is the same… we sense a deep connection to someone that is unlike anything else we feel.

We can have that deep connection with family members and close friends, but on Valentine’s Day, the love most focused on is the love connection we have with an intimate partner. However, that intimacy isn’t always derived from a sexual spark or a physical connection. For some people, that deeper connection with an individual has grown from a mental awareness and familiarity, as well as a feeling of personal safety. As I said, love takes many forms and looks different for everyone.

Since love is different for everyone, the way Valentine’s Day is celebrated varies just as greatly, and the way we express our love is just as divers.

Chocolate and flowers are a standard go-to. Romantic dinners can be a highlight, with your attention solely on the person you love, and in return, they are focused solely on you. Some look for the wild and unexpected gift, like a weekend getaway or a concert for your loves favourite band. Some people choose to stay in, again, sharing quiet—or not so quiet—moments with that special person.

Whether it is planned ahead of time or on a whim, the meaning is the same. Whether your significant other knows about the plan or it is a surprise, the gesture is made to mean something and give that person the special place in your life you feel they deserve.

But really, Valentine’s Day is all about the enthusiasm you have for sharing your life, the good and bad, with someone who will catch you and support you, and who makes each and everyday a better day to be alive, and that is worth all the chocolate, flowers, wine, dinners, movies, and cozy fires in the world.

Today especially, but everyday, be good to those who love you, and embrace the love that is returned to you. It’s what makes for a good romance and an even greater fairy tale.

 

Hug and kisses!

Recently, I had the privilege and pleasure to attend an academic romance writers conference at Bowling Green State University in Ohio, hosted by the university’s department of Pop Culture and Romance Studies. I could give you the academic version of what this program consists of, but to keep it quick and simple, it’s an area of study which looks at romance literature – past and present – as well as trends and ideology in pop culture – and side note, BGSU has one of the largest and most inclusive Pop Culture collections in the United States. We had the privilege to tour it, and I have to say that it was beyond impressive.

The presenters at the conference offered a plethora (haha, big word because I’ve now been to university) of knowledge and various studies of romance literature. But what thrilled me the most, was the inclusion of the topic of m/m romances.

I couldn’t believe my luck when I saw the schedule for the weekend, and while only a small segment of the conference had anything to do with LGBTQ literature, I jumped at the chance to experience some academia surrounding something that I love writing – romance.

But damn, I didn’t know what I was in for…

The two presentations offered in the LGBTQ realm were from highly educated men, one, a Canadian professor from Manitoba – which electrified the Canuck in me - and the other was a student from BGSU. (I believe a fourth year.)

The first presentation was entitled:  Fantasies of Masculinity in Male/Male Popular Romance.

Here’s the official rundown taken from the conference’s website of what this gentleman was speaking about/to and presenting. (If you don’t want to be sucked into something deep, skip reading)

(Abstract—In her book, Hard-Core Romance: Fifty Shades of Grey, Best-Sellers, and Society, Eva Illouz asks: “why is traditional masculinity pleasurable in fantasy?” (58) To answer this question, I focus on the rise of the male/male popular romance novel, and think through why these novels are pleasurable. To these ends, I draw on Lucy Neville’s work on gay pornography, which she argues “subverts the patriarchal order by challenging masculinist values, providing a protected space for non-conformist, non-reproductive, non-familiar sexuality, and encourages many sex-positive values” (204). While this may be true of gay pornography, can we say the same is true of the male/male popular romance? Does the male/male popular romance novel really subvert the “patriarchal order”? Does it provide a space that “encourages many sex-positive values”? As such, this paper attends to a close reading of texts alongside theoretical work coming out of queer theory and the critical study of men and masculinities. Ultimately, I argue that the male/male popular romance novel remains an important site of analysis for studies of masculinity, but that, at bottom, we are still left with “traditional masculinity” as noted by Illouz, and, in many ways, the “profoundly bourgeois" (207) values central to the romance narrative that Pamela Regis noted in A Natural History of the Romance Novel. As such, I argue that these novels are not as subversive as we might hope for.

Works Cited - Illouz, Eva. Hard-Core Romance: Fifty Shades of Grey, Best-Sellers, and Society. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2014.

Neville, Lucy. “Male gays in the female gaze: women who watch m/m pornography.” Porn Studies 2.2-3 (2015): 192-207.

Regis, Pamela. A Natural History of the Romance Novel. Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2003.)

 

Wow, heavy reading, right?

Okay, so after all that, what did I learn? I learned a lot about how male masculinity is portrayed in literature and what it means in the broader sense, but other more general points made in the presentation made my skin bristle.

As the professor got further and further into this study, my cheeks got hotter and hotter, and it had nothing to do with the naked men pressed together in his steamy PowerPoint presentation – Haha, PowerPoint, get it? LMAO.

Anyway, basically, he was bringing up the argument that gay romances, specifically m/m, are porn, written on a page for women.

First some fast facts:

      Biggest readers of m/m erotic romances are educated white women over the age of 35, married with children and middle-class      Biggest writers of m/m erotic romance are educated white women over the age of 35, married with children and middle-class      Books written specifically for gay men can differ slightly from what is generally marketed as m/m romance today      LGBTQ and m/m are the fastest expanding genres, seeing growth in readership larger than ever experienced in publishing to date.

So here is the first prickly point in this presentation for me – m/m is women producing gay smut for the enjoyment of other women.

I don’t believe this for one minute. While most of the material in this genre is produced by women, and the readership is majority women, gay men write in this genre as well, and I know many who do. And often, a reader wouldn’t be able to find a difference in the material produced by a male or female if the author’s name was removed from the cover.

Second prickly point for me – what writers (me) produce, is not enjoyed by, intended for, or interesting to gay men.

I have gay men who have beta read for me through the process of editing my novels, and I’ve had no complaints and they have found enjoyment, even with the m/f blended in there. And while many gay men do not read romance, just the same as many straight men don’t, the ones who do, must read material produced by women, because, as the professor pointed out, most of the bloody stuff on the bookshelves is produced by women.

Third prickly point to me – I’m producing porn.

What the heck? If that was the ultimate purpose behind what I write, I’d slap myself. What I strive to write is a realistic view of the world, love, and relationships. I try to send a powerful message with every book, and it is always more than, ‘slippery parts are a good thing.’

I consider what I produce to be classy but steamy. I work hard to get the relationships right, not just for the reader but for the character’s too, and anyone can write wham-bam-thank-you-ma’ma. Which is what most porn is.

If I could write that the doorbell rings and the guy at said door is stunning and holding the steaming pizza just ordered by the three hunky men in the house, it would be a hell of a lot easier and quicker, that’s for sure— he dropped the pizza and his shorts, and the response in the room was a positive one… and you know where it goes from there – four smiling faces and a cold, never-touched pizza.

Fourth prickly point for me – When the writer (me) is not a gay male, should the work be in question, both the purpose and the validity?

You have got to be kidding me. Not every writer with a black male for a MC is black. Not every writer who writes YA has/had teenagers or was even a parent. And what about the individuals who write murder mysteries. Do they need to be some kind of closeted serial killer in order to get their novels right? And if it is women writing the majority of novels in the m/m genre, and doing it well, then please note – the genre wouldn’t exist without us!! So you’d have nothing to study with out us!!

Fifth and final prickly point – writers of m/m (me and every other woman writing it) are using/taking advantage of gay men in a sexual nature for our own sexual enjoyment.

Ah, seriously? I’m actually cursing now, because everything I’ve typed above this point has got me hot under the collar, and not in a good way.

In no way am I taking advantage of a marginalize community! And never was that my intent when I picked up a pen! And, if I was, what does that say about writers who handle books containing abused children, missing women, or human trafficking. Are they exploiting horrors when they create their stories? And what does that say about the readers who pick up those books?

Something that might give you pause and a moment of self assessment… and this was a big, big, big problem for me that busted my ear drums… and this was actually said, that when a writer uses the word “pussy,” in a name-calling sense in a m/m romance – one male calling the other a pussy for whatever reason - it is an underlying reference to the perceived weakness of women in modern day society.

What the… hay, hay, hay, stop that, right now, because I have never known a stronger body part than a pussy. The thing it’s capable of spitting out a kid the size of a watermelon and being ready to go again in a matter of weeks!!! There is nothing weak, inadequate, or disgraceful about a pussy or the women possessing them. And there is no shame in throwing like a girl, either. Some girls throw better than my husband, and let’s face it, we are not comparing apples to apples when we say crap like that because women have a different upper body structure that can impact the distance and power of a throw if they haven’t been to the gym recently. And it’s male morons that have a problem with muscular women anyway, so who the heck is placing those labels and stereotypes in.... Oops, off track and carried away, I digress.

Anyway, overall, I adored the conference and what I learned as a romance writer. And although the m/m presentation gave me high blood pressure and got my back up, it wasn’t the only presentation that did, however, it was the one I gave the most thought to, both the points raised as well as why I reacted the way I did.

And this is what I concluded once I spent some time in my own brain:

When I read, I take the book for what it is, learn what I can, and what I’m ultimately looking for is enjoyment and escape. Academics, studiers of literature, do exactly that – they study it, so I believe are incapable of just letting a book be what it is, which is a diversion from real life.I believe, one more positive LGBTQ story is never a bad thing in this world.I’m protective of the genre I write in. I think most of it is because I find same-sex love beautiful, and the writers of it, regardless of orientation or sexual preference deserve to be heard and protected.I find same-sex love has a different kind of power to it than I see in hetero couples. There is a quiet strength, a protectiveness there that makes that connection unique and beautiful and worth embracing. And it makes it worth sharing as well.

One last comment,

I believe I was the only individual at the conference who wrote any form of LGBTQ+ material, and I didn’t come to that conclusion by talking to others at the conference about what they write. It was made clear by the restless bodies during the bold Power Point, the whispers at the tables after the presentation, and the lack of conversation about the material afterwards. And, if anything, that awkwardness calmed me down, made my chest ache, and had me shaking my head, because it shows that us writers and readers of inclusive stories have so many more miles to go before acceptance, and that gay love is still in the closet, and it has nothing to do with the incredible individuals who wear their colours with pride.

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Just a bit of a rant...

Over the last two years, gender-neutral bathrooms have become a big story for the media outlets. From States agreeing to them, then axing them, to people stamping their feet about trans individuals suddenly arriving in the bathroom not designated by birth.

The debate of where someone can relive themselves can be followed to many different origins, but I think the biggest is the issue of society wanting everything to fit into a box. Humans, by nature, require everything to have a label, and everything must have a specific place.

Everything must make sense, and labels do that for us.

Now pause for a second and reflect…

·         How pissed do you become when an item in a store is not marked with a price or labelled properly?

·         How irritating is it when Wal-Mart rearranges their departments and you can’t find the cat litter.

·         How often do you grumble about the silly set up of the grocery store aisles – why would corn syrup be in the baking aisle, while maple syrup and Aunt Jemima are six aisles over with the breakfast cereal?

·         And Costco, OMG, don’t even get me started. They can’t even keep their bananas in the same place week to week.

Let’s face it people, most of us don’t like change, and forget rapid change… our backs come up and we draw a line in the sand quickly.

But think about it.

·         Your city wants to remove a dam and naturalize a river, and the constituents start the letter writing campaigns and petitions.

·         The Board of Education wants a boundary change or changes to busing, and the parents hit the council meetings and present sweeping, emotional arguments against the alterations.

·         The government wants to change one small word in a country’s national anthem and, the place goes nuts, bringing out pitchforks and fire.

People just really, really, really hate change, even if it is for the greater good.

And forget about anything that challenges the idea of heteronormality in our predominantly straight world.

In Canada many years ago, Boy Scouts of Canada changed the all-male leader policy to allow female leaders in their ranks. Men stomped their big hiking boots, but it made no difference, because available leadership was dwindling, and stay at home moms were ready to do something more than laundry and bake. Eventually, the hoopla quieted, and the number of female leaders ranges in the thousands now. And the organization is stronger for having allowed the skirts to pitch a tent and join the campfire.

Years later, Boy Scouts of Canada upset everyone again by changing their all-male youth programs to co-ed. They did it to accommodate the smaller communities in the country who didn’t have a population big enough to support both a Girl Guide pack and a Boy Scout troop. It was met with little fan fair, some major boot stomping this time - because the name of the organization was changing, too - and some nasty letter writing (as nasty as Canadians get, anyway,) but the idea slowly gained ground, and the crowds quieted, and today, Scouts Canada has a solid following and separate tents, but everyone gathers around the same campfire and participates in the same amazing program.

Again, anything that bocks the status quo is a problem for people, but that’s most common when we are not affected negatively by the status quo.

If bacon was outlawed in Canada tomorrow…

·         Flag burning

·         Riots in the streets

·         Letters enough to bury the Big Nickle in Sudbury.

Note: Banning bacon would kill me more than my cholesterol filled arteries already are. Lol

But back to the bathrooms.

We’ve actually had gender-neutral bathrooms for years, and no one has batted an eye. Any one who camps knows there are often Kibos, latts, and Johnny-on-the-spots that have no picture on the door. There is no label. At outdoor rock concerts and festivals, the porta-pottys have no gender signs, no right or wrong place to pee. In many restaurants, public spaces, and stores, there are single bathrooms that everyone uses. So any fight there seems lame and incredibly uninformed at this point.

But most often, a gender-neutral bathroom is separate from the men’s and lady’s bathroom any way, so what’s the big deal? Our mall has five bathrooms – men’s, lady’s, family, accessible, and gender neutral, so again, what’s the big deal?

My kid’s high school has had gender neutral bathrooms for quite a few years now. The kids don’t have a problem with it. And if there is not room for an extra bathroom, then rip the sign off the door, not everything needs a label, and not everything has to fit into a box.

And if only one person is saved from fear or judgment because of a welcome sign on a bathroom door, then that’s enough for me, I’ll use the stall beside them.

Pee in peace, people!

Writing what you know is commonly spoken about in author’s circles. Research is also a crucial part of writing a novel, and the genre of the work has no baring on the necessity of the sometimes arduous task.

Accurate information is the lifeblood of any literary work, since readers now-a-days can tell the difference between someone who knows what they are talking about and someone who is full of crap. We read enough, see enough, and interact enough on social media and the web to understand the basics as far as the world is concerned, and if we don’t, the truth is only a click away, so smoke and mirrors no longer work in the realm of contemporary romance.

And I very much write what I know.

All the novels in my Blurred Lines Series of blended erotic romances are set in Canada. And more specifically, the Province of Ontario (where I was born.) The cities and towns really do exist. All the restaurants, parks, stadiums, festivals, and landmarks that I refer to are real. All the food on the menu is actually there (unless they’ve changed the menu since the last time I visited.) All roads lead to home. The traffic is in real-time. The weather—hot or cold—is never exaggerated. And, ignoring the sex part, I’ve seen or done pretty much everything I write about. Also, I have a nursing background, so quite often anything medical is King in my writing.

I do a great deal of research, even surrounding places and things I’m familiar with. I check driving and walking distances on Google Maps before sending a character on their way. I check dates of festivals before claiming a character is leaving for the Cactus Festival in Dundas in the month of May (which is not when it runs, btw.) I don’t send anyone to a restaurant on a Monday when the place would normally be closed, and I don’t make up educational institutions, street names, liquor or beer brands, or create something that doesn’t exist in our province just for the sake of my story. Although, some of the main material is created in my mind—Macintyre & Anderson Architectural Firm for example. Corbin Macintyre owns half the firm he works for, so it needs his name on it. But all the supporting material in my novels is factual. Everything that fills in the background of my stories is authentic and truly Canadian.

But what about the sex in an erotic romance? What about—pardon the pun—the ins and outs of the intimacy written between the covers of a book. How accurate is it? How true to life can erotic romance really be?

Well, my books are not biographical as far as the bedroom goes, that much is true, trust me. And, obviously, most modern romances, no matter the sub genre, are pushing the limits on everything—multiple orgasms for the shapely size two female characters, men with genitalia fit for porn who can get it up repeatedly and still want more, and the always battered background that most romance characters originate from while they deal with shattered lives, desires that go beyond what most of us experience, and that underlying mystery that all main characters hide.

For most of us, we pick up a romance novel for entertainment and to lose our self for a few minutes or hours. We do it to arrive in someone else’s shoes, and to find something that will inspire, move us emotionally, educate, or fill a void.

But what does that mean for the accuracy of the sex in an erotic romance?

Well, imagination can carry an author a long way. A vivid one can turn something average into something utterly amazing. Research is vital, and although experience is not always needed for realism when it comes to writing sex, a solid grasp of human biology and the body’s processes can never hurt.

So again, I write what I know.

Like I said, I have a nursing background. I worked in a hospital setting for more than ten years, and in the community for about fifteen. My medical education certainly helps with the basics, like, what happens in hospitals and within our medical system in Canada, but it also helps with the finer details, like, how a foreskin works, what happens in the female body before, during, and after an orgasm, and what an average penis is really capable of—since I’ve had my hands on more of them than I would like to admit because of my nursing.

I try to bring real-life touches (again, no pun intended) to the steamier parts of my erotic romances. I try to keep it as factual as I can, while retaining the unbelievable stuff that pushes my erotica to the limits the reader is expecting (2 or 3, or even 5 orgasms, since who wants a female character who can’t climax when with her perfect man.) And gay or straight, hard or soft, my intention is to always keep the truth somewhere in my contemporary love stories, because real life doesn’t always fall short of fantasy. And learning can come from anywhere.

Permalink

Writing what you know is commonly spoken about in author’s circles. Research is also a crucial part of writing a novel, and the genre of the work has no baring on the necessity of the sometimes arduous task.

Accurate information is the lifeblood of any literary work, since readers now-a-days can tell the difference between someone who knows what they are talking about and someone who is full of crap. We read enough, see enough, and interact enough on social media and the web to understand the basics as far as the world is concerned, and if we don’t, the truth is only a click away, so smoke and mirrors no longer work in the realm of contemporary romance.

And I very much write what I know.

All the novels in my Blurred Lines Series of blended erotic romances are set in Canada. And more specifically, the Province of Ontario (where I was born.) The cities and towns really do exist. All the restaurants, parks, stadiums, festivals, and landmarks that I refer to are real. All the food on the menu is actually there (unless they’ve changed the menu since the last time I visited.) All roads lead to home. The traffic is in real-time. The weather—hot or cold—is never exaggerated. And, ignoring the sex part, I’ve seen or done pretty much everything I write about. Also, I have a nursing background, so quite often anything medical is King in my writing.

I do a great deal of research, even surrounding places and things I’m familiar with. I check driving and walking distances on Google Maps before sending a character on their way. I check dates of festivals before claiming a character is leaving for the Cactus Festival in Dundas in the month of May (which is not when it runs, btw.) I don’t send anyone to a restaurant on a Monday when the place would normally be closed, and I don’t make up educational institutions, street names, liquor or beer brands, or create something that doesn’t exist in our province just for the sake of my story. Although, some of the main material is created in my mind—Macintyre & Anderson Architectural Firm for example. Corbin Macintyre owns half the firm he works for, so it needs his name on it. But all the supporting material in my novels is factual. Everything that fills in the background of my stories is authentic and truly Canadian.

But what about the sex in an erotic romance? What about—pardon the pun—the ins and outs of the intimacy written between the covers of a book. How accurate is it? How true to life can erotic romance really be?

Well, my books are not biographical as far as the bedroom goes, that much is true, trust me. And, obviously, most modern romances, no matter the sub genre, are pushing the limits on everything—multiple orgasms for the shapely size two female characters, men with genitalia fit for porn who can get it up repeatedly and still want more, and the always battered background that most romance characters originate from while they deal with shattered lives, desires that go beyond what most of us experience, and that underlying mystery that all main characters hide.

For most of us, we pick up a romance novel for entertainment and to lose our self for a few minutes or hours. We do it to arrive in someone else’s shoes, and to find something that will inspire, move us emotionally, educate, or fill a void.

But what does that mean for the accuracy of the sex in an erotic romance?

Well, imagination can carry an author a long way. A vivid one can turn something average into something utterly amazing. Research is vital, and although experience is not always needed for realism when it comes to writing sex, a solid grasp of human biology and the body’s processes can never hurt.

So again, I write what I know.

Like I said, I have a nursing background. I worked in a hospital setting for more than ten years, and in the community for about fifteen. My medical education certainly helps with the basics, like, what happens in hospitals and within our medical system in Canada, but it also helps with the finer details, like, how a foreskin works, what happens in the female body before, during, and after an orgasm, and what an average penis is really capable of—since I’ve had my hands on more of them than I would like to admit because of my nursing.

I try to bring real-life touches (again, no pun intended) to the steamier parts of my erotic romances. I try to keep it as factual as I can, while retaining the unbelievable stuff that pushes my erotica to the limits the reader is expecting (2 or 3, or even 5 orgasms, since who wants a female character who can’t climax when with her perfect man.) And gay or straight, hard or soft, my intention is to always keep the truth somewhere in my contemporary love stories, because real life doesn’t always fall short of fantasy. And learning can come from anywhere.

Permalink

Embarrassment is a sensation we all share as human beings. It can come from many different sources and for a lot of different reasons. And it can be caused by our own doing, or from something we had no control over.

We’ve all experienced it, and we recognize it in others as well. The rosy flush in someone’s cheeks. The warmth in our own when we’ve being hit. The drop of a chin, the shrinking into oneself, or even the complete retreat from the situation.

While there are several different reasons I’ve been embarrassed in my life, exposing what I write to the people who are closest to me is not one of them. Except for one person… my grandmother.

I’m not embarrassed in anyway by what I write. But my apprehension in telling my grandmother comes from many different places. She’s ninety-seven after all, from a different generation, and a very different background. Although she has all her marbles, I figure her understanding and acceptance of what I’m writing and publishing will be limited, and I figure her opinion will be made with spitfire speed, because I not only write smut, a great deal of it is gay smut.

I’m in my forties, so my acceptance of sex and what is acceptable has been nurtured from a relatively young age as society has become more gregarious. My acceptance with homosexuality has been nurtured by an open-minded mother and a society that was becoming receptive to the idea of varied sexual orientation, as well as its understanding and acceptance of love that shares the same body parts.

My children are one step better in this long process. Their exposure and understanding of LGBTQ issues has been miles head of my own as a child and as a teen, and compared to my grandmother’s generation, not even in the same atmosphere.

When I was in high school, there was no one openly gay. But my daughter and son have had gay and trans friends since grade seven. My grandmother… she’s never known anyone who is gay, and once told me that she didn’t even know that the term meant anything besides happy until she was well into her thirties.

So where does that leave me?

The woman was farm-raised during the depression. She had a father who had no problem telling a woman where her place was, and a mother who had no problem staying there. My grandmother raised six children, saw her husband off to war, buried him at fifty-two, married again, and buried that man as well. She has said her final good-bye to all her family, all of her friends, her youngest son, a daughter-in-law, and a son-in-law, and she’s watched the health of her own children fail, while she has remained spry and vocal.

And now she has a grand-daughter who is writing smut. Oh, the horror of such an unforeseen turn in life.

I always figured I would just wait until she died to publish; then I wouldn’t have to suffer the embarrassment and judgment. Unfortunately, it didn’t look like the woman was going anywhere anytime soon. And as the years crept by, it looked like I might go before her if I was to wait much longer.

It was my father, her eldest, who finally pushed the subject of what I was doing to the surface a few months ago at a family function. I was thankful for the assistance, as it felt like I couldn’t do anything about it once it was out there. And I was stunned by her reaction.

She seemed impressed, if not somewhat proud that I was pursuing a writing career.

“Do I get to read it?”

I couldn’t help but blush and cringe. “Ah, I’m not sure it’s something that you’d like, Grandma.”

“Why? I used to read a lot.”

“It’s racy.”

“How racy?”

“Pretty racy. It’s a romance, but… it’s got gay characters as well as straight, as well as a lot of sex.” I bit my cheek, waiting. I think she did the same as she hunted for something to say before she broke the silence.

“Well, I’m not that sheltered. I’ve read racy love stories before.”

It bit down harder because nineteen forties racy, and twentieth century smut, are nowhere near the same beast.

“Grandma, this might give you a heart attack.”

She laughed, and much to my surprise added. “Might spice things up. And at my age, I could use it. What better way to go than reading something dirty.”

I couldn’t help myself, I laughed with her, and my cheeks became hotter as I imagined my grandmother reading what I’ve written. Oh, the horror of such an unforeseen turn in life, once again!

I was never close to her when I was young, but the woman is the strongest I know, and I have grown to appreciate and admire her, and I’m glad that she has lived long enough for me to truly know her and love her for who she is and what she’s brought to this world through her long life.

There are always surprises in life. Even when you figure you’ve seen it all, heard it all, experienced it all, someone or something surprises you. Or perhaps, stuns you.

So, have I given her a book yet?

The answer is no.

I have to find some way of bringing her in the twentieth century first - she still fights with her VCR - and then I will have to explain what an e-reader is and how to use it.  All of which would be harder than exposing what it is I write.

But I think I will still hold off giving it to her, as I would like to have her around for a bit longer.

Most readers do it at some point – stray from their typical books to something a little different. Maybe it’s a book cover that’s made you take the leap. Possibly it was just the interesting display in the store. Or maybe it’s the hype around a certain book that causes you to stray from your normal reading genre.

Whatever the reason, most of us have done it.

Some of those samples from a different genre or a different author become wow moments of incredible exploration. Some become a moment of scampering back to what feels like home, scarred for life. But whatever the outcome, you should be proud that you took the chance, because the world of literature is all about exploration and the diverse voices that fill the shelves.

That leap, and the wandering that followed, is how I found the genre of m/m.

I didn’t start reading until my thirties. Until then, I was mostly submerged in thick medical textbooks in college (which I enjoyed), and before that, Shakespeare, but only because the Ontario high school curriculum demanded the classics at the time… and so fitting, our English teacher looked like King Henry the VIII.

But what that educational experience did for me was a few things:

It made reading feel like workIt made it clear to me that reading was for educational purposes onlyIt made me hate reading Shakespeare’s twisted babbleIt made me feel that reading for enjoyment was not only a waste of time, but impossible for me – oh, the teen i feeleth, writing yond anon. Translated into something sensible - oh, the pain I feel, writing that now.

Overall, my exposure to the written word told me that I wasn’t a reader and never would be.

I now realize how wrong I was.

I just had to find the right moment in my life, and the right material, to pick up what others hungered after, to see what can be gained by reading for pleasure alone, and to see that the day needed more hours, that I needed another book, and that I needed to hear another distinct voice.

I stood resolutely in the erotic romance section of the bookstore, but when I looked down to the bottom shelves, I found m/m, and I realized that there was so much more undiscovered.

I prefer love in my reading and writing… actually, I prefer hot sex with a solid story, which is probably why some of the classics missed the mark for me. And medical texts simply fall short on making sex sound fantastic – something I will cover in another blog. But I prefer all types of love in what I read and write, and I don’t want to be forced to put down one book and pick up another to get it.

There is more than one way to express love, and there are as many colours to love as there are colours in the spectrum. Love is not privately owned. Love is not exclusive. And recipe books always have more than one dish between their covers, so why can’t a romance?

A little bit of this, a little bit of that, and a dash of something else… and then taste the spoon with an open mind.

You might find what you never expected to, and it could be the flavour of the other side of love that you’ve been missing.

Oh, and BTW – I have come to love Shakespeare on stage. So, the written page and the dismemberment and evisceration of it in English class hasn’t ruined me completely.