Jennifer Hurvitz Weintraub's Blog

  I.Am.Tired. Truth?  I’m still in my pajamas. And I’m not like, tired-tired. It’s like, fucking exhaustion. It’s the tired that makes you cry kinda tired. It’s that kind of tired. I am so tired I fell asleep in the chair while I was waiting for my boys to get their haircut yesterday. I.Fell.Asleep. No, I wasn’t getting my haircut, that happens a lot. People fall asleep when they’re under that dryer-thingy or when the girl is massaging your head at the sink…no, that’s not what I’m saying. I fell […]

Let’s just say I have experience. Lots of experience. I know men. I know dating. I know lots about dating men. The Dating Doctor is open for business, Y’all. And I’m here to help women (and men) do DATING after divorce, well…right. I mean to do it the right way. The correct way…to find a partner that is solid. Not some loon that says he’s the VP of Target and ends up being a fucking stock boy. Right. Cause lord knows I did it wrong. Over and over. And over. […]

I have a successful blog. I wrote a best-selling novel. I even have an award-winning screenplay. Why not a Podcast? What the hell is a PODCAST? Ha. That is another blog. And shit, if it were only that easy, Y’all. We all would do it! Writing books, selling TV pilots to networks…making connections. Hustling. And for the record, none of it was easy. Not one thing I’ve ever written has ever been “easy” or come easily…even if I made it seem that way. I guess I don’t like to show […]

As if getting my face licked in the Dean and Deluca parking lot wasn’t enough, how about this one? Ahhh…thanks for the memories. I wonder how many other people have dating disasters that took place over at the D&D Wine Bar? Well, I could honestly go on for hours…I remember this one like it was yesterday. Pucker up, yall.  You guys are gonna die. For real. I have a story that ends all stories. Seriously, it does. I have told it to a few of my peeps, and jaws have […]

  No more chocolate babka. Gone is the chicken salad with grapes. Goodbye unsweet iced tea with lemon! No more lunch dates, play dates…or match dates! My life will never be the same without Dean & Deluca. I can’t even fucking believe it! How can they close the most fantastic place in Southpark? Ugh! Well, I will get over it, I will. In time. But while I suffer on, eating at shitty, subpar restaurants…I thought it would be fun to post a few of my WORST DATES I ever had at […]

He looks like my kid. Sometimes he even acts like my kid. I swear he’s mine. But last week when I asked him to, please take out the trash, and he stared at me like I had asked him to climb Mt.Everest naked…I had my doubts. I wanted to collect a blood sample and have him DNA tested! This asshole-kid cannot possibly be mine, where the fuck is my kid? Ya know, the one that came out of my vagina thirteen years ago? The kid that not only needed me […]

I try to leave. I’ve tried a million times. I break up with him. I say we will never work. He’s not my “type.” I make a list of why we shouldn’t be together; I bad mouth him to my friends…convincing myself we have no future. I fight with him to test us; not even knowing I’m doing it. But I am. A year later, and I am still insecure and scared. Should I trust this? But he never gives up; he never lets me go. He is my person.  But […]

It’s raining. And Sunday. The sky is gray and sad. I am sad, too. And feeling pretty shitty. Sundays usually don’t suck around here. But today, this particular Sunday…sucks shit. See, when you’re divorced and have kids you do the “kid-switch” thing. And some of us do a 2-2-5 schedule. Like, two days me, two days you, then five days, me again. And you alternate weekends as such. Omg, I have NO idea how that works, and honestly, I don’t think I even explained that right. I’m confused writing it, […]

I am a mother. I am scared. I am worried. I am angry. And I am entitled to my opinion. I am also educated enough to know that my opinion is only an opinion and while it is what I believe it may not be correct. And I also understand that what I believe is not what you may believe, or the guy next to you…or my boyfriend. Or his Aunt. Or her friend. And YOU might not be correct. It’s called an opinion for a reason, y’all. And because I live in […]

Flowers are nice. Candy is sweet… A card is good if you write in it.  Some even buy jewelry.  Ahhh the day of heightened expectations; and shattered dreams. What? Am I wrong? Bullshit. I am so right.. you just hate to admit it. Valentine’s Day is the one day of the year that ALL women expect their men to blow out of the water but no matter what they do, it’s never enough. Never. If it’s a dinner reservation, it’s not at the exact place you wanted. If it’s flowers you’re […]