Kendra Andrus's Blog

You might think that you don't have time for one more thing. How can you incorporate reading to and with your children in an already overflowing schedule? Here are some tips that I have learned:

1. Read to them during a mealtime. I typically do not actually eat lunch or even dinner with my kids. I'd rather eat later, uninterrupted and in peace. Plus, during a meal, there is too much to do: get someone more food or drink, clean up a spill, coax a 2-year-old to eat, spoon-feed the baby, remind children to use their manners, micromanage the noise, break up the occasional fight, confiscate the toys, etc. I have found that when I pull out the chapter book we are working our way through or even a good picture book (new ones from the library work great for this), I have not only a captive audience, but I also achieve a quieter and more successful mealtime!

2. Create a "Bed Routine." Many parents read a book or a chapter to their kids as part of a bedtime routine. This is a great strategy, for sure. However, I have found that I am depleted and anxious at the end of the day. And with 6 kids of different ages and in different rooms, there is no easy way to make this happen. And we never seem to start early enough! So, we have instead instigated the special time of reading in bed with Mommy (in my bed) on Saturday mornings and on two evenings a week. (We basically parceled out the entire week with evening activities: Sunday is game/puzzle night, Monday is read night, Tuesday is movie night with Daddy while Mommy goes out to Bible Study, Wednesday is bath night, Thursday is read night, Friday is family movie night, and Saturday is bath night.) The kids like the predictable schedule. They own it; they won't let us forget or deviate from it. They make sure we trade nights or make up for nights when our schedule gets out of wack due to special circumstances or events. This is a way to ensure that you are reading aloud to your kids 2-3 times a week.

3. Read to them during chores. This is totally old-school. Lectors used to read aloud to factory workers as they did their menial tasks all day long. It helped pass the time as the work got done. If you have kids who regularly have to wash the dishes or clean the playroom or fold the laundry, this is a perfect time to read to them. Their minds will be focused on listening to the story and it will make the chore more enjoyable and hopefully get done more quickly without as much complaining, dawdling, or interruption! 

4. Read to them during calm activities. Basically, whenever you have a child sitting relatively still and doing an activity that does not require talking, you could be reading to them. Some examples are: while they are soaking in a bath, while they are doing puzzles, while they are swinging, while they are coloring.

5. Read to them in the car. Unless you get car-sick. And of course, as long as you are a passenger too! This is great for passing time on long car trips, but you'd be amazed at how quickly you can get through a novel in 15 minute chunks. Utilize your weekly family trip to and from church or to and from a friend/relative's house to read to your kids! I guarantee that it will make the "she's touching me" and "his humming is annoying me" complaints fade away.

6. Make it a special event. Create an occasional special reading event. The novelty of it, the specialness, and the way you sell it and hype it up will all contribute to it's success. I bet it will also create lasting memories that your kids will always cherish. Have a Reading Picnic in the backyard for lunch or even dinner. Throw a Reading Tea Party in the middle of the afternoon. Go on a Book Hike where you explore in the woods and find the perfect spot to sit down and read for a while. Read a chapter to your kids in the tree house or just perched up in a tree that you can all climb. Build a fort, turn the lights out, and read huddled inside it with a flashlight. Use your imagination - the sky's the limit on this one. 

7. Take turns reading to each other. Once you have strong, independant readers, don't stop reading with them and to them! It is great when kids can read to themselves, all by themselves, but don't forego the communal experience of books - it is still very important and quite fun. Pass around a book together, each person reads one page aloud. Extra points can be awarded to the best hand-off. A seamless mid-sentence pass can be an engaging challenge.

8. Make reading together interactive. Get the kids acting out the story as you read. Create hand signals or motions to do for repetitive words or for when there is a word that a child does not know the meaning of. Have sound-effects that do similar things. For instance, honk your nose when you hear a word you don't understand - then pause and define the word for them. Or clap your hands once every time you hear the name Dick and twice for every time you hear the word Jane. Put your hands on your cheeks and say "oh no!" every time you hear "King Bidgood's in the bathtub and he won't get out!" Stand up, twirl around, and sit down every time I turn the page. Lie down when the characters are lying down, close your eyes to imagine what something looks like, gasp or scream when a character does. You get the gist.

9. Audio Books! Seriously, our voices need a break sometimes. And often we simply need to be cooking dinner or doing something else necessary and important. There is NO SHAME in pressing play on an audio book. These can be utilized at home or in the car! Amazon regularly has great deals on classic novels and children's novels - you can snag them for a dollar or two if you pay attention. Libravox has them for free, although each chapter is read by a different person so that can be weird. But if you are only listening to one chapter at a time, I have found it to not be a problem. I mean, free is free!

10. SAY YES! So, this one is a big one for me. Challenge yourself to say yes one more time a day. I get requests often from an individual child to read a particular book to them. Even though it would probably only take 5-10 minutes, I find myself saying no. No, I'm doing something else, no I'm just too tired, no I don't want to right now. I have been convicted with the truth that I am letting precious growth time slip away - time that my connection with my child can grow and time that their little minds and hearts can grow. Reading is intimate and powerful for all involved! It is okay to say no. But let's challenge ourselves to say yes instead of no at least once a day!

I hope these helped you think of ways that you too can find the time and space to read more to your children. A culture of books and reading in your home is one of the most beautiful and empowering things you can create!

Leave me a comment and share with us your ideas of how to read more with your children.

I am currently teaching my fourth child to read, while I spend tedious time helping my third child continue to practice. Thankfully, I have two independent readers, and the youngest two are in diapers - so I've got time. When my first daughter began reading, I could not contain the joy and pride. I cheered and giggled, I wiggled giddy excitement. You would have thought she had won a gold metal in the Olympics. I fell all over myself, beaming and bragging to all who would listen. Because I remembered the immeasurable passions I felt when I first learned to read, I lived it all over again through my young child. I remembered that I suddenly felt so old and powerful; I felt both grounded and transcendent. I began to believe that anything was possible. It was thrilling.

I am convinced that bestowing a love of the art of words, reading, and story is the most important thing I can do for my children as I teach them. Stories can change us - they can grow and shape us, stretching us beyond what we were before we got wrapped up in them. Crafting beautiful words is an art (if I could swim in poetry, I would). Telling a compelling story is an art. But did you also realize that reading is an art? The way you read something is just as much of a creative and personal experience/expression as it is to do the actual authoring. Reading requires you to turn your imagination on high, pull out your thespian masks, and get really vulnerable and intimate with the characters - and thus yourself. You get to join them absolutely everywhere they go, thinking and feeling with them.  You linger and soak in the truth, you rush through frantically while holding your breath, and you just might underline "ah ha moments" or record excellent quotes for future comfort and inspiration. The art of reading creates in us a bigger and better self. We grow in empathy and compassion, knowledge and wisdom. We can travel anywhere, be anyone, and do absolutely anything.

This is why reading aloud to and with our children is of utmost importance. Their own ability to read both technically and effectively will come as a result of them developing a healthy appetite for story. With your own voice (which carries with it an immense amount of soul-depth, life experience, empathy, and dynamics), you can bring a story to life for your kids. Captivate them with the drama of the story through your inflection, the different voices you give the characters, and the pauses and whispers and shouts and emotion that you put into it. You have all of the control: you can stop and ask a question and get a little dialogue going or you can stop and answer a question that they have (define a word for them or further explain a concept or place). When you read together as a family, you create a culture unique and beguiling. You share a common language and inside jokes. You identify with characters and act them out in everyday life. You come up with ways to change the world with the ideas you get from the stories. You learn together and grow more intimately close.

But please don't think that the reading aloud together stops when your children become independent readers. It must continue! Sure, an eight-year-old can read third grade level books on their own...but can they read above their level? Can they tackle classics? Can they handle alone the substance of more substantial literature? You are the one who can help them navigate higher literature- and love it. You are the one who can expose them to more sophisticated vocabulary. You are the one who can champion the beauty and power of story so that they continue to be convinced that books and reading are thrilling and worth doing! 

When we listen to a book being read to us, we are growing in listening skills, imagination, and creativity. More so, we grow in empathy. We become better listeners, better thinkers, better writers, better communicators. Ultimately, we become bigger livers of life; we ride the drama to the climax, solve the problems, keep the faith, cry through the grief, laugh through the challenge, and come out the other end different and better from the journey.  What is it to be human and live a life if not to imagine a better world and put the creative energy into making it so? Story, books, and reading together will help to facilitate just that.

So read to your kids: before they can talk, before they can read, while they are learning to read, and well after they can. Their moments will be changed by the intimate experience, by the shared laughter, tears, and adventure. Their days will be woven together and sustained by the repetitive, rhythmic coming together around a shared story, with characters to identify with and to be inspired by. Their days will contain time for growing in empathy and for boundless travel, exploring the depths of humanity and the breadths of the world. And ultimately, their lives will be changed by the magical and transformative power of words - words that communicate truth and love and beauty and vision. Words that instill worth and dignity, hope and the gumption to create. Who knows...the cycle might just continue as your children grow up to be the next wordsmiths who change lives through their poetry and stories! Cheers to families that read aloud together!

"Few children learn to love books by themselves. Someone has to lure them into the wonderful written word; someone has to lead the way."

~Orville Prescott

The typical story is: I can't find an agent or publisher interested in my manuscripts or brand of books. That was my story too (although, to be fair, I didn't give it much time or very many rejections). Impatience got the best of me. Or perhaps it served me well....

Consider these two scenarios:

After moving to a new city and state, very reluctantly and jarringly I might add, I found my life stripped bare of all the things that I used to give myself to (and receive from). Where my life before was full of ministry and activity, service and friendship, I found myself with an empty slate - bored and lonely, sad and lacking. It is in this year of emptiness that I mustered up the gumption to allow the spark of creativity to ignite. My passion from years ago to write children's books (of which I was getting inspiration on a regular basis), rekindled. It's as if a light shined upon the overlooked corner cobweb, which glistened with fresh beauty and invitation. I suddenly had the space and time to give to it. And what I discovered in that year was this: I had nothing but myself - and I was ENOUGH. I was thrust into the stark reality that I actually have what it takes to do life well, to be fully whole, to "vini vidi vici" (I came, I saw, I conquered). Just little ole me. The other stuff had fallen away, and what was left of me was beautiful and powerful - fully enough.

As the end of the first year in the new place and with my new life drew near, I got anxious about a nagging question: what have I done of worth? What had I accomplished, built, achieved, given, aided, grew, or otherwise affected by my existence? Of course there was the beautiful, great work of a new baby and my other 5 children, but I desperately wanted to be someone beyond that too. I needed to create more. Maybe you don't feel and think this way, but I can't help it. And if you can relate, we are soul-sisters and you can hang out on my floating cloud anytime! Anyway, with this weight pressing on me, I grasped for the most obvious and readily available thing - those children's books I had written a few years ago and had no time to do anything with because of my then full life. After strongly considering paying (a high price to) a vanity/hybrid press to publish my books, I had an author friend strongly encourage me to reconsider. Somehow she thought that this exhausted and depressed mother of 6 had time in her life to devote to doing all of the research and making all of the decisions involved in self-publishing. Somehow she believed that I had the courageous and creative capacity to tackle such a feat. Somehow she knew just the right words to say and just the right practical information to share to point me in that direction. Terrified and feeling out-of-shape in so many ways, I borrowed her faith and started dreaming about doing it on my own. As I researched, I learned that there were many pros to self-publishing. The most compelling to me was that I would not be entrusting my words to someone else to edit, control, illustrate, advertise, and own. My books would be my babies, fully conceived and grown, nurtured and dressed by me. The entire creative process would be mine with nothing to stifle it, or steer it, or override it. As daunting as that seemed, it also was incredibly freeing and compelling. As soon as I said "YES" to the grand adventure, the creativity started to flow, and its current swept me up and away. 

So why am I glad I braved the self-publishing mountain? Because the products at the peak are hard-fought and proudly-won. The challenge was fulfilling. The art was enthralling. I discovered that I had everything in me that I needed to succeed. Part of that was the deep knowing that I needed to enlist others to help me (and exactly who they should be) - inviting them to join in the adventure, deeply grateful for their skill, support, and comradery. The collaborative experience was humbling and beautiful. And so much fun. The scary moments were exciting, the overwhelmed days were strengthening, and the victorious feelings were empowering. The view from up here inspires me, and I pray it inspires you too. Dare to create from your innermost being and offer it to the world. You are enough. Come. See. Conquer.

When my twins were three-years-old (and I also had a one-year-old and a baby), we lived a few blocks away from the library. It became our weekly routine, every Monday, to walk and stroll the bumpy sidewalks to return a pile of books, replacing them with new and exciting treasures. We checked out ten books every time - partly because that was all the weight I wanted to carry on the encumbered trek back, and partly because I never wanted to remember how many we needed to keep up with and find when it was time to return them. A mother's heart can carry the whole world, but a mother's brain can only carry so much. Whenever you can, keep it simple.

I learned a lot that memorable year. Our entire family grew in so many remarkable ways.

I rediscovered the world of children's books, recovering my own love for turning pages and being wowed by creativity, imagination, beautiful art, and the perfect turn of a phrase or well-placed word. I think I was genuinely more excited about pulling books off of shelves and cracking them open than my own little tots were - and they were quite thrilled to hunt for treasures in the rows and rows of colorful book spines. 

There is something sacred and awe-inspiring about a building full of books - it's as if the whole world that seems far, far away from you is suddenly accessible, touchable, knowable, experience-able. Libraries remind me of Mary Poppins' magic bag that keeps producing the wildest things, as if there is no limit based on its physical space. The potential whole is much more than the sum of its parts. A hushed atmosphere of whispers and tip-toeing also contributes to a sense of the holy awe and reverence that such a significant space embodies. Ceilings, floors, and walls cannot contain the heights, depths, and breadths of the truths and beauties that are found in-between the covers of the books inside.

Our ten books a week fostered quality time that knit us closer with each read-aloud. Snuggling on beds and over-sized chairs, we laughed and cried together, wondered and discovered together. Reading books communally gave us a shared language, inside jokes, and endless inspiration for our creative play. Eventually, my children - as all do - learn to read themselves and can get lost in a book alone (also magical and powerful in its own rite), but the days of eager bodies and faces hovering around the pages of a new book where the only decipherable things are the pictures and the sound of mama's voice acting out the unfolding story are a treasure trove to be mined with intention and celebration.

I learned that, for every dazzling story with captivating illustrations, there were several that left much to be desired. Everywhere I turned, I read a book that just missed the mark for me somehow. For fear of sounding elitist, I just have to be honest that I found myself rewriting the words and repainting the pictures in my imagination, offering my improvements. In fact, I actually did regularly rewrite some words and phrases as I read out loud to my kids. 

The other thing that I quickly learned was that there were very few books that acknowledged the spiritual reality amidst everyday stories and childhood lessons. I was forever adding that commentary to the books: "wow, look how much God loves us that God would create that beautiful thing," or "this is just like what Jesus did or said," and "we can be brave and strong and full of peace like this because of the power of God's spirit that lives in us." Sure, there are many Bible stories retold for kids, but there is a palpable lack of books that depict normal life with faith and God. Not heavy-handed spirituality, just simple and subtle and meaningful everyday spirituality.

I learned that this was a niche of children's books that was largely missing. I believed that I was not the only parent or caregiver that longed for books like these. I quickly felt the hefty burden of the countless children who could be forever impacted by books such as these. After all, the beloved books of childhood make a lasting impression on us all, coloring our pictures of life and self and future, stamping us with value and desire and direction. We memorize them and they mesmerize us. Science tells us that the stuff we stuff into our brains (and souls) in our early childhood stays deeply with us, fundamentally changing us and marking us. You can sing every song from your early years and quote every nursery rhyme, right? Some of it even chokes you up or gives you deep, warm, fuzzy feelings. I rest my case.

So here I am. Beckoned to provide children's books that cover an array of topics, I am journeying on the creative path to give the world stories and lessons for children that acknowledge and appreciate the spiritual truths that are such a dear and important part of who we are. It is my hope and prayer that you will appreciate these books, cherish reading them with your precious little ones, see the fruit of their message speak straight to their hearts and minds, and have your own soul pricked and soothed along the way. Timeless truths for ageless souls. Will you adventure with me? Will you get excited about the power of reading and the art of weaving truth into story, and sewing faith and divinity through language? Let's be better parents together - through the art of story and the medium of books!

"When you don't find the book you want on the shelf, write it."

-Beverly Cleary