Richard Porter

“Not everything on TV can be edgy and irreverent, otherwise you’d end up with weather presenters shouting, ‘Listen up bitches!’, after which the whole of middle England would spin off its axis and someone would get strangled with a tea towel.”
― Richard Porter, And on that Bombshell: Inside the Madness and Genius of Top Gear

“I met up with a mate in Birmingham afterwards and had a drink that turned into several drinks then we forgot to have dinner but did think perhaps another drink would be a corking idea. I’m mentioning this only as a way of explaining what happened next, which is that I got on my train back to the North West, began to feel a bit queasy and eventually had to run to one of the carriage doors, whack down the window and vomit out of it with great force and volume, which would have been fine except that we were pulling into Stafford station at the time. I can only apologise if you were one of the people on that platform, maybe thinking, Oh, look at that young man in his smart suit and vibrant tie, perhaps returning from some vital business in Birmingham or London and . . . OH MY GOD, HE’S MACHINE-GUNNING THE STATION WITH VOMIT!”
― Richard Porter, And on that Bombshell: Inside the Madness and Genius of Top Gear