Faigy Liebermann's Blog

When you see an ADHD woman succeeding, you know that she has put in far more effort to achieve her success than her neurotypical counterparts.

Hey! That’s me 😊

I have spent my time off supporting my children. I do things the ADHD Way. When there is an extended period of Family Time, I always set myself a project to do. This keeps my brain buzzing. It motivates me to keep the family daily routine moving along, sort of, so I can create time, (not find time, that never happens,) to get that project done.

What project did I set for myself this time?
I finally faced one of my demons:
My cluttered and convoluted email list. Oh the shame. The regret. My inner critic had a field day 😣

I spent endless hours, I am ashamed to admit how long, learning, practicing, undoing, learning, practicing, undoing, learning, practicing undoing, and finally mastering the skills that I needed to make this thing work. 

Sounds familiar?
​​
How my non-existent working memory tripped me up. You don’t even want to know 😲
​My working memory deficit is always working in the background. I can never feel 100% confident that I have mastered a skill. I am sure I will forget an obvious step in the future, and waste hours searching hopelessly for the solution…Boo hoo 😪

I must have learned and relearned every single skill at least 5 times if not more.

It was super-duper frustrating. I-did-not-give-up. Each frustration, motivated me to continue.

I have finally mastered Active Campaign 😁 For now 😶

I have created more FAB ADHD content for yohoo 😍

From now on, you will receive one valuable email every Tuesday at 11am.

I think you’ll like it.

If you do not wish to receive those emails, feel free to unsubscribe right now. You won’t hear from me again.

See you on Tuesday at 11am sharp. (It’s an ADHD 11am…)

Warning: The Internet Gods may be messing about. You may get my emails at random days and  times 😮 We are working on it…Thank you for your patience.

My Most Popular Course on Udemy

The post How I used my ADHD to stay sane during the winter break appeared first on Focus With Faigy.

I have been really ill the last 11 days with flu. I never get flu or get ill, so this really threw me off the cliff backwards. While I was ill in bed, I had a lot of time to think about things that I have been pushing under the carpet, or I was too busy to think about. I must be feeling better today. So far I have done the following: I sent an email to an ADHD organisation that used my good will and has not reciprocated in kind.I sent another email to an ADHD organisation that has said that they approved my courses for continuing CEUs but they are nowhere to be seen on the website… I set up a zoom call with a friend for this morning. We have both been subject to gross injustice from Salford Council Direct payments scheme. I put through an official complaint for my child and a separate one for hers. The complaints page was hidden, by the way…I wonder why… A family member complained that I do not call them or text them enough. I realised that they rarely call back or respond to my messages. I have emailed them about this expecting backlash. None so far. Another family member asked my advice and didn’t like my back-to-normal enthusiastic tone of voice. I didn’t let them get away with their sighs and groans. They need to take the whole package deal, the whole me. No, they can not pick and choose. All these tasks done with calm and assertive thought, and none of my old ADHD hot-headedness. My inner work is paying off.  ADHD Tip – I always but always no exceptions schedule send my emails, even if it is just for 3 minutes into the future. “Schedule send” must have been created for ADHDers…  It’s time to be yourself, no matter what your inner or outer demons tell you. Success is your action, results come from God.Ps. Thank you to my friends who have helped me through, especially to my friend who sent me Cholent for the Sabbath this week…Wow, one thing less to cook in my addled state… My Most Popular Course on Udemy

The post What is it like to live authentically with ADHD? appeared first on Focus With Faigy.

My ADHD clients (and me too!) are filled with guilt about their lack of achieving anything during this past year. That is a total lie. They hold themselves up to far too high standards and I will take this apart in the blog.

It is already December. In a few short weeks, 2023 will be upon us.

Here is a snapshot of my diary entry for November 2018. Let me share with you how I felt in November 2018.

“I feel intense pressure that gets worse as the days and weeks moved towards the end of 2022.

My thoughts are constantly going around in a loop as I reflect and think about my achievements, or lack of them, this past year.

I can’t even remember the goals that I set for myself in January 2022 for this coming year. I lost the piece of paper. The word doc is lost in my digital desktop jungle.

I feel acute intense pressure to perform, to get something worthwhile done. I feel so disappointed with myself. I believe I am useless. I am a sham. I look at other businesswomen who have succeeded, and this makes me feel much worse. I haven’t completed even one goal that I set for myself in January 2022.”

I spent far too much energy hiding my intense guilt from the world. My show of calm confidence was slowly cracking. I couldn’t understand why other women were successful, and I was not. What secret did they know I didn’t know? I wanted to know the magic formula for success. Maybe there was no magic formula. Maybe I was doomed to fail for my entire life. 

This is an accurate picture of my internal world before I learned about ADHD. 

I only got diagnosed with ADHD 3 years ago.

I used to live with a constant state of acute anxiety, guilt, pressure, frustration, hopelessness, despair and anger, every single day, but since my diagnosis I have been able to manage my ADHD better. Get an ADHD diagnosis at leading assessment and treatment clinics like The ADHD Centre while learning tools and ways to manage your ADHD so that you can put your overwhelm in the bin where it needs to go. And create your calm, confidence, and focus.”

I used to live with a constant state of acute anxiety, guilt, pressure, frustration, hopelessness, despair and anger, every single day.

Now I know that a sizeable chunk of this pressure was created by me. It was my default ADHD thinking working against me. Many people with ADHD think in “all-or-nothing terms” or black-and-white thinking. They want instant success or quick success. Success takes time and they don’t understand that. They don’t understand that outside achievements do not measure that success. Success is measured by your internal shifts that then influence your external world.

Either the project is perfect, or it’s nothing. Either 20 people turn up to my course or I am a failure. 

You get the idea.

If you are a woman with ADHD, please understand that you are not faulty or lazy. This ADHD default thinking can serve you well, only if you know how to channel it in the right way. If they did not teach you how to channel your default black-and-white thinking to work for you and not against you when you were young, you become your worst enemy.

You become the silent monster inside your head, criticising you non-stop. The more you focus on it, the more it grows.

You have set too high standards for everything that you do and now you are trapped inside your own head. You won’t believe what anyone says to you. Genuine praise from others sounds false.

This is how I feel now in December 2022.

When I think back to the goals that I set at the start of this year. I can’t even remember the goals.

I feel satisfied because I have done my best each day to move forward and learn from my mistakes. This is true even though I can’t remember what I achieved. I have achieved many important things in my business and personal life. The most important changes are not apparent if you hop on my website. They are those tiny, almost invisible shifts in perception and action. 

Here are some of my business achievements so far for 2022.

Every day, I check my business and personal bank accounts. When I check my bank accounts, I no longer get panic attacks. I have removed the anxiety and overwhelm, the guilt and shame regarding managing my finances, business and personal. I know what date payments are due to go out and come in.

I zapped two overdrafts on two personal bank accounts. One for £1500 and one for £1000. I have organised the family bills to go out of one account and arranged funds to cover all the bills each month. It just ticks over from month to month. This is ADHD Heaven! There is no more panic about how I will cover my bills and expenses. This is mega beyond huge. Not only do I have ADHD, but I also have Dyscalculia, which is the number form of dyslexia. 

I removed my online courses from all platforms. They are all now only on Udemy.

I walked every single early morning this past year, with two exceptions. When there were storms, high winds, and intense heat, I walked. I walked even when my daughter, who was staying in my home, went off to the hospital to have her first baby at 8 am. My son went off to school, and I shot out like a rocket. I needed that walk so badly.  

I now know that every minor achievement is not that minor at all. It affects every single area of life, and creates ripple effects that extend further than you can see.

ADHD management is Pills and Skills. An ADHD Coach supports their clients with the skills that they need to get on in life.

If you are a woman or mum and you think you may have ADHD, stop excusing. Stop blaming. You and only you can get a grip on your life. If you tell your GP that you may have ADHD and you want to be referred for an ADHD assessment, he may not even listen to you. He may just chuck anxiety pills and anti-depressants at you. 

It is time to empower yourself with the true ADHD facts.

How do you manage your ADHD? Get an ADHD diagnosis. Learn tools to manage your ADHD so that you can put your overwhelm in the bin where it needs to go. And create your calm, confidence, and focus.

Don’t let that voice in your head put you off by telling you all sorts of lies. Change is like compound interest. It multiplies and increases and grows more and more.

My Most Popular Course on Udemy

The post The ADHD Way to Get More Done appeared first on Focus With Faigy.

My ADHD clients (and me too!) are filled with guilt about their lack of achieving anything during this past year. That is a total lie. They hold themselves up to far too high standards and I will take this apart in the blog.

It is already December. In a few short weeks, 2023 will be upon us.

Here is a snapshot of my diary entry for November 2018. Let me share with you how I felt in November 2018.

“I feel intense pressure that gets worse as the days and weeks moved towards the end of 2022.

My thoughts are constantly going around in a loop as I reflect and think about my achievements, or lack of them, this past year.

I can’t even remember the goals that I set for myself in January 2022 for this coming year. I lost the piece of paper. The word doc is lost in my digital desktop jungle.

I feel acute intense pressure to perform, to get something worthwhile done. I feel so disappointed with myself. I believe I am useless. I am a sham. I look at other businesswomen who have succeeded, and this makes me feel much worse. I haven’t completed even one goal that I set for myself in January 2022.”

I spent far too much energy hiding my intense guilt from the world. My show of calm confidence was slowly cracking. I couldn’t understand why other women were successful, and I was not. What secret did they know I didn’t know? I wanted to know the magic formula for success. Maybe there was no magic formula. Maybe I was doomed to fail for my entire life. 

This is an accurate picture of my internal world before I learned about ADHD. 

I only got diagnosed with ADHD 3 years ago.

I used to live with a constant state of acute anxiety, guilt, pressure, frustration, hopelessness, despair and anger, every single day.

Now I know that a sizeable chunk of this pressure was created by me. It was my default ADHD thinking working against me. Many people with ADHD think in “all-or-nothing terms” or black-and-white thinking. They want instant success or quick success. Success takes time and they don’t understand that. They don’t understand that outside achievements do not measure that success. Success is measured by your internal shifts that then influence your external world.

Either the project is perfect, or it’s nothing. Either 20 people turn up to my course or I am a failure. 

You get the idea.

If you are a woman with ADHD, please understand that you are not faulty or lazy. This ADHD default thinking can serve you well, only if you know how to channel it in the right way. If they did not teach you how to channel your default black-and-white thinking to work for you and not against you when you were young, you become your worst enemy.

You become the silent monster inside your head, criticising you non-stop. The more you focus on it, the more it grows.

You have set too high standards for everything that you do and now you are trapped inside your own head. You won’t believe what anyone says to you. Genuine praise from others sounds false.

This is how I feel now in December 2022.

When I think back to the goals that I set at the start of this year. I can’t even remember the goals.

I feel satisfied because I have done my best each day to move forward and learn from my mistakes. This is true even though I can’t remember what I achieved. I have achieved many important things in my business and personal life. The most important changes are not apparent if you hop on my website. They are those tiny, almost invisible shifts in perception and action. 

Here are some of my business achievements so far for 2022.

Every day, I check my business and personal bank accounts. When I check my bank accounts, I no longer get panic attacks. I have removed the anxiety and overwhelm, the guilt and shame regarding managing my finances, business and personal. I know what date payments are due to go out and come in.

I zapped two overdrafts on two personal bank accounts. One for £1500 and one for £1000. I have organised the family bills to go out of one account and arranged funds to cover all the bills each month. It just ticks over from month to month. There is no more panic about how I will cover my bills and expenses. This is mega beyond huge. Not only do I have ADHD, but I also have Dyscalculia, which is the number form of dyslexia. 

I removed my online courses from all platforms. They are all now only on Udemy.

I walked every single early morning this past year, with two exceptions. Even though there were storms, high winds, and intense heat, I walked. I walked even when my daughter, who was staying in my home, went off to the hospital to have her first baby at 8 am. My son went to school, and I shot out like a rocket. I needed that walk badly.  

I now know that every minor achievement affects every single area of life, and creates ripple effects that extend further than you can see.

ADHD management is Pills and Skills. An ADHD Coach supports their clients with the skills that they need to get on in life.

If you are a woman or mum and you think you may have ADHD, stop excusing. Stop blaming. You and only you can get a grip on your life. If you tell your GP that you may have ADHD and you want to be referred for an ADHD assessment, he may not even listen to you. He may just chuck anxiety pills and anti-depressants at you. 

It is time to empower yourself with the true ADHD facts.

Learn tools to manage your ADHD so that you can put your overwhelm in the bin where it needs to go. And create your calm, confidence, and focus.

Don’t let that voice in your head put you off by telling you all sorts of lies. Change is like compound interest. It multiplies and increases and grows more and more.

Become more productive here

The post Become More Productive appeared first on Focus With Faigy.

I got a bit carried away yesterday when I read a public post from a LinkedIn connection, who just got diagnosed with ADHD. She was feeling overwhelmed by it all.

I am quite a veteran in the ADHD battle. I have an ADHD diagnosis (three years ago), so does my husband, (he got his last), and all my five children have an ADHD diagnosis. They are between 22-10 years old. I have two girls and three boys, in that order.

And just in case you are dying to know, we are ALL on ADHD meds. Sorting the repeat meds every month is a NIGHTMARE between my GP and my pharmacy. Yet it is still worth it.

My two daughters are currently not on ADHD medication. Both of them are new mothers. My daughters have been on meds. They have experienced the change. They know the option is there, when, not if, their lives get busier and more stressful and they will need ADHD meds in the future to help them regulate their emotions.

My advice to you is DO NOT listen to all those doomers and gloomers out there. Yes, my ADHD is difficult to live with, to put it mildly. I am difficult to live with often, to put it mildly, and vice versa with my family members. I would never have it any other way. “

It is very important to get an ADHD diagnosis.  When you get an ADHD diagnosis, you finally have the answer to the questions that have been tormenting you for your entire life. Now you know what you are dealing with. When you know what you are dealing with, you have a path to follow. You can decide to try ADHD medication.

ADHD management is “Pills and Skills.” In addition to ADHD medication, you can look at other ways to help you manage your ADHD. can then go and get the right treatment for your ADHD. ADHD Coaching supports you to learn the ADHD skills that you need that are missing in your life due to no fault of your own. You are not lazy, incompetent or stupid. Your ADHD brain is wired differently. You need to learn how to work with your unique brain wiring. An ADHD coach supports you with this.

If you are newly diagnosed with ADHD or you think you have ADHD, stop suffering alone. You can get help whether or not you have an ADHD diagnosis.

My Udemy ADHD self-help courses are super popular with the ADHD community. Check them out here.

The post Don’t get rid of your ADHD just yet appeared first on Focus With Faigy.

Too many people are suffering with poor mental health. In reality they could be suffering with undiagnosed ADHD.

Over the last few years, ADHD has been getting more and more publicity. There has been an explosion of celebrities who have gone public about their ADHD.

Do you really know what ADHD  is?

A growing number of ADHD experts believe that ADHD has been misnamed. The term ADHD, is short for, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. ADHD was commonly believed to be a disorder of attention. In truth, it is not an attentional disorder, it is an emotional self-regulation disorder. The inability to regulate one’s emotions is the heart of the ADHD challenge. Those with ADHD experience their emotions, whether high or low, with a greater intensity. Anger management issues often go together with ADHD.

Successful ADHD management is “Pills and Skills.” Unmanaged ADHD affects every area of life. If you think you may have ADHD, its important to get an ADHD diagnosis.  The ADHD Centre  provides ADHD assessments and support.

Please be aware that ADHD medication only supports up to 50% of ADHD symptoms. The remaining 50% needs to be addressed through ADHD coaching.  Every person diagnosed with ADHD will need some aspect of life skills training and support.

ADHD coaching is a niche form of life coaching. Through ADHD coaching the client learns teaches the life skills that they need in order to live their successful life. An ADHD coach and supports them to put the skills into concrete action. If you are interested in finding an ADHD coach, make sure to ask if the coach is certified, and that they have specifically trained as an ADHD life coach.

I have ADHD. All of my 5 children have been diagnosed with ADHD. I live daily with the intense pressure of being expected to excel, and constantly expecting to fail; the crippling shame, and intense guilt and anxiety; feeling frazzled, and being clueless how to explain why my ADHD brain won’t focus to those who need to know is totally draining.

ADHD in women is largely unknown in the UK, misdiagnosed and largely goes untreated. Behaviour is brain-based. I live daily with the extreme behaviours that are part of the brain wiring of ADHD children. I live daily with the acute worry and anxiety over my ADHD children’s future. My children and myself suffer daily being misunderstood and mistreated by those in authority who pay lip service to the neurodiverse accommodations in our schools and further education settings. I witness daily the damage that this ignorance does to my children and my clients.

Up to 80% of those diagnosed with ADHD will have a second co-morbid condition. Common comorbid conditions are anxiety, depression, dyslexia. Many people are suffering with anxiety and or depression, and they may not be aware that these conditions may be sub-shoots from undiagnosed ADHD.

If you think that you, or a family member may be suffering from ADHD your first action step is to empower yourself with the real ADHD facts.

 

The post Mental Health Awareness Day 2022 appeared first on Focus With Faigy.

I took time off work on Tuesday to visit RHS Bridgewater with a good friend. It is free on Tuesday to Salford residents. My ADHD brain being as it is, when I go to a new place, I need to go with someone else to see the route. After that, I am fine to go myself.

 

My friend has been raving on about this place for months. I usually work on Tuesday afternoons, so I haven’t taken up this amazing opportunity.

 

This past Tuesday, a couple of clients were away. I realised its now or never.

 

The place is even better than I imagined. I plan to go every Tuesday or as often as I possibly can.We had such a great time.

 

And we were both back in time for our children coming home from school.

 

I was feeling so happy and upbeat last night, and it has spilled over today.

 

I looked on the website and I saw they have Social prescribing, therapeutic gardening sessions.

 

I plan to get myself and my family socially prescribed so we can access these sessions. After all we all have ADHD. I can just hear some of you thinking, “What? I am too embarrassed, or similar such stuff.”

 

Consider the following guidance:

A Jewish sage once said, “More people die from pride than from hunger.”Life is too short to spend ruminating and hesitating.

 

Before you know it, the opportunity will be gone.

 

And you will only have regret left.I am going to use my gift of impulsivity, and get in touch with my GP today!What are you doing to support your mental health and general wellbeing?Get cracking right now.

You and only you are responsible for your success.Many people believe that ADHD closes doors of opportunity and success.

 

The ADHD brain tends to ruminate and think about things a lot and in great detail. This can prevent you from using the opportunities that are presented to you.

 

I have learned that my ADHD can open doors for me and my children.” https://www.rhs.org.uk/…/garden…/community-wellbeing

 

The post ARE YOU GRABBING THE MOMENT? appeared first on Focus With Faigy.

I am so grateful to my ADHD clients. I learn so much from them.

 

Here is a story that happened a few weeks ago.

 

Estelle came to the session with a question. She was feeling moody and anxious. She felt more easily triggered and she had to work on herself to rein in her emotions. She didn’t know why.

She said that her sister-in-law had moved in for a short while. Estelle and her husband had graciously given her their spare room. Estelle worked from home. The spare room was her office, where she spent 8 hours every day.

Since her sister-in-law had moved in, she moved her office to the couch in her main living room. She came in often and chatted to her. She found it increasingly hard to focus on her work. When she was disturbed, she found it very hard to get back into her previous hyper-focus mode.

Estelle and her partner had spent a lot of time and money making the room liveable, decorating, and replacing the floor. She was happy to do so.

Her cat was very disturbed. The spare room was her room, and she was now displaced.

We discussed how to support Estelle to keep herself focused and on track. 

 

I made her aware of what a kind person she was. Family came up very high on her list of value priorities. She hadn’t realised that. She thought that this was normal. I showed her that it was super normal!

She didn’t realise how unsettling this change would be. She thought she was flawed in some way for feeling so unsettled and upset.

When her sister-in-law came into the living room, even for a short chit chat, she found it so hard to get back to her work. Her internal dialogue was set off, yoyoing back and forth, and she couldn’t quiet the ping-pong dialogue. 

We discussed some tools to support her need to work undisturbed. Here are some tools that Estelle came up with.

Use noise cancelling head phones.

Listen to music.

Spend a couple of hours a day doing her computer work at the local library and café.

We created together short and focused rescue phrases to use when she got disturbed.  We addressed some negative beliefs that were stopping her from putting those rescue phrases into action. 

 

Estelle practised the rescue phrases, and she learned the trick to avoid eye contact during these times so her emotions wouldn’t get dragged in.

Practise being kind to herself. Notice that her actions are not just “normal,” they are supernormal.

This story took place over 4 coaching sessions to work through. Estelle felt supported that there were answers to her problems. Most importantly, she felt empowered that in the future she would be able to find the solutions that she needed by herself. 

This is the goal of ADHD coaching.

My Online courses are a fantastic resource for you to learn how to unlock your ADHD potential.

The post How To Plan Ahead With Ease And Grace appeared first on Focus With Faigy.

I have a wonderful new PA who is supporting me in my far too many admin and social media tasks.

This weekend one of my tasks was to edit my Focus with Faigy website and check over the wording and links.

My PA had updated the website and now used a much better editing tool. I spent two productive hours of focused time, working out this new software and plowing through the website pages. 

I felt very accomplished and pleased with myself. I had managed to stay focused for two hours, and actually enjoyed the work. I had tightened the wording and made it all flow better.

In the evening, I jumped back on to the website. I looked at the screen. I looked again. I did a double take. It looked like no changes had happened. 

I looked again, and dug around. I realised that there were two “save” buttons. I had only saved the first one, and not the second…Ouch. 

Sounds familiar? If you have ADHD, you will most likely be nodding your head.

What would I have done only a few years ago?

My inner critic would have had a celebration. That inner devil would jump up and start to pound me non-stop.

Here is a sample of what I used to think

“Faigy you are such an idiot. You never ever do anything right. When you put in some really focused work, you always do something to get you unravelled. Life is so hard. Business is so hard. Life is so hard. Why is it all so terribly hard?  It’s just excruciating. I may as well give up.”

I have worked mightily on myself and my ADHD.

This is what I really thought,

“That’s annoying. Most of my edits weren’t saved. Oh well, hey ho.

I will just zip through the edits really quickly. They will get done in a snap. This is what happens when I learn something new.

My working memory deficit jumps in…and says, “hello, remember me.” I now know that it often takes me longer to learn a new skill, hopefully I will remember this lesson.

I am going to share this incident with my client on Tuesday.

We are going to have a chuckle.”

I never ever gave up. I battled on, until I reached a semblance of inner peace and calm. I am still battling every day. Today it is a different battle. It is a humorous battle of self-acceptance. I now apologise readily to myself for squeezing the life out of me, and my loved ones for being too snappy and impulsive.

Surprisingly they respect me more for being real and honest.

If you don’t have ADHD, you may be thinking, “What is Faigy on about?” If you have ADHD, you will know that my latter reaction is priceless wisdom.

You and only you control your success. You and only you can pick yourself up and learn the simple and easy tools that you need to support your ADHD brain.

Stop stumbling and tripping yourself up. Start to skip down your Life path with light and ease. 

My Online courses are a fantastic resource for you to learn how to unlock your ADHD potential.

The post What I think is “normal” is actually “ADHD supernormal” appeared first on Focus With Faigy.

It is becoming quite fashionable and the in-thing for celebrities to say that they have ADHD. I get really upset about this. Frankly, it is often a publicity getter and a money-making gimic.

Here are a few questions that I want hard answers for.

Who diagnosed them?Are they on meds and how is it going?What ADHD difficulties do they live with every day?Have they worked with an ADHD coach and what did they learn?

I know that the truth will reveal itself easily and at the right time.

Let me share a little bit about my ADHD with you.

I hold a unique and very exhausting position in the ADHD world.

I have ADHD.

I struggle daily with managing my ADHD. I struggle daily with the shame, blame, and anxiety that often comes along with ADHD. And yes, I am on ADHD meds. I would never ever go a day without taking my meds.

I am a mum of 5 children.

All diagnosed with ADHD.

All have been on ADHD meds. Currently 3 are on ADHD meds.

My husband finally agreed to get diagnosed. Yes, he has ADHD, and he is on ADHD meds. He can’t stop thanking me for nudging him sometimes gently, sometimes not so, to get himself assessed for ADHD.

I support him daily to be the best person that he can be.

To support myself, my family and the ADHD community, I have spent many years training to the highest standard in ADHD coaching. I am a PAAC certified ADHD Coach. All my clients reach much further than the goals that they set for themselves.

Read more about my story of ADHD self-discovery in my bestselling book, “Own Your ADHD” 

My latest role: Supporting my ADHD son to navigate the employment world.

My son, aged 18, started employment in late December 2021. He is currently enrolled on an Apprenticeship Program with a top-notch training college, The Apprentice and Training Partnership, based in Wilmslow, South Manchester.  I am the proud mum of an ADHD employee.  He brings his unique way of being and thinking to his work.

With my son’s permission, I have been involved in the background, liaising with the college, supporting my son to work through the necessary paperwork, working with his employer to support them to submit the relevant paperwork, plus more. Honestly, for the duration of the onboarding phase, I felt like I had taken on a part-time job.

He officially started the program in May. The support that the team at the Apprentice and Training Partnership has provided for my son and myself has been fantastic. It is sadly quite rare to see this level of support for a young person with a disability.

Now, I have taken on another role, supporting my ADHD son since his employer  has fired him, from one minute to the next. The reasons were based on my son’s difficulties due to his ADHD. I was frequently in touch with the employer, checking up how my son was doing, and offering support in the background, where needed. I always got positive reports. Then from one day to the next, they fired him. 

The more that I go through life, and the more I observe the ADHD world, and the neurotypical world, the more I am realising that my simple common sense is not that common. It’s actually priceless wisdom.

The more I go through life, the more I see that the next step has been prepared for me. I just have to look around my environment. 

On Thursday 16th June 2022, at 2pm my son  went to work as usual, which thankfully is 2 minutes away from our home. He came home ten minutes later with the news.

At 3pm, he had his weekly hourly mentoring session scheduled with Ruth, his mentor from the college. I encouraged him to share the news with her. Ruth and the team at the college have been amazing. Ruth shared insights with my son from her vast store of wisdom.  

She told him not to beat himself up. This was not his fault.

With her support, he now has the next steps planned. As his mum I will be supporting him with one set of skills. As his informal ADHD coach, I will be supporting him with another set of skills. The two often intertwine and overlap.

He spent the entire weekend holed up in his room, depressed and beating himself up. 

How does an ADHD mum get through this?

Watch this space for further updates. 

—–

Is your ADHD child struggling in their education system? Are their teachers who are supposed to know better, doing more damage than good?

Stop struggling. Stop complaining. Start to empower yourself. Start to believe in your ability to help your child.

As your child’s ADHD mum. You don’t need to stand by watching helplessly as your child gets destroyed, little by little, more and more each day by the education system that claims to support your child.

As your child’s mum, please understand that you and only you have the power to support your ADHD child. You and only you can stop the ignorance, and empower your ADHD child to be the best person that they can be. 

Knowledge is power. You will find that knowledge in my bestselling book “Own Your ADHD” Take the book to your ADHD child’s next Parent Teacher meeting. Show it to your ADHD child’s Senco, share it with your child’s teacher. 

Join my FB group for Creative ADHD Mums here.

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