Kayleigh Nicol's Blog: The Broken Wing
March 27, 2023
On Being Non-Binary
I wore a tuxedo to my high school prom.
And I loved it.
Ten of ten, would do again.
See, I never really liked wearing dresses--or anything traditionally associated with "femininity," really. Every Sunday, my parents would argue, threaten, and fight with me about wearing a dress to church, and every Sunday I argued, threatened, and fought back. In my opinion, neither side was right or wrong, but I also don't feel like there was a good argument for forcing a female child into a dress to attend a religious gathering preaching love and acceptance for all. The only argument offered to me was based on "tradition." To be fair, my only argument was that I hated dresses and anything considered "girly." Back then, I didn't have the ability to articulate exactly what it was about dresses and traditionally feminine accessories that made me so uncomfortable. It wasn't just that dresses made me feel cold, or that they limited my ability to move and play with other children. It was more than shoes that pinched, delicate pantyhose that ripped and ran, or a total lack of pockets. I hated how wearing a dress made me feel about myself.
I felt weak.
Singled-out.
Exposed.
Just...all around uncomfortable.
And those feelings were made worse by the realization that other girls and women didn't feel the way I felt. Other women could look and feel empowered by dresses, high heels, polished nails, and artfully applied makeup. As far as I knew, I was the only one who felt different. I felt like I wasn't meeting the expectation of my gender. I felt like I didn't fit.
People kept telling me that feeling would go away someday. That I'd wake up and accept the identity that had been thrust upon me, and that I'd discover I enjoyed getting up early to style my hair, apply makeup, and carry a purse (because useful pockets are a ridiculous expectation in women's clothing). I heard this refrain so often that I felt like I had to prove everyone wrong--that it wasn't just a phase, and that looking like/acting like/being a woman simply wasn't me.
So I rented a tuxedo to wear to prom.
And let me just say: Best. Decision. Ever!
I may not have been the most beautiful belle at the ball, but I was comfortable. Happy. Secure. I was me. The jacket kept me warm, but if I got too hot, I could take it off. That may not sound important, but at one point or another, most girls at the prom were wearing their dates' jackets to keep from shivering. And I had pockets! Not just in my trousers, but inner-jacket pockets! (Just as a side note: why don't women's blazers and jackets have breast pockets?) The best thing about wearing a tux (this one's weird, but stay with me) was that I didn't need help using the restroom. Lots of the poofy dress-wearers needed help corralling their skirts inside the bathroom stalls, and I was grateful not to be one of them.
I was never much of a "girl" while I was growing up--which is to say, I didn't have many "feminine" interests. I couldn't relate to girls my own age, and most couldn't relate to me, either. My interests were video games, anime, and card games, like Magic the Gathering, and where I grew up, those were considered "boy things." So all my friends were boys. We laughed at crude jokes, consumed unsafe amounts of junk food, and even scuffled a few times. I was outspoken and opinionated, and I didn't tolerate being bullied, much to the surprise of many adults who thought they could speak down to me. Unfortunately for them, I learned the art of the argument from my father the attorney, and I had a tongue as sharp as my mind. And almost every time I stymied someone older than myself, I'd get the same disapproving glare followed by a declaration that I'd never find a good husband if I didn't learn to mind my manners.
But honestly? If my manners scared away any potential suitors--Good! They weren't worth my energy, anyway.
My parents kept expecting me to grow out of that so-called "tomboy phase," but I never really did. Sure, I grew up, but my interests never really changed. I continued to play video games and watch anime throughout college, wearing my old faded jeans and geeky t-shirts, with a Duo Maxwell braid that reached my belt. No makeup, no purse, just me living my truth. The only time my gender mattered at all was in choosing which public restroom to use. Even though my interests were loosely labeled as "masculine," I never felt like or identified as a man--though I do recall that the few times I was misgendered and referred to as "he" or "him," I always felt like I had to hide a little smile. It wasn't so much that being called he/him felt right to me, but it felt better than she/her had ever felt. I think that, more than anything, helped me understand how my self-identity didn't match my perceived-identity, but back then, I didn't know there were options outside of "female" or "male."
Imagine my euphoria when I discovered that there were genders beyond the binary! Understanding gender as a spectrum was a life-changing moment for me. My whole life, I just thought I was "weird" and that I didn't really "fit." Now, I not only have a label for my gender expression, but I know that there are thousands of people who feel like I do--and many more besides! And while these resources didn't exist while I was growing up, it's wonderful to know that they exist for young nonbinaries discovering their own identities. While the path of self discovery is often a difficult one, I hope that future enbies will face less gender-specific bias and discrimination, or feel pressured to mask their true selves, the way that many of us have. Myself included.
As enlightening as it was to learn about the gender spectrum and to finally find a label that represented how I felt about myself, I was still hesitant to claim it. I felt like I was too old to change the way people saw me, or ask people I knew to use a new set of pronouns. As long as I knew how I felt about myself, then it shouldn't matter what anyone else thought of me. Right? Except... I really am nonbinary. And continuing to live my life under the label of "woman" felt wrong, like I was living a lie. I finally found the piece of myself that had been missing! Why should I hide it away?
Because, what if people don't believe me? What if people argue with me about my own identity? What if they laugh? What if they ask me about all the times I did wear a dress, or put on makeup, or got my hair styled for an event? What if I'm actually an imposter? There's no way to "prove" a nonbinary identity, it all comes down to a personal feeling, an internal knowledge of self. I had only just found this new identity, and I felt like I had to protect it.
For everyone who can relate to this self-doubt, these questions, and these fears, always remember that you never have to prove anything to anyone. Not your gender, not your sexuality, nothing. And you certainly don't have to justify any of your past actions, whether they support your identity or not. Anyone who tells you that your gender expression isn't "real" or accuses you of faking it, tell them to go jump in a lake. No one gets to dictate your truth to you.
But for anyone feeling anxious, depressed, or just afraid to challenge the gender binary out loud: I see you. I was scared at first, too. In fact, the first time I identified as nonbinary was online, on a social media account that wasn't linked to me, nor followed by any of my friends and family. The first time someone referred to me as "they," I felt my heart truly soar! That, more than anything, helped me discuss my gender identity with my family and close friends. And you know what? There were no questions, no demands for me to explain myself, no challenges to my new identity. And it feels good, knowing that the people closest to me know and accept me for how I truly see myself. But to anyone struggling about whether or not to come out as a nonbinary gender, agender, or any queer identity at all, my advice is to take your time and make sure you feel comfortable when (and if) you choose to talk about how you personally identify. Your journey is your own. You get to decide who walks with you, and who you leave behind.
Choose love. And always love yourself first.
And I loved it.
Ten of ten, would do again.
See, I never really liked wearing dresses--or anything traditionally associated with "femininity," really. Every Sunday, my parents would argue, threaten, and fight with me about wearing a dress to church, and every Sunday I argued, threatened, and fought back. In my opinion, neither side was right or wrong, but I also don't feel like there was a good argument for forcing a female child into a dress to attend a religious gathering preaching love and acceptance for all. The only argument offered to me was based on "tradition." To be fair, my only argument was that I hated dresses and anything considered "girly." Back then, I didn't have the ability to articulate exactly what it was about dresses and traditionally feminine accessories that made me so uncomfortable. It wasn't just that dresses made me feel cold, or that they limited my ability to move and play with other children. It was more than shoes that pinched, delicate pantyhose that ripped and ran, or a total lack of pockets. I hated how wearing a dress made me feel about myself.
I felt weak.
Singled-out.
Exposed.
Just...all around uncomfortable.
And those feelings were made worse by the realization that other girls and women didn't feel the way I felt. Other women could look and feel empowered by dresses, high heels, polished nails, and artfully applied makeup. As far as I knew, I was the only one who felt different. I felt like I wasn't meeting the expectation of my gender. I felt like I didn't fit.
People kept telling me that feeling would go away someday. That I'd wake up and accept the identity that had been thrust upon me, and that I'd discover I enjoyed getting up early to style my hair, apply makeup, and carry a purse (because useful pockets are a ridiculous expectation in women's clothing). I heard this refrain so often that I felt like I had to prove everyone wrong--that it wasn't just a phase, and that looking like/acting like/being a woman simply wasn't me.
So I rented a tuxedo to wear to prom.
And let me just say: Best. Decision. Ever!
I may not have been the most beautiful belle at the ball, but I was comfortable. Happy. Secure. I was me. The jacket kept me warm, but if I got too hot, I could take it off. That may not sound important, but at one point or another, most girls at the prom were wearing their dates' jackets to keep from shivering. And I had pockets! Not just in my trousers, but inner-jacket pockets! (Just as a side note: why don't women's blazers and jackets have breast pockets?) The best thing about wearing a tux (this one's weird, but stay with me) was that I didn't need help using the restroom. Lots of the poofy dress-wearers needed help corralling their skirts inside the bathroom stalls, and I was grateful not to be one of them.
I was never much of a "girl" while I was growing up--which is to say, I didn't have many "feminine" interests. I couldn't relate to girls my own age, and most couldn't relate to me, either. My interests were video games, anime, and card games, like Magic the Gathering, and where I grew up, those were considered "boy things." So all my friends were boys. We laughed at crude jokes, consumed unsafe amounts of junk food, and even scuffled a few times. I was outspoken and opinionated, and I didn't tolerate being bullied, much to the surprise of many adults who thought they could speak down to me. Unfortunately for them, I learned the art of the argument from my father the attorney, and I had a tongue as sharp as my mind. And almost every time I stymied someone older than myself, I'd get the same disapproving glare followed by a declaration that I'd never find a good husband if I didn't learn to mind my manners.
But honestly? If my manners scared away any potential suitors--Good! They weren't worth my energy, anyway.
My parents kept expecting me to grow out of that so-called "tomboy phase," but I never really did. Sure, I grew up, but my interests never really changed. I continued to play video games and watch anime throughout college, wearing my old faded jeans and geeky t-shirts, with a Duo Maxwell braid that reached my belt. No makeup, no purse, just me living my truth. The only time my gender mattered at all was in choosing which public restroom to use. Even though my interests were loosely labeled as "masculine," I never felt like or identified as a man--though I do recall that the few times I was misgendered and referred to as "he" or "him," I always felt like I had to hide a little smile. It wasn't so much that being called he/him felt right to me, but it felt better than she/her had ever felt. I think that, more than anything, helped me understand how my self-identity didn't match my perceived-identity, but back then, I didn't know there were options outside of "female" or "male."
Imagine my euphoria when I discovered that there were genders beyond the binary! Understanding gender as a spectrum was a life-changing moment for me. My whole life, I just thought I was "weird" and that I didn't really "fit." Now, I not only have a label for my gender expression, but I know that there are thousands of people who feel like I do--and many more besides! And while these resources didn't exist while I was growing up, it's wonderful to know that they exist for young nonbinaries discovering their own identities. While the path of self discovery is often a difficult one, I hope that future enbies will face less gender-specific bias and discrimination, or feel pressured to mask their true selves, the way that many of us have. Myself included.
As enlightening as it was to learn about the gender spectrum and to finally find a label that represented how I felt about myself, I was still hesitant to claim it. I felt like I was too old to change the way people saw me, or ask people I knew to use a new set of pronouns. As long as I knew how I felt about myself, then it shouldn't matter what anyone else thought of me. Right? Except... I really am nonbinary. And continuing to live my life under the label of "woman" felt wrong, like I was living a lie. I finally found the piece of myself that had been missing! Why should I hide it away?
Because, what if people don't believe me? What if people argue with me about my own identity? What if they laugh? What if they ask me about all the times I did wear a dress, or put on makeup, or got my hair styled for an event? What if I'm actually an imposter? There's no way to "prove" a nonbinary identity, it all comes down to a personal feeling, an internal knowledge of self. I had only just found this new identity, and I felt like I had to protect it.
For everyone who can relate to this self-doubt, these questions, and these fears, always remember that you never have to prove anything to anyone. Not your gender, not your sexuality, nothing. And you certainly don't have to justify any of your past actions, whether they support your identity or not. Anyone who tells you that your gender expression isn't "real" or accuses you of faking it, tell them to go jump in a lake. No one gets to dictate your truth to you.
But for anyone feeling anxious, depressed, or just afraid to challenge the gender binary out loud: I see you. I was scared at first, too. In fact, the first time I identified as nonbinary was online, on a social media account that wasn't linked to me, nor followed by any of my friends and family. The first time someone referred to me as "they," I felt my heart truly soar! That, more than anything, helped me discuss my gender identity with my family and close friends. And you know what? There were no questions, no demands for me to explain myself, no challenges to my new identity. And it feels good, knowing that the people closest to me know and accept me for how I truly see myself. But to anyone struggling about whether or not to come out as a nonbinary gender, agender, or any queer identity at all, my advice is to take your time and make sure you feel comfortable when (and if) you choose to talk about how you personally identify. Your journey is your own. You get to decide who walks with you, and who you leave behind.
Choose love. And always love yourself first.
October 12, 2022
Video Games as Tools for Everyday Life
If you've been following this blog, you probably know by now that I love video games. I play games to challenge myself, to decrease stress, to socialize, to get out of my own head, and sometimes just to relax. Video games offer a sense of accomplishment that I don't often find in other activities and I love the feeling I get when I complete a game after finishing all the side missions and collecting all the end-game gear and weapons. When World of Warcraft instituted the achievement system, I lost myself for months, just digging into all the extra feats I could accomplish just to see that "Completed Achievement" banner flash across my screen. It was addicting.
I'm sure almost everyone knows the value of playing video games for fun. But what about using video games as tools in our every day life? Sure, some games are intentionally geared towards education and training. I still remember the game "Mario Teaches Typing" which was supposed to help me learn to type without looking at the keyboard (spoiler alert: it didn't) and I know flight simulators are used to help train pilots and astronauts, and of course there are games for children to help them learn reading and writing and other skills, but what if video games could motivate you to complete the tasks you have to do every day? When I first realized my video game addiction was overtaking my life, my first solution was to restrict my hours of play time and to only allow myself to play after I finished all necessary tasks first, like chores, errands, and homework. While this worked for a while, it wasn't a perfect solution, because whenever a new game came out (or new content was released for an online game) I would ignore the rules I set for myself and lose myself for a day or two (or longer) until I could pull away and make myself focus again.
But then I learned how to make my video game addiction work for me.
It started with the Nintendo fitness game called "Wii Fit." The game actually had a pedometer as an accessory, which had in-game functions that were affected by the number of steps I took that day. There were also tons of exercises disguised as games, as well as workout routines led by an AI instructor. The game utilized controllers and a scale called the balance board to track movement and whether exercises were completed accurately or not. For me, the best part was that the game celebrated the workout streaks, so if you played every day for a week, the game would rain down confetti, the in-game avatar would dance, and it gave me a happy feeling of accomplishment. I was working out, but I was also having fun, so it worked for me and became part of my routine. I still routinely play exercise and rhythm games, both for the cardio as well as that feeling of accomplishment. If anyone knows about a game that combines the RPG elements from Nintendo's RingFit game with the rhythm boxing/martial arts routines from Knockout Home Fitness, please tell me about it in the comments!
So that's great for exercise, but I'm a writer, and I need to write a minimum count of new words each day in order to meet my publishing deadlines. Is there any way video games can help with that?
As it turns out, yes! About four years ago, I discovered a website called 4TheWords.com and it's literally a video game where I fight monsters using only my words. That sounds strange, doesn't it? Basically, it's a subscription website where players get to travel through a little fantasy world that is overwhelmed with cutesy little monsters, each of which require a different number of words to defeat. The players pick up quests to fight different monsters or collect certain in-game items, and earn rewards like armor (which aids your stats), treasure chests (full of coins and crafting equipment) or wardrobe items (to dress up you avatars!). Since discovering this website, my daily word count isn't just higher than it's ever been, I am actively excited to get up and start typing every single morning. It's like logging on to my favorite game at work! And my sense of accomplishment is two-fold, because not only did I beat a high word-count monster, complete a quest, or earn a new item, but I'm also that much closer to finishing my novel. It's a video game that motivates me to get to work, to write more words each day, and helps me organize all my outlines, chapters, journals and blog posts. This was the exact tool I needed to help me focus on my career as a writer--I can't imagine writing without it!
What makes this site even better are the events that coincide with NaNoWriMo months. For anyone unfamiliar with NaNoWriMo, it's an organization that encourages aspiring writers to get the words out of their heads and onto the page by helping writers set goals and record their progress towards achieving them. For more information, check out NaNoWriMo.org. For every Nano event, 4TheWords creates a temporary in-game event that encourages players to write even more than usual with unique quests, exciting rewards, and community goals. While the main content on the site is extensive and would take a great number of words to clear, the special events bring a spark of something new, and the limited amount of time increases productivity in order to complete the event and win all the shiny new rewards. And for me, that's exactly what I need to keep focused on my current project.
Another fun thing is that I can use the game's Dust Warrior avatars to create mock-ups of the characters in my books! As someone with zero artistic talent, this function helps me remember how I've described my characters without having to stop and search through my document. It's also just really fun to play with! If you’d like, you can check out a few examples of character avatars on my Twitter or on my blog at www.KayleighNicol.com.
If I have any writers following me who are interested in checking out 4TheWords, feel free to use my referral code STYZT66367 and send me a friend request. I'm always looking for more writing buddies and I love helping new Dust Warriors begin their journey!
Does anyone else have a favorite video game they use as an everyday tool? Tell me all about them in the comments!
I'm sure almost everyone knows the value of playing video games for fun. But what about using video games as tools in our every day life? Sure, some games are intentionally geared towards education and training. I still remember the game "Mario Teaches Typing" which was supposed to help me learn to type without looking at the keyboard (spoiler alert: it didn't) and I know flight simulators are used to help train pilots and astronauts, and of course there are games for children to help them learn reading and writing and other skills, but what if video games could motivate you to complete the tasks you have to do every day? When I first realized my video game addiction was overtaking my life, my first solution was to restrict my hours of play time and to only allow myself to play after I finished all necessary tasks first, like chores, errands, and homework. While this worked for a while, it wasn't a perfect solution, because whenever a new game came out (or new content was released for an online game) I would ignore the rules I set for myself and lose myself for a day or two (or longer) until I could pull away and make myself focus again.
But then I learned how to make my video game addiction work for me.
It started with the Nintendo fitness game called "Wii Fit." The game actually had a pedometer as an accessory, which had in-game functions that were affected by the number of steps I took that day. There were also tons of exercises disguised as games, as well as workout routines led by an AI instructor. The game utilized controllers and a scale called the balance board to track movement and whether exercises were completed accurately or not. For me, the best part was that the game celebrated the workout streaks, so if you played every day for a week, the game would rain down confetti, the in-game avatar would dance, and it gave me a happy feeling of accomplishment. I was working out, but I was also having fun, so it worked for me and became part of my routine. I still routinely play exercise and rhythm games, both for the cardio as well as that feeling of accomplishment. If anyone knows about a game that combines the RPG elements from Nintendo's RingFit game with the rhythm boxing/martial arts routines from Knockout Home Fitness, please tell me about it in the comments!
So that's great for exercise, but I'm a writer, and I need to write a minimum count of new words each day in order to meet my publishing deadlines. Is there any way video games can help with that?
As it turns out, yes! About four years ago, I discovered a website called 4TheWords.com and it's literally a video game where I fight monsters using only my words. That sounds strange, doesn't it? Basically, it's a subscription website where players get to travel through a little fantasy world that is overwhelmed with cutesy little monsters, each of which require a different number of words to defeat. The players pick up quests to fight different monsters or collect certain in-game items, and earn rewards like armor (which aids your stats), treasure chests (full of coins and crafting equipment) or wardrobe items (to dress up you avatars!). Since discovering this website, my daily word count isn't just higher than it's ever been, I am actively excited to get up and start typing every single morning. It's like logging on to my favorite game at work! And my sense of accomplishment is two-fold, because not only did I beat a high word-count monster, complete a quest, or earn a new item, but I'm also that much closer to finishing my novel. It's a video game that motivates me to get to work, to write more words each day, and helps me organize all my outlines, chapters, journals and blog posts. This was the exact tool I needed to help me focus on my career as a writer--I can't imagine writing without it!
What makes this site even better are the events that coincide with NaNoWriMo months. For anyone unfamiliar with NaNoWriMo, it's an organization that encourages aspiring writers to get the words out of their heads and onto the page by helping writers set goals and record their progress towards achieving them. For more information, check out NaNoWriMo.org. For every Nano event, 4TheWords creates a temporary in-game event that encourages players to write even more than usual with unique quests, exciting rewards, and community goals. While the main content on the site is extensive and would take a great number of words to clear, the special events bring a spark of something new, and the limited amount of time increases productivity in order to complete the event and win all the shiny new rewards. And for me, that's exactly what I need to keep focused on my current project.
Another fun thing is that I can use the game's Dust Warrior avatars to create mock-ups of the characters in my books! As someone with zero artistic talent, this function helps me remember how I've described my characters without having to stop and search through my document. It's also just really fun to play with! If you’d like, you can check out a few examples of character avatars on my Twitter or on my blog at www.KayleighNicol.com.
If I have any writers following me who are interested in checking out 4TheWords, feel free to use my referral code STYZT66367 and send me a friend request. I'm always looking for more writing buddies and I love helping new Dust Warriors begin their journey!
Does anyone else have a favorite video game they use as an everyday tool? Tell me all about them in the comments!
August 27, 2022
New Collaboration Series Shattered Legacy
It’s finally here! I can finally share information about my first collaboration, my first progression fantasy series, and my first traditionally published book!! I am so incredibly excited to tell you all about it, but first: for those of you visiting for the first time, welcome! I am primarily an independent author of fantasy novels featuring swords, sorcery, and adventure. My self-published series,
The Mage-Born Chronicles
, is currently ongoing with four books available so far and a fifth currently in the works. My first book, Sorcerous Rivalry, received a few literary awards including being named to Kirkus’ Reviews Best Books of 2020. If you enjoy epic fantasy, magical battles, and a touch of LBGTQIA+ romance, then I have some great news for you at the end of this blog post!
And now, without further ado, it is my pleasure to announce that my newest series, Shattered Legacy, is not only a collaboration with the esteemed Andrew Rowe and his Arcane Ascension series, but it is also being produced and distributed through Podium Audio!
Phew! It’s been tough holding that in for so long, haha! Andrew and I actually started working on this project about two years ago, when Andrew asked me if I would be interested in contributing to his expanded universe. As a long-time reader of his works, saying “Yes!” was the easy part. Coming up with the right pitch for a new series… That took some work. In the end, it all boiled down to what I wanted to see more of within the Arcane Ascension series: more magic, more spire challenges, and more intriguingly diverse characters. After exchanging several outlines, story concepts and TONS of questions about the magic system (sorry, Andrew!) we arrived at what is now the Shattered Legacy series.
The Shattered Legacy series will be a journey around Kaldwyn as a team of professional climbers embark upon a quest given to them by an unusual being. While it’s not entirely necessary to have read Andrew’s Arcane Ascension series to enjoy Shattered Legacy, knowledge of Andrew’s established world definitely gives a deeper understanding of the magic system, religion, and regional politics on the continent of Kaldwyn. For readers just beginning to explore Kaldwyn, a special introduction has been included (written by Andrew Rowe) to best explain the magic and environment of this unique setting.
The first book of the series, Crystal Awakening, is scheduled for release on November 29th, 2022 and is currently available for pre-order on Audible. It is my pleasure to share that Crystal Awakening will have not one, but TWO incredible narrators: Travis Baldree and Emily Lawrence! Many audiobook fans will recognize Travis Baldree from several amazing LitRPG series, such as Cradle and The Beginning After the End. Emily Lawrence, narrator of over 450 different works, wields in-depth knowledge of the Arcane Ascension universe from her time playing roles in Andrew’s live-action role-playing game campaigns, as well as her time as a game-runner for Rendalir Remembered, a spin-off campaign set in the same universe. Pre-order your copy of Crystal Awakening on Audible here! Pre-orders for other formats of Crystal Awakening, such as electronic and paperback, are not yet available at this time.
And for anyone interested in seeing some truly amazing cover art… Sorry, but you’ll have to wait for the official cover art reveal! If you like, you can follow me on Twitter, because I will certainly be sharing the link for the official cover reveal once it goes live. I can’t wait for everyone to see this beautiful work of art!
And for any new readers who would like to familiarize themselves with my writing style prior to Crystal Awakening’s release, great news! Electronic editions of my books Sorcerous Rivalry and The Mage-Born Anthology will be available for only 0.99c/0.99p through Amazon Kindle starting August 29th until September 5th (US and UK only). My original series would be considered a ‘softer’ magic system than fans from the Arcane Ascension universe are used to. The story follows a roguish mage with shapeshifting powers who attempts to survive in a kingdom where the use of magic has been outlawed. With a determined mage hunter on his tail, Reshi seeks out his family for protection, only to find that a dangerous rivalry for power has put him in a more precarious position than ever. If you’re a fan of swords and sorcery, found family, and enemies-to-lovers relationships, don’t miss out on this great sale!
Thank you to everyone stopping by to check out this blog today. I hope to see you here often! As always: Happy Reading!
And now, without further ado, it is my pleasure to announce that my newest series, Shattered Legacy, is not only a collaboration with the esteemed Andrew Rowe and his Arcane Ascension series, but it is also being produced and distributed through Podium Audio!
Phew! It’s been tough holding that in for so long, haha! Andrew and I actually started working on this project about two years ago, when Andrew asked me if I would be interested in contributing to his expanded universe. As a long-time reader of his works, saying “Yes!” was the easy part. Coming up with the right pitch for a new series… That took some work. In the end, it all boiled down to what I wanted to see more of within the Arcane Ascension series: more magic, more spire challenges, and more intriguingly diverse characters. After exchanging several outlines, story concepts and TONS of questions about the magic system (sorry, Andrew!) we arrived at what is now the Shattered Legacy series.
The Shattered Legacy series will be a journey around Kaldwyn as a team of professional climbers embark upon a quest given to them by an unusual being. While it’s not entirely necessary to have read Andrew’s Arcane Ascension series to enjoy Shattered Legacy, knowledge of Andrew’s established world definitely gives a deeper understanding of the magic system, religion, and regional politics on the continent of Kaldwyn. For readers just beginning to explore Kaldwyn, a special introduction has been included (written by Andrew Rowe) to best explain the magic and environment of this unique setting.
The first book of the series, Crystal Awakening, is scheduled for release on November 29th, 2022 and is currently available for pre-order on Audible. It is my pleasure to share that Crystal Awakening will have not one, but TWO incredible narrators: Travis Baldree and Emily Lawrence! Many audiobook fans will recognize Travis Baldree from several amazing LitRPG series, such as Cradle and The Beginning After the End. Emily Lawrence, narrator of over 450 different works, wields in-depth knowledge of the Arcane Ascension universe from her time playing roles in Andrew’s live-action role-playing game campaigns, as well as her time as a game-runner for Rendalir Remembered, a spin-off campaign set in the same universe. Pre-order your copy of Crystal Awakening on Audible here! Pre-orders for other formats of Crystal Awakening, such as electronic and paperback, are not yet available at this time.
And for anyone interested in seeing some truly amazing cover art… Sorry, but you’ll have to wait for the official cover art reveal! If you like, you can follow me on Twitter, because I will certainly be sharing the link for the official cover reveal once it goes live. I can’t wait for everyone to see this beautiful work of art!
And for any new readers who would like to familiarize themselves with my writing style prior to Crystal Awakening’s release, great news! Electronic editions of my books Sorcerous Rivalry and The Mage-Born Anthology will be available for only 0.99c/0.99p through Amazon Kindle starting August 29th until September 5th (US and UK only). My original series would be considered a ‘softer’ magic system than fans from the Arcane Ascension universe are used to. The story follows a roguish mage with shapeshifting powers who attempts to survive in a kingdom where the use of magic has been outlawed. With a determined mage hunter on his tail, Reshi seeks out his family for protection, only to find that a dangerous rivalry for power has put him in a more precarious position than ever. If you’re a fan of swords and sorcery, found family, and enemies-to-lovers relationships, don’t miss out on this great sale!
Thank you to everyone stopping by to check out this blog today. I hope to see you here often! As always: Happy Reading!
June 17, 2022
An Update (of sorts…)
I know some of you are eager for the fourth book of the Mage-Born Chronicles, and believe me: I am too! I wish I had good news to share, but all I can offer you is the truth.
I have attempted to write this story three times, writing easily over three hundred thousand words, using different perspectives, different plot devices, different pacing and just…none of it has made a story I am proud of. I have put this story away, picked it up again, reread it, tried editing it, gave up and started over from scratch twice now. And I’m about to do it again.
I am not giving up on writing the fourth book in Reshi and Kestral’s story–I am fully committed to finishing it. But I can’t compromise on what is likely to be the final book in this series. I will continue to work, to write, and to find the right way to tell this story, otherwise I couldn’t be satisfied with it, and neither could my readers.
There is some very positive news about a new project of mine that I hope to be able to share with you all soon, but for now all I can say is that I have been working very hard on a new and exciting story, and I really can’t wait to share it with you all!
Thank you all so much for your patience and your support. Please stay safe, happy and well!
I have attempted to write this story three times, writing easily over three hundred thousand words, using different perspectives, different plot devices, different pacing and just…none of it has made a story I am proud of. I have put this story away, picked it up again, reread it, tried editing it, gave up and started over from scratch twice now. And I’m about to do it again.
I am not giving up on writing the fourth book in Reshi and Kestral’s story–I am fully committed to finishing it. But I can’t compromise on what is likely to be the final book in this series. I will continue to work, to write, and to find the right way to tell this story, otherwise I couldn’t be satisfied with it, and neither could my readers.
There is some very positive news about a new project of mine that I hope to be able to share with you all soon, but for now all I can say is that I have been working very hard on a new and exciting story, and I really can’t wait to share it with you all!
Thank you all so much for your patience and your support. Please stay safe, happy and well!
Christmas Memories
I posted this on my website on Christmas Eve last year and forgot to upload it.
I know this time of year means a lot of different things to different people. I think many might associate it with family, whether that’s in the form of gifts, cards, calls, or visiting in person, family is usually a strong element to the holidays. As much as I enjoy family, my favorite Christmases were the ones were I worked most of the day.
That sounds strange, right? Choosing work over presents, food and loved ones? Is it even weirder if I admit I wasn’t even paid for this work? Well, the experience more than made up for all of that! You see, for years I used to volunteer at a local aquarium that only closed to the public one day a year, and that was Christmas day. While preparing diets for seals, sea lions, sea otters, penguins and many other animals in the aquarium’s collection was as laborious as ever, what made it worthwhile was having an entire empty aquarium to enjoy in ways that couldn’t be experienced when it was full of guests. The penguins could waddle from exhibit to exhibit, staring at tropical fish they would never have seen from their own exhibit, sea otters were given brand new toys to play with, and volunteers could have their pictures taken with the sea lions (who would give them a little kiss if they’d been good that year!). I’ll always remember it as a magical experience, almost akin to visiting a sparkling theme park without any of the lines or crowds.
The one experience I know I will never forget was when the staff allowed the two arctic fox pups to run through the underwater sea lion tunnel. They chased each other back and forth, play-fighting over a single stickleback (a tiny fish about the size of a minnow, used to feed the puffins). They didn’t like the taste of the stickleback, so neither of them actually wanted to eat it, they each just wanted the “toy” for themselves, so they stole it back and forth, running up and down the sea lion tunnel. The sea lions, noticing the activity, joined in the fun, swimming alongside the pups and watching their skirmishes with interest. The most amazing moment came when one of the pups noticed the sea lions and stopped to stare through the window at them. The sea lion stared back, equally entranced by the strange creature staring in at him. It was simply magic, watching two species discover and acknowledge each other. I don’t know where else one finds that sort of experience and I feel privileged to have witnessed it.
I’ve since moved away from that aquarium and it’s been years since I’ve visited, but this time of year always has me thinking back to it, remembering those times and all the fun I had working on Christmas day. Everyone talks about “magic” this time of year and while some don’t believe in it, I do. There is magic everywhere if you’re looking for it. To all my wonderful readers, I hope some form of magic finds you and greets you this holiday season, giving you an experience that you remember for years to come.
Happy Holidays!
I know this time of year means a lot of different things to different people. I think many might associate it with family, whether that’s in the form of gifts, cards, calls, or visiting in person, family is usually a strong element to the holidays. As much as I enjoy family, my favorite Christmases were the ones were I worked most of the day.
That sounds strange, right? Choosing work over presents, food and loved ones? Is it even weirder if I admit I wasn’t even paid for this work? Well, the experience more than made up for all of that! You see, for years I used to volunteer at a local aquarium that only closed to the public one day a year, and that was Christmas day. While preparing diets for seals, sea lions, sea otters, penguins and many other animals in the aquarium’s collection was as laborious as ever, what made it worthwhile was having an entire empty aquarium to enjoy in ways that couldn’t be experienced when it was full of guests. The penguins could waddle from exhibit to exhibit, staring at tropical fish they would never have seen from their own exhibit, sea otters were given brand new toys to play with, and volunteers could have their pictures taken with the sea lions (who would give them a little kiss if they’d been good that year!). I’ll always remember it as a magical experience, almost akin to visiting a sparkling theme park without any of the lines or crowds.
The one experience I know I will never forget was when the staff allowed the two arctic fox pups to run through the underwater sea lion tunnel. They chased each other back and forth, play-fighting over a single stickleback (a tiny fish about the size of a minnow, used to feed the puffins). They didn’t like the taste of the stickleback, so neither of them actually wanted to eat it, they each just wanted the “toy” for themselves, so they stole it back and forth, running up and down the sea lion tunnel. The sea lions, noticing the activity, joined in the fun, swimming alongside the pups and watching their skirmishes with interest. The most amazing moment came when one of the pups noticed the sea lions and stopped to stare through the window at them. The sea lion stared back, equally entranced by the strange creature staring in at him. It was simply magic, watching two species discover and acknowledge each other. I don’t know where else one finds that sort of experience and I feel privileged to have witnessed it.
I’ve since moved away from that aquarium and it’s been years since I’ve visited, but this time of year always has me thinking back to it, remembering those times and all the fun I had working on Christmas day. Everyone talks about “magic” this time of year and while some don’t believe in it, I do. There is magic everywhere if you’re looking for it. To all my wonderful readers, I hope some form of magic finds you and greets you this holiday season, giving you an experience that you remember for years to come.
Happy Holidays!
October 1, 2021
It's October now?!
Wow, is it really October? Guess it's about time for another blog post. Can't say that I've been doing anything interesting of late--I'm still mostly self-isolating due to Covid and Delta and a general annoyance with how this pandemic has been handled up until now, so there isn't much to talk about. I have been consuming an awful lot of media lately, which has probably helped keep me from going entirely stir-crazy. Thank you, TV, video games and books!
Television has been my primary means of escape, and while I don't want to bore you with detailing every single anime, cooking competition and Marvel show I've been watching, I'll share the big stand-out for me: The Untamed on Netflix. I watched this together with some friends via Discord and it was AMAZING! The costuming, setting and storytelling more than made up for a few misses on special effects. I even picked up an additional streaming service so I could watch the movies! But I think what really made this a stand-out for me was obsessing over it with friends over Discord and chat, exchanging head canons, discussing theories and comparing the drama to the book, the donghua (animated) and the manhua (comics). It's really quite a phenomenon, I'd encourage anyone to give it a try.
Video games have been another source of distraction with the added benefit of providing a mental challenge. Story of Seasons released their long-awaited "Pioneers of Olive Town" which I felt to be really engaging and challenging, with new functions of game play I hadn't seen in a farming sim before. I liked that they would be slowly releasing new DLC in the form of new bachelors/bachelorettes over time, including some of my old favorites from other games, but felt the DLC fell a little short in that the added characters didn't really interact with the main village. The premise and initial story are strong, though, so I recommend it to anyone who loves farming games.
The gacha games finally got me with Genshin Impact! I've been playing for almost a year now; I love the open world, similar to Breath of the Wild, almost as much as I enjoy winning new characters from banner pulls. For me, the best part is that expansions and updates come pretty regularly (about every six weeks), so in between updates, I can play pretty casually and focus on other things, then fully immerse myself in the new content once it drops. The character designs are beautiful and unique, and the settings and music are just gorgeous! And if you can avoid the allure of gacha, it's actually free to play.
The game that absolutely has taken the spotlight for me, though, has been Hades. I know I'm late to this party, but WOW is that a perfect game, or what? It seems simple from the outset, but gains in complexity, making each play-through different from the last. The art design was top-tier and I loved completing each side quest and unlocking every weapon aspect. My favorite boons were from Dionysus, Ares and Artemis, my favorite storyline was probably Achilles (& Patroclus!). Fast favorite game of all time and highly recommended.
Playing Hades gave me a craving to read more Greek-based books, so I reread "Song of Achilles" and "Circe," both by Madeline Miller and absolutely amazing books (though be forewarned: "Song of Achilles" is EMOTIONAL!). After those, I reread "The Captive Prince" trilogy by C.S. Pascat, which, while in a purely fantasy setting, gives me Greco-Roman vibes while reading it. There is just so much comfort in a good reread! So many amazing new books come out every single week that it's been impossible to keep up, I was even stressing myself out as I realized how far behind I've fallen on reading (I seriously still haven't read the latest Stormlight Archive book by Brandon Sanderson!) that I had to forgive myself and read some old favorites instead. I had been meaning to reread the "Six of Crows" books by Leigh Bardugo forever and it felt good to finally immerse myself in that world again. I'm hopeful for the "Six of Crows" spinoff from "Shadow and Bone," as I really loved the portrayal of the characters Kaz, Jesper and Inej, as well as the tiny glimpse we got of Ketterdam!
And oh yeah, I've been writing, too. Quite a lot, actually, but I'll have to tell you all about that another time. ^_~
I suppose that's my pandemic in a nutshell. Amidst all the bad news of the past two years, I hope everyone reading this had found pleasant ways to break the monotony and find glimmers of light through the darkness. Stay healthy and, as always, happy reading!
Television has been my primary means of escape, and while I don't want to bore you with detailing every single anime, cooking competition and Marvel show I've been watching, I'll share the big stand-out for me: The Untamed on Netflix. I watched this together with some friends via Discord and it was AMAZING! The costuming, setting and storytelling more than made up for a few misses on special effects. I even picked up an additional streaming service so I could watch the movies! But I think what really made this a stand-out for me was obsessing over it with friends over Discord and chat, exchanging head canons, discussing theories and comparing the drama to the book, the donghua (animated) and the manhua (comics). It's really quite a phenomenon, I'd encourage anyone to give it a try.
Video games have been another source of distraction with the added benefit of providing a mental challenge. Story of Seasons released their long-awaited "Pioneers of Olive Town" which I felt to be really engaging and challenging, with new functions of game play I hadn't seen in a farming sim before. I liked that they would be slowly releasing new DLC in the form of new bachelors/bachelorettes over time, including some of my old favorites from other games, but felt the DLC fell a little short in that the added characters didn't really interact with the main village. The premise and initial story are strong, though, so I recommend it to anyone who loves farming games.
The gacha games finally got me with Genshin Impact! I've been playing for almost a year now; I love the open world, similar to Breath of the Wild, almost as much as I enjoy winning new characters from banner pulls. For me, the best part is that expansions and updates come pretty regularly (about every six weeks), so in between updates, I can play pretty casually and focus on other things, then fully immerse myself in the new content once it drops. The character designs are beautiful and unique, and the settings and music are just gorgeous! And if you can avoid the allure of gacha, it's actually free to play.
The game that absolutely has taken the spotlight for me, though, has been Hades. I know I'm late to this party, but WOW is that a perfect game, or what? It seems simple from the outset, but gains in complexity, making each play-through different from the last. The art design was top-tier and I loved completing each side quest and unlocking every weapon aspect. My favorite boons were from Dionysus, Ares and Artemis, my favorite storyline was probably Achilles (& Patroclus!). Fast favorite game of all time and highly recommended.
Playing Hades gave me a craving to read more Greek-based books, so I reread "Song of Achilles" and "Circe," both by Madeline Miller and absolutely amazing books (though be forewarned: "Song of Achilles" is EMOTIONAL!). After those, I reread "The Captive Prince" trilogy by C.S. Pascat, which, while in a purely fantasy setting, gives me Greco-Roman vibes while reading it. There is just so much comfort in a good reread! So many amazing new books come out every single week that it's been impossible to keep up, I was even stressing myself out as I realized how far behind I've fallen on reading (I seriously still haven't read the latest Stormlight Archive book by Brandon Sanderson!) that I had to forgive myself and read some old favorites instead. I had been meaning to reread the "Six of Crows" books by Leigh Bardugo forever and it felt good to finally immerse myself in that world again. I'm hopeful for the "Six of Crows" spinoff from "Shadow and Bone," as I really loved the portrayal of the characters Kaz, Jesper and Inej, as well as the tiny glimpse we got of Ketterdam!
And oh yeah, I've been writing, too. Quite a lot, actually, but I'll have to tell you all about that another time. ^_~
I suppose that's my pandemic in a nutshell. Amidst all the bad news of the past two years, I hope everyone reading this had found pleasant ways to break the monotony and find glimmers of light through the darkness. Stay healthy and, as always, happy reading!
June 30, 2021
Minor Updates and Cryptic Foreshadowing
I've had a few questions about recording Mage Prince as an audiobook and while I would love, love, LOVE to make Mage Prince an audiobook, sadly it is an expensive process and I simply don't have the funds for it right now. For now, the hope is that once book four of the Mage-Born Chronicles is completed and published, I'll attempt to get both books recorded in succession and published to Audible.
Which leads to the very rational follow-up question: What's up with the fourth book in the Mage-Born Chronicles? At present, I have a rough draft complete, but it is just that: a very rough draft. It needs a lot of elbow grease and polish in order to look like something resembling a novel. I have a lot of big plans for this book, but they simply aren't coming together the way I had hoped they would, and I'm afraid it's going to take some time before I can assemble these ideas into something worth reading. I don't want to publish anything I don't feel I can be proud of, so I am taking my time with this project.
I hope that very soon I will have something very exciting to share with you all about some upcoming projects, but it's all very tentative at the moment. As soon as the news is confirmed, I will be happy to share it with you all here!
Which leads to the very rational follow-up question: What's up with the fourth book in the Mage-Born Chronicles? At present, I have a rough draft complete, but it is just that: a very rough draft. It needs a lot of elbow grease and polish in order to look like something resembling a novel. I have a lot of big plans for this book, but they simply aren't coming together the way I had hoped they would, and I'm afraid it's going to take some time before I can assemble these ideas into something worth reading. I don't want to publish anything I don't feel I can be proud of, so I am taking my time with this project.
I hope that very soon I will have something very exciting to share with you all about some upcoming projects, but it's all very tentative at the moment. As soon as the news is confirmed, I will be happy to share it with you all here!
March 6, 2021
Of Doggie Tales and Winter Storms
So for me, the whole point of moving to Texas was to get away from New York winters. Never did I imagine the winter storms would follow me down to Texas, nor that the infrastructure in the Northeast makes such storms much more bearable than the one I weathered a few weeks ago. But my family is safe, warm and healthy, and I think we can all hope that moving forward, the revelations about Texan leadership will bring about positive change for our state as a whole.
Speaking of healthy family members: my dog is finally recovered from her surgery back in November! I have to admit, I had no idea what I was in for. I thought the surgery would be the worst part, and that a few days of keeping her crated along with some bandage changes would have my precious Chromie racing around the backyard with her brother again. Unfortunately, the crate was the least of my worries. Chromie ended up developing some terrible pressure sores under the bandage, she had a few different infections and she even ended up needing an additional surgery. But after last week's check up, she finally has the all-clear to be a dog again, which makes the entire recovery process worth it. She's free of her crate and the ecollar (cone of shame!), and is once again dancing for her food every morning. I'm sure she'll miss the car rides (her favorite part of going to the vet) but I think she's grateful to be able to play with her brother and the cats again. I am grateful to no longer have to get up in the middle of the night to take her outside for a walk, especially when those walks required booties and a winter coat. More than that, I'm grateful to have my happy little girl back.
Needless to say, I have been distracted lately in caring for my dog as she recovered and my writing and online presence has suffered recently, and for that I apologize. Now that she is better (and hopefully now that winter is behind us) I hope to get back to regular updates on my writing, as well as knocking some more books off my TBR (wow, that really piled up on me!). Here's hoping that Reshi and Kestral and the gang haven't gotten up to any mischief while my back was turned!
Speaking of healthy family members: my dog is finally recovered from her surgery back in November! I have to admit, I had no idea what I was in for. I thought the surgery would be the worst part, and that a few days of keeping her crated along with some bandage changes would have my precious Chromie racing around the backyard with her brother again. Unfortunately, the crate was the least of my worries. Chromie ended up developing some terrible pressure sores under the bandage, she had a few different infections and she even ended up needing an additional surgery. But after last week's check up, she finally has the all-clear to be a dog again, which makes the entire recovery process worth it. She's free of her crate and the ecollar (cone of shame!), and is once again dancing for her food every morning. I'm sure she'll miss the car rides (her favorite part of going to the vet) but I think she's grateful to be able to play with her brother and the cats again. I am grateful to no longer have to get up in the middle of the night to take her outside for a walk, especially when those walks required booties and a winter coat. More than that, I'm grateful to have my happy little girl back.
Needless to say, I have been distracted lately in caring for my dog as she recovered and my writing and online presence has suffered recently, and for that I apologize. Now that she is better (and hopefully now that winter is behind us) I hope to get back to regular updates on my writing, as well as knocking some more books off my TBR (wow, that really piled up on me!). Here's hoping that Reshi and Kestral and the gang haven't gotten up to any mischief while my back was turned!
November 26, 2020
What I Am Grateful For
Really, everyday there is so, so much to be grateful for and Thanksgiving is a wonderful time to reflect on friendships, family members, and all the people who make your life better. I know I have so much to be grateful for, but this year I have one thing I am especially grateful for: my greyhound Chromie.
I adopted Chromie in 2017, knowing that she was a former racing greyhound from Caliente, Mexico, and that she had broken her leg while racing, which was why she retired so young. She has had a limp ever since the day I met her, but she didn't let that slow her down--she has always been cheerful and energetic and so, so very smart. She's my beautiful, clever girl.
A little over a month ago, her limp worsened and she began to lick her leg constantly. I had my vet check her out and learned that the metal plate implanted in her leg to help her heal had become infected. A round of antibiotics helped, but in order to completely solve the problem, my vet recommended surgery to have the plate removed, now that her leg is entirely healed. I was worried--greyhounds can have sensitivities to anesthesia--but my vet recommended a wonderful surgeon and even if it was quite a drive and my baby was out of the house for a few days, so far it has all been worth it.
Chromie is home now and she looks better every day! She is still kennel-bound to keep from moving too much, but she is still cheerful, energetic, smart and loving. Taking care of her post-surgery is a bit of a chore, but I'm so grateful to be able to care for her the way she needs. I look forward to the day she gets her leg splint off so she can run and play again.
Picture of Chromie on my blog!
I adopted Chromie in 2017, knowing that she was a former racing greyhound from Caliente, Mexico, and that she had broken her leg while racing, which was why she retired so young. She has had a limp ever since the day I met her, but she didn't let that slow her down--she has always been cheerful and energetic and so, so very smart. She's my beautiful, clever girl.
A little over a month ago, her limp worsened and she began to lick her leg constantly. I had my vet check her out and learned that the metal plate implanted in her leg to help her heal had become infected. A round of antibiotics helped, but in order to completely solve the problem, my vet recommended surgery to have the plate removed, now that her leg is entirely healed. I was worried--greyhounds can have sensitivities to anesthesia--but my vet recommended a wonderful surgeon and even if it was quite a drive and my baby was out of the house for a few days, so far it has all been worth it.
Chromie is home now and she looks better every day! She is still kennel-bound to keep from moving too much, but she is still cheerful, energetic, smart and loving. Taking care of her post-surgery is a bit of a chore, but I'm so grateful to be able to care for her the way she needs. I look forward to the day she gets her leg splint off so she can run and play again.
Picture of Chromie on my blog!
October 3, 2020
Mage Prince is LIVE!
Book Three of the Mage-Born Chronicles is finally live! You can pick up either the ebook or the paperback on Amazon!
If you've read the first two books and you're not sure about book three, you can check out this amazing review from RockStarLit Book Asylum as well as listen to a song chosen to fit the theme of the book. These reviews always get me so jazzed!
And if you haven't tried my other books yet, GREAT NEWS! The ebooks for Sorcerous Rivalry, Mistress Mage AND The Mage-Born Anthology are all on sale for 99c/99p through Sunday! So go ahead and treat yourself to a fun, new series!
As always, Happy Reading!
If you've read the first two books and you're not sure about book three, you can check out this amazing review from RockStarLit Book Asylum as well as listen to a song chosen to fit the theme of the book. These reviews always get me so jazzed!
And if you haven't tried my other books yet, GREAT NEWS! The ebooks for Sorcerous Rivalry, Mistress Mage AND The Mage-Born Anthology are all on sale for 99c/99p through Sunday! So go ahead and treat yourself to a fun, new series!
As always, Happy Reading!
The Broken Wing
Come in, sit a spell, enjoy a drink or two, but beware what gifts you accept from fairies!
- Kayleigh Nicol's profile
- 74 followers
