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5 Actions You Can Take Right Now to Cultivate Hope.

With all that’s happening in the world today, from the pandemic to the protests and now to the start of the hurricane and fires seasons, you might be experiencing a feeling of fear and anxiety — and rightly so! You may be exhausted, and your sense of hope may be faltering.

Now more than ever, we need the tools to help us move away from a feeling of being overwhelmed and uneasy to a place of calm and inner strength. Hope can be that power source for us.

What is hope exactly? Some say hope comes from a spiritual belief. Others may say that hope is the glass half full way of looking at life. Merriam-Webster’s definition states that hope is a desire to want something to happen or to be true. But is a desire for a particular outcome enough?

Is there such a thing as the biology of hope? After all, people claim to have cured their cancer through meditation and positive thinking. It may seem more like magical thinking rather than science, but there may be a biology of hope. After all, there is a biology of other emotions: fear, anger, and depression. So why not hope? And if the biology of hope is indeed real, what are its limitations if any?

It turns out, hope is good for the brain. Neuroscientists are studying the science of hope, and they’ve found that hopefulness changes your brain. When we experience the sensation of hope, the brain releases endorphins and enkephalins which mimic the effects of morphine and block pain. Regarding hope and healing, scientists are finding that hope and recovery are connected.

While watching the evening news, I was recently reminded of the myth of Pandora. Most of us have heard about opening “Pandora’s Box,” as unleashing bad things, but the full myth reflects the Greek’s deep wisdom. You see, Pandora was the first mortal woman on Earth. Her name in Greek means “the one who bears all gifts.”

Zeus gave her a box (in ancient Greece this was called a jar), but he warned her never to open it. Curiosity got the better of her, and when she opened it, all the world’s troubles were released: greed, envy, hatred, pain, disease, hunger, poverty, war, and death. All human blessings escaped and were lost. All save one. Hope remained in the box — because, without hope, the Greeks knew, mortals could not endure.

Some of you might find that your lives aren’t what you thought they’d be. You may be stuck in an unfulfilling job, have oodles of debt, feel trapped in a loveless relationship, or stress about your declining health.

Optimists are quick to say that “everything will work out.” It’s not enough to be a Pollyanna. The truth is, not everything works out. Sometimes, things turn out very badly. Hoping these things will get better on their own won’t work. Why not? Because that type of hope is a passive hope, and often it’s a crutch used to make excuses for why things aren’t working in your life.

The power of hope comes from a person’s inner strength. It has the ability to transform. The difference between a passive hope and real hope is that real hope lies in belief, and it requires a goal.

Now more than ever, we need real hope to become our power source. We need to learn to tap into that renewable stockpile and maintain it, especially through these challenging times.

Here is a list of 5 actions you can take right now to cultivate hope.

Dare to Dream.



Photo by Subham Dash on Pexels

You deserve to live the life you want. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose if you will allow yourself to dream.

How do you see yourself in your perfect life? Think about what you want — what you really want. Don’t worry if it seems unattainable. Make it clear in your mind what you want, and write it down. Make a list and put it somewhere where you will see it often. No judging here.

You might be saying to yourself, that’s all very well and good, but if you’re feeling beaten down, and you have no inner strength, how is it possible to muster up this real hope — that things can be better? How is it possible that things will change?

When you find yourself knocked down by life, repeatedly, the easiest thing to do is give up. You hope to get ahead in the bills, you hope to get a good-paying job, you hope you get into that college. This kind of spinning-your-wheels thinking can become a prison of sorts because this passive hope dominates your thoughts. That’s when you need to stop and let it go.

Letting go allows you to regroup your thoughts. Like a soldier in battle, you have to know when to fight and when to retreat. When you take a step back and stop fighting battle after battle, hoping each problem will go away on its own, you can free your mind from its fixations, and open your mind to finding real solutions.

Photo by icon0.com on Pexels

2. Allow pain to be your catalyst.

It’s only a matter of time in a person’s life when a painful event will cause a major shift. This could be the death of a parent, a spouse, or a child. It could be the destruction of your home by fire, or the loss of your job by downsizing.

At times like these, grief will pull you down and crack your life wide open. Allow yourself time to grieve and feel the pain. You will hurt, cry, scream, and question everything. To overcome pain, you have to move toward it, desire it, acknowledge it, and embrace it. Once you do this, the pain will eventually shrink away. From this grief, you will find a strength you had no idea that you had. In time, you’ll feel as though life is a do-over, a 52 Pick-Up, where anything is possible.

Photo by Miriam Espacio on Pexels

3. Don’t just sit there. Do something.

To get something you hope for, you’ve got to work for it. There’s no magic pill. You can’t cross your arms in front of your chest and blink your eyes. People tend to avoid change because they aren’t willing to put in the work necessary for change to come about. That kind of thinking falls into the same passive, “Boy I hope things work out,” category. Some of you have spent way too much of your life there. Time to pull up the big girl or boy undies, and get to work.

4. Take it one step at a time.

You might look at the list of dreams you wrote out and think to yourself, “There’s no way I can do these things!” To make lasting, concrete changes, you have to set goals. Goals will focus your mind and give you direction. These goals might seem impossible now, but if you take things one step at a time, you’ll get there. It’s how mountains are moved one shovelful at a time.

I recently read about a woman who wanted to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. She was out of shape, and none of her friends thought she could do it. She started out walking half a mile, then a mile. She bought hiking boots. Then she wore an empty backpack on her walks. Then she loaded the backpack with items she thought she would need. Eventually, she booked a trip to that mountain and climbed it. Baby steps. That’s all it takes. That and never giving up.

5. Know in your gut you can do it.

Your world is created from the inside out. This is the most important aspect of the power of hope. You must believe that your goal will be achieved. Know in your gut it will happen. Real hope is generated through the power of your mind.

I’m sure you’ve all heard of the placebo effect. It focuses on the relationship between the mind and body. Your brain can convince your body that treatment is real, and so the body reacts by healing itself. Why is a placebo such an effective treatment? The reason is that it’s all in the mind. One study, for example, found that if a doctor told the patient they were going to feel better by taking a particular drug, the patient actually felt better.

In another case, Amy Morin, a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist asked a shy client of hers what she normally did whenever she attended a networking event. She replied, “I stand awkwardly off to the side and wait to see if anyone will come talk to me.” When asked what she would do differently if she felt confident. “I’d initiate conversation and introduce myself to people.”

The client found the solution to her problem. To feel confident, she had to act confident. In essence, she had to rely on the power of the mind to make it happen. If there’s something you want in life, “act as if” you already have it, and it will manifest into being.

You don’t have to know how it will happen. You have to hold fast to the belief that it will happen, work hard, take those baby steps, and know in your heart you will get there.

In today’s turbulent world, a veritable Pandora’s box is opened every morning when we turn on the news or read the newspaper. Remember the wisdom of the Greeks. All is not lost, because even in the darkest hours, hope remains. It is within your power to harness the power of hope. What are you waiting for?

Think of all the possibilities

Do you always sleep on the same side of the bed? Do you still sport the same hairstyle you had when you were in high school? Have you worn the same perfume or cologne for as long as you can remember?

Many of us find ourselves living on autopilot doing the same routine day after day — which fades into year after year. Don’t get me wrong, some habits are good: going for that morning run, meeting friends at your favorite watering hole for Friday night happy hour, even buckling your seat belt.

Although some routines are good, it’s always nice to “shake the rug” every now and then and try something completely different. Try a new hairstyle or switch up your perfume or cologne. How about instead of binge-watching Stranger Things over the weekend, volunteer to help build a house with Habitat for Humanity. Volunteer as a hospital baby cuddler for those parents who can’t visit their newborns every day. Hey, why not run for a local office!

There are many benefits to trying something new. When we get out of our “zones” we meet new people and create new friendships. That may lead to new business opportunities, new relationships, new ways of thinking.

Our brain is an incredible machine. It can process about 11 million bits of information every second.

It has to immediately filter all this incoming information. It’s no wonder our brains have placed all those mindless (yep, pun intended) routines we do repeatedly into the do-that-without-thinking category. Our brain has enough to do already.

One of the greatest benefits to trying something new, especially as we age, is that we actually change the makeup of our brains. When the brain is bombarded with new stimuli — new sounds, smells, tastes, experiences, ideas — it physically changes!

Scientists used to think our brains stopped growing once we reached a certain age. Recent data, however, shows that our brains continue to change all through our lives. They grow new cells and form new connections.

Our brains are made up of billions of nerve cells called neurons. These neurons communicate with one another through chemicals that are emitted at the ends of the nerve fibers. These chemicals, or neurotransmitters, leap across the gap between the fibers which then triggers that cell to fire. The “wiring” in our brain restructures with every new thing we learn.

I have to admit that this concept of restructuring the brain hits home for me. My grandfather suffered from some form of dementia, but we don’t know for sure if it was Alzheimer’s because he was never tested. My sister and I found we each have one variant of late-onset Alzheimer’s in our genetic makeup, but that doesn’t mean we will present with the disease. Nevertheless, I am very aware of how that may be in my future.

That’s why I want to do everything I can to exercise my brain by trying new things. I want to learn new languages, travel and meet new people, learn to play the flute when I’m eighty, take up ballroom dancing, rent a Tuscan Villa and take cooking lessons.

Buon appetito!

I want to take every opportunity to do something out of my routine so I can continue to grow my brain. I want to encourage you all to do the same. Try something new, not just to prevent a potential disease, but because it enriches your life in so many ways. And it’s fun.

Feel free to reach out to me and tell me something new you’ve tried. I’d love to hear from you.

I wish you all peace!

Debbie

Spring is in full bloom and summer is just around the corner. It’s that sweet time of year for hanging sheets on the line to dry, for picking lilacs and keeping them in a jar on the nightstand, and for taking in the sweet smell of freshly cut grass and barbecue smoke. With each new season comes new beginnings: graduations, weddings, babies, a new job, a new house. A fresh way of looking at life. 

Still some of you might find yourselves in your own version of Groundhog Day. You get up, go to work, clock in a bunch of hours so someone else can live in a mansion, go home, eat, go to bed, then get up and repeat that same day over and over. All the while, you might think this kind of life is normal, because you’re responsible, and that’s just what you do.

To quote Queen Latifah’s character, Georgia Byrd, in the movie Last Holiday, “You know how it is. You keep your head down and you hustle and hustle. Then you look up one day and wonder, ‘How did I even get here?'” Georgia decided to check off her bucket list because she thought she only had a few weeks to live. I’m not saying you should quit your job and sell all your stocks to go skiing in Karlovy Vary, but there are steps you can take that will allow you to start checking off your bucket list. In my upcoming book, Why Wait? A practical guide to checking off your Bucket List right now!, I’ll show those steps. I’m on track to have the book published by the end of the year. I’ll keep you all posted. 

It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
For me
And I’m feeling good

I wish you all peace!

Debbie
http://www.debbieshannon.com/

If I had __ time left to live, how would I spend that time?

What if you were told you had one day to live? One week? One month? One year? What would you do with the precious time you had left? My dear friend, Rebecca Kittle, pondered this question after the recent tragic death of her cousin. He had been misdiagnosed, and by the time the true nature of his illness was discovered, it was too late.

What if you were told you had one day to live? One week? One month? One year? What would you do with the precious time you had left? My dear friend, Rebecca Kittle, pondered this question after the recent tragic death of her cousin. He had been misdiagnosed, and by the time the true nature of his illness was discovered, it was too late. 

All of us are headed toward the finish line; some of us are sprinting, while others are taking baby steps. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not suggesting we all focus on our deaths. I do want to remind you, however, to live each day as though you knew your end date. Life is happening today. Make it count.

Of course, all this ties in with my upcoming book, Why Wait: A practical guide to checking off your Bucket List right now! But it’s not just about the book. As many of you know, I have a dear friend, Gladys Dubovsky, who is 103. Last week, she was diagnosed with pneumonia and is currently in the hospital. She is getting IV fluids and antibiotics, but she’s still very weak. 

I worry for her. I pray for her. I selfishly want to hang onto her. Time will tell how she reacts to the medication. My sincere hope is that she gets better and stronger and is allowed to go home and sleep in her own bed. Selfishly, I want to be able to visit her again as soon as she’s home, watch Jeopardy with her, argue politics (we both think the same, so there’s no arguing between us – just with the daily news!), cook French toast in the morning, and discuss our next book. Yes, that’s right. She and I are working on another book together. More on that later.

If I may be so bold, for those of you out there who pray, I’d like to ask you to pray for her. For those who aren’t so inclined, if I may, please send out positive thoughts. Thoughts are powerful. They have frequencies which can actually be measured. 

One last thing. Tell someone you love how much they are appreciated. Give out three compliments today. When you hug your children tonight, hold them just a bit longer and whisper a thank you for them coming into your lives. 

I appreciate all of you. I wish you peace.

The life you are living right now is a direct result of the choices you have made in the past. The reason you sit in a chair at your desk at work today is because you interviewed for that job in the past and were hired. The pet that you love and spoil is the pet you bought from a breeder or rescued from a shelter. You watch TV from the couch in the living room of the house you purchased in the past.

We are constantly making choices throughout our day—everything from what we put in our coffee to what clothes we choose to wear. Most of the time, these choices are unconscious. When you pause for that briefest of moments and consider the choice you are about to make, you take that choice from an unconscious one to a conscious one. In Chapter One of Why Wait: A practical guide to checking off your Bucket List right now!, I encourage you to consciously make choices today that will bring you closer to your goal of checking off your bucket list. 

I’d like you to try this experiment for the next few days. Throughout the day, pause and ask yourself, “How does this choice make me feel?” If you feel bad, then your body and mind are telling you that you’re on the wrong path. If you feel good, then you’re on the right path.

And another thing—don’t worry so much about what others think. We tend to label things we like as guilty pleasures. Life is too short to feel guilty about ordering dessert, or wearing a crazy hat just because you love it, or reading a light and fluffy chic lit book simply because you wanted to. If your choices aren’t harming anyone, think less about what other people think and more about doing things that make you happy. In the words of Dolly Parton, “Find out who you are, and do it on purpose.” 

So, if everything in your life is a direct result of the choices you have made in the past, decide right now to take the steps necessary to tick off one of your bucket list items. Today is the day. After all…

                                             The past is history,
                                        the future is a mystery,
                                      and this moment is a gift.
                                  That’s why it’s called present.

I wish you all peace!

Everything that happens in the universe starts with an intention. In the morning, you choose what clothes to wear, you decide to pour yourself some coffee, and you determine what you will do with your day. I made the decision to write my next book Why Wait: A practical guide to checking off your Bucket List right now!

Everything starts with intention. Intent takes a thought and makes it a reality. One of my favorite stories about the power of intention is that of Marilyn Monroe in New York City in the 1950s. She lived for a year in a studio on the Upper East Side (my old hood!). She loved walking the streets of New York, because unlike Hollywood, no one bothered her. In fact, no one recognized her, that is until she wanted them to. One day, while walking down Broadway with her friend, Anne Greene, Marilyn turned to her and asked, “Do you want to see me become her?” Anne wasn’t sure what she meant, but watched as Marilyn turned something on within herself that was almost magical. Suddenly cars slowed down and people stopped in their tracks to stare at her. They all immediately recognized that this was Marilyn Monroe as though she had pulled off a mask, even though a second before, no one noticed her. 

Photo by Ed Feingersh/Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images

In Chapter Four, I write about how thoughts become things through the Law of Attraction. Simply put, whatever you think about the most will show itself in your life, whether you’re conscious of it or not. If you dwell on negative things (i.e., how much you hate your job, financial troubles, your life isn’t what you imaged), you will bring more of that into your life. On the other hand, if you focus on the positive (i.e., all the blessings in your life, loving relationships, each new day is filled with possibilities), you will bring more of that into your life. 

We have the ability to choose what images we hold in our minds, and in so doing, change the course of our lives. In this season of making resolutions and fresh new starts, try this: anytime you realize that you’re having a negative thought, replace it with a positive one. See the silver lining. Find your inner Marilyn Monroe. 

I wish you all peace!

  Be kind wherever possible.
                                        It is always possible.

                                                            ~ Dalai Lama

Is it possible for one idea to change the world? What if giving kindness was one of those ideas? 

You may think that it’s impossible to change the world by simply spreading kindness. After all, the world is full of violence, war, and oppression. But it’s also filled with compassion, love, and good will. The newspapers don’t often cover stories about the man who helps an old woman cross a busy street, or the woman who brings her sick friend homemade chicken soup, or the single mother who reads a bedtime story to her child after an exhausting day at work.

In Chapter Five in my upcoming book, Why Wait? A practical guide to checking off your Bucket List right now!, I write about the importance of giving and the power of kindness. It may sound crazy, but the quickest way to get what you want in life is to give it freely to another. If you want to be happy, cause another person to be happy. If you want more love in your life, cause another person to have more love in theirs. That’s because the universe operates through dynamic exchange. Nothing is static.

This approach even works for money. The word affluence which means “to flow in abundance” comes from the word “affluere” which means “to flow to.” Money is simply something we trade for something else. In fact, currency comes from the Latin word “currere” which means “to run” or “to flow.” If we hoard money, we stop the flow of it coming back into our lives. Everything you give away will come back to you.

And that goes with kindness as well. In this busy season of buying and wrapping presents, mailing cards, and baking cookies, I’d like you to try an experiment: any time you come in contact with someone, give them something. It doesn’t have to be tangible. It can be as simple as a smile, a compliment, or a prayer. The gifts of caring, compassion, attention, and affection are the most powerful gifts you can bestow. Studies show that people who experience random acts of kindness are more apt to pay it forward. So, by giving the gift of kindness, you will keep kindness circulating throughout the world. And you will be amazed at how good you feel! 

I wish you all peace!

I would like to share an excerpt with you from my upcoming book, Why Wait? A practical guide to checking off your Bucket List right now! In chapter six, I write about the correlation of happiness and gratitude. Did you know that simply shifting your focus from what you don’t have (your dream job, enough hours in a day, enough money in the bank) to what you do have can have a profound effect on your mood and emotional state?

People feel and express gratitude in multiple ways. They can apply it to the past (retrieving positive memories and being thankful for elements of childhood or past blessings), the present (not taking good fortune for granted as it comes), and the future (maintaining a hopeful and optimistic attitude). The word gratitude is derived from the Latin word gratia, which means grace, graciousness, or gratefulness. Studies have shown that people who make a habit of giving thanks for what they have tend to be happier, more hopeful and more energetic.  

Life can be hectic. During the day, pause a moment and take a few deep breaths. Think about all the things in your life that bring you joy. In the spirit of giving thanks for my many blessings, I want to thank you all for your friendship, encouragement, and support. I am truly grateful!

After I sold my apartment in New York City and most of my furniture, I packed whatever was left in a small U-Haul, put my cat, Clive, in his carrier in the cab, and pulled away from the curb. I drove five hours upstate to my hometown. After I passed the WELCOME sign, I took a right off the four-lane road that creeps through our town and drove up the main street, which is all of five blocks long. I had been living on the Upper East Side in Manhattan for the last ten years, so the brick buildings all looked so small. Small and quaint. I’m proud that I grew up here. I smiled as I slowly drove passed the pizza place where I used to hang out after school (cueNext Yearby Foo Fighters), passed the old clock tower in the town square, passed the newspaper and cigar store, and passed the ice cream parlor. It had been 37 years since I lived in this town. A few things were different, but most of it was the same—and right out of a Norman Rockwell painting. I crossed the bridge to the north side of town and pulled into Mom’s driveway. I brought Clive in the house and got him settled. While he sniffed around, I unloaded boxes from the U-Haul and stacked them throughout the living room, the den, and Mom’s bedroom.

I had a two-year plan. After I quit my job and moved back home, I gave myself two years to get my book published. First thing was first. I needed to unpack. Toward the end of her illness, Mom had bad days where she was rushed to the hospital to treat an infection, or dehydration, or one of the many side effects of the chemo treatments. In her last visit to the ER, the doctor told her she wouldn’t be going home. Her cancer had progressed to the point where she only had a few weeks to live. In order for her to be comfortable and pain-free, they brought her to a private room and set her up on a morphine drip—something hospice wasn’t allowed to do at home. Because she left the house the last time so quickly, all of her things were right where she had left them. Her sweater was draped across the back of a dining room chair. Her Mary Higgins Clark novel was tented on the wooden TV tray she used as an end table next to her La-Z-Boy. I walked into the kitchen and saw that her teacup was still on the countertop with her tea still in it. It was as though she was simply in the next room. I sat down and had a good cry.

What was I thinking? I was 55 years old. I had moved back home into my mother’s house. I had no job, hence no money coming in. And no love life. I found out that the guy I had been living with the last two years had not only cheated on me (with several women as it turned out), he had also gotten married to one of them and conveniently neglected to tell me. He was married to someone else, but living with me. Eating my food. Sleeping in my bed! To say that my love life went down in spectacular ball of flames would be an understatement. I had a cat, a few boxes of stuff, a computer, and the working draft of a manuscript.

I looked around the house at all of Mom’s stuff and decided to take things slowly. I thought of that scene in the movie Under the Tuscan Sunwhere Diane Lane’s character goes through the old Italian house Bramasoleshe bought and decides the best thing to do is to start with one room at a time and make it her own. That’s what I would do. I decided to first focus on the kitchen. After all, a girl’s gotta eat!

I took Mom’s dishes out of the cupboards, placed them in boxes, and stacked them in the basement for my sister, Patty, and I to go through. I spotted the freezer against the wall in the basement and opened it up.

“What’s for dinner, Mom?”

As I pulled out a Tupperware container labeled “turkey soup” I noticed a beige loaf-like object on the door. I took it out and turned it over to read the label. “Christmas sugar cookies.” Mom had frozen the leftover cookie dough. I brought the soup and dough upstairs. I thawed the dough in the microwave. As I wiped the cupboards down then filled them with my dishes, I baked the cookies. Mom’s cookies. The whole house smelled like Christmas. I found a can of coffee in the refrigerator and made a pot. I took the cookies out of the oven and poured myself some coffee. Mom had given me her sugar cookie recipe, so I could make them next Christmas, but these were her cookies, made by her. It was the last time I would ever have hercookies. I let the tears roll down my cheeks as I savored every bite.

After I finished putting the dishes away, I heated the soup and had dinner. That night, I wound through the boxes, down the hall to Mom’s bedroom—now my bedroom. I couldn’t find the box where I had packed my pajamas, so I opened the top drawer of Mom’s dresser and pulled out her night shirt. It’s a battered long-sleeved red T-shirt of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. That was her favorite football team. I held the shirt to my nose and smelled her perfume. I slipped it over my head and climbed into her bed. Clive jumped in the bed and curled up beside me. I laced my fingers behind my head and stared at the ceiling. I wasn’t sure what the morning would bring, but there was no turning back.

“You’re not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy,” I said to no one.

I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.