Evelyn Montgomery's Blog

We all have “our days,” or moments in time when life gets overwhelming and we find ourselves fighting the urge to walk out the door, hit the open road, and never come back.

For me, this week was no exception.

Sometimes, I think that we have a predisposition this way as humans. The moment one part of our lives starts to improve, we tend to go a few days basking in the glory of how blessed we are until not after long we find something new to grumble about. It’s either the car or the house, the kids or the pets, busy schedules and heavy workloads, the feeling of being run-down and never having enough time. As soon as we finally figure one problem out, another is hot on our heels and we find ourselves wanting to shout something like “I quit” at the tops of our lungs.

Quit what? For most of us, I don’t think we really know. But it sure feels good to say it and allows us to let off steam and release some of the bent up pressure that has been building for far too long.

Having finally worked through many issues plaguing my life the last few years, it wasn’t long the past few weeks before I found myself frustrated as I struggled to stand my ground on the way I thought and believed things should be with another issue.

Finally coming to a slight realization of the way things really were, I found myself alone in my thoughts and in my car flying down an open road. Windows down and music blaring, my very own personal kind of therapy besides writing, I attempted to work through the thoughts in my mind until it hit me while listening to one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite artists.

Bon Jovi sure got it right when he sang the line in his chart-topping classic, “It’s my Life.” For I think I can speak for most of us when I say if I ever asked you what you wanted out of life, the answer would be, “I just want to live while I’m alive.”

My one wish for my children would be for them to find what makes them feel alive in life and never stop doing it. For when everything is said and done, long after I’m old and gray, I will hope I lived my life the same way. My hope is that I can sit with not only my own children, but my grandchildren and great-grandchildren telling them stories of how my life didn’t always turn out the way I thought and planned, but even through it all I made sure I lived a life that made me feel alive and I hope they do the same.

As I wrestled with decisions I realized the answer was easy. Although not entirely the way I had envisioned things, and maybe not a reality I wanted to face, I have been fortunate to live a life where I was doing what made me feel alive.

I have struggled, I have sacrificed, and through it all I have built a life I dared to only dream about as a little girl.

I’ve married my best friend I’ve known since we were 11, bought the dream house, had the beautiful children, and secured a job I had only fantasized about as a child when I would sit and watch classics such as “All the President’s Men,” “Up Close and Personal,” “The Way We Were,” or the very old and dear to my heart “His Girl Friday.”

I am fortunate to live in a house that looks like it belongs in a Norman Rockwell painting. My children are healthy and truly my biggest blessing lighting up my each and every day. And even after all of that, I am fortunate to work a career that makes me feel alive.

What more can you ask for?

As I finally found my grasp and started the process of finding peace with my newly found frustrations, I understood that even though I felt slightly jaded by the truth I uncovered, I was living my life alive. And when everything else fails, when my time on earth is done, that is and will always be the most important thing.

As my wish for my children, I hope you all are just as fortunate to live your life alive.

We are all familiar with the saying, “everyone is a critic,” or perhaps “everyone is their own worst critic.”
Being the editor of a community newspaper, I get my fair share of criticism. Not just from the readers, but from my colleagues as well.
I was told a long time ago, when I first entered my career, that in order to be successful and not burn out in this business as a journalist I will need to develop a thick skin.
I will be honest, I tend to be way too sensitive at times.
But over the years, and many critics later, I am learning to develop a stronger shell, so to say, for lack of better words.
To quote Aristotle, “There is only one way to avoid criticism; do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.”
One of the hardest things to accept in life, as many of us know, is how impossible it is to please everyone. No matter what you do, or how you say something, if enough people are present there will always be one person who has the right to their opinion that thinks you could have handled things differently.
Some people like to imply constructive criticism is necessary for growth. While I do agree partially with that statement, I do not believe there really is a such a thing as constructive criticism.
All criticism is destructive.
Whether it makes the recipient of the criticism stop and think in order to change, or if the person criticizing realizes their errors and apologizes, maybe even too much damage is done and it destroys a relationship; criticism, when handled right or wrong, is always destructive.
The key is defusing the situation as much as possible so as not to be self-destructive in the process.
I read a quote recently from Bruce Lee which read, “One of the best lessons you can learn in life is to master how to remain calm.”
As one of arguably the greatest martial artists of all time, I think everyone can take a lesson out of Lee’s philosophy on life.
For after all, “Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots.”
Personal growth takes both sunshine and rain, therefore making it absolutely necessary to accept both compliments and criticism graciously and with an open mind.
Perhaps many of us tend to react poorly to critics who cross our path, simply because we have a subconscious desire to be ruined by praise rather than saved by criticism. Although, if we can learn to take criticism seriously, but not personally, we will be better off as we develop the skill to grow from the truth and let the rest of it roll right off our backs.
Criticism is arguably a great price of the ambitious. Not everything we say and do will be right, or well received, and we all would be better off if we learn to be ok with the simplicity of that one small fact.
One of the greatest lessons in life is learning to accept everything with an open mind and not let it get to our hearts.
I encourage every reader out there to do the same because the world has enough critics already, and wouldn’t we all be better off to not only encourage others but be encouraged as well?

I’ve been called many things in my life, not all of which are true, although the one I will easily admit to is passionate.

Or you can go with “fiery” if you want to call me what my family and friends do. This is a fact the universe perhaps even knows as I stumbled across my horoscope recently that literally told me to “calm down.”

I swear there is a strong Irish or Italian gene in me somewhere. It is a trait some may not wear proudly, although I have no problem exclaiming it from the highest rooftop. Passion, although sometimes mistaken as anger, ultimately means the person feeling the emotion is intensely driven with devotion for whatever they desire most.

In fact, look up the definition and you will find those exact words: intense, driven, devotion and desire.

If we start to look at someone’s anger as passion, as crazy as it sounds, the world might be a better place.

Now, I am not saying that everything someone can be passionate about is a good thing. The standards that define society has its limits. Although, in those times we find ourselves in an argument or dealing with someone who by definition could be considered “fiery,” we might better understand the situation if we stop and ask ourselves why that person is so passionate about what they are fighting for.

After all, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from their point of view.”

With that said, I have been diligent to work hard for what I am passionate about — writing.

I live my life driven to be fearless in pursuit of what I know I truly want in life. Feeling as if my passion for writing is part of my purpose, it was only natural it also became my profession.

I’ve been told many times in my life that writers are introverts. I’m not sure I entirely agree with that statement. Those who have met me and my boisterous fiery personality can attest introvert I most likely am not. Although, those who know me very well have seen me withdraw into my writing and become so introverted when needing to express myself through words that I become hardly recognizable to some who consider me a friend or an acquaintance.

Writing for me is an outlet I use like the air I breathe. It always has been and always will be. It is an addiction so naturally embedded in me since I was able to put a pen to paper.

Journalism aside, writers take their craft very seriously. Much like an artist who paints for a living, transporting their feelings to canvas, a writer loves life and words enough to try and make blank pages come to life in order to touch the reader who cares enough to listen. I would never touch a painter’s canvas after they have created their masterpiece, much like writers don’t like people messing with their thoughts after they are put on paper.

Although, that doesn’t mean I can’t also take constructive criticism, either.

I believe those who choose to become an artist in any form — painter, writer, actor, photographer, etc. — are obsessed with personal challenge and growth.

Always pushing to do better and create something new, we are often our worst critics and know taking constructive criticism from others is a must for not only self-growth and self-exploration in the artistic world we live in but also to allow us to fail, push forward, succeed and grow, which is a necessity for survival as an artist.

Constructive criticism is also a tool that has the power to bring forth our best work. We are pushers, doers, and explorers consumed with the need to mature and take on new challenges.

We are, by nature, passionate.

I truly believe you should never dull yourself for someone who does not understand your passion.

One can argue, “True humility is being able to accept criticism as graciously as we accept compliments.”

Although, intense passion is not reserved exclusively for the prideful. You can be humble and hungry, and having passion will always make you the hardest worker in the room. True success comes to those who dedicate themselves to what they are passionate about.

Passionate people are risk takers, and a truly passionate person can take a dream and make it a reality.

In the end, I would rather live my life full of passion than never pursue what sets my soul on fire.

Even if I happen to throw a few “fiery” darts along the way.