Monk Inyang's Blog

For most people, there’s nothing as humbling and life changing as having a child. Sure, people talk about the preciousness of children and how a helpless baby helped them grow as a person but that’s not what I’m talking about. What I find so humbling about having a baby is that you will inevitably suck at multiple aspects of it. Raising another human from scratch is so time consuming, so all encompassing, so pressure filled, so unpredictable, that it is literally impossible to be completely prepared for it ahead of time. You can read books, babysit other kids, talk to moms and dads – the whole nine. And then one day you have your own and what you expected to happen in Scenario C did not and now you’re scrambling.

For my wife and I, we’re about to head down that road again. By late March (maybe early April), we’ll be welcoming a third Inyang to the household. Our “tribe” (as a guy friend called it when I told him about it) will be complete. And if there’s anything I’m absolutely sure of – it’s that we forgot at least 80% of everything we learned with the first two. It’s been six years since we’ve had an infant in the house so my prior knowledge feels as useful as being well versed in Myspace website customization.

When do they start walking again? When do they talk? How often do they poop again?

Don’t remember. But thankfully, because we’ve done it before, twice, I’m not worried. We’ll figure it out. We always do. I’m sure there will be some sleepless nights and cranky baby attitude mixed in with other unexpected events. But at the end of the day, it’ll be fine. We’ve seen at least some version of it before.

It’s the same with the other “scary” things we contemplate in our lives but never step out in faith on. Maybe we read about it, talk about it with friends, and fantasize about it to ourselves. But we don’t move forward because we don’t feel ready, or we don’t think it’ll work out, or we don’t feel like the timing is right. But we should look at those things like having a baby. You aren’t ready, things won’t all work out, and the timing is never right – but it somehow comes together.

I remember my son, when he was around two years old, waking up in the middle of the night in a full throat scream of horror. When I picked him up and tried to calm him down, nothing worked. He tried to get away like I was some kind of monster. I ended up having to run out of our apartment in my pajamas, run down the stairs, and take him outside in the cold because I couldn’t think of anything else to do. But that worked somehow. He got cold, calmed down, and fell back asleep. It worked out. I don’t even know what that was. How could I have been prepared for it?

I’ve always wanted to take writing more seriously but constantly found excuses. Then two years ago I decided to just dive in. Started with a novel and newsletter (hello) and went through the growing pains associated with both. But now that I’ve done it, I feel emboldened enough to do it again. Now I’ve been bitten by another desire to write screenplays. The same doubts creep up but because I jumped in with the other forms of writing, it gave me enough confidence to at least attempt it. And now I’m full speed ahead with that.

If I ruled the world and everything in it, everyone would be forced to just do what they’ve been putting off. Unfortunately, the “having a baby” phenom doesn’t translate perfectly. You can’t get a text one day saying that business you’ve been considering is going to start in 9 months whether you’re ready or not. But still, treat it that way. Set a date and decide it’s gonna happen regardless. You’ll fail at at least one part of it. That’s fine. It’ll all work itself out somehow. As long as you’re in the arena, you’re doing something worth applauding.

I recently had the chance to read the first two chapters of a writer’s “work in progress” novel and provide my thoughts. What stood out to me most was that, I felt, it took too long to get to the essence of what the story was about. The writing was fine, the premise was interesting, and I wanted to know more about the characters. I just had to get through several paragraphs before I got to that point. I’m sure it has to do with people’s shortened attention spans but in storytelling, an opening hook is key. When someone gives you a chance to entertain them, you only have a few moments to get them to buy in. That’s why television shows like Game of Thrones have way more nudity in the first two or three episodes than they do throughout the rest of the run. It’s why news stories give you the premise of the event upfront. It’s why writers obsess (probably too much) about their opening lines, or the first words a character says. You have to set the tone from jump. Make some promises and then fulfill them as the story goes on.

As I wrote my feedback about improving the opening, it made me think about how that idea of “setting the tone” applies to everyday life. How would that play out if you had to do it for yourself? If I’m crafting the hook for a story, I spend time thinking about the overall tale, the themes, the setting, etc. and try and come up with a clever way to give you as much of that information early and in a way that will have you turn to page two. I couldn’t do any of that if I didn’t already have a good idea about the overall story. When I thought about applying this idea to everyday life, I realized it would be difficult to come up with the “hook” for ourselves because we rarely take the time to think of our holistic story.

What are the themes that make up your life? Betrayal (I hope not)? Triumph? Rejection? Perseverance? Romance?

If you had to break it down the three key characteristics of your personality, what would they be?

You could probably spend some good money and time at a retreat figuring out the answers to those questions. But do you know where “lead with a hook” mentality DOES play out in people’s lives?

Speed dating.

Thankfully, I’ve never had to endure speed dating but, while growing up, I have watched many a movie and TV show that involved speed dating. I’m pretty sure it was an American TV obsession in the late 90’s. People were always different levels or terrible at it (because its insanity) but it would fit into the storytelling idea pretty well. If you were going to be an effective speed dater – someone who got another person to become interested in the real you and not a fake portrayal – you would have to be pretty in touch with who you are. You would have to know the activities, dislikes, hobbies, etc that represent you best so that when you mentioned them together in a sentence, the other person would have a clear image of what you’re like in their head.

That would be tough. BUT, it would be helpful.

If I ruled the world and everything in it, I’d make the speed dating pitch a required rite of passage for people. You’d have to take the time and think about what you would say in your 30 second intro. Then, you’d practice it with people and ask for their opinion. The whole exercise would help you center yourself on the core instead of the fluff. You’d define yourself by what is most important, not what happened most recently. You’d have a better idea of what you would like and dislike in a future, unnamed situation simply because you have a better understanding of you. How many fewer bad relationships, jobs, friendships, habits, and hobbies would we be a part of if we knew us better.

Then we would film that speed dating montage, put a 90’s soundtrack in the background, and turn it into a TV movie.

Because what else would this all be for?

Last night, I performed at an “I’m Telling” storytelling event at Trend Coffee and Tea House in Montclair. Each night, the theme for the stories change and last night’s theme was Clarity. Below is the story I told. Would love to hear your thoughts:

As some of you may know, I’m a first generation Nigerian American. That essentially means that my parents were born and raised in the home country of Nigeria then came here to have American kids. My older sisters and brother were born in Nigeria while me and my younger brother were born in Oklahoma City, before moving to Jersey when we were around 3. While everyone’s childhood is different, there are a lot of things that first generation children have in common: like being embarrassed of their family’s lack of assimilation and “UnAmericanness”. Or having to explain your native cuisine to ruthlessly ignorant classmates. Or learning about the ocean-wide gap in parenting styles that your folks have compared to the parents of your friends. I went through all of those things but what I wanted to focus on tonight was something I didn’t recognize until I got married.

Tonight’s theme is Clarity and for most people, that brings up stories of when they figured it all out at some point in their lives. For me, I think about the lack of clarity or the amount of ambiguity I grew up with and how comfortable I learned to be with that. I know other first gen kids who have to explain homework or translate to their parents but that wasn’t the case for me. For one, they both went to college in the US and understood the language pretty well. Secondly, they never put in a serious effort to teach me and my brother their native language. I remember getting lightning fast lessons where we’d learn the same single phrases like “Good Morning” or “Hello”. Then my brother and I would struggle trying to learn another word or, God forbid, put together a sentence. My parents would get frustrated, my brother and I would get frustrated, and then we’d silently agree to just switch back to English and move on. So, when my parents spoke to each other or other Nigerians, we couldn’t understand them. Not a single word. I’ve seen other kids at least learn to understand what’s being said even if they couldn’t speak the language themselves but that wasn’t our ministry. We were perfectly fine staring blankly while they spoke around us and then wait until they addressed us in English.

So what that did was create in us an ease with being in the dark. Instead of needing all the answers and specifics, we would read context clues and be fine with that. Oh, their voices are elevated and they’ve mentioned my name three times in a row – Mommy probably just read my report card. I’ll just prepare myself until the moment she calls me to the living room to address my sins. Things like that.

To add to this, my parent’s are notoriously vague. They ask you to get things for them by pointing at said thing with their bottom lip. Even if that item is on an entertainment center with twenty other things – figure it out. They tended to give you just enough information to do your job at that moment – and most of the time it was less than you needed. It was up to you to figure the rest out and keep up. After years of this, you get good at it. You begin to take tiny pieces of information and expand it. “We’re going to your cousin’s house this weekend” is enough for you to figure it would be Sunday because they rarely like traveling on Saturdays and with that you could anticipate which cartoon you might miss and set it up to be recorded ahead of time. You adapt.

I thought this was regular for everyone until I got married. My wife would agree that she’s extremely particular and precise. As much as I’m fine with going into situations kind of winging it and figuring it out along the way, she needs to have a plan and expected outcome. So of course, that difference was the cause of many an argument in the beginning. She’d be frustrated because she would have to ask a million and one questions to get a full answer and I’d be frustrated because I’d feel like “I’m pretty sure I was clear when I said my initial two word response”.

Like anything, you get through and you learn to do better. You embrace the positive and take stock of what’s not working. Which is what brought me to sharing this story.

When was the last time you took an honest look at the way you communicate with others? We’re quick to say we don’t get along with a certain type of person but we don’t put thought into why that is. Have you ever really considered how you interact with others? Or what molded you into behaving that way? If you dig deep enough, you’ll pull the string on the experiences that influence you today. And with that information it’s easier to enhance what’s working and diminish what isn’t. Or you can respond the way my parents would:

*hmph* 

About three weeks ago I was laid off from my job. It had nothing to do with me or the work I was doing. The company decided to restructure some things and my entire team was let go. Regardless of the inescapability of it all, it still stings. As hard as I try to be more than the work I do, it’s hard not to identify with your 9-5 job. So even though I got enough severance pay to cover things for a few months, and even though people keep reminding me that I take a break and should take some time to do nothing for a while, I still have multiple days where I feel rudderless. Days where I rotate between feeling like I’m not doing enough to find another job and and feeling like I’m not writing enough to take advantage of this new free time. It’s a lose/lose state of being that I’m always working on it. An ongoing struggle that gets better with time and intentional focus.


One thing that’s interested me during this time has been a book I’m finishing up from Ryan Holladay called The Obstacle is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph. From the name alone, it seems pretty on brand for this period in my life. There are dozens of great nuggets of info and stories about taking advantage of negativity but there was a chapter about fate that I found particularly appealing. In the chapter, Ryan talks about how fate has been a concept in human culture since the beginning. Since we’ve had enough free time to ponder our situations, we’ve debated how much of our life is predestined and how much of it is in our control. Depending on your faith (or lack of faith), or life experiences, you can be on varying ends on the spectrum of “how much control do I have on what happens to me”. But regardless of where you lie, you’ve likely experienced or witnessed things where you or someone you know has done EVERYTHING they could for a desired result and it STILL did not work out. They opened a business, did hours of research on their market, took their time where it was needed and moved quickly when that was the best route. And out of nowhere there’s some freak weather that destroys their things and wipes them out. Or the person who pours into a relationship, whether friendship or romantic, only to have it blown up for reasons that had nothing to do with the people involved. Things happen, It is What it Is, As Fate Would Have It, God Willing, That’s How the Cookie Crumbles…we have a myriad of ways to explain setbacks that could not have been predicted.


If I ruled the world and everything in it, I’d have people reestablish their relationship with fate and the “negative” circumstances that come our way regardless of our attempts to avoid them. If this job loss was out of my control and bound to happen, what can I do with the new circumstances? What can I do now that would not have been possible (or highly unlikely) before? For me, it’s conquering some objectives that I’ve had in my mind with no deadlines or concrete plans to complete them. I’ve wanted to record the audiobook for the first Nightmare Detectives installment for months now. I’ve wanted to finish the 1st draft of the sequel for weeks. I’m refocused on those things and have added additional projects to the wishlist with deadlines for the end of the year.


When you face your setbacks, especially the haymaker punches that you didn’t see coming and could not plan for, what can you do to recover? It’s about more than just picking up the pieces. That would have happened regardless. You get dumped, you heal and try again. You lose a job, you look for another one. That’s what is expected. But what if you took a moment to step back and envision what’s possible now BECAUSE of your setback? Because fate would not have it, what door is now open?

We’re all well aware of the dangers of using social media as a way to compare our success to those around us. We know how much people pretend to be someone online, or more commonly, only portray a small sliver of their real lives. If you look at my social media, you’d think all I did was write, perform, and think about writing or performing.

Actually, I feel like I’m stuck in traffic most of the time.

Even though we’re aware of the amount of pruning and editing we do posting online, we tend to forget that everyone else is doing the same thing. We subconsciously think someone’s photogenic and always has a great smile when that may not be the case. It’s only going to drive you crazy if you compare your day to day director’s cut film to everyone else’s highlight reel. Regardless, the comparisons seep in anyway.

My comparison induced vice has always been a question of productivity and balance. When I wrote the first Nightmare Detective novel, I remember the pain of going months without working on anything only to try and play catch up over a two week period. I vowed to be more consistent, and by doing so, never put myself in a situation where I have to kill my happiness and free time to make up for my procrastination. I’ve been better at the consistency. Although I’m not writing the 500 words a day that I’ve set out to do, I’m also not spending weeks doing nothing and then hating myself for it. But it’s that last bit that is the bigger goal for me. I’ve learned that it’s very easy for me to be down on myself for not accomplishing the right amount in a quick enough time frame. I’ll set a goal while I’m not in the middle of the fight (write 500 words a day, read at least one book a day with my kids, better myself at work everyday, go to the gym 4 times a week, etc) and then beat myself up when I failed in one or more of those areas. I’d ignore the fact that these goals were thought of at different times that have nothing to do with each other but would require insanely productive, highly coordinated days to make possible. Instead, I’d just see a well meaning post on Instagram about being your best self online and it would remind me that I’m not there yet.

If I ruled the world and everything in it, we’d all focus on balance in our adult lives. Before you say “yes” to attending an event or helping a friend move or taking on a new assignment at work, you’d be required to see how it fits in with the rest of your life. The calendar app only shows you how much time you have available in a given day (and that’s if you keep it up to date). It doesn’t keep track of the energy and motivation you’ll have access to next Thursday. It’s great to be productive. It’s great to better yourself and set goals. But the most important thing is avoiding burnout. Because recovering from that will take more time than you think and next Wednesday is already booked solid.

Barbara McMillian – September 24, 1987 6:45AM

I wouldn’t say I’m some innovative spirit or something. I just happened to come around Pangea at the right time. My real life job was working the phones at WZRD, a talk radio station in St. Petersburg. So the idea for the show came from that. I knew that at work, the times where we got the most calls and when I was most busy was when we’d be talking about celebrities doing dumb stuff. The more funny and more mundane, the better. We’d get people calling in to say how they saw Madonna at an airport and she was eating McDonald’s. Or someone would call in to share a story about being on a subway with Richard Gere or something. People loved those segments. So I got the idea from that.

When I learned about Pangea and got my way around it, I started looking for ways to make a little money and the “Everyday Celeb” show was my best idea. Basically, I’d have people pay to join the exclusive group of viewers and when they were in, they’d be able to watch the dreams of whatever celebrity of the week we were featuring. The celeb got paid, we made some good money, and the viewers got to see how we all had the same type of dreams regardless of how famous people are. It worked out well. Obviously these were D level and Z level celebrities because who else would agree to it. But you get the idea. Eventually it got really big and celebrities started seeing that these low level personalities that were featured multiple times got a boost in their careers in real life. They would have all these new fans that would just love them and feel connected to em and not know why. It was because of “Everyday Celeb”. They were watching them when they were asleep and falling in love with them. So eventually we started getting bigger celebrities.

You’d go to bed never hearing a Boy George song and after you’ve seen his dreams for a week, the next thing you know you’ve bought all his albums.

So I know I didn’t change the way the world works or nothing and I didn’t fight some great war. But I feel like I contributed my little piece. And we’re all better for it.

Or worse. I’m not sure

By this point, I’m sure everyone is familiar with the Aunt Becky from Full House College Scandal. If you’re somehow unaware, she and several other wealthy people paid insane amounts of money to help their kids get into the colleges of their choice through test cheating and straight up bribes disguised as charitable donations. It’s one of the stories I can’t get enough of because of the dozens of details that trickle out that showcase both the brazenness and idiocy of the people involved. But one common refrain I hear from people discussing this is that it’s not actually that surprising. It’s been a poorly kept secret for decades that the rich have access to the means to get what they wanted and college fell right into that category. In the back of my mind, I’ve always known that as well but this story has been a good reminder of how deep it goes and how much the deck is stacked against the “average” person in the world. For the person living check to check (more than half of the country), you’re in a race with a weighted vest on while others get head starts and vitamin water. If you complain about the discrepancy, you’re told that everyone’s equal and you should try harder – you bum.

Last week my wife and I made the mistake of going to a local DMV to get our licenses updated. Instead of doing the normal extra long drive to a DMV in some secluded suburb, we took a shot at one near by in a busier city. It was a disaster. These are the type of unforced errors that keep me humble regardless of any success I come across. The DMV office was packed from wall to wall. The AC wasn’t working that warm, spring day so the room was hot and stuffy. From the moment you walked in, you were smacked with heat, the sound of a dozen babies crying, and the conversations of irritated people that gradually got more and more aggressive. Misery. We ended up leaving and driving to another DMV further away, which was still kind of packed, but was cleaner and had working ventilation in the room. But the people stuck at that first DMV (because of lack of transportation, etc) have to complete the same tasks as me – but in much worse conditions.

If people were open about the injustice around us, it would be bad but much more tolerable. Instead, people go out of their way to gaslight others who bring up discrepancies. We’re told that college is the only way to success and that only the best and brightest get in. Everyone is innocent until proven guilty and if/when they are proven guilty, they are punished on an equal scale. Men have just as many obstacles in life as women and we all get paid the same for similar work. Privilege does not exist and the story about the random person who immigrated here from Poland and went on to become a shop owner proves it. Insert cliche false statement. If you think long enough, you’ll remember several that you’ve been told throughout your life.

Kids have a strong sense of justice. If I randomly gave my son a donut without giving his sister one, there will be problems. If I gave out consequences inconsistently for one and not the other for the same offense, there will be blood. That understanding of reaping what you sow is strong while you’re young and it fades as you get older and jaded. It’s why we look for justice in the stories we read and the movies or TV we watch. The bad guy loses, the killer gets caught, the lies get exposed, the couple that was right for each other gets together in the end. From time to time, great storytelling can have us rooting for the villain (I definitely hated Walter White’s wife in Breaking Bad because she wouldn’t let this man sell meth in peace) but for the most part we want to see what’s right.

If I ruled the world and everything in it, we’d all still have the strong sense of right and wrong we had as kids. The years of seeing people cheat and succeed anyway wouldn’t change us. We’d still have a sense of honor that would force us to call out lopsided situations and ignore people who try to convince us otherwise. We’d make think they’re crazy about how they feel because we’re defensive about what we have and how “hard” we worked to get it.

Until then, we can only do the best we can with the cards we were dealt..

May the odds forever be in your favor.

Kendall Gay – April 13, 1997  8:07AM

People think it’s weird living the way I do in Pangea but I think it’s the purest way to live. We can all live on much less in life than what we think we need. We spend our time and effort working and paying bills and trying to keep up with this person and that person. Our entire lives are spent in the pursuit of money. I’m not better than anyone else. I’ve spent my life chasing down the next best thing too. And because of that, I’ve missed so many great moments in the lives of the people around me.

That’s why here in Pangea, I don’t care about any of that. In my Sleep Walking life, people would consider me rich. I have a few cars, a bunch of nice houses, nice clothes, fancy gadgets and all of that. But it doesn’t bring me joy to be honest with you. It brings me stress because it’s a heck of a lot of work to keep all those things. I’m at my happiest when I’m here in this world. I don’t have money, I don’t care about money. I just focus on being around people and enjoying my time here. Of course I can just imagine myself with money or fame or whatever I want really but that’s not what interests me in Pangea. I like helping people and meeting people and just wandering around without a care in the world. It’s extremely liberating.

Two years ago, I spent an entire summer lounging on a beach in this simple town. I didn’t have money so I asked people to give me whatever they could spare. I got a lot of weird looks for that. It makes sense. Who would beg for money in Pangea when you can just create it? But after I got over the awkwardness, I preferred it. Living on the kindness of others and putting that kindness back into the world meant a lot to me.

I only wish I could do the same thing when I’m awake. I live a certain lifestyle that requires enough money to maintain and I just don’t think I have the guts to give that up. Maybe I’ll downgrade one day and be true to myself even while sleep walking. I’m not there yet though. For now, I can only dream about that life. So that’s what I do.

Jacqueline Whitehead – May 22, 2012


I do a lot of good for this world. More than most people will ever know. I’ve been doing this work for about two years now. There’s a couple non-profits that do it but I’m with the Reclamation Project. Our mission statement is simple – we reconnect parents with their children. When we’re assigned a client, we meet with them in real life or Pangea, find out about their child and why they lost them, and then search Pangea high and low for them. Sometimes it’s a kid that ran away from home. Sometimes it’s older kids who moved out for one reason or another and we’re trying to bring the family back together. Other times, unfortunately, it may be a situation where a child was abducted. In those cases, we have a special unit that handles it. I haven’t been a part of this long enough to be at that level but I don’t think I’d every really want to do that. It’s too sad for me.

In either case, we rely on the fact that at some point, everyone sleeps and everyone is a part of Pangea whether they know it exists or not. They dream, they have nightmares, they laugh and cry in this world. Our job is to find them and convince them to go back home. It’s tough stuff and it definitely doesn’t always work out well. But when it does, it’s a beautiful thing. I’m not sure if you’ve seen the Youtube videos of families reconnecting thanks to the work we’ve done with their kids in Pangea. If you haven’t you should do yourself a favor and check it out. If you can watch one of those videos and not cry, you have no soul. I’m sorry.

Anyway, the case I remember the most was one where I had to find a boy whose parents thought ran away from home. He was 10 or 11 at the time. They went the normal route with real life police and everything but two months later, they still couldn’t find him. So they brought us in and I was given the assignment of finding the boy. His name was Nasir. I went to the normal places in Pangea – the city sized indoor water parks, the super malls, Disneyland, different schools from popular movies – nothing. I reported back to my bosses and they told me to expand the search. This was during the World Cup. So one of the Reclaimers I worked with suggested I go to a Pangea World Cup match to see if I could find the boy. You gotta realize this was a crazy idea at the time. There’s probably ten million people in a single stadium to watch the match. All these people from around the world who are dreaming about the same thing at the same time. They’re reliving it all at once while imagining themselves in the stadium, taking in the action in person. It’s beyond hectic.

But I took the advice and I went to the match. There were even more people than I would have thought possible but surprisingly, I found Nasir almost immediately. He was in line to get a hot dog or something. I recognized him and went up to him and told him who I was and that his parents wanted him to come back home. That’s when he told me that he never ran away in the first place. He was kidnapped.

My heart dropped. I thought he was pulling my leg but I remember the panic in his eyes. I’ll never forget that. Never.

I don’t want to relive what happened after that but just know that we got him home. It took backup, an all out battle, and more than I would have cared to see. But we got him back.

And I’ve never been the same ever since.

You are the voice of your generation. You don’t give yourself enough credit for it, but you are. When you speak, people take notice. People see the way you move, the way you interact with others, the way you treat people. There may be people who you think have it all that actually look up to you. There may be people you call friends who can’t stand you for one reason or another. Our lives are incredibly intertwined. We impact others, both positively and negatively, multiple times each day. We’re social creatures that need interaction to be happy. Those interactions leave imprints that build up how we view the world and they can come in many different ways.

If you’re on social media, there are people who keep track of the statuses, pictures, memes, and updates you post but never comment, like, or share. They may have positive or negative opinions of your online persona but you’re not aware of their presence at all. More than likely, you also do this to other people without realizing it. Everyone lurks online to some extent and because of that, there are people you influence that won’t come to mind as you read this. I was at the grocery store with my wife and met a woman I went to high school with. She asked me about the book and my kids because she’s kept up with them online even though I can’t remember her ever leaving a comment or liking a post. We even recognized each other immediately even though we haven’t seen each other in person in almost 15 years. Seeing someone’s pictures online ends up replacing the need to see them in person.

Your face to face interactions have an effect too. Right now, there’s someone retelling a joke they overheard you say to someone else. There’s someone smiling to themselves about an off-the-cuff compliment you gave them about their jacket a week ago. There’s another person giving you unseen side-eyes because they still remember the time you cut them off on the way into the company parking lot. There’s someone who’s asking people to confirm attendance to their party twice because they remember you flaking on them the last time.

If I ruled the world and everything in it, we’d all have to watch one of those corny company training videos about being an influencer. It would have terrible actors looking directly into the camera and would start with one saying “What do you mean I influence everyone?” Then I’d come on screen and say “That’s right, you do” before walking through a generic office while the camera follows me. We’d all be more aware of the repercussions of our actions. Adults would stop cursing around my kids in public as if they rent out control of their body on weekends. My side-eyes would not go unseen so that in the future, they think about them the next time a parent and their kids stand next to them in line.

We’d all be more aware of our impact and act accordingly. That doesn’t necessarily mean I’d expect everyone to be perfect all the time. But we’d at least be conscious of what we’re doing.