Joe Valentin's Blog

Currently halfway done with my second short story.

Ernest Hemingway said it best-

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.
- EH.

I have very much done this in my second story. I have laughed and cried writing this beginning. I truly believe a good "scary" story should have most emotions in them; Thrilling, funny, scary, emotional, and a sense of intimacy.

Be ready for an emotional scary ride.

-Joe

The idea of taking your mini Jedi apprentices on vacation seems like a fantastic idea. The vision one has is that of near perfection. The meals are close to godliness, the pictures we take as Jedi parents are perfect and could be used as magazine covers, everyone is laughing and enjoying every moment of the trip…[image error]

Reality…

My wife and I decided to take the two little padawans on a fun/mind blowing adventure in our Millennium Falcon. The plan was to hit the zoo right after the 4-hour drive, eat, then check into our quarters and rest up. The next day was to take the padawans to the children’s museum for most the day ending the day with some swimming and an old fashion cookout. Mix in some Disney songs sung by “yours truly” and some great food stops, this trip was near perfection.

Explosions… Not The TIE Fighters Type.

We thought we took all safety precautions before we took off from our home. Everything from food, drinks and diapers were packed, Yoda was house sitting, our personal x-wing escort was scheduled, everything was a done deal. We had fueled up (gotten coffee) got breakfast for the kids, and I turned on my audible book and we were about halfway to our destination when we smelled it. This smell was no fuel leak nor was it Chewy’s morning breath. It was something straight from the trash compacter that Luke, Leia, Chewy, and Han went through while saving Leia from the first Death Star. My companion looked at me and asked me if I could smell it, of course I could. It came from the youngest seated right behind me. I responded as Han did, out of annoyance “Oh, wow, what an incredible smell you discovered…”. It was just our luck that there was zero rest stops during this stretch and absolutely no fast exits. Nausea kicked in, and a cracked window did entirely nothing in the next couple minutes. Our safety gas masked had somehow vanished and we were stuck, with “My little Pony’s” blaring from our ship to a sleeping stink bomb that just got worse the longer she slept. Finally, an exit, we pulled into the first gas station and checked the damage. “Dear God…” My partner said. “It’s everywhere, hands, hair, near her mouth, HOW could it have leaked out like this? This is worse than anything the Empire could have come up with.” I agreed with her, glad I wasn’t the one hands deep in the mess, that’s what happens when you’re the “first responder.” I came up with the great idea to go get an air freshener, it was needed, this smell needed to be terminated once the damage was cleaned. Thankfully we saved the car seat and the youngest padawan

.[image error]

Zoo- Wild Creatures

Normally zoo’s, in my opinion are fun. The rare creatures one sees while walking around that normally aren’t from this planet. But not this day. It was as hot as the sun, more than likely hotter. Remember when Anakin was struck down by Obi Wan on the planet Mustafar, and while Anakin is laying there the fire lava is getting closer and closer and finally reaches him and catches Anakin on fire, causing him fully to change over to the dark side and turning him into Darth Vader… Yeah, that’s how hot it was…

Also, let’s talk about the loving, cute, adorable creatures that we were there to see, oh that’s right, EVEN THE CREATURES were like “NOPE” on this day and literally couldn’t be found at any exhibit.  Oh, but when you did finally catch sight of one, the look on the animal’s face was that of pure anger and annoyance. I might have seen maybe one monkey, maybe.

[image error]

Museum- Ancient Artifacts

This was a good time, I saw relics from the history of the Clone Wars, the Rebel Uprising, and the kids had fun of course. This museum was huge, four or five levels of exploring, not including the basement with the dinosaurs. After a couple hours of walking, not even about 10% done with exploring and observing everything, my wife and I looked around and saw the fellow parents. I realized there are three different types of individuals here and at the zoo from the previous day.

There are the “Let’s get this done” people. These individuals are the ones who have the kids strapped down on them or on something, moving fast and controlling their young like no other. Normally one steps aside for them due to them not even thinking about stopping and wouldn’t even hesitate to run others over.

Then there are the “slow people” normally walking at a pace that is just in everyone’s way. These people have no idea what they are doing or where they are going and when they stop to read descriptions of artifacts they stop right in the middle of the already tight area, then look at you like you’re in their way when you are trying to walk by. However, The slow people are nothing compared to the final group of individuals.

I can’t even think of a name to describe this third group. Not only do they stop and read everything in the middle of the corridor, but they also stop and have full on discussions with random citizens just trying to get to the restrooms. “Oh, hi there! I see you have a little one having a mental breakdown due to the overload of pure FUN, but let’s stop and talk about how amazing this dinosaur replica is shall we? Oh, I’m in your way, well how rude!” These people are also the same ones who will plan what they want to eat later that day while standing in middle of the chaos. My wife looked at me, annoyed of her surroundings and said, “There needs to be lanes! This is ridicules!!! I’m going to say something, this is just rude…” She didn’t but I’m sure she felt better to get that off her chest.

She is right however, like the interstate, there are lanes. Is it really that bad of an idea to purpose at zoos and museums? The fast lane on the left are for those “get this done” type, the right lane for the people who are walking at that annoying slow pace, the pace that you can’t even pass. And the right lane for the individuals who don’t even know where their kids are while discussing dinner ideas, and still can’t even agree on that.  And the middle lane for those who are walking at a decent and observant pace. I think she is on to something with the lane idea.

[image error]

Overall!? A Blast!

All in all the kids had fun and the food was great. I finished one of my books while the wife started another one herself. The pictures turned out, some captured minor meltdowns and attitudes while others nailed the moments perfectly. The trip was a success for the kids and the wife and I.  It was a fun way to watch the little padawans learn about the universe around them and a fun way to celebrate our 8th year married.  We can’t imagine celebrating our anniversary without the free entertainment of our little padawans running around us.

C-3PO : He made a perfectly legal move.

Han Solo: Let him have it. It’s not wise to upset a Wookiee.

C-3PO: But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid.

Han Solo: That’s ’cause a droid don’t pull people’s arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookiees have been known to do that.

C-3PO: I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, R2. Let the Wookiee win.

Star Wars Episode IV

 

The system we have in our household is nearly that of a Jedi Academy. We have shifts with the kids. She works first, I work seconds, I have the kids in the morning, she has them at night. While I’m at work “Fighting Monsters” as my oldest likes to put it, my wife is at home training the kids in the art of force in our Academy. She also reads, reads and reads with the girls. You can take my oldest daughter’s lightsabers away and she will be slightly upset. You can take some cartoon hologram time away; her life will go on. BUT, you take away or threaten to take away those books of the ancient Jedi stories of pink princesses and magical ponies, be ready to have the duel of your life… Just picture the Anakin Skywalker and Obi Wan Kenobi final battle when in the end, Obi Wan (parent) says; “Don’t do it…” and Anakin’s response (daughter) “You underestimate my powers…” which leads to Anakin’s ultimate demise and final transition to the dark side while failing to live up to being “the chosen one”.

 

I like to believe that I do a lot for these kids, but in all actuality, The Dark Sith Lord Herself does! the tolerance this woman has with playing CandyLand over and over and over and yes, over again is miraculous… I grew up in a family were if the game wasn’t going your way or you just wanted it to end, just flip the table. Or as Chewy did when he is about to lose to R2D2 in a game of Space Chess, threaten to rip out his parts and disassemble him on the spot. I do not know what my wife’s record is against my daughter, but I’m sure it’s not great and I know my daughter is like me and finds a way to win…. When no one is paying attention at any means imaginable.

 

I partake in games with my wife and daughter occasionally, and what I see while playing is how my oldest daughter runs the games like she is the ultimate smuggler. Almost as good as Han Solo playing Sabacc, the card game in which he won the Millennium Falcon from his friend Lando. The next observation I made while joining my wife on her 100th game (Congratulations Love!) was that it was always my daughter’s turn and it was just our jobs to sit and watch her play for three. Dad: “hey kid it’s daddy’s turn” A: oh, ok, here you go (hands over the spinner), here let me help you, its spins like this….” Dad: “Thanks kid, thank you for spinning for daddy, you helped me a lot…”. I consideration this and thought, if anyone of my siblings had done this to the other, lightsabers would have been drawn and force choking would commence! Additionally, I have spotted A’s new found competitiveness and that was and is the most entertaining trait to witness.

 

Throughout the game I patiently waited my turn and listened intently to my four-year-old as she explained the many new and random rules that she established to me as the game progressed, to help her reach her final ambition to victory. Her near defeat however threw her off her square for a moment though. The look of pure annoyance came over her face when she had to return all the way back to the Peppermint Forrest. It was at this moment you saw the smuggler in her and her gears hard at work in her head as she formulated a plan on how to get out of her current predicament. If she had to return all the way back to the blasted Peppermint Forrest, everyone had too.

 

I will say, she has her younger sister trained well. She has not yet become a Jedi, but has already taken on an apprentice regardless. Our youngest moved towards our area, as if my oldest waved her hands to guide her with the force, made her way to our game and began her devastating rain of pandemonium and destruction. In the few seconds that followed, our one-year-old who had instantly become an outrageous Jar Jar Binks type, had annihilated the board game, I watched my oldest daughter achieved her objective and placed all the other character pieces at Peppermint Forrest while hers crossed the finish line. I chuckled at her move and knew I would have probably done the same thing at her age. “You got that victory kid” or as Solo said to Luke; “Good shot kid! Now don’t get cocky!”

 

I remember when my siblings and I would duel it out during our board games. The slightest snarkiest grin made by either one of us could cause absolute war. After spending, what seemed like lightyears in “passing go” and “going to jail” I made a sarcastic remark while collecting my credits from my twin sister, she preceded an attempt to disband the game as a Wookie would undoubtedly do in defeat, by ripping the table and throwing the game. My older sister, would say something polite about the odds of winning and encourage her to stay, as C3PO would to Han Solo in a life or death situation. All in the while my younger sister, like a Jawa, would energetically scavenge the loose credits laying on the floor and new properties to claim as her own. In the midst of this most chaotic moment, I realized, I had won and despite my sibling’s best efforts, I was the victor. Which lead to my cheesy eight-year-old grin, that cause even more of an uproar between all the siblings who had lost what seemed like everything to them, turned their disappointment all on me. As I stood victorious for those few moments I felt like I defeated Darth Vader myself. The pounding that an army of three could do to an army of one in that dazed moment was unforgettable. The pinching, scratching, hair pulling and biting will never be forgotten nor will it be retold, my pride still hurts remembering it at this moment.

 

Now as a father, watching my daughter educate my wife and I in this simple kid’s game of, CandyLand and seeing her cheesy grin that slowly appears after her own victories.  Invaluable and one of the most pleasurable instants to be a part of.

 

Game on parents, game on and good luck in the many games you play with your little ones.

 

-YoungJediDad

 

 

 

 

 

 

Star Wars: A New Hope. Dir. George Lucas. Perf. Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher. 20th Century Fox, 1977. DVD.

Star Wars, Episode III, Revenge of the Sith. By George Lucas. Dir. George Lucas. Prod. George Lucas and Rick McCallum. Perf. Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, and Hayden Christensen. 20th Century Fox, 2005. DVD.

“A father is neither an anchor to hold us back nor a sail to take us there, but a guiding light whose love shows us the way.”

– Unknown

A father’s love is a strong sturdy love. It weathers through the good and the bad times in a child’s life.  In the mind of a child, everything is a BIG DEAL; Misplacing a special toy, not having the right snack, or even not playing the game “correctly”. In our adult minds, these are very insignificant issues, but for our kids, these are enormous life altering circumstances. Fathers don’t handle every one of these circumstances the same way or even correctly all the time. The imperative element of being a father, however is the strength and energy one puts into their child’s life. The time we spend with our kids, as a father, is significant in their developing behaviors.

Yes, more then we like we routinely play the “bad guy” when it comes to “correcting” and “educating” our kids. Which sucks because our kids tend to run to mommy or want to spend more time with the “fun” aunts and uncles while all we said was a simple “no” on milk and said it was time for water. Guess what dads, that time will pass. Once it does, every moment with that son or daughter will become a blast! Now, when my daughter does something she knows isn’t ok she has this little thing called “sass” and let me tell you. It’s so hard to keep a straight face when it comes to dealing with her now! The way she gets all confidant in her actions and her justification, my God it’s hard not to laugh!

Dads, guess what? It’s ok to show compassion, its ok to show affection, its ok to show sadness with your kids. No man cards can ever be taken away due to sharing special moments with our children. When my daughter paints my nails, she does more than my nails… my entire toes are one color! If I would ever have to take my shoes/socks off in public place, people will question my lifestyle 100%….. Dads, our lifestyle is “the dad life”, embrace it. Having a rock concert in one’s car to My Little Pony is completely acceptable when you’re making a long drive fun…. Count those short drives also!

 

To the dads who embrace their dad lifestyle, their dadbods, daddy bracelets, and who truly enjoy spending moments with their little ones. Happy Father’s Day!

– Joe “YoungJediDad”

Happy Fathers day to all you amazing dads out there.

If your a new dad, Welcome to fatherhood, Your life will never be the same.

If your a father who has always been there for your kids, You Rock.

If your a father who has filled the roll of fatherhood to the fatherless, Your Amazing.

If your a father who has come back in your child’s life and rebuild a relationship with them, Your Awesome.

Regardless of how you are a dad, Today is your day. You don’t have to have kids to celebrate today. You could be an individual who has taken someone under your wing and have filled that empty hole in someone’s life who has no father. Being a father takes a special individual. Not anyone can be a Superhero, Jedi, or a King but those who take that responsibility realize somethings real fast. A. WTF did I do?! B. Easy, lets have another. C. Just starting to build my army of minions…. Which ever one of these best describe you as a father it all leads to the same thought. You eventually come to realization that you are never looking back to your life before kids. Before getting your toes painted and before you mastered the art of hair braiding with your girls. Digging in the dirt and fishing with your sons. These little parts of you are everything you hold dear in life, Those little smiles melt your heart.

So, All you dads out here, young and old. Here’s to you. May you have plenty of beers and hugs today.

 

-Joe “YoungJediDad”

My Story….

It has been a long, hard road to be honest. The year’s 2014 and 2015 had not been the greatest for the Valentin family. Financially tough, emotionally, and at times mentally straining. After a failed sales career, I moved my family back home from Cincinnati, Oh. to Canton, Il in hopes to restart and rebuild. For the first time in my life I bounced from job to job and felt like a failure to my wife and little girl. My wife, without me knowing, reached out to Ashford and did her own research on AU and set up a call for me while I was at work. She had a goal, which was to help me find my self worth again and bring back the confidence in myself that I once had. I came home and she told me the news and informed me that I would be getting a call from AU any day. Boy! Am I glad I took that call… Erick reached out to me in May of 2014 and we talked about my degree and my major, this dude is/was brilliant and a great admissions counselor. The road to finish my degree had started thanks to my wife and to Erick.

There were, at points throughout this nearly two-year journey, that I wanted to stop and call it quits. I felt I was wasting energy and time on a dream that I felt was out of reach. I gained a couple extra gray hairs and wrinkles during this time, but my wife kept pushing, kept reminding me about the end results of this achievement in my life if I kept with it.

Bouncing from a factory job, multiple sales jobs, no job, to a place I never thought I would end up, construction. The ups and downs of my job situation was mentally exhausting for me. Surprisingly, working construction was the balance I needed. I was clueless in this new line of work and couldn’t tell you the difference between a hammer and a sledgehammer. However, the patience my boss had with me is what kept me from not having a meltdown.

After a year of working construction my outlook started changing. I was learning something new everyday and enjoyed working outside with my hands. I had about four more classes left and saw the light at the end of the tunnel and realized my goal of having a degree was insight. I received a phone call and was offered a job with the IDOC (Illinois Department of Corrections) from way back when I tested nearly a year before. I accepted, yet then realized that I would have to put my hopes on gaining my degree on hold due to being sent to academy to become a correctional officer. AU was very understanding and supportive. In fact, Dylan was my student adviser at the time and helped me fill out the correct paper work in regards to my leave of absence in order to attend my six-week long training academy, on top of that, they gave me more time after I graduated from academy to get my feet on the ground at my new facility.

Fast forward to April 4, 2016. I finished my last paper and class at AU and now on April 10th, I feel like I need to be finishing up another paper or respond to a discussion post. I feel a great emotional weight and burden has been lifted off my shoulders. For the first time in a long time I feel successful.

THIS has been the year for the Valentin’s. A new career, another little girl on the way (any day/moment now), and waiting to close on our first home. To add to that my bachelor’s degree! I never thought I would be able to say that I would have a bachelor’s in arts degree and have completed my communication major. I feel that self worth again, that confidence I used to have. I feel proud that I have accomplished this major stepping stone, not just for myself, but for my family. I have bettered my kid’s lives with this conclusion of this chapter in my life.  As much as I would love to attend my graduation ceremony cross country with my fellow AU graduates, due to a very pregnant wife and distance I won’t be able to attend. The fact of the matter is, we did it!  The graduating class of 2016, with all of our backgrounds and current life situations we accomplished a dream we all had in common, a better future! Bring on 2017!

-Joe

 

I’m currently working on my final paper for college. If all goes well, a week from today I will have finally obtained my degree in communication. This finale paper is centered around not just fatherhood, but also motherhood and the importance of time parents spend with their newborns. I’m writing this as if I’m writing a  “feature story” for any magazine I choose. I have picked Parents Magazine. I have Less then a week to get this done and my goal is to get this done by Friday… Here is my opening…

It’s not a shocker to keep in mind that many companies here in the United States give very little time for new mothers and comparatively none to fathers. There is no law or any form of legislation that mandates them to over such a thing to their employees. I believe that now is the time for the government and business to truly consider equal parental paid leave time and the benefits it brings. It does not only balance the significances of mothers and fathers in families but also provides cutting edge advantages to specific business organizations. In this piece we will understand the importance equal parental leave and understand the value of both a father and a mother’s love and nurture and the importance of the time that is needed between parents and their new-borns.

 

Kids. Wouldn’t it be nice to just be one forever?! No worries and care in the world. Other then picking which parent to get a snack from… Then figuring out a way to get the other parent to give you another snack… On top of that, the struggle gets even more real when waiting for your next meal time and getting out of nap-time. Taking this class and being a father of a two year old along with being a parent in general, these points we learned from this class can be applied to almost any aspect of life, and having a chance to have one of the funnest jobs a man could ever ask for, being a dad and applying these teachings to my family life. On a professional level and along with my career choice, the new knowledge I gained from the assignments, and class discussions throughout the class are and will make me better in the business world.

Affirmative Action is “…a recruitment philosophy that originally designed to promote a wider, more inclusive application pool.” In other words the HR team that does the hiring has a chance to have a bigger hiring pool. In construction you would think that it’s a man’s man job. IF that was true, the hiring pool would be shrunk due to not hiring woman and only hiring men. This philosophy is talking about sex, race, and at times age when it comes to what defines affirmative action. Also on experience in regards to the job an individual might be applying for. EEO or Equal Employee Opportunity is very much tied into this as well. This law tells hiring companies that everyone has the right to work  based on their merit ability, and potential and they can’t be refuse based on race or gender. I watched a news story about a man named “Jose”, he couldn’t get an interview and/or a call back from jobs he applied too and he wondered why. He changed one simple thing, changed his name on his resume from “Jose” to “Joe”. He got a phone call from the company he had applied for within the week (if I remember correctly), in fact. Jose got more phones calls just by changing names from “Jose” to “Joe”. I thought about it, by resume says Jose just because I feel it’s my legal name and I would feel its misleading, on a business and professional level if I informed them my name was Joe. Now everyone calls me Joe, but I look at it in reference to HR paper work and background checks companies do when hiring and looking into a candidate.

Human resources planning, recruitment, and selection. This section was a fun one to read, review, and go over. We talked about this in week two of the class. This is how HR Manages their groups, teams, and departments and the end goal is to have the right people in the right area for both the company and the individuals. Now finding an individual is done by recruiting, if it’s by emailing, job fairs, or even posting on social media sites, recruiting can be done in so many different ways in today’s world. When recruiting companies try to find an individual who fits into their culture and business model. For example, I have an old friend who works at Zappos. A clothing company based out of Las Vegas and is owned 51% by Amazon. She works in the human resources department and does the hiring along with the firing. She recently talked me into applying to the company, which I did. Zappos has a very laid back business model along with a creative-high energy atmosphere. One of the ways they select people is by how creative an individual can be and if they stick out (positively). I did something I never heard of before when I applied, which my friend helped explained to me how to do it. I created a “video cover letter.” This is when you send a video of yourself explaining who you are and why they should look at you and hire you. She recommended doing something funny and goofy to stick out with a twist of professionalism (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfjAsVHqZ9M). The point is, businesses are different and some select individuals who see a process laid before them and do it while others encourage people to be creative and come up with different ways to get the same result. Like my mother says “ 2+2=4, but so does 3+1, we all have different ways to get to the same result. Now looking further at the selection process this class has taught me that there are other forms of ways HR does their selection when hiring an individual. Conducting interviews, face to face, the traditional way to help make the selective process easier. But other methods are used more and more thanks to technology. I have had a Skype interview before along with just a three-phone call interview process. These ways to select individuals are normally the final step when hiring and gives the company a good handle and understanding of who they are hiring.

Thanks to technology we can reach out to old friends and new friends due to social media sites. We can look up companies and the individual looking for a job can, in a way, pick and choose who they want to apply for, for their very own selection process. Social media is a good tool to recruit new possible employees. LinkedIn is very popular for company’s recruiters to use to help them find individuals who could fit into their cultural environment. There is also Monster.com and IndeedJobs.com which allows companies to post jobs and recruiters to use for their benefit. I have even seen companies go as far as using Facebook to reach out to people who are on the job hunt. Employers use media sites to assist and find people for their companies, they also use these same tools to weed out individuals. For example, I’m friends with my employer on Facebook, we have attended family functions together with our children, regardless though. If I would post something negative about how he does something or how I feel the company is slacking and not doing right, I know he would have no problem with saying goodbye and enjoy the job hunt. Meaning, Companies watch what we do and say online. If we post negative and argumentative statements on Twitter, a possible employer could look at me as someone who is very standoff-ish and questions authority, thus not hiring me because they don’t want to hire a “cancer.”

Now the benefits side of the company is critical and some would say is the heart of the company.  All aspects of the company touch Benefits.  It’s important that the team and every individual within the organization truly understands medical, dental, visual, and 401K information. When it came to moving my then pregnant wife to Ohio and working for the logistics company this was my first encounter with picking my own medial plans and understanding what I was doing, I had no idea. I was a fresh college student who had insurance through the university and our parents and never had to worry about this side of life. I was continuously in the benefits office asking questions and getting the answers on the best plan for a young couple getting ready to have their first child. This class and personal experiences has shown me first hand what compensation is. This could be anything from sick days, bonuses, vacation pay, and stocks from the company. All of these must be completive with every other company. If I would get a phone call from Google and offered a chance to work as a project manager  and the very next day had a similar opportunity to work at Apple Inc., not only would I be supper excited and blessed but I would look at their benefits and compensation. I have said through this class that people more and more don’t look for a career job anymore, They are looking for a stepping stone job that gets them higher to where they want to end up at. And benefits and compensation could have a strong pull in that area for some. For me, it 100% does. In the most non-selfish way, these two things drive my decisions. Being medically sound and financially secure drive me, money drives me. I want to spoil my kids and wife and give them anything they ever want/ed.

We also talked about Safety in this class in regards to HR and how they handle things. Now both safety and workman’s comp is important. If I were to get hurt on the job site for my current boss in construction I would be taking money away from the company in so many ways. My boss would possibly have to pay my wages, short term disability and along with possibly hiring another employee to fill my spot while I would be gone. It’s important to understand this side of thing as an employee because some companies don’t offer some of these things. You fall off a roof, some construction companies don’t offer short/long term disability insurance and just say “see ya!” if this happens. In my current job, I am fortunate enough to have a boss in the construction world who is proactive and understands the importance of offering these to his employees.

Finally, this class has helped me understand the importance of Employee Relations and how it works within a company. Employee Relations  works directly with the employee population to better the work place.  Issues, recognition, and terminations are handled within this fun team in the HR department. It’s important this team has a good working relationship with managers, leads, directors, and the executive team because of how crazy things can get at times. This is the side of Human Resources I would like to eventually be on. I feel I have thick skin and if push came to shove in regards to letting someone go due to a legit reason, I could do it. I have witness a situation unfold across my desk in Ohio when an individual was fired on the spot. I’ll make this example as “PG” as I can. I’ll name the employee, “Tom”. Tom wasn’t doing a job great hitting his numbers and job requirements and he knew his job was on the line and in the hot seat, in sales, it always is. So one day he called up his girlfriend and had a thirty minute inappropriate chat with her. Now our trainers see when we are on the phone and for training purposes tap into our calls to see how we are in reaching out to possible clients and give us tips on how we can do better. Well, our trainer jumped on Toms phone call and she was in shock. HR was called along with security and Tom was escorted out immediately.  His phone office phone record was pulled and this wasn’t his first time of having such a call. Some terminations can be crazy like that, yet be just as easy, others can be tough and hard for that which I can handle.

These are the different topics we talked about during BUS303. It was a class I have been excited to take because Human Resources is were I want to be with my career once I graduate and understanding key tools and concepts through a management side of Human Resources was even better. Growing up and being an adult is apart of human life. We take life lessons and at times apply them to real situations and through jobs we have learn how to handle them correctly. As I say in my Zappos cover video letter. “Being a parent has taught me one thing, one very important things in life, patience; How to keep my cool when everything gets messy…” As a parent you are the Human Resources Manager for your company a.k.a. family. The older the child gets, the more departments get open to help prepare them for their journey in life and the very same step that we all were scared of at one point. Adulthood.

 

Final Paper

Joe Valentin

Instructor Kern

BUS303

JUNE 22, 2015

 

 

Reference

 

Youssef, C. (2012). Human resource management. San Diego, CA: Bridgepoint Education.

 

People practice communication every minute of every day. If its non-verbal, verbal, or even with technology.  How individuals communicate with others around them is completely on that individual alone. Yes, there are other variables and factors that come into play, but the pace and only oneself controls interactions of one, not by others around them. This concept will be explained by using personal examples, scholarly sources, and interviews with peers and fellow employees. Conflict can happen at any time during any situation. An individual could be joking with another person and take it to far and not even realize and then start a conflict. Looking at someone with a sarcastic expression could flip a switch with someone and cause a conflicting situation. How people handle these moments varies immensely, either takes is offensively or just rolling with it. Working in many different fields over the course of two years has opened my eyes to this idea. Working in sales and understanding needs assessment and how a customer responds to bad news or news that does not favor their wishes and learning how to overcome those moments. Working in the trades doing construction and knowing how to handle situations with fellow employees and mother nature on jobs sites has taught me to empathize and be more patient. Finally, currently working at a facility as a correctional officer has taught me that the slightest thing one can say, that in all actuality is a very small thing in the outside world, could be upsetting and turn threatening in the prison system. I believe that you and only you can control conflict and can defuse any conflicting situation. Actions and how one interacts determines the outcome of a bad situation worsening or becoming better. This paper will talk about five major points regarding conflict; Why does conflict occur? The positive and negative effects of conflict, role of personality types in conflict management, communication techniques, and climate in a conflicting situation.

 

Why does conflict occur? In my own words, I would say it occurs due to pride when it comes to human vs. human interaction. But according to Laurie Weingart, conflict is; “A situation where people are opposed to one another, advocating for different outcomes” (Thomas, 1992, Weingart, 2015). In an article by Weingart titled, The Directness and Oppositional Intensity of Conflict Expression,  the discussion was about conflict in the work place and how understanding conflict can show us new effects conflict has on people. They also talk about how people react and choose to either escalate or de-escalate conflict and how the vibrant effect conflict can influence people in those challenging times. Weingart gets it right when she describes conflict. Two sides and one side is either on the offensive or defensive side, trying to get the upper hand in the end result when it comes to the outcome of the situation. Offenders vs Officers is a great example of a type of conflict when it comes to rules and regulations. Offenders feel that their prison cell is their home, yes it is, but they also feel that also means they treat their cell house (example; housing can hold 448 inmates) as they would their own homes, dirty, pack rats, unsanitary, and at times grossly unlivable. Officers who handle situations like this look at this situation and can agree, yet disagree at the same time. Yes, the inmate is living in their cell but they must maintain a clean cell for the whole house to keep the spread of disease, sickness, and other forms of spreadable bacteria from affecting fellow offenders and other officers. Some officers might even go as far as saying that you have no rights to privacy while incarcerated, thus the notion of saying that a cell is their home is invalid for the inmates to feel. This is one of many possible conflicts beginnings that happen in prisons with both officers and inmates, but the situation shows a form of conflict in which Weingart talks about. Two sides, two different oppositions, trying to get their points across to one another, thus conflict arises from both parties.

The following scenario will be used throughout the course of this paper as a “base example” to go off from and explain by using personal reasoning along with scholarly sources and definitions.

The other day I noticed an inmate walking around during their dayroom hour and a half designated time slot. He was passing things through cells to and from, along with not wearing appropriate attire. I approached him, with the full intent of locking him up in his cell as punishment regardless of what he said. My mind was that he knew he was breaking rules and risked that by continuing to break them in front of other offenders and officers, thus creating the notion to the other offenders that the rules really aren’t that major in reference to passing things too and from cells and dressing correctly during dayroom hours.  My mind was made up before I approached the individual due to him being a past offender on the established rules within the facility. I had my arms out with a look of seriousness and confusion; “What are you doing? Why are you not following dayroom rules with your attire and why have I been watching you pass books, food, and magazines from four different cells?” The inmate looked at me and with a raise of his shoulders and the rolls of his eyes I knew he could careless of the rules and wanted all the other offenders to take notice of how he doesn’t care about the current authority. I continued to walk to him raising my voice slightly louder, “I asked you a simple question, looks like you would rather lock up and be put on day room restriction…” on that he turned around and faced me. “Based on what authority? You cant just restrict me from day room!” I knew I had the his attention and he knew that all the other inmates started listening in. For the record, I do/did have that authority to restrict him from dayroom or yard/gym time for that matter, but this young 23 year old thought otherwise. We had a discussion and I informed him either he locks up for me or he gets a ticket AND locks up in his cell. The offender looked at me, smiled turned to serious face bent down, took off his shower shoes put on his shoes raised back up with a step forward and said. “Well CO, if I’m going to lock up, I might as well lock up for a real reason and with a bang…” instantly I knew this could end up horrible if I didn’t act quickly in defusing the situation. All 111 inmates in that wing stopped talking on the phones, stopped their card games, stopped showering, stopped watching TV and watched to see what the next move was going to be. I wasn’t for sure if something would go down if some inmates would come to my aid or get another officer/s or would they join in on the fighting and possibly send me to the hospital. I locked eyes with the offender who just threatened me and said. “You could very well do that, but you know that within an hour you will be in segregation, transported to a max security prison like Pontiac, Manard, or even Stateville in their segregation where offenders and officers treat you 100x worse then you are treated here along with less freedom you will have their then you have here…” I made it obvious I had my hand on red security button on my radio, he looked down saw me bring my radio up to my mouth ready to call for back up and turned around while saying “I’m just going to go lock up…” “Good choice.” I replied. About an hour later I went to his cell and had him come to an interview room and talked with him, after we both cooled down from our previous encounter. I started off by stating I was sorry I came off abrasive and asked him how I might have handled things differently. He was shocked by this approached and instantly responded with an apology of his own for threatening me and for putting on a show. We acknowledge our actions and how we both could have approached the situation differently. He was shocked that an officer, would ask for an apology from him, an offender.

In the above example one can find both positive and negative techniques used and see possible outcomes that could have ended this situation differently. An interesting way to look at this scenario is that, according to Todorova and Weingart wrote an article regarding how conflict could actually be energizing for some individuals. A Study of Task conflict, positive emotions and job satisfaction found in the Journal of Applied Psychology introduces the idea that people find energy from a conflicting situation. So looking at the above example it could be argued that either offender or officer both found something energetic about the conflict that took place in that wing, something almost like adrenaline and they both enjoyed it? or perhaps they both knew that all eyes were on each of them and that whoever came out “victorious” in the end in front of the other inmates was the more dominate individual. To think that would more then likely be most accurate in this scenario. One of the major key understanding ideas in prison that one needs to understand is the presence of dominance and winning and losing. For most outside of this environment that’s a very childish way of thought, but if further looked at and experienced it’s better understood. Negatively, this conflict, after further thought about, started with the officer for his abrasive and hostile start in reference to tone that was used. This tone, as the inmate took from it (when in the interview room talking about the situation with the officer) instantly was insulted and felt disrespected, and disrespected in front of 111 other inmates. The officer could have gotten seriously hurt not by one offender but by a total of 112, all by simply using the wrong tone. This is the negative effect on communication. Now looked at on the positive side. Both offender and officer learned what not to do/say in future relating situations. Both took the importance of tone and nonverbal tone, like when the inmate put on shoes and stepped forward to the officer.

Personality is very important when it comes to communication management and plays a huge role in conflicting situations. The officer in the above example has a very dry sense of humor and has very sarcastic jokes with both officers and inmates daily. Some might look at it and say “awww that’s just so-and-so, he is a easy officer to get along with, just don’t get on his bad side…” some could very well be confused by this and might all this inconsistent with the normal actions of the officer. Point is, personalities, for example the officers in the story above, could end up causing confusion and by doing that, causing conflict, regardless if rules are broken by the inmates.

In the end, both offender and officer used great communication techniques when it came to understanding each others actions. The officer acknowledged his mistreatment and listen to constructive criticism from the inmate rather then believing the majority of the conflict came from the offender. The offender listened to the officers point of view when it came to rules and guidelines that both him and the offender have to follow on a daily basis in the facility. The officer knows inmates will do inmate things while the inmates acknowledges that officers can and do at times truly don’t intend to handle situations in a negative form. Listening and understanding the opposing side in any situation is educational for both parties. It teaches individuals how, in this situation, they could have approached each other differently and more respectfully by understanding the thought process each party had/has.

The climate in a prison is already a sad, hostile and at times depressing one, along with being an angry one for some. Throw in the above situation and anything could happen to either an offender or an officer. Understanding that inmates don’t get to walk out anytime like officers can at the end of a shift is critical. Understanding that if somethings happens to an officers spouse they can leave for emergencies, if something happens to an offenders spouse or loved one they can’t. Birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, and Anniversaries, all create both a sad and hostile atmosphere. Just the other day, in inmate was visiting with his wife, who just informed him that her cancer has returned. The same day another inmate was sitting with his wife and two daughters along with their newborn son, the offender cried because he missed the birth and one of his daughters birthdays. Both of these very true and sad situations happen everyday for both male and female prisoners. How they handle themselves after the visit could be unpredictable.

How one handles situations is soley on them, an individual chooses their actions regardless of the horrible variables that come into play. An inmates choses to react based off what an officer said. An officer choses to mistreat an inmate due to the fact that a ticket that was previously written on the offender gets thrown out and nothing is done about it retaliates due to the decision. An officer finds out that his wife or her husband has cheated on them, goes in and mistreats everyone including both fellow officers and inmates due to their misfortune How about an inmate finding out his wife has cancer again and while walking back to his cell house he attacks an officer. Everyone has that “F*** it” moment. I have, and every time I have to think,  “calm down, everything will be ok.”

Conflict is around us everyday, our tone we use and master daily, our choices we make every day affect our days and at times months or years down the road. After looking at sources and reading the articles I still stand by the idea that we control our actions, Every. Single. Time. Regardless of the hardships we might face throughout life. It’s how we choose to overcome, settle, avoid, the actions laid out before us.

 

Final Paper

Joe Valentin

January 11, 2016

Instructor Sexton

COM325

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reference Page

 

Crawley, E. (2002). Bringing It all Back Home? The Impact Of Prison Officers’ Work On Their Families. Probation Journal, 49(4), 277. Doi; 10.1177/026455050204900403

 

Goulston, M. (2015) How People Communicate during Conflict. Harvard Business Review. 93(6)., 22

 

Todorova, G., Bear, J. B., & Weingart, L. R. (2014). Can conflict be energizing? A study of task conflict, positive emotions, and job satisfaction. Journal of Applied Psychology, 99(3), 451-467. Doi; 10. 1037/a0035134

 

Weingart, L. R., Behfar, K. J., Bendersky, C., Todorova, G., & Jehn, K. A. (2015). The Directness and Oppositional intensity of Conflict Expression. Academy of Management Review. 40 (2)., 235262. Doi; 10.5465/amr.2013-0124

Traveling the United States as a kid was fantastic. It’s crazy to think about how each state has it’s very own culture, dominant culture, barriers, language, belief systems, and at times political views (that’s more an individual thing…). I don’t remember the first time we moved to the country of Panama, and I barely remember the second time. The third though, I remember that. Shopping outside and going to the beach to watch my real dad go deep-sea fishing and night crabbing (hunting for crab at night via scuba diving). Panama is the only country I have been to other then living in the US my whole life and I was to young to account for all the difference cultures and subcultures we have discussed in class. My little sister on the other hand has traveled and still continues to do so.  I believe that after talking with Katy about her times in Chili and Costa Rica that over time someone can adopt a culture much quicker then others, Katy is an example of just that.  I further believe that it is absolutely necessary for one to better educate themselves by looking into and even studying another subculture rather then just their own one might live in because makes their own and the culture one is studying the wiser. Everyone benefits.

Some information on Katy, who I have interviewed to talk about her time and experience in a culture she loved. Katy, who decided to become a foreign exchange student her Senior year in high school, and to go to the country of Chili to better herself in the Spanish culture and become bilingual. And then to eventually move to this beautiful country to become a teacher. She graduated high school in 2012 and started her college career at Western Illinois University in Macomb, Illinois. Her bilingual degree that normally takes a person five years to get has only taken her about two and a half years. Katy in this time frame has traveled back to Chili and also to country of Costa Rica to submerged herself in the Spanish culture even more and is furthering her education even more by living and studying abroad in both of those countries in her short time at WIU. Katy is also part Puerto Rican and was never taught Spanish by her family.

Sitting down with Katy and talking about her time she spent in other countries in a more-in-depth fashion was a great experience for me to further my understanding about what it’s like to be apart of another culture. The first question I asked her was; what was it like being the new person in a brand new culture. I personally believe that it would be extremely hard for someone to transition and she said just that. “…Well saying good-bye to you and the family was hard, and I feel that just turning 18 I told myself  ‘I got this’ but as soon as I stepped on the plane, I was horrified.. Even more so once I landed. I was scared, I have never met my host family, I mean yeah, we talked on the phone and all but it was now a real thing, I’m thousands of miles away from home with people I have never met! So Joe, to answer your question I was clueless, I didn’t really know what to expect.” Katy also talked about how polite everyone was to her and how some complete strangers would go out of their way for her to make her trip, not just a better educational experience, but a fantastic stay, which reminded me of the article by De Mente titled, “Politeness Makes Perfect,” which talks about how the Japanese culture treats and honors guest to their county by bowing and the different degrees of respect each bow shows and respects an individual from a stranger to an elderly family member. It can be hard for someone moving to a new state compared to moving to a new country all together. In the article “ In My Heart, I’m an American”: Regional Attitudes and American Identity,” both Griffen and McFarland talk about the just the small difference between the south and rest of the states in America, including the many cultures and subcultures. Living in the south and moving up north could very easily compare to moving, like Katy did, to Chili and Costa Rica, for some people. Up north one would need to have a faster pace lifestyle, tends to be less polite, and will more than likely get to the point faster as compared to a down south person being more relaxed and polite.

Digging deeper into Katy’s time in both these counties I asked her if she had any major barriers and if she over came them.  Katy started off by saying she did her best to prepare herself for the biggest barrier she could think of, communication and speaking the language. Katy informed me that she started changing all her personal stuff that was English (phone and computer) to Spanish so she could learn to read it and the shock wouldn’t be as hard. Her steps worked out somewhat and was a great idea to start everything off, but Katy went on to explain that the classroom setting and merely changing her settings couldn’t prepare her for the speed of how they talked. Katy believed that she was fluent in Spanish but when she was actually in the environment and talking/listening overwhelmed her more then she thought it would. Eventually she started picking up her speed and she said her idea wasn’t a bad one, it helped, but what really helped over all was actually being in those fast past situations when it came to talking and needing to read fast pace in order to keep up with others.

Family is also very key in both countries. I asked her how her family and how the US looks at customs compared to how both other counties held their customs. Katy went right into talking about family. She said that she was treated and called “daughter” often and was expected to participate in family activates as you would expect your own child too. Katy said that here in the US it would be kind of awkward for a host family to start calling a student staying at their home, “daughter” or “son” just because we wouldn’t look at them as such. I very much see her point, I know if I had a child or young adult staying under my roof, going as far to call them either one of those would be awkward for my wife and I, yet we would do everything we could to shine some light in our values and what we feel are American values.

Media is also something I was very interested to understand if either Chili or Costa Rica’s news outlets were similar to that of ours here in the US. I assumed so, so I asked Katy about their news and how the media influenced the cultures, environment, and either countries. Katy laughed out loud and started off by saying; “The US news is depressing…” I laughed and asked her, “How so?” She went on further with her statement and stated that by the time most people here in the US are done watching the news, either CNN, MSN, or FOX, you are in a sad funky depressed mood and/or confused by what you just watched. She said the news here in the US is more depressing and something you may not want to watch with your family/kids, but over in Chili, it was considered family time! She said the media was very much more upbeat and reported on more “feel good” news rather then the slightly more violent news here in the US.  The news over in Costa Rica and Chili was more family oriented and comedic for the children to watch, thus making even watching the news a joy. Katy said it was a way for those countries to “keep the moral up” rather then reporting “sadder” news. She laughed again and described how the media really didn’t report on celebrities like here in the US, like ET News, talking about the most recent information regarding Miley Cyrus. I personally believe that reporting news that is just “feel good” stories could lead to blinding a community and culture then reporting news that is more “sad” or “serious.” So I found this bit of information rather interesting and conflicting for me. Yes, we like knowing how Brad and Angelina’s wedding was, and yes we dwell on our celebrities far to much, but just reporting stories that are about a fireman saving a cat for that day, is kind of not doing the people/community justice to actually what’s going on in the news.

Understanding the difference between the Spanish language and the English language was another question I wanted to better understand, so I asked Katy and she gladly shared some light on the matter by yelling out, “Structure!” She informed me that the Spanish language is an extremely romantic language. Katy went further to talk about how almost every verb in the Spanish language has distinct verbs that are paired with different types of nouns, She talked about the singular and plural ones. She said our language isn’t as romantic. Katy talked about how the English rules are and can easily be broken and are not really followed, thus creating it almost harder for someone to learn and more irregular as a language.

My final question to my little sister was in regards to the simple day-to-day life in the past vs. today between the countries. Katy responded by saying; “Well Joe, I didn’t live there in the past, so I really can’t answer that. But the main difference there vs. here is that theirs is not as fast past. You wake up have breakfast and have a real convo with your parents. School, relaxed, kids didn’t really show up on time and showed up within the first half hour of class, so class “started at 9:00am and ended around 1:00pm. Now you compare that to here in the US. We all know that would never fly in class.”

Katy had a huge culture shock all the way through and these trips have helped her to not just love the Spanish culture more, but find more appreciation and understanding of not just the language, but a culture and a way of living. I believe that she walked away more mature and even wiser to now be able to go around talking about her experience to kids and other adults who want to better understand another culture. Katy benefited from both Chili and Costa Rica and she wasn’t the only one who benefited. She left behind an impact and a footprint in both these countries individuals who were apart of her life during her time there. Everyone Benefited.

 

 

Final Paper: Culture

Joe Valentin

Instructor: Lejla Tricic

October 6th , 2014

Communication 360

 

 

 

 

 

References:

 

Blanchette, A. (2009) Life lessons in Costa Rica’s rainforest classroom; Eight Mound-Westonka High students are back from 10 days studying ants and learning much about another culture. Star Tribune. (Minneaplois, MN).

 

De Mente, B.L. (1999, August).  Politeness makes perfect. Asian Business Strategy and Street Intelligence Ezine. Retrieved fromhttp://www.apmforum.com/columns/boye29.htm

 

Georgas, J. (2003, January 1). FAMILY: VARIATIONS AND CHANGES ACROSS CULTURES. Retrieved October 5, 2014, from http://www.wwu.edu/culture/georgea.htm

 

Griffin, L.J., & McFarland, K. (2007, Winter). In my heart, I’m an American: Regional attitudes and American identity. Southern Cultures, 13(4), 119-139.

 

Jandt, F.E. (2013).  An Introduction to Intercultural Communication: Identities in a Global Community. 7th ed. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE.

Picture: http://thestarwarsculture.blogspot.com/