Grace A. Johnson's Blog: Of Blades & Thorns
May 6, 2025
why don't we write love as a choice? | guest post by kellyn roth
April 26, 2025
a new wave of literature
April 10, 2025
interview with shira rodriguez
March 19, 2025
what we missed in proverbs 31
March 10, 2025
lucy, meg, anne, & the everygirl
March 4, 2025
grace & gratitude | winter 2025
The calendar says winter, but the south says spring. The days are now a confusing combination of chilly and warm, and the sun starts to rise nearer seven than eight. The grass is greening and purple fairy horns are dotting the fields like Dollar Generals dot our county on Google Maps. The apple and crab-apple trees are blooming pink and white, the blueberry bushes following suit.
No matter the bitter cold, the decay and death, the devastation left behind…spring still comes. The sun still rises and sets and ushers in a new season of life that persists despite—and perhaps even because of—every setback that befalls it.
As Ian Malcolm said in Jurassic Park, “Life finds a way.”
And that’s ultimately what spring signifies, that life finds a way, that the way of life itself leads through valleys and winters and deaths and into glorious resurrection and rebirth. That life without death isn’t life at all, and that spring without winter isn’t spring at all.
For us in South Georgia, our truest winter is most years in January, with fall restricted to November and December, and by the time February reaches its end, spring has sprung. So even though some of the world is still snowed in, I’m moving forward into the next year. And to be honest, it was a bleak winter, and I’m ready to embrace spring.
January was off to a good start when we—all nine in our house—suddenly caught a nasty virus. By nasty, I mean we were all sprawled out in the living room, barely eating or sleeping or anything else, for a week. Once we recovered and started getting back into the groove (which included picking up routines from before the holidays), January was almost over. Then a record-breaking (for our area) snowstorm kept us inside for a week. Then came February.
Unlike most folks, I wanted January to last longer. The first month of the year had slipped past my fingers, and I felt robbed. And February wasn’t much different; somehow, it’s already over.
But once again, in the midst of the craziness and feverous haze, there was grace. I’ll get to that in a minute.
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins,
and blot out all my iniquities.
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.
Psalm 51:7-12 ESV
spending new year’s day with other Grace
fits & pieces I love
genuinely good stories/books (see below)
snow—from its first flurries to the heavy blanket
delicious meals & new dishes (orzo is my new bestie)
working with Caitlin Miller & reigniting my love for an old project
the love I felt on valentine’s day (from my coworkers; still no beau in sight )
strawberry dark chocolate cupcakes
God (this is a given, but nonetheless relevant)
One thing I did after failing my yearly reading challenge the last three years is finally set an achievable goal: 12 books in a year, aka, 1 book a month. Naturally, this would be the year where I read 6 books in a month.
Truly, the highlight of the winter was my reading. I finished The Chronicles of Narnia—Prince Caspian, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, The Silver Chair, and The Last Battle—read the final two installments in Roseanna M. White’s The Imposters series, tackled Sense and Sensibility (quickest Austen read yet, I’d wager), and finally read The Lacemaker by Laura Frantz and Adorning the Dark by Andrew Peterson.
Y’all. Adorning the Dark far exceeded my expectations (which were already high). It’s worth all the hype and a thousand times more. Such a good, enriching book for all kinds of creative folks (which, Peterson would say, we all are).
I did manage to accomplish a few other tasks in amongst work and sickness and reading: some behind-the-scenes prep for the press launch, got Her Heart’s Home professionally edited by the absolutely amazing Caitlin Miller, and put out some real* blog posts* for the first time in many months.
*By real, I mean I actually spent time writing something (hopefully) beneficial instead of just listing goals and interviewing people. Not that those aren’t still good posts; they’re just not very meaty, so to speak.
*The posts in question would be my latest two: opposites attract: how to do it right (because I’m pretentious enough to claim my way is right) and how to grow spiritually in 2025.
Was it the beginning I’d wanted or expected for 2025? Not really. But it was still good, and I don’t feel too overwhelmed by my backed-up to-do lists (yet).
There’s two main things on the list for March: launch the press and edit a book for a client. Once those two are out of the way, the rest of spring (i.e., April-May) will be concentrated on editing/prepping two of the press’ manuscripts and maybe (very much a maybe) writing a devotional in time for graduation season (that’s a maybe-means-no maybe, I feel).
I’d also like to stick to that book-a-month schedule, and if that morphs into 2-3-6 books a month, yay! You won’t hear me complaining.
And, of course, Lent and Easter are a central part of spring, so there will be festivities/gatherings and Bible studies and all that fun stuff woven into this season. Not gonna lie, I think Lent’s why I’ve been looking forward to spring so much. I’m so ready, so excited for it this year.
#graceandgratitude #spring #winter #playlist #scripture #scriptureofthemonth #verseofthemonth #goals #gratitude #progress #monthlyupdate #monthlygoals #writingprogress #writingupdate #progressreport
February 28, 2025
how to grow spiritually in 2025
With every new year comes a new chance to grow in your walk with God. If that was one of your goals or resolutions this new year, you’ve come to the right place.
It sounds simple, but spiritual growth isn’t really a tangible thing you can track or manipulate—so when rubber meets the road, it can be a hard process, even just to start. So I thought I’d share my top six ways to jumpstart spiritual growth in any stage of the Christian life, as well as a few additional ways to grow and change as the year goes on.
Keep in mind that the key to spiritual growth isn’t a habit or discipline. The key is a moldable heart, a heart that’s open to God’s work and diligently seeking Him. If you’re halfhearted about God in any way, you’re not going to see growth. It’s only when you’re fully surrendered to Him and the work of His Spirit that you can see and experience change. That is when those strong, healthy habits and spiritual disciplines really work.
We all know it. We’ve all heard it, from the nursery to the sanctuary. Read your Bible.
If you’re not reading your Bible, don’t despair. All you have to do is start. Pick a book that interests you, or start in the Gospels (many folks recommend the Gospel of John first), or begin in the beginning, if you’re feeling tough. Especially when the first of the year rolls around, it can be all too easy to bite off more than you can chew—like with a Bible in a year plan. But if you start with something too heavy, like reading multiple chapters in a day or beginning in Leviticus, then before long, you’ll find yourself reading less and less and eventually nothing at all.
The trick is to start small and build up to more. Read one verse a day. Read a Psalm or a chapter of Proverbs a day. Read something simple and fun, like Esther and Ruth and Jonah or Matthew and Mark and Luke.
What matters is that you read consistently. That may look like one verse in the morning or before bed, or a few chapters once every couple of days that you can meditate on throughout the week. You may not be able to read the Bible in a year (I still haven’t), but if you can take it one step at a time, however large or small the step, then eventually you’ll have read the whole Bible in your own time.
If you already have a consistent reading schedule, this may be the year to take it up a notch.
So if you’ve been steady with reading your verse or chapter or chunk of chapters each day, try reading a little bit more. Include a Psalm with your current reading plan. Read two chapters instead of one (you can break it up over the day). Read a Proverb a day. Or mix up your schedule and read at a different time—for example, I read a chapter before bed every day for a few years, then in 2023, I started reading a chapter first thing in the morning in addition.
As good as reading the Bible is, just reading it is not the end goal. Getting into the Word = getting the Word into you.
It can be all too easy to make the mistake of just reading for the sake of reading—or worse, skim reading. I think we’ve all been in that place before. The solution? Ask God to give you the desire to read His Word. I did, and it worked. Now I want to the read Bible, and to read more, and to learn more, and to understand it better. And if you don’t have understanding and none of what you read makes sense, ask for that too (James 1:5)!
It also helps to get a study Bible (like this one) with notes that explain the text and encourage you to dig deeper as you read. You can also make use of your Bible’s many other resources, like articles, maps, concordance, and in-page cross references (usually located at the top of the page, off to the side) to discover more from the Bible.
Utilizing study guides, commentaries, supplementary materials (like this book that brings Psalm 23 to life, and this one that guides you in better reading and understanding the Psalms) from authors you trust can also enrich your Bible reading.
Ultimately, just expect to gain something each time you read your Bible. Pray before you get started. Open your heart to receive from God, and let His Holy Spirit minister to you as you read.
All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.
2 Timothy 3:16-17
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.
Colossians 3:16
Something else we get told about a lot without ever being instructed in is prayer. Daily prayer is the cornerstone of our relationship with God. After all, it’s how we communicate with Him. How can we presume to be in a relationship with someone if we don’t ever actually talk to them?
Like Bible reading, the trick to prayer is to start simple. Just tell God good morning when you wake up, or let Him know how your day went before you go to bed. Pray for safety as you drive to work, or thanks when you sit down to eat. And when you offer to pray for someone, even just in the comments on a social media post, stop right there and pray. Short, sweet, simple.
But don’t stop there. Once you get into the habit of prayer, find ways to go deeper. Ask God questions. Listen for answers. Pray scriptures. Go somewhere quiet and pray for as long as you can. Make a list of prayer requests throughout the day or the week, then take time to bring them before God.
The important part is that prayer is real. Real talk. Real conversations. Reciting prayers is so, so good—but it’s not the only way to pray. Alongside the Lord’s prayer or the same bless-this-food prayer, have some actual one-on-one communication with God.
If you’re not sure how to get beyond the same old prayers, you can always pray and ask God to help you (and kill two birds with one stone), or take a look at some of the most personal prayers in Scripture: the Psalms. Observe how David, Asaph, and the sons of Korah pray—without pretense, just pouring their hearts out in anguish or praise to God. Or simply take note from Jesus Himself in Matthew 6:5-13. His prayer, the Lord’s Prayer, serves as not only the best rote prayer but also as a model for our own prayers.
It begins with praise to God, then recognizing the true purpose of prayer (to align our hearts with God’s will). Next, requests, keeping in mind that God knows what we need before we ask (verse 8). Then asking for forgiveness, confessing our sins if need be, and asking for His protection and deliverance. Finally, the KJV includes a hymn of praise: “for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever”. Although there’s debate on whether this closing statement should be included in the Lord’s Prayer—since its origins are dubious—I personally believe a doxological ending to your prayers can’t hurt.
There are multiple ways to use the Lord’s Prayer as a template for your prayers—from the six Ps to the five components to simply taking it line by line. Regardless of what specific formula you use, a good prayer (although there are no bad prayers…except for maybe this one) praises God, thanks God, petitions God, and seeks God’s will.
The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:5b-7
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
1 Peter 4:10 says that each of us has been given a gift. Some of those gifts are spiritual gifts, like those Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 12, or calling of prophet, pastor, teacher, etc. in Ephesians 4. Other gifts are physical—either skills, passions, or natural-born talents that can be used to benefit others.
If you don’t know what your gift, spiritual or physical, is, take some time to figure it out. What comes easy for you (i.e., public speaking, teaching, childcare)? What kind of skills or abilities do you have (i.e., playing an instrument, singing, writing, tech)?
Once you know what your gift is, find a way to use it. And honestly, even if you still aren’t absolutely certain what your gift is, find a way to be used. Your time, money, or simple willingness to serve is itself a gift. So look for needs in your community, your church, your campus or workplace or home, and meet them.
Even if you can’t raise your hand and offer to start up a whole new ministry, you can get involved in a variety of small but important ways.
Join a group of ladies who organize baby/bridal showers.
Get on the nursery rotation.
Lead kids to and from their classes during VBS.
Cook food for shut-ins, families who’ve lost loved ones, or those in recovery from surgery, sickness, and labor.
Write encouraging cards and notes to folks in the nursing home, or people you’ve missed seeing in church for whatever reason, or soldiers overseas.
Clean up after an event.
Bring coffee and donuts to Sunday School.
Offer to fill-in for teachers or tech (clicking on projector slides is easy, guys).
Look into ministries your church heads up or supports (e.g., food banks, women’s centers, children’s centers, homeless shelters, soup kitchens, etc.) and see if they need volunteers (they probably do).
Donate to a local missionary.
Do an Angel tree, tot drive, Operation Christmas Child, or pack backpacks for back-to-school.
Pack bags or donate items for children in foster care
In the end, what matters is that you know how you can serve, you ask the Lord for opportunities to serve, and you offer your services to whomever needs them. Getting involved with your church and its ministries is the best place to start, but the options are endless. (My list kept getting longer and longer.)
As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.
1 Peter 4:10
On the opposite side of the same coin as getting involved, get connected. If you’re like me, you’ve probably heard dozens of sermons about how you need to be in church every Sunday or you will burn or you’re not a Christian or [insert horrendous untruth here]. Going to church every single time the doors are open is not going to make or break your relationship with God. So if you’re struggling to find/attend a church consistently, don’t feel guilty. We all go through seasons of searching for a church, being out of church, or even wrestling with church—whether because of illness, trauma, hurt, moving, or whatever reason.
However, church still has its place. I’ll be the very first person to tell you that our modern institution of the church building/organization is extremely flawed and in no way does it resemble the early church. But forsaking it entirely isn’t going to fix it. We as individuals, as The Church, need to change before we can expect our institutions to be changed.
Church in its essence (that’s the good part we want to preserve) is connection with other believers. Fellowship. Edification. Mutual sharing. Discipleship. Communion (with each other and God through the Eucharist).
And the truth is that you can do that anywhere. At work, in a home, in the community, in a park, in the grocery store, etc. That verse pastors love to whip out when attendance is getting low, Hebrews 10:25, doesn’t translate to “be in church every week or you’re a bad Christian.” It means “don’t let anything get in the way of you being an active member of the Body of Christ.” And sometimes, fear (likely of death) might get in the way, as was no doubt the case in the context of this verse. And sometimes, the church building itself might be what’s coming between you and the community of God.
The only requirement for church is that you can’t be alone. You can worship and commune with God and learn and grow alone (hence quiet time, prayer closets, etc.), but you can’t have church or be the church on your own. You can’t fellowship by yourself. You can’t corporate worship by yourself. You can’t share or disciple or teach or be taught by yourself.
You’ve got to get somewhere where there’s other Christians. You’ve got to surround yourself with like-minded believers who can edify you and whom you can edify. You’ve got to have community to be enriched, to love and be loved, to learn kindness and gentleness, to practice patience and peacemaking, to serve.
What makes Christianity, and especially the early church, so unique and unearthly is that it cannot exist outside of community. Communion + unity. Unified fellowship. It’s an absolute necessity for a thriving Christian, for the Gospel to be exemplified and shared. Christ 100% could have ministered all by Himself (He’s God and doesn’t need people slowing Him down and asking a million dumb questions), but He chose not to. Every decision and move He made, especially those which were recorded in the Gospels, was to be an example to us, 2,000 years later, of how to live.
And He started with community.
So find some Christians. Some who are wiser than you. Some who are struggling. Some who can teach. Some who can prophesy. Some who can lead. Some who can work behind the scenes. Some who are just like you. Some who are a little bit different.
Those Christians may be in the same local body as you, or they may be at a different church, or they may be halfway across the globe. Just find them. Build relationships with them. Serve them and serve with them.
If you’re already involved with a good local body, this doesn’t require any extra steps. Simply set aside 10% of your income and when you see that offering plate, either on a table or being passed around, drop it in.
More and more today, tithing has become a point of contention. We’ve seen money destroy whole churches and individual faith as corrupt pastors use the pulpit as a get-rich-quick scheme, careless of whose lives and beliefs they ruin. But this is nothing new. Greed has been trying to wreck the church for centuries.
But does that mean removing finances from the church or money from our relationship with God is the solution?
Nope.
We’re in danger of developing a financial purity culture. Just like some folks refuse to talk about sex, marriage, lust, etc., lest sin creep in, a lot of Christians/churches nowadays refuse to talk about money, generosity, tithing, and finances lest greedy scams sprout up and distort the Gospel.
Unfortunately, that’s just going to create more spiritual financial illiteracy, harden people’s hearts, do God an injustice, and eventually lead to the next generation of Christians being easily susceptible to the same scams we’re trying to avoid.
The truth is, God is involved in our finances, as He’s involved in absolutely everything, and He wants to be invited into our finances.
I can’t say claiming freedom over unpaid bills is going to miraculously make them disappear (that would be nice, though), but I can say “give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you” (Luke 6:38).
This may be an oldie brought back, but I’ve seen an increasing number of people deny tithing as an Old Testament practice. (I’ve also seen people deny the Trinity. Just because you can say whatever on the internet doesn’t mean you should. When they said “everyone is a theologian,” they didn’t mean “everyone can share their own theology as gospel.”)
And maybe it is an Old Testament thing. But Jesus was known for taking OT laws to the next level. My pastor isn’t going to pass the offering plate around each week, but he will tell you that Jesus loved to say “You have heard it said…but I say to you.” Just like Christ wanted His followers to go the extra mile (literally), turn the other cheek, consider lust as adultery and hatred as murder, He wanted to see us serve better, give more, and humble ourselves. Don’t just give what’s required; give all that you have (Mark 12:41-44). Don’t just give alms; wash feet. Humble yourself and serve others as if they were above you, as if they were God Himself (Matt. 25:40; cf. Col. 3:23-24).
Whether you believe tithing is necessary or a commandment or not, try it. You might like it. And if you feel like going that extra mile, or you’re not making a consistent income yet, or you’re not at a church you feel comfortable tithing to (been there), then give an offering. An offering is simply that—a monetary gift of any amount that comes from the goodness of your heart. When your church is taking up a love offering for a missionary or ministry, give what you’ve got in your wallet that day. Or when you hear someone speak or share their testimony, or when you notice someone struggling, or when a friend is going on a mission trip.
Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.
2 Corinthians 9:7
Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce; then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine.
Proverbs 3:9-10
Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need.
Malachi 3:10
Lent’s on the horizon, folks! It’s the perfect time to start incorporating fasting into your repertoire of spiritual disciplines.
If you’ve never fasted before, it can seem scary and overwhelming. Especially in the context of fasting from food entirely. I’m not going to blindly advocate starving yourself for spiritual reasons, because that’s a very personal decision to make. But fasting can take many forms. Although the traditional method is to give up food (or specific kinds of food, i.e., the Daniel fast) and pray, you can give up anything and replace it with more prayer and time with God. Whether it’s something natural and necessary, like food, or an addiction or sin (this could range from screen time and sodas to consuming ungodly/unhealthy media and gossiping) that’s standing in the way of your spiritual growth—try a few days without it.
Ultimately, everything I’ve mentioned in this post hinges on fasting. You can’t expect to grow spiritually if you’re still bound by sin and addiction, or if your relationship with God has grown cold and stale. Before you try to take on a new Bible reading plan or volunteer in children’s church, take some time to reflect on your relationship with God. To pray and seek Him first. To give up the things that hold you back.
If it’s your first time fasting, start simple. Give up coffees on Mondays. Turn off the radio on your ride to work or school and pray instead. Wake up ten minutes earlier so you can read your Bible or do a devotional. Cut back on screen time and listen to worship music instead.
If you’ve fasted before, go a step further. Cut out something different. Fast for a longer period of time. Add something new (e.g., prayer/gratitude journaling, scripture meditation, another chapter of scripture, 20 more minutes of quiet time) to your routine. Use this as a time to really evaluate yourself and change up your rhythms and surrender things to God.
Fasting doesn’t have to be weird or complicated. It just has to come from the heart. The way I see it, fasting is inconvenience yourself to commune with God. Whatever that looks like for you, go for it.
“Yet even now,” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments.” Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster.
Joel 2:12-13
go on prayer walks
Or prayer drives if the weather/your area doesn’t allow for walks.
incorporate worship music into your day
If you need recs, lemme know in the comments!
start a good devotional
I highly, highly recommend My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers (the original version, not the updated ones)
journal your thoughts on scripture or prayers
read a theological, expository, or spiritual growth book
Not self-help. But something like Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot, The Lord of Psalm 23 by David Gibson, Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis, etc. Simple and entertaining, but also enriching and thought-provoking.
#growth #spirituality #bible #scripture #prayer #fasting #lent #spiritial #encouragement #inspiration #faith #christianity #christianliving #god #godsword #encouragement #quiettime
February 13, 2025
opposites attract: how to do it right
We’ve all heard the saying “opposites attract.” There is nothing more classic nor a standard more upheld than that individuals with contrasting personalities and preferences—even values and lifestyles—are drawn to one another because of those differences. The jock gets the nerd. The adventurous daredevil ends up with a cautious homebody. The outgoing guy goes for the shy girl. The rich city girl falls for the poor farm boy.
See what I mean? This fictional trope and real-life stereotype just seems right.
But why? What role does polarity play in attraction, romance, and ultimately love—and how does one seamlessly incorporate it into a story?
I’m glad you asked. (You didn’t, but let’s pretend you did.) In honor of Valentine’s Day, I’ve teamed up with several other bloggers to discuss some of romance’s top tropes, what we love about them, and how to pull them off. In 2023, I tackled enemies-to-lovers, the unceasingly controversial but equally beloved trope that has had me in a chokehold for years. This year, we’re talking about opposites attract—the classic, maybe even cliché, concept that serves as the foundation for several tropes and countless romances both real and fictional.
Although I can’t speak for how polar opposites play out in real-life relationships, I have Thoughts™ on the fictional version. As simple and straightforward as the trope seems, it’s all too easy to veer off track and end up with a train wreck of a romance.
Relationships between opposites can quickly fall into the category of under-baked or downright raw—that is, poorly developed or even toxic, depending on how the trope is handled.
If the opposites are too different, the couple may seem like they’re perpetually on the verge of divorce, or one character may be forced to change who they are fundamentally to coexist with the other, or there may be a precarious power imbalance.
If the relationship moves too fast, your readers may be left wondering how the characters even came to love each other and why, especially if they disliked one another to begin with.
Or, worst case scenario, the hero and heroine may be so different or undeveloped that they run the risk of becoming hero and villain.
So where’s the line?
So Gerald O’Hara tells his daughter Scarlett in Gone with the Wind: “Like must marry like or there’ll be no happiness.” Scarlett proves the efficacy of his statement throughout the novel, when her first two marriages to men vastly different than her come to a bitter end, while her marriage to Rhett, though fraught with grief and loss, brings her more happiness than she had with her first husbands or that she might’ve had with Ashley.
Although Scarlett and Rhett are continually at odds and first appear to be vastly different—he the carefree, roguish rambler; she the impetuous, ambitious Southern belle—at their core, they’re the same. Both are fiercely independent, disregarding societal norms and making their own way on their own terms. Both are resilient, strong-willed, manipulative, and as Rhett says in the film, “Bad lots, both of us. Selfish and shrewd. But able to look things in the eyes as we call them by their right names.”
Scarlett and Rhett are certainly not the best example, or an example whatsoever, of a good, healthy relationship. But what they do exemplify very well is how much the core identity and values of a person are what matters most. Ultimately, relationships fail or succeed based on qualities far deeper than just personality. Being shy or outgoing, or sporty or nerdy, or reserved or exuberant, shouldn’t make or break your relationship. However, having different life goals or beliefs can be the line in the sand. Opposites may attract, but in the end, like marries like.
If your characters’ relationship is based solely on those surface traits, like personality or career or hobbies or interests, readers will pick up on that. The romance will feel one-dimensional and flat, rather than deep and developed.
The solution isn’t to make your characters 100% alike—that would be weird. It isn’t even to emphasize their similarities over their differences—that would pretty much do away with the whole “opposites attract” thing, rendering the trope and this entire post null and void.
The trick is simply to have those similarities. When developing your characters and their relationship, don’t just stop at their appearances, careers, personalities, and interests. Dig deep into who they are apart from what they do, the hills they would die on, the standards and values they hold to, their past experiences (*cough* traumatic backstories cough), their beliefs, their weaknesses, their long-term goals and dreams, their fears, what they desire in a relationship/spouse. The list goes on and on.
Then compare the two characters. Will they last in a long-term relationship, in a marriage, through parenthood? Will they weather the storm? Do they build each other up and benefit one another? Do even their differences have a positive impact on each other?
If the answer is yes, you’ve got it. You’ve got characters who are vastly different but can unite in a relationship. Characters who are opposites, bringing totally different perspectives and backgrounds to the table, that can find common ground.
Now, this is not always the case. Not every pair of opposites are enemies (in fact, they may be the best of friends), and certainly not every set of enemies are opposites. But a lot of times, those polarizing differences not only put your hero and heroine on opposing sides. And the ensuing conflict can be positively delicious.
But it can also burn your romance to the ground if you don’t play your cards right.
Just like in any enemies-to-lovers relationship, if you jump the gun and have your nemeses or archrivals shift from I-hate-you to I-love-you within a chapter or two, it’s going to feel rushed and forced, or at worse, as my friend Karynn put it, give the reader whiplash.
Whether your pair of opposites are rivals at work or school or they’re on opposing sides in a war, it’s wholly unrealistic for them to overcome their initial feelings of hate, rivalry, or plain ol’ dislike within a moment’s notice and be ready for a romantic relationship. It requires sloooooooow burn. Even if your characters are attracted to each other at first, despite their differences, it takes time to develop a romance.
To avoid whiplash (and subsequent court orders), take it slow. Build up to that climatic moment when enmity becomes alliance, alliance becomes friendship, friendship becomes love. Piece by piece, tear down the characters’ walls until they can see each other for who they truly are—someone dependable because they’re a stick-in-the-mud, someone strong because of their softness, someone humble even though they seem like a know-it-all, someone responsible even though they seem careless.
At some point, there needs to be a moment of realization and change when all the little things about the other person that used to annoy them become all the little details they love about them. Every moment before then should lead up to this, creating a strong, well-enforced relationship one brick at a time.
And just because they’re friends or lovers now doesn’t mean their differences need to go away…rather, those differences are simply seen in a new light. They can use their strengths to build each other up now instead of tearing one another down. Their weaknesses and needs can be met in the other. Their different quirks and interests and personalities can be seen as endearments.
When you think of opposites, what usually comes to mind are fire and ice, yin and yang, day and night, black cat and golden retriever, land and sea, sun and moon. As iconic as those examples are, in actuality, if you put fire and ice together, the ice would melt. If you put a cat and dog together, somebody’s getting hurt. If you put land and sea together, one or the other will erode away. If you put the sun and the moon in the same sky, the sun outshines the moon.
Not just because the moon is small, but because the moon doesn’t actually produce any of its own light. Rather, it reflects the light of the sun. The sun and moon have to be separated for the moon to shine and be of use to us.
A risk you run into with opposites attract is putting the sun and the moon in the same sky, relegating one character to a position of power and the other to being a grey blip with no light of its own. Either the moon must change its nature to compete, or the sun dim its rays—otherwise, the sun will destroy the moon.
If one or both of your characters would have to change their core identity to make the relationship work, then you need to reevaluate who they are or if they even belong together. If one character will dominate the other or leave a negative impact on them, then you need to reconsider what makes them opposites and how you can use those traits in a positive way.
My friend Naia put it well. Opposites attract isn’t about cat fights, it’s about the “I'll be strong where you are weak, you are strong where I fall apart" aspect of love. It’s about making up for where the other lacks, balancing each other out, and making each other better.
Rather than having a sun and moon, have the moon and stars. Still entirely different, from their makeup to their source of light, but they work together to illuminate the night sky. And despite their differences, they are inseparable.
In Naia’s words, “I think also, people might be drawn to the idea that someone who's opposite from them could be an intimate part of their life because it's a forced enrichment of it. Their strengths are literally everything you hate about yourself, and so you feel like maybe their virtues could rub off on you. And it's powerful to think of someone choosing you who's different from you—maybe that might mean that there's value in your own traits and personality as well.”
Emphasize not just your characters’ differences but also the value of those differences. How they fill each other’s empty spaces. How they’re not forced to change to be compatible, but how love simply softens their rougher edges and brings out the goodness within.
Build a quick profile of your hero and heroine and their relationship. Start with the basics:
name & age
ethnicity & nationality
religion
family, past experiences, & background
education & financial status
career (if any)
physical appearance
Next, dig a little deeper:
personality
quirks
strengths
weaknesses
beliefs & values
requirements/desires in a romantic partner
long-term/life goals
fears
dreams
Now, ask yourself:
How do the hero and heroine meet?
Why are they opposites, and how do those differences affect their relationship?
How are they similar, and how do those similarities affect their relationship?
What’s their first impression of each other?
How do their strengths and weaknesses compliment each other?
How can they build one another up?
If they dislike each other at first, what causes the change?
If they like each other at first, what is it that sparks the attraction or admiration?
Establishing these things before you flesh out their romance is going to guide you in the right direction and help you stay on that track, so you can do opposites attract right.
Check out the rest of the posts in our Love Week collab, full of thoughts and advice on classic romance tropes!
Mon, February 10 - Marriage of convenience - L.E. Morgan
Tue, February 11 - Best friends-to-lovers - R.M. Archer
Wed, February 12 - Childhood sweethearts - M.C. Kennedy
Thu, February 13 - Opposites attract - Grace Johnson
Fri, February 14 - Fake dating - Nicki Chapelway
Sat, February 15 - Forbidden love - Kellyn Roth
PS: If you're currently writing an opposites attract romance and need some extra help on pulling it off, drop your questions and concerns below!
#romance #romancewriting #tropes #romancetropes #writing #writingtips #writingadvice #oppositesattract #collab #love #loveweek #valentinesday #tropes
January 30, 2025
2024 in books
I didn’t think my inner child needed healing, as they say, but my year in books says otherwise. 2024 was not a good reading year—in the end, I read a grand total of 23 whole books. (For context, I read 153 in 2021 and Lord only knows how many in years before.) But out of those 23 books, over half of them were children’s classics.
As a child, I read abridged versions of the classics. Abridged Little Women, abridged Jane Eyre, etc. And if it wasn’t abridged, as was the case with Heidi and Pollyanna, you better believed I skimmed the heck out of it. Suffice to say, I didn’t have a taste for the classics. I would’ve much rather been reading the mysteries and apocalyptic thrillers I found at the library.
But this year, I decided to do what I didn’t as a kid: I read the real classics.
I finally picked up an unabridged copy of Anne of Green Gables, which I’d loved when I was younger but never read the actual version of, and let me tell you. It was phenomenal. Naturally, abridged books are a disservice—but especially to Anne of Green Gables. The story was familiar and yet oh, so new and wonderful, and I can’t believe why I never read the real thing until now.
I also really read Heidi for the first time. Instead of skipping over the boring parts, I took my time and soaked in the whole story—which moved me to tears a couple of times. Even though these stories were written with children in mind, they’re for adults. They’re for people who need to recapture the beauty of childhood, of life, of faith. They’re for folks who need restoration and the gentle reminder of what really matters.
I also read some classics that most folks grew up reading (maybe not as seven-year-olds, but as middle- and high-schoolers), but I never read. The Hunger Games and The Hobbit. Could I have read The Hobbit as a kid? Definitely not without a great deal of skimming. But now that I’m considerably older (and allowed myself several months to tackle this tale), I finally gave it a try. And after we’d watched The Hunger Games movies as a family in 2023, I had to give the books a shot.
These modern classics were never on my radar when I was growing up, but I’m so glad I finally had the chance to read them.
I also cracked open my uncle’s old copy of The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, in honor of the film release this past Christmas. This book definitely isn’t up there with The Hobbit in terms of popularity or cult following, but it’s a tear-jerker and a classic worth rereading.
It’s not a celebration of one’s childhood without rereading old favorites—like my first-ever Nancy Drew book, The Hidden Staircase. This classic children’s mystery was what sparked my love of Nancy Drew as a five- or six-year-old, and it was even better the next time around.
I closed the year out some of the greatest childhood classics of all time: The Magician’s Nephew, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, and The Horse and His Boy.
Let’s face it. The Chronicles of Narnia is the GOAT. I barely remember reading these books when I was younger (The Silver Chair is the only one that’s stayed with me), so I knew I was overdue for a reread. I read through three out of seven books in December, and I’m currently finishing the series. Y’all, these books are pure comfort and wonder. I can’t believe I haven’t come back to them sooner. Like Anne of Green Gables and Heidi made me fall more in love with life, Narnia has made me fall more in love with God.
And I’m just gonna say it…The Magician’s Nephew is extremely underrated. It’s the stinkin’ creation of Narnia, and it gets like zilch love and recognition. It deserves better.
On the more grown-up side of things, I also read Emma (which took me about as long to read as The Hobbit), The Lord of Psalm 23 by David Gibson, In Her Sights by Karen Witemeyer, The Elusive Truth of Lily Temple by Joanna Davidson Politano, Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot (must read!), Lady at Arms and Baron of Godsmere by Tamara Leigh, and A Moonbow Night by Laura Frantz (also a reread).
#books #reading #readinghighlights #bookishness #readsof2024 #favoritebooks #favorites #classics #childhood #childrensbooks
January 16, 2025
grace & gratitude | 2025
I’ve already begun this post once, at year’s end. Amidst the frantic flurry of the season—family and friends, parties and functions, and burning questions like “Where did all my money go?” (toward presents and food) and “Will I skip my period this month since I’ve been so stressed lately?” (fortunately, no)—when I finally stopped to catalog the year, I couldn’t. 2024 blurred to nothingness in my mind, and 2025 loomed over me like, well, the Joker, laughing maniacally at me for failing this past year. I read over last year’s Grace & Gratitude post, and it left me feeling empty.
Where had all those bright ideas and good intentions gone? What had I done in 2024?
So I closed my computer and returned to laughing with my friends, enjoying the moment while it lasted.
And the funny thing is, that’s exactly what my resolution was for 2024.
Enjoy the moment.
Live each second like it’s the one I was made for.
Maybe I didn’t hold this in my mind every day, but when I think back on 2024 from now on, I’m not going to remember the empty feeling I had; I’m going to remember the joy I felt picking up my friend Joy from the airport, hugging her for the first time, so grateful we’d managed to find her because for a while, we couldn’t. I’m going to remember the grace of God that allowed my friend Grace to come to the-middle-of-nowhere Georgia all the way from the-middle-of-nowhere Canada. I’m going to remember the sweetness of my friend Lexi’s sweet-tea accent and sunshine smile. I’m going to remember the laughter I shared with my friend Emily as we puncehrnd eahcjoehter (typos intentional).
I’m going to remember the cool, cozy nights spent watching Rocky on our old Xbox, hooked up to our generator. I’m going to remember the goodness of folks who gave and showed up and prayed. I’m going to remember the morning spent sipping coffee out of styrofoam cups in my nana’s kitchen. I’m going to remember listening to songs on repeat in the car as we went to and from town for cold showers. I’m going to remember the splendor of the sky as the sun set behind the fields and rose outside the window at work.
As I drove home from work Friday, I didn’t see the devastation of the storm or the decay of winter anymore. I saw the roads my friends walked down and the clay they marveled over. I saw the house we laughed and talked and wrote in. I saw the ponds and trees and horizon they oohed and awed over but I’d taken for granted.
Was 2024 perfect? By no means. No year is.
Did I accomplish everything I set out to do? Not even close. I never do.
But did I grow? Did I learn? Did I change?
Yes.
Was God still good? Was God still faithful? Was God still walking alongside me and leading me down His path?
Yes, yes, yes.
And that’s all that matters.
gathering with the peasants (my online friend group) in-person
God’s protection & provision
my new job & lovely coworkers
unexpected opportunities to give, serve, & grow
the little things like my papa bringing me raspberries just because, kind customers, and fresh fruit & herbs
enjoying life through long walks, cozy fires, and driving with the window down & radio blasting
quality time with family over good food & fun movies
the beauty of worship, the Word, & communion with God
I could go over my 2024 goals as featured in last year’s post, but to be honest, that will only depress me, because I didn’t complete…any of them. Okay, technically I did fast and pray more, and I enjoyed reading and writing more than I have in recent years. But everything else? I ended up doing the exact opposite of what I wanted to do.
That’s one of the reasons why I do a “grace” section instead of checking off boxes. My checklists are almost always unfinished, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t accomplished or experienced things. Even in my failings, God is still gracious, and something always ends up getting done.
In 2024, I wrote roughly 20,700 words (give or take) across three different projects: Where the Sky Meets the Sea, The Forsaken, and Held Captive.
I finished Where the Sky Meets the Sea, a novella of over 25k words, and I added a chapter or two to The Forsaken. I’d intended to finish both projects this year, but WtSMtS morphed into a monster (I call a novella a monster when I once wrote a 200k-word book ♀). Add a new job, editing projects, and just life on top of that, and my writing time was reduced to almost nil. So it is grace that I was able to finish even just Where the Sky Meets the Sea.
And it doesn’t help that I maaaay have spent a few sessions working on Held Captive. If you’ve been following along with my HC update emails, you’ll know just how much time I spent on outlining, researching, and developing the story. I’m still only a little ways in but already so much deeper into the story than I was when I wrote it the first time.
So a few hundred words went to creating an opening scene for my magnum opus. I have to hold myself back, lest I devote my entire existence to this book. (Would that be so bad, though??)
A few other things I accomplished this past year:
created a Bible study email series
began prepping Of Storm & Sea anthology
edited 3.5 books (including A Matter of Honor by Laura Frantz)
finished designing Sky’s the Limit Press’ website & prepped the official public launch
started a secondary newsletter just for Held Captive updates
was interviewed on Shira Rodriguez’ podcast, Her Reading Life (part I & part II)
read 22 books (not including editing & beta-reading)
debuted The Story Critique & The Prose Critique
started a new job at a cafe in town
got a working vintage typewriter (arguably the best birthday present ever)
met four of my best online friends in real life & spent The Best weekend with them
Well, as it was all this past year, launching Sky’s the Limit Press + its next anthology are top of the list. All the background stuff is done; it’s down to cosmetic issues, plenishing the resource library, and promoting the launch—simple, but time-consuming, which is why I haven’t had a chance to sit down and get ’er done yet. Once I launch the press, I’ll crack down on the anthology. So if I can manage to finally accomplish that sometime in the next twelve months, I’ll be very pleased.
Additionally, I’d like to publish a couple of short projects: Where the Sky Meets the Sea as a freebie for my newsletter subscribers, and Her Heart’s Home (which I’d love to retitle) as a sort of charity project for those who have lost their homes due to Hurricane Helene. Both of these projects have been written; it’s just to rewrite and edit and format and get covers, etc.
Otherwise, if I can manage to get some words written in The Forsaken and maybe even do something for Held Captive, that would be lovely.
As far as my other endeavors…we’ll see. Of course, I want to stay consistent with blogging + my newsletter, which I’d intentionally set aside the last half of 2024 while getting settled in my job and finishing WtSMtS. And I’d like to do more with my Patreon, but everything else is tertiary.
Personal goals are also pretty simple this year. In no certain order:
don’t do anything stupid (this is very important)
get deeper into the word of God + hermeneutics and exegesis
observe more of the liturgical calendar
stay out of the cookies at work (also important)
read more classics + outside of my comfort genres (some of the books on the list are Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier, Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, Wise Blood by Flannery O’Connor, and Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky, and many others)
learn at least one new skill (either guitar, crochet, or embroidery)
be more wise in my spending + make more gifts
get involved & connected with my local church + find more ways to serve & use my gifts
I’ll admit it, I was lax this year. I didn’t even think about a scripture for 2025—not surprising, considering I don’t really think about my choices throughout the year. So when I read Psalm 65 the other day, I was like, “This is it. This is my scripture.”
There’s nothing fancy or special about it (beyond being the word of God, of course)—it just felt right. I love this whole psalm, and especially verse 11, which states: “You crown the year with your bounty; your wagon tracks overflow with abundance.”
It doesn’t get any more new-year than that, eh? But the rest of it is so good as well.
Praise is due to you, O God, in Zion,
and to you shall vows be performed.
O you who hear prayer,
to you shall all flesh come.
When iniquities prevail against me,
you atone for our transgressions.
Blessed is the one you choose and bring near,
to dwell in your courts!
We shall be satisfied with the goodness of your house,
the holiness of your temple!
By awesome deeds you answer us with righteousness,
O God of our salvation,
the hope of all the ends of the earth
and of the farthest seas;
the one who by his strength established the mountains,
being girded with might;
who stills the roaring of the seas,
the roaring of their waves,
the tumult of the peoples,
so that those who dwell at the ends of the earth are in awe at your signs.
You make the going out of the morning and the evening to shout for joy.
You visit the earth and water it;
you greatly enrich it;
the river of God is full of water;
you provide their grain,
for so you have prepared it.
You water its furrows abundantly,
settling its ridges,
softening it with showers,
and blessing its growth.
You crown the year with your bounty;
your wagon tracks overflow with abundance.
The pastures of the wilderness overflow,
the hills gird themselves with joy,
the meadows clothe themselves with flocks,
the valleys deck themselves with grain,
they shout and sing together for joy.
Psalm 65 pretty much summarizes everything I want to do this year.
#1: Praise God & find joy in His presence.
#2: Remember who God is & what He has done in the past.
#3: Recognize all that God is doing in my life & all around me.
This Psalm doesn’t reflect what I want 2025 to be about or what I think it will be like—it’s simply about who God is and always will be. It’s about the goodness and richness, the tender care, of a loving God who remains faithful through every season, every month, every year. And I think that matters more than any resolution or prediction.
There’s no sermon from me this year (at least, not in this post) and no songs; just that reminder.
Like the earth, may we experience the abundance of God this year. His blessings like rain. The grain that He provides. His atonement and righteousness. His joy in the evening and the morning, in the hills and the valleys, in the wilderness and the meadows.
#graceandgratitude #welcometo2025 #newyear #goals #updates #2025 #lifeupdate #yearlyupdate #wrapup #news #happynewyear #scriptureoftheyear #scripture #gratitude
