Constance Daley's Blog - Posts Tagged "sexual-inhibition"
The Joy of Sexual Inhibition
I'm here to tell you something a little strange and perhaps unpopular with some people, but sexual inhibition is actually a good thing. Granted, as an erotica writer, it's doubly good for me, but I believe that it is good for all people. Here's why.
To a large extent, each person's sexual journey is learning to work through their inhibitions, to explore their sexuality, and I'm hugely in favor of that. This blog post is not supposed to encourage people to remain overly inhibited. What I want people to recognize is that inhibition fulfills a very valuable role in our sex lives, and moving to a completely uninhibited society would have unforeseen consequences.
In my opinion, without inhibitions, we wouldn't have fantasies, or at least we'd have a lot fewer of them. I'm willing to guess that most people, men and women, don't fantasize about good old vanilla sex, the type most of them are having. Fantasy is our safe zone, our place to explore aspects of our sexuality that we aren't yet comfortable with, or that we might never be comfortable with. That's a good thing. Human beings need taboos, need lines they cannot cross so that they can imagine crossing them. If we lost all of our current inhibitions, we would need to create new ones to transgress. Eventually we would be left with nothing but blatantly illegal and unethical acts to fantasize about.
The second reason inhibitions are good for us is that actions have consequences where fantasies don't. There is nothing wrong with me fantasizing about pretty much anything, but making some of those fantasies real could be disastrous to myself and to my relationships. Let's take an imaginary woman in an imaginary happy marriage. She fantasizes about having sex with other men. No one is hurt by that fantasy. Were she completely uninhibited, she would just do it. I don't honestly see any way she could do that without affecting her happy marriage. Perhaps for these imaginary people it would work out just fine, but in the real world there are always repercussions to things like this. Real people have real emotions, and they will have real responses to such activity.
And of course, the reason inhibitions are good for me as an erotica writer is that they give me something to write about and you, the reader, something to read about. Simply put, many of us enjoy reading and writing about things that could never happen or things we would never do. It's why BDSM stories don't need to be written by or for people actually living that lifestyle. If you're living it, you don't need to read about it. As a writer, I am free to take the parts I like and leave the parts I don't, and as a reader you are free to do the same.
Ready for some mental experimentation now? Ever wanted to cheat on your husband while he watched? Try out one of my stories like Sliding Doors and enjoy the freedom inherent in your imagination.
Sliding Doors
To a large extent, each person's sexual journey is learning to work through their inhibitions, to explore their sexuality, and I'm hugely in favor of that. This blog post is not supposed to encourage people to remain overly inhibited. What I want people to recognize is that inhibition fulfills a very valuable role in our sex lives, and moving to a completely uninhibited society would have unforeseen consequences.
In my opinion, without inhibitions, we wouldn't have fantasies, or at least we'd have a lot fewer of them. I'm willing to guess that most people, men and women, don't fantasize about good old vanilla sex, the type most of them are having. Fantasy is our safe zone, our place to explore aspects of our sexuality that we aren't yet comfortable with, or that we might never be comfortable with. That's a good thing. Human beings need taboos, need lines they cannot cross so that they can imagine crossing them. If we lost all of our current inhibitions, we would need to create new ones to transgress. Eventually we would be left with nothing but blatantly illegal and unethical acts to fantasize about.
The second reason inhibitions are good for us is that actions have consequences where fantasies don't. There is nothing wrong with me fantasizing about pretty much anything, but making some of those fantasies real could be disastrous to myself and to my relationships. Let's take an imaginary woman in an imaginary happy marriage. She fantasizes about having sex with other men. No one is hurt by that fantasy. Were she completely uninhibited, she would just do it. I don't honestly see any way she could do that without affecting her happy marriage. Perhaps for these imaginary people it would work out just fine, but in the real world there are always repercussions to things like this. Real people have real emotions, and they will have real responses to such activity.
And of course, the reason inhibitions are good for me as an erotica writer is that they give me something to write about and you, the reader, something to read about. Simply put, many of us enjoy reading and writing about things that could never happen or things we would never do. It's why BDSM stories don't need to be written by or for people actually living that lifestyle. If you're living it, you don't need to read about it. As a writer, I am free to take the parts I like and leave the parts I don't, and as a reader you are free to do the same.
Ready for some mental experimentation now? Ever wanted to cheat on your husband while he watched? Try out one of my stories like Sliding Doors and enjoy the freedom inherent in your imagination.
Sliding Doors
