M. Wakefield's Blog
January 2, 2025
The Elsie Heinz Trauma Recovery Fund

The Elsie Heinz Trauma Recovery Fund has been established to provide life-changing coaching and support to financially compromised survivors of trauma, with a particular focus on those recovering from the effects of narcissistic abuse. Elsie’s life was a tapestry of connection, empathy, warmth and understanding for those around her. She had an uncanny ability to make people feel seen and valued. Through this fund, her legacy of kindness remains a beacon of light illuminating a path to healing for survivors in need.
Love In ActionElsie Heinz (1938–2023) was born on a homestead farm in Veregin, Saskatchewan. From a young age, she developed a profound compassion for all living things, caring for animals and her community. Elsie possessed a unique gift: she was able to bridge divides and bring people together across cultures, from the close-knit embrace of her Ukrainian and Russian Doukhobor community to the vibrant pulse of bustling cities like Hong Kong, Taipei, and Mexico City.
Elsie had a special way of making everyone feel welcome and included, whether it was her family, friends, or the wider community. She cherished her loved ones and found joy in supporting and encouraging them to realize their full potential. She believed in the power of human connection and lived her life with a spirit of hope and resilience. Her adventurous spirit and her unwavering commitment to helping others continues to be an inspiraton.
Elsie is survived by her husband, Merrill; son, Doug Heinz of San Francisco, CA, and his wife, Lisa Patterson-Heinz; brother, Len Wlasichuk of Winnipeg, MB, and his wife, Janine Wlasichuk; sister, Mildred Tolton of Sechelt, BC; grandchildren, Landon and Brennan Aquilina of Dublin, CA; as well as her beloved nieces, nephews, and many dear friends.
Empowering Survivors of Narcissistic AbuseThe Elsie Heinz Trauma Recovery Fund helps people who have experienced narcissistic abuse, especially those struggling financially due to the aggression. Narcissistic abuse can have a devastating impact on a person’s mental and emotional well-being. It can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety, difficulty forming healthy relationships, and other serious emotional challenges. This fund aims to support survivors on their path to healing.
This fund will provide survivors with specialized coaching that understands the unique challenges of recovering from narcissistic abuse. Elsie Heinz Legacy Recipients will experience a safe and supportive space where they can heal, rebuild their self-confidence, and learn to live fulfilling lives. The focus is on empowering survivors to overcome the trauma and build a brighter future with hope and awareness.
The Elsie Heinz Trauma Recovery Fund reflects her unwavering belief in the transformative power of love, kindness, and personal growth.
$15,000 Contribution to Empower SurvivorsNarcissistic Abuse Rehab is proud to announce a $15,000 contribution to the Elsie Heinz Trauma Recovery Fund for 2025. This generous commitment will provide immediate resources to help survivors in need gain access to professional coaching and learning materials, enabling them to rebuild their lives with strength and confidence.
I invite you to join in amplifying this effort and honoring Elsie’s enduring legacy. By supporting the Elsie Heinz Trauma Recovery Fund you can help honor her memory by empowering survivors to heal, grow, and create lives filled with hope and opportunity. To contribute to the Elsie Heinz Trauma Recovery Fund or learn more about how you can get involved, please send a message via our contact page.
Elsie Heinz Legacy RecipientsBelow is a list of recipients of the Elsie Heinz Trauma Recovery Fund. Please note that some survivors have chosen to remain anonymous.
2025 — Kathryn B******2025 — TBA*2025 — TBA** This slot is currently open for applications. If you are a survivor of narcissistic abuse whose financial stability has been compromised, we encourage you to apply. The Elsie Heinz Trauma Recovery Fund is dedicated to empowering survivors on their journey to healing and transformation.
To apply or nominate a candidate, please send a message requesting more information via our contact page.
[image error]The Elsie Heinz Trauma Recovery Fund was originally published in Narcissistic Abuse Rehab on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
December 15, 2024
Event: Holiday Healing Amidst Family Estrangement

The holidays can be a time of joy, but for many of people, they also represent the pain of family estrangement. Many survivors face the painful reality of spending holidays alone. This may be due to custody arrangements with a difficult co-parent or estrangement from adult children seeking to curry favor with a narcissistic parent. If this sounds like you, I invite you to join our first online event: Holiday Healing: Creating Meaningful Holidays Amidst family Estrangement.
Even after experiencing extreme trauma, healing is possible through relationship with others. This season, break the isolation and choose healing through connection. By sharing our stories, we create a space of understanding and compassion, transforming wounds into wisdom.
Recovery from family estrangement is not about forgetting the past — it’s about finding strength in the present and embracing the support of those who understand your journey. If this resonates with your experience, this event is for you.
Let’s come together and build a community rooted in empathy, strength, and hope. Holiday Healing is dedicated to providing support that’s tailored for the unique challenges that go with family estrangement.
What You Will ReceiveAll participants in the Holiday Healing event will receive the following:
Exclusive downloads to help navigate difficult emotions.A plan of action detailing a holiday plan of action.A special gift for your recovery journeyEvent InformationWhen: Friday, December 20, 2024 at 11.00 (PST) and 2.00 (EST)Where: Zoom Investment in yourself: $30N.B. Spots are limited — reserve your place today!
Holiday Healing AgendaWelcome + Warm-Up (10 minutes)Reflection: Redefining the Holidays on Your Terms (20 minutes)Discussion: Navigating Triggers (15 minutes)Crafting Your Holiday Plan (20 minutes)Mindfulness: Releasing Expectations (15 minutes)Closing + Connection (10 minutes)Meet Your HostManya Wakefield is a recovery coach specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy and coercive trauma. Her expertise has been featured in publications such as Newsweek, Elle, Cosmopolitan, and Huffington Post. In 2019, she launched the social impact platform Narcissistic Abuse Rehab, building a global audience through human rights advocacy. The same year, she published the book ‘Are You In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship,’ which is used in domestic violence recovery groups around the world. In 2020, Manya developed The Coercive Control Legislation Global Database. She is also the host of The Narcissistic Abuse Rehab Podcast, which is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and iHeart.
[image error]Event: Holiday Healing Amidst Family Estrangement was originally published in Narcissistic Abuse Rehab on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
October 3, 2024
Exploring “Framed: Women in the Family Court Underworld” with Dr.
On October 1, 2024, the new season of The Narcissistic Abuse Rehab Podcast kicked off with a deep dive into the complicity of the family…
February 11, 2024
PTSD And Depression Linked To Increased Risk Of Mortality In Women

Post-traumatic stress disorder and major depression comorbidity is linked to psychobiological changes in women that can lead to chronic disease and death. When these two conditions occur in tandem, a comprehensive approach to treatment must be taken to counteract their dangerous and complex emotional, psychological, and physical impact.
Increased Mortality In Women With PTSD and DepressionA new study shows that post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and major depressive disorder (MDD) comorbidity can lead to physiological changes that cause serious illness and mortality in women.
An estimated 50% of women with PTSD also suffer from MDD. 1 out of every 2 women with this dual diagnosis have an increased risk of mortality.
A study of over 50,000 women were was conducted over 9 years period showed that women who suffer from symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and depression have more than twice as likely to die from complications compared to women who had not experienced trauma or depression.
Furthermore, research suggests that the biological impact of PTSD and MDD comorbidity may represent a subtype of PTSD.
Adverse Childhood Experiences Linked To Inflammation In The BodyAdverse childhood experiences (ACEs) are linked to an increased risk of developing PTSD in adulthood. The psychobiology of ACEs can make some adults predisposed to inflammation in the body, putting them at greater risk for certain health conditions.
PTSD is linked to physiological changes associated with metabolic dysfunction connected with the development of various diseases, specifically:
Changes in hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal-axisImmune system dysfunctionOxidative stressSleep disturbances, andPremature aging.Researchers theorize that an increased discharge of cortisol by the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis in tandem with disruptions in the sympathetic nervous system can lead to irregularities in neurological and metabolic functioning.
Health Conditions Linked To PTSDNumerous studies have shown that PTSD is linked to a range of adverse health outcomes, including:
HypertensionCardiovascular DiseaseMetabolic SyndromeType 2 DiabetesObesitySubstance Use DisordersPTSD and Depression Increase Risk of SuicideAnother health risk for women who experience PTSD and MDD is suicide. A 2009 study from Florida State University showed that women who experience both disorders are at greater risk for suicidal ideation and death by suicide.
Prevention Of Health Risks Associated With PTSD and DepressionIt is imperative that women with PTSD and depression implement lifestyle changes to decrease the risk of mortality associated with their condition. Some effective actions include:
Regular exerciseWeight managementSmoking abstinenceCompanionshipSummary1 out of ever 2 women who suffer from cooccurring PTSD and MDD can experience psychobiological changes that cause 380% increase of death. Adverse childhood experiences can lead to inflammation in the body, which makes some people predisposed to illness and disease later in life. PTSD can cause metabolic dysfunction and systemic changes that lead to serious health conditions. Lifestyle changes are an important part of treatment.
ResourcesRoberts AL, Kubzansky LD, Chibnik LB, Rimm EB, Koenen KC. Association of Posttraumatic Stress and Depressive Symptoms With Mortality in Women . JAMA Netw Open. 2020;3(12):e2027935. doi:10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2020.27935Flory JD, Yehuda R. Comorbidity between post-traumatic stress disorder and major depressive disorder: alternative explanations and treatment considerations. Dialogues Clin Neurosci. 2015 Jun;17(2):141–50. doi: 10.31887/DCNS.2015.17.2/jflory. PMID: 26246789; PMCID: PMC4518698Masodkar K, Johnson J, Peterson MJ. A Review of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder and Obesity: Exploring the Link . Prim Care Companion CNS Disord. 2016 Jan 7;18(1):10.4088/PCC.15r01848. doi: 10.4088/PCC.15r01848. PMID: 27247845; PMCID: PMC4874765.Farr OM, Sloan DM, Keane TM, Mantzoros CS. Stress- and PTSD-associated obesity and metabolic dysfunction: a growing problem requiring further research and novel treatments. Metabolism. 2014 Dec;63(12):1463–8. doi: 10.1016/j.metabol.2014.08.009. Epub 2014 Aug 28. PMID: 25267015; PMCID: PMC4459590.Brown, P. J., Stout, R. L., & Mueller, T. (1999). Substance use disorder and posttraumatic stress disorder comorbidity: Addiction and psychiatric treatment rates. Psychology of Addictive Behaviors, 13(2), 115–122. https://doi.org/10.1037/0893-164X.13.2.115Cougle JR, Resnick H, Kilpatrick DG. PTSD, depression, and their comorbidity in relation to suicidality: cross-sectional and prospective analyses of a national probability sample of women. Depress Anxiety. 2009;26(12):1151–7. doi: 10.1002/da.20621. PMID: 19842171.Originally published at https://www.narcissisticabuserehab.com on February 18, 2023.
[image error]PTSD And Depression Linked To Increased Risk Of Mortality In Women was originally published in Narcissistic Abuse Rehab on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
A Plan For Parallel Parenting with a Narcissistic Ex

It is notoriously difficult to raise a child with a narcissistic co-parent because narcissists counter-parent, i.e. they are infamous for being unnecessarily oppositional, antagonistic, and litigious. Moreover narcissistic people tend to relish opportunities to exert post-separation abuse without any concern about the impact it has on their child. These behaviors make cooperative child rearing impossible.
For many survivors this is when a comprehensive parallel parenting plan comes into play, providing structure and minimizing conflict as much as possible. To this end, we have created The Parallel Parenting Playbook: A Plan for Navigating Co-Parenting with a Narcissistic Ex a free guide to help you traverse sharing a child with a narcissistic ex.
How Parallel Parenting Works
The purpose of a parallel parenting strategy is to reduce parental conflict. This is accomplished by minimizing direct communication and interactions between you and your ex-partner. Limiting direct communication and interaction significantly lowers the chances of disputes, creating a calmer, more stable environment for your child.
The Parallel Parenting Playbook: A Plan for Navigating Co-Parenting with a Narcissistic Ex offers detailed ways to do this successfully and bring a measure of peace to your co-parenting journey.
A Child-Centric Approach
A well-crafted parallel parenting plan puts the child’s needs and well-being front and center. It establishes clear rules of engagement and creates a more calm environment in which the child can develop free from the burden of parental conflict.
It is essential for parallel parenting plans to be rigorously unambiguous and address the most minute details of the co-parenting relationship, including health care, educational decisions and emotional support, The Parallel Parenting Playbook: A Plan for Navigating Co-Parenting with a Narcissistic Ex outlines how to make sure the child’s needs are not overshadowed by parental disputes.
A Boundary Setting Tool
The Parallel Parenting Playbook: A Plan for Navigating Co-Parenting with a Narcissistic Ex guides you through the process of establishing structured, purposeful communication. It highlights how clear, concise exchanges focused solely on the child’s welfare can stave off conflicts. The guide will help you identify where you can set boundaries with yourself and assert them in the context of parallel parenting with a narcissistic ex without locking horns.
The beauty of parallel parenting is that it can serve as an important lesson for children. It’s a blueprint for role modeling valuable life skills, including conflict resolution, respect for differences, and healthy boundary setting.
Legal Framework Integration
The steps in our parallel parenting guide can be seamlessly integrated into legal agreements to ensure compliance and provide a clear reference in case of disputes. It’s a tool to help parents and children enjoy peace of mind. Parents learn how to regain a sense of autonomy as they master the art of parallel parenting, leading to personal growth and greater confidence in the role they play in their child’s life.
One-On-One Support
People raising children with narcissistic ex-partner’s face unique challenges. Book a coaching session for one-on-one support and guidance in establishing a comprehensive parallel parenting plan. We provide a safe space where you will experience compassion, insight, and acceptance while receiving practical tools to create a healthy parenting architecture for you and your child.
Download The Parallel Parenting Playbook
Creating a comprehensive parallel parenting plan is a proactive step towards cultivating a nurturing environment for the child or children you are raising with a narcissistic person. It can reduce your exposure to their harassment, manage conflicts, and help you focus on what’s important: the best interests of your child.
Download your free copy. It’s an invaluable resource that will give you with clarity and practical ways to make harmony and stability possible for separated families.
Originally published at https://www.narcissisticabuserehab.com on January 31, 2024.
[image error]A Plan For Parallel Parenting with a Narcissistic Ex was originally published in Narcissistic Abuse Rehab on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
January 15, 2023
Emotional Ghosting: Is Your Partner Physically Present Yet Emotionally Withdrawn?
Emotional ghosting is a form of neglect where one partner emotionally disconnects from the relationship, causing confusion and pain to the…
January 8, 2023
Triangulation With Children And The Narcissist’s New Supply
IN the context of narcissistic abuse, triangulation is a manipulation tactic in which one person engineers a rivalry between two other…
January 7, 2023
4 Ways To Protect Children From Developing Personality Disorders
Many parents are concerned about how exposure to excessive or extreme narcissism will affect their children.
October 28, 2022
Return of ‘The Narcissistic Abuse Rehab Podcast’
When I visualize the upcoming season of The Narcissistic Abuse Rehab Podcast, the image I hold in my mind is a platform that serves as a…
October 21, 2022
What is a Domestic Violence Enhancer?
Domestic violence enhancer is a legal term used to describe behaviors intended to cause harm, injury, or distress to a former or current…