Kim Vermaak's Blog

 

Who do you rely on? In the last two weeks, I have had to ask myself this very question. Trust is an important part of being human, as is faith. But there are things we can not anticipate that come our way that can shake our world. My daughter’s fiance’s flight was cancelled two hours before he was due to board and I have had several of my support team fall ill. This comes after I had been ill for over two weeks, following a spell of burnout, and then my bank rejected all my incoming Amazon royalty payments because of some change in code. The list is longer than I care to mention in this message, but one could say that I have had a spell of bad luck and I was certainly feeling fragile. If we want to move forward in life, making plans and setting goals is important and misfortunate has a way of challenging the viability of those goals. While we may have to delay some of our plans, we should never be tempted to give up or give in to despair or harden our hearts towards others. In the last year, I adopted a ritual of writing my wins every morning. I make sure I write a minimum of ten wins that I had the preceding day - even if it the tinniest of wins. It is my reset time. While I can not control some of the surrounding chaos, I can control how I claim those first few moments of the day. There are days where I stare at my notebook while all the troubles of the previous day pollute my thoughts, taunting my ability to even find one win. I have taken to standing at the kitchen counter while I write down my wins, because I know that as soon as I sit at my desk; I will get distracted and won’t take the time to reset my mind. TI learned about writing my wins from the Uncovering Greatness team and it is a daily ritual that I defend because it is one of the few tools I have to reclaim my power when the odds are stacked against me. Because we know that at some point the things that we rely on may whither or perish, but nothing can claim the human spirit unless we allow it.Whatever you are going through, I pray you will find the courage to reclaim your personal power.#findingcourage #adayinthelifeofanauthor #personalpower #medievalfatasy #christianauthors

 

Have you ever been too afraid to act? Fear has a nasty way of robbing you of your dreams. This has probably been the biggest struggle of my entire life. One that I have regularly failed. Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the decision to act regardless of your fear. My progress has never been because I rush in a take on every battle. Sometimes I cowered, waiting for the danger to overtake me. However, there are sufficient times that I have mastered my fear to bring me the progress that I need. So now I am more forgiving of myself. Sometimes I will succeed and sometimes I will fail, but I know I am braver than I used to be. In this scene, Lady Christine was confronted by someone who knows who she is, but she was too afraid to step into her destiny.

What is one small step you can take today to master your fear?

#medieval #history #medievalfantasy #medievaltimes #sword  #warrior #medievalhistory #swords #fantasybook #fantasy #bookstagram #fantasybooks #booklover #books #book #fantasyworld #toughenup #christianfantasy #Christianauthors

 

Have you ever faced an impossible choice? One of those “which is the lesser of two evils” kinds of choices.  

Over the years, I have faced some tough choices. Ones I wished I never had to make. I felt the pain of my character here. The souls King Radolf was referring to were people that Nadine had a strong bond with. Only one soul… Well, that is an impossible choice/ 

What came into the play here was bigger than this one statement can reveal. Of course, I don’t want to give anything away, but I can say that most of our challenges don’t just boil down to that one choice. Rather, they are an accumulation of many small choices that we made along the way.

And when you face those impossible choices, who do you have in your corner to help you through them?

#medieval #history #medievalfantasy #medievaltimes #sword  #warrior #medievalhistory #swords #fantasybook #fantasy #bookstagram #fantasybooks #booklover #books #book #fantasyworld #toughenup #christianfantasy #Christianauthors

 Don’t you hate it when you are full of purpose and passion and then someone comes and crushes your dreams?

Over the years, I have had to learn to take feedback. As a writer, my first feedback point is my editor. I have had to mature in this relationship. Sometimes feedback can seem harsh, but then I have to ask myself what the motives are of the person giving me the feedback.

I think of all the war movies I watched when the training officer is brutal and then I ask, “Is it better to take feedback from someone who has a vested interest in your success, or get little “kindnesses” from someone who is not impacted by your success or failure?”

I know that the more soldiers who die in a battle, the weaker the army will be. So taking feedback from your trainer whose success lies in your success not only makes common sense, it is a survival tool.  

Over the years, I have had to learn to toughen up. Because my enemy wants to see me fail and my trainer wants to see me succeed. It changes what your perception of “kindness” really is.

In this scene, Nadine meets her trainer Isa, who is brutal, direct and unyielding. Yet at the core Isa knows what Nadine will be facing and she would rather that Nadine hears the truth from her than face King Radolf in the field unprepared.

Who has your back? What are their motives? Do you need to toughen up a bit?

I had several challenges this week and I have to say that I realise I have matured in my approach. I think few family members may disagree, as I was rather snappy during the week. But perhaps some context is necessary.

This week my computer died. Just died, for no apparent reason. I had one child vomit all over the bookstore floor and after getting through his stomach bug, my middle child followed suit yesterday morning at 01H11. Amidst it all, I had to get over 40 authors processed for the upcoming book fair this weekend and considering that only half of them applied to be part of the event through the official channel; I had to play detective to find all their details. My nine-year-old decided this was the week to wage war on us and I got the ceremonial “I hate you, I wish you never existed,” routine. Making sure that I also do some of my own marketing has been quite a challenge. But here I am writing this newsletter and my children are still alive and a very nice lady at Matrix in Kyalami solved the computer problem that someone else told us was impossible.

I took the time to teach my children this week that when someone has exceeded their excess, there are changes in the brain. These changes cause people to react differently. One day when they have a spouse of their own, they need to use these clues to realise that their spouse needs support. In my earlier days, I would have just battled on and caused a few casualties in my relationships along the way. But this time I could recognise what was happening and use it as a teachable moment for my kids. 

Now as I write this, my family is all in bed and I can get on with some important matters without interruption. These are some of the life lessons that I teach in my book series. A staggering number of my fans are older, but I wrote the series for young adults who want an exciting read but have lost the benefit of wisdom passed down through generations. I have taken several life challenges that I have lived through or someone close to me has lived through and woven them through the story. Book 2, The Fire Within the Storm is closest to my heart because I have witnessed the pain that Mary went through in someone close to me. I felt the emotion and cradled a friend through her pain, but for book 2 I also researched other women’s journeys and the process was terrifying and left me feeling shattered.

I hope that whatever you are facing this week, that you will find those teachable moments to transform your thinking.

 Tensions have been high at home this week. I had several deadlines to meet and things felt a little overwhelming. I was struggling to manage my time, and I wondered which goals should be taken care of first. I am due to leave for Port Elizabeth, which is now called Gqeberha to visit my parents. But I remembered an experiment that one of my lecturers at my tertiary education did for us. 

He placed a large glass jar, some large stones, and sand on the table. The task was to fit all the stones and sand into the jar. He first started with the sand and then followed with the stones. Unfortunately, not all the stones could fit into the jar. Then he emptied out everything and this time he started with the stones. When he poured the sand in, it all sifted through the gaps in the stone and every last bit of the sand found space in the jar. You may have already heard of this experiment, but sometimes we all have to be reminded of the simplest messages. 

My friend Daleen reminded me of it a few months ago. She said, “Kim, while you are trying to get cash flow in to take care of your family, remember your personal goals. If you do not, at the end of the year, you would not have written a single book.” I had spent so much time trying to juggle so many things and then worrying when I could not get into the “zone.” So I buckled under this week and bulldozed through, getting the first draft of the 4th book done this week. Of course, it needs the normal 2 or so rewrites. But now I feel so much calmer because I know that the book I promised fans has gotten through the first milestone. I sometimes wonder if that is what Nadine feels like in my series, the Chronicles of Nadine. There are a lot of people expecting things from her and she has multiple tutors. It is rather like a tug of war with an octopus. It is a little hard to grow into the role of diplomat when a King is trying to kill you and a darkened Whisperer is trying to destroy all the dragons and your tutor has enough issues to keep a psychotherapist in business for a year.

 On the weekend, I started reading a book gifted to me by one of my clients. It is a book that plots out what new top levels in a new role should focus on in their first 100 days of their new position. One thing that struck me was the author’s advice that these executives should acknowledge their feeling of overwhelm. I often thought that executives of multinational companies had their act together and that it was only a few emotionally challenged few like myself, who struggled with this feeling of overwhelm. 

I know I have often felt like throwing the towel in, especially when having to juggle homeschooling my books, helping other authors with their journey and reminding myself that my husband also needs some romance. Overwhelm is a massive challenge. And then there are people who will happily criticize your every move. Wondering what everyone is thinking can drive you mad. It can also be a very lonely place where you worry about where to turn. It is almost as if by admitting our vulnerability that we feel somehow defective. But many high-level achievers have coaches or mentors. In fact, the higher the position, the more critical it was. 

All throughout history, kings and queens had a team of advisers and sometimes spies keeping them abreast with what was happening in their kingdoms. In my book series The Chronicles of Nadine, a spiritual tutor, a warrior tutor, an experienced Dragon Whisperer, and a dragon trains our new Dragon Whisperers. They may not take the oath and partake in the coming of age ceremony until they have this crucial team in place. Sometimes we believe we can face the important task of raising our families without a team and with families moving so far away from each other, we have lost this important component of a team. Admitting that you are struggling or feeling overwhelmed is not a weakness if you are speaking to the right team member. 

So today I challenge you to look at the people who you spend time with. Who are the ones who can help you push through your overwhelm and propel you to the next chapter of your life.

by Kim Vermaak

Image by Willgard Krause from Pixabay

On the weekend, I started reading a book gifted to me by one of my clients. It is a book that plots out what new top levels in a new role should focus on in their first 100 days of their new position. One thing that struck me was the author’s advice that these executives should acknowledge their feeling of overwhelm. I often thought that executives of multinational companies had their act together and that it was only a few emotionally challenged few like myself, who struggled with this feeling of overwhelm. 

I know I have often felt like throwing the towel in, especially when having to juggle homeschooling my books, helping other authors with their journey and reminding myself that my husband also needs some romance. Overwhelm is a massive challenge. And then there are people who will happily criticize your every move. Wondering what everyone is thinking can drive you mad. It can also be a very lonely place where you worry about where to turn. It is almost as if by admitting our vulnerability that we feel somehow defective. But many high-level achievers have coaches or mentors. In fact, the higher the position, the more critical it was. 

All throughout history, kings and queens had a team of advisers and sometimes spies keeping them abreast with what was happening in their kingdoms. In my book series The Chronicles of Nadine, a spiritual tutor, a warrior tutor, an experienced Dragon Whisperer, and a dragon trains our new Dragon Whisperers. They may not take the oath and partake in the coming of age ceremony until they have this crucial team in place. Sometimes we believe we can face the important task of raising our families without a team and with families moving so far away from each other, we have lost this important component of a team. Admitting that you are struggling or feeling overwhelmed is not a weakness if you are speaking to the right team member. 

So today I challenge you to look at the people who you spend time with. Who are the ones who can help you push through your overwhelm and propel you to the next chapter of your life.

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 I am thrilled that Spring has started, and it is a real Spring. In my experience, the promise of spring does not always bring the results that I had hoped for. For too many seasons, I have had to keep the winter woolies out for the first few days of Spring. But this year, the promise came with some genuine warm weather. I love the sunshine and it is so much easier to get my quota of Vitamin K when soaking up some glorious rays. 

I am in a happier mood than I have been in quite some time. And it is not just the sun. I am finding more and more page reads for my books on Kindle Unlimited. I am unashamed to say that as an author; I need to have a bit of a boost to my ego once in a while. When you are writing in the early hours of the morning and hoping that your words will make their way to someone’s heart, it can be a very lonely place. Most authors, if they are honest, will ask themselves, “Is my work good enough?” 

Of course, not everyone will enjoy the same authors’ work, but that is also okay with me. I have let go of the need to please everyone and that has taken years to be comfortable in that space. I think that is why I like writing “young adult” because I recognise that it takes time to evolve into the person you were meant to be. I completely reinvented myself in the last few years and I am building a brand so much different to what I wanted in years gone by. 

The sum of my experience over the years has greatly helped me with the skills I need for this season of my life. But I have vowed that the next half a century will be the best part of my life. Perhaps that is why I can relate to both Lady Christine and Nadine. They have both had to reinvent themselves. Whatever season you are in your life, I hope that you can continue to grow and develop yourself to your best version of yourself.

 

It thrilled me to see that I remained at number ONE for an entire week in the New Releases in Teen & Young Adult Classic eBooks. A celebration that I could not wait to share with my editor.

Yesterday I spent a few hours catching up with her. We had not seen each other since the beginning of the pandemic and it was a treasure to see her in the flesh again. As we sipped coffee and munched on chocolate biscuits, it reminded me of how much I have missed her companionship along the journey and I counted my blessings once again that I found a kindred spirit in her. 

She reminded me of the day that we met. It was at a coffee shop in a nearby nursery. The heavens had opened up that day and we could not experience the greenery that I was craving. But despite the gloomy skies, I felt a renewed energy when we started chatting and somehow the naysaying voices of those people who questioned if I could write a book disappeared in that cocoon of our first meeting.

Any victory that I achieve is undoubtedly hers as well. In the early days, she saw in me something that many others could not yet see. Judy has a special blend of encouragement that has sustained me these years and her first words that were etched in my heart were “You made a good start, now let’s get this story to sing.” That moment when you realise someone believes in you is a moment that you give your dreams permission to take flight.

There is a special blend of intimacy that forms when two people are journeying with a common vision. I think if I were to compare it to my characters in my books, I would use the friendship of Lady Christine and Elizabeth. These are two women who met because Elizabeth had a skill set that Lady Christine needed and the encounter blossomed into a friendship that was a balm to them both in turbulent times.

Do you have someone in your life that journeys with you? It is my prayer that you do and, if not, that you become that person for someone else. Who knows what dreams you may ignite?

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