Richard Easter's Blog
December 2, 2019
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH HARSH CRITICISM?
So.
You’ve finished your creative endeavor, whether a book, artwork, film, poem…whatever.
It’s time to send it out into the world. Brrrrrr. That’s always a slightly scary moment, because while you’re obviously convinced of its worth, what about all those…other…people?
You check the various websites, peering through your fingers.
Phew.
Some of them like it. Some even love it.
But then, from no-where, up pops something that really ruins your day. Somebody, for reasons unknown, has taken a vehement dislike to your work. I mean, really vehement, like you’ve personally insulted their family or something. They are really sticking the boot in. It’s horrible. You check their name, in case at some point in the past you slept with their partner or ran their cat over, but no. They’re just a random person and your very existence has offended them at an unfeasible level.
You read and re-read their review. You come at it from every angle, you unwillingly savour the poison their keyboard has injected straight into your veins.
You shake your head, you swear at the screen, you wonder what is wrong with them.
You try to ignore it, but you can’t. None of us can. We all want to be patted on the head and told we’re great. Our childhoods have a lot to do with that - we remember toddling about, surrounded by very, very tall people leaning down and saying how wonderful, clever, handsome, pretty and creative we are.
But then we grow up and the very tall people disappear. We search for them and yes, sometimes reviews pat us on the head and tell us how wonderful, clear, handsome, pretty and creative we are, but then…then there’s THAT review. And all the 5 stars in the world can’t overturn it. THAT review is out there, forever, for all to see.
So what do you do?
You’re tempted to launch a counter-attack, of course you are. You want to metaphorically roll up your sleeves and pile into this person. Tell them that, actually, your work has received a 57% 5-star rating, and who the merry hell do they think they are? You want to sting them as you have been stung, make them go to bed that night tossing and turning at the injustice of it all.
But DO NOT do that.
The world is made of people who can’t let things go. Most of this planet’s problems stem from people who are still seeking revenge for things that happened years before. It’s a never-ending cycle of vengeance and it does nobody any good. Getting into a war of attrition with someone who gave you a one-star review (“and that’s only because they don’t give you a no star option!” they froth) will wear you both out eventually. It is an unwinnable war.
Try to ignore it?
Ha, good luck with that one. You know damn well your traitorous mind will keep replaying the choice quotes from that review in the still of the night. A little voice, on repeat, will mutter those unforgivable criticisms for the rest of time. You can’t ignore it. Don’t even try.
But I have the answer. It’s a technique I employ with 100% success every time I get a stinker of a review. I say “every time” like its a common occurrence, but let’s face it, one bad review is enough.
So here we go. Pay attention.
There was once an old, sardonic comment made by creatives which went, simply “everyone’s a critic”. It was a joke. Of course, not everyone was a critic, it just felt that way when nobody liked your work.
But nowadays, of course, everyone IS a critic. Thanks to the joyful wonders of the internet and social media. there are some people who spend their days sniffing the air looking for something, anything, to be offended by and criticise. Their opinion must be aired on a minute by minute basis, which is fair enough, we all have opinions, but that is all they are; opinions.
Not facts.
“The train is late” is a fact, as is “this food is cold”, as is “your service was rude and inattentive”. But when it comes to creative endeavors, opinions are all we have. I can look at a piece of art that I think is terrible. The person next to me is moved to tears. We’re both 100% and 100% wrong. That person will never persuade me to sob, just as I can’t stop them crying.
So here’s the thing that will help you deal with harsh criticism.
If somebody hates your work and lays into you, remember this; they are 100% right and 100% wrong.
Your work is simply NOT FOR THEM, but they haven’t realised this basic truth. They have confused their opinion with fact, it’s easily done, we all do it, daily.
Because their opinion - according to them - is 100% correct, they can’t understand anyone who disagrees with it. They are right! Your work is terrible, it’s awful, you can’t do your job! Why are you bothering? You’re rubbish!
But these people - and I can’t stress this enough - simply haven’t realised your work IS NOT FOR THEM.
I’ve read books that I’ve thought were terrible. Do I leave a gut-spilling review? No. Because that book was NOT FOR ME. Other people have given it 5-star reviews. They are 100% correct because that book was FOR THEM. It ticks their boxes, it floats their boats, it works. Is the book terrible? Yes. And totally no.
Your truth is your truth and depends totally on who, where and when you are standing. Your entire upbringing is unique to you and will form your opinions about everything.
Therefore Donald Trump, for example, can be the worst human being that ever sat in the Oval Office, and simultaneously the greatest President the USA ever had (if he ever sees this piece, that’ll be the 7 words he quotes from it) both options are right and wrong.
So next time you get a bad review - and I hope you don’t - read it, smile knowingly and walk away, thinking “my work wasn’t for them. They just haven’t realised it.”
You’ll sleep like a baby.
You’ve finished your creative endeavor, whether a book, artwork, film, poem…whatever.
It’s time to send it out into the world. Brrrrrr. That’s always a slightly scary moment, because while you’re obviously convinced of its worth, what about all those…other…people?
You check the various websites, peering through your fingers.
Phew.
Some of them like it. Some even love it.
But then, from no-where, up pops something that really ruins your day. Somebody, for reasons unknown, has taken a vehement dislike to your work. I mean, really vehement, like you’ve personally insulted their family or something. They are really sticking the boot in. It’s horrible. You check their name, in case at some point in the past you slept with their partner or ran their cat over, but no. They’re just a random person and your very existence has offended them at an unfeasible level.
You read and re-read their review. You come at it from every angle, you unwillingly savour the poison their keyboard has injected straight into your veins.
You shake your head, you swear at the screen, you wonder what is wrong with them.
You try to ignore it, but you can’t. None of us can. We all want to be patted on the head and told we’re great. Our childhoods have a lot to do with that - we remember toddling about, surrounded by very, very tall people leaning down and saying how wonderful, clever, handsome, pretty and creative we are.
But then we grow up and the very tall people disappear. We search for them and yes, sometimes reviews pat us on the head and tell us how wonderful, clear, handsome, pretty and creative we are, but then…then there’s THAT review. And all the 5 stars in the world can’t overturn it. THAT review is out there, forever, for all to see.
So what do you do?
You’re tempted to launch a counter-attack, of course you are. You want to metaphorically roll up your sleeves and pile into this person. Tell them that, actually, your work has received a 57% 5-star rating, and who the merry hell do they think they are? You want to sting them as you have been stung, make them go to bed that night tossing and turning at the injustice of it all.
But DO NOT do that.
The world is made of people who can’t let things go. Most of this planet’s problems stem from people who are still seeking revenge for things that happened years before. It’s a never-ending cycle of vengeance and it does nobody any good. Getting into a war of attrition with someone who gave you a one-star review (“and that’s only because they don’t give you a no star option!” they froth) will wear you both out eventually. It is an unwinnable war.
Try to ignore it?
Ha, good luck with that one. You know damn well your traitorous mind will keep replaying the choice quotes from that review in the still of the night. A little voice, on repeat, will mutter those unforgivable criticisms for the rest of time. You can’t ignore it. Don’t even try.
But I have the answer. It’s a technique I employ with 100% success every time I get a stinker of a review. I say “every time” like its a common occurrence, but let’s face it, one bad review is enough.
So here we go. Pay attention.
There was once an old, sardonic comment made by creatives which went, simply “everyone’s a critic”. It was a joke. Of course, not everyone was a critic, it just felt that way when nobody liked your work.
But nowadays, of course, everyone IS a critic. Thanks to the joyful wonders of the internet and social media. there are some people who spend their days sniffing the air looking for something, anything, to be offended by and criticise. Their opinion must be aired on a minute by minute basis, which is fair enough, we all have opinions, but that is all they are; opinions.
Not facts.
“The train is late” is a fact, as is “this food is cold”, as is “your service was rude and inattentive”. But when it comes to creative endeavors, opinions are all we have. I can look at a piece of art that I think is terrible. The person next to me is moved to tears. We’re both 100% and 100% wrong. That person will never persuade me to sob, just as I can’t stop them crying.
So here’s the thing that will help you deal with harsh criticism.
If somebody hates your work and lays into you, remember this; they are 100% right and 100% wrong.
Your work is simply NOT FOR THEM, but they haven’t realised this basic truth. They have confused their opinion with fact, it’s easily done, we all do it, daily.
Because their opinion - according to them - is 100% correct, they can’t understand anyone who disagrees with it. They are right! Your work is terrible, it’s awful, you can’t do your job! Why are you bothering? You’re rubbish!
But these people - and I can’t stress this enough - simply haven’t realised your work IS NOT FOR THEM.
I’ve read books that I’ve thought were terrible. Do I leave a gut-spilling review? No. Because that book was NOT FOR ME. Other people have given it 5-star reviews. They are 100% correct because that book was FOR THEM. It ticks their boxes, it floats their boats, it works. Is the book terrible? Yes. And totally no.
Your truth is your truth and depends totally on who, where and when you are standing. Your entire upbringing is unique to you and will form your opinions about everything.
Therefore Donald Trump, for example, can be the worst human being that ever sat in the Oval Office, and simultaneously the greatest President the USA ever had (if he ever sees this piece, that’ll be the 7 words he quotes from it) both options are right and wrong.
So next time you get a bad review - and I hope you don’t - read it, smile knowingly and walk away, thinking “my work wasn’t for them. They just haven’t realised it.”
You’ll sleep like a baby.
