L.B. Harpdog's Blog

Bamp Blog 3st Entry: 250308

I started to write an erotic story that bled my pain on to the page that I didn’t know I had. I had written a few chapters until I cried and had to walk away from it for a bit. WALLS AROUND MY HEART as what I named it. If you liked 9 ½ Weeks, then you would definitely enjoy that story.

Let’s say at one time, I would have considered sharing Palmyra with other people. But because I loved her, I knew I didn’t want any other man or woman to touch her. You could say I was her Xaiden and she was my Violet from the Fourth Wing story.

So I changed it so that a red headed lady was being put into very erotic situations to satisfy her curiosity as to what a man would have set up for her. But all I thought about was her, Palmyra. I heard that when a man falls in love, that no other woman that he wants. I felt that first hand. My heart actually felt happy when we were together at heart.

My time away from her, even though I pushed her away, made me love her more. Doesn’t time supposed to heal all wounds, or at least make it hurt less? Well everyday I think about her. One second I smile, and then laugh, the cry knowing that I truly fell in love…. Once and I may never hear her voice.

So I took all of that pain, hurt, and regret wrapped it into one story. A series actually called my Bampire series. I was able to write everything I wish I would have said to her. I know I did the right thing by pushing her away so that she hated me. But I saved two families even though I stopped living.

I put all of that into a story so erotic, I guess it rivals porn. 80% of the people who read the first book never reached the best part. That’s ok. Because I sent it to an avid reader and she was not the target market reader of my Paranormal Vampire Erotica Story. She was hooked and invested beyond belief.

The book was going to be originally named QUESTIONS. But then I came up with the name with another up and coming writer name Alessa Barns/Silver Taraus. MIND NIGHT BLUE came to be. The book was originally one book called: MIND NIGHT BLUE 3 Nights with a Bampire. But due to the obscene amount of sex, I turned them into: MIND NIGHT BLUE 1st Night, 2nd Nights, & 3rd Night with a Bampire. This allowed people to taste the life of a Bampire in smaller bites. But again, once a person makes it to the second book, they become hooked on the storyline.

I had erased all of my texts, pictures, and information about Palmyra and placed them on a thumb drive and returned them to her. I am not the kind of person to use past texts to blackmail anyone. I needed her to know that. I promised her that I wouldn’t reveal her face to anyone just because we no longer speak. I erased everything about her off of my computer. But I discovered a copy of my texts that I had sent to a ghost writer to turn it into a story that miserably failed. I re-downloaded it and reread it for a couple of months. I cried because I wondered if she ever truly loved me, or just loved the way I loved her. Like Teddy Swims sang in his song: Some Things I’ll Never Know.

I found this online German writing platform and starting writing my stories. Would you like to know what it’s called? Stay tune for the next blog.

Bamp Blog 1st Entry: 25220


The last time I spoke, I had mentioned a dark secret that I had a dark secret. I made myself a promise that if I were to ever cheat on my spouse, that I would lose value and stop my heart. But meeting a person that saw my broken empty heart was all I ever needed.

My dad was the rock of the family. He was my hero. But once he cheated on my mom, he left. Abuse happened to my siblings and me. But I always focused the abuse on me as much as I could. But his void made it hard on me. So I vowed to never do that. But I felt so alone in my relationship until Palmyra.

But I knew I was starting to fall for her and what that meant, because I always fulfilled my promises. So I worked up the courage to tell her about my dark secret. When she told me, “If you leave this world, I would miss you,” those words made me cry. That was when she made me promise to not hurt myself.

That was when the countdown started happen, the countdown of letting her go. I started to want her more than I wanted to die. The hope of living was coming back and I was scared of hope. I already accepted my fate of letting go of life.

So I tried to leave her, because once I want something, I never quit until I get it. But to have another man’s woman was wrong. My heart cracked when I started to push her away. I couldn’t break up two families, so I decided to break only two hearts, hers and mine.

I had tried to ghost her, but I always missed her. When I went back, she was there. I finally had to lie. I texted her, “I had a great time with you and it was a lot of fun. Thanks for your time. Have a nice life.” Once I pushed sent, I knew there was no coming back to her. But when you love someone and you know it’s not the right time, that you must let them go, right?

After I sent that text, I didn’t eat much for three months only snacked three times per week. I slept and only got out of bed to use the restroom. I didn’t talk to anyone and hope I would die. I developed a blood clot and hope it would end me. But I had to have surgery. After her I was totally defeated. I even called her months later to apologize.

Then I realized I had made her promises. The main one was not to hurt myself. But I also wanted her to know the truth about how I felt and why I did it. So I wrote my first book called: Untouched Affair. It was horribly written. Have any of you had the honor to have read that book? Let me know.

Next I started writing erotic stories. I wanted to fulfill my promise to make enough money to take care of her and her family. But guilt kept eating away at me. I mean, how could I ever treat the one woman I fell in love with that way, especially when I wanted her more than I wanted to live?

I cried everyday for 3 years. No one knew. Not even my wife. I broke my heart to save the family, to save her family as well.
Then I started to write everything I wanted to say to her. What I started to write shocked even me. Can you guess what I wrote?
Stay tuned for the next blog.

MIND NIGHT BLUE: 1st Night with a Bampire
L.B. Harpdog


Blog: 1st Entry

Many people want to know how creatures came about and stories are written. Even the very ideas of how they came to be. Well, I'm going to share with you so very private, intimate, and vulnerable parts of my story.

Where do I begin: It started I had everything, except another heart to carry me when I fell. I was always everyone's rock, their shield, and their comforter. But after years of caring for everyone, I was still alone. My motto in life was: As long as I can help you escape your pain, if only for a minute, then I was fulfilled.

Everything started falling around me. I realized that nothing I did mattered. I was only one man and I was alone. I heard a woman in a video ask us men: Who do you talk to when you are at your lowest? Every man that answered had the same answer: NO ONE! Because, no one cares until they no longer receive anything from us or that we are no longer around.

That hit me hard. So I tried to reach out to my wife and share with her my emptiness. I failed miserably. I didn't communicate it properly, because I felt that when I showed weakness, then she had lost faith in me. So I would work at least 12 hours a day to avoid my loneliness. I worked for a few years, until one day I had lost my reason to live.

I came to the conclusion that my family would be fine without me if I replaced myself with passive income. So i set out to make that happen I had 5 years until my deadline. The day I would depart from this world.

I bumped up my working hours from 12 to 16 and rarely spoke to my wife or kids. I was a, Financial Ghost.

Four years and one month and counting, I joined an online gaming war group. It made those 11 months fly by quickly and enjoyed wonderful people. So with 30 days left, I had started to say my goodbyes online. I was my typical joking self. But one woman noticed me, my pain, and my loneliness. Because was me just female.

Palmyra was from Berlin Germany. She stopped and inquired more about me leaving. She asked: "How long i would be gone?" I told her: I'm not coming back." She dug deeper and asked: "Why? Is everything ok?" I told her, "It will be in two weeks." She asked, "Where are you going?" I told her, "I'm going to finally rest and let go." For some reason, she completely understood and begged me, "Please stay a little longer online with me." I thought, 'Okay, I can give her another week, I got two left'

Those two weeks something happened: She opened me up and got me talking. She broke the strong front that I shared with everyone and got me talking. I shared with her my plan and told her: "I can finally let go. I'm soooo very tired." She texted to me the watery eyed emoji, and said that If I were gone that she would miss me.

After she said that I broke down and cried for the first time in years. I had a video chat and met her and cried in front of her. Years of pain and concerns poured out as frustration and anger.

With years of marriage, my heart only started beating with another woman. But I had one dark secret, a secret that would have her pull away from me. So I hid that secret from her. We both knew we were married, and we both had families. But I wanted her and had to push her away, because a dead man can't let go if his heart is still alive and connected to another.

In the next post I'll share what that secret was. My eyes are too blurry to focus. My tears are telling me to stop for now.

Have you ever had an experience like this? What would you do in my situation? I would love to hear your thoughts.
MIND NIGHT BLUE: 1st Night with a Bampire

Ok followers, which story out of any of my books did you like best?

How did it make you feel?

What alternative would you like to have seen different?

I appreciate you following me. It's my honor to give your mind the best experience my books can offer.

Thank you for following me.

As a reward, once we get 25 followers everyone in my group will recieve Time To Play Book 2 erotic short stories for free with a link that will be posted only on here.
So if you know someone who likes very erotic, and i mean very....lol ask them to join to recieve Book 2

Thank you so much,

In my book 3 of Time To Play Series....
I started what you would call a Sinday ; )

Sin-day means 1 day out of the year whether you have a partner or not where you can fuck anyone, anywhere at anytime. But tbere is only 1 rule

#1 Rule your partner has to set it up for you.

So in honor of my new Series coming out, here is my question.

What would your 24 hours of guilt free see be?

1....
2......
Go...... Im waiting to hear from you .

Happy Sinday ; )