Sara L. Hudson's Blog

Like, WTF?

(BTW, if you don’t know what I’m talking about, I can’t help you-- except to say read Harry Potter🧙🏽‍♂️ books).

And according to the sorting hat🧙🏽‍♂️ quiz my family took before heading to Harry Potter World this past January, I’m married to a Ravenclaw🦅 (with Slytherin🐍 tendencies—no surprise there) and our children are Ravenclaw🦅 (Holly) and Gryffindor 🦁 (Adam).

I’m the lone ‘puff. 🦡

No matter how many times I took that damn quiz🧙🏽‍♂️ (five), it’s always Hufflepuff. 🦡 ♾️

At first, I was extremely unhappy about this. 🤬

“This is bullsh*t. I’m totally Gryffindor.”

My husband snickered and smirked (showing his Slytherin🐍 side) and told me that as the quiz’s questions were in-depth and always changing with each taking of the quiz, the repeat outcome of my Hufflepuff sorting was definitely accurate.

Stupid Ravenclaw🦅.

But, walking around, wand in one hand, Strongbow cider in the other (omg, butterbeer was the most disgusting thing I ever put in my mouth. 🤮 And that is saying something) I thought more about Hufflepuff. And the more I thought 🤔, the more it made sense.

(And really, the fact I thought 🤔 it over this much, only further proved I’m a legit Hufflepuff 🦡. Apparently, we have a big thing for justice. ⚖️)

I mean, the younger version of myself, the one who first read the Harry Potter books and who imagined herself in all the scenes along with Harry, Ron and Hemione was obviously devastated 😔.

But the adult me?
Well, the adult me was more concerned about when we were going to get our daily serving of Florean Fortescue’s ice cream 🍨 (Hufflepuffs understand the importance of food 😋).

During our trip I stood by and watched my kids do magic in all the windows shops with their new wands 🪄 until the Hufflepuff in me thought F this, and I bought my own wand (again—justice⚖️).

Did I feel silly waiting in line behind all the children at the window shops to swish my $80 stick 🪄 around while saying nonsensical words 😮?

Hell no!
I freaking loved it 💛.

So, while my daughter Holly enjoys being known for her intellect and wit🦅 and Adam is all Gryffindor🦁 go-go GO and my husband is a smarty-pants engineer with an evil🐍 genius side, I’m perfectly happy being all—Arresto Momentum.

Let’s all just stop and get along. ☺️ (Hufflepuff’s tend to be introverts though they get along with everyone)

Also—badgers will claw/bite someone to death if provoked. 🦡 🩸 😵

So, you know, that’s awesome. 😉

I wasn't going to tell you a story today.

I figured you were all getting ready to dive into a 🦃turkey cavity and swim in various pies🥧🥧-- so why distract you from that holiday awesomeness?

But then I went into the dark hole (Aka Target🎯).

It started off fine. I was going to get some press-on nails💅 for tomorrow because a while ago I saw a clip of a woman doing her own nails with Polygel and I thought-- 💡I can do that! 💡
Long story short--I can't⛔.
And my nails are still recovering/growing back to a normal length. 🤷‍♀️

Anyhoo, back to Target🎯.

As with any trip I make to the red bullseye, I go in for 🛍️one thing and come out with five to ten others🛍️🛍️🛍️🛍️🛍️🛍️🛍️🛍️🛍️🛍️.

So there I am with press on nails, shampoo, conditioner, some new hair gel that promises to make my hair look amazing while it air dries💁‍♀️, and a cute pair of earrings all clutched to my chest because I thought if I didn't get a basket or cart it would prevent me from buying more. 🤔

It didn't.⛔

A lovely woman with a cart 🛒 walks by me in the children's shoe section and she asks me if I want her to get me basket.

❤️How sweet is that?❤️

I thank her, tell her I'm fine, and then make a 🤗few jokes🤗 about my need for impulse buy anonymous, which she laughs at.
I go on my merry way over to Women's Apparel, happy that I put a smile😊 on someone's face.

Because, as you probably know, I love to make people laugh. 🤷‍♀️

Great day, right?

Until another woman, dressed all in black like a freaking ninja🥷 walks up behind me and scares the crap out of me. 😱

Apparently when I am startled I jump🤾. And raise my hands👊👊 to ward-off impending evil. And hyphen curse🤬.

“Shit-fuck!”

Nails💅, hair products🧼, accessories💎 spend a few seconds sailing through the air before crashing down around me🤭.

Women, families, children all turn to stare at me open-mouthed😮😮, including the nice lady from before😦 and the ninja🥷.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I spent the day before Thanksgiving🤦‍♀️.

You would think I high-tailed🏃 it out of there before I could do anymore damage, but I totally waited fifteen minutes🕞 in line at the Starbucks☕ inside waiting for my grande oatmilk latte with one pump white mocha because I have no shame🤷‍♀️.

Have a fabulous Thanksgiving🦃-- hope you enjoyed the story.

And watch out on Black Friday. Between the scene I wrote in Space Balls and people like me wandering around, Target🎯 can be one dangerous place.
(or funny🤣, depending on your outlook🤷‍♀️).

September may have been release month for Space Balls, but it's also the hub's birthday month.



Poor guy. Not because he had to share the celebrations but because on his birthday I had A DAY.



First, I accidentally used cumin instead of cinnamon went making his birthday French toast.🍞

It's a testament to how much the hub's loves me that he ate it without complaint. I didn't even realize I'd done it (because I don't like eating breakfast) until I was cleaning up and spotted the cumin jar.😬

When I asked why he didn't say anything, he said ❤️“I didn't want to make you feel bad."❤️



Then, at the bus stop🚌, this sweet little Kindergartener started holding herself. Her father, who was with her, asked her if she had to go potty🚽.

She did.

He asked her if she could hold it until she gets to school.

She couldn't.

The brakes of the bus 🚌squealed as it entered the neighborhood.

I grabbed the little girl like a football, yelled “I got this” then ran🏃‍♀️ her to my house tucked under my arm.

It is only after the poor thing had her pants down and was peeing in an unknown person's potty that I realized I basically adducted her.

Thankfully, when I football🏈 ran her back in time to get on the bus, everyone was laughing.🤣

At me, but still, laughing.🤷‍♀️



Then, even after taking my ADHD meds, I still was having trouble focusing. So I went old school and made a To Do List📋: 1) move clothes from washer to dryer, 2) 💌put stamp on letter and then put it in mailbox, 3) set reminder alarm⏰ for ADHD doctor appointment💊.



Easy, right?



I only get number three done before I end up buying new headphones🎧, cleaning my white sneakers👟, repackaging an online clothes order to return📦, and searching for the perfect chambray shirt for this idea I have in my head of Autumn🍂 fashion perfection.💋



When the alarm goes off I get confused and think I made a mistake by setting it.

I turn it off.🤦‍♀️



Ten minutes later, I'm sprinting 🏃‍♀️around the house throwing stuff in my bag because I am now late.

I get out of the house and drive 🚗 down to the road only to turn back a minute later because I forgot my phone📱.

Get phone, get back in 🚗car.

My 📱phone rings.

It's the psychology doctor asking me to check in.✅

Wait, what? Psychology? 🤔 I thought my appointment was for my psychiatrist?



⚠️🤯⚠️🤯⚠️I'm thinking I accidentally double booked myself with both my ADHD doctor man and my feelings doctor lady and I'm asking who I think is the feeling's doctor lady's receptionist to hold so I can call the ADHD place to make sure I didn't somehow confuse the two, only to have the same woman answer the call because she IS the ADHD doc receptionist and I simply didn't hear her say psychiatry not psychology.🤦‍♀️🤯🤦‍♀️🤯🤦‍♀️



Now, since I've wasted so much time, she says I need to do a 🖥️virtual appointment because there is no way I can make it to the office on time.



And that is how I found myself, sweaty😓, panting and near tears 😰in the little camera window of my computer telling my ADHD doctor man that I'm pretty sure my meds aren't working💊🙅‍♀️.



And that was all before 9am🕘.



I won't even tell you how later that night I nearly 🔥burnt the house down putting forty-two candles in the hub's birthday cake🎂 because they all merged together to erupt into some sort of sugar coated flame thrower or how I threw my back out😧 bending over to pick up Legos and took my husband's old pain meds💊 for the pain.



Because that would mean admitting I took double💊💊 the recommended dose because as they were expired pills I figured it meant they weren't as powerful.

Or how I knocked them back with a mimosa🥂 made from the drained juice of my son's mandarin 🍊orange fruit cup and ended up 😳binge watching Schitt's Creek until two in the morning drunk and high🥴 off expired pain meds and spiked fruit cups while the birthday boy slept alone in the other room🛌🏼.



And do you know, after all that, Ken said he had a great birthday? 🤦‍♀️😆🤷‍♀️

He's the best. ❤️❤️

😰 I went down to the wire.

Because, of course I did. 🙄

However, I am fine tuning the edits now, and will be uploading Space Balls tomorrow!

That means those of you who like paperbacks📚 will probably be able to purchase Space Balls before the ebook releases September First. That's just how Amazon rolls🤷‍♀️.

If you follow me on Instagram (which you should, ’cause I'm awesome😆), I'll post if Amazon releases the paperback early.



ANYHOO-- it's done! And to celebrate I created a Goodreads Giveaway.

Just mark the book To Be Read and enter to win a free copy :)

And even if you don't want to enter, if you could mark Space Balls To Be Read anyway, I'd appreciate it. 😘 It helps spread the word.

It was super hard writing this book knowing it was the last in the Space Series. 😢 I thought it would feel good to finish what I set out to do, and it does, but it was a lot harder than I thought.💙
I still feel like there are so many more funny stories to tell about the Space girls 🚀 and their futures, so stay tuned because I just might share those here down the line. 😮

Next time we talk it will be to launch Space Balls!! 🚀❤️🚀❤️🚀❤️

My mother thinks I'm a bully.
I think I'm decisive and always right.


Recently, I've been helping my ride or die, best friend and critique partner 🧍‍♀️(all one person) move out of her house. 🏚️Unfortunately she needed to move after the freeze in Texas caused her 🚰water pipes to burst and house to 🌊flood.



She will tell you she has collections. I would like to use a different word, but I've been forbidden to mention it (rhymes with boarder😱).

During the many trips over to pack📦📦, she complains that I'm making her throw out all her stuff 🚮(she may have a point).

I relayed this to my mother, and she said my friend can join her in the “people who Sara bully club”. 👭

🙄 So much for maternal support.

But after thinking about it, 🤔I have to admit it's true.



I'm one of those people who doesn't have a massive amount of friends. I have a lot of acquaintances 👋👋👋and a few friends ❤️.

If you are my friend, I will go to the mat for you. I will protect you 💪, agonize over the perfect gift to get you 🎁and, of course, drink away 🍷🍷🍷your sorrows with you whether it's at a bar or in the driveway while our kids play hopscotch.

💁‍♀️ I'm classy and awesome like that.



But it also means I want the best for you. 🏆And seeing as I am always right, I know what is best. 🤓

So I will tell you, and then I will make you get it.



Like those awesome 🪟curtains that match perfectly with the couches and wall paint I previously made my mother buy for her 🦩Florida house.



So, seeing as I only bully the people I love ❤️, they should feel super special.🤩



✨It's an exclusive club to be in, after all. ✨

And it turns out, I'm more dark side than I thought. 🤷‍♀️

Who remembers George Costanza? Seinfeld? Anyone?



Well, let's just pretend you know what I'm talking about when I refer to the episode where George is at a kid's birthday party.

Cut to someone yelling “Fire!” 🔥 and George tossing children out of his way in his rush out the door.

Everyone was appalled 😱-- How could you leave the children, George?



But what does this have to do with my recent Disney trip? 🤔



I'll tell you.



Now, I don't want to ruin Rise of the Resistance for you, as this ride🎢 is the coolest thing ever, but I will be mentioning one aspect of the ride that made me realize I am a modern day Costanza. 🤦‍♀️



My group (my bestie's family and mine) emerge into the start of the ride, which is a room of storm troopers lined up in military formation. 😮 Super cool. So cool that said bestie and myself just had to get a picture. 📱



But the light wasn't right.

Someone blinked.

Heads were blocking the Storm Troopers.

Me: “For god's sake, smile!” 😁

Bestie’s son: “Why? I'm wearing a mask, 😷 how can you tell?”

Me: (touché)

Etc., etc.



Through the camera view on my phone, I see my husband’s eyes flick behind me.



Imperial Officers, chin hovered an inch over my bestie's and my shoulders, are glaring at us.



Me: “Holy shit!” 😳 (I never said I should be trusted around children's ears)

Bestie: Ah!! 😳 (she has a much cleaner mouth)



Cut to us hauling ass 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️into the next room where another Imperial Officer waited to line people up into rows for the next part of the ride.



“Where is the rest of your rebel scum?”



Bestie and I glance behind us. 🤷‍♀️



Me: “Oh.”

Bestie: “Um…”



A second later our husbands and children filtered in.



My husband: 👉 “You totally George Costanza'ed us!”



Constanza indeed.

Just call me Darth-Mom 🖤

If you came out of 2020 butt-tired and ready for a nap 😴, then know you are not alone.

And now we get to deal with the many well-intentioned, but never quite sustainable, New Year's 🎉resolutions.



Two of mine-- be more positive and get better organized. Simple, right? 🙄



2020 has been given some knocks, that's for sure. But if I'm going to embrace the positive 🤗(ugh) then I do have to acknowledge that 2020 was a great year for me. Three books published, all hit best seller lists 🤩, two made into audiobooks and all three translated into German. 🇩🇪Danke.

My five-year-old son started and ❤️LOVES ❤️kindergarten and my eight-year-old daughter has perfected the sarcasm and vocal inflection of Alicia Silverstone, a la her 1995 performance in Clueless. 💁‍♀️Like, totally.



Besides the obvious (cough-COVID-cough), 2020 also brought to my attention that I am woefully unorganized. Between home-schooling👩‍🏫, social distancing😷, teaching online college courses👩‍💻, and writing/publishing/marketing three books📚, I spent most of 2020 just trying to keep my head above water, tackling each new and unusual problem as they occurred and distressfully unable to work ahead. 😣



My 2021 solution-- ORGANIZATION!!!



What does this mean?

Apparently, it means spending three weeks researching the best planners, watching YouTube video after YouTube video about Kanban boards and buying out all the pretty colored post-it notes in the Gulf Coast area.😱



My husband, in an effort to be both helpful (and thrifty after the third box of office supplies arrived from Amazon) informed me we already had a lot of the stuff I was buying.

I said we didn't.

He picked up a pack of my newly purchased dry-erase markers and said “We have hundreds of these.”
I snatched them back. “These are the deluxe edition dry-erase markers from Shutter Art in Vibrant Rainbow. 🌈Are you telling me that we have dry-erase markers in Vibrant Rainbow🌈?”

“Well no, but--”

“I rest my case.” Then proceeded to open a pack of folders.

“We have tons of those too!” At this point my husband has taken to wild hand gestures to show his level of frustration.

I am unimpressed. “We do not have flocked, pastel-colored file folders any where in this house.”

A pause.

“No, but we have the regular ones🗂️.”

“You want me to use manila?” The last word spoken on a horrified gasp. Sometimes it's like my husband doesn't even know who he married.

“So you think" --He pinches the bridge of his nose for a moment-- "that just because it is pretty, it will be more useful?”

“Yes." I nod, the conviction of a thousand souls in my voice. "One hundred percent.”

He left after that and went back upstairs to his small corner of the guest bedroom where he works on various things NASA 🚀and aerospace in an atmosphere of standard-colored office supplies, leaving me to my cacophony of brightly hued 🌈papers and pens, complete with gold-foiled 💛 washi tape.



So, besides the marital misunderstandings, getting organized to be less stressed turned out really 🤬 f#cking stressful.



Oh, the irony.



However, having finally chosen one of the many (pretty) poster-sized yearly calendars from my Pinterest board and snagged a framed white board from Hobby Lobby for forty percent off, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.



And that light is f#cking multi-colored, let me tell you. 🦄🌈

Who attempted to drink an entire Crock Pot full of Mulled Apple Cider 🍷whilst shouting 6+ feet away from the candy bowl-- “Pick 3!” at children this Halloween? 🙋‍♀️

Hope I wasn't alone, 'cause I had a damn good time. 🥳

Plus, alcohol kills COVID, or so I tell myself (a lot).

The hubs enjoyed having hair 👩🏻‍🦱for the night, though told me he could've gone without the puffy shirt. ☠️I told him to Seinfeld it up and smile. And he did. 💋

He's awesome like that.

It as my son's year to pick the family costume theme, which amounts to him choosing what he wants to be and everyone else picking something that goes with it. 🧚

And as you can tell-- we loved it. 🧡

The booze helped too. 😉 xxx

My therapist likes to tell me I have a very “all or nothing” personality.

I like to say “second place is just first loser”.

Apparently, this is a problem that my wonderful, and exhausted, therapist would like me to work on.

Bless her.


But there are times, like now, when I'm bogged down with writing deadlines, physical injuries, teaching college courses to students who simply don't get how to “adult,”, coaching my daughter's youth soccer team and being hit in the face with a painful sinus infection 🤯, when I see that my lovely therapist may have a point.

Because if I let my brain have a say-- I'm losing. I've lost. I am a loser. 😞


Writing deadlines have not been met, my crusade to whip my ass into shape has been put on hold due to an Achilles tendon injury, my daughter's team is full of happy, cheerful seven-year- olds who CAN NOT SCORE TO SAVE THEIR LIVES, and the other day I coughed so hard I peed myself.

These are first world problems, and when I step back and get perspective, I realize how lucky I am that these are the only things I'm complaining about.

Then my brain gets involved and says “If that's true, how come you're failing at everything?”

🤔 Okay, I get it, I have a problem.


So, the goal now is to try and be kinder to myself.

I'm not off to a good start, seeing as I totally just 🙄 as I typed that. It sounds so millennial (I am a millennial, so I'm allowed say that 😏).

Great, I'm already losing at being kind to myself. 🤦‍♀️

Dude. Dude.

I have no idea what is up with me, but I can not get a handle on my procrastination.

I mean, I have lived my whole life as a procrastinator. Sometimes gloating about how awesome I managed to pull through at the last minute, but mostly hiding in shame in the corner knowing I could've done better.

But lately I have leveled-up my procrastination game to some sort of hippie/sloth-like level. 🦥

It's gotten so bad that I after I bought three books on the psychology behind procrastination, hoping that if I understood the problem more I could overcome it, I then spent fifty minutes watching Brad Mondo's Hair Dresser Reacts videos.

By the time I realized the irony, I was too busy googling how to die my hair 💜 to care.

And yet another day with no words written.

Yesterday, at the hairdressers (more irony?) I started to read my growing collection of self-help books.

Today is a new day. 💪Space Oddities: Ground Control to Major Cutie