Susan E. Greisen's Blog

Disclaimer: This blog will pertain to my U.S. readers; my suggestions may not apply to my international followers.

Part IV: Trust & Provider Feedback Matter

Let me say here that TRUST is a huge and important aspect of working with your healthcare provider. Just as you trust your family, spouse, partner, or friend, so should you trust your provider. Hey, you have chosen them to help take care of your BODY. Trust applies to all my previous blogs in this series.

Be it your physician, physical therapist, counselor, specialist, or other provider, consider providing constructive feedback. If they did well, by all means, let them know. If there is room for improvement, I would encourage that also. As a patient, it took me several years to feel comfortable doing the latter, and not all providers are good at receiving one-on-one feedback. Be sure the feedback is TIMELY.

Here are other options if you don’t feel comfortable doing one-on-one feedback.
A. Most providers have surveys; please complete them.
B. Rate them on their website with feedback in stars or numerically.
C. Rate them on Healthgrades, a grading website for providers.
D. Give the feedback in writing directly to the provider to avoid one-on-one.
E. If you were unhappy with the provider, many of us just choose another one.
F. However, some would like to improve, so here is how I did it one-on-one.

I had chosen a well-respected physician for a surgical procedure. Unfortunately, I had a bad postoperative outcome and ended up in the emergency room the next day. But because I had a friend staying with me, and because I am a nurse and taught patients how to manage my condition, I did so without any intervention from my physician’s office. But after a week of managing on my own after my friend left, I realized how dangerous my home situation mighty have been for a less able-bodied or less knowledgeable patient. Here are the one-on-one recommendations I gave to his RN and Clinic Manager in a phone call:

Have his nurse make a followup call to me after the ER visit to see what I needed and how I was doing.Because I was given physical restrictions and could not drive and lived alone, I would recommend a home health referral for physical therapy or occupational therapy if needed. They, in turn, would have recommended a wheelchair at home instead of a walker. (I had friends help me get a wheelchair from a volunteer organization.) This was critical for my independence at home.

His staff apologized and said they would make some policy changes to prevent this in the future.

During my office visit 5 months post-surgery, I first complimented him on his visit to me in the ER that night. Not all doctors would have done that. I then discussed my recommendations that I had given to his RN and manager of which he agreed. Early after surgery, the physician gave me a one-month delay in my recovery, but instead, my recovery was delayed several months. I relayed that giving me a range of time would have been more helpful. He received my feedback gracefully.

In addition, it is your prerogative to refuse any care or treatment. I would encourage you to be honest with your provider if you are not going to follow the treatment plan, rather than say “yes” and never do it. During my office visit check-in, I complained of mild to moderate discomfort in my sit bones. The nurse immediately wanted to send me to X-ray. Because I believed it was a soft tissue problem, I refused the X-ray and asked to wait for the MD evaluation. Sure enough, the doctor agreed with me and directed further care through physical therapy treatments. It is OK to say NO.

I encourage you to give both positive and constructive feedback to providers in some way to help all of us improve our healthcare and keep those providers who work so hard to keep us well.

Here is further reading on this topic: Giving your doctor feedback. and University of California, San Francisco.

Let me hear from you about your experiences in the comment section below. We can learn from each other.

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Disclaimer: This blog will pertain to my U.S. readers; my suggestions may not apply to my international followers.

Part III: Take Charge of Your Office Visit

Now that you have read Part I and Part II of my blog post about taking charge of your healthcare, Part III may cause a bit of consternation on your part. Be bold, be assertive, but kind. This is your body, you are paying for this care even though it may not seem that way to some if they have no co-payment or bill because their insurance pays for it. Nothing is free. Most of us have paid into healthcare at some point through our jobs and the money is taken out of our Social Security checks.

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Here are some tips to take control of your office visit that you have paid for. Again, the provider has special training and skills, but this is your body and your appointment time. So make the best of it.

Be kind and genuine. When you are ill, this can be a big ask. This is why the joint visit with your advocate is important as I spoke about in Part II.Begin your visit by asking how much time you have for the office visit. Maybe 20 minutes was allotted, but because you waited a long time in the waiting room and the provider is running late, maybe you have only 10 minutes. Make this all clear at the beginning.Next, inform the provider you have a list of (5 or how many?) questions. “Should I ask now or at the end of the visit?”Answer all their questions as completely as possible. Why are you here, Date and time the symptoms started, the level of discomfort, what you have tried to relieve the discomfort. EVERYTHING. Even things you have done to aggravate the condition. “I went kayaking for 5 hours last week and aggravated the elbow.[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://susangreisen.com/wp-content/u..." data-large-file="https://susangreisen.com/wp-content/u..." src="https://susangreisen.com/wp-content/u..." alt="" class="wp-image-9000 size-full" />

If they provider does not physically examine the area that needs addressing, ask them to do so. If this provider doesn’t do this for your elbow issue, for example, you may want to find another doctor or provider

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Remember, in most cases, you have the right to a second opinion about the conclusion of your diagnosis or treatment plan. Be sure to check with your insurance if this is covered. Then check within your community who and where you might go for this.

Be assertive NOT aggressive with your provider if you believe something is being missed. Healthcare providers are often stressed and under time pressure. So respect their time, be concise, to the point, and avoid storytelling regarding how your grandchild created the fall. Just say you tripped over your grandson’s toy truck and landed on your knee. Help the provider, and they will help you. Taking charge of your office visit takes practice if you have never done this approach before. I’ve received good results, and so have those who have used this method.

My next blog in this series, Part IV, will be about giving your provider feedback. This should be interesting.

I want to hear from you about your suggestions and comments. Let’s help each other. (In the comment section, you don’t have to share a website.)

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Disclaimer: This blog will pertain to my U.S. readers; my suggestions may not apply to my international followers.

Part II: Prepare for Your Office Visit (continued from last blog)

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Once you have found the provider that is right for you (I described this in my last blog, Part I), now is the time for you to prepare for your office visit. You assume you are there to get advice or treatment from your therapist or physician. This maybe the case, but there is so much more you can do to drive the narrative of this visit. But before you even arrive at the appointment, be clear about what you are searching for. I have a list of suggested preparation questions for you.

Make a list of your symptoms or complaints you want the provider to know.Tell the provider everything. And I mean everything. If you give them only half of the information they need, then that is the amount of help you may get. For example, I have pain in my left elbow. I neglected to tell the doctor that fell on it last week, I didn’t say to the doctor that I took 4 Ibuprofen with no results. I also never mentioned that I have had this problem before. I never mentioned that I am a landscaper and lift heavy items all day. Why make this harder for the doctor and you? This goes back to my multiple personal experiences with people and patients I have known over the years. You laugh, but I have seen it all. I’m not sure of the reason for not disclosing everything to the provider. Maybe the person was embarrassed to tell the provider the truth that they played pickleball for the first time and overdid it.Lastly, make a complete list of all your questions, such as, would ice or heat help? should I go back to Physical Therapy that I had done in the past? Should I keep working at my job? others? Be concise and informative for the provider to help respond within the allotted time frame.[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://susangreisen.com/wp-content/u..." data-large-file="https://susangreisen.com/wp-content/u..." src="https://susangreisen.com/wp-content/u..." alt="" class="wp-image-9015 size-full" />

Who will go with you to the appointment? I recommend a joint visit for anyone over 70, and younger if necessary, with an advocate, partner, friend, spouse, or family member to go with you to the appointment. Especially if you are not well and easily overwhelmed. There is much information and many questions that can be missed. It is difficult to be both the patient and a good advocate for yourself. Mandatory joint visits for more serious office visits such as oncology, infectious disease, orthopedic, and pre-op appointments are highly recommended.

What other items would you add to or subtract from this list? What has been your experience? Your comments will help others. Hey, we’re in this together.

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Disclaimer: This blog will pertain to my U.S. readers; my suggestions may not apply to my international followers.

Part I: Tips for Choosing a Provider

This multipart blog is inspired by the recent illnesses and deaths of some dear friends and neighbors. Witnessing them struggle with our healthcare maze was difficult. Guiding patients on navigating the U.S. healthcare system was one of my roles as an RN. In these blogs, I will suggest some concrete ways to take charge of your healthcare.

TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR HEALTHCARE! “Hold on!” you say. “That’s not so easy. I have a bad family history of disease. My body has run off the railroad tracks!”

Yes, there are some health events we can’t totally control due to heredity or some environmental factors, like Diabetes, Heart Disease, or Lead poisoning from lead pipes we didn’t know we had. You don’t always have control over the poker hand you were dealt, but you can decide how you play the cards. Let me start by suggesting some steps for you to take charge.

Suggestion #1: Select the provider that is right for you. (Physician, Therapist, etc). Yes, you can choose your provider. So how do you do that?
A. Ask your friends and family for a good referral that is covered by your insurance.
B. If that provider’s panel is full and not taking new patients, go to the organization’s website and see which providers are, and then read their bio. (If you have a family member whose provider they like, ask the provider if they will add you to their panel, and they often will.)
C. Choose one that fits you best. Don’t give up.
D. Set up an appointment with this provider and interview them. Let them know you’re checking if you are a good fit.

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Here was my experience a few years ago. I had the most wonderful family physician who moved on to an administrative role. I was assigned another seasoned physician. He and I did not mesh, he didn’t always listen, and he made a couple of errors in reordering my medication. I looked for other providers, but those physician panels were full or not accepting Medicare patients. So I went to the organization’s website, found 6 new physicians and picked one based on his bio. When I made the appointment, he noticed I had recently been assigned to another MD. I told him I was looking for a better fit and had a few questions for him. Of course, there are many qualities to look for in a physician, but here are the criteria that were hard to find. (You can develop your own set of questions/criteria.)
1. A physician who will listen to me. (I’m not a pill-seeking individual)
2. A physician who will incorporate alternative medicine (acupuncture, massage, etc.) and nutrition in his/her care.
3. If he/she doesn’t know the answer to my problem, he/she will find the answer or refer me to someone who does.

Over the years, we have developed mutual respect, and he has been the greatest doctor. I have no issue with male doctors or young ones. They just need to meet my criteria.

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Does anyone know this answer? Why do people spend more time researching an item they want to buy, be it a car, house, cell phone, or even a small kitchen appliance, but they won’t research a healthcare provider with whom they entrust their body? Medical providers are not GOD-like people; they are human, with varied skills, and they can make mistakes. Yes, they have specialized knowledge, but you know your body best; besides, healthcare is a team effort. I encourage you to be assertive when seeking a provider. We only have one body, and we have to give it the best chance we have.

I can’t wait to hear your comments below on this topic. Give me a hand clap if you like the post.

My next blog will focus on how to take charge of your office visit. You might be surprised.

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I had no idea my last blog would carry so much concern among my readers. Personal notes and messages were sent; one asked, “Why hadn’t you called me?”

I was remiss in telling my readers that during my infirmary weeks ago, the outpouring of care from nearby neighbors, friends, and surrogate family was amazing. I even asked a friend to become the central communicator to disseminate updates to my many helpers. All is good now!!!!

The second silver lining to my illness (besides inspiring my writing) was knowing how many people cared about and were willing to help me. I am overwhelmed with gratitude. The transportation, food, flowers, cards, visits, phone calls, text messages, emails, etc were so touching.

Thank you to everyone who contributed to my healing, and I apologize to others for not letting you know I was ill.

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Several weeks ago, I developed community-acquired pneumonia, AKA walking pneumonia. I lay weeks on the couch, listless, weak, with no appetite. My family doctor tried diligently to avert it. When it developed into a bacterium, the antibiotics finally worked.

But until I fully recovered, I couldn’t shut my mind off. Over the days and weeks, chained to the couch, I spiraled into a black hole of unfavorable memories of my life. With no energy to read or watch TV, I gave myself a lecture, “You’ve got to stop this nonsense and do something, or you’ll end up at the point of no return.”

With my mental health at stake, to stop the downward trajectory, I began to compose my second memoir, a story I rarely spoke of.

I once entertained writing this book about the challenging, but wonderful, two years I lived and worked in Cameroon, West Africa in 1980. I discounted its value because it was not as compelling as my first memoir, Pink Flamingos, had been. It didn’t have birth, death, heartache, heartbreak, rejection, suicide, sexual harassment, sex, and my own near-death experience. Who would want to read such a fairytale book?

At this point, its readability didn’t matter, I had to survive my mental decline. On day one of my self-imposed assignment, I crafted the first chapter summary in my mind’s eye. As my memory rekindled, days 2-20 of my infirmary created more chapters of escapades and critical events that were compelling and intriguing.

A couple of weeks later, when I regained my stamina, I typed up the 20 summary chapters. Wow, this book does have merit; a reason, a purpose, and a takeaway. My enthusiasm excelled, and I called five American friends in three parts of the U.S., characters in the book, to pick their brains about their memories of those events. Some I had not been in touch with for years and two since I left Cameroon in 1982. The excitement among us was palpable.

I’m sharing this with you to put the stake in the ground that I plan to write and publish this book. Wish me well on my writing journey.

Postscript: Since the phone calls to my five Cameroonian friends, the group has now grown to about eight, with plans to have a Zoom reunion and one inperson in the future.

What writing inspirations have you encountered? How do you survive the grip of illness? What comments do you have?

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Even though it’s been months since I returned from Morocco in December 2024, the fond memories of that country and its people have left an indelible mark I won’t easily forget. I wrote about the sheep migration in an earlier blog. But there was so much more. In several instances, it seemed that life stood still for centuries.

Upon my return, I wrote feverishly about that time with deep connections to the people. But none more than my Hammam experience. Here are excerpts of that narrative. (I plan to publish the entire entertaining piece in a future anthology of my writings.)

A hammam, for the uninitiated, is a public bathhouse originating in the Roman Empire and spreading across the Mediterranean, serving as a place for bathing and socializing....

Our tour guide, Mohamed, expertly enticed us into this "authentic" cultural experience, describing it as something Moroccans do weekly. So why not? Six men and seven women from our group decided to give it a go....

After surrendering our clothes into tattered plastic bags—promptly snatched away by four giggling Moroccan women—we entered a steamy, marble-lined chamber. Inside, we were split into groups and paired with local middle-aged women wearing nothing but spandex shorts....

I took in my surroundings. Several naked Moroccan women of all body types and ages were represented including one sporting an eight-month pregnant belly. There was no body shame, embarrassment, or standards to meet. Highly refreshing. My favorite sight was a grandmother, a mother with her 3-year-old daughter who bathed her baby doll, a generational tradition in the making....

...Then it was my turn when my "scrubber"—a formidable woman with the strength of a seasoned wrestler—began her work. Two heaping ladles of warm water rained down upon me. Before I processed what was happening, I was guided to lie on a towel that covered the marble floor. The scrubber donned her abrasive glove dipped in olive oil husks and began the ritual. Our guide warned us that if the scrubbing became too intense, we could yell "Shwia!" to signal discomfort.

I was tossed about like a fish being prepped for the market - descaled, flipped, scrubbed, exfoliated. I attempted a feeble "Shwia!" but was met with a bemused grin. The scrubbing was vigorous. Aggressive. Thorough. I was flipped and exfoliated within an inch of my life.

When it was over, I was shampooed and doused again. As I exited, I noticed one of my companions, wide-eyed with terror, pressed against a wall. This was probably not the highlight of her trip.

After we were finished, dressed and dazed, with the skin as soft and new as a newborn baby, my six tour mates and I stumbled out into the night, buzzing with shared experiences. And then came the real fun—comparing stories with the men of our group who had their experience....

This hammam experience was more than a bath; it offered an unfiltered look into local life. It was cultural immersion at its most intimate. And nothing can be more intimate than nudity. I felt honored to experience it. It was, without a doubt, one of the most memorable moments of my Moroccan adventure.

Would you have engaged in this experience? Or maybe you have. Tell me about it.

One response to “Indelible Morocco: My Hammam Experience”DaleJuly 31, 2025[image error]

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Some parts of my memoir, Pink Flamingos, were painful to write when it came to telling the whole story, the whole sensitive truth. I was concerned who would read it and what they would think; my family, my classmates, my work colleagues. All my coaches encouraged me to write what happened, not focus on the readers. I was petrified. When my older brother read my draft, he said, “Release it to the world,” giving me the courage to publish it.

I recently spoke with an 84-year-old woman as she was writing her memoir for her children. She was concerned about her unborn great-grandchildren who would one day read these stories. Writing about how imperfect you or others are is difficult. Yet, anyone who leaves blank spaces in the narrative subjects the reader to speculation. For instance, “I did a bad thing and was punished.” Even a small child will ask, “What did you do?” and “How did they punish you?”

I gave her the same advice I was given. Let the truth set you free. Writing my truth did more for me than my 4 years of therapy. I peeled my onion to the core and found my inner truth. My writing was mentioned in my editor’s book entitled Memory into Memoir. I wrote about this in my blog called TRUTH.

In a memoir, get permission if you are using real names. I suggest avoiding fabrication unless you’re delving into fiction. Don’t judge your characters with hindsight writing, but write what honestly happened to you at the time. This allows the memoir to flow more like a novel than a boring journal.

I discovered that sharing my truth allowed my readers to open up in the 30+ book clubs I’ve attended as a guest author. I spoke from a vulnerable position, allowing them to do the same. They shared their family traumas, their personal flaws, and their self-doubts. Quotes from readers: “My upbringing was controlled when I was a child”, “I didn’t realize how my husband’s absence affected my parenting of my two children”, “Religion played a big role in my upbringing and not always in a positive way.”

The book clubs have been amazing and rewarding, and I am still learning about myself with these discussions. I discovered that I or the individuals in my book were not judged by my readers as flawed or bad, but as real human beings. What a relief. We are just a petri dish, like a growing experiment in this thing called life.

The journey of writing is rewarding. I’d love to hear from you as a reader and or writer.

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So what is so challenging about writing a children’s picture story book? I could write under 600 words in about 30 minutes and get it done. Not the illustrations, of course; I found a wonderful illustrator to do that. Hey, I am already a published author of adult nonfiction stories and poems.

“Piece of cake,” I said, when I was given an opportunity to write a children’s book based on a true story of Dima, a wildlife guide I met in Botswana. But what was I thinking, being a childless woman who never had one children’s book as a child.

Targeting 8-11 year-old children, my first naively written draft was almost 1800 words about Dima guiding an American family in the Okavango Delta of Botswana. However, the Children’s Book class I attended discouraged my word count, and I needed to limit the book to 32 illustrated pages that included the text under 600 words. I narrowed it down to 1500 words. I had so much to tell.

Then my writing critique group also thought the word count was too high and suggested writing the book from a different perspective, from Dima’s childhood. Back to the drawing board. This entailed calling and interviewing him on WhatsApp. I wrote the new draft in 700 words. Wow, so much better. Quite engaging for a young reader.

Finding a perfect test audience, I read both drafts to 11-year-old twin boys. From the mouth of babes came the truth. One boy chose the first draft because he learned about the wildlife dangers little Dima met while living in his village. The other twin liked the second draft because Dima taught the tourists and the readers about the wild animals. They suggested I publish both books, the first when Dima was a child, and the second as a sequel.

Writing a Children’s Book is much harder than it appears. This challenge has been fun and enlightening, and with much more to learn, I’m determined. I hope to publish my book in 2026-27 to educate readers about not only protecting wildlife, but also how it provides jobs in Dima’s area via tourism.

Have you written a children’s book? Tell us about it. I’d love to hear your comments.

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This blog title uses the word ages in its literal translation. Therefore, this poem depicts my journey toward accepting my own aging process. I’ve been a relatively healthy 74 year old engaging in a variety of physical and mental activities that keep me vital and active.

My poem, My Sacred Temple was accepted for an anthology publication entitled A World Unsuspected. I read it at a book launch on May 3rd, 2025 in Bellingham, Washington. Read the entire poem below.

My Sacred Temple
by Susan E. Greisen 12/24
My Sacred Temple is crumbling
45 years of yoga have forsaken me
I can no longer do the full bridge pose
Even though I did it once correctly

My wrists don’t flex
My back won’t bend
My neck is tight
My groins don’t extend

Has my yoga ship sailed?
Is it perfection I seek?
Yoga was once my salvation
But now my muscles are weak

Hip and wrist arthritis
Found a new home in my joints
Once soothing yoga poses
Have become sore sticking points

Child’s pose now hurts
Downward dog requires props
I can’t hold most poses for long
Let me finish and lie like a corpse

Secretly I admit the sole reason I go
To seek my luxurious retreat
The sauna melts my aches and pains
They love the nurturing heat

My yoga instructors gently
Guide me through the routine
I listen to their messages
Some that are not always obvious or seen

I was surprised one day by the question
“What do you want to keep?”
“Compassion and Love” are what I found
When I looked deep

Gradually I awakened and discovered
My yoga buddies I didn’t always see
I rarely noticed their impact
Their collective positive energy
Some with healing fractures, chronic arthritis,
Joint replacement, or cancer mayhem
Their diagnoses make me seem young
Yet they never let it bother them

During our yoga practice
We are not to look and compare
So, what am I moaning about
Thinking life is unfair

Many in my classes are older than me
Some a decade or more
We have known each other for several years
Next to them, I lie my mat on the floor

Steph and Karen in their upper 70s
Pat and Jim in their 80s, and Jane is 89
I covertly look for them during my practice
Whenever I want to moan or whine.

Dementia has a grip on Sonia at 82
Her companion guides her poses
Once a European child of war
Her smile is like a bouquet of roses

Robert, 84, limps in with chronic pain
Carolyn battles her third cancer at 82
They are my chair yoga buddies
My self-gratitude is way overdue

I modified some of my poses
To not cause so much pain
This change to my practice
Is for those who are more sane

Maybe I’ll complain and feel sorry for myself
But only for a moment
Because I will look for my yoga buddies
And banish my sorrow and judgment

My yoga family inspires me
They have shown me this is just another stage
Because of them and their guidance
My Sacred Temple is full of yoga that doesn’t have an age

More about Susan’s writing at https://susangreisen.com/
A World Unsuspected (2025) published by Sidekick 2 responses to “A Poem for the Ages”phsandovalMay 31, 2025

Yes indeed. Age is only a number and I at 90 with heart problems. 2 hip surgery plus other things still look at my glass half full.

eat desserts first as it’s stressed spelled backwards

congratulations on your new project!

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ReplyDale GillesMay 31, 2025

Luv ya, darlin’!! Yoga or not!!

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