Kelly Chang Rickert's Blog

Parenting Plan Doesn’t Work With My Schedule

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Best interests #bestinterestofchild #coparenting #jointcustody #divorceattorney #familylaw #MiFamilia

♬ Follow me – Shawn

 

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Exercise and Eating Right Yields Healthy Relationships

I once was involved in a case where the couple drifted due to diet and exercise habits.

Husband and wife were once on the same page, thereafter Husband began to care about exercise and diet.  Their lifestyles gradually drifted and then affairs happened.  Then, divorce.

Healthy Relationships and Exercise

I’m not sure how this relates to anything that should be on a family law attorney’s blog.

Apparently, sometimes too much exercise can hurt a marriage too:  A Workout Ate My Marriage.

Don’t Be Deceived By the Internet

I do note, however, that in order for a marriage to work, many many sacrifices and compromises must be met.

I also note that the world we live in is increasingly focused on “self”.  Especially on social media.

If you happen to drift onto my website because you’re considering divorce, I hope to dissuade you from such.

Maybe consider exercise and diet instead, and how to have a healthy lifestyle together.

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Why 40 is Significant

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Divorce Court What to Expect

The Lord examines the righteous, but the wicked, those who love violence, he hates with a passion. Psalm 11:5

There once was a man and a woman who built a house together.

For years, they filled it with laughter, meals, and memories, but over time, the walls began to shake with anger and resentment.

They could no longer see the love they once held; all they saw were the wrongs done to them.

Headed to Court

One day, they went before the rulers of the land to divide what they had built.

“Decide for us,” they said, “who shall take the house, the gold, the children, and the treasures of our life.”

The rulers, cloaked in robes of justice, weighed the arguments, listened to the accusations, and pronounced their judgment.

But the judgment was not simple, and it was not kind.

For the court, by design, could not see hearts; it could only see claims and counterclaims.

The house was split, not according to fairness or mercy, but according to the law’s cold logic.

Walls were torn, treasures were claimed, and bitterness poured like fire through the halls.

And the children – innocent and small – stood in the courtyard, helpless, as the home they had known crumbled around them.

To the neighbors and ordinary people watching from afar, it appeared the parents had gone mad.

Everyone could see they were destroying themselves, yet they continued to blame the other.

It seemed they would rather tear the house down—burn it to the ground – than allow the children to find happiness with the other.

Beware of Family Court

In that court, nothing was safe; every claim, every possession, even the hearts of the children were caught in the crossfire of their fury.

Let all who enter the halls of divorce court take heed: it is a place where hearts are ignored, love is measured only in claims and defenses, and the sword of judgment can bring utter ruin. Only those who come with wisdom, humility, and a willingness to reconcile may hope to leave with anything of lasting value.

May God open the eyes of those who can see, that they might truly see, and let them not be blind like this couple.

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Keep Elections Fair in California Vote NO Prop 50

Woe to those who make unjust laws, to those who issue oppressive decrees, to deprive the poor of their rights and withhold justice from the oppressed of my people, making widows their prey and robbing the fatherless.  Isaiah 10:1-2

Most people don’t understand what’s going on in politics these days, which makes foul play extremely easy for those in charge.

Don’t Hate Trump So Much That You Become Like This They Hated Trump So Much

These days, many people vote without really paying attention to what a proposition or measure actually does – they just vote against Trump.

It’s very disturbing that people hate him so much that they are wlling to hurt themselves just to express their hatred.

Remember when news circulated suggesting a link between Tylenol and autism?  Some women, in protest, took dangerous amounts of Tylenol, and tragically, some even suffered kidney failure—all in a misguided attempt to make a point.

This same mindset is at play with how politicians like Gavin Newsom have marketed Prop 50 as a way to be  “against Trump.”

Don’t fall into that trap. Be thoughtful and informed about what you’re actually voting for. Here’s what Prop 50 really means—read, understand, and decide for yourself.

Prop 50 isn’t about Republicans or Democrats.  It’s about the strong v weak.

Prop 50 Explained

Once upon a time in California, everyone needed a big map that showed where people would vote for their leaders.

Enter the Helpers

A few years ago, the people of California said:

“Let’s ask helpers who don’t work for the government to draw the map.  They’ll listen to everyone and make it fair.”

Those helpers are called the Redistricting Commission.

The helpers worked hard!

They listened to towns, families, and neighborhoods.

They tried to make the map fair, so everyone’s voice could be heard.

They didn’t care which team won — they just wanted to make sure everyone got to play by the same rules.

Their hearts were set on fairness.

Enter Sneaky Players

But now, some lawmakers in the California Legislature are saying,

“Hmm… maybe we should draw the map this time instead.”

You see, those lawmakers already have a lot of power.

And sometimes, when people have power for a long time, they can start thinking about what helps them instead of what’s fair for everyone.

They might not mean to, but their hearts can get a little biased – like cheering for their own team instead of all the players.

The Bible reminds us:

“The heart is deceitful above all things.” — Jeremiah 17:9 (NIV)

That’s why God teaches us to set up systems that keep things fair – so no one can secretly move the goalposts or tilt the scales in their favor.

What Proposition 50 asks

Should the lawmakers draw the new map themselves, or should we let the fair helpers — who listen to everyone — do it again?

If you vote YES:

You’re saying, “Okay, lawmakers – forget the helpers – you can draw a new map.”

If you vote NO:

You’re saying, “No thank you — let’s keep using the fair map the helpers already made.”

Think of it like soccer:

Imagine one team is losing and says,

“Wait! We’re going to move the goalposts to make it easier for us to score!”

Would that be fair?

Of course not!

That’s what can happen when people in power get to redraw the map.

Voting No on Prop 50 helps stop that.

It keeps the goalposts where everyone agreed they should be.

The Bible says:

“The Lord detests dishonest scales,
but accurate weights find favor with Him.” Proverbs 11:1 (NIV)

“Do what is right and fair.” Proverbs 21:3 (NIV)

God loves honesty — not playing favorites, not bending the rules — but doing what’s right for everyone.

In simple words:

Prop 50 asks, “Who should draw the map — the fair helpers or the lawmakers?”

A No vote keeps the map fair, keeps the game fair, and helps California do what’s right in God’s eyes.

VOTE NO on Prop 50.

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Sheep’s Blood Anti-Venom

I heard this story the other day, and I wanted to share it with you.

A rattlesnake bit one of my sheep in the face about a week ago. Deadliest snake that lives around here.

The sheep’s face swelled up and hurt her terribly.

But the old rattlesnake didn’t know the kind of blood that flows through the sheep.

Anti-venom is most often made from sheep’s blood. The sheep swelled for about 2 days but the blood of the lamb destroyed the venom of the serpent.

I was worried but the sheep didn’t care.

She kept on eating, kept on drinking and kept on climbing because she knew she was alright.

Often the serpents of this life will reach out and bite us. They inject their poison into us but they cannot overcome the Blood of the Lamb of God that washes away the sin of the world and the sting of death.

Don’t worry about the serpent or his bite, just make sure that the Lamb’s Blood is flowing through your veins.”

Author Unknown

“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.” 1 John 1:7

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When Praying is a Crime

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Marriage Advice to Taylor Swift

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.  Genesis 2:24

Everyone’s talking about Taylor Swift’s engagement. In fact, I was interviewed by Inside Edition yesterday about it, because as a family law attorney and law professor, I’ve spent years watching couples navigate the highs and lows of marriage and divorce, and I believe I have anecdotal insight.

So if I could sit down with Taylor for just a moment, here’s the advice I would share with her (and with anyone preparing for marriage).

Dear Travis and Taylor,

Congratulations! Marriage is such a beautiful gift, and I am thrilled for you two as you step into this next season.

God’s Design for Marriage

Marriage is God’s design. It’s meant to bless you, stretch you, and sanctify you.

But don’t fall for what the world says marriage is about.

Marriage may make you happy, but happiness is fleeting.

And don’t you dare run for the hills once it gets tough.  Because it WILL, at some time, get tough.

Marriage is not meant to make you happy; it’s meant to make you holy.

You may not understand it now, but as you get to know your Creator (the one that made you and knows you best), you will understand.

The Longing of the Human Heart

Ecclesiastes 3:11 says that God has “set eternity in the human heart.”

That longing you feel—the inspiration behind so many of your songs – is ultimately a longing for God.

Travis cannot meet all of your eternal needs (and that’s not a knock on him!). You cannot meet all of his either. None of us can.

Only God can.

Marriage Is a Covenant, Not a Contract

Marriage is not just a legal agreement.  It is a covenant.

When you leave and cleave, becoming one flesh, that means for life.  Till death do you part.

The world has dumbed down marriage and and stripped it of its beauty.

Reject the world.

Yes, a prenup may protect your assets (and I have some pointers below) – but it won’t  protect your heart. All the money in the world can’t replace the pain of something that was meant to be one being torn in two.

No matter how “bulletproof”  your expensive lawyers promise your prenup will be, it won’t shield your heart or mind.

Instead, tend to your marriage.

My mom told me – like plants, you gotta water it every day.

Be good to one another.

Make Christ the center, the firm foundation of your life together.  Couples with Christ at the center are less likely to break covenants.  

Now, About Prenups

If you guys do sign a prenup, here are a few common provisions:

Change the Default  – Waive Community Property

In California (and 8 other community property states), everything acquired during marriage – both assets and debts –  is considered community property.  That’s the default.

A prenup lets you change that default so each of you keeps your own, unless you say otherwise.

Alimony Waiver

You can agree that if divorce ever happens, neither of you will receive spousal support.

(Important note: child support is different—it can’t be waived.)

Separate Property Recitals

List what each of you owned before marriage so it’s clear and protected.

Don’t co-mingle if you want it to stay separate.

Gifts

You can state that large gifts (for example, over $10,000) remain the recipient’s property, not part of the marriage to be divided later.

Yes, I Have a Prenup

In the early stages of our marriage, I, too, naively thought a prenup was just there to protect my stuff in case we ever got divorced.

But now, after 20 years, it’s not the stuff I worry about.

All of that is replaceable.

What matters are our children, our memories, our hearts—the life we’ve built together over the past two decades.

I could walk away from the money, but walking away from the gift of marriage –  that’s what would hurt.

A prenup cannot fix that. It is a legal document created by human hands; it cannot repair the breaking of God’s perfect design.

No prenup will ever heal the pain of divorce.

So my prayer is that you never, ever, ever have to see your prenup again. Focus instead on building a life together that treasures what really matters: your hearts, your family, and your covenant with God.

The True Foundation

So if you do get a prenup, my advice is this: sign it, put it away somewhere safe, and then never let it hang over your marriage. Build your life together with love, holiness, and eternity in mind.

Because Marriage is grand. Divorce? A hundred grand.®

And mostly, because God has blessed marriage.  We weren’t meant to do this life alone.  Marriage is companionship on this walk back to God.

Taylor and Travis, I love you guys

…and I believe God has amazing plans for you in His kingdom.

He has gifted you with a platform.

Use it for His glory.

And know this: I’ll be praying for you.

With love and prayers,
A fellow believer in God’s design for marriage

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Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest. Proverbs 6:6-8

First, Understand Community Property

A common misconception many have is this: “My retirement account is in my name only and I never comingled.  So it is separate property.”

Wrong!

Community Property is ALL assets and debts acquired DURING marriage.

If you already had a retirement PRIOR To the marriage, the portion that you had prior to the marriage is separate.  However, all contributions and gains on the contributions during marriage are community.

Keeping Separate Property Separate

Before you enter marriage, get a prenuptial agreement.  I cannot emphasize the importance of this.

If you are already married, oh well.  Read this article: Keeping Separate Property Separate Without Prenup .

If you have separate property prior to the marriage, it is VERY important that you keep it separate.  Always keep proof, i.e., statements at date of marriage, stored in a safe place somwhere.

Defined Benefit Plans v Define Contribution Plans

Most plans fit into one of two categories: defined benefit or defined contribution.

Defined benefits plans have a value which is typically a monthly benefit based on contributions made by the employee spouse and the employer.  In general, the non-member (non-employee) spouse has a 50% interest for the period of time the spouses were married and the member spouse (employee spouse) worked for the employer related to the defined benefit plan.

Defined contribution plan examples are 401(k) plans, 403(b) plans, and 457 plans.  These types of plans have a value based on the funds currently in the plan.  You can log on anytime and determine the current value of your plan.

Qualifed Domestic Relations Order

After you have agreed upon how the retirement assets will be divided, there are certain procedures to distribute.  You may require a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO).

A QDRO is a special court order that allows retirement plan companies to divide certain benefits. They are required when dividing pension plans, profit-sharing plans, and 401ks.

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Establishment Clause After Lemon

The Lemon test (aka the ghoul in a late-night horror movie that repeatedly sits up in its grave and shuffles abroad, after being repeatedly killed and buried) is FINALLY dead.

Never more will it “stalk our Establishment Clause jurisprudence…frightening the little children and school attorneys…”

 

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