Jessica Stone's Blog

Are you a hugger?

I am. I really miss saying hello with a hug. I am sad that now people think twice before what would have been a casual embrace. And I am very worried about what this means for our children.

But I don’t want this to be a depressing message. Many things are still the same, like our cat Peppa finding her spot beneath the tree.

And the chocolate-chip shortbread cookies I make year after year, because they are so easy, I don’t have to think much about holiday baking. Now, I realize that I really have too much to think about, as I should have told you about the recipe much earlier so you actually had time to make it!

Christmas has felt a little weird to me ever since the divorce and our son started alternating homes for the holidays, but whenever I got down about it, I would just turn my attention to him and tell myself that if he wasn’t sad, then I shouldn’t be, either. I would also remind myself that many people have professions that make them unable to spend the holidays with their children.

Of course, it’s perfectly acceptable to feel whatever you’re feeling, but a change of perspective really can do wonders. And so today, as I find myself alone on Christmas Eve (with presents to wrap last minute), I am remembering all of you and that each of you may have your own feelings about why this holiday is “weird” and that we really aren’t all that different at heart, despite our own circumstances.

Speaking of changing perspectives, a change of scenery–particularly with people who love you–is potent medicine. Part of being OK with this weird Christmas is the fact that we spent Thanksgiving with family in Florida. Lots and lots of hugging. Cuban hugging!

Nature, too, offers its own healing embrace. When you grow up in Miami, you never go to the beach in the off season. Now as an adult, I felt delirious, childlike excitement to discover that this is what you can enjoy in November on Key Biscayne:

From pine trees to palm trees, perspective really is everything.

Hope your holidays are as warm and embracing as they can be.

As I was in the homestretch of releasing Craving London, I lamented that I had not done much reading this year. Then, on the day of the launch (which was my 46th birthday), I got an email from The Enneagram Institute (I’m a total 4) recommending the book An Interrupted Life: The Diaries of Etty Hillesum. Etty lived in Holland during the Holocaust years and started keeping her journal at the age of 27, two years before she died in Auschwitz. I was immediately overcome by a tremendous urge to drop everything and search for this book.

I started watching youtube videos about the war, to orient myself to Etty’s time. Immediately, I felt ashamed about my own writing. How trivial of me to think I had gone through pain, and to write about frivolous things like dating and recipes. How pointless to wax on about journeys and overcoming, when others have gone through so much.

Then I got into Etty’s writings. Yes, she mentions the division and oppression of her era. But guess what she devotes much of her journal to? That’s right: her love life. Or the lack of a love life, and her frustration about it. She talks openly and intimately about her womanhood. Here is an excerpt from the book:​

Yes, I want him to say, ‘Darling, you are the only one and I shall love you for ever more.’ I know, of course, that there is no such thing as eternal love, but unless he declares it for me nothing has any meaning. And the stupid thing is that I don’t really want him, don’t want him for ever or as the only one in my life and yet I demand it of him. Do I demand absolute love from others because I’m unable to give it myself? And then I always expect the same level of intensity, when I know from my own experience that it cannot last.

An extremely important book, especially now. I highly recommend it and would love to discuss it with anyone who has read it.

Recent book news

Here’s a roundup of different book-related things since my last message:

​High Vibe Tribe podcast with coach Marcy Neumann, where I talk about how I learned to “fall in love on command”.

Bites by the Page is a fun blog/Instagram account where two sisters rave about books and food. Perfect. Here’s the (short and sweet) interview.

Finally, my laugh-filled chat with London author K.A. Masson is here.

Signed copy = stocking stuffer!

If you happen to live in Miami, you can pick up a signed copy at the Barnes & Noble in N Kendall Drive—a few blocks away from my mother.

A million thanks to all who have pre-ordered Craving London, out on November 17th.

Apparently I did a smart thing putting it in the England travel category on Amazon, because it has stayed as a #1 new release in the US in that category. In case you don’t know (I didn’t), when you publish a book on Amazon, you can only choose two categories. But…then you can email Amazon and ask to be included in a total of 10. Well, actually 20—because it’s 10 each for the eBook AND paperback. This required several hours of research into all the various categories, where comparable books sit, and where my book stands the best chance. To complicate matters, Amazon stores (or “marketplaces”) in different countries have different categories.

​As this becomes all too real, and the book is highly personal, I have several fears. Let me count the ways…

​1. Fear that I’ll be exposed as totally bonkers in the romance department (“No wonder this woman is single!”)

2. Fear that I haven’t caught all the typos and redundancies, even though I’ve been through the book countless times

3. Fear that after all this work, the book will fall into oblivion

4. Fear that I will offend people, or forget them, or not do them justice

​Many of these fears have dissipated throughout this process, specifically the fear of “being found out” as weird, eccentric, perhaps even undatable. Fear that I’d be romantically ruined forevermore. But at nearly 46, this really doesn’t bother me as much. I mean, how much worse can it get? And if someone wants to go on a date with me, I can just hand him the book and say, “Here, read this first. Then decide if you still want to take me to dinner.” That should weed out a lot of them.

​But with a five-year old, a book, and needing to make a living in the process (I’m still doing my copywriting/ghostwriting freelance), who has time to date anyway?

​In other news, my London friend and fellow first-time author Kathryn arranged a spontaneous Zoom call with me and her filmmaker boyfriend Graham, so that he could guide me in setting up an audiobook recording space in my closet:

(That’s my bedroom vanity that I moved into the closet, and it happens to be perfect for housing all the equipment. Peppa the cat has no idea what’s coming.)

​You can order Kathryn’s domestic noir thriller here (spoiler alert: it’s a sexy one!) and watch Graham’s haunting film here, which is also set in London, and which got so creepy, I had to turn on the light during one scene.

​Until next time…stay tuned!

I’ve never felt time fly so fast than in the lead up to this launch.

I cross one thing off my to-do list, then five more pop up in its place. And everything takes so much longer than I think it does, because I’m learning as I go along.

A lot has happened, so here is a rundown:

1. New launch date is November 17th—my 46th birthday!

Traditionally-published books historically release on a Tuesday, and I like the idea of doing it the old-fashioned way. It just so happens that this year my birthday falls on a Tuesday, and it’s conveniently before the holiday frenzy. Plus, the book is dedicated to my mother, who likes to remind me how long she was in labor. So November 17th it is.

2. Ebook and paperback pre-orders are two different animals.

If you click this link, it should take you to the Amazon store for your country where you can pre-order the Kindle edition of Craving London at a special limited-time launch price.

And if you scroll down on that Amazon page, you can read a juicy excerpt from the book!

Amazon doesn’t technically do pre-orders for the print book, but there’s a workaround: I listed the print book through IngramSpark, which then shows up in Amazon, or at least it should. At present, I’m trying to figure out how to link the two product pages (are you confused yet?) Remember, I’m learning as I go. Anyway, once I get the paperback pre-order links working properly, I’ll send them your way—along with links to other retailers, if the ‘Zon is not your thing.

3. Audiobooks are a whole other story.

Speaking of learning, I posted for help in a Facebook group for audiobook production, and I was connected with a fabulous narration coach, who I am now calling my Audiobook Fairy Godmother. She told me exactly what equipment to get, hooked me up with a place to order it, connected me with a guy who is going to remote engineer it (super cool/scary enterprise I will surely report on), set me up with a distributor/publisher, AND gave me an incredibly valuable voice coaching Zoom session. Ask, and ye shall receive.

But…of course there are glitches, or perhaps, fortuitous occurrences: the microphone is on back order because so many narrators have been working at home this year. This wouldn’t be such a problem if the guideline is to record TWO MONTHS before book release date so there is time to edit the files and prepare them for distribution.

And in order to record in the first place, I need to set up my walk-in closet as a recording booth. To do that, I first need to install a WiFi extender, since my router is downstairs and the closet is upstairs…AGH!

Deep breaths and all that. Ideally, the ebook, print book, and audio book should be released simultaneously, but 2020 is anything but ideal. So I will deal.

Meanwhile, I need to plow through my marketing campaign, which has nicely started with a 5-star rating from a book blogger in Scotland!

I’ll share her review once she posts it. And if you’re on Goodreads, come find me here.

That’s all for now.

Oh! Food. Remember that? You really need to make this butternut squash soup. It is Fall, after all.

I know you haven’t heard from me in a few weeks, and that’s because:

a) I felt bad that I had pushed the launch date for Craving London and didn’t want to keep stringing you along with fluff just to fill the time

b) I wanted to write when I actually had some news

c) I’ve been busy/emotional getting my kid (and myself) ready for kindergarten (which comes with a whole new set of emotions/logistics in these “unprecedented times”…)

Hindsight is truly 20/20. More so in 2020. Remember when we all had such high hopes for this year?

Anyway, now that school is underway, I can categorically say I was totally off when I thought I could have this book out into the world in August. No way. The stress alone was not worth it. These past few weeks without school have been precious—lazy mornings, unscripted days, mid-week adventures, lunches out.

Now I have more time, and more head space to focus on the book launch. And I was able to be more present as a mom, allowing me to pertain to important tasks, like preparing the lunchbox:

​And if you follow me on Facebook, then you will have seen the quick video I posted about the arrival of the print proof from IngramSpark, which took a whole month.

Let me give you some background on this printing process:

As an author, I needed to set up print distribution on both IngramSpark AND Amazon KDP. IngramSpark books appear in catalogs that supply bookstores and libraries in addition to retail online orders. So, one of the many things I’ve learned in this self-publishing journey is that I need to list the paperback in BOTH Ingram and Amazon. If you order a paperback through Amazon, you might get your copy from either distributor. The price will be the same, but if I list the book through both platforms, there should always be stock available should Amazon run out (because you’ll help me make this a bestseller, right?!)

What surprised me about Amazon is that I got the print proof in less than a week, and I thought the paper quality was better—the book feels and looks more substantial. The back and spine also preserved the original design better. However, the cover image of the Ingram proof (left) is sharper. Check them out side-by-side (the Amazon proof has the “not for resale” banner):

​Having actual copies in hand has allowed me to spot some issues, which my friend and cover designer Andrea Warmington straightened out and then created new files for me to upload. Note: just to make things trickier, Amazon and Ingram use different templates, which means any correction requires double time, in addition to any changes in the eBook cover file. I am so grateful for Andrea’s patience. Flipping through the book, I also noticed some formatting flaws with the recipes, so I fixed those. Next, I will go page by page and read the book again to pick up any stray errors, fix them in the formatting software, and download the new files.

And THEN I will upload those files to all the major platforms to get those all-important pre-order links to you.

Phew.

Stay tuned and have a great rest of your weekend.

​After my last update, you may be wondering what—if anything—the attorney flagged in my manuscript.

There were only two things.

First, it turns out that there was a possible “invasion of privacy.​”

What exactly is that?

It’s not that I revealed something unsavory about someone else…but that I disclosed a medical condition related to one of the romantic interests in the book.

Now, I’ve given nicknames to all the romantic interests (yes, you will read about several!) That means people in the book are not identifiable by the general public. Still, I decided to err on the side of caution—and respect—by taking this detail out. And now I know better—people’s medical information should stay private.

Second, the attorney asked if the recipes in the book were original. Recipes themselves aren’t copyrightable, but you’re not supposed to copy them verbatim.

My answer was this:

I wrote the recipes over a decade ago while I was in London, and my approach to recipes has always been to look at several of them and then create my own version. Plus, the recipes in the book have now been refined by the helpful comments of my recipe testers (thank you, testers)! In addition, the Cuban recipes are from my family.

So I’m good, except I decided to reinforce the credit for the grilled cheese recipe I loved at Borough Market. I’m still a (recovering) worrier, and credit should be given where credit is due!

For your eating pleasure this weekend, here it is:

ONE-AND-ONLY GRILLED CHEESE

Adapted from Bill Oglethorpe

Makes one sandwich

¾ cup (75 g) of the best grated cheddar you can find

¼ cup (25 g) grated Gruyere

Small handful of chopped shallots

Clove of garlic, crushed

Two slices of good sourdough (from the middle of the loaf for a big sandwich)

½ tablespoon of butter for greasing

1. Assemble the sandwich and place it on a hot, lightly greased griddle. Press the sandwich down with a cast-iron panini press, or use a heavy frying pan.

2. Cook for about 3 minutes until the crust starts to brown and the cheese melts through.

3. Flip and cook on the other side until golden. Slice in half and surrender.

​

Two positive book updates for you today:

1. My legal review is done!

While I was waiting—which really wasn’t all that long—I had to make peace with NOT knowing what the attorney might flag and what that would mean in terms of revisions. When the manuscript came back, here’s what I learned:

The things I worried about weren’t issues at all.

Isn’t it funny how we can drive ourselves crazy like that?

This made me think of a quote about all the bad things that happen—but only in your head. So I looked it up.

It seems that there are various versions of this sentiment:

“My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened.”

― Michel de Montaigne

And:​

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”

― Mark Twain

And even:

“Most things I worry about never happen anyway.”

― Tom Petty

And since many of the things I worry about don’t come to pass, this has led me to ponder that we often can’t predict—and hence worry about—things that might actually be problematic. Which is a good thing, because what we might think is problematic is often not so with just a change in perspective.

Which brings me to book update #2:

2. I spoke with a recording studio about doing an audiobook!

I decided to email a local studio and find out what the cost would be in comparison to doing it myself at home. And yes, I want to narrate it myself, particularly as it is memoir. (I have a few worries about the actual narration, which I’ll get to later when recording time comes…)

For now, what I want to share with you is that the guy who runs the studio was incredibly helpful and enthusiastic over the phone. I liked him immediately when he called. Then he told me that it’s a “faith-based” studio and that God had put a love for this work in his heart, hence his overflowing elation to share his calling with others.

As soon as he said that (which I had kind of ignored on their website), the old Catholic schoolgirl in me went on high alert, and I couldn’t think of anything else. So I stopped him as he was talking and I told him this:

“Since you mentioned faith, I should let you know that in the opening chapter of the book, I’m talking with a priest—about sex.”

To my surprise, he told me this was ok. What was not allowed, however, was profanity. Cursing, to be clear.

Oops.

“Well, there is one mention of S-H-I-T.”

Yes, I actually spelled it out.

Very cheerfully, the studio guy told me that unfortunately he couldn’t work with me in studio because of the content of the book, but that he could teach me how to set up my own studio at home.

Stay tuned.

​If 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that life can have other plans.

And today, I have to postpone the launch of Craving London.

I could say that one event last week set it off, but now in hindsight I can see how a delay was inevitable.

Last week, I realized that I needed to have an attorney review my manuscript.

I had given this detail a passing thought months ago, but it wasn’t until I thought I was in the home stretch that I realized I really needed to do it. I was uploading my book to IngramSpark—the worldwide print distributor—when a pop-up box asked me if I mentioned any other people or companies in my “title” (and by title, they mean the whole book).

Why yes, I do. It’s a memoir. And while I made up nicknames to protect the romantic prospects in the book, I do include celebrities I reported on and media outlets I worked for while I was in London. And it’s all true. If you want to know HOW true, check out the podcast I did with my book cover designer here.

Traditional publishers do legal reviews all the time, and as a self-published—or indie author—this falls on me.

I’ve resisted having to postpone the launch. I don’t like going back on my word. And I really just want to get the book out into the world.

But my friend Vanessa (whom you already know about if you follow my Facebook page), has a little mantra that has helped me a lot (which she adapted from Kute Blackson):

“This too is good.”

Whenever something feels like it’s going wrong, Vanessa tells herself “This too. This too is good.” Then she takes it one step further and asks:

“Why is this good?”

Let’s look at why this launch delay is good:

-Once the manuscript was in the hands of the attorney, and my hands were tied moving forward with my 25-page to-do list—I realized I had been pushing myself to meet an unrealistic deadline.

-Giving myself more time means less stress, which is a good thing when you’re a mom to a five-year-old.

-With a longer runway, I can really do the launch justice. I’ve been studying other writer’s launches in this weird world we now find ourselves in, and one of the things I’ve learned—which I’m super excited about—is the idea of a “virtual book tour.” Right now, I’m lining up several people around the world to do Zooms/FB Lives with where we discuss different themes in the book. This should be fun!

-PRE-ORDERS! I wasn’t certain of the value of these until people started asking me about it and until I started studying other book launches. With the book on pre-order when I announce a launch date, you’ll be able to reserve your copy right away—and then the book can start generating buzz on all the platforms. Win! As you can imagine, I’m really counting on this book launching my author career, so I can keep writing more books for you.

So WHEN will Craving London launch, you ask?

Well, a writer friend had warned me several weeks ago:

“I wouldn’t launch until I have a print proof.”

That was sound advice, but in my rush to get the book out to you this summer, I bulldozed ahead. And crashed.

Here is what I’ll do now:

Once the book is back from review (should be this coming week) and I make any necessary adjustments, I’ll order a print proof. And if it looks good, then I’ll upload the book to all the major platforms. This will give me those all-important pre-order links, which I can then share with you!

Still with me? I really hope so.

Thank you for your continued patience, and for responding to my survey last week. A surprising 56% of you wanted a paperback book, which makes me even more certain that delaying the launch is what’s GOOD. See, you can easily launch an eBook, but print requires all sorts of extra steps. (Let’s not even talk about the audiobook—I’ll get there!)

Phew. That was a lot. But while I was texting with my cousin Silvia asking her what I should say, she said this:

“Just be open about it. So far you have taken us along for the ride. Why stop now?”

When I asked her if it would look bad, she added:

“I would say it makes you more relatable to the average person. Nobody likes a little Miss Perfect.”

Sage counsel, right?

Here’s to making the best of it this year.

Check out my first podcast interview, all about self-expression: co-hosted by my long-time friend Andrea Warmington (who also created the Craving London cover)!

If you want to see the video version, go here.

​One of the joys of writing Craving London has been reliving memories–and the music that goes with them.

There are 19 songs/artists (and recipes, which are in the hands of my intrepid recipe testers!) in the book, each of them having to do with the story.

At first, I had actual lyrics written into the manuscript, until I realized that this is a copyright no-no, and I could get sued. So instead I listed the song name or artist. One of my fellow self-publishing authors created a playlist during her launch, which then inspired me to do the same. It was a logical next step given all the musical influences in the book.

A few of the tracks were already in my iPod (remember those?) when I moved to London in 2004 (and I would listen while running and daydreaming about someone…), while the other songs were popular when I lived there. I wanted to set an accurate mood and inject nostalgia, taking us back to that time–and the feelings that went with it.​

The songs are listed in the order that the track or artist appears in the book…save for one: “No One Is to Blame” by Howard Jones. I originally included the opening line of this song as an epilogue in the book:

You can look at the menu, but you just can’t eat.

To me, this line poignantly sums up a key theme in the book, but alas–the legal issue. So I removed it and included it as the final song in the playlist. I hope you enjoy it, perhaps next time you’re in the kitchen or going for a run:

​Craving London playlist on Spotify​

The choice of songs will make a whole lot more sense once you read the book.