David Giffen's Blog

This will be the final post from GiffontheWay.com.

Sharing my thoughts and stories and reflections with you has been a great privilege over the last few years. This blog was part of the foundation from which I wrote my book Redemptive Trauma, published in 2020. It chronicles my thoughts and reflections from the time I was an active Priest in the Church, through the publication of a published memoir, and my evolution into a mental health professional in Toronto.

If you are someone who has read the book, and you’ve googled GiffontheWay and landed here: This is the podcast I want you to listen to. Hosted by Lori from the Rising Tides Healing Centre in New Brunswick, I couldn’t be more grateful for the opportunity to engage in what I believe to be the most authentic conversation about my book — and where I found myself in the aftermath. If I never speak about my book again, this is where I want my readers to land; this is the follow up I want you to hear.

Alongside colleagues and friends, I am exploring the possibility of hosting (or co-hosting) a podcast (or another media platform) in 2023. Although GiffontheWay will no longer be active, you know I’m not one to stay silent.

In the meantime, if you’d like to join my 403LC mailing list, please send me a note here at 403LC and I’ll make sure you are included in future correspondence and announcements.

Thank you for all your love, support and care during my transition on the Way. I hope to see you on the flip side.

Be well on the journey.

David

***

𝗧𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗺𝗮 𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸! Season 2, Episode 1 is available now!

You can listen to all Talking to Trauma episodes on our website: https://risingtidesnb.com/podcast/

Or on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4gGJYQpsDcYH8Bukyn7jMW

Or on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/…/talking-to…/id1599132347

If you had told me a couple of years ago I’d wake up in July 2022 with a critically acclaimed memoir stocked at ten Indigo stores across three Canadian provinces… well, it would have taken some convincing.

Cambridge, London, Kingston, Oshawa, Scarborough, Moncton, New Glasgow, Sydney, Halifax & Fredricton!

I couldn’t be more grateful. Thank you.

Redemptive Trauma is available online or at an Indigo store near you:

https://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/books/redemptive-trauma-confession-of-a/9780228842187-item.html?ikwsec=Books&ikwidx=9

#bookstagram #indigo #books #bestseller #thankyou #grateful #barnesandnoble #inthenews #redemptive #memoir #canadianauthor #authorsofinstagram

They told me I shouldn’t listen to them because they were violent criminals. They told me I shouldn’t glamorize them because they weren’t role models for me. They told me I shouldn’t copy them because their words incited violence.

They told me I should be afraid of them because they said: “Fuck the Police!”

They didn’t tell me they were poets and prophets and the voice of the streets. They didn’t tell me they were fathers and sons and actual human beings. They didn’t tell me they were warning us of police brutality and a system that leaves young black men crying, “I can’t breathe!”

They slapped a black and white label on every album they’d produce; try to keep those lyrics out of the hands of kids like me.

Tonight’s Super Bowl halftime show is a triumph for Hip Hop, for Compton, for Inglewood and for the black community. It’s not a victory for the NFL because of how long it took to get here.

But as a former suburban white kid—raising an urban one—it’s finally time to rip the label off so we can stop averting our eyes. It’s time to listen to Kaepernick, and Pac and Cube and Dre.

It’s time to finally see.

“This is a powerful memoir, and while it explores some of the painful moments in the life of an ex-priest, it offers a powerful invitation to readers — to refuse to let past, traumatic experiences define who they are. It is the story of the broken healer, and readers encounter someone who is fully human in his exercise of his faith, vulnerable in a way that appeals, and genuine in his quest for goodness in a broken world. I enjoyed stories featuring the author’s ministry and work towards restorative justice.” —Cristina Prescott

https://thebookcommentary.com/view-book.php?id=335&banner=no

That time I was a guest on Mental Health Matters on Rogers TV with Joddie Walker, MSc,RP, CTRS-Clinical and host, Courtney Gedeon.

#MentalHealthMatters

Back in January, I sat down with IndieReader for an “All about the Author” interview. It’s been quite a ride for me since their staff gave Redemptive Trauma, IR Approved status. Grateful for their important place in the industry.

https://indiereader.com/2021/07/advice-from-ir-approved-author-david-giffen-write-raw-edit-carefully-and-dont-publish-til-you-are-ready/

I suppose one could describe David Giffen’s “Redemptive Trauma” as the story of a priest’s fall from grace, but Giffen would likely want you to understand his story as a fall into grace. David Giffen was an Anglican priest in a large, successful downtown Toronto parish before he was deprived of his ministry for having a sexual relationship with a member of his parish staff. In his book, David gives a relentless account of his childhood trauma, addiction, and mental health struggles which led to the implosion of his professional life and heart-wrenching upending of his marriage. But this book is not a tragedy. Rather, it is the story of a man finding meaning, hope, and redemption by the grace of God.

If you do not appreciate honesty, do not read this book. David, in his writing, is painfully honest about his struggles, his past, his mistakes, his beliefs, and his relationship with family, friends, and God. Do not read this book unless you are willing to be honest about your own issues. It does not matter whether you agree with David’s theology or his views on the Anglican Church because he is writing from the gut about gut-wrenching personal pain and growth. Sometimes the book confuses me about chronology and the order of the events he is detailing; sometimes I want to argue a point or ask a question for clarification, but I was fully engaged while reading the book. Sometimes I wondered if David was confessing more than I needed to know. However, David wanted me to know it all, so there it is. I also wondered where the redemption came from. There are several sources cited: his son, his old friends, his faith, his family, his intellect, his humour, all the above? David’s uncompromising belief in a God of grace and mercy will unsettle a Church that too often worships statistical success (while seeing less and less of it) while falling down at the altar of ‘the next golden boy priest’ (David uses the term ‘golden boy’ in reference to the manner in which Anglicans elevate priests to the role of the Church’s Saviour, forgetting that it already has one).

David Giffen is telling us that he is David Giffen, loved by God and imperfect. One who, like all of us, ‘misses the mark’ and is in need of forgiveness. As a priest myself, I found it astonishing that David’s commitment to a God of forgiving grace should have met with opposition in any Christian Church. Some may accuse Giffen of using grace as a license to ‘do whatever you want’, as in ‘cheap grace’, but that is not how I see it. He is offering the grace of God as the only effective alternative to
hopelessness, despair, and ruination.

The most telling comment Giffen makes is near the end of the book where, in summary of his ordained ministry, he points out, “I’ve rarely ever caused chaos all by myself.” The Anglican Church needs to read, mark, and inwardly digest David’s confession because a priest is not a priest in a vacuum. He or she is part of an organic, interwoven mess of broken people who profess faith and proclaim Christ while reaching out for grace. It amazes me (but should not after thirty-four years of ordination) that a priest can be successful and popular in a Christian organization as vast as the Diocese of Toronto and yet, at the same time, feel unable or afraid to be honest with his fellow Church members. David felt he had to create a persona; he even describes feeling like he was in a Halloween costume when he wore his clerical collar. Why? Why does a Church elevate and admire a man when he is showing the outward trappings of success, when the numbers are good and the money is coming in, but runs away from that same man when cracks begin to appear after years of trauma and mental health issues? Of course, the Church has standards, boundaries, and policies, discipline, and so forth… but in David’s account it seems something could have been done to help him before the situation became a matter of discipline. Discipline issues seldom come out of nowhere. There was a back story. And why would a priest who needs help be afraid to access it? Do clergy persons fear for their jobs if they admit that they are struggling? It is a real issue. In 2014, the Christian Post magazine published a study which revealed that 70% of clergy regularly contemplate leaving their ministries. The same study showed that clergy are more vulnerable than other professionals to financial trouble, sexual dysfunction, pornography addiction, and generalized anxiety with concomitant substance abuse.

David Giffen is telling us that superficial charm and the trappings of success in a Church are no substitute for honesty, depth, and truth between’ sinners seeking grace’ (i.e., The Church). He asks a fundamental question: while I was popular, and moving up the ladder in the Church, the Church loved me. Would the Church still love me if it knew my problems? If it knew my past? If it knew the real me? David’s answer is simply, “God knows the real me and loves me. That’s all that matters.” Read and decide what matters to you.

The Reverend Phelan Scanlon
Hearst ON
Diocese of Moosonee

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It's a New Day!

Do you often wonder about the events that lead up to the defrocking of a priest? David Giffen gives us a true account of the actions that led to his defrockement.

Raised in a Catholic home, David entered the Anglican church and joined priesthood shortly after. It was an effort to live out the highest aspirations that others had for him. David embraced a secular leadership style in his ministry and was successful at his job. He was helping people, but deep inside he was in turmoil. While he was taking care of others, he had some unresolved issues of his own.

His inner turmoil and priestly lifestyle couldn’t coexist together and this culminated in an affair. What started out as an innocent friendship crossed the boundaries of intimacy and was soon laid bare for his congregation. As you can expect, he was defrocked, but this wasn’t rock bottom.

Redemptive…

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That time I sat down with Real Housewife of York Region and Psychotherapist-in-training, Courtney Gedeon, to talk about marriage, divorce, mental health and addiction.

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“It’s not your pain you’re afraid of… it’s yours.”

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