Lindsay Murray's Blog

Can't post this excerpt (or graphic) on Facebook. We'll see if my Instagram survives.

My head was spinning out of control. Just as I sunk into the pleasure again, the heat of the wax brought me back, spilling over the backs of my thighs and my bottom. I jerked and screamed under him, and he groaned as he kissed the side of my hip.

“You taste so good, Munchkin. Fuck. I knew you’d taste like sugar. So sweet, babygirl.” 

I writhed under the mix of sensations, becoming steadily more aroused and more frustrated. He threw in some spanks on my bottom and some tender, sweet kisses on the base of my spine, just to confuse me more. 

“Daddy, please–”

I felt his lips against my shoulder, and he stroked my hair softly. “Oh, babygirl, you’re doing so good for me.” 

Bitter Sweets will be out on 12/31! Preorder now for the lower price, maybe get a signed copy headed your way in the new year, and tell all your friends.

Welcome to my educational series! I've been wanting to do something like this for a while, to spread awareness and education about consensual power dynamics and safe(ish) kink play. These posts will also be on my Facebook page(s), and my Instagram page.

Bratting Vs. Disrespect - Where is the line? That line is going to be different for everyone, and it comes down to one word - Negotiation.

Within the confines of BDSM, Negotiation is the magical word that helps you get what you want, and protect your partner at the same time. But it is (as Reuben says in AOSAS) a lost art.

How about an example:

"I want to brat you because I want you to force me to submit because that's hot."

"Okay. I like that too. I'll do that."

This is not a good negotiation. This is a conceptual conversation only. Let's take it further and keep it safe and respectful.

"I want to mouth off to you so you put me in my place."

"Do you want to be put in your place with verbal degradation and humiliation and bullying? Or just physically pounded into the mattress?"

"Pounded, please. And punished, but not 'I'm disappointed in you' punished. Just 'I want you to remember who is in charge' punished."

"I'm okay with that, but I don't want you to insult me or question my love for you when you mouth off. And I don't want you to poke me in the stomach when you brat me, because that's a sensitive thing for me that I'm still working on."

"I want to make sure you see how much I want you once we start playing. I don't want to make you feel insecure. But, can I call you names to exacerbate the energy?"

"Yes, but don't call me a looser. It pulls me out of the headspace. What can I call you, or not call you?"

"You can call me everything except a cunt. And you can spank me, but don't slap my face."

"What is important to you in the scene?"

"That I feel valued and treasured, and that I feel how much you desire to dominate me. The rest is details. What about you?"

"I want you to be worn out at the end. If you're not exhausted and worn out, keep pushing me. I don't want to leave you half fucked. I want you to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I love you, respect you, and can satisfy you."

(this is just barely scratching the surface, and there can be so much more.)

But the point here is that it's more than just "do this, don't do that." This negotiation has limits in place, a goal in mind, and a mental, physical, and emotional state where both couples want to be at the end of the scene.

This is respectful bratting.

Having a safeword or safe code in place is good, too. In AOSAS, Reuben counts to 3 to tell Alice where he is on the "okay" scale. Some couples might use counting to three to show how close they are to being ready to play. My husband and I have used "pause" as a phrase to mean "I need to step away and process some stuff, or mentally prepare myself, but I still want to do this" kind of key word.

Define your terms. Set your limits. Ask for what you want. Respect your partner.

That is good communication.

Happy bratting!

Welcome to my educational series! I've been wanting to do something like this for a while, to spread awareness and education about consensual power dynamics and safe(ish) kink play. These posts will also be on my Facebook page(s), and my Instagram page.

I see this question online a lot! How do you get your partner to do that thing you really want to try? It could be as simple as fuzzy handcuffs, or as major as mindfuck.

Once again, the answer is pretty simple: You don't pressure your partner into doing anything that would break their limits.

This one really comes down to communication. If you communicate your wants and needs, and your partner understands why it's important to you, and it is within their own limits, often times they will be willing to try it. However, if you mention something to your partner and it makes them uncomfortable, pushing or pressuring them to do the thing is a violation of consent.

But let's say your partner is pretty open, and you're struggling to bring up the thing. Here are a few conversation tips that can help.

"I was reading a story/watching a video/thinking the other day where (Describe in detail the thing). It made me really excited and I felt ________."The more detailed and specific you can be here, the better. Especially if your partner is vanilla, they might not have an idea of how to incorporate a kink into play. This is a great way to introduce an idea without outright asking, which, for someone without experience, could shut them down without actually exploring the idea. Gauge your partner's response. If they get excited by the idea, it might be fun to ask. If they look at you like you're crazy, it may be best to pick something a little more tame to start.

"I really like the idea of (the thing). I think it would make me feel _______." This one is great because you're assigning a "why" to the thing. Do you want to try bondage because you want to feel helpless? Or because you want to feel scared? knowing the why behind what you want will help your partner craft better scenes for you in the long run.

"Can you tell me about some of your fantasies? Can I tell you about some of mine?"This just gets the conversation going. You may be surprised what comes up!

Welcome to my educational series! I've been wanting to do something like this for a while, to spread awareness and education about consensual power dynamics and safe(ish) kink play. These posts will also be on my Facebook page(s), and my Instagram page.

Let's talk about public BDSM play for a minute. There are all kinds of public scenes that people do in books, spicy short stories, etc. I very often see people online questioning what is ok and what is not. And then, of course, there was that viral photo a few years ago with a guy in kinkwear on a leash in public. So where exactly is the line?

It's actually pretty simple: The public hasn't consented to witnessing your play. So they cannot find out what you're doing.

Here are a few examples:

Fantasy: being naked in public under your long coat; wearing a short skirt with no panties; wearing a button-down shirt with no bra and not buttoning it, but letting it hang closed etc.

The issue with all of these: If you expose yourself, and a minor sees, you are now a sex offender. Even if the person who sees is not a minor, it's still public indecency. Even if they are not offended, they still didn't consent to see you without clothing. Ask yourself, is your fantasy more important than someone else's consent?

Solution - wear clothes. Sorry, but there's no getting around this one. You have to wear clothes in public. If you're wearing a skirt or dress that cannot fly up (a sheath dress, or one that cannot billow because of the cut) you can probably get away without wearing underwear. But be cautious who you choose to do that around.

Fantasy: Wearing bondage gear in public

Issue: it really depends on the bondage gear you wear. Are you wearing a chastity device that nobody can see? That's not a problem. Has your Top tied you up under your shirt? As long as the ropes don't show through, you're good.

What about wearing a collar and a leash in public? This is more of an issue. There could be ways to get around it, such as threading the leash through the arm of your sleeve and your partner holding it, but that is a safety concern, and I wouldn't recommend it.

A better option is for your partner to have some kind of possessive hold over you. Perhaps they put their hand on the back of your (public appropriate) collar, threading their thumb under it for a good grip. Maybe you have a bracelet around your wrist that your partner can hold, or maybe instead of holding your hand, they hold your actual wrist. This can be just as much bondage as ropes or handcuffs.

Fantasy: wearing an insertable toy in public

Issue: If your toy has even a tiny possibility of it falling out, it is the same as exposing yourself. If your toy makes noise, even if you're in a loud place, it is still possible someone will hear it. This is the same as exposing yourself. If you orgasm because you can't handle it, or look highly flustered and aroused, you are still bringing people into your kink. They didn't consent to watch you come.

The only context in which playing with an insertable toy around other people would be appropriate, is if the people around you have consented.

So maybe you're sitting on a park bench with your playmate, your toy secure (perhaps a tight pair of underwear keeping it from falling on the ground) and your playmate is playing with the controls on their phone. A group of people walk by. Your partner adjusts the sensations to stop completely. The non-players pass, and the sensations start again. This is a perfectly acceptable scenario! As long as you take careful consideration of who is around you, and what they could possibly see. Sure it's not as much fun as doing it in a restaurant where anyone could judge you... but again, you can't bring someone into your play without their consent.

If these solutions don't do it for you, it's best to play in kink-friendly spaces. Always remember to ask yourself, "If kids or cops saw this, would I go to jail?"

What kinds of public scenes have you done? Would you do it again?

Time frame: Before... almost everything.

"What do you want for your birthday?"

"Brett Hudson."

"C'mon, you know I can't give you that."

"Why not!"

"You know why."

"I think 'he's too smart for the organization' is a stupid reason."

"I'm aware of what you think. Pick something else."

"I want Jesse Stone's head on a stick."

"I would love to give you that. But we agreed we'd save him for Becca."

"No, you said we'd save him for Becca. But I happen to know that Becca doesn't care. And for the record, giving Becca her former abuser isn't going to make her like you."

"I don't want her to like me. I just want her to not hate me."

"Never gonna happen. She knows what you did."

"I blame you for that."

"Well, it was, in fact, my fault. So I will accept that blame."

"Lindsay pick a damn birthday present."

"...I want a day off."

"We're flying to Texas tomorrow!"

"That's what I want."

"...fine. Go to the Lounge."

"Yesssss."

One reason why my books are so long is I love to explore the why.

Okay, you like being tied up and pegged in the peach. But why? Don’t just give me the physical reasons. Give me the mental and emotional reasons, too. Give me the drive, the backstory, the development that makes that scene, or that moment, or that argument, or that decision so incredibly important. Give me the reasons, so I can feel it with you.

I recently tore through The Dominance Playbook by Anton Fulmen. It was definitely one of the most useful books I’ve read about BDSM. The chapter on scene craft and planning made a huge difference in the way I think about play, and there’s a bit of a nod to that section in one of Jeff Ludlow’s little lectures to Becca. Fulmen talks about how a single scene can be performed multiple times, with exactly the same components, but the scene will feel different every time based on the energy, how things are said, and what both people are trying to get out of it. The why of the scene is more important than the what of the scene.

And I realized that’s how I write, too.

In January, I wrote a 45k word novella in 11 days that I sat on, and chose not to publish right away. Not because it wasn’t good, but because it was superficial. My alphas and I (y’all know who you are) felt like it was good, and cute, and fun, and very hot, but there was more to it that I hadn’t given myself the time to really dig into.

Now that I’m starting to dig into that story, I’m glad I didn’t just push it out and call it a last minute Christmas Miracle. Because there is so much more to it, and it’s going to be so frickin’ fantastic.

Now don’t get me wrong. I have no problem with superficial and smutty. I have a whole list of recs that are fun, easy, mindless, one-handed reads. I’ve even written and published a few.

But they don’t make my heart sing.

This is all to say, moving forward, you can continue to expect unapologetically long books that demand your attention and stick in your head. At least for the AnchorX series.

And as far as that novella I wrote over January?... I’ll jump into expanding that in a few weeks, once I hammer out a few more details and give myself time to binge-read all the books I added to my TBR over the past few months. You can expect another AnchorX book sometime late October, early November.

One of the reasons this book took me so long to write was I had Benny’s character all wrong.

When I first started writing this book, Benny was one of those characters who I had too many things going on at once, and there was no clear definition.

He was a cocky, bratty, rude, disrespectful little shit, and Becca was going to have to “whip” him into shape. (haha, BDSM pun… Shut up, I’m exhausted.)

But honestly, I didn’t like him. And I knew Becca wouldn’t either. Why would Becca be drawn to someone like that? What was Benny’s draw? What made him who he was?

What made him?

Oh, what made him.

When I finally threw away all the crap and the masks and the lies and got down to the truth of who he was, what he wanted, and what made his heart sing, everything clicked into place.

I had a lot of readers tell me that even though he’s a guy, and even though there are a lot of chapters written from his point of view, they related to him on a very deep, personal level. Because at the end of the day, Benny is a submissive through and through. And there is something really, truly special about a man with a submissive heart.

He’s one of my favorite characters, and he’s going to continue to show up in future books. I also plan to continue to write fun little shorts between Becca and Benny, much like I do Alice and Reuben. Those extras will be live on my website. Make sure you join so you can read.

tinyurl.com/lindsaymurray books2read.com/thegoddess

Becca Huxley. Professional Dominatrix, Domme, and… masochistic slave?

She appeared out of nowhere while I was writing Freedom in Chains (formerly published as “Days Off with Lindsay, Molly’s Story on Literotica). When the door to the dungeon opened and The Goddess stepped out, she was all evil grins, tangible power, and confidence that could take down a country. I was hooked.

In Let’s Play a Game, she was just a name; a filler character with no descriptions other than knee-high boots and rocking hips.

In Ashes of Sin and Stardust, she was a former lover and close friend, and we learn so much more about her. But Ashes takes place in 2016 in the Lindsay-verse. The Goddess goes back in time to approximately 2008.

Who is Becca Huxley?

I won’t spoil anything for anyone who hasn’t read the books. But Becca is an interesting conundrum, because I don’t think she knew who she was at the beginning of this book. I sure didn’t. I had to take that Warrior Queen, the Goddess of sexuality and discipline, the empowered, confident, kind character that I knew from Molly’s book, and figure out who she was before that, and how she got there.

One of the most powerful moments in the book, for me, was when Becca truly embraced herself. Not just her dominance, but her sadism. This single line, those three words, never cease to make goosebumps rise on my skin, no matter how many times I re-read the scene.

Watching Becca Huxley step into her own power, embrace herself, and evolve into a Goddess was such an exciting experience. If you loved her before, I think you’ll love her even more now.

I want you to ask yourself a question. What is Femdom really about?

When you hear the word, the image that immediately comes to mind is a woman in leather or a latex suit, some kind of pain-giving implement, a strict expression, heavy makeup, and long, perfectly manicured nails.

And yes, that pretty much describes Becca’s aesthetic in this book… when she plays.

But, as a good author friend of mine says, “That’s just costuming. It’s not real.”

So what is Femdom about?

Author Daisy Jane made a post during her release of the Wrenched Kings about femdom and vulnerability, and it got my gears turning ( ←see what I did there? Gears? That was clever. Praise me.) You can read it here. (,https://www.facebook.com/authordaisyjane/posts/pfbid0xyUEB5bT2inGJ4b2DzW4b6p2zc4Wbx1zRLbbSgV8PCF1EB3Q1wHVNX9PTk3MKToHl) I had copious conversations with another author friend about the double-edged hypocrisy of the BDSM lifestyle, and yet another about feminine vs masculine energy, and how their submission is different simply because of their energies. All of this got me thinking about the outward appearance vs the truth, and what dominance really means for each individual person.

When I first brainstormed this book, it was all about a boy who discovers submission and resists it until the end. Then it turned into two people who were both fighting for what they wanted, and letting their weaknesses be known.

But it still felt flat. It felt like an excuse to write femdom sex. And I love writing sex, but you know what’s better? Creating a book that people relate to. Something that makes you cheer and gasp and weep and fight and scream. Building a world that makes you feel something real.

I did a lot of reading and research. I watched videos, listened to podcasts, and asked questions. There was writer's block, tears, and scenes that I loved that I had to cut. But I’m very proud of the end result.

This story is about a Domme who fears power, and a male submissive who fears being out of control. It’s about facing those fears, emotional intimacy, trust, growth, and responsibility we have to ourselves to be honest.

I hope you feel something. And I hope it changes you.

Get The Goddess here.

It was a routine Wednesday night. After a long day at work, the men wanted to play with their toys… and us toys were more than willing.

I watched the Dominants whispering to each other, discussing their plans for us. Reuben nodded at Jeff’s quiet whispers, and Jez stood by with a huge grin on her face and a twinkle in her eye, vibrating with excitement.

Beside me, Sanaii shivered in expectation. She wore only panties and a t-shirt, while I had been asked to remain clothed. I noticed her nipples were hard under her shirt. She was excited, probably wet… a phenomenon I only rarely experienced, when the brightest and strongest pain overwhelmed my body. I wondered if I would be hurt hard enough to get wet tonight.

I was on edge, waiting for my instructions. Reuben and Jez approached, and they took Sanaii by the arms and led her to the middle of the room. Stripping her down roughly, they cuffed her wrists to a spreader bar and hung her from a rope on the ceiling, pulling it taunt so she was standing on her tiptoes. She squirmed, naked and excited, anticipating the delicious cruelty about to come her way.

Now that she was bound, I knew it was my turn to submit to whatever they had planned. I turned to Reuben, my Sir, my first true Dominant, and my longtime best friend. He had a look in his eye I knew well. He was about to ask me to do something that would push my limits, but that he knew I could do.

Did he want me to have sex with her?

I would do it happily. Lick her, finger her, fuck her. I preferred sex with women over men, since they didn’t scare me. They were beautiful, and sweet, and soft, and fun to please. They became more beautiful the more aroused they were, and they made the sweetest sounds.

Men were rough, violent, and they grunted like animals. Despite the safety I felt under the protection of my Dom and my Master, most men still terrified me. I tolerated them simply because I was safe in the presence of my two closest friends. Jeff, my Master, and Reuben my Dom… my protectors who guarded me from those who would take advantage of me. In owning me, they gave me safety.

Reuben approached me with slow steps, a riding crop in his hands. I held my chin steady, resisting the urge to lift it in the way my former owner referred to as “haughty.” I kept his eye as I waited for him to lift the crop and strike me, or guide me, or move me towards whatever he wanted of me. Instead, he turned the tool in his hand and presented me with the handle.

Instinctively, I leaned forward and kissed the handle, a deep respect for the tool and for the delicious pain it could bring.

He stroked my hair, and then cupped my chin, lifting me to an upright position. He held the crop closer to me, and my confusion grew. What did he want me to do with it?

“She’s yours tonight, Becca.”

“What?” My voice sounded foreign.

“Tonight, she is your toy.”

“But I don’t… I’m not…”

He lifted an eyebrow as if to ask, aren’t you? “Take it.”

I can refuse.

I had known, from the first day I had done a scene with Reuben Weston, that I had the power to stop a scene. But never in my life had I felt this. As I reached my hand out and took the crop, an overwhelming rush of warmth, confidence, and control burned through my body, settling in the pit of my stomach.

I didn’t just have power to stop him. I had power… over all of it.

Everything.

Her.

I looked up and watched Sanaii’s eyes fill with warmth and eagerness. She had that thing that Dominants seemed to love - unapologetic masochism, honest expressions, and wild, beautiful reactions.

Click. I took a step forward. My heels made a lovely sound against the polished floor of the dungeon. My thighs brushed gently against each other, and the fabric of my skirt swished gently.

Click. Another step, and I took a breath. My body felt hot. Tingly. I was getting closer to her. She squirmed slightly, squeezing her thighs together to relieve the tension between her legs. Her eyes were fixed on me in surprise and excitement.

Click. I felt another hot ripple course through my body, shocking me. I wasn't sure what was happening to me, but my belly flipped, warmth gushed between my legs and flooded my panties, and I wanted to squeeze my own legs together…

Arousal and eroticism had always eluded me. I submitted because it was who I was. It was part of me. It had been for so long, I couldn’t remember what it was like to not submit. I was incapable of living on my own, of making my own decisions. In the past, I had always fought my masters on the principle of the matter, because I remembered what freedom felt like… but I couldn’t stand the idea of actually having it.

But this… this freedom was beautiful. This freedom was safe. Delicious. The way Sanaii’s eyes widened and her lips parted, panting and squirming, anticipating whatever I decided to do, made me want to relish in it. It made me want to do everything.

But I didn’t have the faintest idea what to do.

Could I strike her? Could I hurt her? Did I want to cause her pain?

Was it really pain if the desire for it was making her pussy drip down her legs and squelch every time she squirmed?

My Master sensed my struggle. He sat in a chair a few paces away, comfortable, his single leg propped up on the ottoman, his hands draped over the arm rests, watching whatever was to unfurl. When I looked at him, silently asking for guidance, he smiled, winked, and gave me the smallest nod.

I looked at Reuben. His arms were crossed and he held his chin in his hands, studying me with interest. He wanted to see what I did.

Jez was grinning in the corner. She seemed to have complete and total confidence in me.

They were all waiting for me. They weren’t going to give me a single instruction. They just wanted to watch. They wanted to see what I did.

And Sanaii… she wanted to be touched.

I walked closer to her, my breath coming faster, my eyes scanning her body. Her dark skin seemed to glow in the low light. Plump curves and goosebumps, and raw need.

The crop shook in my hand as I lifted it. Setting it on the back of her neck, I dragged it down, down, so slowly, watching the goosebumps erupt over her skin, hearing a soft sigh escape her lips. The sight and the sound made my breath catch.

I lifted the crop suddenly and struck her hard on the fleshy part of her ass. She let out the prettiest sound I’d ever heard.

Oh.

My eyes flew to Reuben’s, either for reassurance or for conformation. His face didn’t change, but his eyes were dilated, tension radiating off his body. He was completely engaged in the scene, relishing the tension between me and Sanaii.

I looked at her skin again, a blank canvas of velvet black, waiting to be dressed. The world was in my hands when I held that crop. I stroked her skin where I’d hit her, watching her move against me and revel in the feeling of my touch. A huge grin broke out on my face, and I couldn’t stop it.

I get it now.

This power. This control. This absolute freedom to be felt, to be enjoyed. The feeling of being known.

Receiving was a holy sacrifice. But giving?

Giving was to be God.

About The Goddess

I met a wicked older woman with seductive, amber eyes, lips that could kill a man, and a voice that brings me to my knees.

And she wants to play with me.

I know it’s nothing serious. I’m just a way to pass the time. I’m her entertainment, a fun indulgence. But she’s hot, and kinky, and experienced, and I can’t resist her. She gets off on my torture. She teases and scolds, rewards and punishes.

But as her demands become more intense, and her punishment becomes more severe, I start to love her. And hate her.

Because I don’t know if I can ever please her… but I don’t think I can live without her.

The Goddess is a standalone, reverse age-gap, femdom romance. Characters are polyamorous and have multiple partners outside of their relationship. This story takes place within the AnchorX world, and can be read as a standalone. See book page for detailed content warnings.