Anne Russo's Blog

Worth the Risk, my age-gap bodyguard romance, will be free for just one day (12/2) on JMS Books’ website. It will be available for purchase starting on 12/3 wherever books are sold. Don’t forget to check out the JMS Books Advent Calendar daily at the link provided until the 24th! Each day brings a new, never-before-published LGBTQ romance, available for free for one special day.

Blurb:

Aiden Moore longs for independence, a life far removed from his father’s criminal
empire. Malcolm Campbell, his father’s loyal right-hand man and Aiden’s bodyguard, is dedicated solely to his duty. Despite their initial hostility, an undeniable and increasingly volatile chemistry sparks between them.

When his father crushes Aiden’s hopes for a new beginning, Aiden makes the reckless choice to run away. Malcolm, confronted with his boss’s anger, chases after him. When they finally meet at a hotel deep within New Hampshire’s White Mountains, their long-held tension erupts, revealing hidden desires as Aiden and Malcolm face a temptation too great to resist—a forbidden love that might cost them everything.

Excerpt:

Part of Malcolm’s job was to visit Vermont every few weeks and follow Aiden around the campus of the fancy liberal arts college he attended, a place where every building reeked faintly of mildew, and dust, cigars of professors past. As the leaves went from green to orange to brittle brown, and back to green, Malcolm remained his ever-present shadow, never far behind. A situation that didn’t please either of them, though Aiden was a lot more vocal about it.

The last time he’d shown up at his school, right before Aiden’s summer break, Aiden had made his displeasure wellknown.

“Do you have to follow me so closely?” Aiden asked as he broke away from a group of students and pulled Malcolm into a nearby cluster of trees.

Malcolm tried not to think about the way Aiden’s fingers lingered on his arm a fraction too long. Or how the heat of his gaze made Malcolm warm, in a way he had never felt before, had never wanted to feel before.

“Pretend I’m not even here.”

Aiden blew back a lock of his hair, a wayward curl falling in front of his big, amber colored eyes. Pretty as the rest of him, with his pouty lips, and delicate features, the curve of his eyebrows, and the sharp jut of his chin, a strong contrast to his more innocent qualities. Did Aiden know the effect he had on him? On the gaggle of girls, and more than a few boys, hanging on his every word?

“Yeah, as if I could,” Aiden sighed. He sounded far too tired and knowing for someone his age. “Do me a favor and stay away from me.”

Malcolm stepped forward, forcing Aiden to either back up or stand his ground. To Malcolm’s amazement, and growing arousal, he didn’t give a single inch. “If you’ve a problem with me being here, talk to your father. Otherwise, don’t think for a second you can order me around like the rest of your little friends.”

“You know what, I’m not going to stand around and argue with you all day,” Aiden seethed. “Just back off and leave me alone.

As Aiden moved past him, Malcolm caught him by his forearm. Aiden tried to jerk his arm back, but Malcolm held tight. He was walking into dangerous territory too, and he knew it. But in that fraction of a second, all Malcolm saw was the tantalizing shape of Aiden’s smart mouth. The temptation to kiss him was so strong his knees went weak with the urge.

“Asshole,” Aiden sneered as he tore himself free. Yet, his breathing was shallow, labored, and he licked his lips, almost expectant. Almost as if he waited for Malcolm to take the choice away from him. When Malcolm didn’t, he launched into another tirade. “Who the hell do you think you are putting your hands on me? I don’t have time for this.”

He turned back to his friends, but Malcolm called after him. “What?”

“Word to the wise,” Malcolm said. “But you should rethink the clubs you join.”

Aiden paled, and Malcolm was sorry then for the distress he’d caused. He wanted to take it back, but Aiden had to know, didn’t he know, how dangerous all this was?

“Mind your own business,” he shouted before fleeing from Malcolm. “Stay the hell out of my life.”

Shaking off the memory, Malcolm gripped the steering wheel with both hands. His knuckles, bone-white, clenched tight enough to hurt. With only the steady hum of the open road for company, Malcolm followed Aiden as if his life depended on it.

Ian and Adam are back, facing their biggest threat yet! Book 5 of the Dead Generations series, The Dead Don’t Run, is now available, with only one more book to go!

Below is an excerpt from The Dead Don’t Run. You can find the rest of the book at the links below.

****

Over two months had passed since the last time they were together. Now that they were, Ian was at a loss for what to say to him. Remembering the letters they’d exchanged, the words he’d said to no one else, only Adam. Words he meant with all his heart. Yet now, Ian found himself unsure of where they stood.

Ian held the door to their room open for Adam. Adam stepped inside, still silent. The scarred side of his face tilted away from him. Through the cracked window, the wind howled.

Ian shut the door, blocking out the conversational drone of the group nearby.

Their boisterous voices reduced to an indiscernible hum.

When Ian reached to take him in his arms, Adam pulled away. The rejection stung. Adam sat at the edge of the tiny bed to remove his shoes, his jeans, and his T-shirt, stripping down to his underwear.

Adam glanced up to meet his eyes. His scar, a jagged line of twisted pink and red, ran across the left side of his face like an angry river. From the tip of one beautiful green eye to the curve of his perfect lips. Ian had spent so many long, lonely nights dreaming of those lips.

Was it possible that Adam was even more beautiful now? Not despite the scar, but because its existence highlighted all Ian loved about him. His strength, his resilience, and yes, his beauty, a beauty not even the worst evil could destroy.

Under the weight of Ian’s scrutiny, Adam faltered. “You don’t want me anymore.”

Ian knelt before him and took Adam’s hands in his. “I’ll always want you. Nothing’s changed.”

Adam searched his face, looking for traces of sincerity or any falseness. Ian wasn’t sure, but he let him look, though the weight of Adam’s stare left Ian unsure.

“Don’t lie to me,” Adam said so low Ian almost didn’t hear him. “I know what I look like now.”

Ian couldn’t bear it. He took hold of Adam’s face and kissed him, pouring all his longing into the gesture. Ian kissed his lips and his eyelids. He tasted his tears as they fell over the curve of his unblemished right side. Then, as Adam shook and wept in his arms, Ian kissed the length of his scar, one gentle kiss at a time.

“I want you so much,” Ian muttered between kisses. “You have no idea how much.”

Adam shoved his hands away, rising.

Ian turned to go after him, but Adam held him off. “Everything’s changed,” Adam whispered, not looking at Ian, but somewhere else. Somewhere far in the past, where Ian feared he might not reach him.

How could Adam not know how much he meant to him? How could Adam think for even a second that anything could come between them, let alone a scar? A single physical mark of what they had endured, one of many—only, the emotional ones ran darker, bolder.

“No, no, it hasn’t.” Ian took Adam by his shoulders and forced him to look at him. “You’re still the same.”

“I’m not,” Adam insisted with a firm shake of his head. “Whoever I was, that man, he’s gone, and I don’t know who I am anymore.”

Ian kissed his forehead. Shuddering with relief as Adam’s eyes fell shut, and he leaned into Ian’s touch. His hands were on Ian’s waist, stepping into his space.

Ian was hyper-aware of every line and curve of Adam’s body, the mere inches between them a distance too far. But Ian would find a way. A way around all the terrible things they’d done and would do yet. Anything to give Adam a glimpse of the beautiful life still possible. As long as they had each other, they’d figure out the rest.

“Ian —

Ian silenced him with another kiss, and Adam returned it with all the fire and passion they’d once shared. Heat hot enough to burn the world down around them. But Ian no longer cared, because Adam was alive and he was his. For that alone, Ian was ready to believe God might exist after all. His fingertips trailed the rise and fall of goosebumps as they spread across Adam’s skin. Ian kissed him slowly, as if time itself belonged to them, and them alone.

A hazy eternity passed as they stopped to press their bodies close, to feel what they’d been needing for so long. Though Ian burned for him, he didn’t want to rush this; he wanted to savor all that had eluded him these last few months. He wanted to make this night last forever.

****

Want to read more? Check out the buy links below for a detailed synopsis and content warnings.

JMS Books Amazon Amazon UK 

Exciting News! The Dead Generations Volume 1 Box Set is now available. Plus, get ready for The Dead Don’t Run, book five in the series, arriving this August. 

For fans of thrilling, action-packed stories with complex characters, deep emotions, and dark themes. This six-year labor of love is almost complete, with only one book left to go!

Blurb:

Danger and desire collide when a chance encounter between a doctor and an assassin sets off a devastating chain of events.

Bound by a connection that goes back a generation, to the interconnecting lives of their parents, Ian and Adam’s mutual attraction blossoms into forbidden love in this twisted, action-packed series.

This box set contains the first three books: The Dead Don’t Lie, The Dead Don’t Mourn, and The Dead Don’t Dream.

Note: This series contains mature themes, including strong violence, substance abuse, mentions of suicide/suicidal ideation, and a brief flashback of sexual assault. Books 1 and 2 end on cliffhangers, while Book 3 has a happy-for-now ending.

The Dead Don’t Lie 

While young doctor Adam Morrow resigns himself to an uninformed existence, world-weary assassin Ian Abbott struggles with a life he never asked for. When the two strangers meet, the attraction is immediate. And deadly, when Adam walks in on Ian in the middle of a hit. Their dangerous situation spirals out of control once Ian discovers a shocking connection between them, leading Ian to a desperate act: kidnapping Adam. 

Overnight, Adam is torn from his promising career and a family who believes him dead and reunited with the mother he never knew, now the head of a covert group of killers for hire. Forced into joining their ranks, with Ian as his reluctant trainer and handler, Adam must fight to keep his life, his sanity, and his very soul from being swept up in a violent and chaotic world even as he battles his feelings for Ian. For his part, Ian, a man with dark secrets of his own, has a past he isn’t ready to share with Adam, even as Adam worms his way into his life in more ways than one.

As the two grow closer, lines blur—between good and evil, friend or foe, enemy or lover. Someone plots against them, determined to keep them apart. Even if it means destroying them both.

The Dead Don’t Mourn 

Three months have passed since the explosive ending of The Dead Don’t Lie, and Ian and Adam are locked in a tense standoff as they struggle with the events of that fateful night. Consumed with guilt, Ian carries on with his day-to-day existence with little success, while Adam adjusts to his new life as a cold-blooded killer.

But when Adam’s latest target, a crime boss’s beautiful daughter, enters the picture, their tentative truce shatters, forcing Ian and Adam to confront hidden jealousies and not-so-buried desires. 

Yet as Adam and Ian’s desperate situation escalates, they find their chaotic world dealt another heartbreaking blow when tragedy strikes a beloved member of their group. In the aftermath, the devastating event compels Ian and Adam to confront their feelings for one another. A confrontation that will have long-reaching consequences for themselves and the people they care for most.

With sinister forces at work against them, as well as the shocking revelation of their families’ tangled past, will Ian and Adam find their way back to eachother or be torn apart once more?

The Dead Don’t Dream 

After Katherine foils Ian and Adam’s plans for escape, Ian self-destructs, drowning himself in alcohol and murder, while Adam plots his revenge under Katherine’s watchful eye. Determined to keep them apart for good, Katherine takes her schemes one step further, leaving Ian and Adam lost in a world where nothing is as it seems.

Still seeking answers to who betrayed them, Ian’s quest for vengeance leads to an unforeseen tragedy, leaving him more alone than ever. Meanwhile, Adam battles a vengeful face from the past, one who will stop at nothing to claim Ian for himself. Locked in a battle for survival, Adam fights to escape. But when Katherine sends Ian to find Adam and bring him back, their precarious situation takes an even more dangerous turn.

Adam’s journey and Ian’s pursuit lead them on a collision course with the ghosts of their shared and twisted past and, ultimately, each other, leading to a passionate reunion. Yet when the depths of Katherine’s evil plans are finally revealed, Adam and Ian must fight to save themselves and their friends, leading to a devastating and shocking truth. 

Their nightmare is far from over; it’s only just begun.

JMS Books

Amazon

Amazon UK

Goodreads

We’re living in crazy times, my friends, and times are tough for everyone right now. To help, my wonderful publisher, JMS Books, and over 40 fantastic authors are giving away over 100 amazing books!

If you’re a fan of LGBTQ books, don’t miss out! While you’re browsing, I’d love it if you checked out my MM short romances, Love and Larceny and Vows and Vendettas.

Happy reading! 

I’m so excited to share that Love is Free, a charity anthology I collaborated on with JMS Books and many talented authors, is now available! All proceeds will be donated to the ACLU, an organization that does incredible work defending the rights of all Americans, particularly those in marginalized communities. If you’re able, please consider supporting their vital work by purchasing a copy at the links below.

JMS Books

Amazon

Amazon UK

Before you go, I’d love for you to check out an excerpt from my short story, “Guys Like Us,” featuring Ethan and William from Love and Larceny and Vows and Vendettas.

****

William jerked down the visor in frustration, annoyed by the bright sun beaming off the recent snowfall blinding him. It’d been over three hours now, with Ethan in the driver’s seat and William in the passenger. The two coffees William bought (a peace offering) stood between them. Ethan hadn’t even touched it, a silent but siren-loud act of rebellion.

“Look, I get it. You don’t like me.” Ethan ignored him, which only made William
angry. “I don’t like you much either, by the way.”

“I’m glad we established that,” Ethan replied, his attention glued to the shopfront. He reached for the notebook on the dashboard and jotted another observation. None of which he shared with William.

William had met no one like Ethan before. Pretentious and difficult, he was also
smart as a whip and knew it, too. To make matters worse, he was gorgeous, with thick, tousled hair, a perfect face, and dark blue eyes. He also had an amazing body and an ass that William would follow into hell. But as pretty as he was, William wasn’t about to embarrass himself like a kid with a crush, just to get a taste. And besides, Ethan never spoke to him unless he had to. William, the chatty guy that he was, resented him for it.

“How long do we have to sit here?” William grumbled. He hated being this close to Ethan—close enough to catch a whiff of his fancy shampoo. Wasn’t it enough to irritate him to hell and back? Did he have to smell good enough to eat, too?

Vows and Vendettas, the sequel to Love and Larceny, will be free for one day only (12/10) on JMS Books’ website. It will then be available for sale everywhere else on 12/11. Don’t forget to visit JMS Books’ advent calendar at the link above every day until the 24th for a fantastic, never-before published LGBTQ romance, free for one day only.

Blurb:

Sequel to Love and Larceny

After a daring art heist reunited ex-lovers and partners in crime, Ethan and William, they find themselves living a quiet life in Phoenix, on the run from a vengeful crime boss, and working to rebuild their lives and their relationship.

William, hoping to make their love official, decides to whisk Ethan away to the sun-kissed shores of St. Barts for what he hopes will be the romantic proposal of a lifetime. However, their chance to reconnect and reaffirm their love turns into a deadly fight for survival and freedom when a mysterious stranger emerges, determined to settle the score.

Now William faces an unimaginable dilemma: to protect the man he loves and secure their future, he must make a terrible choice. One that could derail their lives forever and change everything.

Amidst an uncertain future, will this be William’s one chance to propose to the love of his life before it’s too late?

Excerpt:

Ethan kicked off his shoes and poured himself a glass of wine. Not because William suggested it, but because he needed to relax and calm his racing thoughts. Still, he was far too preoccupied with William’s whereabouts.

Ethan finished two glasses while he showered and dressed for bed. He wiped down the kitchen and ran the vacuum. Finally, he gave up on trying to stay busy and settled on the sofa to wait.

It was close to 11 P.M. when William returned. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask him where he’d been even before his key hit the lock. Ethan was ready to lie into him but stopped when William stepped in the door, carrying a bouquet of roses.

“These are for you, baby.”

Ethan took the items, eyeing them cautiously and wondering what William had done now. Was this a peace offering? A way to soften the blow of whatever crazy scheme William planned to convince him to take part in?

“What’s this?”

“Presents.”

“I see that.” Ethan carried the flowers into the kitchen in search of a vase. “Why are you giving me presents?”

“Does there need to be a reason?”

Ethan bit his tongue as he filled the vase with water and arranged the flowers in it. It was hard to stay mad with the intoxicating scent of fresh roses filling the kitchen. Still, Ethan eyed him with suspicion as William helped himself to the rest of the left-out wine.

“Does the florist only open after dark?”

William laughed and nodded toward the card still laying on the counter unopened. “Don’t you want to see what’s inside?”

“I’m not sure.”

William’s face fell. “I know I’ve given you plenty of reasons not to trust me, but this isn’t one of those times. I swear.”

Ethan sighed and reached for the envelope, tearing it open. Two plane tickets and a brochure fell into his hand. “A vacation?”

“St. Bart’s next month. You have some time off soon, and so do I, and well, I thought you’d like to get away.”

“This was what you were doing right now?”

“This guy I work with, his wife, is a travel agent, and she got us a good price on the room and the tickets. Trouble was, I had to meet her off hours, so her boss didn’t find out about the discount, and she’s all the way downtown, and—”

“Earlier?”

“I can’t tell you that part yet,” William said with a sheepish grin. “That’s a surprise.”

Ethan’s cheeks warmed as he recalled how silly he’d acted. He placed the card on the counter and gave William a reassuring kiss, one full of apology. “I’m sorry I gave you so much shit earlier.”

“Don’t be. It was worth it to do this for you.”

Ethan turned over the brochure. “This place looks amazing.”

“We have a suite, with a private terrace and everything.”

“Can we afford this?”

“Sure, I booked it during hurricane season when prices are good. So, as long as the weather stays clear, it’ll be perfect and a lot less crowded.”

“I can’t believe you did this,” Ethan said. “Really, I can’t. I’m kind of stunned.”

“As long as you’re happy, stunned works, too.”

“I’m thrilled.” Ethan pressed against him, eliciting an appreciative groan as he wound his arms around William’s neck. “Let me show you how much.”

Wow, time sure flies when you’re having fun! Or, in my case, when you allow your imaginary friends to run around unsupervised for three years. In all seriousness, it’s hard to believe that my three-year publishing anniversary came and went in March. I meant to make a post then, but got sidetracked by other projects and new imaginary friends. Story of my life!

It still hasn’t quite sunk in that it’s been three years since I published my first novel, The Dead Don’t Lie. Since then, I’ve written and published three more novels, which is just crazy to me.

While I’m by no means, the fastest or most prolific writer ever, I’m really proud of what I’ve achieved since, and everything I’m working on going forward.

Writing the Dead Generations series has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, and I wouldn’t be as happy or as complete creatively if this story, and these characters didn’t enter my life when they did. I’ll always be grateful for this time and this experience and that I took a chance on an idea, and made it a reality.

I’ve so many big plans for the future. Big plans that once would have seemed impossible to me but don’t now, and I’m more eager than ever to see what the future has planned for me.

I’ve lots more books planned, but I’m determined to get the last two books of the Dead Generations series out as quickly as I can. There is still a lot more story to be told, and I can’t wait to tell it. Hopefully, I’ll be finished with the series by early 2025. Fingers crossed!

If you want to learn more about the series, please check out the following links.

Goodreads
Amazon

Thanks so much for all the love and support. Here’s to three more years and lots more to come!

More Deer
A Dead Generations Bonus Scene 

Word Count: 2,687

Blurb: Ian takes Adam hunting, and Adam’s simmering rage reaches a potentially disastrous boiling point.

Authors Note: This scene takes place between the first book, The Dead Don’t Lie, and the second book, The Dead Don’t Mourn. A month after the events of Book 1. It has been edited to the best of the author’s abilities and may contain typos/errors. 

December 2016

For a month after Edmund’s murder, they left Adam alone. He laid in bed for days at a time, silent and furious, drinking anything within reach to cope. Desperate to stave off the memory of Ian pulling the trigger. Of Edmund, a man once vibrant and beautiful, now devoid of light. Forever.

Katherine summoned him to her office to let him know he’d had enough time to mourn. The implications of Edmund’s death were clear, step out of line, and no one you love is safe. Adam would not forget that lesson again.

There would be more lessons to come, more lessons in death. Today was one of them. All morning, the sun tried to break through the overcast clouds, but the few rays that escaped blinded as they reflected off the piles of freshly fallen snow.

Adam averted his eyes from Ian as they drove. The first time they had been alone together since the week before Edmund’s death. Adam remembered the kiss they had shared, and the conflict he had seen in Ian’s eyes, even though Ian had already known what he would do to Adam, to Edmund.

Adam gazed out the window at the passing landscape. Miles of trees and snow-covered farms whizzed by. The desolate scenery mirrored Adam’s broken heart as they drove from the secluded mansion and deeper into the woods.

Was this Adam’s turn to die, murdered in cold blood? Was Ian driving him to his death? The thought was oddly comforting to Adam. He wanted this over. There’d be no need to hurt anyone else if he was dead.

I thought I was in love with you and now look what’s happened.

Adam glanced at Ian in the driver’s seat. Ian was stony-faced and silent, his jaw clenched tight and his knuckles white on the steering wheel.

Adam’s hatred grew more intense with each passing day. The sick feeling in his stomach reminded him of the harshest of all truths: none of this would hurt so much if he hadn’t cared so much in the first place.

The memory of Ian haunted him, day and night. The brief time they had shared forever etched in his mind, and he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Ian’s body pressed against his, the way Ian looked at him with such awe and desire. It was all gone now, but the memory of it promised to stay with him forever. Ian’s presence was a constant reminder of what could have been, if only things had been different.

For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, ‘It might have been’. 

How true, Adam struggled to remember the author. Ian would know, but Adam had no plans to ask him. Or anything, for only hearing his voice was enough to bring those tortuous thoughts rushing to the surface. 

Katherine had orchestrated this. Ian had been too weak to stop her. She had done it, and Ian had gone along with it, and nothing could bring Edmund back.

Nothing could ever bring them back to that one night they had spent together, a night when all the pain, anger, and fear melted away. It hurt, and it hurt even more because of what Adam knew deep down.

He was still in love with Ian.

Adam hated him. He wanted him dead, but Adam still loved him, and if he could still love him, what did that say about Ian? Or about himself?

****
Adam didn’t utter a word the entire drive. His silence filled the car’s cramped interior and seeped into Ian’s bones. Rather than dwell on it, Ian busied himself counting the barns they passed as the snowdrifts piled higher around the edges of the roads.

The farms and quiet villages gave way to thick forests and denser snowfall. Ian had spent a fair bit of his childhood in these forests. With Rhys, who taught him how to shoot and kill and how to hunt.

Katherine was the one who suggested Adam needed help with his rifle training. Though he’d gotten better with handguns, Adam’s initial revulsion of firearms lingered. Why Katherine deemed it appropriate for this to occur a month after Edmund’s death at Ian’s hands was anyone’s guess.

Adam still refused to speak to him beyond one-word answers. When Ian told Adam to be ready at 5 A.M and to dress for the outdoors. Adam didn’t argue. Instead, he offered a curt, ‘fine’ and slammed the door in his face.

He’d been on time, too, dressed and waiting for Ian when he knocked on his door. Without a word, he’d followed Ian outside to the car. It’d been Ian who explained to him what the day would entail. He received another ‘fine.’ He didn’t speak again to him until Ian asked him if he wanted to stop for breakfast.

“I don’t care,” he said this time, gifting Ian three words instead of his usual one. A minor victory.

Upon reaching the edge of the state forest, near the remains of an abandoned farmhouse, Ian pulled over.

Adam seemed resigned, as if he expected Ian to march him into the woods and leave him for dead.

Ian shuddered, convinced that Adam would not only have accepted his fate, he’d have welcomed it.

Adam followed him outside into the snowy wilderness, a barren and harsh expanse of white that stretched for miles in every direction. Ahead of them, a cluster of dark woods loomed beyond the dilapidated farmhouse, which was abandoned and long forgotten.

Ian disappeared into the trunk of the car and returned with two rifles. 

Ian handed him one of them. Their fingertips touched, and even through the thick gloves they were wearing, Ian felt a jolt, a painful and magnetic reminder of what they had once shared. If Adam noticed, he said nothing, and Ian, his jaw tight, couldn’t bear to look him in the eye to find out. Still, he noticed that Adam’s hand quickly pulled away, as if Ian’s touch burned.

“What are we killing today?” 

The sound of Adam’s voice took Ian aback, as if he had never heard it before. But it was the tone of his voice, the flatness of it, that unsettled him.

“Deer.” 

“Oh,” Adam said. “Is that all?”

****
Ian felt uneasy standing so close to Adam. The inches between them might as well have been miles. The air was thick with the weight of unspoken words.

Ian showed Adam how to unload and reload the weapon. How to hold it, and aim, going through the motions on autopilot. For he could dismantle and put this rifle back together in his sleep.

Adam listened attentively, but said nothing. He was a quick learner, as Ian knew. Ian handed the rifle back to Adam and motioned for him to follow him, showing him where to step and how to use patience and stealth to their advantage as they searched for a target.

The walk exhausted Ian, and Adam fared no better. Snow always made travel by foot more difficult, but the cold and the quiet worked to one’s advantage. If you had the stamina for it.

In the distance, between their shallow puffs of breath, a sudden shock of color burst through the trees. A deer, fully grown with antlers, stretched heavenward. A magnificent creature unaware, but alert as it sniffed the air, looking for them.

Ian reached out and stopped Adam in his tracks. He pointed to the animal, which was nosing around in the frozen ground for anything edible buried in the snow.

Adam looked from Ian to the animal, and let out a low, shaky breath. He stiffened his shoulders and aimed as Ian instructed. The unaware animal in his sights seconds away from its own death carried on without worry or fear.

Adam fired. 

The animal cried out, rearing back with a violent jerk. It took off running in the opposite direction. Blood spraying as it scampered off, ducking under the cover of snow heavy trees as it disappeared from sight.

“Shit,” Ian grumbled. “I’ll get it.”

From behind him, Adam’s faint panting followed, the sound of his boots trudging through the heavy snowfall. 

“Wait here.” Ian took off after the injured animal, tracking it through the woods with the droplets of blood it left behind.

It couldn’t have gone too far. Adam had clipped it right across the belly. A mortal injury. It should have bled out by now. Ian was certain he’d find it soon, wounded and near death.

Even as a child, when Rhys had taken him hunting, he’d never batted an eye in putting down an injured animal. Though he’d balked at the waste.

“Shouldn’t we eat it?” He once asked Rhys, who laughed in response.

“Probably, but don’t worry. There are lots of hungry creatures out here in the forest. He won’t go to waste. I promise.”

Sure enough, every spring, Ian found picked-clean bones lying where the snow had melted. The other animals wasted nothing in the wilderness. Everything returned to the ground in the end.

Ian picked up the pace, keeping his breath even, his footfalls light. He didn’t want to spook the animal, but time remained a factor. From the sun’s position, the day was growing later, the shadows darker and lower. As soon as the sun went down, the temperature would plummet below freezing.

Ian gave up on finding the animal, admiring its tenacity, as some creatures wanted to live even more than you wanted to kill them.

He turned back, but when he reached the clearing where he had left Adam, Adam was gone. Ian froze as a tree branch snapped behind him. He listened intently, his finely tuned hearing picking up the sound of footsteps, faint but ominous.

He spun around to find Adam standing behind him with his rifle aimed at Ian’s head.

The gun became irrelevant until Ian saw Adam’s face. The twisted and terrible mask he wore. One by one, a thousand emotions crossed over it. Pain, fear, love. But it was his anger that overwhelmed Ian. Its intensity, the fire behind it even in this mind-numbing cold.

Adam shook, trembling as his emotions washed over him. The rifle wavered in his hands. His eyes were glassy, wet with tears. His mouth twisted open and closed as he struggled with the heavy words he couldn’t say. No scream at Ian. Ian saw it all. The raw and impotent fury Adam fought to hold in check.

I deserve it. We both know that. I deserve to be left in these woods for someone to find in the spring. A discarded skeleton with no name.

Ian’s breath stalled in his chest. This was it, the end he’d been waiting for since the night he’d murdered Edmund. A punishment to fit the crime. Adam’s eyes bore into him, full of fury and pain. Ian wanted nothing more than to look away from the raw emotion, but he forced himself to meet that piercing gaze. 

Ian lowered his own weapon, clasping it between one gloved hand as he spread his arms out in a gesture of surrender. His eyes never left Adam’s face. That beautiful, maddening face that lived in Ian’s dreams and haunted his days. For him, he’d take this bullet, and every one after.

I never wanted this. I never wanted to turn you into me. 

Ian advanced one step at a time, getting closer and closer. Adam’s eyes widened as Ian drew near. He took a step back, but then stopped. He shook his head as if to gather his courage and stand his ground.

Everything I touch, I destroy.

Ian stopped a foot away, the weapon muzzle right over his heart. The press of Adam’s finger, and it would all be over, and then they’d both have peace.

“Go on,” Ian said. “I won’t stop you.”

Those words seemed to wake Adam from his daze. He blinked once, twice, as a tear ran down his cheek and disappeared. He stepped away from Ian and lowered the weapon.

“It’s freezing,” Adam said as if he hadn’t contemplated killing Ian in cold blood. “I want to leave now.”

Ian held his breath, his ribs aching from the strain.

Adam gave him one last impossible-to-decipher look and pushed past him, towards the car.

Ian paused, his heart racing painfully and his breathing unsteady, acutely aware of the danger he had just escaped. The realization hit him – he had come dangerously close to death. He couldn’t help but wonder what had prevented Adam from pulling the trigger. Whatever it was, Ian didn’t deserve such mercy. If he were braver, he might have ended it himself, sparing Adam the trouble.

Ian trailed Adam back to the car. Adam got in the passenger seat without saying a word, the rifle leaning against the trunk. Ian put away both weapons and slid into the driver’s seat. Adam shook in his seat as Ian fiddled with the heat. Adam’s pensive profile gazing out at the forest as if he were searching for something, or someone.

“I didn’t find the deer,” Ian said as the silence between them became unbearable. Ian wasn’t sure how much more either of them could take.

“There’s always more deer,” Adam said.

****
The ride back was silent.

Adam wanted Ian to explain himself, but he also needed his silence more. If Adam started screaming, he feared he wouldn’t be able to stop. All of his pain and anger would pour out, flooding the car and overwhelming them both. Those feelings would destroy not only Ian but also what remained of Adam. The pieces of himself he had not yet given to Ian, and now never would. He would rather die than let that happen.

The answer had seemed so clear to him, easy. Shoot Ian where he stood. Right in his traitorous heart, and leave him to rot in the snow until the animals picked off the rest of him.

Adam would be free from the man who had ruined his life and twisted it into a dark, macabre parody of itself. He would be free from the man he had become, one who laid awake at night wanting someone who had only brought him pain. 

Yet, he couldn’t.

Ian’s expression was one of regret, which was clear on every line of his face. His eyes filled with brutal understanding. His expression mirrored Adam’s own hurt.

No matter what. Adam still loved him, and Adam knew then, from that one look, Ian loved him, too. But they’d never be together again. They’d live and suffer and remember. For the rest of their lives, however long that turned out to be.

As much as he tried, Adam was not Ian, and he couldn’t cut out his heart, and bury it in the snow, and pretend none of it mattered., when it meant everything to them both.

The memory of that night would haunt them both because it was what they deserved.

“How long does it take? How many?”

“What?” Ian asked, as if it startled him to hear him speak.

Adam hadn’t meant to say those words out loud. “How many deer did you kill before you didn’t care anymore?”

Ian remained silent for a long time, as if he were considering the question. Both of them were aware of what Adam was truly asking him. The painful implication of it. “I don’t know,” he said, adding, “A lot.”

“I thought so.”

Adam said nothing else. The lump in his throat grew larger. He struggled to keep his emotions in check, lest they explode out of him in a way that he wasn’t sure he or Ian would survive. He had come so close already. Anything to end this misery. Anything at all.

He glanced in Ian’s direction. His pensive expression pinched with despair, as if those thoughts pained him, too. At last. Adam understood the depth of Ian’s remorse. He hadn’t allowed himself yet to think of that. The proof. He was ready for Adam to kill him. 

For now, that would have to be enough for them both.

New Release – The Dead Don’t Fall – Dead Generations Book #4

I couldn’t be happier to share this exciting news with you all.

Back in 2019 when I began working on this series, I had no idea where it would take me. But I’m so glad I stuck with it, because Dead Generations has become so very special to me. I love these characters, Ian and Adam, and I’m so proud of the story I’ve been able to tell with them.

I hope you’ve enjoyed the ride so far. I know it’s been a wild one, but I hope you’ll stick with me for the rest of the series, only two more books to go!

Thank you for your support! It means the world to me. Below is the first chapter of The Dead Don’t Fall. You can find the rest of the book at the links below. Enjoy!

The Dead Don’t Fall
By Anne Russo

Chapter 1
November 2017

Early morning and the diner was nearly empty of customers. A few scattered patrons, truck drivers, sat alone in open booths. A few more posted in various spots around the counter. Their eyes were heavy as they stuffed in mouthfuls of
eggs and swigged endless cups of coffee. Occasionally they turned to take in the sunrise through the plate glass windows. Fiery shades of red and orange, spectacular as the sun rose over flat, dusty plains.

Adam sighed and reached for his mug, his second cup, in fifteen minutes. He grimaced at the taste of burned, bitter coffee grounds, and added more sugar. Across from him, Ian raised an eyebrow but said nothing, going back to his omelet.

Adam observed him, fascinated, as he cut his food into bite-size pieces, dabbing his lips after each mouthful as if he were at a fancy dinner party. His eating habits were likely a holdover from meals with Katherine, scrutinizing his every move. Still, such fastidiousness seemed strange from a man six-three, covered in scars and sporting an extra day’s worth of stubble. Which, if Adam were to admit, he loved the way it looked, loved how it scratched his bare skin raw when they made love. Adam’s cheeks burned as he squirmed in his seat, impossibly hard in seconds.

“What is it?” Ian sat his fork next to his plate and looked him over.

“Nothing. I’m just feeling anxious.” Adam pushed around the mushy oatmeal he’d ordered.

Over a week had passed since they’d fled the mansion, leaving behind a pile of bodies in a blazing inferno. It already felt like a lifetime ago. They’d crossed the Texas border the night before, rising earlier this morning to make time. Ian planned to be in El Paso by the evening at the latest. There, Adam hoped to find their friends, safe and sound, waiting for them. After that, Adam cared little about what happened next. He left the rest up to Ian, who kept reassuring him he had a plan. Yet Ian seemed less and less sure every time he said it.

“Do you really trust this person? Gael?” Adam worked up the nerve to ask Ian last night as they fell asleep.

“What’s that?” Ian sounded sleepy as he traced a lazy line across his cheekbone.

“How do you know him?”

Ian scoffed. “I’m surprised you haven’t asked before.”

“He’s an old boyfriend, isn’t he?”

“No, not a boyfriend,” Ian sighed. “It lasted a week when I was twenty. I haven’t seen him since.”

“He’s going to help us get new identities?”

“That’s the plan.”

“Are you sure he’ll remember you?”

“Yes.”

Adam snorted. “It must have been some week.”

“He’s Hector’s cousin. I met Hector and Kalifa through him.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s quite the story,” Ian’s voice drifted away as he spoke. “Remind me to tell you about it later.”

“Okay,” Adam returned, his eyes growing heavy.

Finally, they slept, Adam for once not troubled by nightmares. Nightmares that had plagued him far too frequently in the last several months. Adam suspected Ian had nightmares, too. He seemed to cope with it by staying awake until near dawn. So, it surprised Adam when Ian fell asleep quickly. He slept four hours a night, if that.

“Adam?”

Ian said his name as if he’d been calling him for a while, getting Adam’s attention.

“Yes?”

“I asked if you wanted something else?” Ian’s eyebrows knitted with concern. “You’ve barely eaten a thing.”

“I’m not hungry,” Adam said and gulped more of his coffee instead.

“I don’t blame you.” Ian glanced at the soggy breakfast on Adam’s plate. “Are you sure that’s even edible?”

Adam laughed out loud, surprising himself.

Ian returned his grin. “Really, though, try to eat. You need to get your strength back.”

Adam sighed, ready to argue again that he wasn’t hungry. His stomach was too twisted, too full of nerves to eat. Besides, Adam didn’t need Ian to point out he was still far too thin. He’d lost not only weight but muscle definition and while Adam had always been slender, he was skin and bones now. Adam saw it in Ian’s eyes when he undressed. The sadness when confronted with the reminders of what they’d done to him while they were apart.

“Maybe I’ll grab a muffin for the road.”

The worry on Ian’s face subsided. He glanced into his empty cup. “More coffee?”

He shrugged. “I’m good if you are.”

“We’d better head out. I’ll take care of the check.”

They’d found money in various stashes around the mansion, cash Ian put aside over the years. The rest of Ian’s money Katherine confiscated when she discovered their plans to run away. Still, they’d found close to fifty thousand, which they divided and hid in the trunk of their car. They’d also taken Katherine’s jewelry, which they planned to sell off later. More than enough to start new lives under new names, free from their dark pasts.

Adam nodded. “I’ll be right back. I need to use the restroom.”

On his way, he passed a young couple in a booth. A small child seated beside a young woman, and the child’s enormous blue eyes, tracked Adam as he passed. Adam caught traces of the parent’s conversation. A heated argument about having to stay with his mother. This was his fault. He was the reason they were broke and stuck in Texas, having to play nice with a mother-in-law she despised.

Adam pushed open the door to the men’s room. The bathroom was blissfully empty but grimy and unkempt. Adam took a second to appreciate the silence, but with silence came the memories. Adam squeezed his eyes shut, his palms sweaty as he banished the memories to the back corners of his mind. A
dusty hidden crawl space reeking of decay, and overrun with secrets. There, he kept the worst of them; but they remained, threatening to spill over without warning.

Adam did his business quickly, not wanting to spend more time than necessary in this filthy bathroom. Crude graffiti covered its sad off-white walls. The floors were sticky and covered in used paper towels from the overflowing trash can in the corner. Adam shuddered, horrified they’d eaten here.

Adam washed his hands with the scant soap remaining, doing his best to avoid his reflection. The bags under his eyes coupled with the pale, thin line of his lips frightened him. His was the face of a man haunted by hungry ghosts.

He left the bathroom and made his way to their table, pulled from his dark thoughts by a commotion near the front counter.

“Sir?” a waitress said, frantic and concerned, wavering a touch into total panic. “Sir? Are you all right?”

An enormous crash followed as if the contents of the entire counter came off, clattering to the floor. A heavy thud, as something or rather, someone large hit the floor.

“Dear God!” the waitress gasped. “Somebody help him.”

Adam dashed towards the counter in record time to find an elderly man, one of the diner’s truckers, on the ground. His hand clutched to his chest, struggling to rise as his skin turned the sickening color of ash.

The waitress and several diners hovered nearby, trying to figure out what to do as the man fought to rise. His wide-eyed stare was one of abject horror as he heaved and gasped for one more breath. It didn’t look like he’d get it.

Adam pushed aside the waitress, the curious bystanders, and went into doctor mode. “Did someone call 911?” he shouted to the waitress, who startled at the sound of his voice but rushed to obey.

The man on the ground tried again to stand. Adam laid a steadying hand on his arm, urging him to lie back. The man’s eyes rolled toward the ceiling, blind-white, as his body slackened.

Adam dove into action and started chest compressions, but despite each slight inhale and exhale, the man was already gone. The victim of a massive heart attack. A widow maker. The type of cardiac arrest that hits hard, fast, and deadly.

Over Adam’s shoulder, a dark shadow loomed in his periphery, swooping in fast. Ian yanked him to his feet, pulling him away.

Adam turned, shoving him off, but the wail of sirens racing up the street stopped him in his tracks. Ian’s face was a maelstrom of conflicted emotions. Chief amongst them, though, was anger.

“Is he going to die?” The waitress dropped to her knees in front of the dying man.

No one, not even the most talented doctor in the world, could save this man, but that didn’t stop Adam from wanting to try. He hated Ian then, especially when Ian dragged him through the crowd before he could answer. Ian tossed a twenty onto the counter as he slammed Adam through the glass doors and out
into the parking lot.

Ian flung open the passenger side door and hurled Adam into his seat. Two police cars and an ambulance flew into the parking lot, skidding to a halt beside them. They ignored Ian getting into the driver’s side as they dashed into the restaurant,
medical bags in hand. Police chatter followed them as they pushed their way inside the building.

Ian didn’t so much as glance at Adam as he put the car into reverse and peeled out of the lot. Tires squealed as he righted the car, pushing the speedometer up to sixty in his efforts to get away in a hurry.

For the rest of the morning, Adam refused to speak to him. Fine by Ian. He was pretty pissed off himself. Still, the tension in the car grew until Ian didn’t think he could take another second of the silence. Ian jerked the wheel, skidding the car to
an abrupt stop.

Adam threw him a dirty look, an expression somewhere between not now, and you have no idea what you’re in for.

Ian shut off the engine. Silence crept into the space between them as Adam turned away, flinching when Ian placed his hand on his shoulder. The gesture stung.

Ian cleared his throat, trying to stay calm. “You shouldn’t
have done that.”

Adam whipped around in his seat. “You’re right. I probably shouldn’t have, but I’m sure as hell not going to watch someone die.”

“Yes, you are. You have to.”

“I’m not you, Ian. I can barely live with myself as it is.” His voice grew quiet, dropping into a whisper. “Don’t you get that? I have to balance the scales.”

“You can’t,” Ian said. “Not anymore. So stop playing God.”

“Taking lives. Saving lives. You play God, too, you know?”

The fierceness of Adam’s gaze turning Ian’s spine to jelly. “You’re right, but getting us across the border in one piece is the only thing that matters now.”

Adam opened his mouth but shut it, tossing his head against the headrest in frustration.

“Unless you want us to go to prison for the rest of our lives. No more fucking heroics. I mean it.” Ian reached across the seat for his hand as Adam looked
away. It surprised him when Adam let him hold it. “I’m trying to protect you.”

“I know.” Adam wasn’t looking at him, but out the window instead. The tiny ranch-style houses in the distance. Rows of them, the backyards full of swing sets and trampolines. Signs of everyday life and normal families, worlds away from their own.

“I can’t afford to care about other people, just you and me. That’s it.”

Adam turned to him. “Our friends?”

“Of course, I didn’t mean them,” Ian answered quickly.

“You want me to forget, pretend I’m—” He shook his
head. “Never mind.”

“No, I don’t want that.” Ian ran his fingers through Adam’s hair. It had grown longer, curling around his ears and brushing against his collar. It made him look younger, more innocent. “I’m sorry.”

A dark shadow crossed Adam’s features, his mouth twisted with disappointment. A gesture, however brief, which reminded Ian of the woman neither of them would ever escape, though she was dead and gone.

“Stop saying you’re sorry,” Adam said, knocking Ian’s hand aside. “Just drive. I’ll get over it,” he added, in a voice that told Ian he wouldn’t.

They pushed through the rest of the drive with only another stop along the way. Adam insisted he wasn’t hungry, but Ian turned in at a roadside deli, anyway, buying them each a sandwich and a coffee. Ian stared Adam down until he’d eaten at least half of the turkey grinder in front of him.

Adam tried not to let his nagging irritate him, further souring his already bleak mood. The one growing darker the farther they got from the diner and closer to El Paso. While excited to find their friends, meeting another of Ian’s former lovers wasn’t as thrilling of a prospect. The fallout from his tangle with Brandon Cleary was still fresh in his mind. If Ian was so concerned about his thinness, he should take it up with Brandon.

You’re being irrational. He hasn’t seen this man in over a decade. So what in the world do you have to be jealous of?

Once full dark, they finally caught signs for El Paso, another fifty miles to go. As if sensing Adam’s nervousness, Ian took his hand, rubbing his knuckles in a way Adam found both comforting and annoying. Still, he didn’t move his hand away,
only squeezed it tighter.

Once off the highway and past the city, Ian drove towards the edge of town. A place where the lights of downtown met the stars of the desert. Beautiful, barren, and quiet, save the hum of insects. Gravel crunched under their tires as they pulled into the lot outside a rundown motel shaped like a horseshoe. The
centerpiece, a kidney-shaped pool, murky blue in the moonlight.

Ian shut off the engine, turning to him. “Wait here.”

Adam frowned. “Why?”

“Because. I don’t know what I’m walking into. Humor me.”

Adam opened his mouth to protest, but Ian stopped him with a firm kiss. “I’ll be back in ten minutes. Less,” he insisted.

Adam didn’t enjoy waiting in the car, like a little kid or the family dog, but the worry lines around Ian’s eyes and mouth gave him pause. He looked exhausted, worn to the bones. Adam didn’t want to add any more stress to the situation since the air between them was still electric from their earlier argument. He nodded as Ian kissed him again and climbed out of the car. He made sure he had his piece loaded and ready before sliding it into the back of his jeans.

****

Want to read more? Check out the buy links below for a detailed synopsis and CW warnings.

Publisher Amazon Amazon UK 

Are you ready for more Ian and Adam?

The official release date for Dead Generations Book 4, The Dead Don’t Fall, is January 13th!

I’m incredibly proud of this book, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. So mark your calendars, and get ready for a thrilling adventure!

Blurb:

After the explosive events of Book 3, Ian and Adam find themselves thrust into a new world of danger and deceit as enemies, old and new, threaten their fragile bond.

As they travel from the desolate deserts of the American Southwest to the vibrant chaos of Mexico City, dark forces test their relationship to the breaking point as they desperately try to outrun their tortured pasts, all in pursuit of a happiness that seems just out of reach.

Together, they must rely on each other in ways they never thought possible. Amidst heated and complicated emotions, they grapple with the stark contrast of light and darkness within themselves and each other. To survive, they must do more than simply trust; they must surrender their deepest fears and embrace the vulnerability that love demands. However, the path to true love has scars that run deep and secrets that threaten to shatter everything.

In this thrilling continuation of love and sacrifice, Ian and Adam learn that the strength of their love may be the key to overcoming the perilous obstacles they face. As they embark on a journey where betrayal lurks around every corner and sacrifices are inevitable, they come to realize that some loves are worth risking everything for.

Can their love be enough to overcome the menacing shadows threatening to tear them apart forever? Or does fate have other plans for them?

Trigger Warnings: This book includes scenes of violence and mentions of suicidal
ideation, alcohol abuse, physical and emotional trauma and other dark and potentially disturbing themes including a character dealing with past sexual trauma.

Excerpt:

They parked on the base of a rolling hill. Ian disappeared to the trunk and returned with a bottle of wine, two glasses, and a blanket. Adam followed Ian up the winding trail to the top of the hill. The only sounds were birdsong in the distance and the buzzing of insects. Below them, the city of El Paso spread out, sprawling and beautiful, twinkling with a thousand lights. The air was chilly, but the fading sun warmed Adam’s face, reminding him of the lazy summers of his youth.

Ian spread out the blanket and patted the spot next to him.

Adam sighed, joining him. “If you think you can charm me into agreeing to your asinine plans, you’re wrong.”

Ian worked off the cork of the bottle. “Wine?”

Adam rolled his eyes and reached for the glasses Ian had brought. “Fine, I might as well be drunk for this.”

“For what?”

“For you, trying to convince me that working with a drug cartel is an ideal career move.”

“A job. Not a career. We’ve had sketchy jobs before.”

Adam puffed out his cheeks, mulling it over. “We also had friends then, and Katherine’s bankroll. Now all we have are a couple of handguns, a bag of tacky, overpriced jewelry, and quickly dwindling cash. Nothing that makes me feel secure about going into something like this.”

“You won’t have to do anything.”

“And let you do this on your own? Are you serious?”

“I won’t be alone. I’ll have Hector with me.”

“You don’t want me to come?”

“No.”

“No?”

“I’m not letting anything happen to you.”

“A little late for that, don’t you think?” Adam didn’t mean to sound accusatory. Nor as bitter, but the past loomed over both of their shoulders, waiting and watching.

Ian took a sip of his wine, and then a bigger one. “All that was over once we left the mansion.”

Adam made himself comfortable on the blanket, warming underneath him from the hot sun and sipped in silence. It seemed Ian wanted to say more, but unlike Adam, Ian chose his words carefully.

“It’s not ideal. I get that. But I need you to understand why I’m doing this. Why, it has to be this way.”

“I shouldn’t have walked out like that,” Adam said. “I’m sorry.” He reached across the blanket to take Ian’s hand, squeezing it.

Ian returned the gesture. “I have no right to ask this, but…” His voice trailed away. He wouldn’t look at Adam as he spoke, but Adam didn’t have to see his face, to hear the pain in his words. For all his teasing, Ian brought him to this spot for a reason, and it had little to do with the gorgeous view. Or any attempts at seduction. After all, they didn’t need to leave their room to kiss and make up.

“I wish you’d trust me,” Ian finished, and this time he turned to him, rubbing his fingers over Adam’s knuckles. “I don’t deserve it—”

“I do trust you,” Adam admitted. “I do.”

But Ian’s face told him he didn’t believe him. He let the matter drop and
instead refilled their glasses. His expression remained pensive as they watched the sun sink below the horizon.

Bright streaks of brilliant red and orange danced across the valley below them, painting the world the color of flames, a scorching inferno. Adam had never seen a more beautiful sunset than the one he saw that day, and Adam imagined what they’d experience once they reached Mexico. He’d never been out of the United States before, but now they’d be heading into an unknown country, a new world, provided Ian’s plan worked.

“But you’re scared…” Ian added.

“Of course I’m scared. You’d be scared, too, if you had any sense. But that doesn’t mean I want you to do this without me.”

Ian sighed, turning away from Adam. His expression was hard to read in profile, but the unease between them was palatable. Adam wanted to defend his position, insisting he did trust Ian, trusted him with his life, but the words wouldn’t come. Because deep down, he didn’t trust any of this. Ian, nor their newfound freedom, terrified any day he’d wake up back at the mansion, still a prisoner.

Adam scooted closer to Ian’s side. Without a word, Ian slung his arm over his shoulder and drew him closer so their heads rested together. Close enough for Adam to feel Ian’s warm breath against his face, the rise and fall of his ribcage as he inhaled, exhaled.

“Why is this so hard?” Adam hadn’t meant to say those words out loud, but they came out before he reconsidered them.

Ian pulled back, taking his free hand and stroking it along Adam’s chin. “Because it’s supposed to be.”

Adam searched Ian’s face for answers.

“Life, or else none of this has any meaning.”

“What does?”

Ian smiled sadly as he leaned in and brushed his lips against Adam’s. “This. Us.”

Ian’s fingers lingered on the side of his face. His kisses were slow and sweet as Adam’s flesh broke out in goosebumps. From the dropping temperature or Ian’s proximity, Adam didn’t care. Instead, he focused on the building heat between them.

I love you, Adam wanted to tell him, biting the words back. I love you so much. But Adam didn’t have to say anything, and neither did Ian. Their love was unspoken. For a moment, Adam almost pitied the next person who dared to come between them.