Ethan Hunt's Blog

*Spoiler alert for Chapter 17: Lightning Crashes

A unique, one-time occurrence

This is another chapter that didn't have a name until I happened upon a song I hadn't heard in a very long time. It was an obvious fit. There is a "circle of life" element to the chapter, and the song very obviously carries this same sentiment.

Lightning crashes

A new mother cries

Her placenta falls to the floor

The angel opens her eyes

The confusion sets in

Before the doctor can even close the door

Lightning crashes

An old mother dies

Her intentions fall to the floor

The angel closes her eyes

The confusion that was hers

Belongs now, to the baby down the hall

- Live, Lightning Crashes

A very emotional chapter, laced with hope, requires a very emotional song laced with hope.

Honestly, I can't remember if I had the ending to this book thought out before I began writing it. And I've received some feedback that the ending leaves people hanging a little bit. In the grand scheme, this is okay because I may bring more closure to Dustin and Holly's story in a follow-up book (I am always thinking about this stuff). Plus, the story is meant to be about Dustin and Damon's journey, not about Dustin and Holly working through things.

What's great about this song is the slow burn build-up in the music. It crescendos softly with the initial iteration of the chorus.

Oh, now feel it coming back again

Like a rolling thunder chasing the wind

Forces pulling from the center of the Earth again

I can feel it

- Live, Lightning Crashes

When Holly shows up, Dustin can feel gravity again. His feet are underneath him, where they haven't been for some time. One door closes after he experiences a terrible loss, but another door opens back up.

And, of course, there is little Wally. I like to think of this as a small plot twist, in that Holly is looking to the healing power of a dog ("off screen"), as she has many times in the past, and perhaps this is the thing she and Dustin have in common that they can build on again.

I read a book about writing recently, and it says that a story can only be about one thing. Gone to the Movies is definitely about the healing power of dogs. If I have to distill the story down to a one-liner, this is the one-liner. Embarrassingly, without doing it on purpose, I think I captured it perfectly in this ending. I can live with that.

Full circle

And, of course to end this blog series, we must return to the beginning of it. Those of you following since the beginning will remember that my first post focused on the idea that this will someday be a movie. Of course, every movie needs a great song for the credits, and for Gone to the Movies that song is The Masterplan, by Oasis.

I added this song to the soundtrack on Spotify last week; so hopefully some of you have listened to it by now. Oasis was a pretty prolific band during the nineties, and this is one of their lesser-known tracks because it is a b-side. It's not from one of their big commercial albums, but I think it is one of the best songs they've made.

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See kids, back in the nineties, bands would release something called a single. Singles would be released on something called a CD. Typically, bands would include unreleased tracks along with the single to entice people to buy the single in addition to the full album! This song was released as a b-side on the Wonderwall single, then eventually on a compilation album.

I have no idea what the song was meant to be about, but I take from it a meaning about letting go of the past, and enjoying the present, because none of us know what it (life, etc.) is really all about.

Take the time to make some sense

Of what you want to say

And cast your words away upon the waves

Sail them home with acquiesce

On a ship of hope today

And as they land upon the shore

Tell them not to fear no more

Say it loud and sing it proud today

And then

Dance if you wanna dance

Please brother take a chance

You know they're gonna go

Which way they wanna go

All we know is that we don't know

How it's gonna be

Please brother let it be

Life on the other hand

Won't make us understand

We're all part of a masterplan

- Oasis, The Masterplan

Life is a journey, and sometimes all we can do is forge ahead. This definitely captures Dustin's story.

Thank you

Again, if you've been reading these posts since the beginning, thank you. This has been one of the most interesting things I've ever attempted. I thought I was a disciplined person, and then I tried to write a weekly blog post! The dedication that writing, marketing, and selling a book requires can't be overstated. It is a lot of work, for very little return (financially).

I definitely didn't do this for money though. This has been a learning experience for me, first and foremost. It is also about bringing attention to mental health and animal rescue in the US. I hope that goal is something I achieve better as I release more stories. My prequel to Gone to the Movies will definitely still center on these same two topics, but in a completely different way.

So with that, I'll sign off from this blog series for now. Future posts will slow down a bit, but you can expect some book reviews, insight into my writing process, and teasers for my current project, Ghost of an Angel!

Until next time, see you at the movies.

Soundtrack (thus far): Alive - Pearl Jam Across the Great Divide - Semisonic Bonus Track: Interstate Love Song - Stone Temple Pilots Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town - Pearl Jam Bonus Track: Rockin' Chair - Oasis Calling Yesterday - The Nixons Down - Stone Temple Pilots Hand Me Down - Matchbox Twenty Work Out Better - Rusty So I Need You - Three Doors Down Don't be Long - The Tories If I Run - Semisonic Follow - Semisonic Bonus Track: Happy - The Tories Bonus Track: Song for You - Fuel She's Got My Number - Semisonic Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks Hideaway - Fuel Leave - Matchbox Twenty Sunday Morning Call - Oasis The Fall - The Nixons Gone to the Movies - Semisonic Lightning Crashes - Live The Masterplan - Oasis

Follow as we build the soundtrack on Spotify!

Give: Sierra Fire Resiliency Fund Sonoma County Resilience Fund Sonoma County Humane Society

A book report. But why?

Time for a break from writing about...my...writing...to bring you my review of a great book from another independent author!

I met Mr. B. Fox on Twitter after taking notice of his book cover for Paper Castles. The cover caught my eye and intrigued me. They say don't judge a book by its cover, but the reality is it is how most of us initially "feel" a book; before we've turned it over to read the description.

Before I read the description, I also noticed the book receiving some praise on Twitter. This praise finally pushed me to read the description, and it also intrigued me.

A quick aside about the writing community on Twitter. I've never jumped headfirst into a more supportive group of people. I didn't go there expecting to "make friends" and buy independent author books, but it felt right, and so I have!

Honestly, picking up a book like this was a great decision, because I learned a great deal about how to write good literary fiction. I was not an expert in genres when I released my book, but after reading this, and spending time with other authors on Twitter, I realize that my books belong in the Literary Fiction genre. I still prefer that there is an Animal Fiction genre (and there is on Amazon), but I also think that understanding my target genre will help me focus my stories a bit better.

So anyway, we were booked to go to Hawaii, and I thought, what better time to try a new book than while stuck on an airplane for five hours? Unfortunately, I caught Covid (even though I am vaccinated), and we had to cancel that trip.

Instead of reading it in Hawaii, I brought it with me on a little anniversary getaway to Huntington Beach and dug into it there. After promising to send B. Fox a picture of his book in Hawaii, I had to send him one from Huntington Beach instead, as a consolation prize.

Paper Castles

When other writers get stuck, the number one piece of advice I dole out is, "just tell the story." It sounds so simple, but when someone is trying to perfect their craft., sometimes the storytelling gets lost, and the reader ends up stuck in a sea of unnecessary complication.

B. Fox does a great job of simply carrying the story forward with each passage in Paper Castles. The amount of inner-dialogue gives the story a "slow-burn" feel at times, maybe even laborious. But after reading the story, this all fits with the "slow-burn" of the main character's life.

While I was sometimes annoyed that someone could have as much self-hating internal dialogues as the main character James, I ultimately realized that was the point. In hindsight, as a reader, I felt the dread that James would feel encountering life circumstances that are very mundane to me in my real life.

But, then again, I've been very lucky to never experience a loss the way he did (I won't write much more about this to avoid spoilers). His loss and grief turned his world upside down, and the book is about his deterioration; until he finally reaches what might feel like "rock-bottom".

Millennials

Initially, the book feels like a love-letter to disappointed and disenfranchised millennials everywhere. If one believes the press and social sciences about millennials, one could almost even describe James's characterization as trope ridden. Having worked with and managed many people from this generation, however, I don't buy into all that nonsense.Millennials know how to feel, and they are enlightened to the world's machinations better than any generation before them. I had to learn how to feel after becoming an adult, and recognizing that, I realize how important their contributions to society will be.

With all that said, James is a human first, and this is just a story about him making sense of his grief-stricken world. At times, I wanted to shout at him to just tell Karen how he feels. I wanted him to find his self-confidence and have a happy ending so badly. But, again, in hindsight, I think this is what Fox was trying to do with that slow-burn unfolding of events. Force the reader to rage at James to "man-up" (a phrase I detest, BTW), just as James rages at himself in the mirror.

He methodically drags the reader into James's personal hell of isolation, confusion, and disappointment, and it left me thinking about the story long after I finished the book.

Plot Twist

I definitely won't spoil it here, but in Part 3 of the book, we finally understand the broken soul that James's father has become. Again, grief and loneliness have gotten the better of a man, and he's thrown away all of his fatherly responsibilities to wallow in his grief and regret.

You can feel a resentful undercurrent throughout the book every time James encounters his father, and I personally knew something major would happen eventually. When it did, however, both instances didn't feel forced. The first explosion felt predictable in the moment, but it was perfect for the story, and a sign of Fox's careful iteration of that storyline.

The second blowout I didn't see coming. It is well done, and just nails down that this story is more of a tragedy than anything.

Characters

I loved the supporting cast in this book. I've met girls (yes, girls, not women, because I was in high school or maybe college) like Karen, and Fox nails her. From the smoking, to the coffee, to the choice of words, to the way she sits on the porch. I could see her sitting there, storytelling, vividly in my mind. This is good literary fiction. I've had a crush on this exact girl a few times.

Fox also used some deeper characters, like Karen's family, his workmates, and so forth. Like all good "flat" characters, he injected them in the right amounts when needed, and didn't leave me feeling like I was missing something.

Conclusion

Aside from a very small number of typos, and the storyline about Karen's grandfather not landing with me at times, this was a great read. I am impressed by the talent of this first-time self-published author, I learned from him by reading this, and I'll be excited to see what he comes up with next.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Soundtrack

You know a story has stuck with you when you find yourself driving around thinking of songs that describe different parts of the book. This happened to me, and as I did for Gone to the Movies, I've put together a soundtrack for Paper Castles. Maybe if Fox ever turns this into a movie, my music ideas will make the cut.

Finger Eleven - Awake and Dreaming Live - Shit Towne Finger Eleven - Thin Spirits Incubus - Wish You Were Here The Tories - All the World's for Sale Live - Waitress Lenny Kravitz - Again Nine Inch Nails - Every Day is Exactly the Same Dirty Heads - Notice Finger Eleven - Living in a Dream Pearl Jam - Release Pearl Jam - Nothingman Matchbox Twenty - I Will Collective Soul - She Said Finger Eleven - Not Going to be Afraid Semisonic - Lightning

Playlist on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3CzVin2DZ7ButP0YqHF9j1?si=69df5cb5c7724dfc

Quick explanation of why each song was chosen:

James is daydreaming constantly. So much so that he forgets his shoes half the time he goes outside. This song felt like a somber way to open the soundtrack to a somber story. It also tiptoes into James's relationship with his father. James hates his town, but it is central to the story, so what better song that Shit Towne by Live! James's fathers' theme song. Go read the lyrics and you'll see why. James misses his mom. Need I say more? The job James has. This is a very obscure song from a band I loved in the nineties, and I think it represents James's reservations about his work quite well. James meets Karen at the diner, and forgets to tip her! One of my favorite songs, and it describes James's fascination with Karen. Again with the monotony of his job. One of the chapters is literally named "Seven Days of Monday Morning." Back to his infatuation with Karen. Now he's daydreaming again...but about Karen...of course. James reckons with his relationship with his father. James's father finally psychologically beats him into submission, and there isn't much left. Karen takes care of James. Theme song for Karen's grandmother. The suit! James finally shows some courage. Song for the epilogue.

I hope you enjoy the soundtrack and pick up a copy of Paper Castles!

*Spoiler alert for Chapter 16: Gone to the Movies

Well, we finally made it

This is the most important chapter in the book, and it was my favorite to write. I felt all the emotions while writing this one.

Elation, as the most vivid imagery in my head became real on the page.

Excitement, as I knew I was close to completing my first story. Book. Novel.

Sadness, because of what transpires in the chapter.

I've met countless indie authors on Twitter, and one thing is clear: it is normal to cry while writing our stories! I can admit, this chapter got to me in multiple ways. I've lost a pet before, so I felt that. I've felt helpless when trying to console my son before; so, I felt that too. I've also panicked when I momentarily lost my son before.

Readers have told me they cried during this chapter, and of course, this means a lot to me. Hitting people "right between the eyes" of their heart is the goal, every time.

Before I dive into some of the imagery from the chapter, I want to thank all of you who read this far in my blog. The numbers have been pretty low, which is a little deflating. I've been late with the past six or seven posts, which disappoints me. But I figure these are "evergreen" posts, and I hope other readers find them in the future.

So, anyway, thank you. Thank you for reading my little story, and for taking an interest in what drove me to write it.

Analysis

Well, I hope that by now some of you brave souls looked up and listened to Gone to the Movies. If you did, and if you heard the lyrics at all, you probably noticed at least one of the bits of imagery I used in this chapter.

Now the rain comes down the windows

And it drops onto the forehead of the waiting boy

He surveys his rental kingdom

And he wonders if he's really lost his one joy

Another fool would go down to the only place she ever went to lose herself

She's gone to the movies now and she don't need your help

Now the rain turns into snowfall

As the city sky reflects the silver street below

...

- Semisonic, Gone to the Movies

Damon, alone in the rented backhouse with Hope, obviously closing in on her last breaths. Rain bearing down outside. I didn't have him look out a window to have the rain drop on his forehead, but the goal wasn't the describe the events of the song exactly, it was to build a world from the inspiration the song gave me.

If you know the next events of the chapter, one must wonder if spiritually Hope was already back in her place of comfort; "The only place she ever went to lose herself". Again, we see her staying with Damon until she can't stand it anymore. With her last bits of energy, she flees."Now the rain turns into snowfall". This was a big one for me. There's no metaphor here, or anything clever I was trying to do on purpose. I just loved the imagery of footsteps in snow, snow piling up on the old, busted Pontiac, and as I was writing it ultimately became a proper distraction causing Damon to lose track of Hope.

Just like a 10-year-old kid to be distracted by fresh snowfall.

Dads will be dads

Next, Dustin is angry at the site of the front door of the backhouse being left open. How many of you grew up with a father who obsessed over the door being closed quickly so that you didn't "heat up the whole world"!?! I know I did. Worrying about this would definitely be one of my initial reactions!

All you parents out there...ever lost your kid? Even briefly? Ugh...the panic. I know you could feel it during this scene. Even in a relatively contained environment, any normal parent would freak out when they found out both Damon and Hope are not in the backhouse. I really tried to convey this feeling in this scene.

And then they're in the junkyard, again.

After a few moments to think about it, Damon is apparently able to think again. Crying, he pushes his face into Hope’s neck. He suddenly turns around and grabs Dustin’s hand. Dustin pulls him out of the car and hugs him harder than he can remember ever doing so before.

This is another favorite passage of mine from the book. This is the type of visual I think would be very powerful in a movie. Let's hope that happens someday!

Soundtrack is done maaaan

I went ahead and added the final three songs to the soundtrack on Spotify. Though I don't think it will be long until I post my final blog post, which will cover Chapter 17, Lightning Crashes, I figure it is better for everyone to have the complete soundtrack now. You've been patient enough.

So, of course, Gone to the Movies is finally added to the list, and I will cover, *gasp*, big surprise, Lightning Crashes and The Masterplan next time. If you've ever listened to nineties music, you have heard Lightning Crashes, and know how it is represented in the book! The Masterplan is a fun one most of you haven't heard...so stay tuned!

Until next time, see you at the movies.

Soundtrack (thus far): Alive - Pearl Jam Across the Great Divide - Semisonic Bonus Track: Interstate Love Song - Stone Temple Pilots Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town - Pearl Jam Bonus Track: Rockin' Chair - Oasis Calling Yesterday - The Nixons Down - Stone Temple Pilots Hand Me Down - Matchbox Twenty Work Out Better - Rusty So I Need You - Three Doors Down Don't be Long - The Tories If I Run - Semisonic Follow - Semisonic Bonus Track: Happy - The Tories Bonus Track: Song for You - Fuel She's Got My Number - Semisonic Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks Hideaway - Fuel Leave - Matchbox Twenty Sunday Morning Call - Oasis The Fall - The Nixons Gone to the Movies - Semisonic Lightning Crashes - Live The Masterplan - Oasis

Follow as we build the soundtrack on Spotify!

Give: Sierra Fire Resiliency Fund Sonoma County Resilience Fund Sonoma County Humane Society

*Spoiler alert for Chapter 15: The Fall

It’s mid-October and leaves in the trees are beginning to yellow and fall to the ground. Dustin can’t remember the change of seasons ever being so obvious or beautiful. At home, the home he still hopes to return to, roads, sidewalks, leaf blowers, and street sweepers conspire to rob people of the joy of autumn.

This is one of my favorite passages in the book. It's at the beginning of this chapter. If I am being totally honest, this chapter has some opportunity where I could have "decompressed" the story a bit though.

I learned a lot while writing and publishing this book. I've learned more while marketing the book. I'll continue to learn how to write well by reading books by others. I realize now that I missed the opportunity to tell al lot of "stories within the story" in this book. That's okay. This was meant to be a learning process, and it's still a good story.

I think I've mentioned before that I'll probably release a "2.0" version of the book someday. A version with more exposition through small stories. Probably after the prequel is released. Maybe a hardcover version? I think that would be fun.

Anyway, this chapter begins with a number of overlooked "stories within the story" I could have told: Damon in school, Damon bonding with Hope some more, or delving into Dustin's character arc a bit more.

Most writers say you never stop thinking about what more you could have done with a story, and this is very true. The cool thing about digital books, and being self-published though? I can do whatever I want. Release a new version. Smush this book together with the prequel for one giant epic. Whatever.

The Song

I referenced a band called The Nixons in a previous post, and they're back with a song that ended up being the title of this chapter, The Fall.

Is this the way do you recall any of this

Do you know where we're going

Can you see what's ahead, can you make out a path

Can we keep our footing

If you keep me awake and you can show me the way

I might sometimes lead

But for now for the fall can you promise that someone will catch me

- The Nixons, The Fall

If the lyrics for this song aren't a letter from Dustin to Holly, trying to reach out and understand what's happening to them, I don't know what is. Are they splitting up? Are they going to find their way forward together? If one of them slips, what happens then?

It just so happens to also describe the season we're in at this part of the story. How convenient for me.

This chapter sets up a scenario with Dustin and Melissa that's been building in the book. They obviously enjoy each other's company, but it's always been a friendly relationship. One that's well within platonic bounds.

Dustin goes just to the edge of seeking more from the relationship, but pulls away. Was he about "to slip", or "lose his footing"? I hope readers feel just a minor amount of suspense in these moments. Did I set up Melissa's character as a love interest for Dustin? I am pleased with this not being clear to the reader.

Drop a comment about this though! Is it annoying that I strung this along with no "payoff"? I want to know what readers think! Don't forget about Twitter too.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the song, and come back next time for the most important chapter in the book.

Soundtrack (thus far): Alive - Pearl Jam Across the Great Divide - Semisonic Bonus Track: Interstate Love Song - Stone Temple Pilots Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town - Pearl Jam Bonus Track: Rockin' Chair - Oasis Calling Yesterday - The Nixons Down - Stone Temple Pilots Hand Me Down - Matchbox Twenty Work Out Better - Rusty So I Need You - Three Doors Down Don't be Long - The Tories If I Run - Semisonic Follow - Semisonic Bonus Track: Happy - The Tories Bonus Track: Song for You - Fuel She's Got My Number - Semisonic Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks Hideaway - Fuel Leave - Matchbox Twenty Sunday Morning Call - Oasis The Fall - The Nixons

Follow as we build the soundtrack on Spotify!

Give:

Sierra Fire Resiliency Fund Sonoma County Resilience Fund Sonoma County Humane Society

*Spoiler alert for Chapter 14: Sunday Morning Call

Relationships

Have you ever had a bad day with your significant other, and then later or maybe the next day thought, "what the hell was that all about?"

Well, this is sort of what is going on in this chapter. Dustin is describing an "argument" to a somewhat objective listener in Melissa, and she's like, "you call that a fight?" This causes Dustin to think again about how he is feeling.

How people are working through a relationship is relative. There will always be challenges, but something that feels terrible to one person may look like a cakewalk to another. Part of Dustin's journey is finding that objective voice in a friend to help him see that talking about the struggles with Holly means they still care about their relationship.

The Song

This is another chapter that was named as I was writing it, after I decided on the theme and setting for it.

The idea of a weekend breakfast in a diner with a friend is something most people will appreciate, and if they are like me, it provides a sense of warmth and familiarity. The sound of plates clinking in the background, the coffee cup staying warmed-up due to good service, and good conversation.

It's like a therapy session, and everyone I know has been there a time or two. It reminds me of the opening and ending scenes in Swingers! Yay for more nineties references.

Side note: sadly, Cafe 101, where the diner scenes in Swingers were filmed, closed down during Covid. I've been there a couple times, once hungover (how fitting), and I was pretty bummed to hear that news.

ANYWAY...this chapter is named after an Oasis song, Sunday Morning Call. As has happened with a few songs in the soundtrack, I didn't realize the relevance of the lyrics until after I had selected the title for the chapter.

And in your head do you feel

What you're not supposed to feel?

And you take what you want

But you don't get it for free

You need more time

'Cause your thoughts and words won't last forever more

And I'm not sure if it'll ever work out right

But it's OK

It's all right

- Oasis, Sunday Morning Call

Not only do the lyrics reference Dustin struggling with the thoughts he has, but also in this scene Melissa drops an extremely subtle hint that she is interested in Dustin as more than a friend. This too could be applied to the lyrics.

I'll always wonder if I should have written more scenes with Dustin and Holly working through things, especially to give Holly's perspective. I probably will in a 2.0 version of the book someday. Maybe in a hardcover?

Or, in the screenplay!

Until next time, see you at the movies.

Soundtrack (thus far): Alive - Pearl Jam Across the Great Divide - Semisonic Bonus Track: Interstate Love Song - Stone Temple Pilots Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town - Pearl Jam Bonus Track: Rockin' Chair - Oasis Calling Yesterday - The Nixons Down - Stone Temple Pilots Hand Me Down - Matchbox Twenty Work Out Better - Rusty So I Need You - Three Doors Down Don't be Long - The Tories If I Run - Semisonic Follow - Semisonic Bonus Track: Happy - The Tories Bonus Track: Song for You - Fuel She's Got My Number - Semisonic Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks Hideaway - Fuel Leave - Matchbox Twenty Sunday Morning Call - Oasis

Follow as we build the soundtrack on Spotify!

Give:

Sierra Fire Resiliency Fund Sonoma County Resilience Fund Sonoma County Humane Society

*Spoiler alert for Chapter 13: Going to the Movies

OK, fine.

Well...I am going to give in and add a song this week. This chapter begins with Dustin continuing to think about how difficult it is for him to talk to his wife; especially about something so important as Damon going missing. This is a very important aspect of the story.

A great song by Matchbox Twenty fits here, I think, and I've always thought the opening lyrics to the song hit pretty hard for anyone who's had trouble getting through to their partner in a relationship.

It's amazing

How you make your face just like a wall

How you take your heart and turn it off

How I turn my head and lose it all

- Matchbox Twenty, Leave

This is the challenge with loved ones with anxiety. Their fears become your fears, because their reaction to their fears is going to disrupt your life and your plans. To support them, you have to listen, and not try to fix them, even when they seem irrational. Unfortunately for Dustin, its evolved into keeping things, his thoughts and feelings, from Holly.

Dustin isn't a sophisticated guy. He is a thinker, but with limited means for understanding these complicated issues. Remember too: it is the mid-nineties. It wasn't so easy to just go search on the internet to quickly learn about something. Really, all he knows is what Holly relays to him from her doctor.

Mirror, mirror

I again use a reflection of a previous passage in the book to open this chapter. Previously, Damon wakes up in the junkyard with Hope next to him. This time, it is Dustin waking up. Compare the beginning of Chapter 12 'At the Movies' to the beginning of this one, and you'll see the similarities.

It’s late, Dustin thinks.

He pulls the blanket over his shoulder and rolls from his back onto his right side to curl up a bit more. As he drifts off to sleep again, he feels something wet on his face. He awkwardly wipes at it with his left hand and then tucks the hand back under the blankets to keep it warm. Again, he feels something wet rubbing up against his face.

I like this sort of thing. Again, I like to find ways to make readers feel like there is a rhythm in what they are reading; a sense of comfort and familiarity. Anyway, let me know in the comments or on Twitter if you noticed any of this on your own!

Easter Egg

I doubt anyone out there is a big enough fan of Semisonic or the song Gone to the Movies to pick up on this, but this chapter is where at least one Easter egg from the song is placed.

Any other fool would be out on the roadway

Trying to spot her rusted Pontiac

When Dustin gets to the junkyard, he notices the Pontiac emblem on Hope's little home of a car. Story inspiration comes from all over the place.

Favorite quotes

I am realizing as I promote my book that it's fun to pull my favorite lines from the story and share those with people on social media. I tend to gravitate to lines that tug the heart strings or quickly immerse the reader in that part of the story.

He looks away from Damon, trying to hide his emotion, and wipes at his face with his left hand. Damon notices his dad fidgeting.

“You okay Dad?”

“Yeah, buddy. I just miss your mom,” he says, trying not to break down.

“It’s okay to cry, Dad,” Damon says as he stares at Dustin’s face.

Dustin laughs a small laugh. As he wraps his left arm around Damon to hug him, he says, “I know, buddy. I know.”

I can remember my dad crying a few times growing up. At least two of them were when we lost pets. Once was when papa (my mom's dad) died. We didn't talk about it afterward, but just seeing him cry was a profound moment for me as a child.When I've struggled emotionally in front of my son, I try to talk to him about it. I think one of the best gifts we can give our kids is the tools necessary to process their feelings. When did I cry in front of my son? When we watched E.T.! LOL. And, of course, when we lost our pets.

I hope he remembers those times when I was vulnerable, and knows how to help someone else who's vulnerable as he grows up.

Until next time, see you at the movies.

Soundtrack (thus far): Alive - Pearl Jam Across the Great Divide - Semisonic Bonus Track: Interstate Love Song - Stone Temple Pilots Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town - Pearl Jam Bonus Track: Rockin' Chair - Oasis Calling Yesterday - The Nixons Down - Stone Temple Pilots Hand Me Down - Matchbox Twenty Work Out Better - Rusty So I Need You - Three Doors Down Don't be Long - The Tories If I Run - Semisonic Follow - Semisonic Bonus Track: Happy - The Tories Bonus Track: Song for You - Fuel She's Got My Number - Semisonic Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks Hideaway - Fuel Leave - Matchbox Twenty

Follow as we build the soundtrack on Spotify!

Give:

Sierra Fire Resiliency Fund Sonoma County Resilience Fund Sonoma County Humane Society

*Spoiler alert for Chapter 12: At the Movies

OMG

Wow. Just now, as I typed the name of this chapter for the umpteenth time, I realized that it is the same as the very long-running movie review show with Siskel & Ebert!

This is cracking me up. All my clever attempts at thematic chapter names, but the most obvious one in the book, staring me right in the face, went right over my head. Oh well. This makes for good blog reading, now doesn't it?

Sometimes stories write themselves, and I am beginning to feel this way about blog posts too. Whether researching bands from 5 years ago, remembering why I wrote certain things in the book, or now finding Easter eggs I didn't intend to plant, I am having a lot of fun sharing this all with you.

I hope you're getting some enjoyment from it too.

Again

This chapter is yet another that I really looked forward to writing. This is where Damon finally sees Hope in her home, in her element, watching movies!

The idea of the light from the screen flickering in Hope's eyes is something I envisioned after I began writing the book, but I loved this visual so much, I used it twice in the novel: once in the chapter "Old" with Dustin and Damon, and a second time in this chapter with Damon and Hope.

I enjoyed using these mirroring devices in the storytelling as I wrote the book. I doubt readers notice these things explicitly, but I hope it creates a sense of familiarity and comfort for the reader at a subconscious level.

We also see Hope make the decision to go home with Damon instead of trying to stay in this place she thinks of as home. This solidifies the bond they've developed, setting up the rest of the story.

Busted old table

A scene that snuck up on me in this chapter is Dustin sitting in Dora's kitchen, lost in his thoughts. I enjoyed describing Dora's kitchen, again trying to reinforce that rustic old farmhouse aesthetic.

He looks back down at the kitchen table. Like the rest of the kitchen, the table is extremely old. It is a sturdy wooden table, no doubt repaired many times.

But, more importantly, we have Dustin thinking, and maybe overthinking, how he should approach his wife with about this situation. If you've ever been in a relationship with someone who has anxiety, much of his thought process will seem familiar to you.

The entire reason Dustin and Holly have taken time apart is distilled in this scene. If he's hesitating to tell her that their son is missing, to protect her from her own feelings, how can they keep going? Lucky for Dustin, Melissa and her brother show up with Damon moments later.

I also dropped a little plug in here for the El Camino Mike (Melissa's brother) drives. I always thought those were cool when I was a kid, and my best friend's dad always talked about one he owned when he was younger. He's who I learned some construction skills from. So, again my influences swirl together to form a little Easter egg...for myself. It's an Easter egg for me.

Don't worry

As I mentioned last time, we have a few chapters to get through before the final songs are added to the soundtrack. But, I promise you, the soundtrack ends on some amazing music. So hang in there.

Until next time, see you at the movies.

Soundtrack (thus far): Alive - Pearl Jam Across the Great Divide - Semisonic Bonus Track: Interstate Love Song - Stone Temple Pilots Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town - Pearl Jam Bonus Track: Rockin' Chair - Oasis Calling Yesterday - The Nixons Down - Stone Temple Pilots Hand Me Down - Matchbox Twenty Work Out Better - Rusty So I Need You - Three Doors Down Don't be Long - The Tories If I Run - Semisonic Follow - Semisonic Bonus Track: Happy - The Tories Bonus Track: Song for You - Fuel She's Got My Number - Semisonic Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks Hideaway - Fuel

Follow as we build the soundtrack on Spotify!

Give: Sierra Fire Resiliency Fund Sonoma County Resilience Fund Sonoma County Humane Society

*Spoiler alert for Chapter 11: Lost

Slight change of plans

Dang. As I approached this blog post, I realized that I don't really have songs for the next three chapters!

*Gasp*

It's okay...our soundtrack ends on such a strong note, I can live with this gap. I'll be thinking about songs I might have missed for these chapters though. I don't quit easily, and this is just how my brain works.

Also, these are, I think, three of the strongest chapters in the book. As I reread and edited the book, there was quite a bit I had to clean up and change in the first half. I didn't have nearly as much to modify by this point in the story.

As a new writer, this makes sense, because by this point in the book, I have settled-in on the voice of the narrator, the style of the storytelling, and the characterization. If one doesn't have these things figured out by chapter 11 of a story, it's probably time to stop and rethink some things!

In any case, this stretch of chapters is a fun part of the story where the reader gets to see the same situation from two different points of view: Dustin's and Damon's. I knew I would use this storytelling device in parts of the book, and it is largely why I chose to use third person omniscient for narration.

Credit to my high school English teachers (Mr. McGarrity, Mr. Furnas, and Ms. Kellis) that I even remember those terms and what they mean!

Lost

Were you ever lost when you were a kid? Get separated from your parents or older sibling while at the store, or in a museum? I remember what this felt like. And, as a parent, I know how rough this can be on the adults in the situation.

I remember being lost in the Smithsonian museum in Washington DC. I was maybe only 6 at the time, but I am pretty sure I got separated from my family, and had to ask a security guard for help.

I also remember losing my mom in a Gottschalks one time (remember that department store, California people?).

I just remember instantaneous panic. In both cases it was very brief, but to a child, minutes can feel like a lifetime. And the fact that the Washington DC trip was like 35 years ago, but I still remember? That tells you something about the impact this has on a kid.

I think for Damon, in this story, his concern was more about getting in trouble. He knew where he was, and how to get home, so no major panic. But I also wanted to demonstrate how safe Hope makes him feel. So comfortable that he would fall asleep in an abandoned junkyard.

Short & Sweet

Well, that's it for this week. No songs, and not much to delve into as far as influences on the story.

One update I'll provide is I am having to delay any book-signing events due to the pandemic spiking again. This is obviously a bummer, but we've got to keep each other safe! Boy, someday it will be weird to come back and read this and see references to the pandemic.

Until next time, see you at the movies.

Soundtrack (thus far): Alive - Pearl Jam Across the Great Divide - Semisonic Bonus Track: Interstate Love Song - Stone Temple Pilots Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town - Pearl Jam Bonus Track: Rockin' Chair - Oasis Calling Yesterday - The Nixons Down - Stone Temple Pilots Hand Me Down - Matchbox Twenty Work Out Better - Rusty So I Need You - Three Doors Down Don't be Long - The Tories If I Run - Semisonic Follow - Semisonic Bonus Track: Happy - The Tories Bonus Track: Song for You - Fuel She's Got My Number - Semisonic Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks Hideaway - Fuel

Follow as we build the soundtrack on Spotify!

Give: Sierra Fire Resiliency Fund Sonoma County Resilience Fund Sonoma County Humane Society

*Spoiler alert for Chapter 10: Hideaway

This is it

This is the chapter the book has been building to. This is the big reveal of where Hope the dog came from, and how she survived on her own. Now you know where she kept wanting to run to when Dustin and Damon first brought her home.

Having a vision for a story is weird. As time passes, the exact moment and way I thought of the idea is less and less clear. This vision I had of a junkyard next to a drive-in theater...I can't remember when it flashed in my mind. It was probably while I was driving to or from work. The commute is some of my best thinking time.

As I've mentioned, the song Gone to the Movies is a major inspiration for this book. In the song, a rusted Pontiac is mentioned, and I must have been trying to figure out how to get a stray dog near "the movies." A junkyard...next to a drive-in! Yeah, that's it!

I wish I knew that this actually was my line of thought, but oh well, perhaps it doesn't matter anymore.

Anyway, as I set up the plot in the first half of the book, this is the chapter I couldn't wait to get to. Having been to a few pick-n-pull junkyards in my time, I knew I could build a thorough aesthetic and experience for the reader.

Some of the cars are so stripped down and have been there so long that they are sinking into the mud. Damon thinks they look like sunken pirate ships at the bottom of the ocean, half of their carcasses buried in the sand.

This is one of my favorite lines in the book.

Hideaway

As I developed the concept of a dog living in a junkyard next to the drive-in, the song Hideaway by Fuel jumped to mind. I probably hadn't listened to the song in 15 years, but it is one of my favorites from that album and fits the story perfectly.

Troubled days cloud my eyes

Stole the sun from my skies

And in this darkness I am tossing, turning

Lying wide awake

Hold my breath, wish that I could find a place

To hideaway

- Fuel, Hideaway

A few things become obvious in this chapter:

Hope is lost from her owner, but we don't know how/why Something likely very sad happened to her, and has her scared of people, thus living in these questionable conditions She's very intelligent, and crafty; able to survive on her own

The lyrics of the song reference these concepts. The sun was stolen from Hope's sky, and she found comfort in this place. She needed a place to hide away from the world. You'll find out in the next Chapter what brings her comfort while living in a rusted old Pontiac.

Prequel

What I don't get into in the chapter is, why the junkyard? I hint that the place is obviously long neglected. There's no one there to talk to, and this is obvious when looking at the state of it.

As an author, I will always wonder if I should have lingered on plot details like this a bit longer, but I try to focus on what moves the story forward, not drags it down.

I will, however, be revealing the full backstory in a prequel book. I have story in my head that is clear now, and I have to get it out. I didn't know all of this when writing Gone to the Movies. That's ok though. The cool thing about living in this digital age is I can always release a 2.0 version of the book later that better fits into a series or whatever.

As a reminder, you should be following me on Twitter for more hints about the prequel, and eventually some snippets of writing I'll share!

Until next time, see you at the movies.

Soundtrack (thus far): Alive - Pearl Jam Across the Great Divide - Semisonic Bonus Track: Interstate Love Song - Stone Temple Pilots Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town - Pearl Jam Bonus Track: Rockin' Chair - Oasis Calling Yesterday - The Nixons Down - Stone Temple Pilots Hand Me Down - Matchbox Twenty Work Out Better - Rusty So I Need You - Three Doors Down Don't be Long - The Tories If I Run - Semisonic Follow - Semisonic Bonus Track: Happy - The Tories Bonus Track: Song for You - Fuel She's Got My Number - Semisonic Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks Hideaway - Fuel

Follow as we build the soundtrack on Spotify!

Give: Sierra Fire Resiliency Fund Sonoma County Resilience Fund Sonoma County Humane Society

*Spoiler alert for Chapter 9: She's Got My Number

Just tell the story

Some of these blog posts probably look like I am making things up as I go along. That's because...I am! Sometimes, one must simply sit down and write. It doesn't matter what flows from the fingertips into the keyboard, as long as it is something.

Eventually a story emerges, and then the real fun begins.

I am terrible at jotting down my thoughts in a journal. So, of course when I was writing Gone to the Movies, I had great ideas for the eventual soundtrack and blog posts. Did I write any of that down? No...or at most, very little. So each week, I must reread my own book, believe it or not, to prepare for a blog post. Fortunately, the relational database I call my brain remembers some of the good ideas when I do this.

Some of the ideas though, are probably lost forever.

Chapter Titles

I don't know if you noticed, but there are some subtle patterns to the chapter names. The first four chapters are named Blue, Borrowed, Old, New. You know: something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue...? In the United States (at least) we give these four things to a bride before she marries, for good luck.

The reasons behind me using these terms are fleeting. It seemed clever at the time, but obviously, nobody in the novel is getting married. When I began writing, I knew the main plot points of the first few chapters, and main scenes capturing those plot points. I debated going with chapter numbers, or chapter names.

I decided to use chapter names because I think it fits with the style of story better than numbers, which feel clinical and too innocuous. Going after a rustic feel to the story, I decided chapter names create more space in which the reader can find their comfort zone. Once this decision was made, I chose words that fit the story of each chapter.The names of the first four chapters just happened to coincide with the old wedding superstition, so here we are. Again, probably not as clever as I thought, but I like Easter-egg type stuff when consuming art, so I add it to my creations.

Back to the soundtrack again

By this point in the book, an attentive reader will notice that I named some chapters after songs that inspired me while writing. They would have to be a full-blown nineties music geek to see it, but it is there.

With She's Got My Number, Semisonic is back. This is a great song, and although it didn't inspire me to write the stories in this chapter, it was a perfect fit after the fact. I had a number of instances when a chapter went unnamed until something crossed my path that made sense. This was one of those instances.

She's got my number, she always did,

She can always see where my secrets hid,

Everything about me is hers to tell,

She's got my number, she always will.

- Semisonic, She's Got My Number

Of course, there are two sides to this conceptual coin in the chapter. Dustin finally works up the courage to call Hope. This has been building over a couple of chapters, and my intent was to show how lost Dustin is in all of this. He's not even sure how to call or talk to his wife about what is happening.

The other side of the coin is that he runs into Melissa in the bar on her birthday, and he senses that they are drawn to each other, yet his persistent second-guessing of himself clouds what is happening with her. Of course, being married with the responsibilities of a father, he smartly exits the situation to get back to Damon.

So, who's got Dustin's number? Both Holly and Melissa? They both get to him in this chapter. So the song definitely fits the theme of the story.

Garth Brooks? Really?

In this book, one of my favorite scenes to write was the bar scene in this chapter. This one snuck up on me though. Once I realized what was happening in the story (yes, writers don't always have everything perfectly plotted out), I really leaned into it.

I take pride in the setting descriptions I wrote in the book, and I've been complimented on this scene in particular. Inspiration for it was a mix of a bar I worked at in college and various saloon style dive bars I've visited over the years. Again, with that rustic vibe I keep referring to.

So, yes, Friends in Low Places is added to the soundtrack. Lucky for you country haters, this song is not available on Spotify! Of course, people can easily create this soundtrack in their own music player, and choose to keep this one in or out. But for me, it is a classic, and you're in my world now. Just kidding. But not really.

The End

Sometimes the thing that pushes us over the edge is not the thing that is really upsetting us.

The book ends with Damon visibly upset about the dog getting sick that day. But, when the tears really start flowing, he admits he misses his mom. This leads to one of my favorite lines in the book. It's not overly dramatic, but you'll see it in the story more than this one time.

“It’s okay to cry, you know.”

I remember as a kid we were moving out of my childhood home. I wanted to ride in the moving truck with my dad, my older brother, and his friend. But there wasn't room, and they told me I couldn't go with them. This upset me enough to hide out and start crying.

My mom found me, asked me what was wrong, and I said I was crying because we were moving. In truth, I just wanted to ride in the moving truck with my dad and my bro. It seemed lame that I would cry about this, so I told my mom the other thing.

Anyway...even as the writer, I'll never be sure what was really upsetting Damon in this chapter. Probably all of the above. But, sometimes what people are saying is not what they are truly feeling.

Until next time, see you at the movies.

Soundtrack (thus far): Alive - Pearl Jam Across the Great Divide - Semisonic Bonus Track: Interstate Love Song - Stone Temple Pilots Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town - Pearl Jam Bonus Track: Rockin' Chair - Oasis Calling Yesterday - The Nixons Down - Stone Temple Pilots Hand Me Down - Matchbox Twenty Work Out Better - Rusty So I Need You - Three Doors Down Don't be Long - The Tories If I Run - Semisonic Follow - Semisonic Bonus Track: Happy - The Tories Bonus Track: Song for You - Fuel She's Got My Number - Semisonic Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks

Follow as we build the soundtrack on Spotify!

Give: Sierra Fire Resiliency Fund Sonoma County Resilience Fund Sonoma County Humane Society