Sana' K.C.N. Watts's Blog

To: anyone who identifies with my testimony in progress,

From: a Christian who struggles with anxiety and suicidal depression.

Yeah, my diagnosis is a mouthful.
And a mountain.
And faith can make it move.

Right?

Sigh.

Miraculous healing might be
The illness going away.
It also might be the strength to bear it.

Breakthrough sometimes looks like
Breathing
Even though our body and our mind
Fight us on it.

Can I get an amen?

For the sufferer who's still obeying?
For the doubter who's still worshipping?
For the broken who's still bearing God's image?


Your amen is an acknowledgement
A statement.
Saying: I see you.

Echoing the name of God:
El-Roi (El-raw-ee):
He is the God who sees me.
And whispers
To our weariness

Descends
Into our despair
And promises
His presence in the pain


We are not alone.


Beloved brother and sister,
You are not alone.


There us no new calamity under the sun
So, we are one
Nay, we are won
By the suffering Son


Who says to our illness
It is Finished.
And we must simply take it for the
Promise that it is.

If my life could speak,

She would say:
Keep fighting for me.

She would say,
We have more.
More love to give,
More joy to experience,
More faith to practice.

She would say:
Weariness doesn't nullify worth.

She would say:
We belong to Yahweh.
He gets to decide the length of our days.
Don't steal the pen from the Author.
Embrace the story that He's written.

She would say,
Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.